Insomnia

It is a dark and mostly cloudy night with a 30% chance of rain. As the moonlight plays across your face you lie in bed as you have for the last three hours. According to the clock/radio by your bedside, it's 2 AM. Drat! You have to be up at 7 AM for an important meeting, but you're as wide awake as you were at noon. You toss and turn, and turn again. You flip your pillow over. You lie on your side, your back, then your other side. Nothing works. It's happening once more, another endless night without dreams, [[another bout of...->Title Screen]]

All right. Getting a good night's rest is paramount, so you're determined to do whatever is necessary to get back to sleep. You close your eyes and lie on your back. Minutes pass. You are just as awake, so you try flipping over and sleeping on your belly. No luck. You try spreading out your arms and legs. Nothing. You try curling up into a tight ball, knees tucked under your chin. Zip. You open your eyes and look at the clock. It's almost 3 AM. A feeling of desperation starts to come over you. What do you do? [[Count sheep->Baa Baa Black Sheep]] [[Take a sleeping pill->Medicated]]

Yeah, there's no point tossing and turning in bed if you're not feeling tired. You snap the lights on and swing your legs out of bed. You stretch your arms out and try to yawn. Nothing. Just as you figured, you don't feel the least bit fatigued. Now that you're up, you need something to do to fill the next five hours. You were up past midnight working on the Richards deal, but maybe you could stand to double-check your work one last time? On the other hand, you did do a pretty thorough job on all the paperwork. Why go through all that again? You should just kick back and relax. [[Review the Richards deal->Buried in Red Tape]] [[Take it easy->Decisions, Decisions]]

You go to your study and take out the briefcase in which you kept the Richards deal papers. You spend the next few hours re-reading them and checking the figures. Everything seems to be in order. Just as you finish, you notice a folder you didn't see before. From the label it looks like it's part of the Richards deal, but you don't remember ever having seen it. It might be some paperwork belonging to your boss. Still, you were supposed to be familiar with every part of the deal. Did you miss something? Or maybe this is something you're not supposed to look at. You wonder whether you should go over the papers in the folder. [[Look at the papers->The Hexagon Papers]] [[Ignore the papers->See No Evil]]

You decide you've earned a little R&R. After all, you've been working non-stop these past two weeks on the Richards deal. You didn't even have the weekends off. In fact, you've been working so hard that you realize you don't have any idea how you want to relax. A lot of your time these past two weeks were spent cooped up in a cubicle or at home. You certainly feel the urge to get out and about, even this late at night. On the other hand...You do have to be at work in five hours. And is there really anything to do outside at this late hour? [[Go out->The Great Outdoors]] [[Stay home->A Mini Staycation]]

Maybe some fresh air will do you some good. Staying indoors can't be good for your health. You slip on some tennis shoes and a light jacket, and head down the street. At 2 AM there isn't another soul in sight. You walk for a while without any particular destination in mind, and before you know it you find yourself close to the city center. A path to your left heads into the city park, while the road continues downtown. Of course, you could always just turn around and head home. [[Go to the park->The Park]] [[Go downtown->Downtown]] [[Head home->Home Sweet Home]]

You figure it's much better to stay at home. Besides, there's plenty to do, such as...such as... You wrinkle your brow in puzzlement. What is there to do at home? You look around your bare-bones living space. You have some books on a bookshelf - perhaps you can catch up on your reading. You also have a subscription to a movie-streaming service. Maybe you can watch some movies or television before you go to work? [[Read a book->War and Peace]] [[Watch TV->Binging]]

You go to your bookshelf, filled with many works of classic literature. Your eyes sweep over the volumes, and come to rest on an old dog-eared book: Blossoms in the Basement. The sight of that torrid potboiler fills you with nostalgia, as you remember your school days when you and your friends surreptitiously passed it around, giggling at certain parts in which you learned the secrets of the universe. You intend to only read a few chapters, but the steamy tale quickly captures your attention. The hours fly by as you are engrossed in the book's world of deceit, betrayal, and uncomfortably close familial relations. Just as you reach the book's shocking ending, you hear a ringing sound from upstairs. It's your alarm clock. Looking at a clock mounted above your mantle, you see that it's 7 AM. This would have been the time you would have normally gotten up. You rise, albeit reluctantly, and go about [[preparing for your important meeting at work.->The Meeting]]

Television it is. You sit down on your comfy couch and grasp your remote control. As you start up the streaming service, you ponder which of the hundreds of shows and movies available you want to watch. You soon settle on the long-running and popular fantasy series Competition of Crowns. The seventh season was just released, and you've been wanting to know how the story turns out after last season's cliffhanger. Sure enough, you find yourself immersed in the machinations and plotting of the main characters, as well as their torrid assignations and gruesome deaths. The hours just melt away as [[you watch episode after episode...->Oh No!]]

As you reach the climatic finale of the season, wondering whether the hero figured out the princess he saved was really his long-lost fifth cousin twice removed on his father's side, you catch a flash on light in the corner of your eye. Startled, you look up from the screen (after pausing to make sure you don't miss any of the episode). Sunlight is streaming through the slits of your blinds, which means it's morning. And then you look back at the television, and see that you're on episode six. And each episode is one hour long... YOU'RE LATE FOR WORK! You jump up and frantically run around for a few seconds. You run upstairs and throw yourself into the shower, then realize while shampooing your hair that you didn't take your clothes off. You manage to put on some (dry) proper business attire, spit out your toothpaste, grab your briefcase, and [[run out the door.->You're Fired!]]

Alas, when you reach your office, it is already 9:13 AM. There is a deathly silence in the air, and you sheepishly head for your cubicle. There is already a note taped to your computer -- "See me". You can tell from the handwriting that it's from your boss... Of course, the boss summoned you so he could have the pleasure of firing you in person. Since you were late to the meeting, the Richards deal fell through. Everyone will miss their Christmas bonuses, and the CEO will not be able to buy a new yacht. Since it was obviously your fault, you are politely asked to get the hell out. After gathering your things, you glumly walk out the door. At least now you will have time to finish watching TV. However, on the drive back home, you fall asleep since you were up all night, and end up driving off a bridge into a river, where you drown. ($handleEndMacro: 22) ($checkpointMacro: "Decisions, Decisions")

An hour later you stroll into your office, briefcase in hand. The Richards meeting is an hour later, and another sixty minutes after that, papers are signed and hands are shaken. After seeing Richards off, your boss comes up to you with a big grin on his face. "That was spectacular!" he says. "This deal will ensure record profits for the firm this year. If you don't make partner by the end of the month it'll be because the world ended or something." You thank your boss and walk back to your cubicle. Your step and heart are light as you know you'll soon have your own corner office, company car, and unlimited photocopier privileges. And just as you reach your desk, an intense feeling of fatigue hits you, and you fall forward, faceplanting on your keyboard. ($handleEndMacro: 21) ($checkpointMacro: "Decisions, Decisions")

The city park is a calm, tranquil place, especially in the dead of night. It is dark, though, and only a few lights illuminate the paths in the park. In fact, it's dark enough that the tranquil feelings you were having slowly give way to a sensation of dread. Soon you find yourself in the middle of the park, thick with trees and a lone metal bench. The only light here is broken, and only the moon illuminates your surroundings. That feeling of dread you have is starting to turn into a sensation of panic. What do you do? [[Sit down->On a Bench]] [[Run away->Run!]]

