The House

{ (set: $dontfoot to true) (set: $rooms to (a: (dm: "name", "Foyer", "id", 1), (dm: "name", "Living Room", "id", 2), (dm: "name", "Kitchen", "id", 3), (dm: "name", "Ballroom", "id", 4), (dm: "name", "Rumpus Room", "id", 5), (dm: "name", "Attic", "id", 6), (dm: "name", "Nursery", "id", 7), (dm: "name", "Trophy Room", "id", 8), (dm: "name", "Courtyard", "id", 9), (dm: "name", "Breakfast Nook", "id", 10), (dm: "name", "Wishing Well", "id", 11) ) ) (set: $inventory to (a:)) (set: $character to (a: (dm: "name", "Cybernetic Assassin Buddy-813", "nickname", "Cabbie", "id", 1, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "'Cabbie' seems to be your typical Brooklyn cab driver who does his job and goes home. But his knowledge of current and upcoming events seems a little too detailed. Where is this guy really from and who is this 'Sandra' he keeps asking about?" ), (dm: "name", "Dr. Aluca von Chupa", "nickname", "Dr. Aluca", "id", 2, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "Dr. Aluca is a noticeably well-dressed man. His style and mannerisms seem a little...old-fashioned compared to how he looks. What could be the secret behind his past, and what is this dark aura that seems to surround him?" ), (dm: "name", "Jessica Porter", "nickname", "Jess", "id", 3, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "Jessica is an aspiring writer who could never really get off the ground after college. She is a little plain and no one would call her unattractive, but her only serious relationship recently ended in a bad way. Now she is thirty-something, living with her parents again, and left asking herself: 'Is it too late for love?'" ), (dm: "name", "Lattie", "nickname", "Lattie", "id", 4, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "Lattie was born to be a prized show dog. But the pressure of preforming erupted into a vicious incident at last year's 'Dog and Cat Tandem Event'. Can this old girl learn new tricks to get back in the spotlight, or is it time to rollover to home life?" ), (dm: "name", "⨝⨖⨴⨻⨀⨅⨡⩕", "nickname", "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer", "id", 5, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "A giant cloak envelops his figure. A mighty rod with a mysterious gem affixed to the top rests in his hand. His eyes seem to look through people telling him not only *what* he sees but also why and when. What does this mysterious man know and what is this great power that can be felt around him?" ), (dm: "name", "Guy Xorbliip Normal", "nickname", "Guy", "id", 6, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "Guy X. Normal is just your normal guy. He does normal things and doesn't even think about strange things like space or the Igrrlpian empire from the eastern rim of Andromeda. Why don't we all try to be a little bit more normal like Guy?" ), (dm: "name", "Fin", "nickname", "Fin and Bones!", "id", 7, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "Fin and his partner Bones are the knee-slapping partners from the famous comedy duo Fin and Bones! They will rattle your bones with laughter with their on-brand off-beat comedy style. Bones sure looks like he lost some weight, but that trademark grin he's wearing must mean it's showtime!" ), (dm: "name", "Draagmuth", "nickname", "Speaky Sophie", "id", 8, "key obtained", false, "affinity", 0, "bio", "'She's a doll' is quite literal with Speaky Sophie! Any little girl's favorite toy: she walks, she talks, she schemes, and she says she will always be there. Is she...here...right now?" ) ) ) (set: $player to (dm: "pc", 0, "num of keys", 0, "partners", (a:), "current room ID", 0 ) ) }

{(if: $dontfoot is false)[ (set: _roomID to $player's "current room ID") (set: _room to "") (for: each _rm, ...$rooms)[ (if: _rm's "id" is _roomID)[ (set: _room to _rm) ] ] (set: _partnerIDset to $player's "partners") (set: _currentPartyIDs to (a: $player's "pc", _partnerIDset's 1st, _partnerIDset's 2nd, _partnerIDset's 3rd)) (print: " You are in the ") (print: _room's "name")(print: ". ") (print: "You can talk to your party: ") (if: $player's "pc" is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 1 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 1)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Cabbie") (if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Cabbie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "cabbie_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Cabbie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "cabbie") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Cabbie") (if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 2 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 2)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca") (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Dr. Aluca")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "aluca_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Dr. Aluca")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "aluca") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Dr. Aluca") (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 3 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 3)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Jess") (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Jess")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "jess_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Jess")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "jess") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Jess") (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 4 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 4)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Lattie") (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Lattie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "lattie_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Lattie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "lattie") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Lattie") (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 5 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 5)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer") (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "saarg_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "saarg") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer") (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 6 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 6)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Guy") (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Guy")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "guy_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Guy")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "guy") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Guy") (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 7 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 7)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!") (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Fin and Bones!")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "fin_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Fin and Bones!")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "fin") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Fin and Bones!") (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 8 )[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is 8)[ (if: _char's "affinity" is 0)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie") (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: " (You)") (click: "Speaky Sophie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "doll_2a") ] ](else:)[ (click: "Speaky Sophie")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "doll") ] ] (print: " ") ] (else:) [ (print: "Speaky Sophie") (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: " (You)") ] (print: " ") ] ] ] ] (print: " From here you can go to: ") (print: "[[Foyer ->Foyer]] ") (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 1 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 1 )[ (print: "[[Nursery ->Nursery]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 2 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 2 )[ (print: "[[Ballroom ->Ballroom]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 3 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 3 )[ (print: "[[Living Room ->Living Room]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 4 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 4 )[ (print: "[[Breakfast Nook ->Breakfast Nook]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 5 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 5 )[ (print: "[[Trolphy Room ->Trophy Room]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 6 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 6 )[ (print: "[[Courtyard ->Courtyard]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 7 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 7 )[ (print: "[[Rumpus Room ->Rumpus Room]] ") ] (if: _currentPartyIDs's 1st is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 2nd is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 3rd is 8 or _currentPartyIDs's 4th is 8 )[ (print: "[[Kitchen ->Kitchen]] ") ] (print: "[[Attic ->Attic]] ") ]}

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 2) }This is the Living Room. From the large window, you can see the front yard. On the floor, several ornate couches are strewn about. Many strange oil canvas paintings hang from the walls. You barely notice those details compared to the massive brick fireplace that takes over the entire east wall replete with intricate gold leaf carvings. Jessica is intently looking at a painting of a brownish gray blob.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (replace: "Jessica is intently looking at a painting of a brownish gray blob.")[ (print: "There is a painting of a brownish gray blob that seems to be calling out to you.") ] (if: $character's 3rd's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "calling out to you")[ (go-to: "livingroom_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 3rd's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "Jessica")[ (go-to: "livingroom_2") ] ] (if: $character's 3rd's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "Jessica is intently looking at a painting of a brownish gray blob.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "There is a painting of a brownish gray blob that seems to be calling out to you.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 4) }This is the Ballroom. A massive open area for the crowd and a stage large enough for a ska band hint at the scale of events that may have been held here in the past. Mirrors line the walls, like in a romance drama set in a hardware store. You notice Dr. Aluca looking disgusted at his lack of reflection.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (replace: "You notice Dr. Aluca looking disgusted at his lack of reflection.")[ (print: "You notice the disgusting lack of your reflection.") ] (if: $character's 2nd's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "your reflection")[ (go-to: "ballroom_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 2nd's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "his lack of reflection")[ (go-to: "ballroom_2") ] ] (if: $character's 2nd's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "You notice Dr. Aluca looking disgusted at his lack of reflection.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You notice the disgusting lack of your reflection.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 7) }This is the nursery. Pastel colors cover the walls and floors. Toys, balls, and childrens' games spill out of the shelves and a toybox in the corner. The empty crib in the center of the room which sports a well-made setup of sheets continues to rock. You notice Cabbie scanning the room.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (replace: "You notice Cabbie scanning the room.")[ (print: "You notice yourself scanning the room. Not with your scanners...") ] (if: $character's 1st's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "scanning")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "nursery_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 1st's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "scanning")[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "nursery_2") ] ] (if: $character's 1st's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "You notice Cabbie scanning the room.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You notice yourself scanning the room. Not with your scanners...")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 1) }You are in the Foyer. From the front door the area opens up revealing a beautiful winding staircase to the upper level. A large area rug and matching tapestry appear to be hand made from an ancient tribe you could not place. They appear to depict scenes of a great feast. Looking a little closer reveals the people look to be more like dogs standing up, and they appear to be eating only some kind of meat.

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 10) }This is the Breakfast Nook. A modest window looks out to the side of the house. The small table and chairs look relatively quaint in this house. Picturing the scones and tea biscuits that must have been picked to pieces in this very nook gives you chills. Lattie is intensely sniffing the window. The hair on her neck is standing up.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (replace: "Lattie is intensely sniffing the window. The hair on her neck is standing up.")[ (print: "You sniff intensely at the window. The hair on your neck is standing up.") ] (if: $character's 4th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "at the window")[ (go-to: "nook_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 4th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "sniffing the window")[ (go-to: "nook_2") ] ] (if: $character's 4th's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "Lattie is intensely sniffing the window. The hair on her neck is standing up.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You sniff intensely at the window. The hair on your neck is standing up.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 8) }This is the Trophy Room. The walls are absolutely filled with the stuffed heads of large beasts of various sizes of largeness. But by far the biggest head is attached to a skin stretched out on the floor. Only a few species you can recognize. Saargröf is looking at the head of a fanged, scaley creature on the wall.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (replace: "Saargröf is looking at the head of a fanged, scaley creature on the wall.")[ (print: "You feel there is something familiar about this dragon.") ] (if: $character's 5th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "dragon")[ (go-to: "trophy_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 5th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "scaley creature")[ (go-to: "trophy_2") ] ] (if: $character's 5th's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "Saargröf is looking at the head of a fanged, scaley creature on the wall.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You feel there is something familiar about this dragon.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 9) }You step out into the Courtyard. The brick fence is impassable. A dark woods goes deep into the rear of the estate. A grassy knoll watches over the gazebos that dot the flatter patch of yard. You stand among them near some Crockett wickets rising up from the earth like children's tombstones. You notice Guy looking around, perplexed by something...{ (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (replace: "You notice Guy looking around, perplexed by something...")[ (print: "You are confused. Is this the right room?") ] (if: $character's 6th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "this")[ (go-to: "court_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 6th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "something")[ (go-to: "court_2") ] ] (if: $character's 6th's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "You notice Guy looking around, perplexed by something...")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You are confused. Is this the right room?")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 5) }You go down into the Rumpus Room. Truly you are deep in the belly of the beast in this house. The fully stocked bar, the dartboards on the wall, the bumper pool table... all of these feel like they are there to do nothing more than lure you into a false sense of security. You have never been more on edge in any other room in this house than you are in here right now. Fin and Bones! appears to be trying to get the TV on.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (replace: "Fin and Bones! appears to be trying to get the TV on.")[ (print: "You try to turn on the TV so you can watch something to calm your nerves.") ] (if: $character's 7th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "turn on the TV")[ (go-to: "rumpus_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 7th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "trying to get the TV on")[ (go-to: "rumpus_2") ] ] (if: $character's 7th's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "Fin and Bones! appears to be trying to get the TV on.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You try to turn on the TV so you can watch something to calm your nerves.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 3) }You have entered the Kitchen. This must have been only for servants. It is a little dirtier than the rest of the house. Soot and a light film of grease cover the walls, floors, and surfaces. Large wood-fired stoves and ovens look like they could have hosted a guest list in the hundreds. Dozens of knives hang from the ceiling. They all look freshly sharpened. Speaky Sophie is sitting very close to the knives.{ (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (replace: "Speaky Sophie is sitting very close to the knives.")[ (print: "You are in a favorable position amongst the knives.") ] (if: $character's 8th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "amongst the knives")[ (go-to: "kitchen_3a") ] ] ] (if: $character's 8th's "affinity" is 1)[ (click: "close to the knives")[ (go-to: "kitchen_2") ] ] (if: $character's 8th's "key obtained" is true)[ (replace: "Speaky Sophie is sitting very close to the knives.")[ (print: "") ] (replace: "You are in a favorable position amongst the knives.")[ (print: "") ] ] }

{ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $player's "current room ID" to 6) }You climb into the attic. You fight through the cobwebs, dust, and boxes of long forgotten dreams. You see a door with 4 locks. Open the door.{ (click: "Open the door.")[ (if: $player's "num of keys" is 4)[ (set: $dontfoot to true) (go-to: "End Scene") ](else:)[ (replace: "Open the door.")[ (print: "You do not have enough keys.") ] ] ]}

