Manifest No

(align:"==><==")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''//Manifest No// by Kaemi Velatet''] --- //Manifest No// is an eluma (hypertext novel) about survival in a flooded world. You read this eluma by clicking links to new passages. [[Start->mstart1]]: Enter the story. [[Chapters->mchapters]]: Select a chapter to read. [[Advisory->madvisory]]: Peruse a content advisory.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter I''] --- Heartbeats breaking on plague gates guarding my no home. Beneath swollen stars oozing gaps in my midnight shadowsole of solitudes by phantoms severed, unspeakable remainders in gnarled beneaths false captures [[glistening->mglistening]] the sickle stasis of soon to be a story or silence in struggling to keep meanings unmolten to sluice my blood's drums' charges, ludic illucids, the barely holding on, the grinning what you think is the smile they expect, down whatever trestles chain not their channels to a leaden symbol sky, but hyperventilation shears the slung to torn as unborn rebornes [[subterranean->msubterranean]] rise offblack golems pulling from the gel scimitaring hillbacks opposed crescents merging in the righting to a dark engulf split by a white scar still yet pulsing, emulsing minerasynth, broke my threshold sanity, squirming gasping cool tile as in burst my head that wrenching everything at the end of the [[suppression->msuppression]] emotion's return to the ever more too heavily laden, gladiators with moon mouths bloodfeasting communal consumeds sundered, whirling zero of any sentence by which to read the chaos as the world crunched inwards, as dizzy sinking peered I the edge over into the backdrop drone that would never cease, continuity naked. Drizzling through my containment snowsilver [[shivery->mshivery]] translucence surface as time the sleet hovers over in its stilled ship staring down at reflector moonglitter which sparks out whys which never does its denial answer. Why is this [[hollow->mhollow]] compressing my spirit, lost infinity in my mute scream. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Ice's rhythm seeps us closed. Shush in the ambient [[dew->mdoused]]: let space whisper a nave to listen prison the wishless. Do not, never attempt to summit to voice, let it go, live this less, litter your senses on the contours of your tenseness. Hunched over by the blanket dry not [[coagulating->mcoagulating]] to a cough clam your soiled linen palms as stigmata of its substance; neck bobbing weakly on a shrunken chest, lulled lids washing sleep on a shaking no, knees so far below no blood dares to the tightening there, no taste of the toes, no feeling, nod, nod into this, the [[border->mjet]] into yourself cannot be uncrossed. Be in the break, says the bittercage. Why not? You're not real, you are after real.

Possession of the second loses the tingling depressures. Impassion impossibles the afterash I ache in unsaid. Lost in the [[echo->mjet]] even as it happens, events do not happen when they happen, but a lag lingers us through the motion, skitter through glitchy vistas resplendently rainbow gradients of goneness inclade of your exclusive lie. From this gap you gape at the [[solidifying->mcoagulating]] like a statue as a sculptor sees it, at last the completion crawls back to unveil the [[undone->mshattered]]. Uncanny to watch yourself perform and see the moments you can retract your performing. So much could you as you seethe in your cannots, settle in your cannots, our only blankets.

Threadbare couches and the more torn people on them. Machinedeath barrelchest stolid in the corner refusing steamheat, guttural rust chortles enforcing removal empty echo buzz null migraines, terse whisper between parents with kids in earshot, no more anything, no less than this nothing. Bent over a cup with nothing in it. Where was I or a soul to be me... could I, in lifting my neck up like so, see through clot dark... slunk into this half drive wasting I remembered [[her->mlove]] in the dimness slivery silvery by the mausoleum gated by stone ringlets cut from falling limbs, causeways on the now unnamable from which chilling vastness gradually in its aeon way took up a [[sedation->mcoagulating]] tone. Which of her faces did she wear then, which debris spilled out my reply? In the infinity of her shadow I chased her endless recession but over myself stumbled to lay among broad figures clumped in the dusk lethargically waiting to strain to the work as guileless watcher I in the bedlam comfort lapped against their heels. Thoughts sought through to the end cleft [[jet->mjet]] impressions, consistent space, why do you embrace as poison, why keep me pressed when all within wills to melt the duress to a duration to wilt in waiting, pallbearer resentment, no awareness unaware of what this was, teeth like knifewinged vultures circling words wriggly on a tongue antsy to spit what rotted there, where is the who I am without this am I, nod into this you who are weaned on brown, chase the swollen false promise surreptitious in your occlusion maze, clear the ash for the ceaseless yowling, worship the nocturnal yellowing promised by birth, to shelter. Ceaseless counting not quite a pulse.

Heavy glows in the lunules wet like [[firefly->mjet]] light thrown into an acid bath seeming to suggest the possibility of a tearing [[apart->mshattered]] in the scuttled crackle leer. Turning my head could not stop foreshortening the open pipes above the bar to a single jagged fang plunge piercing our floating desire that strung us like charms beneath an ever fainter benediction. Some figure staggered, eighteen angles splitting its tumbling shadow on as veins semivisible crimson yarns tautly flexed along the eyeline's trembles, the push from the neck that surges from the drink, from the not quite acceptance mien, beetling assurance that now is far too late for. Sepia ashes of the splattered night's once charged littered our less and less substance, what bubbles beneath forgotten as the back rests on black waters. Wallowed we in the mess we made, dragged through low passion yells to banter to something lower, [[drunker->mcoagulating]] and whatever that masked, we slurred ourselves to misshape the portrait. Crinkled not yets in hunched spines bobbing to a communion suggestion, canceled yesterdays in a denied today. Brooding behind us were two Umae's that nobody knew as if the night's own eyes had come to see what disturbed it. A hollow hand signal showed what the grime genuflected, and I knew without nodding. A ragged crowman cawed praise to the matchsticks before melding back in my migraine's protored prodding.

Thumbnail dragged along the palm's meridian desert digging, tear into the sweat harder, transgress this border. Jaufr emerged from my inability to bear the lack of an absence, under the light his frame unlit looms undergrowths of foregones, forgottens, forge of fomenteds, seeming to teem impossibles to touch, desperate to touch, cannot scent his closure, everything he says singes in these dreams closed awokens. Begging for his sound to true in saliva failing to construe the way this tongue weeps, wish could I kiss his ankles, beg his angles stay their infinites, forever lost the chase, no more the racing after, something half true still grander than all these wanderings, unslaken treaders for springs upon the burning after. He will not [[relent->mrelent]], wish could I drink this from him, but he washes away my will with stained breath waves studded with strangled elsewise, hand shaking ravaged earths running downhill in a lightless longing spilling dribbles viscously prepostviolence. "But not to its worst part eh, so's how's should I feint so meh, coming round behind to everyone, unneeded, because, and this is the thing, right, there's never value what can't be externalized, living for yourself the worst most terrifying, because any given day must be earned by the experience, when rarely does any day earn existing in it, the few that do embitter the gray ash, and I'm not, you know I'm not trying to cheap to the emote, you know how much I hate those who exacerbate the, the, but isn't it true so, the extent, to an extent, I've tried my best to make things better, but they all hate me, everyone, all of them, but infinitely the everyone she was, the entirety of her, a world what wants nothing of me, compels me to perform that none, how's that my soul isn't supposed to shatter, how, and like, so what was it for, who was it for, what did I create then? Because if any meaning you make is stored in stories told by strangers, and like we have this fantasy, daydream, somehow it all adds up right, some benevolent, omniscient narrator will rescue us from the melee, tell us honestly, but we can see for ourselves what has been added up, rare waking with any of yesterday but the aches, forget past years, lives… if nobody remembers me as fighting for their good, and nobody alive considers my fighting any good, then who, Emnin, who? I thought it was her, and yes, okay, sure, a little vain, little selfish, but those who want their saints ascetic are welcome to the lashes decades in the dark, I yearned to taste something precious in the mode, to fight for a justice I could summon, we could delight a togetherness, even when it wasn't mine I, I… but it's not, none of it is… so who’s supposed to care eh, who's the one left openpursed forced to close all our eyes one by one before the sea swallows our momentaries? Who for it yeah if no one holds the debts, nature? Nature tried to drown us all, seems content to starve us out of this Tower, shows what it cares hey. Even if I do consider myself noble, good, just, they drown those in their snarks, so what's it matter I wasn't selfish, evil, cruel? If I lift the world, my spine snaps, we plummet to the abyss, then why should they not curse me the same as if I never strained against the inexorable? Shall I prove blue to spite the green? Living the rebel up to a flame worth the snuff? Should I shower in the welter aye, get soaked in the nowhere sethen? I'll prove my soul to you, you consumers, come split my skull and suck the solution I'll store there! Why shouldn't they judge how I numb it? Isn't that the essential eventual, that to get through to whatever end we imagine, we must slake the numbness? Who cares where, we'll worry we won't reach it when next our anxieties beg us besieged [[shattered->mshattered]], but I beg my where nothing, beat myself into its frame victorious, mightiest of warriors brawls before you strengths! Grab me another pour, yeah won't you, Emnin? I'll send you lot groveling my majesty, unassailed, unbuckleable by any poison, isn't it shouldn't it be so? What, you don't want? You balk me, doubt my impervious then? Prove yourself up to the, up to the show, why don't you, let’s make a night of your heresy, shall we aye, aye, hey, you're not willing to say I can? You're like them again yeah, no difference anymore brutalizer, you of all, of all, even, not you too, why don't you believe me, you have to, you must, at least you Emnin, no, you, you've always held me in contempt, don't you, always had the wry distance to unavail yourself my [[mistakes->mmistakes]], would rather slink away my spasms sincerity, don't think I have no right to anything, to, that I can't do what I must, what, what's so easy for me? You don't believe me, think I'm lying? Admit it like the rest. You've againsted me. You're out against our [[bond->mcradling]]. Always have been! Always been alone."

For the fifth time in four minutes his nudge nearly knocked me over, one more and it would, would I crash into his sea. "Don't do this, you're better than this, this doesn't have to be like this." I. "Doesn't have to be? Everything with you has to be but me. You're against me. You don't think I can! You think I'm like Olyasz, can't set deep, ha! Don't you squirm out. Animal like the rest of them, incapable of guessing what isn't present. Shame on me ever the thought else. No one, hey! No one here believes I can shot my each coin? No one, not one of you worthless? Well, you're all doubters, know that? Always said, people who don't believe don't live in, in, or maybe you're afraid, eh, so's your call? Hate the thought I can, can get away with... you're afraid, of me lah, but all too stuck up to admit it proper, none's the balls to put coin on. See you all shaking in your boots fleabitten, beisza [[disgust->mdisgust]] me. Miserable wastrels is what you are. Yeah, that's right, go on then, slink lower in your drinks, pretend you don't see! Isn't that what you've always done. Come on! Don't believe me, say it. Put coin on. Show me a desire, I beg you, any man worthy of one. I forget what they look like." "Jaufr, please." "No, don't you weasel your way out of this, Emnin! Emnin doesn't think I got it, you all know that? And we've been as we could for how long? But he tears us weak, can't uncoward his purse, not like you lot. I know there's among you, hey, look at me! I demand to be seen. Who wants to see me shot seven to the grimiest Benni's stacked? I'll do anything, your pick so, as already got some in me it's a winning bet, you cowards, you craven, you failures to dream!" "More than some," Marko to some laughs.

"Just wish to slush another's fortune," as if arisen from the ice a pulse missmisted Leiska from the crowd, "as if you haven't enough vampirism to your name." Frost aura enjambed his jumbles and shapes all snarling, but the world oozed in to parse his disparity. Jaufr clapped him a rival wink. "Shrug the worry ace, if I can't yeah, I'll pay it all myself, and double, honor best." "Said yourself you're skint to seven," Marko. "How you measure eh?" "I'll slave up the cleanse. As many dawns as it takes I'll go. Benni's in it, aren't you? You'll let me. You're in on it. You're a rounder." "Yeska, Jaufrei." "You're in on it," Jaufr. "Benni's in. He'll let me. I'll work it off." "Alright, dyenne," Leiska spat. "You're on. Seven shots. I choose what of." "Go the call, ye mighty," Jaufr grinned graceless. "I'll down it, as you the mood." Darkening inward into slaughtering the animal there and then, blood gushing his vengeance tides across the seasick floor, relishing squeals and retches of death, like my spirit was stolen in his stare I felt him feel it, but Leiska glided his imaginative hells to the shelves. On the bottom row half hidden clumped some filthdrafts, one behind the rest a storm frozen in damp. A dagger tongue parted Leiska's lips like a pick hacking his block of ice. "That one way down yah, Benni?" Benni followed the gesture, then crept his pupils away. "That's, uh, no no, that's an old cutpurse brew curdled up in underdens overline. No Winners or the like. It's, I mean you know how they are overline, makes you vomit, that's their thing isn't it, pain and spasms the taste, unique feelings bottled to their expectations of feelings. You, you know how they are. It's gross, utter trash ah, but kept it a curiosity, uh, a game to keep up the laughs for the mettle over mind, but I, it's, not like this, you're not supposed to, it'd be stupid to take seven shots, poisoning yourself you are. Ridiculous, juvenile so, no way the worth, earning the clouds such a thing, making a mistake if –" "Abandon him his own decisions," Leiska waved the back of a semiclenched fist. "Jaufrei knows how to use thoughts, so he thinks. Let him decide how he, if he." Skeptical stares, even I behind him burned. Jaufr disappeared into the moment's gap, but when he climbed out to meet us his shoulders eased, he thumped his chest, hollow bluntness. "I can do it. Look at all you, doubtful. I'll prove to each of you, just watch, I'll show myself victor, seven shots can't lessen my resolving." "Excellent," Leiska clasped his hands. "Tonic the yego, Benni, I'll tab." Benni shook his head and just kind of sighed. "Total waste this, though suppose you can't waste waste." Summoning the bottle from the bottom shelf seemed to scar the room with newly intense attention. From the wound of the air's throat bled mutual hurricane dilating the dripping into mugs to bleak dots blurred to be behind our eyelids nightmare of the scopeless melding of a million things the same size jammed, but the growing and juttering did not shrink the challenger, not outwardly. Plucking of empty soiled cups gnashed a darklit roaring. I swallowed: saliva like the taste of a grate. Seven shots pooled the dim flickers, hinting at deeps. Benni didn't recap the bottle, didn't seem to want to believe he'd even held it. Hesitation. Sinister across Leiska curled. "Well, it's there for you, don't waste it, or are you as less as your taunts make you? Thought so myself, but all seven you said, though now eh? Imagination not the real world? Strange you'd finally face that. We didn't believe you, but you swore us dizzy, didn't you, keeper of the count? One for" let the words singe "[[every->mevery]] [[single->msingle]] [[coin->mcoin]] [[you->myou]] [[have->mhave]] [[left->mleft]]."

Listing sideways towards the door a lament for where no longer can we go Jaufr bent into the bolted, shutjaw dewhisperer alive with never again can be shareds. Soaked by the sunrise ghost that will not pierce this mum nocturne. Decay snakes through skin the extinguishability. If I touch him, will he evaporate? Desire to appear inside his holding cells together. Leans into the leans into the stutter free from expectations into the dance to music we must imagine. Following him trembling the ripples soundless to subsume, buried in the breath. Shadows he casts I color, I pall his wake. Densening into the [[doused->mdoused]] dapple maple caked slitsill's silt, accumulate of many and many a moon dusted and forgotten. Wish could I worship his dreamtwists mystic, but in the grayscale sigh he simply twists, and I cannot dream. Glades from the clutter we carve call us not by the names we shimmer within their moonlit gloom but submit to the winds' cold longing cognomen. Who should we be to face the moon? He hints into the forest darkness, and I stagger crawl after, the roots gnarl and knot, lose track of his shadow recessive, touch him cannot, kissing how the earth breaks to riot life trapped. In every landscape we imagined, as more uncertain delved the fantasy, would wake to find myself alone, his quiet marking a distance I could not retread, not now, in the shards of a world he had ceased to share. Mechanistic angels fallen quintessence of aesthetics teased but torn, artwork sways which should have raved the darkening to gloam, speak now of a time that did not come to pass, in how we fail to arraign reply thus to dust, but no annunciation ripostes the damnation drone of rays of change which changed slowly to the lenticular venetian vaulted, [[cagecry->mlethe]] closure. Jaufr feinted flangely disjuncture gels the scene to television fizz. Forward I leaped to assist his splattered, nurture him back to stance, but onto a sofa stumbled we, nodded him into my increasingly [[cradling->mcradling]]. "I feel, sorry, am I, sickened, Emnin..." Jaufr. "What's wrong? You look, oh gods, you're, so, eha..." "Can't get the head of it, just nausea the suddenly. I'm sorry, didn't mean to... did they see, that lot? Speak for it hor?" "It's just me, Jaufr." "That's good then, that's good. Sorry about." "No, there's, never the worry then, let's, shall we find some other night?"

"I can, I will so," Jaufr turned not to face him. "Be patient. You'll see." "We're all waiting." "Just give me a second!" Jaufr tentatively – No, deep breath. Trying to hide his shaking Jaufr reached for the first cup. Too much doubt, too many smirks, he closed his eyes to them, to us was it, sought an outer anything other than this dread, and [[drank->mseizures]] like it meant something. Jaufr's face warped an unnatural – "You okay?" I – Cough penance doubled over grunted to not cry out like a child. Laughter undulations. "Yeska, Jaufrei, you alright?" Benni leaned over the counter. "This isn't worth it kid, can't do six more of this stuff. It's not funny, it'll kill you, poisonous lah. This is stupid." "I'm alright!" Jaufr hacked. "I'm alright. I, can do, another. I'm good, never better eunh."

"Let's see it so," Leiska. Provocation enough. Jaufr realigned his jaw, snatched the second cup, downed it. Staggered back with wounded steps clutching at the air beast of the cinnabar gaze scouring for stability in the spinning thumping. Reddish prevomit rivulets ran. Agony wrenched his eyes apart to gawp at what caverns above us, [[pleading->mseizures]] with soot skies he shook. Teminu shoved him back to the counter where Jaufr his head crack slump slapped on whose heels. He heaved. "Fjelske!" Benni. "That's enough! Leave the sot off. I'll keep tab." "Let him decide," Leiska would have snapped had it not been supernaturally even. "It's his choice." "No it isn't! Not anymore. My pub, my draft, my rules, I count him gone." "Shut up, Benni," Jaufr grueled. "I can do it. I don't need your pity." "Hell's wrong with you mate?" "Just shut it. I got it. None of you think I can do, but I can, watch, just watch. This stuff is nothing." "Suit yourself hey, but you're an idiot you keep drinking that. Literal poison that is, actual bodybreaking kepka. You're going to die." "Pride's a cliff to those below," Jaufr. "I can carry the world's soul." "Trash platitudes won't pump your heart."

Angry at too much to sort through, what else to do? He [[downed->mseizures]] it. A seemingly single second ticked six til the vomit blew, some of it blood, most of it blood. Sweat or tears slathered his contorted. Benni cursed his lip curled. Teminu mocked a pat on the back which jolted Jaufr like a stab, and he arched like an alleycat against the filthpool on the floor blurbling rage drowned in shock to become confused whimpering. Teminu laughed. Marko hid himself behind a sip of rum. Gap sized to my objection… my whole spirit sagged under the weight of standing. Nothing but noise in my head, creak open my eyes and why be surprised that's what's there?

"Number four to take," Leiska picked Jaufr up. "Ey don't so glum kid, three's more than I thought. You're getting somewhere." "I'll, bluh, and it won't, I'll show you, you all, geskecz," Jaufr snaked his arm through the thick obscurity. "It won't even, be..." "We'll see yeah, go on then, show us what you are." Breathing through his sweat. Still he found the fourth shot, and postteenage brashness knocked it back. Once more he fell to the floor, and there he laid for too long to laugh at, delirious, spewing, writhing in convulsions amidst his filth. Comedy's brink to tragedy belled. Marko looked at Tyese; Tyese looked at Teminu; Teminu looked at Marko; Marko looked at me. The question wailed beneath us. The Umae's [[receded->mseizures]] as if the night knew and needed no more. "You're getting there," Leiska dragged Jaufr back to stance. "Leiska, hey..." "Let him do it, Marko," Leiska smiled. "Fjelske, you're sick men, both of you, all of you, every single one of you," Benni slashed his finger across us. "I hope you all live to regret this, Jaufr especially." A twist of the heel and he marched out of the room.

"I can, I can do..." a lapse, perhaps, of consciousness "I can, tota, total... do, jus... watch, you'll, see. You'll all, see." "That's it, buddy," Leiska pulled Jaufr close. "You got this." "You're right, I..." I muttered tears already soaking the sweat cold. I shook my whole being in the attempt to shake my head no. Leiska supported Jaufr's head back like a baby and gently poured the fifth shot over a gurgling mouth, a babbling, dirt brown liquor in a fizzed froth sinking to a purpose. Thrashes [[muted->mseizures]] to twitches.

Before anything resembling swallowing, Leiska added the sixth, and a shout, but more like a cry, a gargled plea brimming faintly like the memory of throwing fire, a last loveless laugh turned inward, exited the body like a soul, and after [[seizures->mseizures]] a smothered breathing stopped where nothing ever started again.

Atrocity haze. Numbly nodding into acquiescence of irrevocably inexorability. Welling up at the thought, at the reality, wincing kneeling before pleading with the serpent translator. This doesn't have to be; nothing does, but something has to was, is it this, is it him? Blurblaze of transience, plume of flames my palms, cannot reach, my fingerprints the fire. Leiska's wolf slits prickled me still. He let the body drop. "You're his friend, aren't you, Leiru?" I stared at him like one stares at [[encroaching->mencroaching]] cataclysm: [[wordlessly->mwordlessly]]. "Clean up your mess."

When did it fade, the last light, that now we wander midnight? Where was this hope we tasted in lost dawns warmth of a might begun shut forever in thus [[hell->mhell]]? How does time keep going when we do not? We're still in there in soul, the glaze yoke gleam, stretching together with no expectation of the day but that it will happen, that one of us might happen within it, that this might be the hour cast back by our memory when we lie in the dimming, the thinning, the salivaless and mucus, our damnation. How often we seemed unlimited by often or rarely, how rarely we found in the chill black what the what we were looking for was. How little I remember. How can I have lived so many years under this sun and still see it as alien as when we were strangers? I don't know what has happened to us, can't find the years when we were, how have I ended up in our ended, how is he here like this, how can he, can't be, how can he can't be? As if at any moment his color might flush up to us laughing like in all the would be memories I thirst to recall in this now blankness. As if at any moment he, any more moment of he. Trying to brush into his skin the feelings I stored there, to feel if they are still real, if he is still, if this is real. Like I have blinked and missed decades and no one remains. Like no one was ever here at all, even me. Like these tears contain any silver but the echo. Somehow it never matters when it does. Somehow it never matters that it does. Somehow the fire does not forge, we simply go out. Somehow we, no, I. Somehow I see in him my mother's face, and they both unstare back. What is happening? No, what is not happening, that is what is, all that it is. We never feel the present until it is [[past->mdeath]]. Leaving home loss by loss until you have none, never had one. Isn't that what I am holding? What am I holding? How can it not be Jaufr? I can't breathe, and worse, I can. Why do I still take in moments, impressions, ideas, when I was never and never will be more than he was? I cannot contain more, but I go on to more, no, I go on to less. I live the lessness my withered to fill it.

From beneath my horizon gate I inched out to where lay Jaufr dead. Slid about his shoulders my arms the last act of an old habit. I did not move, because he did not move, and I... somehow I slumped into myself like swallowing your soul, our motions staggered mutual nowhere to the Docks, how limp he lay in my drudging dragging, hope echoes muted in a lockmaw sludged silence through which I drew this corpse to the Docks to trace his signature in the material both of us pretended was pliable in littered slowly smoke congeals in our lungs unto sleep assumption of the darkness, into our together against the cold we lay where he shares with me the nothing, so much more does he now. Absences had I been this as in prophecy of this shiver... why, why must this, reeled repulsed from the body, gasping, a little crying, kneeling to cradle, lifting us to the [[caustic->mhell]] that strips us of what we did yet not ken until that's all we hold… could I be a child again without innocence nepenthe, see so much soon to be burned beauty and relish precious relics as they still anoint gleam the motion to geist, learn what these moments were while in them, live in the count aware, love everyone to the degree of their fading, only then might there be life before death, might there be an innocence not ignorance, and all its attendant joy impossibles. If I could see my loves and kiss them before they in turn kill us could I die on any pyre blissful to damn the rest with twice the terror of this trauma, but trudgers teased by prophesies to race and trip to muddrip sleight beneath this sludge I an ash of an anger fertilizing all this [[death->mdeath]] will raise my childrenless to fear, because I will love them non. These nails lengthen to goliath against my unresolved so I might capture the moon and crush hug it to this earth, swallowing the world in water, so might I peer into this mystic moonness its enigma trick to asleep like the rest assure me comes, if you wait, wait, wan, yearning this is the first last time to erupt me free of time, free of any time but this exact second, how stiff he is, and he is, he isn't.