Even at this late hour, there are other people up and about. Some company might do you some good. You head downtown which is well lit. A number of establishments are still open. Two in particular catch your eye. One is the all-night movie theater. It's currently advertising a double feature of I Was A Teenage Sparkly Vampire and 500 Shades of Chartreuse. The other is a tavern from which you can hear the sounds of loud rock music playing. [[Watch a movie->At the Movies]] [[Go to the bar->Wet Your Whistle]]

You decide you've had enough and head for home. As you step back into your house, you feel fatigued for the first time tonight. You slip back into bed and within seconds, doze off peacefully. ($handleEndMacro: 18) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

You buy a ticket for the double-feature. Fortunately, both movies are just 90 minutes long so you'll have plenty of time to get to work afterwards. You buy a small bag of popcorn and settle into your seat. Both movies were poorly reviewed, so you go in with low expectations. An hour later you find yourself glued to the screen as you watch a steamy love story unfold on the screen. The very drama captured on celluloid inflames your passions and ignites your imagination. Who would have guessed that a romance between a boring, mousy girl and an overly shiny undead could be so compelling? As the movie ends, you wonder what could possibly top that experience. Then the second movie starts, and promptly sucks you in. It is clear that this tale of forbidden love makes the previous movie look like some naive exercise in chaste handholding. By the time the movie ends just a scant hour and half later you are ready to overheat. Staggering out of the theater, you [[stumble home to get ready for work.->Hearts Aflutter]]

The bar has a flickering neon sign advertising "Beer - $1 Happy Hour". The actual happy hours are not listed. You step past a couple of large and loud-looking motorcycles and head inside. Despite it being a weeknight, the bar is fairly crowded, and it's only with some luck that you're able to squeeze into a seat near the tap. The bartender, a sweaty, balding man wearing a tank top, is busy wiping away some spilled liquid on the counter, although it looks more like he is spreading whatever it is around. You casually dip your hands into a provided bowl of nuts, trying to grab one you think no one else has touched. As you're about to pop the nut in your mouth, the bartender finally notices you and grunts, "What'll it be?" [[A beer->Beer Me]] [[Water->H2O]] [[Nothing->Designated Driver]]

"I'll have a beer," you say. "What kind?" the bartender says. Hmmm. You pick up a laminated card on the counter which lists a wide variety of beverages. There are the usual American brands, some fancy German brews, something with a name you can't pronounce. You finally settle on a safe, inexpensive light beer. The bartender shrugs his shoulders but pours you a glass of your selection. Without much ceremony, you tip the glass and put the drink down the hatch. You feel a mild buzz, nothing too strong but nice and pleasant. It's only 3 AM at this point. You feel perfectly fine, and waving your glass in the air, shout [["Barkeep, one more!"->Eat, Drink and Be Merry]]

"Uh, I'll have a glass of water," you say. The bartender raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. He grabs a glass and fills it under a tap behind the bar. He then puts the glass on the counter and rubs his fingers together in the time-honored way. "That'll be $5.50," he says. "What!" you say. "But you just filled it from a tap! That's robbery!" "What, good old city water isn't good enough for you? You want some fancy-schmancy French mineral water or something? $5.50. We're not the Salvation Army or Goodwill here." The noise in the bar fades as attention comes upon you. Looking around, you see squinting eyes scrutinizing you, searching for signs of weakness. You need to act. [[Pay up->Pay the Piper]] [[Refuse to pay->It's Your Funeral]]

"Uh, nothing for me," you say, moving to eat the peanut in your hand. The bartender scowls, then grabs your wrist in a surprisingly painful move. "Look, kid," the bartender says. "This ain't a charity. You're taking up valuable real estate from paying customers here. Now, I'm just going to ask one more time. What'll it be?" [[Beer->Beer Me]] [[Water->H2O]]

All right. You know when to pick your battles. Refusing to settle a bar tab in a place where no one's around to back you up is a sure route to having non-standard dentistry done on you. Determined to preserve your winning smile, you swallow your pride and decide to pay up. You reach into your pocket, and realize that you have left your wallet at home. ($handleEndMacro: 19) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

You're not going to let some no-class beer-slinging, nose-picking, health-code-violating lowlife intimidate you. You push the glass of water back at him, rise from your seat, and say, "I'm not paying." Immediately several warm bodies sidle up to you. They are large, hirsute, and ill-tempered. The bartender doesn't even give you a second chance. The men pick you up, each one grasping one of your limbs. Then they throw you -- not outside the bar, but towards the back. "Oops," says the bartender. "Exit's that way, boys." The bouncers "miss" the exit a few more times. By the time they finally "find" it, you realize you will likely be spending the next few months in a full-body cast. Hope your insurance is paid up. ($handleEndMacro: 20) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

Time is subjective. A painful experience, though it lasts but a second, may feel like a year; likewise a pleasurable experience may pass by in an eyeblink though it be hours long. An eyeblink it is for you, and hours it is for the real world. You come to as the bartender is busy sweeping up the floor, being none too careful to avoid your prone form. You fortuitously landed face down and only awake when you feel the bristles of the barkeep's broom tickle your nose. "What time is it?" you moan. The previously night's wassail hits your head with a vengeance. You suddenly find yourself hoping that in your drunken state, you walked into a black hole and travelled back in time. "It's 7 AM", says the bartender. You breathe a sigh of relief, and then he says, "On Saturday." ($handleEndMacro: 17) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

You sit upon the park bench and take a deep breath and force yourself to calm down. The pounding of your heart gradually ceases and soon all you can hear are the chirping of crickets. And then, without warning, a bright light shines upon you from above. At first you think it's one of the park lights coming on, but it's too large and intense. Peeking through your fingers, you see the source of the light -- a flying saucer! The metallic disc is hovering in the air, emitting a low hum. You have no idea where it is from but is clearly isn't anything of this world. The feeling of panic grips you again and you desperately want to run. [[Run->Run!]] [[Stay where you are->Close Encounters]]

Panic seizes you as you turn and run as fast as you can. Your legs pump furiously and your arms swing wildly as you sprint out of the park. For good measure you let out a loud "AHHHHHHHHHH!" to accentuate the terror that you feel. Minutes later you collapse on the doorstep of your home. You're safe! Or, are you? You look at the sky. The first light of dawn has arrived, illuminating your face. You suppose the danger is past. You take a shower and get ready to go to work. As you towel off, you chuckle to yourself at how scared you were. Running like a frightened kid! Good thing no one was around to see you or [[you'd never live it down.->A New Star]]

When you arrive at work you hear a strange sound in the offices. It takes you a second to realize that the sound is laughter. Everyone is crowded around a computer, or looking at their phones and laughing at something. What, exactly, is everyone so amused by? Then you hear another sound, coming from the computers and phones. At first you think it's some sort of siren, but then you realize it's a voice. A human voice. YOUR human voice! It's you, screaming "AHHHHHHHHHH!" You push your way to the front of a group standing in front of a computer. On the screen (an HD screen, no less) you see a streaming video. It's of a person, running down the street in the middle of the night, yelling. It's you! "Hey! The Screaming Runner's here!" says one of your co-workers. "Some guy managed to get some footage of you last night and it went viral! Do you always flap your arms like that when you run?" Shamefacedly, you turn and leave the office. You have lost all credibility in your line of work and now must make a living as an Internet personality. On the bright side, you no longer flap your arms when you run. ($handleEndMacro: 15) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

You sit, frozen with fear, as the flying saucer hovers above you. The beam of light it is emitting flares up for a brief second, then dims. You blink, and see two figures standing before you. As your eyes adjust back to the darkness you can make out their features. They are about three feet tall and look vaguely human, but with green skin and quivering antennae. They are wearing silver jumpsuits and fishbowl helmets. "Greetings human," says the figure on the left. [["Take us to your leader,"->For All Mankind]] says the figure on the right.