You decide to talk to the cab driver. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! They think they can deceive me with this heartless, bloodless creature? I sense no other life in it. I am curious what manner of creature this is...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>The city of Brooklyn, where this man is certainly from judging by his accent... What a magical city. It makes my heart race just thinking about it. I have never been there myself, but one of my favorite shows of all time is 'Boffnig and Brooklyn'. The show follows wild, romantic-adjacent escapades of Shamandra while she struggles to find a balance between love and a career in the big city. My favorite episode has to be the one where her cab driver made her late to her big presentation so she planned to sleep with him to skip out on paying the fare! Things didn't go as planned when they fell in love and were married for the whole rest of the episode! Can... I find love in unexpected places?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff sniiiiiiiiiif* Arwoo?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>I can see this one is a 5th dimensional traveler like myself, though I do not sense any magic in him. He remained perfectly still like the rest of them as I was learning the language... perhaps it is a deception. I must ask him to explain his nature.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>I had an assassin robot a lot like this when I was a young! I should ask him if he can juggle six Bxorgets too!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Bones, you're the white one. Ask this cab driver for a ride out of here!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>This one has no soul, but it has a living body. How infuriatingly ironic...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|cabbie_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the well-dressed man. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >human >male >approximate age: 45–64 >apparel appears to be from the 19th century Interpretation: >Perhaps this man can be useful for finding out what time period we are in.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>I feel a strange...attraction to this man. The kind of attraction I have never felt before. I am reminded of a movie I saw called \"The Maiden and the Monster\". A classic fairy-tale wherein a maiden gets trapped on an Elizabethan ship with a monstrous man who has a terrible curse. She goes along with every demand of his at first, due to the implication, but slowly the man's heart becomes wooed by the maiden's feminine charms, and the curse is broken. My heart races when he is near, as if a monster is sniffing a meal. I wonder... could I be the maiden who can woo his heart?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff* Bark bark bark. Bow-wow. Grrr....</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>I sense that a great power once lived in this man. Likely it is now bound by the same curse that now shackles my abilities. This man could become a great ally against the unknown force. My first impression will be key. I shall stop time for a few days to practice of the perfect way to introduce myself...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>This one most definitely seems to be human. Except maybe not. My Klorblil organ does not seem to be sensing any body heat from him. In order for me to see if he can be of assistance, first I must ask him in a normal human way what he is...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Bones, looking at this guy is making me white as you, but in order to make sure me and my body—I mean buddy—get out of here alive, I have got to try to get this guy on our side!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>This one certainly has been very successful with the trifling power he has possessed. It may be worth my while to ask him about his methods.</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|aluca_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the plain woman. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Analysis complete. Findings: >human >female >approximate age: 30–38 >apparel includes shirt depicting an east Asian singer and the phrase 'husbando' Interpretation: >May be useful for communicating with locals, if we are not in an English-speaking region.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! Who is this foolish woman who dares speak so casually with me? My powers of control are greatly impeded, but I can still make her to know her place without frightening her away. For my revenge will come when I get my chance to dine on her flesh...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>Bark bark! *Pant pant pant*</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>I sense no magical energy from this one. She also does not have the appearance of one who has had children. More curious, her body does not show signs of regular work, like a maid's would. She must be very ill, and this is no place for someone like this. I must let her know that I will protect her from the evil of this place...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Is she really wearing a K-Pop shirt with Yuan on it?! Everyone knows that he would be nothing without Jeri's backup vocals! True fans know he's the real face of the group! I think this girl is a fake fan, and I am going to tell her what us real fans think...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>This girl looks like she's ready mystery novels and can help get us out of here, Bones! Let's ask her for a date—I mean a kiss—I mean a hug—I mean a nice pat on the butt—I mean... let's just talk to her...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>This one seems to be of a very weak will. Perhaps if I keep her around long enough for my seal to crack, I can transfer to her as a new vessel...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|jess_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the doggie. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >dog >female >approximate age: 3–6 >breed: sheep dog Interpretation: >Further interrogation needed. >Listing necessary interrogation questions: >>Who is a good girl? >>Who is a good girl? >>Who is a good girl?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! They think I can work with filthy humans AND filthy dogs?! All are animals to me! Though, she does remind me of the cerberus who guards my wine cellar...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>Every time I see a dog like this, I can't help but think of the classic children's movie 'The Badger and the Bitch' about a rancher who is trying to get rid of the badger pest on his property and his female dog who unexpectedly becomes friends with it. Last month, when I was re-watching it, I thought a lot about how people can become friends in unexpected situations. When I got to the end and the rancher had his rifle held up to the badger and the dog stepped out in front of it only to get bitten by the badger who the rancher then shot plus the wound was fatal so the rancher had to put the dog down too, it made me think that the dog did not understand why it should not be friends with the badger and should have just listened to his master without rebelling. I really need to get the toxic people who are my badgers out of my life...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>The generations have truly destroyed the ferocity of this once noble beast. Although, these little collars are adorable...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Our research indicates that these dogs are the second-highest form of life on this planet. Just above humans and below African pygmy squirrels. I must try to communicate with this one in hopes to win favor with their leaders.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Bones, I know you're scared of dogs, but I will try to show her that you are friendly and not a juicy chew toy! Rattle rattle rattle.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>A dog? This may be perfect... If I can keep the dog close by, I should be able to weaken the seal and have enough power to influence the beast to do my bidding. I must take great care to not end up torn to pieces...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|lattie_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the cloaked man with a great beard. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >human >male >approximate age: range error >appearance: >>wearing a thick fabric >>wide brimmed hat >>full beard appx. 26in long >>large staff in right hand >>black eyes with small colored dots in them Interpretation: >Clearly an old man with severe ocular injuries in his bathrobe. The elderly have many connections that may include target...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! Who dares put one of his kind before me?! They can be so annoying to do battle with... Last time, I had to throw a steam roller on one to end our duel! It would be a long tedious endeavor with my powers being held... Better to keep things peaceful...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>This old man... He looks so... reliable... I am lost in his dark, starry eyes... I went to a karaoke bar for my friend's bacholrette party in college. On the stage was an older man singing his heart out to an even older song. My friends laughed, but to me up there was truly the man from the very song he was singing: a lip sync hero with galaxies in his eyes... Could...I be that one ukulele that will feel good in his hands?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff sniff* Bark bark!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Holy space makeral how embarassing! If that guy knew what those runes actually meant he wouldn't have them tatooed all over his face! And his arms! I could die of laughter—which is a thing that happens to our species often. O.K. try not to laugh...! Just try to ask him casually about them... I don't know if I can do this...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>A real life wizard, Bones! I hope he's the conjuring type, because today I feel like we could both use a drink strong enough to wake the dead!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>I wonder... If this doll could be reverted in time to before I was sealed in it, would I finally be free? I must try to make this one an ally...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|saarg_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the thin man. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >human >male >approximate age: 24–38 >appearance thin, wirey, something under his skin seems to be moving >body temperature abnormally low at 45F Interpretation: >Canadian</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! Who dares bring one of these organic but bloodless mortals in front of me! No matter. I have learned how to speak with their kind before...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>Pale, thin, and handsome... Just my type! I once watched a movie with my dad called The Gentlemen in Ebony Suits about secret branch of the government dedicated to keeping the existence of robots or something a secret. I wasn't really paying attention, but I remember there was a character who was litteraly a swarm of butterflies filling a skin-like exterior shell. I remember thinking if I had a man like that, I could dance with butterflies every night! I wonder if this guy likes butterflies as much as I do...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff* Bark. *Sniff sniff* Bark?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>Poor, pale man. I too know what it's like to not see the sun for months on end... He must labor through the night...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Ooooh, I've seen enough movies to know that that guy is looking a little to normal for this crowd! Did you see that Bones? I know it's been a while, but do you think skin is supposed to do that?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>Where I'm from I devour these creatures by the handful. I should like to keep this one around for emergency food...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|guy_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to talk to the man holding a skeleton. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >human >male >bald >approximate age: 29–41 >wearing blazer and brightly colored shirt >carrying human remains Interpretation: >98% likelyhood this is one of Cloudland.Org's new model of orgainic assassin droid</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! What nonsense is this that someone would be parading such an embarrasingly unpolished trolphy! I shall instruct this curr to purchase one of my many published manuscripts on european mounts...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>Why is he carrying those bones around? And the odd way he talks... and how he keeps saying 'rattle rattle rattle'... I don't get it. Oh, he must be from Halloween Burg! I watch that tweenager movie every October: The Night Terrors Fueled by an After New Years Eve Hangover. In the film, every holiday has its own burg. Even the one on Route 7 and Lake Avenue. My favorite part was after they returned the undropped new years ball they kidnapped to his home in New Years Burg. They were panicking about what to do about the 32nd day of December since it had taken all day without the ball being dropped. But then they remembered it was a leap year, so it all worked out in the end. Then our hero skeleton man Triggr Treet kissed his sweet girl Mary Q. Contrarry under the glasses-shaped-like-the-year-it's-going-to-be. He proves that it's the thought that counts in romance... I should ask his friend if *this* skeleton man is single...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Pant pant pant pant*</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>Something about what this man is doing feels familiar. I should ask him if I know him from another time...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>This guy is stealing my old bit! And he's not doing it justice at all! When I was at the academy, I used to steal four skeletons to put on shows in the dorm! And we did singing! And dancing! And I put a can of dried flirgs in one so I didn't have to say, 'rattle rattle rattle' at the end of every punchline! Somebody has to tell this guy that you shouldn't copy what you don't understand! ... Why is my irony organ cramping?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>If this one always carries the body around, perhaps the spirits attracted to the scent of death can aide me... I must find a way to remain close to him...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|fin_2]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }Something compells you to talk to the doll. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Preliminary analysis complete. Findings: >doll >female >model Speaky Sophie >talks with preset voice recordings >internal electronics appear non-functional Interpretation: >interrogation would be futile >with minor repairs and modifications, could make a disguised snook for a young human female target...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>FOOLS! Who dares mock me with this model of Speaky Sophie?! Mine had a chip in her ear before I lost her!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>A Speaky Sophie, just like the one I always wanted! I told my mother I wanted one. But... instead I got a Tooty Tilly. Am I O.K. to take this one, or is this one of those situations where the house will try to swallow me up if I take anything?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff sniff* ... Grrr</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>Some maner of great sealing spell is on this item... What kind of power could be trapped within...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Is this what human females are supposed to look like? So unrealalistic! There's no way their organs could fit in those small body curvatures!—I barely fit into this skin! Unless... this is just to scale and not actual size.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Bones, I don't like how that doll keeps talking without anyone touching her! I need to just keep saying to myself: she was probably just bought on Wash... or Tepu... or Chein... or modern Applizon...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|doll_2]]

''The House'' Choose a character: {(for: each _chars, ...$character)[ (print: _chars's "nickname") (click: _chars's "nickname")[ (set: $player's "pc" to _chars's "id") (go-to: "Team Select") ] (print: " ") (print: _chars's "bio") (print: " ") ]}

{ (set: _team to $player's "partners") (set: _nextSel to 1) (for: each _peeps, ..._team)[ (if: _peeps is 0)[ ](else:)[ (set: _nextSel to it + 1) ] ] }(if: _nextSel is 1)[ (print: "Choose 3 team members:") ] (else-if: _nextSel is 2)[ (print: "Choose 2 more team members:") ] (else-if: _nextSel is 3)[ (print: "Choose 1 more team member:") ] (else-if: _nextSel is 4)[ (go-to: "Intro") ] {(for: each _chars, ...$character)[ (set: _skip to false) (for: each _member, ...$player's "partners")[ (if: _member is _chars's "id")[ (set: _skip to true) ] ] (if: _chars's "id" is $player's "pc")[ (set: _skip to true) ] (if: _skip is false)[ (print: _chars's "nickname") (click: _chars's "nickname")[ (set: $player's "partners" to it + (a: _chars's "id")) (go-to: "Team Select") ] (print: " ") (print: _chars's "bio") (print: " ") ] ]}