Dizzy drenched in inaction, powerless but to the sweeping forceds, thrown away together, Jaufr and I in one last passing, a lot can be learned from a dead friend's face. Behind me shadows stalked their tips, dull lengths in the hidden sun elongating a chase, but kneeling I whispered only Jaufr's name, a present with no exits, and I alonely sent that senseless creature to the sea silently screaming, solitary as all lost are in the shadows that fill feelingless collapse to currents darting into I forth from this endless peering to a shifted refraction to follow his sinking, glowing blue eradication unto which I cradled this finish with a wish to be kept by the place to which his head had always been native, please assume, I shouted it through my no throat, please assume a seraph in which I might shelter beyond a roaming from ruins to ruinanointed altars, a purity threatening completion which, well, who will accept their undiluted self, who will stand before a nonskewed mirror not bubbling regret though darkening unharkened an intensity demonizes the vein [[static->mstart2]] to flushed flashes supinely distorted bending before what this body cleaves as it breaks away from this arrow kingdom in which nothing must remain unshot, a crypt in which to wander ghostly pale, remnants that knew not how to fade like shades of an understanding, dusts of the imperious ephemeral, eternity wilted on our sleepless convulsing, this never amending moment which throws beyond the impenetrable veil a fire roaring right behind our scattered dwellings whose name our lying failed to fulfill, our being a plague with no remedy outside the faint blush glimmering this sinking body films, ether temples deep in the undervaulted abyss relinquishing no light upon a barren souls desert, abjection's aridity, where in secrecy might he find what kept him restless reified, negadeified to touch in whose chthonic gloom where what once was Jaufr to me would spend all the subsequent pain lurking at the clipped fringes of our horror, the void teased by the whispers in our cellars, that unknowable dreamlessness that torments both its fearers and its foreign with a home refused, a malady ubiquity equalizing heirs in the sudden assumption of a passing of life and a way of living, this breath, this moment.

"That's not true, Jaufr, you know that's not true!" I. "I'll beg truth from the sunken shall I need it, all I'm to say is how you've battered me here, you, you're the one who should've, but you've been against me the whole time ehh, clung to me a doubter. How many a time have I engaged with you a cause, we could be caused together, but again and again you abandon me with the consequence, forced out to face it with you faceless in the shadows snickering I suppose with the rest of them. To a hundred have we gone heart and soul only for me to turn around to see you gone, begging the absence, beseeching the gulf not to spread, and if it has, if, if it has, Emnin, who am I to blame but you, eh? Your abandoning infects me, injects me to this inexorable inexhumable, sweltering buried in the anglethrust gloom, pulsing, pulsing, eahh... but I won't let it, won't let you, or them, or, hey! All of you! Think you've interred me ah, I'll show you, I'll requite the impetus its antagonist, bring me to bear on a [[bet->mdisgust]] will you, hey, listen, I'll crush you to all new noise."

Dappled despairs flanged through fimbriated sighs gelwavers ghostly roving the grayscale wash. Jaufr bisected the glare a feint I followed towards the sea, towards he, uncertainly quivertrail tracing fears effacing us slowly as we slumberwalk sunder. A little limp lungecycled his leanfall wanderer. Tattered his shirt, his face, his voice, his silence. The Docks gleamed, or so I wished they would, to meet us as we need it. "You know, Emnin... let's sit, shall we? Strange night, so? Sometimes you feel the night strange, laden, lurking. The moon is [[hunting->mhunting]] me, has been, is why I've hidden inside, perhaps that's a trick I've learned from you, but maybe I should swim out to meet it, dazzle its pale to [[drown->mdrown]] me, force its fierce yeah, if you're hunting me, have me, gauge if that's the bled out you thirsted, been salivating for so incessant the drone, you've heard it, haven't you, Emnin, the drone? You've been hearing it, it's how you hear. Like a warhorn the devils rallied to the hell we winter. So blashly cold these nights hey, getting ever the colder, can't but the freeze seep into what the skin lies unified... tried sleeping out in the open, figured if the cold could catch me it'd not need to chase me, but then it's just you know, it's just, cold... I don't eh, but um, you've never changed your mind about the diving now? I kind of wouldn't mind to dive." "No, it's um, not I'm scared uh, or but that I am right, a respectful terror, submit to the sea too much to challenge it, tempt it, and I'm, you know Jaufr, it's just, it's not a good idea, you know about how Yuli -" "Yeah aye, so's you've always said leh, but we're not him, are we, and we need our own dangers, don't we, some searing terror more than this cold?" "I don't know, I don't know." "Come for it hey, it'll be meaningful, I'm worn down too much not to suckle chances for meaningful, I need this, Emnin, I need to dive, just once, and I, you know I'm not for it solo, I need you, for it, you know, meaningful..." "You, yeah?" "Yeah Emnin, I need to dive with you, you won't deny it me, will you? Why would you? Take my hand, let's apace it, we'll go under and see what we've left there." Twitched my mouth an inability to deny. His grasp tingled me too alive to reject how we tumble into a treble sharp splash.

Sunsunken the dribbles of home helical in sudden terror of a barrier we forsake as the waterrush revels bubblephonics entuning our descent synth reverb vaulted. In a daze descender Jaufr diminished to the world, shushfired sublime unto my luminous desire to reach out through the fizz to breathe against denial. Dream to enseam our submergers syllable burst the sinking feeling bluewave veiling his wavering form. Below me arced he back above slashtraced a slingshot to the surface, seconds later I surface gasped to his laugh. "Beautiful down there ah? Convert of the depths yet?" "Dark down there yah?" "I know, purity of dark water, how you see only presence and the roil. Never know which way leads which, better than the miasma up out, [[progresser->mencroaching]] round rigidly gridded yet never intend any angle its bind til looped dizzy you acquiesce real the reel of lanes, its lack riot. We hazebred, we were meant under the surface being, our sufferings are our surfaces, how we sail, how we tower, but if we could just, and, oh Emnin, ought to get down deeper assure, where it gets really dark, that's how I need to feel, that's how I need to move." "Don't know about -" "Ayeh you never know about, always double triple quadruple guessing yet never the answer! Just accept the uncertainty, that's what is." "That seems not like a Jaufr line." "Does it not? Well, I'm not feeling much myself tonight. Maybe I'm down below eh? Come help me fish myself out." "Hey ey, Jaufr, ah!" Dived. Vague shapes assumed the shock of ordered lines, haze primordial, murk elemental, umbilical darkness. Underneathing his elusive silhouette shadow expansive enfolds, larger and larger, my entire perception swallowed by a blackness rising, guttural bellow cathedraline stained glass filters the light to a leviathan maw altar, twisting in the tremulous Jaufr turned to me and as if a smile breaks through to seal the time, crush, [[crush->mcrush]], suction flushed flung to welter agonized spasming to the surface gasping desperate for sounds the air [[never->mwordlessly]] again shall carry. Reaching into the nightwhere to rescue from the shadows the shadow that eclipsed the scythe glint but numbness seeps in lethe intense, spasm, Jaufr, Jaufr! The leviathan rose azure daemon, agate and peridot studfractal glyphs unknowable about a creature more continuity than life, earth as if a mouth, forgotten mountains winking untouched snowcrowns in the sunken sunmight, spectrally eons burst flash below me turns, descends, descends beyond my diving, gasping up to the surface for breath, diving again, desperate to see its estranger gleam, but there is night, so much depth... swallowing a gush suffocation to scream.

Lush the glimmer of lights skews langly unto the brink, harbor hoperoads to guide frigid voyagers where they will discover they have not left, are unable to feel bereft in how its silence resumes when, upon the Docks, they step into the resumed as harrow, the hulch frozen, homeslowed starwards to drizzle slush twilights, journies never intelligible in these frames, stories this sentence evulses, hence the need to seek them, us. Out into the farness Jaufr swam faster than I could follow, with the wake seeming to seethe. So many yesterdays cleansed his laughter near the Mouth, border between two sames, how he teemed energetic as if to disperse into the darkness embrace, a life open to choice, forever refrain these bound visibles, restrain into pure potential, never materializing, never embodied to failure, pure quintessence of the symbol unwritten. Perhaps could he sail out into the never and make of it a home, perhaps that was what he was doing when day by day he thimbled us to dream, but nameless the anxiety shadowed in my fear of what furthered the gulf inset scar of our shell broken open upon this gap breathing lunar lightfire, tenuousness and dread. I waved at him to return, wishing I could hug him to shore, but he floated there, floated, as if time could never reclaim him, and I opened my mouth to scream when it sucked in water, tugged beneath the surface, staring down at a greenglow grandeur, seance sparkles celestial in neon and argon agelessness stringing angelic choir glades cycling candelabra incandescence hived to ghostlands of moans almost recognizable, as if but the submergence prevents the hymn from harrowing you with recognition, spanning beyond space this beast beyond sight deeper than the depths it rose from roared emerald supernova, and in the grip of a limb I wrestled, spun free, only to see Jaufr sucked down further with an, an, expression, glee? [[Thrashed->mcrush]] to the surface I vomited drowns and cries. I dove again, but into the greater darkness the creature, Jaufr, weeping into the water...

Thrashing out of the terrifyingly placid I splash whimper writhed before the feet of Leiska, enthroned icy before my shivers, thundering judgment laughters. "You saw it, didn't you, the beast? Been flailing about as if you've. Did you dive to debate it then, was that his go? Please tell me it got him, please, oh please tell me Jaufrei is dead, oh gods, this is too perfect, I'll cry the poetry." "What, what was that? What is that?" "They've taken to calling it a keizmi, if a name matters as the named remains [[elusive->mencroaching]]. Been stuck in the Docks a tick, is why no one's outing, or much worse, swimming, swimming, can you imagine! It gave Jaufrei what for eh, is why you're out there dolphining? Ey, don't abate yet the chance, can't let your cuddler drown aye?" Kicked me into the rolling eternal, rolling, seeking in the cyclical darkness any symbol of nonend, incompletion [[silence->mwordlessly]]... Thrashed me ashore before his acidic my belief in no, my need for no, my so many needs burning plasmic. Leiska brimmed a verity thorned. In his hand saberlike glints of a piccolo. I gasped too much to ask so he answered the bare. "Do you see this instrument? It's pitched to whines that pierce the waves, it calls out near to the borders where hearing bursts and the invisible condemnation pertains, it summons the demons from their depths. I called out to the creature, I sung to it a surface, and your Jaufr was there to be so assumed, so desecrated eahah, isn't it beautiful, your bejeweller of tomorrows swallowed by the ineffables of yesterday, lostness itself? Because I have lost, he has made me lose, and so in poetic hate we lose sight of him into that which cannot be seen but by the lost... you know, Nejani used to tell me aye, he used to say he relished the decay, that the profusion of qualities was tolerable only insofar as they were compressed and effaced to spectrals, that we might among them amount. You've sniveled at your lover's shadows to worship grim his essence glear, but I, who hate him greatest, have given him a dithyramb worthy of deserving death, have given him the symbol your mewling never did, never will, and I do it for me, for my own loathing, that my hatred might mean on so grand a scale as I will claw from heavens. Go, trawl my verse, unravel its subcursions vivid to presence! I forever am here, he is sunken below place, and in the difference drown!" He kicked me into the sea again, above below my whirling skyless darkened to stormsear suture seal grievant sundersunken a soul expiring sigh.

Jaufr sigh relented to the mood we had both known for weeks. Into his hands he shook his head. Seemed to speak through a portal. "Reason aye we tame crawlers is to savor precious the innocence of their removal from the hunt, curs lapping up at you as if the face of god emanated serenity, because the torment built into our veins is pulling fish from the sea, seeing them slap about like they know already what has come, and the eyes, their damnable eyes, look into the eyes of a creature as you kill it, how it knows you by name, and you just want to hold it, beg it, please lor, forgive me, I wish you didn't have to understand my existence only through this violence prism, though sometimes you wonder so, through whatever guttural tunnels they gawp upon the world, is that portrait truest of me? Keeping a cur about just so that when it bounds up at you you can see in its face not even the awareness of the possibility of violence, a being that has never been hurt, that only knows the world through love, yeah it's all the lie for it hey, aware the vaguery of it, how if they kenned a mouse flit past they'd return to natal murder, but in this matrix of predation where everyone hurts everyone all of the time by nature, you just want to look, at least once, into a face that loves you in a way you could never love yourself, never deserve to be loved. What of the rest? We will be cursed as we must. But that kernel, that purity, sources the purpose of any fight less than the real." "You've never crawler kept, what're you on about?" Marko. "Do I have to to guess on it?" "Yeah so, I'd think. You're literally unqualified to talk; I mean that generally, not just about this." "And what's your counter eh?" "Do I have to have one? I can't balk you down to size without reasoning up my own ridiculous?" "Ah, and if there isn't a perfect encapsulation of you [[doubters->mrelent]], never more than that guise ah, sheer negativity with no positive correlate, raw hate flailing in an acid bath." "I'm the hate now? You're the babbler about how the only purpose of a pet is that it isn't hateful, you're the one with the stone heart who doesn't understand a simple joy, both because it's a joy, and worse, simple." "I, I agree, Jaufr, this isn't like you, this kind of idea." I. "Agh, am I privy to a tiff? I'll let you swooners cry it out in peace," Marko laughs off to the bar. "What isn't like me? How could anything not be like me, if it's I who does it? Perhaps you mean, doesn't fit into the fetishization of me, well fair, suppose it doesn't, but where has sculpting myself an icon given me life beyond the grating, the breaking, the sameness, the shell for itself? Upon the grindstone gasping for [[lethe->mlethe]] am I brazen to spark? Perhaps so, but who cares so, I shall do as I must, desperate, increasingly..."

Would none of it have happened without the soul strength to strive used to be the phrase to from his lips pounce, but he sags the sigh depth trawled in unspeakable hours we blunted into the dullness of hardness, the strange indefinition of lines, axe minds sloughed in chaff and rinds piled to a plugged sense of sky... Distance of yesterdays tangible in their echo shells we pillow upon in the alleys that guide to nowhere. Could not I ken where he moved, but he moved, somehow I followed, because my bones have been built to this gulf bridge, to stammer uncertain before Jaufr's [[voidrasp->mvoidrasp]] suppression expressives, anguish tortured to clarity bereavement by nonachievement glinting to blade. He stared refusals to relinquish what in his blinks hid. I wish in them was I swaddled, some castline truth incapable of corresponding to the sunshine steriles so I need not weep their nonappear, but I do not never once appear in how he irrupts the drainage reaver. He slumps before the moonlight's slightest slither, chiaroscuro hatchwork despair pseudogentle in resignation, or so I imagined of his illuminated wreckage, splatter of yesternots. Before me he splayed an honesty he had never permitted, never would, so I sifted this guise how it failed him. "Eah, Emnin, what I seem to remember is, what frazzles electric in my brain beleaguered, is that she said to me, in the frigid hour she turned to me and said, so you're a fighter then? With those eyes like they could spit the sight of me, not of malice, nor of repulsion, but simply the nonwant. I had always believed the value in such a word, used to flurry up my courage for a fight with the notion they could not deny me a fighter, savored the rage against the smother, how so desperately alive we sweat real, refusal not to be, but yet the way she said it, as if it explained me, as if, oh so that's your noun then, go off into its fulfill why don't you ah, and I didn't even reply, ironically there's the moment I most didn't fight, just kind of nodded, like, yeah. Yeah. I don't, and the thing that gets me is, I'm not even certain why she said that, used to love that about me, but why then the distance, the glare, that glare! Why do the very same traits incite both [[love->mlove]] and [[hate->mhate]]? Why's nothing change beneath the twirling coin? To what end, to what end, all we argue, when the truth liberator strangles you upon the estranging dawn?"

Those with whom you struggle to speak summon the deepest and hardest to form. So much could I fever to you in daydreams crushed to essence, but ion quiet divides the dreamt sundered to day suddenly today, so suddenly which way strays the words [[fraying->mcoin]] to unmeants, [[unsents->mdeath]], underwents we shiver through to opposite [[rends->mfight]], shatterspeaker shadowweaver.

"Agree, world's so [[hostile->mhell]] is the blade, can't sleep without the gnaw that no one wants you to wake up..." I. "Aye, all begrudge you your bread, any dust you clump to sculpt must be stolen from your neighbor, or so they revel the not worth living while you keep on fighting yeah as if it’s worth the sweat, but I’ve broken to realize those who love you through failures value grander than anything success brings, that's how you endure. After a dozen dozen scraps, not the winning, not the losing, do I remember, but the healing. No victory more precious than a tomorrow. And I, Emnin, I’ve lost her, so what will I endure of this defeat, do I? Should I not bow to the blow, admit how it levels me leh? What of this rubble but the rush of wind?" "You're tipped an oblique to this moon." "Nah, so's the always assumed, even as it differences. Part of why it mattered to me so much, you know, fighting, is because if I wasn't there to mend their emotion, no one would, merely another wound, cycle rewound, anxiety that the world is just worse if you let it, that if you don't get ground up in the gears glumping it to stutter, the machine machinates because of you inexorable. Fear mutuals entwine empathologics. There's an endlessness I cannot find cunning to gladiate, now sans her serenity, her empathy, I feel like I'm losing mine, since she was everyone I was... what does it mean to [[fight->mfight]] when your soul [[leaves->mdeath]] your body?"

Limitlessly ergodic rove lungewish wildernesses entwisted on my wristvine glistenous with diamond sweat his nearly a touch were it not too taut to touch which snaps the string a twang prying his pursed mouth with germ words gnarls fractal gating, webbing the awaiting, prays of the moonshine ecstasy. Heady with the wreckage he fumes funereal [[dredgesaids->mhunting]], upon our sandbar bulwarks he stops, simply stops, sails no more, maroonment in our minds. He says it, somehow, in the timbreous tenseness emberous, embryonic the tension jet [[juts->mfight]] in, drains, nexal now of veins to roads, siphoners of a missive envisionous, an us somewhere to emerge.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter II''] --- Regolith bareness bred the saliva stagnant to coarsing, sandpaper swallows. Blinks lacerated. Dizzy with the wakefulness, sleep incapable, consciousness muted to a drone gray, fizzling, fizzling, [[fizzle->mfizzle]]... startling into the migraine [[propulsion->mpropulsion]], anxiety erratics needly in sinewy pregrets gauzed syrupy swamped by too many [[memories->mabandoned]], way too many remembers to compose the scene [[stable->mstable]], nauseously luridly awake in decay. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Debauchery and the din that came with it. I mumbled to the ether eating everything. So many silhouette people to lay sterile among, the loneliness borne by crowds, in their vesper alterations smoky against the nightening amber outlines smear in blur hedges obscuring the ways in or out. Tongue slung to taste not this blood gel memory, fugue wisps trailing in residuals and a mortem blare. So many figures, were who they? Their crowds shook with the anticipation of realizing they together stood like a crowd. Can't clutch anything, lungs rusting, sulfur. Shivers never tingling the skin cold enough to release them. Am I up or above the surface, days old peach peels in the back of the top of my mouth and the whole esophagus lining, faces coagulate, eyes become four. It's not that I want to be here, but that I am still. Marko and Olyasz in opposite slants slumped heads bobbing as if the geometry had broken to float in a tear. One, who knows who, gnashed their teeth, or bellowed in a way difficult to differentiate. So blown his eyebrows sweated Tyese huddled with pillows he mistook for women, and beneath horrendous overtures he began. The wood of my seat had splinters I rubbed and rubbed my legs against, some weird raw chafing feeling to nub numb my skin. Reikka [[nurtured->mnurtured]] Volya's nodding into drinks while speaking, speaking animatedly. Where was the ground beneath our feet? Cumbersome but not plummeting, yet. Mylecz played darts near the door with four growling men though there was no board. Puddle. Suppressed the volley of our discontents to any receptacle willing to be more than simply filled by extending to the horrendous addition of another's also, pale facade through which you grope after ashing embers. Grimescored daemon denizen, and under that gulf laid I attacked by possibly visuals if only I would close my eyes to watch them play. What kept me awake was the gnawing in my gut that said you are a skeleton, and wherever I looked I saw in filth reflected bones with eyes, and from those dim apparitions I [[scoured->mscoured]] back to this room to try to find who led me here, but on encountering myself, shudder turned to where violently rustlush ghosts overwrote the tapered forms, terms of an all consumption which might as well be the whole purpose of choosing life in this moment.

Passing into the second second bereft of the fire which pushed us to it. Ennui our errance of sopped steps sweeping us through footwork fractals of our absolute gone, rust minds irreading our way. Curs incapable of discerning the ends of habits had we waited at the Docks for any master that might claim us, invigorate what sloops to equilibrium with the silence, any new strain impetus to bisect this gnaw numb, tensely relaxed exhale heat exhaustion on the heel of exanimate thirsting the rush these muscles seem to dimly remember from some past [[life->mlife]], sweat salivating to salve these wounds aching with the burnt assurance of real wounds, but in the patter wallowing behind our patience brittled, bristled into nerves to shock us along in pulses. In the stiff salt air yesterday [[replayed->mreplayed]], replayed long and lone twilights looping one staleness stickling the lungs to sterilize the chill nocturnes that yield us denuded to the accost as unfeeling flame peeks through the mouth of the Tower to balk its forgotten its forever removed, peaking at the arch an altar whose sacrificial trickles arc in rays soft white gold semisolid on the weightless phlegmstone penance enough for one more month of silhouettes in the cavern grim where not even the sun changes these shadow's lengths, lengthen these specters glacially in the ice night negadawning, stolid sea slosh unpunctuated with the beat of passage as muttered we against the serenity with half jokes jostling open questions, chest noose tightening. Less than [[abandoned->mabandoned]]: never having been left.

Stone assimilates you: lay on it long enough: you are the stone. Hard pain pool on the skull section most prone to migraine its brain root, the firm, continuous push on a spine which will not bend, the ache which settles to new nonfeeling. Every stimulus wrings the stillness unaware solely the void listens. No one feels death's second, nor descent's second, but between the two they shake with each tic absolutely aware. Surely he knew. Staring at a roof which becomes off its color the longer you are lost in it, the length between things you must travel alone that stretches to submerge you for so long you lose bearing, being. Trapped in the glass prison slowly morphing. When you resurface your bulbous seastare fails to form a contour to humanize terrestrial icons with you, noumenal constructs forced to dance until the masks fall off to show masks under the masks and a sense you have missed the joke. Loneliness is the hours between others' minutes. Lie in the cyst contemplating its slimespot scripture monk of its silent vow. Ghosts of the [[ensnarled->mensnarled]] detangling in low moans, there is a reason echoes emerge from hollows, hollows no one was aware was a where. Separation from the [[semblances->msemblances]] which suggest we whisper not in vain from this world of ghost whispers. The sleep between the dream wonders us if this absence will accumulate.

Jaufr yawned his shoulders, tried to tip over the mush sofa to rest headfirst on a hardness, but it squelched instead. Marko slapped the strings of his lute: "Yeska, mewls worse than the alleys, hear so?" Marko strummed a slopped frown. "Been threatening to quit the torment forever, but, hey, catch that gone." "Hither it, I'll fix it," Jaufr. "Fix it, aye you will, wasn't that what you said on the deheater?" Marko. "Gods, the nightmare," Tyese groaned. "Had to row back in a furnace we did, nearly of heatstroke died so many times my memory convinces me I so, keep waking regretting I hadn't." "Ey, the time I said I'd fiddle with it, never said anything about expertise, didn't I say so, said I didn't know much about heaters, or deheaters, or whatever, was a gamble so's I said. It didn't fix, but that's not like that's my fault. This is different eyeh, I know lutes, music's the one thing surely even you won't deny me." "Like how the glow switch was different?" Marko laughed. "Or the, er, whatever that thing with the widgets was," Tyese. "Okay beisza, you wanna bet I can't?" Jaufr. "I'll bet you four over I'll fix it. I'm good with lutes." "You're not good with anything," Marko. "You're a dyenne is what can be said of you. You break more things than time." "Then bet me. Grow your courage, yeah? Bet if you don't think I can do." "The holes in it's the problem. How you gonna fix [[holes->mhush]]?" "Bet me, I'll show you." "And the strings like slime, you can't just tune it, yego. You gotta –" "Look, bet me or not, but if not, at least have the courtesy to slink." Marko shrugged. "Have it your way then, just to ungnat my ear. Four coins." "Reasonable fee," somewhere between confidence and smugness. Weaving through frets small fingers tapping gently on the worn wood, liquid membrance sliding home. Opening his satchel, applying patchworks deftly despite the scoffs, rising and charging into his thought expanded to us alive, pulseless [[splayers->mstreetsleepers]] on the sotted decor stirring to his song, his playing touching the inert nerves clasping us in a chain chain, a break in the always pounding tinnitus to say these are veins trembling heavy flow, unreckonables sequestered from the everpresent real, the wake, the work. A whole group gathered out of the permeated empty, and you felt it in your skin, our together. Marko shrugged into his pockets. Youth's sands, how much you cover.