You've always wondered what it would be like to meet aliens, but never in your wildest imagination did you envision an encounter like this. You have a million questions you want to ask, but you sense that the aliens want you to respond to their request first. Take them to your leader? Do they mean the President or what? It's not like you can call the President any time you want and get a meeting. Maybe it would be better to direct the aliens to the United Nations? Maybe you should get some clarification on what they want? Something else enters your mind, a curiously mischievous thought. What if you said you were Earth's leader? You could end up having an awful lot of influence over these aliens if you make that claim... [[Offer to contact the President->Social Media]] [[Offer to contact the United Nations->The General Assembly]] [[Ask for clarification of who they want to meet->School in Session]] [[Pretend to be Earth's leader->I, Leader]]

"Uh, I guess I can take you to the President. I don't know his phone number or anything, but I think I can e-mail him." The alien on your left tilts his head. "E...mail?" "Yeah, e-mail. Electronic mail. I can send a message to the President through the Internet." "The Internet?" asks the alien on the right. His face brightens. "Ah, yes, I think I may know what that is. A primitive form of communication used by less advanced lifeforms. I have always wanted to see an example of an...Internet. Can you show me?" "Er, sure," you say. You take out your smartphone and bring up its web browser. You show the two aliens various web pages, mostly social media. The aliens take it all in wordlessly. "Thank you," says the alien on the left. "We've seen enough. Good-bye, human." "Wait a second!" you say. "Didn't you want to meet our leader?" "We just remembered we had an...appointment at coordinates Alpha-4 Zeta-8," says the alien on the right. "Gotta go!" There is another flash of light, and the aliens are gone. The flying saucer zips up into Earth's orbit. From there, it unleashes a volley of neutronic torpedoes, blasting the Earth's surface so that not even a microbe survives. ($handleEndMacro: 11) ($checkpointMacro: "For All Mankind")

"We don't really have a single leader on Earth, but there's the United Nations," you say. "We have heard of this United Nations. Can you secure us an appointment with their General Assembly?" says the alien on the right. Not entirely sure what to do, you look up a phone number for some office of the United Nations and call it. You don't have much luck as you aren't believed. However, people eventually notice a big flying saucer hovering over the city park. Various authorities show up, and shortly thereafter a delegation from the UN appears. The UN arranges for the aliens (whose names you learn are Zolo and Zono) to address the General Assembly. You are invited to attend as well. Zolo and Zono's speech will [[occur in one week.->The Big Day]]

You decide to explain the geopolitical situation on planet Earth to the aliens (whose names you learn are Zolo and Zono). You point out that there really isn't a single leader of the world, and dovetail into an explanation of Westphalian sovereignty and international law. As you talk you notice the aliens' eyes glazing over and their antennae wilting. "Uh," says Zono, "this is boring." "Yeah!" says Zolo. "What are we doing here listening to this primitive lifeform? Let's get off this rock." "I agree! How about we blow up some asteroids? It'll be a swell way to kill some time." In a flash of light, the aliens disappear, and seconds later, the flying saucer zooms off into outer space. You stand there blinking, wondering if you really experienced what you did. Did you actually meet aliens, beings from another world? And did you just bore them so badly that they decided to go blow some space rocks up instead? Did you rob humanity of a great opportunity, or did you actually do it a favor? You may never know. The sun is rising, and you need to get ready for work. Rubbing your eyes, you start the walk home. ($handleEndMacro: 13) ($checkpointMacro: "For All Mankind")

"Yes, I am the leader of this planet," you say. You stand a up a little straighter and tuck your thumbs into your lapel, hoping to cut a more impressive figure. The aliens look at each other, then one of them pulls out a gun and shoots you. Fortunately you aren't cut in two or disintegrated, but you fall to the ground, completely paralyzed. Both aliens grab you by the collar and haul you into their flying saucer. You are placed in a glass tube among a number of similar tubes, each containing a strange and bizarre lifeform. It's almost as if...you've been placed in a collection of some sort. One of the aliens walks up to a control panel and presses a button. "Hey, Zartrok," he says. "I just bagged another one. The leader of that third planet from that yellow sun in sector 45-84." "WHAT!" replies a high-pitched voice. "I can't believe it! I'm still trying to catch the High Potentate of Cremulon VI. How dare you get ahead of me in collecting planetary leaders!" The alien just sticks his tongue out. ($handleEndMacro: 14) ($checkpointMacro: "For All Mankind")

"Greetings, people of Earth," says Zolo. "Have you considered tinting your atmosphere?" Murmurs run through the crowd as people try to digest exactly what they just heard. "Yes, it's true," says Zono. "Studies have shown that the color of the sky affects lifeforms' mood, circulation, hair, scale, or feather growth as well as their reproductive potency. A sky whose color is in the 450 to 495 nanometer wavelength range as yours is is suboptimal." "We can seed your atmosphere with particulates that can adjust the color of your sky to a better wavelength," says Zolo. "You'll feel the benefits immediately! Food will taste better, your epidermises will clear up, and your estrus cycles will increase!" "All this can be yours, but you must act fast! For a limited time we'll adjust your sky's color for half off! We'll also throw in polishing up your planet's natural satellite for a fuller, healthier glow at night..." "Uh, excuse me," says the Secretary General. "But are you really just here to sell us something?" "We're not just selling anything," says Zono. "It's a once in a galactic rotational cycle opportunity..." The crowd is not pleased at having to listen to the cosmic equivalent of a timeshare presentation, and Zono, Zolo, and yourself are booed out of the assembly hall. Dejected, the three of you meet outside. "Uh, sorry about that," you say, although you're not sure you should be the one apologizing. "That's all right," says Zolo. "If you make one sale in three million in this business you're doing pretty well." Zono hands you a small plastic square. "This is our card. If you humans ever change your mind just touch this square to send a mental message to us. Well, we're off!" And with that, the pair hop back into their flying saucer and fly away. ($handleEndMacro: 12) ($checkpointMacro: "For All Mankind")

You make it to work comfortably on time but you find yourself distracted. At the all-important Richards meeting, you can't focus on what anyone is saying, but spend your time doodling "I &hearts; sparkly vampires", "Edward 4Ever", and other lovey-dovey things on your notepad. Your boss notices your inattention, and pulls you aside to admonish you. "Can't you see this deal is important?" "I'll always be by your side, even when you're sleeping," you blurt out. Oops. Minutes later you are back at your desk cleaning it out. For your services to the company you have not been fired; however, you are transferred to the company's satellite office in the North Pole. ($handleEndMacro: 16) ($checkpointMacro: "The Great Outdoors")

You flip open the folder and start reading the documents inside. Twenty minutes later, you close the folder, hands shaking. The documents were about the Richards deal, all right, but they describe a conspiracy of monumental proportions. In retrospect, some of the details of the deal seemed a bit off to you, but the papers before you explain everything. The Richards deal is a conspiracy in violation of every local, state, federal, and possibly international law in your field. The company stands to make billions from the deal, but at what cost? And you realize that given your role in preparing the deal, you, too, are an accomplice in this crime. Should it come to light and be prosecuted, you are looking at a couple hundred years in prison at the least. Even disregarding common morality, it would be in your interest to go to the authorities. Or would it? The plan also involves buying off relevant government officials to cover it up. Given the money involved, everyone in the deal could get off scot free. And if you try to squeal, well, it's obvious that your life could be in a good bit of danger. [[Go to the authorities->Talk]] [[Don't do anything->Zip Your Lip]]

You decide not to look at the papers in the folder. If this is your boss's folder, the documents are probably just some higher-level mumbo jumbo about "strategic vision" and such. Your job in the firm is to handle the nitty-gritty details so you're probably not missing much. You go to work and the meeting with Richards goes well. Afterwards, you hand the folder over to your boss, mentioning that you took them by accident. Your boss thanks you and then asks, "You didn't look at them, did you?" "No, of course not," you say. "Good, good," says your boss. But you can't help but feel from the look on his face that he doesn't believe you. The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. At the end of work, you hop into your car. You turn the ignition key, and your car promptly explodes. ($handleEndMacro: 9) ($checkpointMacro: "Buried in Red Tape")

There's no way you can be a part of a criminal enterprise so big. You have to go to the authorities -- preferably, the FBI. Still, you have to be careful about it. The next morning, you discreetly make photocopies of all the relevant documents. Then, after work, you make an excuse to not go drinking with your co-workers and slip away to the nearest FBI field office. "This is huge!" says Special Agent Thomas, as he pours through the document. "We had an idea something was up but no leads. This completely cracks the case! This nation owes you a great debt." "About that," you say. "Look, I'm not interested in a reward. I'm more worried that, well, you know..." "That's right," says Thomas. "Given the scope of this conspiracy, your life would be in danger even if all the principals were put in prison. You know easy it is to hire a hit man from the big house? No worries, we'll [[put you in the Witness Protection Program."->Incognito]]