*CRACK* You wake up to the sound of thunder. Darkness hides your surroundings, but you sense you are indoors. You feel around the cold floor for a table or a wall to get your bearings. *CRACK* The lightning briefly illuminates the room to reveal three other figures in the room with you. Just as the room would go dark again, suddenly the entire area becomes lit with dozens of candles attached to sconces, chandeliers, and lamps. It appears you are in the foyer of an old house of that classic Victorian mansion style. You can see the three other figures clearly now. {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "\"I feel like I had a crash...\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "\"Who dares awaken my slumber...!\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "\"Wh-where am I?\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "\"*Whimper*\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "\"▲║▀Ⱡ∏֍?\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "\"I love sleeping on the floor just like the rest of you. Does anyone know our coordinates?\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "\"Last time we woke up in a stranger's house like this, I lost a kidney and you lost your kid's knee! Rattle rattle rattle.\"") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "\"I'm Speaky Sophie and I love you all.\"") (print: " ") ]} You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Boot Sequence complete. Boot Sequence results: >normal boot >abnormal shutdown >GPS unavailable; sonar scan required to determine location. Sonar Scan initiate. Facial Database Scan initiate. Sonar Scan complete. Sonar Scan results: >currently in large domicile >outside is grassy area surrounded by large brick fence >area outside of fence: ... error Facial Database Scan complete. Facial Database results: >face 1: not Sandra >face 2: not Sandra >face 3: not Sandra Cybernetic Assassin Buddy-813 Civilian Disguise Mode 'CAB813' initiate...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Fools! Who are these insufferable fools before me!? I sense much of my power being restrained somehow... Clearly none of these FOOLS could have done this. Perhaps this presence I sense from at the highest room in this house...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>I have awoken in this strange house with these strange people. Perhaps I should be scared, but I am not. Instead I am reminded of one of my favorite novels 'The House on Hubbard's Hill' where a fairlady and the farm hand boy fell into a forbidden love. Her father and the Count who ruled the land continued to come between them, until a mysterious stranger revealed that the farm hand boy was the Count's nephew and if he married the fairlady he would become the rightful count. Being in this house... Am I the fairlady? Am I going to meet my farm hand boy today?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>Grrr. Bark! Bark. Bark bark bark bark. ... Whimper...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>⨝⨻⁅⁂ ⨴※⁑⁋⁜⌀ ₼⁁⁐⁕‡‗⨻⨻⁅. ↸⇌▨◄◒⁰Ⅹ: ⩕⁕₼↸◒ ... Day ⇌▨⨃⨜⨱: Start◒⁕⨻₼ ⁅⁅№⌉↛⇲derstand. ... Day 49: I believe I have finished decoding their language using what they have said so far. I will be restarting time now.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>My Grfflulip is missing, so I have no way of contacting the mother ship if this turns out to be trouble... Looks like I have no choice but to continue to act normal to deceive these humans until I get a chance to find my way back to my base.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Well, Bones. I don't know if it's destiny or your cousin Destiny Lafonda who brought us here, but it looks like these guys could use a laugh!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>... My time approaches. ... Soon...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue |Foyer]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true)}You open the door and a bright light blinds you briefly. *** When your eyes adjust, you notice the light surrounds you. Endless dim white light with no attic or house in sight. A mysterious being appears in front of you. Hovering and shimmering like an X-Ray Tadpole. <div class="it">"Congratulations on passing this test! "I will now enlighten you on what you have learned today and give you the rewards you truly have earned.</div> [[Continue|end_2]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Say, buddy. Does you know a gal by the name of Sandra who grows up to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad? Also, what's your whole deal?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "I-I love this house, don't you? I can... imagine me cleaning it for you.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Bark bark! Bow-wow... Woof!*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "How does it do fellow empowered individual? —⨻⨱⌉⇲⨃!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Say, you look like the tallest drink of di-hydrogen monoxide here. Are you keeping it not difficult?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hey, first of all, I've got to tell you my friend Bones here is beyond white with envy for those two big teeth you have there. Rattle rattle rattle. Second, can you turn us all into bats and Get Us the Calcium Out of Here!™") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to hear what you can do!") (print: " ") ]} He replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hm? I am afraid I do not currently know anyone living by that name. Hm. Since the time when my traversal was mostly by carriage, I have felt it easy to tell my life's story to a cab driver, as we all do...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Hm? There is a large carnivorous monster that looks like gelatin who cleans my house, so I am not looking to hire a cleaning wench. Though, if you knew more about me, you would not want any part of my world...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "What's that Lattie? You want to hear about my horrible curse? Very well...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "I have met one of your kind before, time wizard. Us both being trapped here means this is a very dire situation indeed...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Hm. Your people are quite the infestation on our planet. But to me, so are the humans. Allow me to enlighten you on what life is like for a superior being such as myself...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hm? Yes, I too enjoy parading the bones of my fallen enemies. But a human's life is too short for a grudge...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I once came into possession of a Speaky Sophie doll like yourself. During those years after Vun Belmsing destroyed my castle when I was always traveling, she became my dearest friend...") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|aluca_3]]

"My name is Dr. Aluca von Chupa. Though I do not recall if that was my name before my second 'birth'. I remember first coming into consciousness seconds after my transformation. I remember falling. The twisted woman known as the Vampire Duchess of Rhodes dropped me from a cliff after drinking me of all but just enough blood to keep me awake for my fall. My new vampire body survived the fall, as she anticipated. The pain was excruciating. And the sun was quickly rising. My only salvation turned out to be the witch's greed. She had recently used this same trick but on mostly drained humans whom she did not turn. Broken bits of flesh containing thimbles of blood was my first meal. I managed enough strength to slide a few human bodies on top of me. While the bodies of my fellow vampires dried to dust in the sun, I was shielded and gradually gaining the power I needed. By nightfall my new body had healed enough that I could stagger to a local farm to get a real feast from the cattle there. And the farmers. I spent another few days feasting at different farms in the area and getting used to my powers. I must have known something about vampires before my transformation, as I became acclimated quite rapidly. I was ready for my revenge. [[Continue|aluca_4]]

Armed only with my teeth, my claws, and my lust for revenge, I tore through the witch's guards with ease, ripping off limbs and heads. I have never known fear as a vampire, but by the looks on their faces, that is not a universal trait. The hag evidently had grown comfortable with having her guards protect her. She fought like it was her first time in a hundred years. It was disappointing. I was happy to take some of her torture ideas to heart. It was early winter. I put her under the awning of one of the sheds in the castle. I put iron steaks through her legs, her arms, several spots on her torso, her neck, and one right through her forehead. The first day, her toes would be out of the shade of the awning. And every day after that until the hot summer sun finally got to her head, I woke each morning in my new castle to the sound of her screams. Few emotions in a vampire are as powerful as the satisfaction of revenge. [[Continue |aluca_5]]

I spent the next several decades in that castle, until that detestable Vun Belmsing displaced me. But my new home carries the sweet scent of even more of my dead enemies. Because when a door shuts on me, I create a window." (if: $player's "pc" is not 2)[ You decide not ask if he needs the extra windows to get the rotting smell out from all of the dead enemies. Your affinity with Dr. Aluca increased.](else:)[ Your partners appear to be in awe of your fearsome power.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 2nd's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Dr. Aluca more about his curse. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Ray tracing error.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>His curse must be a great burden on him. To be reminded of his nightmare every time he sees a mirror... I can't imagine how he must feel... When I was a little girl—and last summer—I went to Giz-nee Opolis. One of the attractions was Mirrors Across the World, where you would ride in a mine cart and see yourself in different mirrors. Giz-nee Imaginologists® made the mirrors to reflect yourself as a different race from around the world. Looking at those strange, distorted versions of myself still cannot possibly be more jarring than seeing nothing at all. I wonder... Am I the real version of myself, or has culture already warped me from my true self?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff sniff. Sniff sniff sniff* Grrr....</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>I have come across many curses in many times. This one seems particularly curious. I must ask if this is the cause of some kind of Light magic...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>I knew something was strange about this one! He is obviously a hologram! If I call him out on his deception, surely I can win favor with the other humans...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Oh, gee, Bones. I don't think I could live with myself if I couldn't see my reflection—though I know you would love to never have to see your bald spot!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>Of all who have bore this curse, this one may be the most powerful. I would like to make a contract with him...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|ballroom_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Fella, I don't know what to tell ya, but your reflection ain't there, it's not.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Wh-what ethnicity do you see yourself as...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Bark bark! Grr. Bark!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "I have never met a Light magic user before. What are the uses of this spell?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Hey everybody! I noticed this guy is different, which us *real* humans hate. Put down the disguise and show us your true self!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Serious question Bones has been dying to ask: how do you know if you have chives in your teeth? Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play with you!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|ballroom_4]]

Before an answer can be made, the mirrors suddenly change. You watch as through the mirrors everyone and thing in the room except for The Reflectionless age, decay, and rot away. The building crumbles to dust. A forest grows, burns, then decays into a lifeless bog. You can smell the liquid death. Dr. Aluca cringes at his own miserable loathing. The inner torment continues until: "There is something I left out of the story I told you... [[Continue|ballroom_5]]{ (if: $player's "pc" is 2) [ (replace: "Dr. Aluca cringes at his own miserable loathing.")[ You cringe at your own miserable loathing. ] ]}

I told you about the vampire queen who turned me and my revenge on her. But I lied when I implied I did not remember *anything* from before I turned... I was not alone when I first came to the witch's castle. I was with the woman I loved when I was mortal. We had been madly, passionately in love for many years before she fell ill. I was desperate to find a cure. I would do anything. My research led me to legends of vampires. [[Continue|ballroom_6]]

We approached the castle with a simple offer: my life in exchange for turning my love into an immortal vampire. [[Continue|ballroom_7]]

I thought I had learned enough about vampire abilities and weaknesses to hold my own against them. But my inexperienced mortal body was no match for their speed, and they captured us before we got to even see the queen. Our last days as mortals were spent looking at each other from separate cells on opposite sides of the castle dungeon, waiting like livestock for when the beasts decided it was time to devour us. [[Continue|ballroom_8]]

They took me first. That night they were having a party in a ballroom much like this. I was hung up at the punch table like some kind of O+ pinata. Before I was fully drained, that cruel witch turned me and threw me off the castle balcony, which overlooks the cliff. I told you the rest of the story... Except for how I found my beloved. [[Continue|ballroom_9]]

I had just conquered the castle. And like a king I inspected my merchandise. When I came to the cell where she was being kept, I found her. Still alive. Still ill. Sleeping. When I saw her, I did not see one whom I called my beloved. She was not from a noble family. She had no wealth. She was not learned in the dark arts as I was. I saw nothing more than a mouse. A filthy pest in my castle. I exterminated the pest. [[Continue|ballroom_10]]

I felt nothing for her. Nor did I feel anything for the countless humans feasted on for the decades that my castle asserted itself as the dominate vampiric force over the continent. One would think, as I did then, that vampires are incapable for having empathic feelings for humans. For what is a man? Nothing but a rueful heap of hidden intents!. But something changed when my castle fell. [[Continue|ballroom_11]]

It was a mortal man who bested me and destroyed everything I had built. Revenge, of course, was my primary desire. I quickly worked to rebuild my forces. I would have a grand, overpowering vengeance, the likes of which no mortal has seen before. It was quick. But not quick enough. Vun Belmsing died of age and illness before my plan came to fruition. [[Continue|ballroom_12]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Fella, I don't know what to tell ya, but your reflection ain't there, it's not.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: Wh-what ethnicity do you see yourself as...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Bark bark! Grr. Bark!*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: I have never met a Light magic user before. What are the uses of this spell?'") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Hey everybody! I noticed this guy is different, which us *real* humans hate. Put down the disguise and show us your true self!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Serious question Bones has been dying to ask: how do you know if you have chives in your teeth? Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play with you!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|ballroom_4]]

My vengeance on the man who pushed me to my limits and defeated me is truly unrequited. I will never get the chance to see the terror in his eyes as I show him how much more powerful I have become since that day. I fear I shall not meet another mortal like him no matter how many winters I see. I feel a great admiration for him. [[Continue|ballroom_12.5]]

Suddenly, you see a key floating in the mirror above the collar of the vampire. You reach into the mirror and pull the key out. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 2nd's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Ballroom") ]}

<div class="it">{ (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "You, Cabbie, have seen that your mechanical life from the future is still a kind of life. You have empathized with all life and seen it as precious. You have especially seen babies as precious. And while I cannot give you a baby, I can award you with the next best thing: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca, you learned that mortal life is beautiful in its fleetingness. Now you are ready for the wonderful cares of raising a mortal life for its own beauty: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica, you learned to let go of the past and learn that it's O.K. to love again. You will be ready to have that baby when it is time, but for now you can practice with: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie, you learned that stress, rage, and catnip are a deadly combination. Your commitment to sobriety truly shows you are ready for the motherhood you always wanted. For that I bestow upon you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "You, Saargröf, you learned that there is no time like the present and to live life in the moment without checking out. For you I give the gift of something that will make every happy moment feel like an eternity: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy Xorbliip Normal, you learned that it is O.K. to be yourself, even if you are a little bit different. Your friends will always accept you for who you are. You are ready to both be yourself and find out what it is to be human. Therefore, I give you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin, the lesson you learned ⁎(that we had time for)⁎ is that it is O.K. to move on from the loss of your partner Bones, and that you can get back on the horse without carrying around a corpse. Since you are ready to live life to the fullest, I shall bequeath to you a new partner; one very full of life ⁎wink⁎: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "You, Draagmuth, have ⁎(probably)⁎ learned that seeing the world from a new perspective is not a bad thing. And now you have many people you look up to who you once looked down upon. To celebrate your new lease on life, I present to you another being I think you will look up to: ... A puppy! ") ] }</div> [[Continue|end_3]]