When the stasis swallowed our hopes. The knot in our stomachs tied with the one in our throats. Another thin evening rationing last week's dregs. Attempting to escape we prowled the pubs in search of, but it was too early to drink to end the night drunk, and the poor break tradition only when [[broken->mstreetsleepers]]. Wicker combines of stores open in name alone shunted us, do not measure yourselves against shelves both too towering and overdusted. Trudgers used to it turned we to find the worse wind to which our sails were condemned, up the First Staircase to the First Floor to slink before one more closed port, xenophobic parapets built in brick and thick reclusion, before which edifice laughed like a sigh wet like the stone on our toes Olyasz to recriminate reciprocate nativity his acridity. Menaces grinned unleash soon in the murals' chipping. Growled the gate with the constantly defied's inviolable sternness. Through the narrow lane cluttered with fallen bridges we slunk between the walls watching our feet rather than the one beady stare the parapets occasioned. Up the Second Staircase to the Second Floor we climbed; melting in its worldless breadth we glowered against the slouched despair half full buildings sweat. Headache cauterization against the spread too thin hints of limp light, any second they could flicker and cease. Home, for the next morning's waiting? Longed to drown in my empty room, but in our solemn straycession I stayed locked in the pleaful psalm our neutral faces wept, monks also of a shame, many shames more terrifying than the thought of another day's wreck. As a single unit advancing for the sheer sake of some kind of progress these steps mirrored some selfconcept not poisoned with who really marched it to the Third ignoring the various cries of those beside, together to avoid meaning alone with the thousandfold thoughtsnarls wishing to claw through the clammy undone with at least one familiar face, one voice not this echo that ongoes to the Fourth up beyond our ascension, seasick solidness in which we nearly seize too much a sky in the crush [[hush->mhush]] vault, prayers in name only unto the haze of our aimless lust through earthy smudges strayed along mazy mortardrop houses which waylaid the road across' maudlin mewling pleading for any alley strong enough to stop it. Mirrors our motions to parallax, pilgrims progressing to a fire shrine's imprinted windpersisting long after the flames failed the insindiary formative venomym. Some neck propped up or impaled by slanted boards. Greasy signs swinging by the last of their two chains and their croaking doorkeeps could not entice us inward, no blankness promised with sawdust enthusiasm to overcome our lack of relent admissed something in Teminu's knees to buckle, and he stumbled, and we stood still staring straightskew as he grogged his way ahead unbalanced in the sucking of an auditorium's doormesh's outbound hint. Languidly we followed. No entry fee in deference to the audience demand or mostly indifference, but Mylecz nevertheless pressed the coffer with a lost signet, daring or severe melancholy, choose which his exhale tastes like in these lungs, and with too loud a clang the coin bounced from the tin hanging for a split second as if to forgive, but before it reached his still open palm it teased away snickering, and Mylecz lolled away to emphatically physicalize the rejecting jolt, the tic of chagrin at even caring, resolve not utterly destitute of pride that pressed him reversion pliable to the wavers of semimusic that philtered the thawed air crackle where into the unsure Mylecz molted moorless to the azure unshoreable, unsecured multiply we wove through him westerly to the afire quiver. Marko, behind him, glanced down the tin to the coin desolation, envy's freezing fingers slipping round his throat embitter embrace, but he stayed his hand in either solidarity or solidarity's despair, choose which, and he resolved into shoulder stunting me through to the burning orange dust hanging more like a veil than smoke over the inside. My heel hurt as if the back of the tendon had a maggot chewing, chewing. Wincely soft the grunt attempt to breathe through the dusts caked the nostrils burial, shroud lined my lungs, and I [[spluttered->mspluttered]] so many coughs I could not see.

Curling blink lashing corrupted circles in a rapid [[stagger->mstarving]] Yuli groaned out to me, but I shook my head and stepped away, he kept groaning to show he had no tongue, to say the so much that suppressed. Grime mouth scab putrid spitting saliva gruel, I gagged on it, Kostiye's indictment fulfilled, his hate was a thousand times preferable, but Jaufr evened me with a this must we too, an understanding but determined glance, and Yuli in his rags nodded as he groaned as Jaufr knelt by him looking back at me. I was [[dead->mstart3]] long before him is why I managed to outlive him. Head smogs with heat uneasy shoving up to the outer swelter.

In various interpretations of the back row scattered whatever was we fumbling through the implacable dark for far longer than the distance and our bodies til might ourselves marooned on the shore of a strange new fog foment from these exanimate acceptors of the firmness letting the lost sun ersatz wash over us willed into the dark to drink whatever trickled. The first act, or what noise filled the void, spat bodies gangrenous, wide drains sluiced by hidden cold sweats, no distinctness to lines, a meshing of the border between the violet glaucus splash sloshing this and that burning internal fuzzing back and forth into and out of each outline in endless regression and procession snaked mixed reductives of a forgotten theme my [[nodding->mnodding]] away needled into my memory's rhythmic watertap inuring succumbing to freezewheeling from some internal toxicity across a second act or the third or fourth or fifth, and stop, Jaufr, not the sixth, please, or was it the first having slapped on fresh faces, and lushless pulled from the pointless unmold sans a gravity to temper it wildly balling scraping with claws that flaked off no shadow to cloak its horror misshapen it begged for absolution to an audience that wished less for the salvation of this suffering thing than for the quick and inconsolate end, caught as we are waiting on this life, and I struggled to scream open my mouth, but [[haunthints->mhaunthints]] of moans were all that leaked, sole being for others of a world which wishes it wasn't, which was, which was lost in the others I have, lost...

Stillborn words plucked from years adrift, nothing he could do could wash him ashore his desire, is that what had killed... what would peter from this, and what would remain? What can be said when they no longer speak? Perhaps, although, and what else? Isn't that the point, the emptiness a [[vanishing->mvanishing]] leaves? We're afraid we're afraid for good reason. In the [[pooling->mspluttered]] of externals drains no self to a paradise of the frozen forever formed, if that, indeed, would be paradise...

The abandoned know a child's need for distraction is not inexhaustible. I fled home to press from my mother a warmth withinness, and I [[approached->mselfish]] she who framed by the bookcase by the last twilit ray of a [[submerging->mphysicalize]] turned slowly to an acknowledgment. Gravity in the mist pull, no motive in this nearing, children only have a motive in small things, any need that had me clutching these skirts required her to prove it to me, but she reshelved the book and temporally resolved in the black heat, but spiderlike I scurried to her reverse terrain, I sat near her in mimicry of her distance awaiting. Minutes [[engorged->mengorged]] the seconds bloating the hours, and in their interchange I spun sateless, unfocus dazing me, and dizzied from the spinning nothingness almost sick I drifted to [[changeable->mchangeable]] dreams, an oblivion that would not ask for what I did not have to give through whose numb web I would leak to a softened awareness, when I found my father domesque perched on a chair opposite my mother chattering like to the summit chill dying. "Damn shame of it, Anya, that we spent months on it, months, long, long months, tried everything and some, and even at the end it's not that I know but just can't, worse, I don't even understand, there's something to it beyond parsing. The machine wants to be [[broken->mbroken]], there's a will to secrets in species of death we do not share, invested in our, invested in..." My mother muttered something too gentle for my ears to overhear, conciliatory but half hollow, tenuously on the edge of complicity, I could taste a [[tone->mtone]].

"So hard, though, fixing up those scribers, they're junk, the lot of them, always been. Fact, grands used to complain about those things lor, used to call them ticking bombs sure, right when you needed it thus erupts, rusty jets all over your everything. Deya's whipper hated them too I remember, back when he ran the shop, days gone ah, called them yvera whenever a customer brought one in, your guess is as to what so. Once uh, who was it then, wasn't it little Kaiya's uncle, you know Kaiya, cute little Kaiya, Emnin's friend? Her uncle, Domeda, or Domega was it, can't count me to know left from west, but he brought this huge utter hulk of a scriber, bigger than he was so, with whatever that back thing, poor kicker, and Deya's took one look at the thing and was up to instantly [[cursing->mimeni]] the guy out of his ears, or one would hope numbed, truly was a sight to see, you know how he could get, the kyauska. He was all up in a storm shouting some honestly horrible stuff, things not to say right, calling him names never I've heard, I mean he used to read a ton, how's I got you those books recall, the little old orange ones you liked, do you remember, yeah, those, those little things, Deya gave them to me when the old man went, so's he knew that sort of stuff, made him real good at throwing a body up the rack, and me and Deya, of course, well we ran after the poor guy, told him no, gently on with ye, back to us come, assure we'll fix it, ignore the cranky dyenne, pay him not the cheap of your mind. Ended up discounting the job so's to he wouldn't spread too much through the pubs, aheeh… and weren't those days, me and Deya, we used to have such times, his dad wasn't bent to functional but could belter you out a wheeze too many to stand, thus the truth I say, was so good he at that stuff, like any question we threw at him he'd have it solved by the night perfectly, and I miss that, absolute I do, you know, to be able to work without the terror of failure forever, isn't that, you know, not that that's what this is, or could be, but it's like, you know, things were, they just used to..." [[Trailing->mlanguid]] off, not willing, not when he was this tired. Furrowed brows over a fallow pause, but my mother placed a hand on his knee, and in a [[voice->memotion]] pitched to weak glowing she spoke at length. The rumbling, though, no soothing stops it: "We've been so [[hardpressed->mselfish]] without him, even today, even now, even now..."

"Don't you take that tone with me ah," my mother rebuking my [[unwilling->mphysicalize]] to rise. "You're to settle when you've gotten somewhere worth staying, never before, you must remember that, child, in all you wayscattered weepings. Do you see me curling in while the winds still blow, who knows where they go? Sharpen up your [[dulled->mdulled2]] and [[strike->mstart3]] out a [[semblance->msemblances]] worth shellurk."

"It wouldn't have bothered me to the first yeah, but it's been over months now, maybe going on more eh, since last we did refurbish. People are losing their faith, aye? Had a guy, what's his cleped, short beisza, one with the woolen caps, yeah, yeh, heah ah, he's the coward, you know what he said, you wanna know what he said to me the other day down Docks?" Short pause for the baited question. "He said, you ever considered coming out on the fishers with us hey, ought to, we could use you, and I told him, cause I knew he was ruding me, I spoke him straight, you know I'm up at the mechanics Tomya, what's your angle now, but you know what he said, the chipper? The kyauska, he went, oh yes, sorry, often I forget. Tch, like he forgot. The way he phrased it, that's how you know he's driveling. Only saying it to spite me, as much my enemy as my shadow. Like he actually forgets! Unbelievable. Don't even care the insult, throw one take ten, but just how, casual it was, it wasn't even, I don't even think it was something he thought of earlier, he just, saw me, he saw me and decided to splatter, and that's what I've always hated about them, the Mityesz, they never know when to stop. They've got no tact." Tomya wavered in columnar sparks, scraggly hair and barfloor voice, and I reached through the gunsmoke to punch him to the Docks, shouting, you know I've a job, Tomya, you know that, as hollers swirled up daemon loomers that spat back my agitation, imagining him falling to the ground bloodlessly begging my mercy, white eyes wide lay he rent [[image->mhaunthints]] in nonsense patterns whorling through my tearless but terrified, never moving but for the quivering nor resisting, and this scent of despair roiled the blood [[antibromide->mvanishing]], but with each visceral splatter softened my knuckles until they retracted through my arms, chest anvils. I staggered home, there they were in their chairs, but as I puked coagulation my mother retreated into the solidity of her tiny world, how small everything appeared from the leatherbound portcullis, and alone with my father's voice I retreated further into sleep, but bladed limbs tore hate grooves in the chalk walls as my father followed, fifty floors tall with a mouth ready to speak binding me to listen, but he collapsed, and a jawstone crushed my ribs, chest flattened, until my mother ventured from the safety to wring me out with stories shrinking beneath her breathy waiting stare regress majesty. Simulacra stony as my father clodded home in a sweatgrime that glistened. I gurgled into myself. He sat alone in the ill lit awhile before calling her to hear him express what he could never [[articulate->munderposited]].

An act, the hundredth, how many are the [[unnoticed->mdulled2]], but the power to crush the reverie had fled this world, nothing could cause the past to cease the echoing. My mother gently rocked my head in the long after midnight whispering a soft song her mother used to sing, and her mother too, how far back are the [[unending->mstart3]], and it played and replayed, then replayed in a droning dream, no noise outside that song, resting in the one day I will awake alone and listen to the no longer sung. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Delaya esero so, Yketczana amiya nlo, Nabyisi krali moya no, Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Delaya esero so...]

The buzz of her voice somewhat shrugged my nod. Kaiya's perfected serenity's concern assumed Jaufr's customary lounging groundchair for she had only recently heard, but I surrendered nothing to her, gave her the same torpid inking this haze. I cannot parse a cry to a real person. In my head I had even imagined Kaiya listening, she had been a good ghost for me to weep to, but before her reality I felt abashed, and because abashed, furious, and because furious, abashed, and silence splashed out the result, which she expected, but the expectation mismatched the intention which further slimed my skin, not that it was not always, which thought made me want to jump out of my chair and start screaming and tearing at my hair until the shock of anyone, anyone at all, might jolt me to the scene, but then I would flee weep to a ghost again so many more burdens of this I don't want to share with you for your sake as much as mine, but I can't admit, because silence is the admissing. What is it I'm supposed to give when bereaved? What is in this figment but our shared answership, how was I ever to know? Watch one scatter a clarity into a puzzle, you can resolve it, but what is the originally a puzzle? Don't make me be more than what I can feel! Let me feel nothing, pain's negative in an antitumor. Why would she not leave me alone when all I wanted was to sob onto her shoulder everything! This serpentine tongue soon shall smash its cage and reveal why we both should have rushed for more chains instead, did she not see, do not shatter, do not break under but are you alrights... I wanted to hold him close, to smell him, kiss him, hate him, but what could... I wanted to beg her to hit me, throw me to the floor so I could feel as Jaufr, so that his ghost could fail to save me, and could we be equals in this at least at last, but scalding insensible what vexed me most was her calming too starkly a kindness to rebuke equal to its felt as violence, her genuineness beseeching a pulsespike assaulting my eye's veins til again too will I fail to give back what is given to my absence, shivered [[selfish->mselfish]] afresh, despair veer me pressurized superneon vaultstrobing proclaiming enormity [[yawning->memotion]] its dawning into which I strode to burn. Charnel anguish aftermathed her grace.

Sense severance. Closure is felt in how the continuing [[hobbles->mpropulsion]] incomplete. After the mark is made the mundane murks uncanny as a loss without loss. How easily all of us could go and still this will go on, and on and on it goes, and what then, who then, why then? Where the emptiness [[stirs->mselfish]] the air alive marks your hollow to begin. And yet! It's. The way the pulsing plods along nods you to a normal as the lessening [[estranges->memotion]]. Numb to the hollowing until nothing is as a normal. Sleep until death awakes you, then, surprised, cry out.

Volya's viscous surprise gazelock slid into my holeness summoning him to the action I was for him. Up he staggered past Reikka's sigh without surprise, trudging topsy turvy in a slitting focus formulating his plastered grin's purpose, grabbing my arm to jolt me to his charged. "Aye Leiru, hold it hence awhile won't you, isn't it so I, I've heard..." He shrugged, but in my hypermotion slow he shivered from side to side black drops in a scarlet slash over his unresolved steadiness. He suggested a desire to finish, but the sobriety eluded him. Kaiya's face became one sunken dot. "Get on you cur, elsewhere sleaze." Reptilian hulk his neck swerved its scales sideways to perceive this new impulse. He blinked hard hoping to conjure meaning, scrunching eyebrows capsizing, then, oh, a glint of recognition slithered. "Isn't it the snow princess, how is withering the world to match you?" Kaiya resumed the strong expression that terses many things. "Leiru hey, you dreary dyenne, heard about Jaufrei," Volya clucked his tongue, perhaps to say what a shame, or these things happen, but it seemed neither charmed him. "Yes." I said. "Did you, send him?" How caustic, how blunt it was. I almost sighed, but finding my jaw too tightened to open I ground my teeth instead. After an intentionally significant pause: "Yes." "Well ah," an attempt to transition, the throat clear replacement "Marko was roving about previously on something about er, seven shots so, apparently a bet or the sort, so I... cause it was Jaufrei right, hell, you know the guy, knew the, but like he said one for each coin he had, so, as it stands..." "What?" "Well, and, I mean..." "Want the coins?" Gravel absence of incredulity. "Nah ace, no, you're wrong around, doesn't to me what happens to those coins lah, that's blood money, Leiru, don't have it me for blood money, it's bad luck." "Then why are you here?" Rising acerbic. "Nah mate, listen, listen, you've got it wrong, I see your look, it's not that at all, trust me. It's simply, as a, you know, as someone, I wanted to say that, people are saying things, you know what I mean? Whispers, mate, whispers, [[rumors->mrumors]]." "Emnin wouldn't rob Jaufr's, his, him," Kaiya, indignant. "Matters not what you've heard, that is if it wasn't you to say it. You're so wrong, you don't know Emnin. Why are you bothering on about this anyway? I never knew you to care about" glare. "Ah, your frozen majesty, ukase cannot its effect I'm afraid, why clunk your semithinker to assume screaming silences? No, no sense to it. Words are too violent to murder, so's the invention of blades to dull us peaceable. I'm only just to, to," he stopped to scrunch to stem the headache claws "just saying what everybody's saying, thinking the crowd aloud." Volya admits he has no original thought, Jaufr would have [[declared->mdeclared]], instead of the uncertainty I mumbled.

Reikka, who had been listening from afar, finally slid over, her glance elsewhere, jumbly, perhaps merely looking for the energy to bounce away. "I'm swear to you on my honor's dubity hey, ah, Reikka," chest tap "tell them so, Reikka, it's true yeah? People are saying about Jaufrei, I mean, about his coins? And Leiru yeah?" If not for the intensity of Kaiya's troubled gaze, then that might have been the bounce Reikka needed. "I have heard one or two people say it." Volya shrugged a delicious grin. "So then it's proved irrefutable, asks the question for me doesn't it of did you take it." "No. No, I didn't take –" "No, he wouldn't, not Emnin," Kaiya. "I've known him since we were young. That's not him." "Hush, geskecz. Let the kid speak." "But you –" "The reason there's no gods is you were given lungs. How am I supposed to hear when it's you speaking?" She simmered, but, why? Held. "So [[what->mwhat]] did you do with it then, absent the taking?" Volya.

Kostiye teemed opprobrium promises over those sloshed similar. "Ey Jaufrei, been gambling have you?" Loud enough to involve the room. "Not with you Kostiye, spare me your putrid this still pleasant day." Kostiye fizzed mock offense that slowly foamed serious. "It's very much my problem, Jaufr." Hung on the consonant's halt. Jaufr swung on him his full attention. "Okay then, gnat, first to rights is don't bring up my name to me ever, alright? There's that. Secondly, I haven't bet you, I've nothing to pay you, so it's none of your business, so you should jam your high moralizing –" Jump to the fist which is always the point and Jaufr [[smacked->msmacked]] into the bar, bounced, splayed on the floor, stirred into the possibility of audience, electrified the moment with what was really his full attention. He ripped to speak, but Kostiye cut him off. "I will as I please on your heartless unorthodoxy, clear not only how your festerers named you but also how they raised you your vagabond inheritance, you breaker, predator, you've learned the devour from them yeah, they from the gaping chaos, isn't so to you gambler of souls swindling lasts, where's your shame, care you not the least what happens to others post your point illustrious, pain illustrated, starvation artist, carver of carnage curlicues? Haven't you like the rest of us heard decency's names echo from houses nearby? How can you in good conscience drain people to dying for spurious kicks, perhaps you've lost your conscience to bad dice hey, but then why do you come in here boiling ears with bladed aspirations to idol some lost conscience, a description perhaps too apt. Already living in utopia of the deathful, do we not need yours. If you're gonna blather on being right, then you've to own up to being wrong. Worm monster squirming through wilted hearts, won't take it, not anymore dyenne, not while I watch kids waste away, malnourished faces like they've seen it, what we think they're trying to grasp onto, seen through it, and just, relented... drives them mad, the parents, why shouldn't it, sends them careening through thievery to murder, everything is within exhaustion's reach, and it just keeps going, evil echoes, you've a society of sufferers clouded by your divine provenance. Breaking purses on a bet ruins more than an argument's worth, you have to know this, yet you keep going, question ah? Why wreak more suffering when everything that bumbles out from whatever orifice you talk with is about reducing suffering? Your name means nothing but misery for molten pride. You worship some false immaculate in the dust and bloodcleanse it in delusion." "You don't know what you're steaming, you're calling a blank page openminded, but I'll settle you free of your ignorance for pay of you thrashing past. Let me tell you what as I'm a gambler: I thrive by taunting the bleak to poise so that I can frame it slayable, there's the gambit, that I shall marshal it to prove more than. The dyenne slapped free of purse by I are the trash as deserves to be counted worthless, failures viral the lot of them, those who, with any bit of purchase they have upon the rockface, tear into our edifice, reveal the gape and plummet upon which we precarious. I bet thirsters who deserve to lose, so's the victory in winning. Murderers, slavers, the nihilists that render slavers mundane, people who earn money like most earn guilt, people who, should they slip down, shall leave the world happier, healthier, them I hasten to a grave, glory in their starvation. I preen us free of parasites, so's you catch me aye preening, proud as I ought, alive as you never can fathom, you tinkerer of sentimodalities, preacher of ooze aahs." "So's up to you then justiciar of humanity who shall starve upon the streets? Everything sorted to how you see it, otherwise obliterate? Who have you judged so guilty hey? Amadeo kind as I've known, best we had to medicine also, yet he said something your drunken judging jeered unwise, so you've lotted him in with slavers or whatever other nouns you can safely externalize onto, thence your slaughter almighty. Any merely not you earns your most virile condemnation, those make up your murderers, those who aren't you and need be acclaimed a crime essence, so you've sleazed your plague decently around the city, not merely to those you bet, but those about them, dependent upon them, precarious upon their precarious. Thank gods we have the justice of Jaufrei to fleece our mortalities. Who are you to decide from disagreement death? Are you at last perfect truth, that's what your gin's saying? Besotted god of the broken before you. Paid your way settled in the pubs how you cleanse them, a right janitor poet you've proven." "I haven't paid for any of anything, dyenne, though perhaps suffering you is how I do. Doubtless the scoundrels milking your hours talk only on the money. You want to know what I've done with every coin I've pawed from a bet? I'll tell you hey: [[given->mwhat]] it to the [[streetsleepers->mstreetsleepers]], have so, every clink of it. Yeah, veracity, not for me about the money, not the slightest, that's what certains me different than their exist, rather I bet translate their humiliation to world dignity. I stoke their seething depravity and douse prove in the human better, manifest truth against what they take for given, settle out of the wrangle the principles I bet your charity cases never mention. When someone degrades the beautiful or belittles the good or caustically marches on in their pessimism at everyone's expenses, when they twist this world into something bleak and raidable, I force them prove it, and when ho they don't, I make them pay for it, and I relish it, I do, Kostiye, savor their suffering, save up enough to pry new day from the agonized bereavement of they and their lost gods, not because I want their inert chill, but because I love pain as justice, giving some arrogant nothing their hour. They come to you fleabitten, it's their own sin biting them that hurts. I pity not the least of those laggards, hilarious to their hunger. They bet me world devourers slagging serpents from goredripped mouths, and I bet them vanquisher stasis, stability of some construction innate to the disjunction. They've lost, they're erased, they deserve it." "And what of their families eh? You're not drabbling some drunk in a bar, you're snatching crumbs from their kid, costing out their nights more and more on dependents. You don't get the grimness, you haven't seen the diseased and dying like I've gone about bearing witness, the bereaved behind the drunk starving of your cruelty. You haven't tasted the destitution your rhetoric wreaks, you're numb to the pain of the innocent as all obsessed with justice are, but perhaps you wouldn't care if you could ken human emotions, because you are this pub, the game and its pain and nothing more, nothing outside of it. The real suffering your bet starks us slips from your care, because it transpires in cool mornings as you're sleeping off the act. You will die crouched on corpses kissing an idea." Onward word jaggedry. Possibilities forming equally fast with beautiful phrases sung to perfect the violence, angels suspended in lightning clashing, hemispheres of a dual mind vying for control of the body spasming for monogamous expression, for whole truth. Though a crowd bustled us into a blur I was alone buffeted between the dueling gales, tremble winging through skies stained crimson in the crossfire as these dream demons whirled across the welter wake. Amidst the wreckage of points and counterpoints I trawled the burnt sacred.

