fix it

(set:$try to 0)(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[ (set:$counter1 to 0)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter1 to it +1)(if: $counter1 is 1)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)[(text-style:"bold","italic","expand")+(size:1.8)+(text-colour:#D2172D)[fix it]]]] (set:$counter2 to 0)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter2 to it +1)(if: $counter2 is 3)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(size:0.8)[by lily boughton]]] (set:$counter4 to 0)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter4 to it +1)(if: $counter4 is 6)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)[[[begin->begin]]]]] (set:$counter3 to 0)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter3 to it +1)(if: $counter3 is 4)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(size:0.75)[[[author's note->note]]]]] ]

hello there! welcome to your life! there are many [[things->things]] for you to do today but first, there is a slight issue you would like to be [[comfortable->comfortable]] and currently you are [[not->not]] please fix this issue before continuing with your life [[fix it->fixit]]

yes, there are many things you could be doing! some of these things are very enjoyable some of these things simply have to be done you should proceed with these things, but first you must fix the issue [[return->begin]]

hmm, what does comfort mean? well, it's simple everything that you are feeling right now? that should be different it's only a minor issue, however you can fix it immediately [[return->begin]]

oh, you are definitely not comfortable right now just think about it yes- right there? what you're thinking about now? very uncomfortable, I think you'll find don't worry, though- all you have to do is fix it [[return->begin]]

(set: $try to it + 1)welcome! (if: $try is 2)[have you tried fixing it? please try harder.] (if: $try is 3)[have you tried fixing it somewhere else?] (if: $try is 5)[you're wasting so much time.] (if: $try is 7)[why are you doing this?] (if: $try is 8)[I hate you so much sometimes.] (if: $try is 10)[have you tried fixing it somewhere else? maybe it will work this time.] (if: $try is 13)[have you tried fixing it? try harder this time.] (if: $try is 14)[please just try harder. it shouldn't be this hard.] (if: $try is 15)[if you want to be comfortable, you should just fix it this time.] please fix it: (text-style:"shudder")+(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[//''fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! fix it! [[fix it!->worse]] fix it! fix it! fix it!''//] (if: $try is >= 16)[(text-colour:blue)[[[take a deep breath->breathe1]]]]

congratulations! you have not fixed anything in fact, you have made things much worse (if: $try >= 3)[your fingers are now [[shaking->1]] and you're so very tired (if: $try >= 4)[[[uh oh!->2]] you are bleeding! (if: $try >= 5)[so [[stupid->3]] (if: $try >= 6)[normal people aren't like [[this->4]] (if: $try >= 7)[haha, you're [[bleeding->5]] again (if: $try >= 8)[let's try somewhere [[new->6]] (if: $try >= 9)[you must [[love->7]] feeling this way (if: $try >= 10)[and you're bleeding [[again->8]] (if: $try >= 11)[and [[again->9]] (if: $try >= 12)[if only you had the [[strength->10]] to stop (if: $try >= 13)[but I just love watching you [[repeat->11]] yourself (if: $try >= 14)[as if you have [[nothing->12]] better to do (if: $try >= 15)[and you're [[bleeding->13]] again, how stupid]]]]]]]]]]]]] please try again [[fix it->fixit]]

(size:0.8)[Hey there! Thank you for your interest in (text-style:"bold","italic","expand")[fix it]. Before you begin, please be aware that this game has some themes that some might find distressing. Specifically, this game explores some thoughts and behaviours that may be associated with obsessive compulsive disorder and related disorders, anxiety disorders, self-harm, and other mental health issues. There are no images in this game, though I have chosen to make use of animated text effects, which are present at certain parts of the game. If you are concerned about your ability to safely interact with this game, please remember that you can exit at anytime by clicking out of the currently open tab. Take care of yourself.] [[return->title]]

(set: $try to 10) oh? you can do that, but it won't fix anything (text-colour:blue)[[[breathe in->inhale1]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[breathe out->exhale1]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)[... okay and what has this accomplished? you still haven't fixed the problem if you would like to be comfortable, you have to fix the problem [[fix it->fixit]] (text-colour:blue)[[[take another deep breath->breathe2]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[stretch->stretch1]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[ground yourself->ground1]]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)[... you're not fixing it it's not right you're still uncomfortable please... just fix it [[fix it->fixit]] (text-colour:blue)[[[take another deep breathe->breathe3]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[stretch->stretch1]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[ground yourself->ground1]]]]]]

(text-colour:blue)[[[breathe in->inhale2]]]

(text-colour:blue)[[[stretch your arms->stretch2]]]

(text-colour:blue)[[[describe 5 things you can see->ground2]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[breathe out->exhale2]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[stretch your neck->stretch3]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[stretch your legs->stretch4]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[stretch your fingers and toes->assess]]]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)[... do you feel present in your own body? do you feel grounded in the space around you? (text-colour:blue)[[[yes->yes]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[not yet->no]]]]]]

okay you may notice that you are still uncomfortable but what you do next is your choice would you like to continue [[fighting->fixit]] against your discomfort? or would you like to make space for that feeling and (text-colour:blue)[[[move on->moveon]]] with your day, knowing that your discomfort may stay with you for a while longer?

okay what would you like to do about that? [[fight against your discomfort->fixit]] (text-colour:blue)[[[take another deep breath->breathe3]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[stretch->stretch1]]] (text-colour:blue)[[[ground yourself->ground1]]]

(text-colour:blue)[[[breathe in->inhale3]]]

... (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[breathe out->assess]]]]]

if you can, describe them in detail - their colours, their shapes, their textures (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[describe 4 things you can touch->ground3]]]]]

you can actually touch them, if you'd like - what do they feel like? (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[describe 3 things you can hear->ground4]]]]]

try to distinguish specific sounds and pick out their unique qualities (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[describe 2 things you can smell->ground5]]]]]

can you notice the subtle smells in the space around you? (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[describe 1 thing you can taste->ground6]]]]]

is there something you can taste right now? if not, pay attention to the way your mouth feels or the taste of the air (set:$counter to 5)(live: 1s)[(set: $counter to it -1)(if: $counter is 0)[(stop:)(t8n:"dissolve")+(t8n-time:1s)+(text-colour:blue)[[[finish grounding->assess]]]]]

thank yourself for taking the time to practice self-compassion and tolerance of your own feelings it isn't always easy be kind and gentle, and do something to take care of yourself (text-color:blue)[[[end->title]]]

are they really? you're probably just imagining it exaggerating your silly little problems in your own mind [[return->worse]]

did you mean to do that? did you mean it? wash your hands again [[return->worse]]

you'd think it would be obvious you'd think you could've figured it out by now [[return->worse]]

not like you doing damage on purpose [[return->worse]]

oh, come on wash your hands again, and wash it all away [[return->worse]]

pick a new target I'm sure this time you'll feel better [[return->worse]]

hmm, you must love the attention otherwise you wouldn't do this to yourself [[return->worse]]

silly, stupid thing let's go, wash your hands again [[return->worse]]

wash your hands again it won't last long [[return->worse]]

you? you've tried to quit so many times this agony clings to you, so keep nurturing it [[return->worse]]

how long have you been stuck in this loop? go on, take yourself apart again [[return->worse]]

silly thing, wasting so much of your time where do the minutes go? the hours? the days? [[return->worse]]

good wash your hands again [[return->worse]]