<div class="it">{ (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1)[ (print: "You, Cabbie, have seen that your mechanical life from the future is still a kind of life. You have empathized with all life and seen it as precious. You have especially seen babies as precious. And while I cannot give you a baby, I can award you with the next best thing: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca, you learned that mortal life is beautiful in its fleetingness. Now you are ready for the wonderful cares of raising a mortal life for its own beauty: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica, you learned to let go of the past and learn that it's O.K. to love again. You will be ready to have that baby when it is time, but for now you can practice with: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie, you learned that stress, rage, and catnip are a deadly combination. Your commitment to sobriety truly shows you are ready for the motherhood you always wanted. For that I bestow upon you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5)[ (print: "You, Saargröf, you learned that there is no time like the present and to live life in the moment without checking out. For you I give the gift of something that will make every happy moment feel like an eternity: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6)[ (print: "Guy Xorbliip Normal, you learned that it is O.K. to be yourself, even if you are a little bit different. Your friends will always accept you for who you are. You are ready to both be yourself and find out what it is to be human. Therefore, I give you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7)[ (print: "Fin, the lesson you learned ⁎(that we had time for)⁎ is that it is O.K. to move on from the loss of your partner Bones, and that you can get back on the horse without carrying around a corpse. Since you are ready to live life to the fullest, I shall bequeath to you a new partner; one very full of life ⁎wink⁎: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8)[ (print: "You, Draagmuth, have ⁎(probably)⁎ learned that seeing the world from a new perspective is not a bad thing. And now you have many people you look up to who you once looked down upon. To celebrate your new lease on life, I present to you another being I think you will look up to: ... A puppy! ") ] }</div> [[Continue|end_4]]

<div class="it">{ (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1)[ (print: "You, Cabbie, have seen that your mechanical life from the future is still a kind of life. You have empathized with all life and seen it as precious. You have especially seen babies as precious. And while I cannot give you a baby, I can award you with the next best thing: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca, you learned that mortal life is beautiful in its fleetingness. Now you are ready for the wonderful cares of raising a mortal life for its own beauty: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3)[ (print: "Jessica, you learned to let go of the past and learn that it's O.K. to love again. You will be ready to have that baby when it is time, but for now you can practice with: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4)[ (print: "Lattie, you learned that stress, rage, and catnip are a deadly combination. Your commitment to sobriety truly shows you are ready for the motherhood you always wanted. For that I bestow upon you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5)[ (print: "You, Saargröf, you learned that there is no time like the present and to live life in the moment without checking out. For you I give the gift of something that will make every happy moment feel like an eternity: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6)[ (print: "Guy Xorbliip Normal, you learned that it is O.K. to be yourself, even if you are a little bit different. Your friends will always accept you for who you are. You are ready to both be yourself and find out what it is to be human. Therefore, I give you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7)[ (print: "Fin, the lesson you learned ⁎(that we had time for)⁎ is that it is O.K. to move on from the loss of your partner Bones, and that you can get back on the horse without carrying around a corpse. Since you are ready to live life to the fullest, I shall bequeath to you a new partner; one very full of life ⁎wink⁎: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8)[ (print: "You, Draagmuth, have ⁎(probably)⁎ learned that seeing the world from a new perspective is not a bad thing. And now you have many people you look up to who you once looked down upon. To celebrate your new lease on life, I present to you another being I think you will look up to: ... A puppy! ") ] }</div> [[Continue|end_5]]

<div class="it">{ (print: "And finally, ") (if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "You, Cabbie, have seen that your mechanical life from the future is still a kind of life. You have empathized with all life and seen it as precious. You have especially seen babies as precious. And while I cannot give you a baby, I can award you with the next best thing: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca, you learned that mortal life is beautiful in its fleetingness. Now you are ready for the wonderful cares of raising a mortal life for its own beauty: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Jessica, you learned to let go of the past and learn that it's O.K. to love again. You will be ready to have that baby when it is time, but for now you can practice with: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Lattie, you learned that stress, rage, and catnip are a deadly combination. Your commitment to sobriety truly shows you are ready for the motherhood you always wanted. For that I bestow upon you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "You, Saargröf, you learned that there is no time like the present and to live life in the moment without checking out. For you I give the gift of something that will make every happy moment feel like an eternity: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Guy Xorbliip Normal, you learned that it is O.K. to be yourself, even if you are a little bit different. Your friends will always accept you for who you are. You are ready to both be yourself and find out what it is to be human. Therefore, I give you: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Fin, the lesson you learned ⁎(that we had time for)⁎ is that it is O.K. to move on from the loss of your partner Bones, and that you can get back on the horse without carrying around a corpse. Since you are ready to live life to the fullest, I shall bequeath to you a new partner; one very full of life ⁎wink⁎: ... A puppy! ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "You, Draagmuth, have ⁎(probably)⁎ learned that seeing the world from a new perspective is not a bad thing. And now you have many people you look up to who you once looked down upon. To celebrate your new lease on life, I present to you another being I think you will look up to: ... A puppy! ") ] }</div> [[Continue|end_6]]

<div class="it">That is the end of this adventure. I am glad you all have been enriched so. Now to return you to your world. Goodbye! ⁎*ZAPP*⁎ ... ... ... Oh, finally! Nobody on Craigslist would take those mutts. </div> THE END Restart at character select (the backstories don't change, but half the fun is playing as a different character to see what he was thinking when he said something) (click: "Restart")[ (reload:) ]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Say, buddy. Does you know a gal by the name of Sandra who is a baby now but grows up to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad? Also, what's your whole deal?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: I-I love this house, don't you? I can... imagine me cleaning it for you.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Bark bark! Bow-wow... Woof!*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: How does it do fellow empowered individual? —⨻⨱⌉⇲⨃!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Say, you look like the tallest drink of di-hydrogen monoxide here. Are you keeping it not difficult?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hey, first of all, I've got to tell you my friend Bones here is beyond white with envy for those two big teeth you have there. Rattle rattle rattle. Second, can you turn us all into bats and Get Us the Calcium Out of Here!™") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to hear what you can do!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your background: [[Continue|aluca_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Answer me! What gives you life? Are you a cursed construct or an ambivalent automaton?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Y-you look like you could make me late.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Ruff! Ruff.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "How long did you travel here?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Robot, tell me a hibernation story.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "-*raises Bone's hand*- Heyyy cabby! Can my friend and I get a ride? Or did you not bring your car to this creepy house either! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to be like you!") (print: " ") ]} He replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Wellll, mostly da latter wit a little touch a da former...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Wows, you hit da nail on da head, calling me out on the effects of my time displacement! I supposed I owes ya da whole story...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "What's that Lattie? You're asking me what a robot from the future is doing here? Well, it's like this...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "MY TRAVEL WAS SEVERAL DECADES LONG....") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "O.K. Here's one 'bout yours truly...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "So fa, this seems like a one-way trip—ya-know-what-I-mean? Just like when I drive people in my cab, it's a one-way trip to da paark. Jus like... I was dropped off in this time as a one-way trip... Let me tell you my story...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "Hey, thanks. You're a doll. But you don't really want to be like me. Let me tell ya som'n...") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|cabbie_3]]

"See, I am from da year 219X. Da lions had just won da friggin supa bowl for da friggin 20th time in a row. The yanks just traded their best pitcher in a century for some south Jersey mook who doesn't know a ball from a cannoli. And robot assassin droids like me roamed a wasteland of flattened cities looking for any remaining members of The Resisters. Now, there's nothing more that electronics like me hate more than resisters... Oh, I forgot if I mentioned before that I'm a robot. That's important. [[Continue|cabbie_4]]

Sos anyways, The Resisters. Ya, we'd clear 'em out their little hide-y holes whenever we'd find 'em. But they jus kept commin'! One day da boss comes to us and says: 'Fellas, the boys and I just cooked up a great idea, fuggetaboutit. 'We got this machine, see. It will send one of us back in time and we can ⁎*slides finger accross throat while making a knife-on-throat sound*⁎ the original founder of The Resisters before he dat thing what with the founding and the resisting.' [[Continue|cabbie_5]]

Naw naturally I says: 'Boss, that sounds like a terrific idea. Sign me up.' Boss says: 'Ay, jus so ya know: once you go back in time, ain't no coming back. You O.K. with being stuck there for good?' I says: 'Well, da way I figga, da modern world has gone in the crapper anyways—did ya hear who we traded our pitcher for?' 'Ey!!! Don't remind me! How could they be so stupid!' 'Hey, let's fuggitaboutit! Jus get me otta here!' [[Continue|cabbie_6]]

And jus like that, I was sent back in time to beautiful Ba Ba Ba Brooklyn! My language database was damaged during da trip, so I had to absorb it au natural when I got there, if ya know what I mean. Now I spend my days lookin' for Sandra who is going to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad while living the incognitas life of Cybernetic Assassian Buddy-813 the cab driver. AKA 'CAB813'. [[Continue|cabbie_7]]

Incidentistly, do yous know Sandra who is going to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad?" (if: $player's "pc" is not 1)[ You shake your head. You decide you do not want to risk hearing sports trivia from over 100 years in the future, and move on... Your affinity with Cabbie increased.](else:)[ Your partners appear shocked at the revelation of earth's future, so you decide you've said enough for now.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 1st's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Answer me! What gives you life? Are you a cursed construct or an ambivalent automaton?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: Y-you look like you could make me late.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Ruff! Ruff.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: How long did you travel here?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Robot, tell me a hibernation story.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: -*raises Bone's hand*- Heyyy cabby! Can my friend and I get a ride? Or did you not bring your car to this creepy house either! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to be like you!") (print: " ") ]} You decide it's best to reveal when you come from: [[Continue|cabbie_3]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Cabbie more about his mission. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Hm... I know what it is to look for someone to kill. Perhaps I will share some advice on making a good hunt.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>To be purpose-built for one thing seems... liberating. A few seasons ago, I watched an anime about a young man who died choking on a rice ball while being hit by a truck. He reincarnated as a giant robot alien demon who looked young for a girl who was actually 16,000 years old. In the show, he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted. But when people started following him and relying on him, he found his freedom causing himself responsibilities he never wanted. He only wanted to be a dreamer... In the end he wished to have an easy job and easy life in, say, a factory. Just punch in, work, make enough to get by—just like a robot. But have his mind free to dream... I... Want to be a dreamer with you, Cabbie...!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>Grrrr. ... Whimper.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>My fellow time wizards in the order of Time Dukes would appreciate the irony of the very ancient, the very young, and the distant to-be all gathered in this room. I will have to tell them about it in the next assembly.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Ahh... So these are the toys humans play with. I wonder if anyone has told my new toy robot, Cabbie, how much better he is than them...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>B-b-b-Bones, it's rock-paper-scissors with ghosts-humans-and-robots in here... I sure hope our robot can cut through sheets!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>The robot appears distressed. If it doesn't like toys, this may become a problem...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|nursery_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "The hunt weighs down upon you, does it not?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "I-is this a factory?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Whimper whimper*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Ah! You notice it too?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Cabbie, you are WAY cooler than these other toys. Don't even compare yourself!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Cabbie, this room's more spooky than an unlicensed cab in Tijuana! Let's make like a pine tree and leaf! -thasht nort thee rightt punnchlne- Not now Bones!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I we love you very much!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|nursery_4]]

Before a response can be given, the lights go out. When the candles relight themselves, every toy has been replaced with dolls. Except they don't look like dolls. They look like real babies. Their cries sound like real babies. They start crying and slowly crawling toward Cabbie. As they crawl their skin melts off, revealing metal and robotics. They have Cabbie surrounded. Cabbie looks like he is going to blow a gasket. The inner torment continues until: "There's a bit more to ma story that ya should know... [[Continue|nursery_5]]{ (if: $player's "pc" is 1) [ (replace: "Cabbie looks like he is going to blow a gasket.")[ You feel like you are going to blow a gasket. ] (replace: "Cabbie")[you] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: The hunt weighs down upon you, does it not?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: I-is this a factory?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Whimper whimper*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: Ah! You notice it too?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Cabbie, you are WAY cooler than these other toys. Don't even compare yourself!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Cabbie, this room's more spooky than an unlicensed cab in Tijuana! Let's make like a pine tree and leaf! -thasht nort thee rightt punnchlne- Not now Bones!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I we love you very much!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|nursery_4]]