You decide to keep your mouth shut. You figure it's better to pretend you don't know anything. Besides, as part of the plan you're going to get millions of dollars yourself. You figure that should ease (or suppress?) your conscience a bit. The Richards deal goes through as planned. After the papers are signed, your boss pulls you aside. "We're going to be rich," he says. "It's going to be easy street from here on, as long as, well, you know." He winks at you. "Yeah," you say, [[feebly giving him a thumbs up.->The Wages of Sin]]

Your bank account swells considerably in the next few weeks. Well, it's not your usual bank account but a Swiss bank account -- your boss discreetly slipped you a piece of paper with the account number on it. Of course, you don't report any of this on your taxes. Life is good. You buy a new car, a summer home, and a fresh pair of socks. (Your old ones had holes in them.) You revel in the luxury of buying whatever you want, whenever you want. No more clipping coupons or waiting for your favorite cereal to be on sale! But the good times don't last forever. At some point, someone must have let something slip. There are news stories about the Richards deal and suspicions surrounding it. Finally, your boss mentions to you that you might consider taking a long vacation outside the country, preferably somewhere that has no extradition treaty with the US. You are looking up possible places to go when the FBI raids your office. Men in body armor slam you to the ground and handcuff you. A national news camera crew is there also, so everyone gets to see you tasered on live television. The trial is short as the main evidence -- the document you read before -- clearly shows everyone's guilt. When all the charges are added up, you must serve 2,491 years in prison. At least they give you new socks in the slammer. ($handleEndMacro: 10) ($checkpointMacro: "The Hexagon Papers")

The next few weeks are a whirlwind of activity while the FBI creates a new identity for you. You are given a new name, your hair is dyed, and a new home and job are picked out for you. It's going to be tough but you're willing to do it so long as it helps bring the bad guys to justice. While preparations for your new life are being made, the FBI goes ahead with shutting down the Richards deal. They raid your offices and arrest everyone involved. However, you receive a phone call that evening from agent Thomas. "Bad news. You're going to have to make your move tonight. We arrested almost everyone today, but one guy gave us the slip." Thomas names him. It's your boss. "Get ready, the van will pick you up at 10 PM." You already had a suitcase packed but there are still a few errands you need to run before leaving your old life forever. You take the garbage out for the last time. When you step outside, you immediately come face to face with your boss. He seems to be unarmed, and in fact is looking at you with sad eyes. "Hey," he says. "I just...I just wanted to come see you before I go away. I just want to say there's no hard feelings..." He opens his arms, as if he wants to hug you. Is he a broken man looking for one last bit of compassion before the end? Or someone who wants to end you? [[Hug him->Last Rites]] [[Avoid him->Revenge]]

You feel some compassion for your former boss. After all, he may have been just as much in the dark as to how dirty the Richards deal was. He was always good to you. You might even put in a good word for him at his sentenc... You feel a sharp pain, and stumble backwards. Fumbling around behind you, you realize that there is a knife sticking in your back. As you fall on your front steps, your boss advances towards you, a second knife in his hands. "You ruined everything!" he says. "We could have been rich, rich I tell you! Now the only thing I have left is to get my revenge on you." You feel weak from blood loss, but you know you have to do something if you want to survive. The question is, what? [[Try to escape->Run For It!]] [[Stand your ground->Good Defense]] [[Distract your boss->Over There!]]

You turn your back on your own boss, not wanting to even speak to him. But before you go back inside your home, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn and see tears streaming down your boss's face. "Look," he says, wracked with sobs, "I really wanted to apologize to you. I know I don't deserve it for what I did. I mean, I committed fraud, I stole billions of dollars, I would have pinned it on you if I could. But now I see I was wrong. I'm going to take my medicine like a man, and I want to thank you for helping me get back on the right track." Either he's a really good actor or he genuinely feels remorse for what he did. You reluctantly turn to face him, and before you can do anything, your boss grabs your hand. You shake it, feeling a conspicuously large ring on his finger. "Oh, yeah, that," says your boss, raising his hand and showing off a gold ring with a large diamond. "I'm done with this life of greed and avarice! From now on, I renounce all material things!" He yanks the ring off his finger and flings it into a nearby sewer opening. After your boss departs, you shrug and get on with your preparations to [[enter the Witness Protection Program.->The Truth]]

Yeah, running for your life would be a good idea right now. You manage to scramble to your feet. Adrenaline surges through your body. With a burst of speed, you can get away... And then you slip and fall. You lost so much blood, there's now a sizable puddle of it on the ground. And you're wearing a pair of flip-flops. With no traction, you had no chance to keep your balance. Mercifully, you fall on your back, which drives the knife further in, finishing you before your boss cuts you up with his second knife. ($handleEndMacro: 4) ($checkpointMacro: "Incognito")

Looks like you're going to have to stand and fight. Well, you wouldn't have it any other way. You are going to need a weapon to fight with though. What can you defend yourself with? [[A trash can lid->The Shield of Justice]] [[The knife in your back->Bleeding Out]] [[Your bare hands->Fisticuffs]]

You only have one chance. "Look over there!" you yell, pointing behind your boss. "The cops!" Your boss smirks. "Do you really think you can fool me that easily? Now what part of your body should I cut off fir--" He suddenly stops mid-sentence, going rigid as if experiencing a massive electric shock. Which he is, as you see the wires from a taser stuck in him. "Good thing we got here in time," says agent Thomas. FBI agents swarm around your boss and handcuff him. "Where did you come from?" you ask. "You weren't there when I tried to distract him." "Oh, that's a trade secret," Thomas says. He looks at your wounds. "Don't worry, an ambulance is on the way." You smile weakly. You will still have to enter the Witness Protection Program, but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that no one will be escaping justice. ($handleEndMacro: 5) ($checkpointMacro: "Incognito")

You were taking the trash out, so fortunately the garbage can is nearby. You grab its metal lid, and manage to lift it just in time to block a blow from your boss. "Damn you, die already!" yells your boss as he repeatedly brings down his knife on your garbage can lid. "No, YOU die!" you say. Marshaling the last of your strength, you throw the lid at your boss. It strikes him square in the stomach. You boss yelps in pain and drops his knife, then crumples to the ground, clutching his belly in agony. You fall to your knees, exhausted by the ordeal. In the distance, sirens blare. It looks like things are going to be all right. ($handleEndMacro: 6) ($checkpointMacro: "Incognito")

You've already got a weapon, of sorts. With a great effort, you grab the knife stuck in your back, and pull it out. Unfortunately, when you remove the knife a lot of blood comes pouring out of your wound. You quickly lose consciousness and collapse to the ground, where you are easily finished off. ($handleEndMacro: 7) ($checkpointMacro: "Incognito")

You motion to your boss with your right hand. "Come on," you say. "Let's get it on. Mano a mano. No weapons. Or are you scared?" Your boss throws his knife to the ground. "I don't need this knife to finish you!" he says. "Or this gun, or this electric cattle prod!" The weapons clatter to the ground. "I'll choke you out with my bare hands." The two of you circle each other, eyeing each other, searching for a weak point. You are cognizant of losing blood -- for you, this battle has a hard time limit. It's time to win or die! Your boss throws the first punch. You duck out of the way and try to counter with an uppercut. Soon the two of you are flailing away, striking each other abandon. Amazingly enough, you are matching him blow for blow. Soon your boss looks to be almost in as bad shape as you. It's just a matter of who throws the last punch. Your wind-up seems to take forever, and it feels like it takes a year for your final blow to find its mark on your boss's jaw. His last punch, too, strikes you in the side of your head, and the world explodes into stars. Did you win? As you sink to the ground you see your former boss collapse on the ground like a sack of oranges. Oblivion comes to claim you, and you don't know whether you'll wake up or not -- but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing your boss won't be getting away either. ($handleEndMacro: 8) ($checkpointMacro: "Incognito")

Counting sheep -- supposedly the time-honored way of falling asleep. You don't know if it works, as you've never tried it. Come to think of it, you don't know anyone who's tried it, much less got it to work. How exactly do you count sheep anyway? Well, of course you know how to count, but how are you supposed to visualize the sheep? Do you think of realistic sheep, or cartoony ones? Are the sheep supposed to just stand there, or do they do something? Stereotypically, counted sheep jump over a fence. Do real sheep do that? You decide to improvise. You close your eyes, and think of a sheep. Well, it's more like a wooly blob with a head, dark snout, and dots for eyes. You visualize the sheep trotting towards a low fence, and hopping over it. "One," you think. You dream up a second, then a third, and a fourth sheep. All go over the fence. Then five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten... You reach thirty, but you find yourself thinking you aren't getting any sleepier. Should you keep going or give up? [[Keep going->30 to 100]] [[Give up->Stop Counting]]