I sighed my gravelly rivulet forced through a wasteland. "I gave it to a beggar," I ashed. "Sought the hungriest on Docks, gave it them, all seven. I don't uh, know her name. I couldn't, tell you who she is." "Boka. You're, what, there, there's, ehh a beggar though? That's your, your clash? One you didn't even, know? Come to it ace, that's actually the worst excuse I could think of, had I the brain to think them." "I did though." Slight, unpersuasive, usual. Even Kaiya slightly slouched away. "So the rumors are true!" Whiskeywashed laugh. "You did steal it, Leiru. Took it for yourself, did you? I'd say I thought better of you, but." "Shameful," [[Reikka->mreceded]] wrinkled her nose. "To rob a man's rest, the sacred bond of, of uh..." "But I didn't!" "Did you?" Kaiya in a facial whisper. "No, I didn't, I told you! I didn't take it. I gave it all to a beggar." "Which beggar?" Volya. "Could we go out now to beg the dying your alibi?" "I told you, I don't know. She was a stranger." "How convenient eh, suppose you couldn't point her out if we searched the Docks right now?" "I –" "I knew you couldn't be trusted. The silent ones, they're the trouble, they're busy brewing all sorts of unspeakables."

Fast upon the flack of flesh on floor flash blasted brittly patient Jaufr to likewise fury. The crowd roared awoken. Blood boiling in the thicket of blows I [[receded->mreceded]], not fled, simply was less, too gone to be there, tremulous disgusted by him, by me, them, we, the hideous, hopeless, inescapable we. "You're a good kid," Jaufr rubbed his bruised temple, "always there for a friend in need." "I..." Because of course he was right, and I lowered my head, less than everything.

Reikka, ignored by everyone but me: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Rue rob a rest of death, Hard harbor hard heart holds dearth to death of best, Rid rid shamed shameridden copse of breast, Measure mounting the meaning to, uh, um, meaning to, matter, or…"] "Jaufr did it, so I did it. Ask Kostiye, he knows!" "Oh, so Kostiye's to come to your aid?" Volya laughed. "The one who hates you?" "He didn't hate me, he, he hated Jaufr." "He hated Jaufr," Kaiya nodded. "I know," a cough, a moment to regain, a cough anew "I know he" another cough, frustration "but how could he not hate you, Jaufrei's only friend?" "Ills are transient between friends," Reikka, sagely. "You mean transferable," I snapped. "No, but that's the saying, ills are –'" "Yes, but you're misusing it!" "Listen Leiru, we can go in on this, I can keep a secret," Volya. "Just tell me where you're stashed. I'll help dispel the rumors." "How do you know I'm misusing it?" I closed my eyes until I was in my room. Black courting maroon bed, sheets large enough to swallow the world, fortress curve carved against the hail and marching, a here where here was safe or dead, where the innumerable grievances numbed, where the echoes in each sound muffled, an unraw reality begot by the power by which I forgot. Overwhelming noiselessness ruled as steward for a king that would never return, in the tenseness of the dragging temporary I heard peaceful nothing. Here could I sleep where the people waiting outside my door would not endure. You are alone with everything that means. "Leiru, ho, up to it!" Volya slapped my knee with the back of his hand. "You there ace? Answer so!" "Yeska, get your hands off me," with more energy than I anticipated. "I don't have Jaufr's money." "I believe him," Kaiya. "I do remember Jaufr actually used to do that, that was one of his, you know, one of his ideas, Emnin's right. You're not going to get anywhere with this, rumors or otherwise. Emnin's an honest person." "No, he's wrong. He's a liar. A beggar? No way." "But oh, Volya: care fair pare snare accuse the rob wrong ruinous, since thence none attest," Reikka. "How is anyone supposed to believe you just handed seven coins away? Oh, because you're a good person? Oh, so hallowed, let's slap our gums panegyrics, praise unto you, dread accomplice, abandoner of brothers!" Ashen. "Shut up Volya, you don't –" "Hush the amok, Kaiya." "Don't hush –" "A beggar! Unbelievable! The absolute worst excuse I've ever –" "Oh, oh Volya: how fair care to careless attest accuse unsparing –" "Baelu, I heard your spittle prior, you [[gurgling->mstart3]] festrot! Gods I swear Reikka, I swear upon every Floor of this Tower, by geskesz, I will tear your throat out, I will eat it, I swear upon gods I will eat it. Has anyone said that to you yet? I hope not. I hope I'm the first. I hope this is the first time anyone has" a hiccup "looked at you straight in the eye and told you that, so's I can be the first person to take you seriously. I hope you never blink, not once, not ever, Reikka, because, if you do, that's when I'll sink my fangs in, I swear it, I will eat your heart and relish every [[spurt->mfragments]] of blood." "Fjelske, Volya, what is wrong with you?" "What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me!" "Volya, please," Kaiya. "Shut it, slutless. Have you heard this guttersnark she keeps sludging? I can't take it. Maybe you can, but I can't. She's been doing this all night. It's nauseating, I can't take it!" "What are you talking about, Volya?" Reikka. "You never mentioned you didn't like, like how was I supposed to know –" "Didn't know? You didn't know? Nobody has, has ever wanted your tripe, not a soul on the planet wants party to your failings, but you didn't, I, can anyone miss that many social [[cues->mtone]]? Are you empty in the meaning parts, beisza? Did your mother carve out your skull for a vase?" Riptail waddlers drawn insensibly toward the spectacle like bleating creatures carousing beneath bonfires jostled a fringe. Olyasz and Tyese watched airily from the far end of the room; Marko sloshed his beer and shouted at the fight in selfdirection; I edged away quietly to sneak out before the ire returned to me. Kaiya let me go. "The hell was that?" Reikka rubbed her temple. "You had no right –" "You had no right to spew in my ear all night, but you did it anyway, you're a mouse who thinks she's a storm." Another punch wild and cracking on Reikka's jaw. "Volya, whoa, that's, stop, please, people are [[watching->mnight]]!" "Only in your head they are!" Volya shouted. "You only think people listen to you, but they don't, they never do!" "No, I mean –" Shattering was what I heard as I ducked out the door.

Bristly vine hunger hangs [[languid->mlanguid]] in the gently breezy doldrumming. Dollish laid in open catacombs while whistling the air nurtured fruition from nowhere, sick ivy dripping upward then outward in slow green fire, aching limbs, the dreamless stare hollowed in barren vault sockets beneath complacence in which [[suffocation->msuffocation]] grows gnaws raw at the stomach lining, dryness in the molten charge. A white static hummed under the drip of buzzing dressed in a thick coat of noise thinness. Echoes rattled tin clanking on emptiness not sinking but bouncing then retiring to floating suspending a half breath forever. Nerve sparks shot velvetveiled bullets through tinglenumb skin in a silk massacre. You cannot stay put, but you could not possibly move. We lie leaden, ravenous in whatever pale, dulled and dulling hunger.

Inky figures in an inscrutable sky. "No one knows why though, or even where exactly, just that, I mean I heard from like five different people they were on the, yeah, up uh, somewhere on the Third somewhere. Crazy though hor, thinking they might be like right, like next door or." "Who?" I rubbed my head. "What, weren't you listening?" Mazyu. "Veda. Friend on the Fourth says they descended round about sunset, two of them, but none's shaked out why, or where they even are ah. I've never met a [[Veda->mveda2]], my cousin neither, says it's been at least a century since so down last."

"How do you know they're at the Docks?" Mojyi. Trying to right myself to this scene's angles, but askew, askew. "I didn't say that, I said, my cousin said, it must've been a century since last they came to the Docks, I –" "Right so, the Docks." "No, you're not listening to me, I –" "You keep saying, your cousin –" "Will you shut up?" Tyese growled. "He keeps saying they're at the Docks!" "I never once said that they're at the Docks. You keep mishearing me." "Who's at the Docks?" Marko staggered in. "The Veda!" Mazyu snapped. "The whaa? So they are at the Docks hey." Mojyi. "No, Yeska, I give up. Kid couldn't sell up as an echo." "Wait, so what happened?" I. "Mazyu says there are Veda at the Docks," Mojyi. "I just, can't you hear yourself? You must know how annoying, deliberately provoking..." "No, I mean, last night, what happened?" "Depends which [[night->mnight]] was yours," Marko.

"Reikka got brainbashed by Vasya," Tyese chuckled. "Then there was something about trumpets, nothing good." "The hell is a trumpet?" Marko. "You mean, Volya," Teminu. "I haven't seen Vasya in ages." How many people? Was I outside? I tried to look around, but I couldn't stop from blinking. "Whoever," Tyese shrugged. "Oh, so because you haven't seen Vasya, Vasya can't exist? Gods am I lucky to be beside you!" Mojyi. "That's not what I said, that's –" "Just leave it," Mazyu. "The kid's impossible." "Reikka's dead?" I. "Nah unfortunately," Marko. "Fjelske, my head hurts, probably alike the beisza. Anyone got a drag of painkiller?" "I got a fist," Mazyu. "Painful, could kill you. You're welcome to it." "Shut it, Veda. You rob the joke?" "Euh, you rob your reel ah?" "Ooh, low blow, let me climb down a ladder to feel that one." "Always right to the party favors," Mojyi lolled. "Oh don't you, of all –" Mazyu. "Gotta go straight for the unpleasant surprise." "You're not even good, Mojyi, don't pretend you're so –" "Can't waste one second before sinking to the jack of all trades." "You've never, not once said anything even incestuous to funny, you're like a little –" "Kid's got a point though," Marko shrugged. "Shall I kick down your hangover?" "Nah mate, your voice's already done." My brain reeled circuits tightly wrapped around a burning black stone. How did I get? "So, what happened?" How my neck worked? "What do you mean, what happened?" Mazyu. Tyese had managed to prop himself up on a broken wheel, no spokes, I could see that. After a pause, he asked the same. "I mean, how did I get here?" Mazyu started laughing in his throat. We waited a significant while for him to stop. "Only thing anyone knows is no one cares," Marko. "I thought you were too prim to get floorward, Leiru." "I don't, I didn't." "Sure," Marko. "I can't remember how I got here either, but I can remember how that happened. Bysze, I'm [[starving->mstarving]]; anyone got chews?" "Got a fist," Mazyu. "Smash right on your teeth, should you're wanting." "I swear, Mazyu, I'll savage you." "That's what I just said." "Gods, why're you a nail through the brain today? You wake up without your kneecaps or something?" "Nah, it's this kyauska here who can't listen a word without opening his stupid oval shaped mouth, asking me what I'm about to answer. Give it some time, he'll infect you with the same mood. Hasn't he already actually? I thought that's why we're arguing." Mojyi muttered. "The hunger's already got me to the mood. One of you's got to have a nibble. Be a [[friend->msmacked]] aye, I'd do the same for you, you all know I would." Marko. "We're snapped, everyone of us," Mazyu. "Tyese, how much you've stashed?" Tyese pulled his thumb and a finger to a zero. "How about you, Leiru? Anything?" There were two coins in my back pocket. Hunger gnawing. I shook my head. "Nobody has anything," Mazyu yawned. "You should know by now." Contemplation, or was it despondency, crawled across Marko's face, then slipped to his limbs, congealed. I struggled to my knees. "Ey Leiru," Mojyi. "Where's [[Jaufrei->mjaufrei]]? Thought you two were inseparable."

Tepid flames churned crackling within their furnaces glowing iridescent in the plush gloom. "Ask your scoundrel heart, Jaufrei, why you fixate on a woman, what makes your ideas of love appear there most convincingly," Nejani pet the air with cupped palms. "Which form is an adequate receptacle for what your pen is? Principles with curves? Hmm? You have all these images, which says enough about your intentions, but underneath their shallow gleam they're all blank color as sparse as your head. What does she actually look like huh, your ideal, bloodless but certainly not skinless? Surely you've spent time on that part. Admit it. What good is a woman who won't catch in her lips the saliva from your raving? You don't know. You think you're in love, which shows you don't know the first thing about what you're after eh, need to –" "You're the one making it about, about that, that's not at all what's happening here, there's a deep, internal, spiritual connection that –" "[[Spiritual->mspiritual]] is it? Ha, surely so's your delusion. The damning evidence of its physicality is given up in that it must be a woman, this spirit of yours, those perfectly artistic curves eh, you wouldn't go chasing the same drug should you find it in a man, it's just the trick of your conscious that makes you need this kind of body, so you've neatly woven a web to veil with meaning the curse grunting hooting from within." "That's not true, you have no precept to your argument, entirely spurious –" "Here's your precept to choke you hey, why haven't you given your shadow here so much as a wink? He's gone slobbering after your bedraggles for ages, sold his soul to whatever spirituality you so kindly anoint upon us, but the instant a set of curves hesitates onto your word, aye Leiru to the side will you, busy up I am now, got what I've been after, yeh, shall you disprove it? What makes Mariena more than Leiru to your spirit? Oh, we all know the answer, best not to mention it hor? Your motives are entirely [[naked->mnaked]]."

"That's not, that's different, you –" "Oh different, veracity, we're all agreed there, but assuredly you're chasing an ephemeral, a phantasm, some goddess to your domain; you don't want a lover, do you, Jaufrei? Merely a muse eh. Unfortunately for your trite artistics, Mariena's an actual human person, can you believe it, smart too, she'll know you out once the youth wears off, pincered now by the verticality of what you say and what she wishes what you said said, but when she wakes up, gods, can you imagine it, years of such loneliness opening out into the only communion she's ever known being an even greater loneliness, the uncanniness of escape being a more painful return? Surely it'll singe her soul, not that you'll care, because, you see, she is the elusive x that keeps your function pumping specifications, the inert genesis. You deify her precisely because she is like a god, a blank slate to sustain isolation's dream fulfillments, but she's not, she's a solid state, she will not melt to your hot air lah. You take people frozen in a fall, and you shove them whichever way you think is right, but there's beauty in suspension, suspension's the soul's whole art, and choice is our definition gravity. You did it with Leiru, ruined whatever there was to ruin there, and you'll do it with her, that is, if I would let you, but I won't hey, because I know her and Mazyu, grew up with them, would rather die than see someone else's face in either of their blossoms. The world is cruel and hostile, so you’ve got to bet up on what little actually matters, and I will, trust me I will. So I'll ask politely: please, don't do this, not for me, nor you, nor these games, but because of her, her alone, let us be united in our mutual love and do what's best for her. You ruin everything you touch, because you're almost right, you're the venomous in between, you've got the right spirit to the wrong whims like any criminal worth less than the thought of himself. You try to make things better that are better left alone, you shove yourself in places that are best not attended, and you make a mess, always, you break fragile puzzles with your forced solutions, and it's left for me to clean it up, or Kostiye, though the selfrighteous dyenne is as to his own ways bad enough now. You've broken too much to be allowed to approach the gods through any more innocent conduits, so I'm going to ask you gently, friendly, putting all our animus behind us: leave poor Mariena alone. She's not right for you. Go sail for Umae's and stay there, do us all a favor. There they're lifeless and goodlooking, just right up your alley kid. They take everything you say for granted, and oh, do they love rhapsodies, they don't understand them, but so much the better hey, who cares, they're not written with words anyways, they're written with raw attraction, with juvenile mysticism and adoration. If you want love that's not affectionate but admiring, there's your place. You're welcome; I usually charge for my advice." "Yehh no understanding! You always think out of yourself and so can only understand those bobbled into your failures, you'll never ken what to trust, can you even feel in your bones the echo of a belief? Thus our language, mutual religion blessed in a kiss, and yes, will use the word, I'm not afraid of themes grander than me, I am willing to die into my sincerity, come whatever hells. You may shiver alone searching for niches to mausoleum your cynicism, but I will believe in someone, I will act out a dream, and if it fails, let it indict me, abate my truth oh endless tempests, but so long as I still sear this stone to bleed, let such surge birth us angels to a hymn. I dare, and yes, dare, what you've never had the courage to do, to believe in what isn't immediate, what needs someone else's possibility to become immanent. Immerse yourself in this world just once, and I promise you, these blunt reflectors will reveal details you haven't begun to fathom, arrays of eidetic potentia awaiting their blooms for you to balk, a rearray to your capable ah, recombine hope and choice to viva us, not trudgers to linear [[death->mstarving]], we are the potentates of an empire of the yet foreseen. Don't you see I pulse beyond the suppressing calm, sing the melody I cannot hear else in her voice when she says this name with love, and I transform, no the tear, steal, gnarl, ruin, your arsenal of adjectives for the timid to live, but alteration, the act of her elevating me by adding her term alters my existence to a new level of choice and feeling, ambrosia of the next heaven raining down to my new now earth, you have no idea what it's like to ascend to a beyond greater than the journey thence, the palace beyond the previous space set in the stars which rise upon it, her and I combining our domains to approach a set beyond us for us, that is what we are. You assume her a passive to be marked, but I see her as a fellow gale to a chromixing dawn. I am nothing, do not attain, neither the act nor the outcome but an alteration altered. Our spirits spiral convergence to form new features. You treat me like a child, but I –" "You are a child, listen to you babble. The next heaven, really? How can you not hear how that sounds?" "You reduce me for no reason! You refuse to believe in any feeling you haven't had. How selfish, puerile –" "You want to talk about selfish? Your gale, your religion, cherishing whoever sees you as you want to be seen and there parrots your love as you craft it eh, is that anything more than the self desire, self instantiated through subordination of the otherized? Call me a nihilist should you wish yeah your tripe thus, but nihilism truest is making yourself a standard, the cause and purpose. Because you are the answer, isn't it, you're the thinker, the high heaven you wish to achieve, and she poses nightly, I mean sorry nicely, your elevating aspect, never the other way, never you the symbol leh, rigidity projections to mirror receptors which dye it, distort it, and please gods worship it, to return it into yourself, you love women only because they are beautiful you returning into you, that's what's so, just so pathetic about all your sexuality, is that, these women are stuck with two possibilities: either they are inert bodies, which you reject, so they become celestial bodies, which you embrace, somehow believing that to be less lusty, therefore convince yourself to other motive, but it's not, it's your other organ hardening. Heaven, stars, dawns, you see her only in those terms, because she doesn't dwell here, does she, because you need an elsewhere to reach, so dissociated are you from the premises, because your premise, whatever argument you build it out into, and trust me, I know hundreds of varieties, is that women are nothing which must be made into something by this sexual fixation which will not let you go. Sexuality is a curse, since it convinces dreamers they shall not be alone unto the estrange and dying, but you will, Jaufrei, you will be you sans any heaven til hells swallow to take you, and you should so be swallowed, devil, demon, man, no the nihilist to say men are monsters to be reviled and feared, where's the slur in the obvious? I hate myself, that's what I believe in, that's my religion, pure guilt before the relentlessly judging god. Alas the best to be is not there, but there you are, Jaufrei, dipping into women like paint to illuminate some sign to apparition your soul higher truth you conceive and conclude over our corpses." "How can you possibly -"

"No, you're wrong! Gods I don't know how you can spit so much bile without choking. You're the one making it about women, but it's not about that, it's not about categories of any type, it's about –" "Boka, it’s all it’s about, otherwise why then only the women, never dare you suggest it the men that might –" "No, but it's, her and me, two people, beyond our being in our beings invoked." "You're dressing up the naked truth!" "Nah, so broken and jaded you can't understand someone who thinks else into pure. Everything with you begins by assuming the worst, then assuming so the world. No this divide you conjure but the unity transcending it, a paired motived solely in a mutual self bothly constituted, no room for this subjugation you feverishly imagine, because there's no separation. Am I such a horrendous person to think that you can make somebody happy if you just try, is that so wrong? I reach out and say, together we can be happy, and you say, yes, rip that body apart, slake there your cruel joy, because you yourself are such a void, you are the one overwriting the juncture of two likekinds. Love is the human will wishing to extend beyond itself by seeking deeper into its name; we love the other person, the surface obscurant, to discover the extent to which they are already the us we have wanted to love for so long; you see, it's not about me, it's about who I never was, it's about who Mariena never was, it's about who we together can be." "Gods, listen to ye prancing like a prince never to vomit in a gutter, but I know you better then, so should you." "Listen yourself, glum sourwits in a little sobbing circlejerk, or sopping, maybe, don't know, but not even for a second does your whining and doomsaying and neverhopes flounce me out from hazarding a smile to achieve what you yearn to drown. So much potential in these lives we can live, but you have to dig deep into the dirt to unbury it, strain your muscles to sustain it, you've got to surrender your need to the long suffering will which will actualize the moreness of being given the time to endrench into its scenes, but you won't do it lah, you prefer reclining, wish to convince yourself this is all there is so as to obliterate the possibility you're wasting what you've to uncover, all the stories that you could have been hushed in your hellmaking. Sigh engravers obscuring any virtue's glisten with circumspective ambivalence, you blame me for [[selfishness->mstarving]], but you're who cannot a voice catch but the brute that barks the silence, but I call out to ask others to return theirs, voices a communion, brightening combines. I love Mariena, and aye so maybe short I grasp for fully what that means, but and what so, who has woken to the heart of any mystery they have not yet touched half the half the depth of? What of any building but the binding summoned? Perhaps you've presaged me properly a failure, but I hazard that entire, anyone who tries anything should approach the act storm swallower enveloped in the crash and thunder, but I'm willing to learn through the bruises to breach any sunrise foreshortened from your duskland glazing. I shall fight unto my soul any mode of human I can harbor. You cannot stop me, should you even stand up to try." "And yet, ever so obvious, remove you this from her again in the return to as if a surprise your unity into which she sinks; gods, I've never heard a lover speak so much about themselves! And you wonder why I don't trust you. You rant on about your oneness, because that's all this is, some philosophical ultimatum of your own devising in which she is chained changing symbol sublimating your wolfish thirsts vaunted upon the altar of so poisonous a word, so repulsive a –" "But you're the –"

"Leiru, hey, are you here? Mate, where are you? So famished aye, like really close to the edge, come on now, where are you, wake up, wake up hey, this is vital!" Thrust into a voice like Marko, but I couldn't solve the [[fragments->mfragments]], squeezed shut into a pain not yet sharp enough to [[physicalize->mphysicalize]], to – "You alright? Gods you look as you've been through it. But so listen hey, listen I won't bother you for long, but I um, well I know you sent Jaufrei, Leiru, Emnin uh la, ace, um, I know all about it, and it's terrible, absolutely, I'm with you on it, and yeah I know you'd prefer your peace, but I mean, you've got to, you must have the coins on you somewhere, I know it. It's fine, it's cool, I get it, but there are rumors man, nasty sort, wouldn't want to be caught up in them yeah, worse than they've been before, but it's alright, can stop the lot I can, we just need to prove that, that you kept the money, then you can, we can use it wisely in front of everyone, it's all worked out, it'll look like charity. Where'd you hide them then? Is it in your room? We aren't far from your riser, we could go there now. We can figure this out. Hey Leiru, wake up buddy! This is important, I'm telling you!"

Emergent phantom motions swerved to the standsickness thermal shading in wavy swelter shimmers strummed leylines across the raze askances slash spilling effervalences of the half real fever pitch solitarium in whose dead white light droop my mind which does not shut up when not being so wheels subtones quake and crush across the fuschia trembling shriveling in the desiccating shapes so blurred beyond contact as thus have we known it that meaning merge melted the glare to sheer immanence palpitating under a thin membrane of gamboling shambles jammed together strangers, nonsense juxtajuttering anatomies knit piercing through wrong way connections. Liquid [[Marko->mstart3]] waved his hands to a summoned choice, but this blinker tuned to darks slouched as his hands became mountains, skypiercing out of focus obscurities whistling gulfs words or ostensibly so slipped out out of order, careless conscripts carelessly commanded, and they tripped and clambered over each other eager to [[return->memotion]] to form, but each desperate grasping clutch scrunch sunk them back to the scramble slunk splattered urgent over what few noises approximated homebound pulses leaking through apparitions slipperiness of the unperceivable syntax of, of… how long this useless? An interregnum of cognizance abode. Pressure punched through me: limbs squeezed, chewing spasms, and a guttural truth, starving, ah! Fatality my sole instinct, hunger, white gnawing. Could no feel no but this buzz and its tingles in limbs. Stand... impossible, no.