I wasn't the first to go back. First, we sent somebody after Sandra's father, before she was born. Father worked at a factory where they make lava rock soap. My guy tries to get the jump on 'im while he's working. He runs. Bada-bing bada-boom, my guy falls into a vat of fresh lava. [[Continue|nursery_6]]

The next guy to go gets sent to when Sandra was a kid. About 15. We figured, 15: no job, no factory, and no lava equals easy job. This kid runs when she sees my guy. My guy chases him through the set of an Internet content creator's hydraulic press shoot, trips on a stage light, and the electricity fries his circuits. Bam. [[Continue|nursery_7]]

So next we say: 'Da prablem is da runnin'!' And I get sent back to now to grease her while she's a baby so she can't run or fight back. [[Continue|nursery_8]]

Well, sounds like a piece of cake operation. Except guess what wise guy, a baby girl don't look like the dame she's gonna grow up to be. Now I'm out here axing everyone I find if they know da baby Sandra who grows up to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad. I've looked at many babies... [[Continue|nursery_9]]

My programming doesn't specifically say that I don't have to kill any baby I see... [[Continue|nursery_10]]

My mission could be considered complete if I wiped out the whole lot of 'em... [[Continue|nursery_11]]

I am an assassin robot after all... [[Continue|nursery_12]]

But I just can't do it! Something about those babies... It reminds me of how I never was a baby... I don't know if I need to do a factory reset on myself or what, but I don't even think I could take out baby Sandra even if I found her..." [[Continue|nursery_13]]

Suddenly, the robot babies disappear and the room returns to how it was before. The cradle has stopped rocking. You investigate and find a key. You reach into the cradle and pull the key out. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 1st's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Nursery") ]}

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey! Bay-bee! You know a gal by the name of Sandra who grows up to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad? Furthermore, you speak-a my language?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Feeble mortal harlot! What makes you so impudent!?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Ruff ruff! Woof!*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "I will be your comfort, you sick hag!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "What happened with your life to make you this wrong!?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hey baby, where you from? Because I am ready to go anywhere but here!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want you to take me everywhere!") (print: " ") ]} She replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "N-no. I'm not sure what you mean, but here's what I put in my bio...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "O-oh, I don't know... I suppose I can tell you how it all started...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "What's that Lattie? You want to hear how a girl like me can still be single? Aww... Well, it started like this...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "I-I don't know what kind of game you are playing, but if you're asking what my dating profile says...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "W-well my therapist says I should talk about it openly, so...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "W-where am I from? Well let me tell you the whole story...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "Aww, Speaky Sophie, of course I will take you everywhere! Let me properly introduce myself first...") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|jess_3]]

"M-my name is Jessica Porter. B-but you can call me 'Jess'. I grew up at the end of a long cul-de-sac in small suburb. My father was not an empath and my mother never really got me... I had a few friends growing up. We would spend our time out of school watching movies, playing video games, and reading manga. I always hoped my candy gram from Witch Tech would come and take me away from my ordinary life... [[Continue|jess_4]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey! Bay-bee! You know a gal by the name of Sandra who grows up to marry Patrick Conrad to become Sandra Conrad? Furthermore, you speak-a my language?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Feeble mortal harlot! What makes you so impudent!?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Ruff ruff! Woof!*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: I will be your comfort, you sick hag!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: What happened with your life to make you this wrong!?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hey baby, where you from? Because I am ready to go anywhere but here!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want you to take me everywhere!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your background: [[Continue|jess_3]]

I wanted to become a writer, so I went to college for writing in hopes of getting noticed. But the only feedback I would get from my professors was, 'Good job!', 'Derivative.', or 'Points off because you missed section C of the rubric.' When I finally got my degree, I did not get the job I applied for. So, jobless and desperate, I moved back in with my parents. A few years later, I met a man on a dating app whom I thought would be the love of my life. My warrior in +2 armor. Joey... [[Continue|jess_5]]

Things were going great with Joey. He really was there. I moved into his apartment. He liked videogames, too! We didn't play the same ones, but seeing them plugged into the same TV was the most romantic thing I have ever experienced. My heart still flutters when I think about it. He wasn't against my writing dream unlike the lack of empathic support I got from my father, and we were even talking about having him propose to me! Life was perfect. Until... [[Continue|jess_6]]

Well... I don't really want to talk about that right now..." (if: $player's "pc" is not 3)[ Even you know that's woman code for "I *really* want to talk about this *right now*," you feel an intense urge to try to find a cup of coffee to wake you up from the story so far. So you decide to let it go for the time being. Your affinity with Jess increased.](else:)[ Your partners seem to be good listeners, but bad at follow up, so you decide to stop for now.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 3rd's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Jessica what happened with Joey. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Assassin Droid to Human Interrogation Protocol 'Good Cop' loading...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Hm... Perhaps the pain of her mortal nonsense will amuse me...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>Whimper whimper. Ruff!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>Perhaps it was this man 'Joey' who made her ill. I should offer to bring her back to before she met him so she tell her father to bring her a husband replete with several cows once I get my power back...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>The painting she is looking at looks like the one I made for my bias Jeri. I wonder if this means she is ready to admit he's their ace...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Ah, hip no Bones! I just KNOW that painting is going to do something creepy like grab her and pull her in! Maybe if it's to save her, she let me get away with grabbing her! Rattle rattle rattle...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>That fool is becoming entranced by the painting! I should try to force her out of the area of its power somehow...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|livingroom_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey, sweetheart. It's O.K. It's all going to be all right, see? If you just confess, you won't be sent to the torture mines.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Reveal to me the moment your heart was wretched by the greatest despair a pitiful mortal like you will ever experience!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Grrr RAWR... Grr...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Wouldst thou like to have a cow, ma'am?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "So do you finally understand what man you should *truly* be with?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Serious question Bones has been dying to ask: how do you know if you have chives in your teeth? Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play with you!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|livingroom_4]]

Before a reply can be given, the painting starts to change. The brownish gray blob starts to grow and form. Stalks from the middle and bottom form. Then a top round part. The stalks grow fingers and toes. On the top part, eyes open. With a sound that feels like it can shatter ear drums, the painting cries, "Mama! Mama!" Jessica holds her hand to her mouth in shock. She looks like she is on the verge of a meltdown. The tension continues until: "I haven't told you everything about Joey and I... [[Continue|livingroom_5]]{ (if: $player's "pc" is 3) [ (replace: "Jessica holds her hand to her mouth in shock. She looks like she is on the verge of a meltdown.")[ You hold your hand to her mouth in shock. You feel like you are on the verge of a meltdown. ] ]}

It was on our 5-year anniversary of meeting in person for the first time that Joey, his buddies, and I were at Beer Wings Sports Beer having a wonderful dinner as a couple. One of his friends whose brother had just gotten married was talking to Joey about some of the tax and insurance benefits of getting married. My heart stopped. Could this be the moment? Then Joey put his drink down and leaned near me and said those magical words I will never forget: 'Hey, babe. Wouldn't it be funny if *we* got married?' Then he picked back up his drink and laughed like the beautiful song of a mockingbird. I melted right there. Later that night, I called my mother to tell her about my engagement. She said it wouldn't last... Unfortunately, she was right... [[Continue|livingroom_6]]

Two years into our engagement bliss, I was musing with Joey about our future life. I said I wanted to name our first child after a character from the book I'm writing. After reminding him that I am trying to be a writer but have been too busy keeping up with running the apartment, he paused his game of Pickleball World Cup 2kMM, took off his headphones, and said to me: 'I'm not ready for kids. Maybe if you want to have kids you should go find someone else.' My heart was literally broken into ten thousand pieces. As he helped me pack my things, I begged him, with tears in my eyes to give me another chance. But he said when he looks at me now, he only sees 'that girl who wants kids'. [[Continue|livingroom_7]]

This painting... This is the child I have seen in my dreams... My child...! I can still remember the name I was going to give him: Loosebrick Behindthe Fireplace Such a manly name..." [[Continue|livingroom_8]]

The painting stops crying and fades back to being in its original state: a four quadrant depiction of two trees. One standing tall, then one growing to the right of it, then both at equal height, and in the final section the second one has fallen. You look behind the fireplace and find a loose brick. Behind the brick is a key. You reach in and grab the key. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 3rd's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Living Room") ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey, sweetheart. It's O.K. It's all going to be all right, see? If you just confess, you won't be sent to the torture mines.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Reveal to me the moment your heart was wretched by the greatest despair a pitiful mortal like you will ever experience!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Grrr RAWR... Grr...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: Wouldst thou like to have a cow, ma'am?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: So do you finally understand what man you should *truly* be with?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Serious question Bones has been dying to ask: how do you know if you have chives in your teeth? Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play with you!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|livingroom_4]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Ey, girl! Who's good?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Show me the fury of beastly retribution! Or are you afraid of these claws and fangs?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Don't worry! I am not a badger!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Noble beast! By the teeth of your ancestors, I implore you to join me in my mission to leave this cursed place!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Madam! I prostrate myself before you in the humblest of greetings! Please do me the honor of allowing me to accompany you on your journey through the house!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "G-g-g-good doggie! Nice doggie! See? Bones is a friend. Oh geeze, Bones, I've never been more scared for you than now and that one other time. -yur meen thr tim wirth thr guy hoo mrderd mr wrth rn rx- Yes, of course that time! Also, shh! It's not our turn to tell our story.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play Follow the Leader!") (print: " ") ]} She replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Ror rwar... Roo?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Ruh-uh!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Bark bark! Bark bark bark bark bark.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Bark. ... Aroo?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "*Pant pant pant*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "*Pant pant pant pant.* *Swallow saliva.*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "*Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff.*") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|lattie_3]]

Ruff ruff bark bark. Ruff ruff ruff bark! {(if: $player's "pc" is not 4)[ (print: "You say:") ](else:)[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is $player's "partners"'s 1st)[ (print: _char's "nickname" + " says:") ] ] ]} What's that Lattie? You say your parents were both prized show dogs and you were clearly the most talented one of your litter, so you were sent away for years to a show dog training camp where they made you do obstacle courses and backflip drills late into the night until your paws were raw and bleeding all while alley cats watched you from the window and made fun of your efforts while you only dreamed of going back to a farm and starting a family? [[Continue|lattie_4]]

Bow-wow ruff bark! Grr... Woof woof rawr! {(if: $player's "pc" is not 4)[ (print: "You say:") ](else:)[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is $player's "partners"'s 2nd)[ (print: _char's "nickname" + " says:") ] ] ]} Oh yeah, girl? You go on to say that then when your training was complete you were taken across the country and europe in a small box in a van to compete in shows while never getting a chance to run around freely like you did at the farm and they often put your box next to cats that smelled bad and tried to claw you through the bars and one time the latch was unlocked while they were moving animals in and out of the van and you escaped and spent weeks trying to find your way home while traveling through scenic vistas like the Rocky Mountains, Yellowstone National Park, and the Redwood Forest along with another dog and a cat who you did not like at first but got along with after a long crazy catnip-fueled night but then you finally made it home and instead of being glad you were back your owner was mad and your parents were ashamed and they called for the van to come pick you up again? [[Continue|lattie_5]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Ey, girl! Who's good?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Show me the fury of beastly retribution! Or are you afraid of these claws and fangs?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: Don't worry! I am not a badger!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: Noble beast! By the teeth of your ancestors, I implore you to join me in my mission to leave this cursed place") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Robot: Madam! I prostrate myself before you in the humblest of greetings! Please do me the honor of allowing me to accompany you on your journey through the house!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: G-g-g-good doggie! Nice doggie! See? Bones is a friend. Oh, geeze Bones, I've never been more scared for you than now and that one other time. -yur meen thr tim wirth thr guy hoo mrderd mee wrth ann axx- Yes, of course that time! Also, shh! It's not our turn to tell our story.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play Follow the Leader!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your story: [[Continue|lattie_3]]

*Whimper* Grrr! Bark bark bark bark ruff! Woof woof bow-wow. {(if: $player's "pc" is not 4)[ (print: "You say:") ](else:)[ (for: each _char, ...$character)[ (if: _char's "id" is $player's "partners"'s 3rd)[ (print: _char's "nickname" + " says:") ] ] ]} Is that right, Lattie? You spent the rest of your life so far traveling to different dog shows always trying to be Best in Show in the hopes that someday you can make your owner and parents proud enough to let you back home so you can enjoy the life you love on the farm and also you don't want to talk about this any more right now? [[Continue|lattie_6]]