You were hoping it wouldn't come to this. Since this isn't the first time you've had insomnia, you have a bottle of sleeping pills. Problem is, the pills are quite strong and there are some possible unpleasant...side effects. You stare at the bottle for some time. Do you really want to take the sleeping pills? Or do you want to forego them and try falling asleep naturally again? [[Take the pills->Pill Me]] [[Don't take the pills->Natural Insomnia]]

You decide you absolutely have to get some sleep. After all, you're closing the Richards' deal tomorrow, so you need to be rested and relaxed. You pop two pills in your mouth and wash them down with a swig of water. Immediately you feel drowsiness come over you. The pills sure act fast! You fall back into bed and go under immediately. Although you are asleep, you have vivid and otherworldly dreams. In fact, they are so lifelike that you wonder whether you are [[really asleep at all...->The Morning After]]

You decide you must forego any chemical aid for your sleep, lest you suffer from any unwanted side effects. You get back in bed and stare at the ceiling. Your eyes stay open, and you feel no heaviness on your eyelids. You close your eyes, but your brain stays awake. And so you lie in bed, tossing and turning, but never falling asleep. Gradually the light of dawn creeps through your windowshades, and before you know it, it is time for you to get up. You still feel perfectly awake. Maybe you didn't need to sleep after all. You rise from bed, and stretch your arms. Reflexively, you let out one long, loud yawn. And then drowsiness overcomes you and you fall into a heap on the ground, snoring loudly. ($handleEndMacro: 3) ($checkpointMacro: "Back in Bed")

When you wake up, you are covered in what appears to be some sort of cooking oil, perhaps sunflower or canola. You are wearing a chicken suit, albeit without a head. There is a clown nose on your nose. In your hand is a rubber chicken (a match with your chicken suit?) Blinking, you get to your feet, although you almost slip and fall due to all the oil. You notice you appear to be in a motel room. All the furniture is broken. Someone has scrawled on the walls "HdJDHKFSDHJKSFJ". You get the impression that you wrote the words, and at some point they held some sort of deep meaning for you. You hear the whoop of a siren outside. With some trepidation, you pull aside the curtain covering the room's window. Outside, you see a large number of police cars, along with several news vans. A policeman raises a megaphone to his lips. "Come out with your hands up!" It's going to be a long day... ($handleEndMacro: 2) ($checkpointMacro: "Back in Bed")

You figure there's no point in doing anything if you're not persistent, so you decide to keep counting sheep. From thirty you continue onwards, a parade of wool hopping over the fence, over and over again. You've counted 100 sheep, and you still don't feel tired. Is this really going to work? Should you just give up and try something else, or continue counting? [[Continue counting->100 to 1000]] [[Try something else->Stop Counting]]

It really seems like counting sheep isn't going to help. What can you do? Maybe you should try taking a sleeping pill. Or you could just forget about trying to sleep and get out of bed. [[Take a sleeping pill->Medicated]] [[Get up->Up and About]]

You continue counting sheep. 100...then 200... 300... 400...You think you should be getting tired by now but you aren't. 500... 600... 700...What time is it, anyway? You're counting at a rate of about one sheep a second. So it's at least 10 minutes already. You wonder whether you should count more slowly. Perhaps counting fast is just keeping you awake? Or you should be counting even faster, to tire yourself out. 800... 900.... You reach 1000 sheep, and you still aren't any closer to falling asleep than when you started. Should you just give up or keep counting? [[Give up->Stop Counting]] [[Keep going->To Infinity and Beyond]]

You aren't going to give up! You're going to keep counting until you fall asleep, or the world ends, or maybe something else. You continue to count higher, and higher, and higher. 2000 sheep. 3000... 10000... How long have you been at this? The sheep loom larger and large in your mind, big fluffy white balls of wool marching into infinity. You reach 20000... 30000... 40000... 50000... You suddenly realize that even if you wanted to stop, you can't. You are locked into a cycle of counting sheep. The numbers pour out as if you are chanting a mantra. Have you touched the divine? Is the sacred force of the universe, in fact, a sheep? You don't know. You may never know. It may be that you will never reach... ($handleEndMacro: 1) ($checkpointMacro: "Back in Bed")

In the dead of night, the authorities transport you to your new home in the protection program. They also give you a new name, wig, and wardrobe to conceal your identity. You also get a new job which luckily isn't too different from what you were doing before. Just three days into your new life you feel almost as if nothing has happened at all. Sure, you can never contact your friends and family again, and you're living in a completely different state with vastly different weather. But at least you're safe, safe from the revenge of your former boss who, according to news, is now serving a lengthy sentence in prison. He won't be eligible for parole for 462 years. [[There's clearly nothing to worry about...->Worry]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XX=")[(text-size: 3.0)[Insomnia:] { (if: $endingsFound < $numToUnlockSubtitles1)[(text-size: 1.25)[$subtitle]] (elseif: $endingsFound < $numToUnlockSubtitles2)[(display: "TitleOption1")] (else:)[(display: "TitleOption2")] } (text-size: 2.0)[[[Start->The Real Start]]] (if: $endingsFound >= $numToUnlockAccomplishments)[(text-size:1.25)[[[Accomplishments->Accomplishments]]]] (if: $endingsFound is $numEndings)[(text-size: 2.0)[[[The True Ending!->True End]]]] </h4>[[Credits->Credits]]</h4> Endings found: $endingsFound/$numEndings ]

You fear if you can't get back to sleep, you won't be able to stay awake through your meeting. If you can't close the Richards deal, you'll be back to selling vitamins door-to-door. You've got to do something, anything to get your much needed sleep. On the other hand...Since you're already awake and don't feel the least bit tired, maybe you could just stay up? You'll have a head start on the day. [[Try to go back to sleep->Back in Bed]] [[Get up and stay awake until dawn->Up and About]]