"Leiru, are you listening? Are you dead? Yoah!" With a grunt ground the fled away. Gone to the unending dark still going, cease to await the for it going hungry, be not more than the hunger as are you it. Attempting to motion no. Attempting to [[emotion->memotion]]. Feeling my way through what what little of what little I saw retained lucid semblance seemed to paint loops in my brain proper to rememory of what [[Floor->mfloor]] was this? Chewing feels good even without food, you almost get the sense of it. What is that strikes so when so many streetlamps so bright, when were there so many, what year, who even lit them? Why? What Floor is this, what even is bright! Eyes [[hurting->mdulled2]] from how far in my arm I shoved them.

"Emnin, oh, hello!" Yawned around my [[fist->mstart3]]. Stared firmly down. "Emnin nyeh, you're all sorted up?" I swallowed several deep breaths as if in migraine retches. Tried to speak, felt like not, definitely felt like not. I looked up, tensed: [[Imeni->mimeni]]. "Oh, um," straightening up, focusing in. "Hey, uh, uh, wow, hey? How, how are you?" "Fine as it goes," she studied me for a second. "Sure you're alright? You look terrible." "Thanks." Light amusement overshadowed by confusion. "Listen um, do you know where Kaiya is? There's a bit of a headway at Benni's the evening, so I'm trying to track her alongside." I told her no. She sighed, tousled her hair, crestfallen. "Well, thanks anyway, I guess. Suppose I'll keep looking." A pause and a purse of the lips. "By the way Emnin, I, heard about Jaufr... you sure you okay?" "I'm fine." "You sure?" "No." She frowned, then started to turn away. "Well, see you around?"

"And what makes you different?" Jaufr slammed his mug. "You're a hypocrite, Emnin, judgmental yego! No one else's reality's quite as real as yours, is it? You've emotions, but can't speak for everyone there. When it's me, it's wrong, but when it's you, it's right? How are you to possibly justify? Hypocrite, ingrate, betrayer…" "It's not like that, Jaufr," but I heard myself, too gross. "Boka, exactly how so! You side with Nejani against me, yet oh –" "I never sided with him against –" "Yeah so not in word but certainly in affect! Yet now you want me to side you against Yakacza? Tell me that's not the happened, explain why should I consider you reasonable to the coursing." "That's what I'm trying to, if you would just listen –" "Listen? Listen, precisely your refusal so to me? Do you know how many times I begged you hear me out about Mariena, but did you ever hazard me half the chance? No, it was always, I'm just not sure about this, Jaufr, or let's pursue else, Jaufr, or I'm simply not equal for the moment, Jaufr. Eh, ring your tune, beisza? Gods it was like asking the sky. You didn't believe me from the start, because you never felt the origin, and that was the leap too far for you, into somebody else's needs. You've only ever cared about your participation dires, that's the key, isn't it, the ability for others not to tarnish the only true spring. You want me to listen to you, I bet! That's all you've ever wanted in all your listening. Emnin, sole soul, here to imbue your cause with meaning. Otherwise, why bother?" "Jaufr..." "You really cast yourself better than me, Emnin? Got yourself a right to be happy I don't? After all I've done for you, for us, even in those times you sat silently the background nothing, nothing, while I fought both our battles! You honestly think you're measured better than I, as because you don't say what both we think, as so you let life break you shy the brawl for dignity? After all we've been through too, I must say I expected, foolishly, that you would support me ehh, conjure up to something at least; naive, I know, or and perhaps you're so far beyond my shambles I cannot fathom your hyperreasons, but I really truly thought you would back me on this, that you would be even a quarter of the friend I've slaved myself to you. After all these years, nothing, as a stranger!" "But you're not hearing me, you're not –" "You're not, you've never been!" Sobbed sorries to [[slunk->mdulled2]] shoulders. The sour joy sea, love [[lost->mfloor]].

Breathe to pretend this [[body->mstart3]]. "Yeah. You said there's something at Benni's?" "Oh, yeah, you've not heard? They're saying Myeri's on the Docks with Veda, can you believe it. Right so to the query I thought like, but then like Myeri, he started shouting his typical, apparently he's addressing a crowd at Benni's, and I thought I would go, it might mean a job. I want to make sure Kaiya knows too though, but I can't find her anywhere. Haven't seen her in days hey. Alas, perhaps she'll show, or we'll will her so sheerly. See you there?" "Don't know." "Mnn. Well." Goodbyes fluttered her off, but a sudden thought compelled me to prolong: "Wait, Imeni!" "Yeah?" "What uh, what Floor is this?" A chuckle above a scoff.

Like ghostly drumming fingers rasp rattatatting on the rusted corrugated a deep shimmer dark drew itself apart from metal malaise an amounted magisterial reaper revenant, breather of counted yesterdays, who barred our retrogression to the nightcleanse nunca, Leiska of the leyline lost. Noctilucence smile. Engine of the eventide hummed his song half swallowed, drip drooped from shadows gangly he curls wavered waywarding to skew the scene to sing his hollowed out to baritone growls. "Ah Jaufrei, you find yourself inside this chill so long my abode. I can taste inside your tears unshed the shearness, delicious, at last we can share our palaces fear." "You've absorbed the meaningless as if native, I see," spat with the rage of the wave whose surges cannot conquer. "Have you been following me?" "Of course, for years so out of hatred, knowing you so deserving, always I espied the chance to throttle your silent, bless the world silent, but you could not but by martyrdom ascend to death, even in destruction you would dance, bile building the thought of how proudly you'd die the statement of any hate smothering, I could not think of how to kill you without blessing your feigned, that smug ecstasy of pain incited and deterred my vengeance to sterile in the echo hum, until tonight, when I witnessed you as real and banal as the burdened rest of us yeah, broken to spirits you cannot symphonize, so unto the brutal I yearned you, wishing I could reflect you bone, and so I watched wish ashen, time brackened unto revoluted suspensions, you in despair, delicious, I admit. I could never kill you so long as death met your grandiose an affair, but in your eyes tonight I detect a sorrow, a yearnlush tomorrow gaunt in which I lope hellion, persist in your [[deverify->mdeverify]], I will, I will, so tired of waiting, at last now you will die undignified." In his eyes flashed all of Jaufr, yet the bravado, the drumroll, the conviction and dauntless, the unbearable witnessing cursed to claim us never came, silent he remained, until in a stark pitch beneath his voice he echoed from the hollows of gravel. Where were the aches we composed to futures in this fulcrum dread? Whom did the hours accumulate if you mutilated emerges in the lateness lone? When did we prefigure a face from the thousand denials if this, if he, if whatever of we wields thus to dusts? Jaufr sighed to sabers like unto the scaffolds. "If you wish my blood, so you may treasure the secrets these veins rivulet, if any more must be mined, if from the [[cavernous->mcavernous]] can be clawed jewels anew to the afresh fire you cleanse the harrow of surfaces, its scouring recursion endless. I am tired, Leiska, so tired even you can see it in me. Maybe now I understand your Nejani, how he felt; perhaps you can help me complete the empathy, so that if I die, I can die into empathy." "Ahaha, is that the best you can clamor from the brink? Have you finally admitted your poverty? Then let me requite you your dues." "Emnin," Jaufr, to me, but not to me, to our shadows mixing, "let us duel, yeah? I, you... well. Let me earn this outcome."

Desynched to uncyclical revocation of actual the lunge that loosens us to the volt of true spooled across a dozen dozen jitter frames whose portents I begged mystic to revolt the revere a vision future, but the abyss responded his slunk to knees, head resting on my shoulder, staring at the same skies he scried for the [[words->mwordlessly]] out of this mire that never came, never come, never again come, blood gurgling their last absence. Grinning yet staggering from the now brutally actual Leiska reslipped the neverness, and I let him go, I [[let->mencroaching]] Jaufr dream his fragments to their native mists, wept on his skin their first dews. Cradling his heatless kissing the collapse. Unable to understand how to move. Unable to the seconds counted after.

Spaceblack widthplush plashed the echoes to dreaver roam. Sunken sonics swirled to eddy. Lurkened lightless and leer the less the lashed to phase, silhouette shimmer shriekmutes modal the reverb antipodals, their faceless to faceless. Hurt cavernous they spilled their crossways to stalactites cruciform from which the drips dangled, clung, becried the yawning maw. Voicewhich volts the egress his genuflective to stance subveral to the castform recursion Leiska lethevitiates. If aught passed between, my depths did not so flow. Undersyllabic synaptic electric their severation missive pressured the push to launch dizzying, swift slashlunge split along the blink a slivering, emergent [[divergence->mencroaching]], jagged bolt lorn he tumbled, swiveled, gawping at me until I recognized, he, Jaufr... Not even cognizant of my running towards him I press into his, please stay warm, swallowing so many sobs the swallows become sobs, pressing his hand, pressing his pulse, Jaufr, Jaufr, come to me, stay with me, exist here, please, I, cannot, he does not [[respond->mwordlessly]]...

Through the fog unaccountable. Dulled to dull razors the slug of lags squirmed my muscles spasmed. Heady with the runny breath, breath about to leap from this throat, no return, no can return to Jaufr, all forever formless in the awegush anguished, begging the yesterdays to ooze, congeal to real, so desperate to feel any [[sensation->mstart3]]... too famished dizzy to keep my eyes open...

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter III''] --- Moments punch their power, fall to the floor they fade. Overrun, bleeding colors as all your [[motionarmaments->mmotionarmaments]] melt in the nova, but a single facial tic wreaks waste on a hundred more months of sleepless gasping, phantasms [[spasm->mspasm]] spat from one strong [[suspension->msuspension]] in another glistening the pressure no emotion holds, feelings hunker in their shades overcome, controller consciousness born in a single shattering jewel, ruby shards in your split eyes [[flail->mflail]] flooding blood fountains, scream wordless to sterile tile. Do not release the past for the passing of a real second, one gust guts structures of control scatter cataracts cataballismtic narrative viscera on the shocked clarity ultra in the lucid moonlight's silver enlargening another soul screaming immersive to magmatic lifeblood bellows raving rippling through sheer will to live, erupting in a tearing cry to any [[heaven->mheaven]] listening to be this, let me die in this, I have found what living was for, and it's [[gone->mgone]]. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Reikka, Kaiya, and Olyasz on the Sixth with whatever ambient breeze a memory supposes. Exiles beyond the limits of retention, upward bound against no chains to descend and sometimes that drains enough to flush us forms we in the past's carcass huddled through cold and quiet we scarred cherished this husk thus derelict. Blacklight rainbow diffusions spiderweb about the amber glow to border two senses of place: one once now no more, nones now here the gore of the glow to shiver out trauma in shellbone [[gutters->mgutters]]. Slack ligaments the way we flanged like ragdolls along verlust wildernessly, dragged figures seizing spores of the lost and losing and loosing, until I sunk to my neck in the cough stone and clattered. Traceless bearers opening their caskets to unleash to a balking calm the invisible intensity which struck them to walk this wilting we vowed in silent devotion driven faceless coplaced foreshortened before a gray and coral and floral whites and brights mural sprawling caulking four solemnities in sacred vigil observing god glimpses prophecy gifting us bitter awe reciprocates trickling through our tones caught by the cyan [[splashes->msubmerse]] sighing against the sepia wear a delta spitting years into dying swift impressions on the ebullience uncertain. Separately inundated to this phase, disaccreation isolators, those riven to this night elision in tears communitized at the edge of what we had together once known as changeless shadows dayzm glare shunt glazed to where our eyes cannot yet adjust our bearing out into being to this mural this being a human before it, a tinny temporality rainy sparklers pastels prisms sprinkling through ebb and stain millennia composed our sustaining hymn when outside hurricanes deathlust fizz suicides as insects buzz croon swarm mass preyed on the mark to which the dagger flings recking the [[bloodsun->mtear]] rising quaking at the approach of ends slivered through births, an abhorrence at what had arisen that descends unto itself selfeating barbary cyclical but intensifying in the frenetic filthifying of us staled to secrete of our wholes, worms in our thirsts, rats scurrying arteries of our garbage gnawing and gnawing, bright schools plucked up to yellow teeth, diseasestruck wasting the killing shivered studying the gluttonous earth, the remorseful creator blank against the breath, begging: who can observe their encompassing peacefully, or what else is the wailing, what else rips the tidal gorge implicit in our tears? When more would we move than this?

I did not want to be, maybe append here, but such was. I turned to notice what my eyes were now well enough adjusted to physical things in their thingness to notice. A langly skeleton stretched and skinless hung over courtesans as if puppet fingers could control the fleeting delusions we harbor in skin, his jaw slagging, serpent whip teasing the strike. Peer through the oily, you will not find the selfassured, even where they appear. I moved to leave, then stumbled, then helped myself back up to my seat, stared at my plate, so hungry that the idea of eating repulsed me, meszknye with its [[mulchy->mgutters]] wobbles. I was and was not; dazed into this dying to demand again the daze, death is the home all doors open into, and, surprised, you discover no more the [[window->msubmerse]] wish. Rapping on the bar one of those cluttered in this sleaze, like me, isn't so, isn't so, yearning Jaufr to reprise in a sudden [[violence->mtear]], thrash this cudgelkin upon the counter... hold the blink long enough to forget nondarkness...

Loops in my brain loop with me helplessly thought and its opposite swooning attachless this aftershock so locked in its origin serenity which is nothing more than a subverted despite the dancing that drudged behind me which I dreaded to consider. Conjugate elusion the antagonized which makes of those motions oscillating into my ears along the traced grooves to imprint a layered disc of bursted reveries [[blueblaze->msubmerse]] razors to slice the sky like scythes, wounds oozing verdant and crimson wisping thin clouds to cover a rainbow god, all retraces of how much I missed years, not that I missed them, but that I am missing in them, [[sawdust->mgutters]] meszknye coated my mouth unsatisfying, gravelly enforcing of this is your only current, lucidizing anger at being forced not to dream, to relive the dead within, stillness imprisons you when gravity ceases to. An impression [[eradicates->mtear]] the groove. Consumed.

Urn legs uneasy tilting atop a quakespine, [[crushquell->mtear]] [[dankswell->msubmerse]] chestfeel of being in a room too darkened to alight your soul. How easy to flee this impossible, impossible. Distance despite my attempt not to know, look up at the jet realm of not to be yours to feel rooted helplessly to whatever [[dust->mgutters]] we inhabit, face our existence in our faces, our existence's essential horror: it is ours. Slouched on a numbed. Our aloneness is a powerful lost.

Felt my skin's [[grime->mgutters]]. Glittering mauve zealot robes hooded on an agate glare which would pierce were it not long centuries beyond aloof, the inquisitor floated in a spheric autonomy glacially poised in just above slow where he waited a response. I creaked a plea open, but he presidium hell held in a crozier across a hollow hall lit with cosine wavering pearls melding into a [[blue->msubmerse]] spark fluid second as the two rows tied their helix closure smeared across the wall accompalypse on every wall a case of heads in different perspectives all chanting and thimbling gold lines littering a lozenge pattern on an arching orthogonal inbound vertex to lay two paces past the inquisitor's aura's exosphere, itself a seraphic urn. No shout would transpose so ornate a distance without tearing apart its origin. [[Sliced->mtear]] a wound crescent to connect his gaze and said, yes.

Glass dust swamping my shoulders with aftermath. I guess this is me, still. I tried to ask the [[murk->mgutters]] to mean, or at least to forgo, but tinny music kept rinkling in my ears to prevent from freezing to a painting, so languidly I turned, half hoping the [[motion->mtear]] would [[submerse->msubmerse]] breath... less... how he looked, in this finality he was so insistent didn't have to... kept eating, this at least is.

Cerulean cool the sparkling tapestry washing hints of the true indiscernible whole. Mylecz while we bobbed winded through sea mystery by its escaped smokes augurable in hushed awe, the robed zealot knife in hand marching to the alabaster altar wreathed in crimson cloth aware of what swarmed through him to the gate by his fear juttering open. Blesscursed with awareness, he mentioned the word beauty. Pyeisa scoffed. "Ey to your eyes up here kid. You'll grade less the sea when you consummate." Mylecz's cheeks heated with offense, but he demured to a glower. An argumentative tone without its payload harumphed hollow in the bleak. Tyese chortled on the brown he was coaxing down his throat, urging Pyeisa to the tension squeeze. "Something so touching about the sea," the low intensity with which Pyeisa imagined every sincerity, "maybe it's just the fish nibbling." "Did Reikka rent her tongue?" Marko snorted. "Could see her sblubbing such a rhapsody. Least you spared us the rhyme, thence the pangingest migraine." "Aye so," Pyeisa. "Your verse hasn't retched me up blood, so there's to encourage you." "I'll drink to not retching blood," Volya. "I'll drink to retching blood!" Tyese. "Refill me honest yeah?" "More than a drink to drag you honest," Marko. "Wary you diluting the pour, ought to spare our groom's beloved hey, might he be disconcerted by the amount of mouths she's been in." Pyeisa. "So's the strength of her wit," Volya chuckled. "Spare me your safe in the gallery," Mylecz burned. "Did I accident to sincerity? Attest to this crime, I'll do, apologize for the slight character to my character, didn't intend to offend cynical one notes." "Character to my character, flourish, absolute inspiration that," Pyeisa. "If you could pour your brain, our Captain'd case it straight up, tingle his tongue golden dreamy while we slop up the bilgefilth." "Captain to our skeletons would strip us, so's to could, work the bones to wavebreak without so much as sleep or slop," Volya. "Don't you always strip to the skeletons, or why then the strip should excite the bone?" Mojyi. Tyese laughed like stepping into a bit of damp but it squelches surprisingly muddy. "Wouldn't ho that make it better if it were literal, like, coming home the day, ripping off your flesh clump by clump, dangling it on gorehooks, squiggling into bed a muscleswamp gooey over the prodding and aahing of bones, like imagine if bones could moan, lifting a heavy box and your spine just guhhs, and or imagine if –" Mojyi. "Let it shy you plodder, you've stretched it," Pyeisa. "I'll stretch your neck too far eh." "Already is, why's I look down on you lah." "Well, while you're looking down there..." "Nah, I'm already brimmed on Mylecz's bride ere." "Ey Mylecz, what is it you're moving when you gazing at water?" "His reflection, isn't so they call it masturbation," Volya. "Leave him alone," in my best Jaufr impression. "Alone should we then, Leiru?" Marko. "Suppose you're empathetic with spurned lovers?" Anger and passivity alternating rapidly; anger followed its nature and beat the other out. "You don't know what you're talking about," I steamed. "Ooh, touchy tread there." "Guess there is a bond ah," Pyeisa jut in hastily. "Two adorers bereft of consummation." "Cool it on Leiru, yeah," Mylecz. "Give the kid a break for once." "Aww, looks to they'll share themselves free of virginity," Pyeisa. "Eh, and what happened, Leiru, someone shame her into asking your name?" Marko. Winced into myself but could feel him staring as if he wished to [[tear->mtear]] his way in, stare, spit.

"Get down the lot of you," Marko, seething, armed. "Go on you sleazy pissalls, get to the grunge. This is a robbery, act is it yeah, nah, groan why don't you, that's right, it's a robbery, raise the alarm, soldier up your missing braves, no? Just to your quivering then? Suits me so. Let's unawkward this as we can hey, play your parts and maybe I won't take overdue, sound fair? Doesn't weigh on my conscience you live or die, doing you a favor as I see it." "Oh Yeska, no, oh no, no!" Blubbered a wretch. "This can't be! Where's the bouncers? Hey? I though this was a –" "Marko? Marko, what?" Marko frowned. "Vasya, ah, excellent, amazing, absolutely charmed. Ey but I'm so thrilled you're here buddy, always admired how slashable your throat was." "Now now, we're kissing friends, we can skip the pleasantries. You want tell me the havoc? We'll drink it over proper, no need to corpse the mood ruined." "Do you mind getting on the floor as I asked? I told you I'm robbing you. Won't say again." "You won't again? Oh then, it's fixed, my ignorance outpersists." "I'll enjoy killing you." "Didn't ken you the courage to the climb," a sneer in any other tone. "Have you drunk the replacement?" "Oh speaking of drunks," drawled, "saw your brother the day prior, slammed a mug on that Reikka. Earthenware everywhere, really quite a mess." Vasya chuckled politely. "Marks two layabouts going full blitz since I upped. Would've stayed had I known the lineup." "Just get to the ground mate, sick of the fact you have legs." "I'm starting to vomit this opinion you have a spine." "Alright, that's it, you get one chance to argue your life here." "How of these witnesses, beisza? Everyone here knows you. You're not some faceless clamber lately down to [[sack->msack]] and [[swill->mswill]], you're a sailor, people recognize you, Marko." "Yeah, and who's to the count then? Just a bunch of deadeye sendcheats and some sweaty perverts from what I see, not what I hang about. Suppose they know you, you laggard, but doubt they speak of me as I am said. Show one to my known eh?" "How's your one here," Vasya nodded to me. "Could you stand, ace? Show yourself, shall ye, let's chat the three of us, just like the good times we can pretend we've shared." "Leiru?" Marko wrinkled his nose. "What in the? The hell you doing in this, this kepka?" Struck by the light, forced to answer, blinking –

"Dunno, just sagged out to morsel." I. "Leiru lor, you’ve sunk to this dredge?" Marko’s disappointed in his bewilderment; coalescent certainty crushing his bewilderment. "Always behind protestors their complicities heavingier than the silent! All your coy elusion of libido yeah draining out Imeni stocked up here, no doubt!" "No, it’s not like that, it’s just, I mean, to eat -" "Yeah devourer certain, you don’t surprise your waddling in, watching what you’ll relish the thought to purchase, rattling clinks of a deathrest lasciviously consumption bulbous! To think I trusted a thief, I [[robbed->mrepay]] of all trust, how can even you percolate the venom, last of the curecallers? Used to hate myself to sleep with ringing indictments of all the purity blatherers haranguing me supposed alternatives, but what alternative is this, hypocrisy thirsts [[rampant->mstruck]] and [[ravageful->mmurderous]]? I’ll show you [[ravenous->mbloodstained]]! Nothing good to this world, illusions like you least of all!" Furious burning the heaviness of being he heaved open hopepanic, scrambling to dodge a stab of the lances, and another, and so many further I ensued inside the antagonism anatomized…

"Just, I um. Eating." "Eating, eh?" Marko's voice deepened. "Where'd you get those coins then hmm? Rake them from Jaufrei, right, you worthless? Lying sendthief, and you won't even share! Despicable. Unbelievable. I'm actually struggling to be this disappointed. I really thought the better of you, Leiru, I actually did if you'll believe it, but I guess I was wrong, you're just but another cheating sot as everyone else in this damned gyah! Jaufrei was right about you, isn't that sad to be so gross even a Jaufrei could call you to rights. You only minnow pride better, but you're really the same, you're that same whining trashheap as every other mirrorcherish willing to admit he thinks. Eating in this place, this wretched brothel," glared at a wormly sprawled beneath him "despicable. Vasya, sure, foaled in the same sewage that spat us Volya, can't blame a bastard for his lineage, but you, you priest of the masquerade, you prance about your heaven mutual in our heaving, you dyenne. Liar! Eating here! Ha! Can't even hulch it, the hypocrisy. Wouldn't deign spare me a coin, but oh no, here you are sure enough feasting your foul unsateable. How much you clink in that [[bloodstained->mbloodstained]] purse, eh beisza? Enough to snag of these later? I'll bet. After, and after Imeni, after you dragged her along your unwilling to pretend humanity, gods, if it wasn't so gross I'd vomit just to choke to death on the gross. I humbled myself before you, desperate, dying, and you wouldn't paltry me a single coin, not one, wouldn't even look at me, you kyauska! You drove me to this, I came to you begging my not this, because I thought, well and that was your chance to prove the change you blather on and on on, I played your mythical beggar, but you pushed me aside to get blown silly with some sobber you'll plaster your idol's face on, eugh. Where in this filth is the future you smudge ears with? Can't see it. Wouldn't even answer me, but and it was for your benefit the like, to help you with those rumors, you kyauska! I'll give you what you for, I'll [[repay->mrepay]] your kindness in full!" Inferno thrills raced his blood burning through chugging gears churning wheels so fast hard thrash hooves he pommeled the ground so ponderous inside my nerves a powerweighting unwieldy colossus uncontrollable by so small a soul: his passion jostled him to rush the whips' intent as a warlike spitchortle hacked him along the fusing of his terror at his own momentum and his blaze enamor with the jarring strikes jouncing [[murderous->mmurderous]] intent along his enveloping everything whirlwind sundering bays in hate's sheerness swells, titan balking in a beyond our scope to see eruption, lances in a fatal fury. Fizzing bands of sulfurous cardinal accosted my sudden drop to sprawling beneath his red rupture, scuttling back like a crab as the first lance [[struck->mstruck]].