*Whimper*... (if: $player's "pc" is not 4)[ You decide not to tease the dog with more questions... Your affinity with Lattie increased.](else:)[ You do not want to say any more right now...] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 4th's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Lattie what's wrong girl. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Erratic behavior detected. Loading dog behavior libraries... ... ... Dog behavior libraries loaded. Beginning analysis... ... ... Analysis complete. Analysis results: >inconclusive Recommended action: >attempt to communicate with dog to determine reason for erratic behavior</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Does this beast smell something my senses do not? I must find out what smells so interesting!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>What could possibly have this dog so interested in a smell? I remember at the comic convention last year there were some smells that made my hair stand on end! Ha ha ha! My friends are right: I am so funny. I should be the comedian of this group.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>I know when a beast is readying for a battle. I must pause time to prepare myself. ... ⁎...Eight days later...⁎ Now that the end of my staff is thoroughly sharpened, I am ready...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Something concerns the madame! I must throw myself in front of the danger, lest miss this precious chance to advance our kind's relations with the dogs!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Bones, this dog looks like she's going to go mad! I may need to borrow your femur to calm her down—no humorous!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>My domination powers are still impotent... I must find another way to calm her down...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|nook_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey, girl! Whasamadda you?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Take me to the source of this smell at once!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Lattie, do you want to hear literally the funniest thing you have ever heard?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "By the power of Leoridus Jankonias, charge!!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Stand back m'lady! I will protect you from this window!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hey girl... I'd give arm and.—actually just a leg—if you would just calm down!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I like naps!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|nook_4]]

Before a response can be spoken, the yard outside the window begins to ungulate. Slowly the green grass is transformed into a sea of cats and blood. Big cats. Small cats. Some as big as your head. Kittens. This hellish lake of mangled felines pouring out blood is made all the worse by the horrid sound of the death rattle of a thousand shrieking tabbies. Suddenly you recognize the smell: catnip. Lattie looks restless. No. More than restless. In mortal turmoil. The tension builds until: "What's that Lattie, there's more to your life than you said before?... [[Continue|nook_5]]{ (if: $player's "pc" is 4) [ (replace: "Lattie looks restless.")[ You feel restless. ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey, girl! Whasamadda you?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Take me to the source of this smell at once!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: Lattie, do you want to hear literally the funniest thing you have ever heard?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: By the power of Leoridus Jankonias, charge!!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Stand back m'lady! I will protect you from this window!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hey girl... I'd give arm and.—actually just a leg—if you would just calm down!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I like naps!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|nook_4]]

You're saying that night in the mountains was your first time with catnip but it wouldn't be your last and when you went back to being in shows you started taking more to alleviate the pressure but you got addicted and the side effects made you irritable and you bit a few cats and a human? [[Continue|nook_6]]

And you also say that you were favored to win Best in Show at the biggest world event for show dogs, the Dog and Cat Tandem Event, for the first time but the committee decided that you needed to be spayed to control your aggression or else you wouldn't be allowed in the show so your owner and managers had to decide between having a breeding dog who never won BiS at the DaCTE and a dog that was a winner but couldn't be used for breeding but to you it was a choice of being a disappointing loser to everyone you knew or giving up on your dreams of starting a family but the choice wasn't up to you and your owners chose to keep you in the competition? [[Continue|nook_7]]

Furthermore, you say that when the day of the event finally came, the pressure and stress were getting to you so you grabbed some catnip that you had smuggled in but you used at least twice as much as you had ever used before and you blacked out and when you had regained consciousness you had attacked 72 cats, killing most of them, and then you were put in an animal shelter but your owner never came back for you so you were adopted out to a small farm where you are kept outside, eat your new owner's food scraps, and are only used for security and every day you continued to lament the mistakes of the past and the permanent damage that has been done to your body and your dreams which is no way to live and you have even cursed your pedigree for the life it has given you but now you are accepting that it's not the pedigree's fault and you are responsible for the choices that you made and you are now ready to forgive yourself and live life to the fullest whatever form that takes?" [[Continue|nook_8]]

Just then, the yard goes quiet as it turns back to grass. The room smells like cinnamon. You notice between the jars on the table labeled "Tea" and "Sugar", there is one labeled "Key". Behind it is a key! You grab the key. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 4th's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Breakfast Nook") ]}

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "EXCUSE ME SIR. DO YOU KNOW SANDRA? SHE GROWS UP TO MARRY PATRICK CONRAD. C-O-N-R-A-D. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU AHH?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Try something if you dare, Time Wizard! You'll find my immortal fangs will be more than you can deal with! ⁎*SNARL*⁎") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "A-are you ready for a luau?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Rawr rawr ruff! *Pant pant pant.*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "⁎*pfft pfft*⁎ Wher-where did you ⁎*snort snort*⁎ get those markings ⁎*snrt-snrt-snrt-snrt*⁎ ALL OVER YOUR FACE! ⁎*PFFT PFFT PFFT FFFFFFFFF*⁎") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hey, mister wizard sir, can you zap us up a couple of cocktails? -yru crn hrve thr tairl, i jst wrnt tr hrve thr arthr thrng brck agrn- Bones! Keep it in your...to your...self!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play Red Light Green Light!") (print: " ") ]} He replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "It is clear none of us know this dwelling. Like you, I come from a different time...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Careless beast! If you wanted to attack me, you should have done it without warning. I just spent 7 months studying weaknesses of your kind between your threat and now. You are no longer a danger to me now that I keep this perforated Crossword puzzle close to me at the ready. For the rest of you who may have never seen my kind before...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Old maid, I can assure I am ready for anything. Bring me to this 'luau' creature and I will best it. Let me tell you about the man who stands before you...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "What's that Lattie? I smell like your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather? Well, there's an explanation for that...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "I am surprised that you can see them. We say that only those who already know how to read the mystical rune language can see them, but I do not sense you have ever traveled through the 5th dimension... I would like for us to share stories so I may come to a better understanding of your power...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Petrifaction from a cockatrice is unlike other poisons. A venom bite on the arm means I only have to stop time on the arm before my heart can pump it further. But the petrifying bite of a cockatrice spreads straight through your aura, affecting your entire body near-instantly. This is why I prefer to avoid battles with them. But, yes, lightning magic is just as effective as any other against them. If you are wondering how I became so knowledgeable...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I see now... You are saying you are a creature from that terrible √-1 st dimension. The one with the 'red light' known as the Red Dimension or, locally, by another name... And you expected to see the 'light' of this world in a powerful form natural to this world using 'green' magic. But it looks like something made your spirit weak and you were imprisoned in this doll. Your kind is ignorant of many things. Let me enlighten you about myself...") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|saarg_3]]

"I am ⨝⨖⨴⨻⨀⨅⨡⩕. In your tongue, my name and given epithet is: Saargröf, Divining Destroyer. I am a time wizard of a certain ancient order of time wizards. We are members of the three wizard alliance who watch over and protect the six dimensions: wizards of time, wizards of the natural order, and wizards of law and order, known as Kronologistics Kinaesthetics & Keynesistics. In this society, I have also been given the title of Grand. [[Continue|saarg_4]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: EXCUSE ME SIR. DO YOU KNOW SANDRA? SHE GROWS UP TO MARRY PATRICK CONRAD. C-O-N-R-A-D. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU AHH?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Try something if you dare, Time Wizard! You'll find my immortal fangs will be more than you can deal with! *SNARL*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: A-are you ready for a luau?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Rawr rawr ruff! *Pant pant pant.*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: *pfft pfft* Wher-where did you *snort snort* get those markings *snrt-snrt-snrt-snrt* ALL OVER YOUR FACE! *PFFT PFFT PFFT FFFFFFFFF*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hey, mister wizard sir, can you zap us up a couple of cocktails? -yru crn hrve thr tairl, i jst wrnt tr hrve thr arthr thrng brck agrn- Bones! Keep it in your...to your...self!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to play Red Light Green Light!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your background: [[Continue|saarg_3]]

I recall not when nor where I am from, and I know not when nor were our order was founded. I can tell you that we meet every third Tuesday of the month for waffles in the basement of the Albuquerque YMCA at 3pm. No one is ever late... [[Continue|saarg_5]]

The primary goal of our order is to defend against the forbidden, lower form of time traversal. Our superior 5th dimensional travel keeps us outside of the 4 dimensions avoiding time loops that can end an entire 3-dimensional universe like your Rolling Pin. You may have noticed my eyes. They have been grafted from a creature who sees the five dimensions at once. With them and my power, I freely move in and out of the 5th dimension like a second home. [[Continue|saarg_6]]

Though in this house prison, I am able to move aside but not forward or backward..." (if: $player's "pc" is not 5)[ You feel he probably could have stopped at "time wizard" and decide to not continue the conversation. Your affinity with Saargröf increased.](else:)[ Your party must now realize the importance of your mission and are in reverent silence.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 5th's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask the wizard what's it this time. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Analysis: >Blind old man appears to be experience cognitive decline and is confused by unknown silvery-white scaly creature head. Processing... Solution: >Inform man of object to reassure him.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Something troubles the wizard about this creature... Perhaps I should let him know that our party is safe from such beasts with me around...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>Wow... I feel so relieved to find out there are people like him around...! I have been afraid of falling victim of a time loop ever since I was a kid and watched the classic time loop psychological comedy, Saint Patrick's Day. In the movie, the titular character Patrick was cursed by a leprechaun who woke up that morning and didn't see his rainbow to lead to his pot of gold. They were finally able to escape after countless days? weeks? months? because they learned that the real gold was the friends they made along the way. I really hope this hot guy sees me as gold; I don't want to fall for another one who chases rainbows...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>*Sniff sniff.* Bark?!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Woah, that's a weird-looking duck Old Man Funnyface is looking at! I didn't think they got this big in this arm...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>Aieee! Why is that wizard looking at that scary dragon! -rf hrs grnna brk ort ar sprrl tr rars thr derd, i hrve srmthrng fr yur tr arsk hrm- Something like what, Bones...?</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>Many of these beasts are from my dimension. The wizard must know that some of these can curse to the touch even after death...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|trophy_3]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: YOU AHH LOOKING AT A SNAPPAH.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: If you want my head, you would need an army of a thousand beasts like this, wizard!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: A-are you a leprechan chasing gold?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Pant pant pant.* Ruff ruff!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Hey, are you looking at that duc—*PFFFT PFFT PFFF* I'm sorry. *PFFFT* I just can't.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: M-m-m-mister wizard sir. Please don't tell me you're going to do anything crazy with that dragon. I don't want to be scorched to the bone and he doesn't need the tan! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want a hug!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|trophy_4]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "YOU AHH LOOKING AT A SNAPPAH.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "If you want my head, you would need an army of a thousand beasts like this, wizard!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "A-are you a leprechaun chasing gold?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Pant pant pant.* Ruff ruff!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Hey, are you looking at that duc—⁎*PFFFT PFFT PFFF*⁎ I'm sorry. ⁎*PFFFT*⁎ I just can't.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "M-m-m-mister wizard sir. Please don't tell me you're going to do anything crazy with that dragon. I don't want to be scorched to the bone and he doesn't need the tan! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want a hug!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|trophy_4]]

Before a reply can be made, the beast's skin falls off the mount. You watch as the fabric of mount unravels into a single ball of thread. You see the metal wire skeleton disconnect, melt, form into a solid bar, melt again, then form into a rough metallic stone. Where the metal skeleton was, a proper skeleton appears. Then muscles on the skeleton. Then sinews form and reach from the muscles down to skin on the floor, pulling it back up and wrapping it perfectly around the new mount. The marbles fall out of the creatures eye holes and they shut. They open again to reveal real eyes that appear to look straight at you, then at the wizard. Then the head begins to move. And speak: "We meet again, my pupil... [[Continue|trophy_5]]{ (if: $player's "pc" is 5) [ (replace: ", then at the wizard")[ (print: "") ] ]}

Is this house the new place you have been hiding? And you brought friends...?! No... That's not you... You must be trapped here, like me! *Chra-h chra-h chra-h chra-h!* Do any of you know the kind of man this wizard is!? I'm sure he only told you about his ~noble~ crusade against the forbidden magics, but did he tell you about before that? Allow me to enlighten you... [[Continue|trophy_6]]

The greatest potential for a time wizard can be found in one with a bit of magic potential and a deep longing to change a regret of the past. These are who I sought out to become my students... I had never met a human with as much magical potential as him before... And I have yet to meet anyone more obsessed with changing the past... [[Continue|trophy_7]]