{= (set: $startPoint to "Title Screen") (set: $subtitle to "Twenty-Six Adventures After Dark") (set: $startedTrial to false) (set: $endingsFound to 0) (set: $numToUnlockAccomplishments to 3) (set: $numToUnlockCheckpoints to 7) (set: $numToUnlockSubtitles1 to 12) (set: $numToUnlockSubtitles2 to 18) (set: $numToUnlockTrueEnding to 26) (set: $numEndings to (passages: where its tags contains "Ending")'s length) (set: $endingAccomps to (a: "1 Ending Reached", "3 Endings Reached", "7 Endings Reached", "12 Endings Reached", "18 Endings Reached", "All Endings Reached!" ) ) (set: $hiddenEndAccomps to (a:)) (set: $numEndingsNeeded to (a: 1, 3, 7, 12, 18, 26)) (set: $endingAccompNew to (a:)) (for: each _e, ...$endingAccomps)[ (set: _hiddenEndAcc to (str-repeated: _e's length, "?")) (set: $hiddenEndAccomps to $hiddenEndAccomps + (a: _hiddenEndAcc)) (set: $endingAccompNew to $endingAccompNew + (a: false)) ] (set: $accomplishments to (a: "To infinity and more", "Side effects include...", "Belatedly slumbered", "Slipped up", "Whistleblower", "Took out the trash", "Et tu, boss?", "Heavyweight champion of the neighborhood", "Slept the big sleep (figuratively)", "Do not pass Go, do not collect $200", "Social media, the death of humanity", "Offer good for the next 20,000 light-years", "Made first and last contact", "Achieved mint condition", "Went viral", "Experienced workplace romance", "Ate, drank, and was merry", "Slept the big sleep (literally)", "Washed dishes without your teeth", "Increased your insurance premium", "Made an impression at the office", "Fall has arrived", "Finished life's fitful fever", "Grew a foot taller", "True awakening", "Cleansed your soul and the floor" ) ) (set: $subtitlesList to (a: "Twenty-Six Adventures After Dark", "Can't Sleep, Count Sheep", "Sleeping Pills and Midnight Chills", "The Big Sleepless", "To Not Sleep, No Chance to Dream", "The Unravelled Sleeve of Care", "The Dark And 30% Stormy Night", "An Interactive Eye Opener", "One Sheep, Two Sheep, Can't Sleep, Bo Peep", "It's Better Than Procrastination", "Staring at the Ceiling", "Ask Not For Whom the Alarm Clock Rings", "How I Learned to Love the Night", "The Stuff As Dreams Aren't Made Of", "Meaning Not Able to Sleep", "This Game Actually Has 27 Endings", "Take Two and Call Me in the Morning", "To Be Continued in Insomnia 2", "Just Kidding, There Won't Be An Insomnia 2", "Insert Subtitle Here", ) ) (set: $hiddenAccomps to (a:)) (set: $accompDone to (a:)) (set: $accompNew to (a:)) (for: each _acc, ...$accomplishments)[ (set: _hiddenAcc to (str-repeated: _acc's length, "?")) (set: $hiddenAccomps to $hiddenAccomps + (a: _hiddenAcc)) (set: $accompDone to $accompDone + (a: false)) (set: $accompNew to $accompNew + (a: false)) ] (set: $handleEndMacro to (macro: num-type _a, [ (if: visits is 1) [ (set: $endingsFound to $endingsFound + 1) (set: $accompDone's (_a) to true) (set: $accompNew's (_a) to true) (for: each _i, ...(range: 1, $numEndingsNeeded's length)) [ (if: $endingsFound is $numEndingsNeeded's (_i)) [ (set: $endingAccompNew's (_i) to true) ] ] ] (output:) [(align:"=><=")+(box:"=X=")+(text-size: 1.25)[THE END] (if: visits is 1)[[Ending found: (print: $accomplishments's (_a)) ($endingsFound/$numEndings)] (if: $endingsFound is $numToUnlockCheckpoints)[(print: "(You have reached $numToUnlockCheckpoints endings, and have unlocked the ability to go back to a previous checkpoint rather than restarting!)")]\ (elseif: $endingsFound is $numToUnlockAccomplishments)[(print: "[You have unlocked the accomplishments page! Check out the link on the title page!]")]\ (elseif: $endingsFound is $numToUnlockSubtitles1)[(print: "[You have unlocked the ability to change the game's subtitle! Click on it at the title screen to cycle through subtitles!]")]\ (elseif: $endingsFound is $numToUnlockSubtitles2)[(print: "[You have unlocked the ability to choose the game's subtitle from a list! Click on the subtitle on the title screen to change it!]")]\ (elseif: $endingsFound is $numToUnlockTrueEnding)[(print: "[You have found all the endings and unlocked the TRUE ENDING! Return to the title screen to see it!]")]\ ] (text-size: 1.25)[(link-goto:"Restart", $startPoint)] ] ]) ) (set: $checkpointMacro to (macro: str-type _passage, [ (output:)[\ (if: $endingsFound >= $numToUnlockCheckpoints)[(text-size: 1.25)[(link-goto: "Last Checkpoint", _passage)]] ] ]) )

It is a dark and tempestuous night. You were up late working on the Williams deal (your new job has thrown you in the deep end early). Although you felt tired, you find yourself lying in bed staring at the ceiling. Is it your old malady, insomnia, come back to haunt you? A dull pain brews in your stomach, and at first you think it was the three-bean casserole you had for dinner. Just an upset stomach, you think as you flip over to lie on your belly. I can sleep it off. But the pain continues to grow worse, and you wonder if you should try to seek some relief. [[Sleep it off->Stomachache]] [[Take some medicine->Pepto]]

You've defeated insomnia once before, so how could you let something as simple as a stomachache defeat you? You flip over one more time and clutch your vitals. Maybe it's just excess gas. Perhaps in a three-bean casserole, three beans are two beans too many... Just as you finish that thought, you hear a crash in the living room, followed by the gentle tinkling of glass. The crash wasn't big enough to be a car or truck or even go-kart, so it must be...a brick someone has thrown through your window? You spring up from bed and hasten to your living room, where you find your imagination mostly correct. Instead of a brick the object hurled through your window is a stone. And tied to the stone is a note? You snatch it up and [[read it...->Poison Warning]]

Ugh, you really need something to calm your stomach. You get up and go to the bathroom and take a gulp of bright pink medicine. That calms your stomach somewhat. As you head back to bed you hear a crash in the living room. You were sure you properly stowed away the scale model of the Eiffel Tower you had been working on so it must be your front window! You rush into your living room and find, in the midst of a pile of broken glass, a brick. A brick with a note tied to it! Hands trembling, you pick up the note and [[unfold it...->Poison Warning]]

(font: "Gloria Hallelujah")[To Whom It May Concern, You know who I am. Are you starting to feel your stomach aching? Feeling fever, nausea, and loss of appetite? Then I must regret to inform you that you only have one week to live. Yes, to avenge your ruining my life I have decided to inflict the ultimate penalty on you. Now, I could have had you shot or run down or dropped a grand piano on your head. (I had the perfect piano for that purpose, my ex-wife's!) But I decided I needed to make you suffer, to prolong your distress before your inevitable end! And so I poisoned you with a microneedle on the ring I was wearing! Oh, and just to let you know, there is NO antidote to the poison! So while I languish in this hell hole in upstate New York, I'll have the satisfaction of knowing you'll be in a hole six feet under in seven days! Ha, ha, ha, You Know Who] [[Uh-oh...->What Now?]]

You crumple the note in your hands. It's clear that your former boss was behind this! You think of going to the authorities, but what good will it do you? No, you need to think of how you are going to save your own life. The obvious thing to do is go to the hospital. Sure, the note said that there was no antidote to the poison, but what if there is? Maybe the doctors can still figure something out. Maybe the note is just a bluff and you're going to live after all. In fact, it occurs to you that you aren't feeling all the symptoms mentioned in the note. You're a bit nauseous, true. You aren't feeling too hungry, but you had a big dinner. And your temperature (you feel your forehead with the back of your hand) seems normal. So what do you do? Go to the hospital? Or ride it out? [[Go to the hospital->Doctor's Orders]] [[Ride it out->Life's Fitful Fever]]

You check into the emergency room. "I think I've been poisoned," you tell the receptionist. "It'll be eight hours," says the receptionist. You spend the rest of the night restlessly pacing the room and reading wrinkled issues of People magazine. As dawn breaks a doctor announces that he will see you. "Hmm," says the doctor after shining a light in your ear. "I've seen these symptoms before. It's been going around, unfortunately. An esoteric poison that people have been buying on the dark web." "So is there a cure doc?" you ask. "'Fraid not," says the sawbones. [[Not good...->A New Hope]]

You resign yourself to your fate. Maybe somehow you'll survive. Maybe the poison isn't so strong? No, wait a second. It is that strong. ($handleEndMacro: 23) ($checkpointMacro: "What Now?")