Ragepious reared up eclipse untouchable. My gasp sizzled into Marko's dark assurance as he struck: to the left from where my hips squirmed, then thrust next where I'd fled a few inches left, then up on my hands and knees, rolling out of the way, backing up, quick wild jitter jumping, skitter crawling and clambering over seats, thwarting this strike, jumping this swipe, ducking the dual lance sweep, pantomime duet of hunter and hunted in microsecond brevity, a deferation plea from one embodied violence to another, ceaseless scurries reflecting the demand and its answer with a parry for every point we imagine we make, a flourish in his fits and a frenzy in the flitting away, absolute scream that this must not be it, let it not end here suddenly my voicemaking, there is still a will in narrowly escaping each time from the deathrush in the killing glance blazoned, a positive and yet against the graveswell tides that pull and pull and snatch the leg to drag to sinking, drowning, bubbling out cries to an airless smother, down and away and further from the sun, on veils choking as sight slinks to the vortex closure in an ultramarine tomb garlanded with silences bleeding out shrouds of charcoal and charred indigo swathes incandescent in the aquatic glow, Jaufr's deepbloated [[corpse->micerupture]] grinning the fathomrizon. "Insect you are, crawl! Haughty, but your infected tissue festers same. There's no cure in you, no cure to any of this, don't you get it? We're all pathetic! We're all insects, Leiru, you and me and all these cokyessi" he slashed his lance across a slower crawler to dip his tone in ruby "and I'm sick of it! I hate this, this Tower, all of it, and especially you, Leiru, you and Jaufrei and all your kind, you dreams dangling atop a base ruinous with others' blood!"

Dust obscuro portaled the kick past its pretense, Olyasz's hair swaying with the force, and bright energy burst from the resounding [[separate->micerupture]] from its smack a laugh. "Well, though tried," he shrugged. "Wager we'll never fix it." "Where's a mechanic when the need?" Teminu. "There's the joke." "What ho Kobyu? He lives near up, no?" "Gods, Kobyu. Wouldn't shut about a soundbreaker last I saw him, wound up wishing a cur had half feasted my face so he'd not have known me." "Kobyu's also dead," Mazyu. "So there's that to counsel." "Dead? No way," Teminu. "Since when?" "Since last something or other. Killed himself. Didn't you hear?" "Bysze, no, no one told me anything." "Ah well, it's sad actually, the poor beisza. He was working on some mechanical thing right, super absorbed in it. Apparently he'd purchased some relic from a salvager on Seventh or likes, but he nabbed also some kind of blueprint assure, all he would talk about for spilling on a month was fixing it to the run, said none's done to the height since generations. You said so a soundbreaker, Olyasz?" "To my imagine," Olyasz flattened his face recalling. "Wasn't really listening to say the spite. You know how it is with him. But that's aches and aches ago, couldn't still be on about that ha?" "Nah but it was, was obsessed Kobyu was, spent bright and night on this thing, wouldn't slip but to drink out, so then one to Yoni's gets he super blown, upbeat to hyper, slurs his drunk to some random on how he was fixing this thing near finished, what a bit it was, revolutionize how he worked and the whole, how everyone would, would work, or uh well his idea of everyone, or so anyway he slurked, to the milling up he graggles his way home but to find the drunk dyenne he'd blathered to had wandered his room meanwhiles and played about, like all about, like breaking off parts and dueling with them, Nolu said it looked as the place had been rocked by a whole party, tons of people throwing bolts at each other, surely some jousting surely, but they'd utterly destroyed not only his soundbreaker but basically every else he stashed. Kobyu gushed his throat like a vein and went running about shouting a bunch of gibberish, like really unintelligible stuff, old words and whatever he imagined lay between them, a tonguestorm, gabs about going to meet the uh, or no, it was uh, he was the disciple, going to meet, uh, or whatever, and just drowns himself, then and there. Straight up sended himself hey, spectacle." "Ah, so much a shame," Marko. "Why?" Teminu. "I mean, to my mind, the right go is to hunt the drunk, right, not kill yourself. Poor Kobyu should've gotten his revenge, you know, instead of just, you know. Settle the score. It's his duty to, like to be as much as he preached, he ought to have followed his scriptures to violence, I mean he had the machines to do it. Make things right, but whereas suicide, it's like, nothing changes, the thinkless who broke his machines have won over him and us to this waste." "Right but what's he care the principle? He's gamed out, gone from the consequence. I imagine what you think of him has slipped with the earth his mind." Teminu. "Yeah, and he didn't have the right!"

Like the pirates were a storm yaw and dip deaththroed the ship. Backed into a corner as one of them knocked me down. Staring up at death. Crackle of my brain's furrows electric with stimuli. Intricate spiderwork network bulging the eye bulleting in hyperballetic tandem. From my veins panic burst out howling bloody in a blindfire blitz which burnt my face to leather, cinders and brands question, a weapon. Submerging in orange froth the struggling revelation that I had run from problems escapeless that found me there more in a mask blatant neared the actual if as my chest ruptured revealed manyhorned the beast emerge. Beyond the buoys chased by within it into tempting causality by wandering into its untempered care, was there not enough death on the waves that I had to bring mine with me? Fallen into a plunge earthpiercing I permitted the sunken my answer, only running to seek a separate sword to separate this head haunted by bloodsplatter on a bannerless sail grayer than the ghosts lamenting through the shroud, runniness of our rust blood on the headache steel. Cracked skulls, collapsed chests, arms without owners, legs from none. Beasts baying to a slaughter obligation. Every impulse deadened, the mind shuttered, and I heard madness gargled. What had been yelled to me, over and above me, against me, dimmed beyond visual evoking blocked in statement in the anemic fray, Jaufr and Nejani and nothing else but pirates, and there it was, a tear, the first tear is always a surprise and under the gibbous jury weighing I grabbed a fallen scimitar and swung it sobbing, wretched, broken in frenzy, and watched it, myself disembodied, disembowel some also violence, a pirate, a friend, a god, this world or that, all meaningless; certain only of death and the unglut desire of loathing. The surprise of actual battle bleeding into my hands rattled rather than instilled reality, [[icerupture->micerupture]] soul in immolation brackish, warsong percussed by answering cannons. Rebirthed in furor and tumult's fangs and claws, berserker brutality brawled my inhibitions and won, and so with scimitar sways I cut the cutlass cloud killing my portraiture in viscera splatters, hewed limbs limp and dangling with threads of torn tissue, incense to the final song sounding. Marko's shirt flushed liquid life, and I denied all of it with my hands, in a single fluid outcry action I slammed his head against the counter. Splitting sound and a chunk. Cry out in pain, but I took his head and slammed it again, over and over again, three, four, five, six, ten, twenty, infinity, ever and ever on, head to counter, head to counter, screams, pleas, pain, tears, terror, crunches, coughing, crying, all through it crying, and I heard – "Absolute fantastic, I'll honest," Marko nodded as he wiped blood off his tunic. "I never knew you had it in you kid. I'm surprised, pleasantly surprised. You've grown up. If that's in you, you're dependable." "Is Jaufr okay?" Staring at my alien hands. A flounce of beleaguered amusement. "Yeah, your boyfriend's alright, don't worry of him. Little coward hid through the whole of it, probably still is." A shaking of the head that sounded like laughter. "Never occurred to him he had the keeping at stake, or maybe true he did, but then so much the worse for that pathetic beisza." "Am I, am I okay? Am I fine?" "Ha yeah, you're straightened, buddy. You did fine. When the time comes, you've got to be ruthless, you've got to be heartless, and you were, you didn't hesitate. You knew when there was killing to be done, and you did it. That's quite the accomplishment. It took me years of arms training before I could kill a man without thinking. "You know, Leiru, I never thought I'd have this to say, but you know, you really good up the gunsman. Who to have guessed it, what with how quiet you are, and, well I'll, how effeminate you are hey, but when the time comes, when the die is cast, you're a real fighter, you're right up there with the rest. That's good. That may come to your advantage. It did today."

Covered in ink blots the hedge pseudolines saturated the strike piercing my fluttering sleeves. Wildeyed I kicked him and stumbling backcrawled to a stool I had knocked over. Marko spat and misstepped his dodge into Vasya who put a hand on his shoulder, swoosh tumble palm nicked – "Marko, whoa! You've lost it!" "Have I?" Marko snapped. "Have I?" Vasya skirted both the screech and its scraping recourse, then dropped to a low pose and kicked out his heel catching Marko and crashing him over. Vasya scrabbled on top of him and a vague red mist of punches and balled slaps melted into his fist trying to lodge inside Marko's mouth, then spread to an open hand trying to cover it instead, then Vasya kicked away, having freed a lance. "Leiru, quick!" Vasya. Marko struggled to his feet, but Vasya bayonetted the lance, causing [[Marko->micerupture]] to back unthinkingly into me. When once Jaufr and the midnight musically quiet caught into a rhythm sacred he ghostly held out a dream I drunk desperate, saliva dripping, wishing sanctity in the deluge, and he smoldered to my ashing a drearblur mutesparkly, when they ask of you your life, Emnin, you can only reply as all your yesterdays, and I said, yes, the hollowed in which you hide.

Marko's body lay below in sharp angles, separated in segments in [[vertigo->mvertigo]] relativity. His neck yawned open; his face fell flat. Blood and specks of brain littered the floor. Slowly, my surroundings. "The hell, Leiru?" Vasya retained his vomit. "What the hell was that? Baelu, it's all over you!" "I don't know," staring at my alien hands. "You told me to kill him." "I didn't say that! I said, I meant, that you should restrain him, or, not to, not to kill him! By geskecz, you just wouldn't stop! There's, I mean look at you, it's all over. You just slammed him, you wouldn't stop, I kept, I mean I kept calling you to... hell, Marko's a good friend of Volya's, when, when he hears, you –" "He tried to kill me!" "Well, yeah, but –" "But what? What? What would you have said to him had he killed me?" "I mean, I, but it's you, Leiru, you –" "I'm a real fighter," I moused. "When the die is cast, I'm a soldier." A [[pause->mpause]]. A long pause.

You're gone, lost, no longer where you were. Where do sounds go when they die? Flutes of our youth fall silent. No more the soft whispering of ones you love beyond your ability to rationalize, even those who hurt you, especially those you hurt, but in this bunker between these strainings to here rests a sing chronos city muted in which wayward pilgrim why mutters please to any friendly sound mind in the tongueless abysm slowly closing, claustrophobic eternity. Crushed by pressure, channeling the sources long since dried, chilled. What might those old touches feel like, forgotten now there's no smile still worn. Elusive joy prancing ever at the edge of potential, robbed, and who's the criminal? Stealing essence hints in our each incursion, collecting what is shed to mold into a bust to place atop a pillar to speak back from higher authority, we have to dig and take to know one another, and there is nothing left to steal in the dull grating of steel place. Iron taste of throat blood choking the emotion reverie flesh pulping in the throat when so alive you wish to weep so breakingly your body to flood become this image, transferal to the immiscible reminder that things ongo in the floating eroded. Too lates by which we count the time, converse with ghosts in grandiose tones all you could not express, but they will not echo you home, you will linger in the seamist grotto as moss embalms the differentiating noise. Memories sleep; the morning mists clear a horizon unrecognized: living is your net fingers spread to let the uncontrolled impetus flow through and out to sensation's lack of binding. Stem the tide? You mean stem what has already [[flooded->mflooded]]? Gore dripped to draw out my hidden trusswork. Winced the desire that Marko's blood splattered not, wounds sluiced to this gutter but not gendered in its muck. Death, but what does it bear on me? Had I really, tottering horrorstricken [[redcoated->mredcoated]] in permanent mute scream, survived? Wet squelch as Marko's head split on a stair. Jaw like a blade on a whetstone. In a rusting pipe with several layered dirty linen spreads splitting the source to thin shades I saw selfportrait, the low glow extension of the clammy cold in my talc palm scratching initials and the initiated unundoable, do not, slammed to my knees, my eyes echoed vein lines, but I chomped my own enamel, I am over, do not have an answer, do what must, though I know I won't do anything, because life is the greed I ask of everyone. Delusional to believe the expression of whatever nucleus composes us is innately beautiful, powerful, moral; no one guarantees that, no one says you are worth this inane innate, and slushing this corpse down these stairs indicts the whole system by which I live: I am this action that sullies the world. I do not want to open my mouth for fear that what I think comes out, my speech tears. Marko should have been allowed: we can deserve it, the killer can be right, we can truly be empty arrogances presuming to fill a neutral ground, delusional torsion to a separate stalk to grow from, refusing to face the fact that maybe we are is not the best outcome. Act revulsion seized me throatgunked shiverfurious, [[desiccated->mdesiccated]] truth, desaturated lie. Plum luxless under a nightmare splotch white me dragging Marko. I hugged the curving downwards, aquatic glares still in every infinitely removed object tangent to my empty path to a [[ghostsleet->mghostsleet]] sea, a sea not hungry but willing to abide another. Cursed noise gurgling along the rims reproach. What does this mean, why will it not? In the moment so vivid, in the action so fraught, but this lack, this lack, I cannot take it, I will rip open the cog and drink its clockwork causation, spit the steel residue, let it coagulate, course through to something, anything, please snow here on this clump splash starry of this fire frozen, show on Marko's dwindling face, this slight chill shivering… death uncloaked and made skeletons of those who beheld. In the sea Marko sank the same, and I watched unchanged. Something is wrong, I admit it, but I have no idea how to name it or solve it. Something is unsimply wrong with me… perhaps that sentence tilts harder to the end as all things do. I stepped as if I had the justification to do so. I should have let him! Hadn't he? Perhaps he had, and this was just the long spiritroad back.

Would torrents wash us free of everything we fail to be would we wash out of the womb and mean, but broken to say ourselves, whatever dust we dream so, we gloss the loss. Breaks you to say your sewn pseudo, your false before the true is your truth of this all false, so they say. Worn eight ways, each of them wrong in turn, worn out. Effort expended as excess expression stranded me in the gap generating the gushing, the struggling, this [[straining->mactually]] day after day to a gradual nightening. Why if even I will not answer?

Listen, you violence, steep in this your soul wrung raw afresh upon this wilted materia, will thence again will you last long enough, stop before the sting... saliva trails tinged purplish by poison... you cannot hide in someone else as once you did, once considered running strands of her hair along my tongue, biting, yanking head to head, swallowing, letting it root through my brain, sprouting through my skull, replacing mine, but shunted in this sleeve I have nothing but wrong, Marko was right, I should have, I only stopped him out of, what, this virus? Isn't violence the symptomatic torsion of energies constructor constrictions? In my murderness made real, unveiling my am. Synaptic interruptices implosion pyre the hollow order halo, massacre saint paean in the gore and genome, genureflector emptied to this externally internalized sign. Towards a raucous [[actually->mactually]] I mothed though my pockets rustled empty... should have robbed Marko, haha! Then they'd be right! A gruesome laugh uncurled from my bluedried lips.

Gnawed numb all avenues, every door a deadened, no awakened springs this vivid hex upon the pall. I think nothing unless someone invites. Can't even seem to. Else the annunciating resplendence I dull lamp industrial upon these nowheres stretching ever onwards. Like trash. Sight stuck in a smaller room than me. Experiences [[flutter->mactually]] through my fingers as I erg. Hypoxic, lungs crinkly, clot sensations building up in a bruised brain.

Lightwash puddles sloshed across a dusking sunsea's shadetresses wavecrests puncturingly bright but in a blunt white to bash the eyeballs in. Suppressed tense I coiled eased to a treethreaded gale's glade sigh. Kindling confusions in my wincing at scintillating brainpulses inflamed my migraine. Paleflash corpselike bringing the brainbuzz to the bones for burial. Wanderjammed in this way, in the way hall hollows I haltered groggy through as they wind and go dazes dead months with nothing to [[tingle->mactually]] memory specters. Waking up is the lie of initiation, this now, but there is never a now, I have been gone for years, and this is the next night of the nothing. Nothing forms, everything blurs, drainblend touchless sentinel of noninclusion jet surface serene as the life slips. Where do we go from. The hall hauls on. Leashed dragging follow.

"Ahoy Leiru!" Kaiya rushed to hug me, pulled away in disgust, noticing the blood. "I uh, I was starting to worry uh... what kept you?" "Marko's dead." "Oh." Kaiya looked back at the others who shrugged. "Well." "Hmm," Imeni nodded. "So," Mariena nodded. I guess I nodded too. Kaiya gnawed the side of her tongue as she reformed around where I seemed to be instead. "Well –" "Ahoy the less [[annoying->mannoying]] one," Mazyu lurched over his sister Mariena to greet me. "Leave off, Mazyu," Mariena's expression slunk. "Ah never the worries ace, I foreswear the fight this tipsy, that's what this next drink's for!" Marko's face as he sunk, had it been a grin, tacit pride between the wreck and roil of skin and spine, the salute between a soldier and his fallen angle's shadow? No, I must have imagined it, there had only been shock... "I, did I, miss anything? What's happening?" I. "Captain Myeri's brewing up in the backstore some speech they say," Mazyu. "He's waiting for the proper angle of night from so's I heard, gonna be, and I quote, called to the preciseness of the hour." "Trash to Myeri's tune," chuckled Mariena. "That's the thing," Mazyu. "There's not a dyenne to argue, right like, Captain Myeri controls [[time->msailors]] itself, a gift lah, deciding the hour to the whim, what power! Captain indeed!" Imeni chuckled. Jealousy wormed me aware, then a sharp chagrin tinged, then a resignation dulled, then a gloom slept, all exiled in a heavy breath heaved. Had my eyes become Marko's? They seemed to see differently. "What do you think it is this time?" Kaiya. "Olyasz's the attest Myeri's in it with the [[Veda->mveda3]], and I mean it's gotta be right, can't be a coincidence. You know about the Veda, Mazyu? Olyasz says they're staying in the Docks like as we speak, can you believe it? The Veda here in the Docks hor?"

"Yet to catch the rumor why I care." "Always gotta be cynical ehh, never [[belie->mbelie]] us mutual can you." "Not being cynical, I'm! More like ehm, sardonic sincerity hey. Have you heard the word, sardonic? I heard it recently, and I'm in love with it. I've decided that actually I made it, it's my word, you have to say thanks Mazyu every time you use it." "How the hell you make words?" Mariena. "I thought they fished them out the sea." "If you're especially inspired, and I'm drunk enough to imitate, the growl slips out original." "Yeah but if it's original then it's not a word because no one understands." "Maybe when you finally discover a new word, like, a bell rings, everyone just instantly understands, we all look up to the sky and smile." Imeni. "Nah, because you've got to explain what it is when you use it, like sardonic means to be like, it's uh, it's kind of like um, mocking, but it's a very special version of it, because, well, you wouldn't understand, you had to have been there." "I've heard sardonic, we all have." Kaiya. "Doesn't it just mean cynical also?" Imeni. "Yes." Kaiya. "No!" Mazyu. "Never the slight of it, you haven't heard the word, you're thinking that." "Vital that we argue it." Kaiya. "Like Pyeisa's cynical so, whereas to my account is just the enjoy a good joke, so like, I'm sardonic, that's what's special about me." "Ah, so sardonic's a synonym for obnoxious, I see now." Mariena. "You're a synonym for obnoxious!" "So's why Pyeisa's not sardonic, is he's actually tolerable." Imeni. "Nah, you know what, I'll let the jibe free this once. I'm in good spirits, think I might get employed today. Besides, everyone deep down knows Pyeisa's bad and I'm universally good, so it's not like it's slander." Mazyu. "You don't have to be so mean and say it's not slander. Trying my best." Mariena. "Gotta sink lower, you know better than that, Mariena. Hit them where it hurts. Bring out all your latent rage, totally outstrip the purpose of the insult, throw away the stakes of the conversation and just strive for pure pious malice. Go for the ego. Desecrate their humanity. It's not a night of it unless they stumble away shattered as a person." "Well, Pyeisa's blastable, and you're a howling fester, so nobody cares your virtues as to his." "Dozens of grades up," Imeni. "Absolutely," Kaiya, "not even a question." I nodded. "Oh, whoa, whoa now, you've crossed a line now, I'm going to have to ask you to apologize, I can't believe you'd –" Mazyu. "[[Sailors->msailors]]!" In an unmistakable [[baritone->mbaritone]].

Glowering blotted the all with dark. Wished I could think a thing obliterated and all its roots. "You know, Emnin," Jaufr swirled his drink like one not there to drink it. "Was considering the earliers, and ah the bit with Ayke dying got me considering how so many of your dreams end up meaning nothing if you don't incorporate them in new ones. Ho instance, used to have this dream about climbing up to the Veda hey, that gig, obsessed to it the way all mysteries that don't need answers obsess us. Ascending to the Veda blessed me dream material in a time had none, all my problems arrayed themselves around this uplifted absence, if I could, home is the furthest thing from you, and that's all I wanted, reach, to be gone and be at home. Prove yourself to the world as it proves back to you, how convenient it could've been if the Veda, if that had been it... hhuh. Did you ever have that dream?" "Like everyone." "Well, suppose I wouldn't know. I don't understand everyone." "I think that's mutual." "True enough," laughed. "When I was younger though, really hyped it up possible in my needs, ascending to the Veda. Sneak past the bandits, the scavengers, wights, everything, strain all the way up to the top and whatever secludes there, become a part of its apartness, I could do it, could live it! Can you imagine up there with the bones of yesterworlds, this can I dwell alternate selved… and even so had I adventured the way up there to find them blank yeah, those Floors, or worse like to just some reflection of this, still in the act at least proven I was able to make myself not of the Docks, this stymie, so had been no Veda to find then ho I the first. Had a friend, dead now, whose mother used to scavenge onside, so she'd been up a meander, she'd such stories, and that the ascend she said was like their big test, if you could reach them you're adjudged worthy the joining. Course, those were the days of the lock, you remember yeah, terror of the whispers Akuso's had collapsed ah, quavers of frenzy they were, so every half brave thought up an apocalypse they could soothe with rattle trinket wisdoms, some of them to needing summon the Veda or hide with them or whatever they thought up to that sky, so the idea of going up and joining the Veda was a hysteria, entire economy to it, used to be that on Fifth, and this was back before it uncivilized remember, a whole avenue to slinging gear to ascend, like people offering themselves as guides to take you up to Tenth, Thirteenth, Fifteenth, what have your wild, like a bounce of raggedy thieves prim behind booths just soliciting, absolute mudsoul sitting all nice haggling price with some dandy slushable above Second. Bizarre ah. "So's I got to the Eighth your verify, a hostel up there, kind of a last pass through, and I'd spent the day arguing with some slipper on the Seventh over, some trifle, so I'd to curl the night there, and I, I had this dream, even to this day it shakes me, so vivid, feel like I may have somehow, actually lived, something, but in this dream right, was moonlike alone in a pool gleaming upon a peak slope blanketed by a hyperthin black that would pop with little bursts of mote light, blues and orange, neon, some promise of an outer shell, but in the sparkly I could sometimes pierce through and see it right as if it were real, soft emeralds bejewelling snow bedecked boundlessness, the continents themselves I swear it, the paintings alive... I swam on a rising and falling solid, flash frozen sea diamond and crystalline, gods it was like I was ashamed not to glow. Can you imagine it, surely you must taste of it in the awes I milk to our agonizeds, something so beautiful that you want to be a part of it, that you're horrified you're still you in the face of so much better? Leapt out into the stillness wild, tried to dive the land, to drown inside it, roots tingling my spine a language earth native, and I grass splashed out upon a prairie or so, larger than a whole Floor, fields of fire, morning glories blossoming indigo lamps waymarking a scintillating countersky, so sharp nearly scarlet, and I raced through hatchy luminescence lingering the separation into a platonic solid jutter composed of the natural fray unheimlich, testament for the trees themselves to look back upon as we do our own mythic preghosts, but as soon as I felt like I was treading into its sacred rhythm I reeled with vertigo atemporal, spinning impossible through polygonal orthogonals of intra and infra determalinative invisibles included sever ions base contouring second gravity of the assumptive immanence of gods with no end trance, but ahead below beside inside me I saw spark a shade intoning chthonic hymnal eternals terrible through the cocytean weep my plummet plumed, could taste that terror on my tongue, shook with the beyond time of the end, not death but the lifetime you live as you die, the revision of what's already done in the incisive retrouma as realms translate the next beyond this body unto the bleak I, but even as I abhorred briefly true senses I loved realizing dying its own kind of living that I preferred... does this sound too strange to you? I'd never tell this to anyone else. But it was so real, even looking at you right now, and all these, stupidly tactile chairs, this world of browns and bangs, it's not the faintest figment of that, that uh, I don't know, I don't know! I just, when I woke up I immediately descended, physically to follow my soul aye, went all the way home, and I, swam in the port, dove and rose and dove and rose until I thought I might disturb the [[glue->mbelie]] that keeps these opposites together… really wanted to die in that moment, I can't, it's hard to explain, like in fate's pull only faster or slower floating, wanted in the dream [[wake->mbaritone]] to live out my meaning at a rate worthy of our blood's pumping to panic attack amass. I don't know if I have yet, so fallen beneath the feeling, but I know I have to try, seek out the [[sunken->msailors]] vein..."