I offered him a deal: Become my student, and together we will reverse all the wrongs of this universe! [[Continue|trophy_8]]

'Is it possible to even bring back the dead?' 'All decay will be undone.' Then our deal was set. [[Continue|trophy_9]]

We started our training of the forbidden magics small, never venturing outside of the universe to avoid detection from that vile organization that kicked me—a founding member!—out! We reverted wheat flour back to wheat flower, wood ash back to Ash wood, and fish back to fish, gradually working with larger, more complex systems. I gave him the power of Rune Magic to amplify his abilities. Finally he was ready for his mission... [[Continue|trophy_10]]

For my plan to work, I needed the Time Dukes out of the picture. Permanently. [[Continue|trophy_11]]

They used to meet in a very peaceful universe known as The Stalk. They would never let *me* back in, but if approached by this magical prodigy, they would let down their guard out of FOMO of his talent... I sent him through a 4th dimensional portal to the very stairs of their headquarters, and the trap was set. [[Continue|trophy_12]]

I wish I could have been there to see the looks on their faces as the cells of their skin turned to dust, their auras retreated from them, and the whole universe crumbled back into rubble around them in a glorious chain reaction of atomic reversal! [[Continue|trophy_13]]

When he returned to my universe, he simply said, 'I have done what you asked. Now hold up your end of the bargain.' 'Of course. You wanted to bring a person back from the dead?' In front of me he put down a wholly alloyed jar filled with ash then dumped out a bag of human bones. 'Two, then?' 'Yes. My brother Alfo and our mother.' 'Very well. Let's work on this together...' [[Continue|trophy_14]]

Once we were done bringing old life back into old death, I said: 'Oh... There's one thing I forgot to tell you. 'The human soul is a little... different from the creatures you have been reverting so far. 'I am not sure why, but they have the funny quirk of never coming back to the body once they have left. 'But I shouldn't get in the way of this happy family reunion! 'I am off to do what you did to The Stalk to the other universes! 'Class dismissed!' [[Continue|trophy_15]]

*Chra-h chra-h chra-h!* Tell me, Saargröf! Did you take out those ghouls right then and there or keep them in a cellar and feed them until their blood dried up! *Chra-h chra-h chra-h!* *Chra-h chra-h chra-h! Chra-h chra-h chra-h! Chra-h chra-h chra-h* ..." [[Continue|trophy_16]]

The cackling laughter fades away as the creature appears to revert back into a stuffed version of himself. "Teacher... "It looks like twice now I didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye. "If we meet again, I'll be sure to tell you I took to heart your most valuable lesson... "I no longer live in the past." [[Continue|trophy_17]]

You nearly trip on something metal. Oh, it's a key! It was just on the floor the whole time!? You reach down and pick up the key. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 5th's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Trophy Room") ]}

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Blue jays suck!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Melaarg, with his eyes upon us! Psst Fsst, at her coronation!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "D-do you have butterflies in your stomach?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Sniff sniff sniff sniff* Achoo! *Sniff sniff sniff sniff* Achoo!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "What is it that you do when the moon rises and all activities are hidden under the cloak of darkness? Speak!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hey buddy, is there sun where you're from? Because you're looking even paler than Bones over here! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to be with you until the end!") (print: " ") ]} He replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Wow! You even do verbal attacks! We have to be friends! Let me tell you about myself...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Galthar, the night it fell! Druina, as she brought hope...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "What is that some kind of bird? We don't have \"butterflies\" where I'm from...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "What is that you say madame? You say my scent is quite the novelty? Allow me to explain...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "I do normal night things at night. Just like anybody else—but more normal. Let me transmit to you the whole story...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "What? Of course n- I mean, yes. There is the one singular star near our planet we call The Sun where I am from. Allow me to abduct your attention for my story...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "... ... Is this either of you two's toy? I think its teleporter is malfunctioning. Anyways, my two party members, let me tell you who I am...") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|guy_3]]

"My name is Guy Xorbliip Normal. Nothing unusual about that. Humans just call me 'Guy'. A common thing. I was hatc—haaa having a great time when I was *born* on the far away plan—aaaaace. Place. Park Place. The far away Park Place in the city of Cleveland. Nothing unusual comes out of Ohio. [[Continue|guy_4]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Blue jays suck!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Melaarg, with his eyes upon us! Psst Fsst, at her coronation!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: D-do you have butterflies in your stomach?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Sniff sniff sniff sniff* Achoo! *Sniff sniff sniff sniff* Achoo!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: What is it that you do when the moon rises and all activities are hidden under the cloak of darkness? Speak!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hey buddy, is there sun where you're from? Because you're looking even paler than Bones over here! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want to be with you until the end!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your background: [[Continue|guy_3]]

There I lived a very normal life with myyyy *mfrsfrthmmtrssffcrrythonedrm* —TWO parents. We lived in an average sized... *mmwasitmmmadeofwoodmm* —HOUSE. Their currency acquisition was also middling. When I was of maturity, I piloted a land cruising hydrocarbon vessel. This was useful to me in my endeavors to date many humannn... ... Yeah, I'm totally blanking on what the other kind of human is called. Let's just move on. I attended a large educational institution where I acquired a lot of debt. I used my debt to get a job at a local hot bean juice shop where I communicate with other humans regularly. Although I do *not* communicate with my co-worker Allie anymore after she said that K-Pop music sucks. I don't care that it was the day after she broke up with her boyfriend of two solar cycles Jaden, it is not cool to be an anti to all K-Pop in front of me like that! [[Continue|guy_5]]

So... Yeah. In conclusion: Very normal." (if: $player's "pc" is not 6)[ Obviously he's lying about his life. There hasn't been a middle income since 1971. But you decide to let it go for now. Your affinity with Guy increased!](else:)[ Your partners look like they bought it... Suckers.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 6th's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Guy what more about his life. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Droid-Canadian Conversation Topics library loading...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>He looks as one who searches for something familiar. Perhaps this place reminds him of his homeland... I will remind him in his native tongue that we have no time for these delays.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>It is so refreshing to meet a normal guy like this. I have been dealing with a lot of train wrecks lately... Last month, my friends were working, so I went to the theater by myself for the midnight premiere of Admiral Mexico 7: Parallel Universe War Rising. In the lobby, some random guy comes up to me, hands me my phone, and says, 'Excuse me, I think you dropped this.' Then he points at my shirt and says, 'You watch Buy a Petite Donkey: Acquaintanceship is Marketable too? I love that show.' What else could I say but, 'Thanks. I actually got to go.' First of all a) duh, everydonkey loves that show, b) it's rude to point, and c) don't touch my phone. Creep! I stayed at my aunt's house that night in case he followed me...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>... Rrrr rawr!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>This bean juicery vocation must work him so hard as to not even be afforded a step outside. I will inquire if he is acclimating to the fresh air.</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "<div class='fin'>I knew it! This dude is an alien, he's contacted the mother ship, and he's coordinating a landing zone. I know you don't care if they abduct us, but I'm the one who will have to walk us to work the next day!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>My mutton looks like he's about to get lost. I had better herd him back...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|court_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey, so the raptors are doing all right.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "The Mammoth, getting over The Tower of Rougelik.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "W-where has someone like you been?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Bark. ... Rrrrr.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Can you breathe in the air? Can you feel with your skin?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Say, if you're about to get picked up by your people, Bones here wanted to know if he could keep your skin suit! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie. Let's play Pat-a-Cake!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|court_4]]

"If this is a courtyard... Where are the basketball hoops? "Unless...!" {(if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Your ") ](else:)[ (print: "Guy's ") ]}eyes dart back-and-forth at each party member with suspicion. "This must be the other kind of courtyard! "The kind where you put me on trial! Interrogate me! Court me! Probe me! And torture me! "Do you think any of that will scare me into talking?! "... "O.K., I'll talk... [[Continue|court_5]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey, so the raptors are doing all right.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: The Mammoth, climbing The Tower of Rougelik.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: W-where has someone like you been?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Bark. ... Rrrrr.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: Can you breathe in the air? Can you feel with your skin?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Say, if you're about to get picked up by your people, Bones here wanted to know if he could keep your skin suit! Rattle rattle rattle.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie. Let's play Pat-a-Cake!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|court_4]]

I am not really a human. I am from another galaxy entirely. And I didn't grow up in aaaaahhh...—that wooden box thing with the triangle top. I was raised to be a soldier. [[Continue|court_6]]

Many of us live only to serve the regime. There is always an expansion happening, making it an intense life. But if you rank up enough, the benefits are good. [[Continue|court_7]]

My lifetime of training finally paid off and I was put in line for the frontal assault of the Helio invasion. [[Continue|court_8]]

The planet's defenses were great, and the Helio's surface-to-space weapons destroyed most of the fleet before they even hit the atmosphere. My ship was one of the lucky ones to make it through and land, and we flooded from there onto the surface. [[Continue|court_9]]

On the ground, there must have been thousands of superb enemy troopers! ... Hundreds! ... A-a team! ... Or... actually, I think it was just one *really* capable guy. [[Continue|court_10]]

I watched as Helio Guy popped down my squad one-by-one like some kind of killtacular fireworks show. [[Continue|court_11]]

But instead of just standing there waiting for him to come for me, I snuck around into the building with the central computer. To my surprise, the computer itself took a visible hologram form, told me its name was Ceery, and awaited my voice command. [[Continue|court_12]]

'Ceery, tell me what I need to know!' 'O.K. Retrieving that information now... 'Alright, here is what I found: 'You are not supposed to be here. 'Not because this area is restricted, but because the rest of your kind is waiting in loose formation outside to engage with the Super Sprayin' soldier. 'You don't fit in. 'But you don't need me to tell you that. You know that you have never fit in. 'This life as a soldier. Your so-called friends. The regime. 'None of it feels like a place you belong. 'You keep trying to deny or push back the feelings, but it just won't go away. 'You need to confront those facts or you will go on living as a failure of a soldier instead of chasing the success you could have somewhere else. 'Does that answer your question?' [[Continue|court_13]]

I said yes, I needed to know that, then rated the response a 5 out of 5. After that, I couldn't continue with my mission. I left the computer, got back on the ship, and flew back to the regime alone, a failure. They don't discharge those who were bred for the system, but as punishment they demoted me and put me on a long-term reconnaissance mission to some underdeveloped, backwater planet in the 'spoiled milk' galaxy. Ohhhh... ahhhhh. And then I said, 'No way. Don't put me there. I want to go to Earth. That place is cool.' ⁎*whew*⁎ Saved it." [[Continue|court_14]]

Just then, a basketball rolls on the ground to Guy's feet.{(if: $player's "pc" is 6)[(replace: "Guy's")[(print: "your")]]} He picks it up and throws an all-net 3 into a hoop that had also suddenly appeared.{(if: $player's "pc" is 6)[(replace: "He picks it up and throws")[(print: "You pick it up and throw")]]} The ref blows the whistle then gives Guy a key.{(if: $player's "pc" is 6)[(replace: "Guy a")[(print: "you a")]]} What, you didn't know there was a referee there this whole time? Well, look that way. Now look back. Guess what he's gone. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 6th's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Courtyard") ]}

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey, fella! So what, you think you're better than me?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "For intolerable ignorance, you shall pay!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "D-does your friend watch balls with anyone?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Rrr rrr rowr rowr rowr ruff bark! Rrr bark bark bark! Woof woof woof wooof! Arooooooooooo! Arrr arrr! Rarrr rarrr! Rrrrrrr...!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Have you spent time in the fungi universe?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Boooo! I can see your face flaps moving! Booo!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want us all to be friends!") (print: " ") ]} He replies: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "-drt trry rnrtng frnny wrth mry frnd. ir grt a rght hrk thrt wrll srnd yr brk tr thr frtrr- You better listen to what he says! I've seen him do it before...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Yeah, see, I left my doubloons in my other satchel, so we'll have to take a rain check on that payment...! How about for now I just amuse you with an interesting story about me...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Uhhhh... O.K.... Ahhhh... Yeah, yeah, like on the basket ball court. We watch balls all the time to make sure one doesn't fly up and smack Bones like a pestle and turn him into broth! Rattle rattle rattle. Let me tell you about how I've been watching his back for years...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "I am not even going to dignify that with an answer. Let me tell you about what this man and I have been through...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Me? No I never touch drugs. Unlike Bones. Look at the top of his skull here: clear signs of crack! Rattle rattle rattle. But seriously, we have different ideas about entertainment...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Hold on, I'm confused. Are you the ghost character? But seriously, let me flap you a story that will make your teeth chatter...") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "-thrks srphrr. ir hrv ar nrrce rbrt yr srz. shrs ar rrl rnkrl brtrr!-") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|fin_3]]