You slump. Have your efforts to find a cure all been in vain? You shake your doctor by the shoulders, your quivering eyes clearly showing that you are in the "bargaining" phase of grief. "Now hold on a minute there," says the doctor. He stares sideways at an eye chart, as if fearing to meet your gaze. "I heard rumors...Well, you didn't hear it from me, officially. If word got out they'd have my license! But there is a chance..." The doctor explains that at a cocktail party he overheard some talk about a group of monks, living in a secluded temple atop a high mountain in the middle of nowhere, who have mastered various bodily arts. One such art is the ability to purge poisons from the body. It's a slim hope, but can a group of hooded hermits really succeed where modern medicine has failed? Surely in this day and age you can't go believing everything you overhear at a cocktail party. Yet, there seems to be no other way to save yourself. What will you do? [[Seek out the monks->Vacation Time]] [[Forget about it->Life's Fitful Fever]] |skip)[[[Skip right to the monks' test as you've already read the following passages.->The Trial]]] (if: $startedTrial is true)[(show:?skip)]

"Where can these monks be found?" you ask. "Fresno," says the doctor. A few hours later, you are at work, telling your manager you need time off. "You just got here," he says. "And you're already doing important work. The Williams deal is vital to our company! After we lost the Richards deal last year we can't afford any more screwups." You promise that there is a good reason for this and that you'll make up for it later. But your manager is unconvinced. Perhaps telling him the whole story will change his mind, but how likely is it that he'll really believe you? [[Tell him the truth->Vacation Granted]] [[Forget about it->Life's Fitful Fever]]

You decide to come clean to your manager, and tell him how you were poisoned and that your only hope is to seek out a group of monks who can teach you how to save yourself. "Wait a second," says your manager. "Where did you say those monks lived?" "Fresno," you say. "Why didn't you say so!" exclaims your manager. He points to his head. "You see this hair? A few years ago I was bald as a cue ball. Then I heard at some cocktail party about these monks that could cure it. It's those guys! If they can do for you what they did for me it would be great! I'm approving your time off." You thank your manager profusely, and that afternoon [[make preparations for departure.->The Mountain]]

The next day, you find yourself at the foot of an enormous mountain just on the outskirts of Fresno, Colorado. (I bet you thought it was some other Fresno!) Already at over 5000 feet above sea level, you can feel the crisp clean breeze blowing against your skin. Only the ache in your stomach reminds you of why you are here. There is no road big enough for a car to drive on, so you hike up a winding trail. At times the path narrows to a perilous width. There are a few sections of gallery roads, with aged timbers jutting out of the rock. Some are missing, providing a dizzying view of the sky beneath through the gaps. By the time you reach the top of the trail, it is nearly night. If it weren't for the torches mounted on the walls, you would have missed the monastery, an imposing stone edifice seemingly hewn from the side of the mountain. [[You walk up to the front door and knock.->Greetings]]

You are admitted into the monastery. The entry hall is much bigger than you expected, with its ceiling obscured in distant shadow. Only a few flickering torches illuminate the hall, and provide scanty heat to ward the cold. A group of robed men approach you. Their leader steps forth to greet you. "Welcome," he says. "We have foreseen your appearance." "Wow," you say. "Do you have some sort of prescience or psychic power?" "No," says the head monk. "We received a phone call from your doctor." There isn't much time for pleasantries. After depositing your luggage in a sparsely furnished cell, you are whisked off to an even [[barer room at the heart of the monastery.->The Quest]]

"We have been told of your condition, and there is little time," says the head monk. "In order to purge the poison from your body, you must sit here all night and meditate." "Does it have to be tonight?" you ask. "I'm pretty tired and could use some shuteye." "Yes," replies the monk. "This is not just a battle for your body but your soul. He takes a long lit candle and places it on the floor in front of you. "You must meditate on this flame all night without rest. If you can do this, the poison will dissipate from your blood and you will live. But if you fall asleep..." He looks at the other monks, whose eyes shift nervously. Nothing more needs to be said. Oh, well, it can't be that hard, you think. After all you've always had trouble falling asleep at night. Then [[you yawn...->The Trial]]

Oh no! You realize that your fatigue is stronger than you thought. Your legs quake and quiver and your eyelids droop. You need to do something to stay awake, lest you fall asleep and succumb to the poison. Your mind races for options to stay awake. You could try singing - you've found it easy to stay up late doing karaoke. Then there's just plain talking to yourself. Some positive self-talk could keep you from dozing off. And there's one last possibility - just focusing on the candle. Although you wonder if that's just going to make you fall asleep faster... [[Sing->Belting Out The Hits]] [[Talk to yourself->Recital]] [[Stare at the candle->Let There Be Light]] (set: $startedTrial to true)

You start belting out all the songs you know. First "Yankee Doodle", then "Camptown Races". Next you warble "Home on the Range", attempt "The Star-Spangled Banner", and make a go at "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean". As you continue your crooning you feel more and more awake. The stone walls are reflecting and amplifying your voice better than any shower could. In your enthusiasm you pick up the candle and wave it in front of your face as if it were a microphone. "Jingle Bells" is followed by "Waltzing Matilda", and "Baby Shark" (the non-copyrighted version). You start to twirl and dance, your footsteps warming up the cold night. You truly feel alive! [[And then, the door to the room slams open!->Silence!]]

"All right," you say to yourself. "You can do it! You can stay awake! You aren't going to fall asleep! You aren't going to imagine falling on top of a big, comfy bed with a springy mattress and fluffy pillows filled with goose feathers and 1000-thread count sheets and a toasty down comforter..." You shake your head. It looks like your self-talk isn't helping to keep you awake. You're going to have to try something else to stay awake. [[Sing->Belting Out The Hits]] [[Stare at the candle->Let There Be Light]]

You know to purge the poison from your body you must do exactly as the monks say. You sit cross-legged on the cold stone of the cell and stare at the candle. Drowsiness assails you and your eyelids grow heavy and your limbs grow slack. Three times you nearly slump over in sleep, but you straighten yourself in time. Presently you realize that your attention is on the stones and you should be focusing on the candle. Then you realize that you shouldn't be looking at the candle, but focusing on the flame itself. The flickering fire grows larger and larger in your sight, and you feel your [[fatigue burning away like a sheet of paper.->Vision Quest]]

The light from outside nearly blinds you, but you see the monks of the temple. They all have their hands over their ears, and their eyes are wide and filled with panic. "Please stop!" says the head monk. "You're driving us all crazy with your awful singing! We'll do anything for you to stop!" He falls to his knees and holds out a wooden cup. "Look, here's an antidote for the poison you took. Just drink it and get out of here!" You take the cup into your hands. It's filled with a green liquid, which you can tell is still warm as an herbal steam wafts up from it. As you raise the cup to your, the monk leaps to his feet. "I have to warn you," he says. "This antidote does have some side effects. You could suffer dizziness, blurred vision, high blood pressure, blotchy skin, itchy earlobes, and webbed toes." You bring the cup closer to your lips. "And death." You stop. [[Drink anyway->Side Effects]] [[Don't drink->Passed the Test]]

Death is a possible side effect of the antidote? Well, you're going to die anyways so what do you have to lose? You drink the liquid from the cup, which has a faint grassy taste with overtones of sage. As the antidote travels to your stomach you feel the ache in your belly subside. In fact, you feel quite good, better than in years. "So what's this about side effects?" you say. "Do they show up in the next few days, or what?" All the monks are staring at you, and from the way their eyes are widening you sense something is wrong. You head suddenly feels a little heavier. Putting your hand to your forehead, you find that you have grown an extra foot there. Its toes are webbed. ($handleEndMacro: 24) ($checkpointMacro: "The Trial")

"Uh, I don't think I want to risk it," you say, handing the cup back to the head monk. To your surprise, he puts the cup to his lips and drains it. The head monk sees your surprise and explains. "We were testing you, my child. We wanted to see if you were willing to put in the work to purge your body of the poison, or if you wanted to take a shortcut to achieve your ultimate goal." "But the poison...?" you ask. "Has already been dispelled from your body. The moment you passed the test, you were cured." Sure enough, you realize that the ache in your belly has subsided, and you feel more hale and hearty than ever before. You thank the monks profusely but you have one question. "So what was in the cup actually?" "It's an herbal tea made from leaves cultivated in our temple," says the head monk. "With two shots of brandy. I use it to help me to sleep. I have the worst insomnia, you see." And with that, he promptly dozes off, barely caught in time by two acolytes who catch his slumping, drooling body. "Good night, then," you say. ($handleEndMacro: 25) ($checkpointMacro: "The Trial")

You consciousness transcends the bounds of space and time. Your brain feels like a glob of putty, stretched and pulled and imprinted on the newspaper of the cosmos, absorbing knowledge and wisdom. In your newly enlightened state, you find yourself questioning everything you ever knew. What if the past has already happened, and the future is yet to come? And what if the present is the thing you're experiencing right now. Like, this very minute? As you ponder these and a million billion other profound questions of this nature, you feel a sensation like a rubber band snapping in your brain. In the space of a single eyeblink, you find yourself back in the stone cell. [[The head monk is standing before you.->Enlightenment]]