Waking's intensity utters more patters than is pure to your [[consecration->memerge]]. Jarring snatched me from this aching. I closed my eyes and saw him: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[City dancer atop contours Unspeakably person in the prism, Keyhole gemlight of espers Unknown pulsing lifeward plying...] Drawn up by its tide sat I on her knee, into her leaning, listening, wondering whole worlds, and her swaying heather hum traced the hero Yenysz slaying the wicked kokenkh, and when I asked others in lieu of her of this kokenkh they shrugged free of this secret tingling [[resonance->msailors]] so I appealed to her to make real what haunted under these eyelids, but my mother refused, I have not read for you to discern but that it might gush in the night when you need it; this kokenkh, does it not howl within you? Heard its call inside my chest of course, slumping to an outside fit for a beast, and I cried, and I beat my lying bulk, but in the shadows lurking I heard the Yenysz come. She was there, muttering: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Kyanne nome dalianna deszakh drovinoya.] To which she said: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[And loves will pass which you cannot defend.] Enduring midnight was she the whitest constellation. Cold broke upon her in paraselene, animus cancerous in the stillness. Like teenagers do I grew to hate her.

Myeri's voice [[swept->memerge]] us up and would not let go: "You of these lengthened shadows, hearken high to the quickening flames! How long have you in this relinquishment squalor slumbered? Beneath rose circlets awaken, arise, why wear you such shackles, you champions, you knights? Too long have we sucked at the stifling succumbing to bone stupors, too long have we eaten dusts whimpering for taste, too long consigned to tombs too tightening noose, cannot on account of the ash unchoke the charred stiffness, scream thirsts pores for the embrace of free air, voyage mind joined you syllables of my tension, do not these echoes awaken the same demons in you that sweat nights as dreams pass bizarre over every nightmare they engender in our spared as of yet, as of now, imprisoned let us break burst believe in an enseaming [[time->msailors]] cannot stitch, unhitch us from the verses they resite."

Myeri in a breath of infinity: "Sailors! We are, are we not, here tonight to face tomorrow? Isn't this what has flamed you hence? Kin of a will, hear this, your call, heed it, your hour, and rupture the withered knifenail claw grasp of all devouring time, break free of the inscribed in bones, in the plummet from the maw amount to comets' brilliance in oblivion! Will you let whispers in the dark endure the testament to our day? Where are the burning tongues to sing the words that will evoke our spirits in yearning hearts? When continuity desiccates us to what wrecks we leave, what chaos will write our names? Now, even now, what Towers shall we build of our own, what monuments memorialize our hauntedness? Shall stars look down and see wrecks of its ghostly [[wishers->mwishers]]? I ask of you, sailors all, if this Tower is to house our corpses, shall we not shape it as befits a mausoleum? Where is the sculpting courage, where the gilding hand? Stand rooted to the spot of our arcane deathkiss if you wish to wilt, but for those of us born to bloom, break through the bulb, blossom, be! Disembowel the guardian sky to drench ourselves in the lifeblood rain! Come, sailors, can you not tell time by the hum in your teeth? I am Captain Damano Myeri, this name has gone unto the multitude to rebound to this point, and on this changeful sunrise shall I embark upon a voyage to the last enigma of our suspension's era, the last feat left for these featureless days, what hangs even now ghostly on our whispers, what to even name summons us as the face unto eternity, that blessed, cursed relic, the Sunken Tower, eminence of time impossible, spectral seal of our perdition. In birth's shadow like all greatness awaiting its hour has it been whispered in shades and mouthed in crags: the Sunken Tower, the final awaiting! The myth, the legend, the glorious mystery of ages, the Sunken Tower! I tell you, this is our goal! I shall assail it, rock its frame with clenched fists. Death shall deluge us, pain shall electrify us, fear knocks upon us until shatter immanence, and for a moment, I promise you now, the waves shall submerge us, the earth shall be washed clean of us, but passion infernal will erupt through the purity to ignite the [[contrasunrise->mcontrasunrise]] staining the empyrean desolate with the spirituality the annihilation cannot oversong! Which of you is destined with me? Who shares this scream with me? Out, show yourselves, I know you to be there! Who shall [[enlist->memerge]] in our eternalness quest?"

An immense exhaustion caked, blue film phantoms in a focus razed. Individuation, when will you [[account->memerge]] your toll? Torches do not seal the lightless. You will be alone, this is the only thing the walls truly say. My trembling feet blank on the hollow collapsed me for me. The sound like a long tongue licking. The scrunched face ostensibly Nejani in the squalid glare. "You ever been here Jaufrei? Ask myself every open of your mouth. Would hazard you glean not the crumb of this stale. You crinkle your nose exceptional, but naught of your difference attains excision, animals the lot of us getting what we more or less deserve the same. No justice pertains but the justice we drama, no exist sustains but the onus we fashion against the howl. Nature crafted not the Towers, rather those who decided it best not to drown. So's why you don't believe us, dreamers, you like being dreamers, drugs gently of a tomorrow that could be better, lullabies as the ground slips and we fall forever. All anyone can hope for really, a little delusion, so blame you do I? Not the slight of it. Who could want more than to better the world your conform? What more is there in desire? You hope, dream, for a second you're not here, precious sure, I cherish you in that lush escape, but what paltries you pitiable, skeins you pathetic, is you won't wake when the adults nudge you to duty, you're not onto the sweat and toil that alchemizes nepenthe, so you've got to slake yourself on other tides. Your childishness is your scar, but your sin is mirror insistence to scar others your image. Better bled out lah. Locus of the end of all things their beginning, and whenever you die, guarantee, last of your mind is how much time you could have saved in the cradle killed. Blessed the abortions be, for they do not inherit the earth! For as so more we whirl, more concentric dizzies our timed, and ah, where deviate from circles? You can color in your delusions all you long, but the concrete disappointment we shatter on is waiting upon the great expanse. May as well awake when as always going to be this, up to you to choose whether that or total nullification proves more traumatic to face, but suppose ho the more you subvert what is with what you might like to have been, more egregious and unforgivable and terrifying your actions become. Hiding yeah, cowardice sewn a tongue, but some of us choose to recognize death as the closure of a sentence, so we'll have the chance to mean something definitively, whatever worthless. Your refuse, well, [[recursion->mstart4]] isn't so…"

Swayed the lacquered gauzy as several carnations petaled the rush hushed dammed behind my iris. You're not anymore, said a voice. You keep trying, but admit it, you're not anymore. Drenched [[sublimated->mstart4]] thrum from deluge nowheres' tephra I coughed, coughed, catching, meltswallowed, nervelines shoot shiver refusal, barely suppressed animal smashing through the density to erupt instinctual rage against the suppressive angel. Renunciation's infinite suffering in the being which still has senses in the minutes plodding nowhere, down the hole to the small death invited, let it be tolerated when it appears as a virtue but never as a need, I need to live out this will not to be thus, but these manacles are circlets for my reigning aspect, cannot be more than I made myself, and I made myself in the delusional gap between tense prismworlds within whose twin vertigos I had to suspend in identification the admit true sunk fetal trying neither to admit nor be true. Driving a course flameward twisting to a strange pathos overpowering the psyche feeble. Battle hymn, bless me, receive me from these steel restraints. Bone resounds horrifying the jostling crowd, nobody wants to see you, push it back under, but there it ignites, my whole being burns, wound yearn to emerge, let this body be an egg, red and mucus slimed eke yowling to a radiant care... that's the thing about shells, hells for the he and she in them, which means there might be something else internally that can [[emerge->memerge]], and is that what I wanted? Or what did I... Damned mercy of the penitent nonascetic, raze me, nullify bereave you art of an inner death, elect annihilate the preservation of something separated, I want to die in one second of yours, leave no ounce of my being unimmolated of its immense burden. In hell the demons wonder why everything is always fire.

Steerless plunging scratching the scoffing subterranean enforcement seal with fingernails to scrawl illiterate runes, wept named rebellion, in the wheedling yaw submission to the infinite. Encaged horror broke free in the recognition and beat my bones like war drums. Under the ceiling's concavity hidden doctrines groaned themselves buttresses, spectral stems extending from what had once been sequestered; we ignore what we know until our touch knows. Acidic repetition, I cried out! Who had I been to be a cracked mirror? Where might I pray, where were the ashen hills that called out in pious grime? Dripped into my body raising my shutters emotive veil to discern some similar shade, but all I saw was the shallows of this wasting cage. Had to mean bodily, or why was I given one? Let me, well then, let me use it! Belay the rust while the lost force envisions the auras to emit from its sarcophagus declusion the trust treasured in a wish, burst me blushbelieved a bloodbrush [[reinception->mstart4]]. The consuming openness of what chance implies dispelling the possession rose me to go, a force so natural to my soul it glided my body out without thought nor will, the perfect action framematched to the consciousness it tortures. Anxieties clouds vaporous headdress wreathed the whisper: "Aye enlist." For a second the hang. "Aye me," Kaiya pulled up alongside. "Aye me," Mariena quickly to Kaiya. "I'm a top aerial, you'll need me on. I won't even charge to skill," tic of the jaw "though I should." "Looks as a voyage to so," Imeni backhugged Kaiya, resting her head on Kaiya's shoulder. Captain Myeri shrugged theatrically. "Seems the women still seethe fire! Is it only the men who have lost their courage?" "Right about one thing," Pyeisa fist over heart enlisting. "Leiru's out of the count of men hey." Volya stepped up laughing. "Hell kyauska, I thought you were on about a voyage, not an orgy. Apologies for the mistake, allow me beg service." Kaiya and Imeni instinctively shuffled aside. Mariena strained a grimace. "Off now, diseased yegani," Mazyu. "Swear service aye Captain to beat this beisza waveward he touches my sister." Mariena strained her grimace harder. "Well hell, if we're talking about beating Volya senseless, I'm along for that," Vasya spluttered from out the dark. "Where've you been, you layabout?" Volya. "Laying about." "Suppose aye me," Tyese. "You got food, I'm crew, I'm starving, or hell just a couple of drinks and I'll die for you." A bit of laughter at this, an anemic kind, the agreement kind. Trickles precipitate the deluge, the echo returns the sound. Captain Myeri stood there grinning into himself as our voyage assembled, the shadows behind him shuffling and speaking evenly in an older tongue.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter IV''] --- Hell's last glimpse of gods relinquishes laughter to the heavenpressed [[glistening->mglistening2]] countergutters. Eternity is endurable within a limitation. Grant me suffering, yes, bless me tormented, so might I frame from being a home, otherwise this endless tracing within an inability to inscribe, ah, free me from the voyage across synthesis and devolve, this rush through ruins of runes writ razescored gored in rusted colossi noired to [[nightshade->mnightshade]] like the crush of shut eyes' black pools blading between psyche pink veinfuzz cursives that subjunct the freewheel and foment deeper wells to force taste danker earth ashblood to taint your tongue a terrorsluice loosing wights thornwinged across the wrack to grow umbral your quivering unquelled to wither horizons where mudboil shadowblur your cursed moreness accumulating lodestone sentinels lying veilmarine beneath the maelstrom swallowing all ships, gatewatch of dead shores, ghostlands graveriddled clumping slick jags of basalts stormwashed by tempests where roaming moaning skeletal legions lacerate planar shimmerlayers with weep, shriek, weep for me you buried heartcancers, bleed me out you wormwood wounds, mistakes that cut deep the ire with sheer need, knifetongue sinmaw hunger slathering on the trembling known never new unknowning, the void cold quiet, the inarticulate depress lying lonely under any curling tongue about to splash to a scream, seek in the assault nepenthe, die to duress purity, how not can a sundered tendril of gods fadelaugh at the horrendously resolutely yet, mutter cryptcrass in the creak so no angel sympathy corrupts this genuinely corrupted symphocation, psalm of any voices akin [[echoborders->mechoborders]] chained ordained a choir, song to hear here, live here in whatever hate that means: never lose sight of the things the days obscure, or you will lose the stars to pierce this night. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Touch outstretched to the foreshock of the incorporeal dull of the violence this court courts as you dance the fleet the fleeting trust your feet believe there is a floor that will hold you as you float your toes with your hand harmonizing to try to keep you anchored to a real they will consider and not your full conjure that animates your rush through the figments celestial spheres in alignment to sol expression portending how timed space will be bent to an enact as a dais to raise us in a spear to skewer the all this underbeast, leviathan thrust apart across the void of self and self and self and self and none of those at all to spill creation glittering in space as a promise and a plea the confession the faint shadow below your emanating admits unjustified this is who I must will to a sorrow I assist but in the destroying assembling is the spirit beauty humanity hopes its history heals before immortals whatever of them we feel when we sing. Crimson vivid vaults from the silver to swallow the sapphire dangling. Silver jewels encased athenas your frame no more present than projected an exopurity to drown you to the dream your lull steps cast across the gazers you magic to mirror the moon in an athame gleam upon the altar draped with pathemes glare whitened by your porcelain orbs set in harbors you forsake to storm. Shroud burial of [[veneermail->mveneermail]] in crown vermeil coffining onyx eyelashes false wears its ensconced as a circlet as the fabric tears to hint your bare smile might break were you not martially poised mortal poison the smile precisely as if to throw your head back and laugh as death encroaches in peripheral darkens you are the one who should run and to espouse the starry cherish you exhibit to force the stars to envy slips from the shroud an illusion blue hymning to your en pointe prelude to releve kalian frenzy. Sea and sky of this horizon kiss woman imbued. This you are be this in this insist in this cyst. Flowers beneath your feet like beautiful corpses strewn along a wracking. Nothing lasts our cheers lorn to bare us forlorn so dance we tiny beauty accumulating we can hide in grow in learn to love in crystals so when washed out we are to stillness our mimic hearts will still bleed imprints of what pumps through it in dailies so much more alive does your face hers not bulwark against the fading of any happiness however imperfectly experienced, what does her expression say, where is the source of the strength she exudes serenity as a sword you need not wield, simply gleam athame, artifice dangerous tingling unlitness recessed riptide fade desire but lotuslight suspends her over the crawling canopy and its countless nooks electric black pillars and red gold primordial pool arches ready to bubble forth new first life an earth after the blood trail prophecy trickles to her head fountain of our quintessence in salvation from our possessedness as fungal saint enthroned in trinity reign in aspect over the palest orange past. She's there, she's there somewhere, inside your [[tomb->mtomb]].

Opaque indifference between eyelids and lidless this immense silence, very last time a beautiful memory occurs to you. Subtle borders of being at the insistence of time bleed seas to a cease in an oasis of here where. Ice tense of in the distance guqin washes over us welcome to a world with new rules unraveling slow vibrato whilst we wend our way through [[shadowed->mshadowed]] by signs stars splinters hung in an earth tones space. About us a thousand lives knotted together like roots growing in superfast motion, cheer gnarls and clear teeth as you bob about snagging of the violence streaming [[eddying->mveneermail]] into violence anew, whirpools sucking you down and spewing you along cartblood arteries to tighter lanes intercut by gloom jagged alleys themselves immersions in a torrent of soft touches, lost in a nexus of connections, hidden intersections of small world knowing, the taste of a continuous buzz into which your head sinks as if there will be nothing but encountering legacies of differences in which spectral I seethe unable to bear, my weeping for Jaufr wheedles out into a whisper portaling through the brick which I follow, gleams a specter emergent from my mergeless withinness leading this exact press of needing pressing hands as we pass by losts in forests of each other's eyes to our [[presenceless->mrecognize]] felt inside our chests, this specter and I, is it who, mystic of its [[moontone->mtomb]] moaning feverish recasting modalities of a hidden being magic, lace of the lanes, place of the same skyview of so many centuries unbroken, face doorway dream to enter indivisibly sleepers huddled together blooming, mushrooms blacklit under a semipseudogreen glow nebulous deminight in which our warmth allows enough unoccluded sun ersatzi to bathe the horizon in just the crimson luster to leave us facing a mass of color as one almost blinded until we turn to see how wildly it washes us as one indigo tapestry. Strangely unjarring we clash against a street, a surface to savor some new breath before plunging into the recession trails of a mythic presentiment creativity, ceaseless urge to be neon skyriver people across strange planet shapes bends beyond our limits to warp us to where we never could have imagined and yet somehow deep down always knew, intuition teleportation, transcendence roads to timeless kingdoms lost in prisms, the rays which kiss a diamond to blossoms until the surface rotates to reinterpret the light alterior stars, vivified in a hundred shifting ways dragon floating along bubbling primordials raining opal wisp seeds until so deep from the dream you have imbibed that not nervous are you sure this is it bubbles about your splash in some sea alternate under some strange bracken shine to discover in how they also tighten around your grasp plush love which whispers the most beautiful lie shrine, permanence of any ceremonially extravagance cry...

Hot life in a closed cyclone, livespace dreams luscious flow floating over the waterfall. Jostled in the molten crowd as she hovers on a glow poised, she, she, so vivid, almost as some I shimmers there electric colors juicing to lush pool pulp vivid tempest, ice blue voice trickling sunglitter water along a glacier's thaw, rivulets running to freedom in a freefall, moon reflector lake heaven to dye in splash. Such a [[shadowed->mshadowed]] self undulates like my nervetingles. I turn to the specter and try to mouth, when did we lose sight of our chandelier chance, passing hues of a passionate once thus roseshifted in recall, I want to see in those shades again to see you so shadowed, I want to be there as you are you, would I dance so pure in this puce present brushed pale in the washed out glare beyond your presence, my hidden sun searing all otherseeming breathe bereaving me in stutters without your please believe me as I creak wandering elongating corridors seizing with a sense of what is at my back humming and hunting, heavy wide azelea facette with vorpal lips and corkscrew tongues anchoring a spindle neck never to pounce but always to almost, the fear my waxy husk burns without purpose, were you to return you would find me so much less changed than you so as to be irretrievable: there is no me anymore, not even you, Nyneme, who, who, my eyes are crossing, corset tying, moaning like the moan glowers down upon us, who is where am I is which thought that I cannot bring myself to say, but one look at my disheveled in the dark, and what more must I? We know each other best when we see how little we can hide, like when we lived the aftershock of inside a kiss, and I couldn't help but see your touch where my fingers were yours interlocking a growing hope whose hymns trembled goddessawed on a learning tongue, believing in your building to purpose as if I might shelter in its majesty, resting in your temples I knew as you moved through the crowd to become crowned by them, queen of each step I studied, empire of my entire emulsified with truth identity. Lace lotus palm clasped by jade stems a hand shy of resting on the breast to warm the skin to summon the heart through so may it ruby jinn gilt espers auraed flutter in and out of reality before the others pure truth nude to pose the soul as everything entrusted half the wish no one would see half the terror they will they must and all the terrified wish they will [[recognize->mrecognize]] your hidden and what ensues will be humans in authenticity and shall it incinerate shall it feed from a flesh more pyre than person.

Tomb. Tomb. Where is she, sepulcher scenes, buried in each constriction. Woe om I'm inside the tomb, tomb. Inside the. She's the. I am her inside the, tomb, tomb, no, nothing gestates in tea hiss, where is this… overhung the chandeliers which were not there [[ghostflame->mspindles]] candles cackled over the shifting halls which no longer led to any semblance stability to strike against but only the rolling and the reeling mass opaque colorless that sleeved me in an upside down pose, neck bent too much to keep the body from crumpling, the spine with it, sweating I splayed out panicked beneath screeching to find myself in a syrupy congeal maple hallway dimly lit but too long for the light, at the end of it, isn't it always at the end of it, the figure, why not here, bent over me, why must they make me move here, why always distance, why not over me, demon? Crawl to me. I will devour your floor, you crawl to me. Slowly it scraped along the tiles like rough seas and just as arctic dark cool. Beneath I see this is where and who like a dustdead mirror, in a hall is a long hand limply windchiming fingers a nail's breadth above the floor. In which [[hall->mhall]]? What is there that isn't a hall? No halt to halls but rooms that rivulet into the halls, thousand secret springs gushing through doors to the ocean all. Rooms have names to trick you: an architect slapping you down, standing fistlicking above you at last the spire they draw out of the agedrooped earth, snarling: this room is an atrium. Do you tingle atrially when you enter it? Geometries blooming room forests, each fractal reutterance nominally assigning marooned eternities to be glimpsed through imprisonment in the chain: this station of your passage must be a foyer, then pass into the atrium, refraction through a rotating prism prison, vivid simulachromes sentries along the spectral borders, see thus your thus in this atrium. A hall a hallucination of motion: free passage between preordained places. A hall over and over and over again between rooms dressed in different expectations by the same exacting, exulting, exalting force. Welcome to the office: who holds office here is who assumes their power delimited to a single space when they sacrifice here their youths to be granted by expansive gods a sign of their favor to demand from others disciplehood. I walk into the office to walk out of it an official. Carry the office in me to my living room, though I live in every room in which I go, no? Sleep in a bedroom though I sleep in so many rooms many times moreso. Were any room anything would it not need anyone to insist it delimits. We are different when we are asked to be so. We are incomplete in how we are stressed. A room is a lens distorting the whole for a sharp focus: peer through the room at people, who is who in where. Where do I go from here: I go, from here: who do I go from this. Well, what isn't locked? To where am I pointed? Gnash my way through the wall out of my hate for the hall, but there am I again replicated, defenestrate to displace at least your soul through your skull. Ripping from the plaster tittering threetongued ghoul wraps me with its wet noose, nothing in me resists, laughing and sobbing are the smile and frown of no fight left inside this, just say it right, say it right, this, to, too... sucking loudly the ghoul ropes me through the wall ragdolled, then abandons me sliced in jambing planes clashing a color seizure, [[stuttersplash->mstuttersplash]] banner of this painking hexagonal. No more nowhere, now you are nowhere.

The hall kept going was why I did even though I slept as I stepped. I trip and shatter. Piece me struggling to jam together parts but lack the right muscles, lost to the far beyond my jigsaw [[spindles->mspindles]] to reach. Surreptitiously sundered so they will not notice nor judge, ashamed to shatter from so small an impact, never let them know you need, always beat back the sun for thirst. Peace is what I beg when in pieces. Let these ruins rust. Raze me when the dayless dawns so bloodless may I singe rose the slaughterizon. Eyes on me non so I perturb the perfect dark to a torn dress, slits like irises countersights widening to withering torn grins. Stormglitter my glass chaos. Concatenation mysteries mazeraced by anxious shard spirits, tempest circuits my fragment lips pray in phrases never combine. Crux dizzy crush collapse whirls me puzzles. Lone communion with my imperfect, open five of my mouths simultaneously to salivate them to the same rain pattern and maybe from the spitgruel will sluice a sister.

Yearning demands orders the autonomous automatically, please automatically, pleasure of being puppeted through what you would have done. Thread skin playfully pulled to twirl me slow ballet on an empty stage, the drama gone, the beauty implied, the motion a blush towards dance, dream this zoomed in, true in, say it, say it fuse sparkles, diffusing the layered [[residue->mstuttersplash]] oozed by brokenness, littoral bleeding, literal bleeding, my arm is gashed and out of the ruby rusted rises frayed veins. Fade being to the accumulated we haves, forced to watch drain the chance. Are we ever recognized? Does anyone ever hear what we cannot say, or do we die into a thousand trembles beneath speech? Who will I become to them in this shattered mess I struggle to sort myself? I can't, I can't do it, I fail, but I, please, understand who I fail, how I am a failure… renumerate your timbres, tune into a sentence, croon your bared, let others know where you are demarcated, where you bleed, how you must die, let them hate you if they must, and many of them must, and I don't care, I don't need to be loved, only known, I need to be known in a way that kills me, I need to die, need to die, I crave [[death->mspindles]] before anyone knows... faults fill you. Never will you be truly free, you chase calumny or a cage, choose. Splitting open irises seism my skin to stare pupil holes out of which flap furions hornwinged and wailing scraping my face off like dust shaken in a [[sunlight->mhall]] shaft. Through the muscle perspirate the uncertain. Nobody will recognize who you feel as. You will never be. You will never be. You have stopped, and who must bid you go? Erasure either way.