"We're the world famous comedy duo Fin and Bones! You may have seen us on TV. -rr thr rntrnrt- Or live in Vegas baby~! ... That's the Honduras Las Vegas. -rr thr psrych wrd- Would you let me tell the story, Bones! [[Continue|fin_4]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey, fella! So what, you think you're better than me?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: For intolerable ignorance, you shall pay!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: D-does your friend watch balls with anyone?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Rrr rrr rowr rowr rowr ruff bark! Rrr bark bark bark! Woof woof woof wooof! Arooooooooooo! Arrr arrr! Rarrr rarrr! Rrrrrrr...!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: Have you spent time in the fungi universe?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Boooo! I can see your face flaps moving! Booo!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie, and I want us all to be friends!") (print: " ") ]} You decide to explain your background: [[Continue|fin_3]]

... I'm going to save the rest for part two. All of you get a part two; I'm going to get a part two." (if: $player's "pc" is not 6)[ Oh, no. He thinks his friend is still alive. Do we even have enough time in this game for the kind of therapy this is going to need? Your affinity with Fin and Bones! increased!](else:)[ Your partners appear silent in anticipation for the sequel.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 7th's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

So if don't know us, but Bones here looks a little familiar, it's because, yes, his father is the legendary comedian Bone Daddy. But sadly, Bones he was a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to comedic talent. Not being able live up to his father's hilarious expectations—which is to say, expectations of hilarity—, he packed up all his things into a few small suit cases, and traded his ebike in for van. That's when he met me. [[Continue|fin_5]]

He told me that my cardboard sign that said 'ANYWHERE BUT HERE' was exactly the kind of attitude he needed for his new business venture. He said: 'With my un-funniness and your natural curiosity about life, we could become the world's greatest traveling cold-case detectives!' I thought he was crazy. -hry- Oh sorry! We don't say crazy. We say excitable. ... [[Continue|fin_6]]

Bones said the easiest way to get clues was to investigate a town's local psychiatric ward. We didn't want anyone to get suspicious of why were were always traveling in a van to asylums, so we came up with our business's name and painted it right on the side of our van: "psychotic". Sure we had the occasional metal fan stop us to ask where we were playing that night, but otherwise the plan went perfectly. We solved over 931 cold-cases this way. That's why if you go to just about any psych ward in the country, they'll know who we are. [[Continue|fin_7]]

(if: $player's "pc" is not 8)[ Awww. What a cute doll. You feel totally comfortable letting your guard down around her now. You no longer mind how she never moves yet somehow appears in every room. Your affinity with Speaky Sophie increased.](else:)[ You sense their defensive will against you has lowered.] { (print: "Continue") (click: "Continue")[ (set: $dontfoot to false) (set: $character's 8th's "affinity" to 1) (for: each _room, ...$rooms)[ (if: _room's "id" is $player's "current room ID")[ (go-to: _room's "name") ] ] ]}

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to ask Fin how they ended up back in comedy. You think: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "<div class='cabbie'>Analysis of new organic droid's elimination strategy complete... Findings: >humans of this era claiming to be attacked by endless waves of robots from the future are put in mental institutions >assassin uses clever subterfuge to enter mental institutions >the chances of successful target location increase with time and number of institutions visited >target will not be able to run due to incarcerative restraints Conclusion: >estimate 99.7% mission success rate >near flawless plan</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "<div class='draluca'>Hm... If I use necromancy to turn his friend into a skeletal knight who will do his bidding, would he appreciate my grace bow down to me as a king?!</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "<div class='jessica'>Finally someone is turning on a TV! I wonder... since I've never heard Fin trying to be funny, were the comedy tours another cover for solving crimes like the 'psychotic' van? I'm still disappointed about the skeleton not being alive... Maybe some channel is playing that movie right now...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "<div class='lattie'>Bark awrr...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "<div class='saarg'>This device looks like a trap! 4 days later: There. Now my magical defenses against lightning are fully charged...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "<div class='guy'>Is pretending your dead are alive and bringing them around a normal thing in human culture? Maybe the information box, which has thus far educated me on the realities of this planet, will tell me more...</div>") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "<div class='sophie'>My plan for this one might go smoother if I can simply convince him to part with the body...</div>") (print: " ") ] }[[Continue|rumpus_3]]

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "I gotta say, I'm thinking about it and I really like this plan of yars so fa!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "Do any of your enemies use Radiant magic?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "Check to see if it's plugged in.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "*Yawn*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "Stop! Don't waste your life in front of that object!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "I want to watch reality TV!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "I'm Speaky Sophie. Let's all make new friends!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|rumpus_4]]

Before a reply can be given, the TV turns on. The sound of static startles you. Fin tries to change the channel or decrease the volume, but neither work.{(if: $player's "pc" is 7)[(replace: "Fin tries")[(print: "You try")]]} Next the TV is unplugged, But it remains on. Then an image appears. It appears to be footage of a news report: "You may have heard of the comedy team Fin and Bones!, and, if you haven't, you certainly have heard of Bones's legendary father, Bone Daddy. "But it wasn't always tours and laugh tracks for this duo. And the bone-chilling behind the scenes tension eventually erupted in tragedy. "I'm here with frontman Bones for his side of the story: [[Continue|rumpus_5]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: I gotta say, I'm thinking about it and I really like this plan of yars so fa!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: Do any of your enemies use Radiant magic?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jess: Check to see if it's plugged in.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: *Yawn*") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf: Stop! Don't waste your life in front of that object!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: I want to watch reality TV!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 8 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 8)[ (print: "Speaky Sophie: I'm Speaky Sophie. Let's all make new friends!") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|rumpus_4]]

'So Bones, tell me how you first met Fin.' 'I was outside a west coast comedy club, abusing a trash can in alley after another bad set. 'Fin comes up to me out of the darkness and asks me for a dollar. 'I reached through all my pockets and gave him the only thing I found. ' 'This is a peanut.' ' 'Yeah? Well, sit on it; it'll be peanut-butt-er.' 'Then he let out this roaring cackling laugh and wheezing. He sounded like a drunk hyena. 'So I told him another joke. And another one. And another one. 'Joke after joke he was laughing like I had a vice grip on his funnybone. 'Right then I knew that having this guy on stage with me was the cure to my stage fright. 'And Fin and Bones! was born.' [[Continue|rumpus_6]]

'And how was it in the early days of Fin and Bones!?' 'It was perfect. We split everything down the middle: 95-5. 'As far as the business side, we had it arranged where I would do the interviews and deal with the fan affairs, and Fin was responsible for the rest. 'We exploded in popularity practically overnight.' [[Continue|rumpus_7]]

'Let's skip ahead. What were the events that led up to the end of the laughter?' 'I didn't notice any signs of his stress until the day of the incident, likely due to how busy I was attending to fan affairs. 'In fact, I was coming out of my room in our hotel suite after attending to a fan affair when it happened. 'Fin was standing there by the livingroom hot tub holding a fireman's axe. ' 'What's with the axe buddy?' ' 'I thought it could be part of our act. I've been practicing juggling it. See?' He said as he repeatedly tossed the axe in the air and caught it. ' 'I see. You're getting pretty good at that. But what's the punchline?' ' 'Oh, no punchline. Only a chop-spine!' 'And he threw the axe directly at my head! 'I narrowly ducked out of the way. The axe embedded into the wall right next to the fan who was coming out to get a soda. 'She shrieked like a banshee, but unfortunately my bodyguards could not hear it as they were dealing with an eaten dollar at the vending machines. [[Continue|rumpus_8]]

'We ran back into the room and locked the door. 'I tried calling my bodyguards, hotel security, or the police, but I couldn't make sense of using the phone because I had just taken som—... uh, because of the stress of the situation. 'Fin started hacking at the door with the axe. He got a good sized hole through it and tried to make a comedic reference, but I still don't think it was appropriate for the situation. 'He was almost through the door when... [[Continue|rumpus_9]]

' 'Hey boss, do you have 5 quarters for the machine? ' 'Hey! What are you doing!' 'Then they zapped him with a taser and he went off to the loony bin. 'But I want to put my fans' minds at ease: Bones is still doing shows solo. Check the website for tour dates.' [[Continue|rumpus_10]]

And that would have been the end of it, if not for the news about Fin's escape last weekend. Here's a photo of him coming out of a nearby graveyard after desecrating a corpse. [[Continue|rumpus_11]]

If you have any information about the whereabouts of this man, please do not approach. Get to a safe location and dial ei-" Just then the TV turns off. "Heh. Y-you can't believe all this celebrity news. They exaggerate just about everything..." ... What feels like minutes or possibly hours pass in silence. The silence is finally broken by the the TV turning on again: "There's a key in the red pocket of the pool table." Then it shuts off again. I guess everyone just has to move on from this. You reach into the table and pull out a key. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 7th's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Rumpus Room") ]}

You say: {(if: $player's "pc" is 1)[ (print: "Hey, there dollface. I know a little girl who would absolutely love you!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 2)[ (print: "It will take a lot more than that to deceive me! You don't think I can recognize my own?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 3)[ (print: "D-do you have gas?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "Rawr ruff ruff ruff.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 5)[ (print: "What powers, this item!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 6)[ (print: "Does anyone know a human female?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "pc" is 7)[ (print: "Hi there dolly. Are you from around here?") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|doll_3]]

Your partners want to ask about you: {(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 1 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie: Hey, there dollface. I know a little girl who would absolutely love you!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 2 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca: It will take a lot more than that to decieve me! You don't think I can recognize my own?!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 3 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 3)[ (print: "Jessica: D-do you have gas?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 4 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 4)[ (print: "Lattie: Rawr ruff ruff ruff.") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 5 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf, Divining Destroyer: What powers, this item!") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 6 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 6)[ (print: "Guy: Does anyone know a human female?") (print: " ") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 2nd is 7 or $player's "partners"'s 3rd is 7)[ (print: "Fin and Bones!: Hi there dolly. Are you from around here?") (print: " ") ]} [[Continue|doll_3]]

She replies:{(if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (replace: "She replies")[ (print: "You reply the only way you can right now") ] ]} I'm Speaky Sophie, and I love everyone! [[Continue|doll_4]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }You decide to move Sophie away from the knives. As you touch her, you become completely petrified. [[Continue|kitchen_3]]

{(set: $dontfoot to true) }{(if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 1)[ (print: "Cabbie") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 2)[ (print: "Dr. Aluca") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 3)[ (print: "Jess") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 4)[ (print: "Lattie") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 5)[ (print: "Saargröf") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 6)[ (print: "Guy") ] (if: $player's "partners"'s 1st is 7)[ (print: "Fin") ]} picks you up. Finally! You have regained enough power to reach past the seal for the posession. Just enough to speak for now until full transfer can take place: [[Continue|kitchen_4]]

Then your mouth begins to move on its own. Something else's words begin to come out: [[Continue|kitchen_4]]

"At long last I, Draagmuth the Red Prince, am able to speak! [[Continue|kitchen_5]]

I came to your universe on a simple hunting expedition, but you VERMIN sealed me inside this doll! [[Continue|kitchen_6]]

It was infuriating being a toy! Passed around from old farm house to old farm house. Wishing to chase humans with kitchen knives... All to bide my time while the seal slowly weakened...! [[Continue|kitchen_7]]

But now, it has fractured more than enough to allow me to transfer to this vessel! Once the process is complete, I will be unstoppable!!! *Kil-ra kil-ra kil-ra kil-ra!*" [[Continue|kitchen_8]]

{(if: $player's "pc" is 4)[ (print: "The spirit's laughing causes your mouth to open wide enough that you drop the doll and come back to your senses.") ](else-if: $player's "pc" is 8)[ (print: "You lose yourself in how hard you are laughing, and the doll falls to the floor, reversing the posession.") ](else:)[ (print: "The spirit doesn't notice how it is starting to use your arms to laugh for more dramatic effect. The doll drops to the floor and you regain your senses.") ]} Everyone agrees not to touch the doll again. You hear the toaster oven ding. You open it. There's a key inside! ... ... ... Not yet. ... ... O.K., it should be cool enough now. You reach in and grab the key. You wish you would have waited a little longer, but it shouldn't leave a mark. Key obtained! Continue{ (click: "Continue")[ (set: $character's 8th's "key obtained" to true) (set: $player's "num of keys" to it + 1) (set: $dontfoot to false) (go-to: "Kitchen") ]}

I wish he also would have been an immortal. ..." [[Continue|ballroom_13]]