"What was that?" you ask. You clutch your stomach. "Am I cured?" The head monk smiles. "You did well. But there is one more thing you need to do before you are truly purified." "What is it? Do I need to meditate more or go on a quest or - urk!" A surge of pain hits your stomach, and you promptly empty its contents on the cell's floor. Feeling relieved, you ask, "Was that it?" "Not quite," says the head monk. He hands you a mop. ($handleEndMacro: 26) ($checkpointMacro: "The Trial")

(text-size:2.0)[Accomplishments] (text-size:1.5)[[[Back->Title Screen]]] {= (for: each _i, ...(range: 1, $endingAccomps's length)) [ (if: $endingsFound >= $numEndingsNeeded's (_i)) [ (if: $endingAccompNew's (_i) is true) [ (text-style: "bold", "underline", "emboss")[(print: $endingAccomps's (_i) + "\n\n")] ] (else:) [ (print: $endingAccomps's (_i) + "\n\n") ] (set: $endingAccompNew's (_i) to false) ](else:)[ (print: $hiddenEndAccomps's (_i) + "\n\n")] ] (for: each _i, ...(range: 1, $accomplishments's length)) [ (if: $accompDone's (_i) is true) [ (if: $accompNew's (_i) is true)[ (text-style: "bold", "underline", "emboss")[(print: $accomplishments's (_i) + "\n\n")] ] (else:) [ (print: $accomplishments's (_i) + "\n\n") ] (set: $accompNew's (_i) to false) ](else:)[ (print: $hiddenAccomps's (_i) + "\n\n")] ] (text-size:1.5)[[[Back->Title Screen]]]

You awake with a start. You just had a strange dream, one in which you suffered from insomnia. And oddly enough, this dream didn't just show the events of one night, but seemingly multiple nights. You dreamt that you were counting sheep, that you got in a bar fight, that you encountered aliens and went into the Witness Protection Program. You spent the night at the movies and traveled to a monastery high up in the clouds. You marvel at all the adventures you thought you had, but really hadn't, and how real it all felt and seemed and smelled. But now you're back in bed and the moonlight streams through the windows onto your face and you know for sure that you are really, truly awake. It is past 2 AM, and you have to get up in five hours. You lie on your back and close your eyes. A few seconds later, you roll onto your left side. Then a few seconds more, you roll onto your right. It seems that you have insomnia... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XX=")[<h2>THE (TRUE) END CONGRATULATIONS!</h2>] (link-goto:"<h3>Restart</h3>", $startPoint)

Excitement around the world reaches a fever pitch as the existence of aliens is revealed. Every news outlet, from the largest network to the smallest blogger, has a presence in New York as everyone is desperate to hear the first message to humanity from another intelligent species. The hall of the General Assembly is absolutely packed with spectators, although you are seated in a VIP box. A hush descends on the crowd as Zolo and Zono enter the hall. Microphones are placed before them, and everyone [[leans forward to hear what they have to say.->We Come in Peace]]

Written by Leon Lin (leonwlin@gmail.com) Thanks to groggydog, and members of the Bay Area Interactive Fiction meetup group (Dan Fabulich, Jennifer Sheriff, Paula B., Zed Lopez, Travis, Hay) for their suggestions and feedback. Version 1.3 (4/1/2023) - 2023 Spring Thing release Created with: Twine 2.3.16 Harlowe 3.2.3 [[Back->Title Screen]]

{=(text-size: 1.25)[ (cycling-link: 2bind $subtitle, "Twenty-Six Adventures After Dark", "Can't Sleep, Count Sheep", "Sleeping Pills and Midnight Chills", "The Big Sleepless", "To Not Sleep, No Chance to Dream", "The Unravelled Sleeve of Care", "The Dark And 30% Stormy Night", "An Interactive Eye Opener", "One Sheep, Two Sheep, Can't Sleep, Bo Peep", "It's Better Than Procrastination" ) ]

(text-size: 1.25)[(link: $subtitle)[(go-to: "Choose Title")]]

(text-size: 2.0)[Choose a subtitle:] {= (for: each _i, ...(range: 1, $subtitlesList's length)) [ (if: $subtitlesList's (_i) is $subtitle)[ (text-size:1.1)+(text-style: "bold")[(link: $subtitlesList's (_i))[(set: $subtitle to $subtitlesList's (_i))(go-to: "Title Screen")](print:"\n")] ] (else:) [ (link: $subtitlesList's (_i))[(set: $subtitle to $subtitlesList's (_i))(go-to: "Title Screen")](print:"\n") ] ] <h3>[[Back->Title Screen]]</h3>

(text-size:1.5)+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[''[WARNING!]''] Do not read this story like you normally would. Unlike an ordinary story, where things happen and you the reader are powerless to do anything about it, you will experience an interactive, computerized narrative unlike any other! The story is divided into passages. At the end of each passage, you may be directed to make a choice as to how the story continues. Click on a link to make your choice. Your decisions will determine what happens in the story. Choose right and you will reach a happy ending! But make the wrong choice, and you will meet an unpleasant doom (and be forced to start over, the horror)! Good luck, and may the choice be with you! (text-size:1.5)+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[''[SPECIAL WARNING!]''] In your quest to beat insomnia, you may run into a number of shady characters! Just as a warning, anyone asking you to take them to your leader is definitely sus! Watch out! (text-size:1.5)+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[''EXTRA SPECIAL WARNING!''] Did you leave the bathroom faucet running? [[Click on this link to start the story!->The Beginning]]

(text-size:1.5)[WHAT ADVENTURES WILL YOU HAVE WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT? AN ENTHRALLING TALE WITH MORE THAN 25 ENDINGS!] But beware, your insomnia will take you into twists and turns that you would never suspect! One wrong move and you'll reach a most unfortunate end! [[You may be eaten by a shark->Eaten by a Shark]], or [[get dumped into a vat of hydrofluoric acid!->Acid Pit]] [[You might save the Mayor's daughter->Saved the Mayor's Daughter!]] or [[hang glide into the Mojave desert!->Hang Gliding Away]] Or maybe none of these things happen in this story because who wants to be spoiled by the stuff written in the introduction? [[What really happens? Click on this link to find out!->Warning!]]

The shark circles you, its many rows of sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight. You thrash around in the water for a little bit, but to no avail. A few seconds later, all that is left of you is a pack of chewing gum, which the shark does not eat as it is bad for its teeth. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=X=")+(text-size: 1.25)[THE END] [[Okay, this isn't really in the story. Go back now!->Front Matter]]

You try to wriggle out of your bonds, without any success. Fumes from the vat of acid below waft up to tickle your legs and sting your nostrils. You hope some deus ex machina might come in and save you at the last moment, but alas, this is not that kind of story. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=X=")+(text-size: 1.25)[THE END] [[Okay, this isn't really in the story. Go back now!->Front Matter]]

"My hero!" says the mayor's daughter, as she embraces you. "It's nothing," you say. "You also saved me!" says the mayor's wife, who hugs you too. "All in a day's work." "Don't forget me, you really pulled my chestnuts out of the fire!" says the mayor, wrapping his big, chunky arms around the three of you. "Uh, it's getting a little stuffy in here," you say. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=X=")+(text-size: 1.25)[THE END] [[Okay, this isn't really in the story. Go back now!->Front Matter]]

With your pet squirrel Fluffy on your shoulder, you glide gracefully through the sky, borne by the gentle nighttime desert wind. Below you the majestic expanse of the desert stretches before you, endless vistas of yellow sand punctuated by the occasional flowering cactus and striated rocks jutting into the sky against the glittering stars. It's such a peaceful sight that you sigh with pleasure and say to no one in particular, "Thank goodness for my insomnia! If it wasn't for that, I'd never be out here seeing such a lovely sight. In fact, it's so beautiful, I have to wonder if this is a dream! How can I possibly know?" "I don't know," says Fluffy, "How can you know?" (align:"=><=")+(box:"=X=")+(text-size: 1.25)[THE END] [[Okay, this isn't really in the story. Go back now!->Front Matter]]