I see you ghosts dancing at a diagonal droning I don't know if I can relate to that until I shut my door and stay inside. What more intense an intimacy can I trickle but the coppery taste our bloods fuse to [[saliva->mstuttersplash]]? Negation faces rouged with nettles gnawing slipcovers to latch suckmaws on my sleep to drink these dreams. [[Underworlds->mspindles]] swallowed like weeping lumps. You have beaten me, I am still. Vines twist into your veins to root you. Blush of black nestles my knees in the shred fabric folds. The wind knows the weaknesses in your walls and crawls through them in whispers which rustle you freezing with awareness of what waits and will not wait, the tempest fearsome enough not to need to scream. I buckle, I break, but I do not burst, I will not, not until the [[ashdrunk->mashdrunk]] hour am I killed, I am counting. Not yet. Not.

What weighs the most is absence: the inability to respond when called, being forced to earth but never to live in it, solely to stare terrified as the disappointment droops thisenings closed, to taste expectations swamping sunken. Whose joke am I so enslaved to punchline? To be alive long enough to entice someone to witness all this inner death. I am no one, and I could be no one, I could march [[sensedrunk->mashdrunk]] through my empty into any alike grave, but these demands to be are what kill me, Nyneme forcing Myneme to exist, who, wait who, where am I, who are these people wanting what I can never, there is no, only the dream of it, all there is here is shame. Ashamed before an interloping you. Interlaced failures to become from an origin damnation. Not me. Not me, and I want to quit the nothing, I will if I am brutally whipped forth to fail some new something. Charade of [[color->mhall]] and masks dispelled to the faceless [[tendriless->mspindles]] strangeness. My dignity is all I have, and you leave me the naked quivering beneath. In the emerald lattice of glitters you rest in rubies smiles.

Purple dahlia [[smudges->msmudges]] secreted holes in the door and through it a personspider with each leg a throat weeps me away on its mandible back half swallowed. I realized too late how far it wants to take me, dreamweaver I plumes and passions a daywhile rest. We believe most our own lies. Webfeel of facades relaxed on like most people use lungs. Never mind the noise, focus the null. Nowhere anythings dresses to wear for the fake summers. Blocked in to block out the bleeding. The lasting solstice suspended us each in alternate dispels. This spider ferried me along the overhang cloud dust wish it be better, the restless, restless, relentless mass of need, total anxiety of the undesignated better in which every truth stutters half bought. Purview of these sails, all matters of need are avenged. Trust is lost in the streams of this [[seafaring->mseafaring]]. Both more than repulsion and real says what must be, the idea and its beauty, the body's unbeauty. The spider drops me in an ancient cistern where at last I see the specter as a hauntedness mirror. The specter moves towards... into my skull the specter fades, fades, I wrack at my skull as it seeps, seeps, specter inside my, inside, the noises come from inside my… Plaque drips from ivory icicles and pools damp in the cavern until it calcifies and crystals throughout my skull then beyond it, spikecephalus I assailed the near where the tendrils snap and splinters seal to a mosaic jinn of the jagged versed in low drones, uncanny perceptible impossible into my soul stems the stress as it presses my [[duress->mduress]] to a language, but the outlets burn more than the insides yearn, so you stay intact in a stable numb, nod out to a non, even let days be blissful, nurtured from the decay. No more desire shared us a destiny. Nyneme's specter seemed as alive in death as I was dead in aliveness, couriers of a canceled invitation racing to opposite disappointments akin, tracers never touching, but of its own miracle the specter swerved and rolled and crashed and clattered into my head, and across our debris we hummed a harmony, but the specter began to crawl, crawl across our connection, humming, buzzing, droning in my skull a dream inside my… tomb.

Silky chartreuse rustled against rusted moaning gates. Ash taste hovered as a wondering we too assumed. Mute bustle of the permanent late hour haunted by motion silhouettes ferrying heavy wicker baskets to a never complete work. Deathmask smile of the Glowmoon no longer [[blurs->mblurs]] the hard edges, softens the scene to feeling a dream; encroaching hour of the no longer imbued, the naked horror, the buzzing in my brain's back tensing my grip, speeding my pace, unsettling my stomach, [[glassy->mglassy]] distortion over drowned noises flickering the forever after thought. Pulsing like my memory of a cut out heart, only slower.

Behind me the ship I so nearly never left in the wild of the seaspark storm bobbled. Dripply in [[postagony->mpostagony]] the ship's beleaguered leaned on moorings as if to ensure they too are tied here, eyes closed to contain old, constrict new. [[Terrors->mfear]], both whole and hinted, lie within you, uttered from soaked lips shares of [[soulslivers->mblurs]] forged into my mantle by incidence hammering specific distillations of all lost in its calamitous nearing. Loss and ruin, aches and longing, the sea's ceaseless fury, now apertures through which we each have glimpsed the other. Choked tongue weighing. Air heavy with the hint of a wait for loss. I turned from this image engraved in gauze, guided towards Ayeri's Tower by shuttling workers, uncertain shapes in an uncanny pace like eons in a hurry. From the hull bore they objects from other Towers with reverence should they prove the last new additions to a dying world, work like a quotidian prayer to the we hope still listens.

Up the blasted rock, the seasoaked rock, the stormsharp rock arrayed in fury and [[fear->mfear]] against the charged salvos which have weathered its edifice to misery, this isle hunkered, black mass resilient as the night's winds whisper of battles fought, battles to be waged. Heather bleeding banner whirls distance cry. The worlds crossed, does it linger behind the vapors? All these memories, memories or dreams, wisps of thought unraveling, no, so many duties do I it still owe, return, I must return to this rainslicked obelisk soon to sublimate to the nightmare which cracked the black glass [[sky->msky]].

[[She->mshe]] shook me as distress; she shook me in distress; she shook this stress; I was stress, for me, for her, for Myneme, who wept in the unknown. The abbess weighed upon us another verse. "...swelter and crash then sizzle to ash the veinsoul selfstruck, bleed out your being, be out your being, out be this bleeding, out bleed this being, charge terrorhilation to incidence demise a truth destroyer, piety's countercreative act, stage for more strongly a shining soul..."

I will crack your sky and slink through and glimmer loss, said the abbess, I will spasm wild in your fear a phantom forth, abyssal incursion of the selene scintilla, and I begged for annihilation, let me die true and free and sudden, let go this need to mean more, I am full of the lacking, the desire for meandering, trust not this treasure clutter, litter me worthless on the wasteland, but the abbess lifted me in a purple psyonism slickly shimmering esperial flares, and my skull shouted for [[her->mshe]], I will not give you what you seek; I will glimmer what is already here; I will not gather up what you like; I will gestate putrid honesty. The Koani she quoted: "...nurture need of the chassis culls your contagious, linger in your gel ingress, sluiced to a gutter in an episteme to its wordless expansion gone in a named nullification, notionally risen driven along the recitations mortally preassumed, pressurized potential, your blood bends in escape, prosecuted I crushed in the promontory's lost freedom, really unreal, rested in a relentless, impotent image of the personal prophecy, slaughter all priests on your altar, generator meteor mummified in a binding song..."

[[She->mshe]] spun the Koani on its spindle whirling the pages, sometimes slapping the spin short to guttural out a clause of the ceaseless sentence. "...extract your self poison by yourself exacting..." Spun the Koani. "...despite distraught seeking to requite respite in the rush to further formation, formal foundation, escape the inner chaos in external grounding..." Spun the Koani. "...noise nowhere the need to be portrayed, suffer sufficient in divine silence, burn out your loathing to kindle your truth death..."

Cut down to sprawl in yes, the floor, as inane mumbles nip my heels, made it safe to the tumbling and soaked I am and I ball my shirt beneath my tongue and gulp through cloth. More than anything a cold presilence suspended the need to pull out of this mess a face. The nuns onlooking dripping hidden adjectives, glinting insect stingers, but no recourse because in the escape I am actually free to be torn out of this scene or this substance, whichever proves more pliable, though I guess I know from the way this tumbling gnaws my knees which is more insistent. Voices drown faster than the scream of hearing, inundating total of crashing crests of misnotes and melodies never assembling, never meaning, always hearing. Presence as a present participle. They had ripped me out of my dead pleasant, waste of days crumbs across our torn blanket we stretch further scars in. Hung on the bed, witness in the dark patina, clothes and detritus, maudlin beads trinkling on bottle shards a tongueless prayer. Cave echoes shoved in a furnace to die putter overhead, dimly matching the desert thumps on my eardrums. If only I could envessel [[you->mshe]] in this precious prepressure, savor you the last oasis...

Trembling away from [[her->mshe]] I sieve the mood desemblanced, clutching the Koani. "…inter incrush clays the molder kintsugi goldens of our fragile failure retains us unto gaze others, the absolute in which in which we, consolidated unto formativity that humiliates any of our communion with its seams and rips, thread bare weaves upon an austere pebble marge soon to slip into the harmony erasure indivisionibleed, harnessed partness fragmented on the force of its beheld sever…"

Now not can I lean over into Myneme. Leaning over to [[touch->mtouch]] desperations but stuttering over the electricity to survey the bluish dew of midnight [[moonlight->mmoonlight]] [[luminous->mluminous]] twisting smokes and screams forbiddens, reeling forwards in defiance she rebels through this perchance meforce, [[pressed->mpressed]] into my breast wishing she could [[tunnel->mtunnel]] straight to this heart to demand answers, but strong and musky [[resistance->mresistance]] turns she on me and I am pinned beneath a [[shapevoicing->mthroatsubmit]] I cannot ken having never, myself as myself, wooed it out, or had I, when had I, when had we been in love? White ice [[kiss->mkiss]] on this black rock thrusting through snow wondering where in this [[winter->mwinter]] is the warmth buried as across the tundra stalks our [[breaths->mbreaths]].

Transmission between two isles wryly doused I refused to be carried by consolation tides, continuity as the development of something at least. Everyone I could be could be electricity enough to vivify my petrified idol idylls and still short of humanity would I be pressed into admitting I amounted to because injected into this emptiness I am what is different in the space to which I [[succumb->mthroatsubmit]].

Precious permanence in salival swish, trust the tryst to bliss the twined inside, too much hides inside, even in connect you feel the [[fray->mthroatsubmit]] form, no matter how, never matter when, just for this forever endure in her who holds you true...

Circlets her curls tease in the light breeze. Her knuckles brush my hair on my cheeks reclining as we touch knees. What was said? Looming alien, a monolith in a rose sun scorched to shadow. Booming gusting over my demons and [[doubts->mthroatsubmit]] trickle they in: this is not you.

Did we die between ourselves or become corpsly one? Or: who is this we who isn't? What bearing have they on me? Petulant [[diffusal->mthroatsubmit]]: of course it's you. Own your failure. You are what has nothing inside to express. You're the one pining after a dream you know on a warm chest basis. No, because, there was... And it's not that, not that, grime in the gullet guttural hacks. Scrunched mien drizzling disgust. Deserve this then don't I if that was the case. Deserve what, who does? Refusal identity as the floor refusal cascades me goddess gliding along waves of her domain soaks the cardamom sparks of ghost lamps bobbing transits of those in tracts able levitathion.

Blurred by the same neon bloom I wanted to be rhapsodized and elevated by electric lines to our continuum along a wonder and wisdom sense more vibrant than what the rocks we reside on and are imprisoned by secrete when squeezed by these [[calloused->mthroatsubmit]] hands so desperate for other than climbing, if only to hope that the shades emergent might suppress the parts of me which so quickly calcify loci undivergeable, proteans purling preventative the positives cage, maybe mutually lit in the dreamfloe might we be chandelier neverness douse bliss. In her words a shared humanity evinced things that when thought lurked lonely in my brain, black ink kinship.

"Should dreams stream a little more lucid, who should wish for waking? Reality as changeful as those within it," Myneme upon some lost wintry. "Contact between self and the ghostly sieve without the arid abstractions which plague day blears. Live in the conception truer than perception: the world unfinished, full of half shaped phantoms, rushed through real, even in nightmare is there a more fulfilling terror than in the encroaching of systems, structure ever increasingly predeterminative, riven into selfdefulfilling prophecies stripping you to actuals, simply [[throatsubmit->mthroatsubmit]] to the swallowing semblancer."

My skin weighed me down in a longing to temple to temple touching whisper a skin to a skin and be [[secreted->mthroatsubmit]]. Fault lines spread along the tenuous presence until another but the same presence emerged, dripping human held hostage by a principal of the cohesion, for others of itself alive in both discerning and display.

Wrenched from the sea gravel seeping between bones of the mute gem colossus clutching the vestiges of the fathoms its rise to the surface world forbids forever I screamed silence to Myneme [[worldlessly->mthroatsubmit]] in the foil rustle sea algae mounts cupped fallen moonsliver too placid and pure to shed reflections. Commiseration clouds in my chest clutter, so far distant you turned, and my shivers nodded me. I walked after you.

[[Discordant->mthroatsubmit]] blurs bounced into, off, from, with the ever interlopers dotting the ragged terrain. Wares laid as listless as they were anemically hawked. Less lit hints of less sober crowds lurched off to an alley that held my attention for several beats too long. Cricking my neck uncertainly as the pilgrimage fades like the Glowmoon. I do not, cannot present myself, I cannot present myself, I am not who they would see. Thatched and less thatched and unthatched shacks condensed around a lane scampering off west. High domes winked in the low moonlight, polestar palaces to suggest my way... for my sake, forsake. You cannot a pilgrim make when you are an exile. They have sent you here to die. You can so easily, you need to just... migraine. Myneme, where would you be in this, were there a parallel you...

Where in this Tower is the tremble? What lines quiver too close to closure? Where should I travel to taste those who also this abyss see? Sealed [[scroll->mscroll]] self, worried the night might itself unravel it, would find me as permanently as Kapinya's Veda, whatever they had found so repulsive to exile. No more choice but this chant, no more voice but this chance. Grasping my knees too hard I crumpled to kneel. I wanted to lick the floor until my tongue became it, float slightly above the floor to mirror it, grow grotesque to disgust all who walk upon it, acidify [[dissimulate->mdissimulate]] assemble its secret violence, vituperative tangibility's viper. Spilled into some [[othersea->mothersea]] in the tan alleys grimescored sulphitesick, stumble. Grime pulse hard in a growl debouched through the wall nothings, and I mumbled a prayer. Sepia shook a [[drunkard->mdrunkard]] curled as if to ask me why.

Outcreate the currents that tide you in himmed forcedfed feelers looping into the purpling weep. Deeper in the despair how we fold and faint... "Recite from believe." Racking my brain for any time believe might have stored. Close and breathe. "...believe the need for force to outwrit the ruinous, scribe some stronger strata upon neutrality inhibition cliffs, ramparts to rejecting heaven occluded behind heavened bled, whom you art I curate breakage brocade..." "Recite from tremble." Emblant up to the abbess' gaze, but behind her I see a shape shapening, pulsating migraine outshot her held in mine wish, an [[appearanceness->mrecognition]] stronger than evinceds countertidal: "...tremble until you rescene seclude the core persists effervescing nebulous ejects, accordance of added inside sublimatory to focus insufficient hyacinth looms below iindigo empyreal dawnbreak, shush heurist religious penitent beneat hits enveloping benedict maleviolent upon wracked frayme ascetisms, reciprocate incisions bleedmixing to endorphiltre fix, foaming sprawled upon reckons the shortfall ferrous velvety wrapping tongue rubysweet, interruptive splitbangs interrobanging the brain to submit to fugue blunt lambents, red lantern evear fearous relisted our skewsails to tacks swallowed in salivaless pummelswalches, twitching focused folding in nonpertains iterating each failure to immanence integrist, entregeist ontrepriest conductive effulgently vested for festival of spraints pain pleas attested to power, feint lurch to fullbright revere, swelter desiccated skeletal beneath burn worship the drainer perfect radiant, tanned to this muscled for causal, soldier of the caustic dawn..." "Your progress is impressive. Perhaps we can begin to assign you novitiates." Above the abbess, hugging the abbess' face, a familiar...

Intradrip of colors seams the plinth placed of pure chromatics pasteled, juicy oozy goopy ganache rainbow blenderly. Tang hit of seasalt breezes tease the houses to sneeze drunken rumble ramblers bleary upon the sunsilt wherewithal. They could be judged. They do not have names. The musicbox assemblant marching orders blares ever more frenetic the sways, mandatory brightness shunts us to contrasts. Demiautomatic amulet of charms spares me the askew to scene, so I hollow seam stable heatseens, anguish of visible. Issuing permission to be, several similars screen: ventriloquist upon lavarock masked weeping, mother on her knees asking her children not to bleed more than she can heal, elderly man with a brokejaw squared squinting at the haze for any hint of not this drink, a beggar completely upon their knees extending genuflecting kneeling head down proffering a tray to clink another wintrous week, a child lone with limb missing, the saturnal sky; of the zero sum frame, these matrix whatever you in your identificative horde. Desperate phobic revulsion upwards to climbs few reach, is that your monastic? Never has been, will be, need be, is, I fear, if I cannot the crumbled collateral. Into the hush, a hush. Nonaware go free of this fetid, you cannot, you are want, desire as they do, snuffling for truffles. Processionals of opposite apposites reclaim my alterity to clade yclad clamped. You've no way to resiphon disparation from their amalgamateds, so what do you do, assimilate? I'll never. Exclusion [[desire->mrecognition]] shunts us to composites we cherrypick for calcificates alien. Assume and enter the shade and tremble alikely. "And you're soon depthed by how they, they, and ah, who've you been, lately arriver?" "Nah don't adduce, she's you know of them, that's how she's set." "You've that how?" "Like the look of her is how, you've got that recked haven't you, it's the kasaya is how, you can't see ah?" "No I've known but, could be anyone like, how's it simply -" "How are you eh? Not much, I'll wager. Look at the like of her, why don't you go give it a go, see who she is, who we are in reply?" "Yes I'll, if you say so, but, you'll second me if -" "Yeah just get on with you." "Hey so you're, you're priestess or sorts? Strange you've devolved to here? Have they exiled you? Not as holy as the preaching?" "I persist where I must, elemental of its dispensate. Some beyond the blue clouds, some scattered far, I reside in each this mission." I. "Ah, mission she says, definitely of the type." "Go on, get her to tell you, see what she's made of." "And what're you composed of here? Nothing much, I'll assume. You're not going to rear haughty upon us, will you? Submit, will you? Assume, why don't you, let's equalize brutalize."

Delved into disstray dissemblant reconvenes joisted upon naw um blubbling spew jetted upon jaw, ripped craw ruins carcass directive to whereness straits, straightened into adorative duress, so pleasant pressure points pushed just shy of kill, why not leak me free of specious to spacious bloom, gaunt of room staggering to be shunted, sluiced to tresses, I mean trusses, aqueduct sherry me, or ferry me, carry me to bathe unskewed, or [[nude->mrecognition]], or, purify me, submerge me under the water, drown me, drown yes yes I slather for drown, you have to hold me under the surface until it is cleansed, retreat into shell, abluted of sin flooding in rainbows, emerge dance to alterity thence trued, sewn to berry glisten the noose, I mean juice, nervous hardstance to happenstance, hurt everything that comes after you, you can only be approached in malice, and that's okay, that's so fine ahaha, I really need to be smashed open, that's where the seed is. Take it liberated and immerse it in the fountain, swim into the airlessness and found it, spirity salve, drink to finally quench the thirsts.

Rickety wood rasped over the ramshackle metal and trash buttressing the lopsided roofs. Signs creaked slurred: entrances to tumblers of disindividuation teased inebbreal registers. Am I in here to search out Veda? Why would they be so in here? Question I have oft begged the mirror. Into the mist of ghostly interlopers weaving through crimson milks. Orange coagulating in a forgotten cistern for centuries peeling the sodden decor to a steady, insurmountable haze. My brain buzzed harder, expectant. Why gravity is this I substitute for mine? Should I regret not checking under which sign I shall be consigned, the thought of wheeling to clutch at the door to grab hints of what was missed, but instead the mist, the mist, the mist over the pitter of soaked and dulled roars to catch transits of word vaults spilled comets' effervescence trails soaring icy through me to the endless intended. If not to the heights as I am before them, why not this… Continual tinks short of a pattern unsolving the battering senses' scenesmaking blare and beyond it a raw dull. Shouts, hoarse and heavy. Glooming attention slowfalls from its shadow lengthens. "What's this then? Below the line, Veda?" "Can't be like, just killed stole the habit." "What are you on about? Don't kick the habit, the drink's the thing!" "And is it a sister then, or a traipsy with a wicked humor?" "How's it I'm supposed to know just from sight so, I got eyeballs made of yes?" "Anything but, the way you grope about." "That's how you know his eyes are good!" "Go touch it mate, see which way it tends." "Won't solve none by it, both to the heavy price for touching." "Heavy? How's it matter to you what's heavy? If you weren't bent free, you wouldn't be glugging guttercleanser." "Envy for who can is why I want someone to know if it's a traipsy." "Up you go then ho, seek your own answers, bring us back more questions." "Nah, so's they can curse you, I've heard it. I want nothing near. You try." "I won't try. Desz, you ah." "If'n you tell me whether it's floor or ceiling she's standing." "Don't mate, don't you know what sordid luck to harass a Veda?" "You're the one talking about her ass." "Here I'll man up and get –" "...velleity, in this tomb do I not move, velvet, rest in this bed until the sleep stops, velleity, longing to reach out where my hands do not go, where my presence does not roam, to be absent myself in pure presence..." "What's she doing, aye, I can't, can't feel my skull!" "Get back, it's, she's really one!" "...velvet, the embrace of two people you never see, never are, have to consider from your poison standpoint, but perhaps they too stare out in velleity, who shall say whether we all shiver in mutual exclusion of some ahelion unknown, abyssal bliss, poison standpoints opposed on warring peaks volleying the same velvet refrain, voice as a shock [[recognition->mrecognition]]..." "He's not, oh gods!" "Just leave him mate, he's gone, he's done!" "Shut her up, eah, ahh, my ears, my face, my, my, what even am I?" "Kill me, gods, she's killing me, someone please kill me!" "What's it doing, what's the Veda doing!" "...two searchers beyond their ledge comingling in the yearnsoaked sublimity of two together for how brief a time, for the bleakest return remains remaining after return, as is that not essence, remaining when what is not pushes you in return..."

Tearing through the rift to complete the scene ushered a woman possessed, instantly before I knew her I recognized her as Myneme, who growling devoured the [[space->mspace]] where I had isolated and blood dribble lips to chin assertive zip crimson she purred [[violence->mviolence]] nestled between fangs, then undid the murderous assumptive, beckoned me redo alongside, and we devoured the borders of being mutually [[gorekiss->mgorekiss]]. Haltering I affected by outcomes as we all must be recessed before the growing purpose to understand the suggestion she forced me to [[fill->mfill]], myself included in the purposefully blank, articulated at the point of the most speechlessness, or not most, mere, unsettling how she crawled and why [[towardsin->mtowardsin]] me in that way? [[Askew->maskew]] to our [[reality->mreality]] her intonation.

Warm rain washing the [[Window's->mwindows]] orange cream creep through haze curtains. Smoky amber on which hazel discs repose the skin glide laureled by the closure in dimness. Infinitely [[recessed->mgaspquire]] into idea she laid aetherially intimate, her whispers poems [[sensuous->mspinning]] blur glow passing to erase through spell any static inside which will not believe this ensorcelled scene. I am one by her. Glyph eyes vivid phantasmal luring me to look out from them, but do I not feel, I tingle. Is she to rise eclipse dawns over my horizon to endarken my midnight world I dream.

Vengeance recked its wildness? And I understood. Worming together in tar bubble laughter the shaken unremoved shiver with the impulse to smother. Kill it not me, into the mirror. Egg blot teem heads squirming in the feast riot. Reaching to the disgust mass we are I interrogate the possessed its demon, and all that crawls as response is stripped me this the demon reciprocates, shells of intimations of a ghost we are guessed by others to dress until we are weighed less, the shell cracked open to cracked open to matryoshka remnants without a final terminus: less than a shell is the content judged less material than the shell, the cannot [[container->manchor]]. Dull grinding of not a dream harshness, here is a fault that conforms to my contours, is it not my skull, what else would you see there? Humiliations [[melt->mbrushplay]] us to admittance, thence thus unnameless, and in this the demon radiates notion [[bruises->mmagma]] where wish we sun goddesses ourselves should shine.

Response what could I but a prayer that remains when the sand is washed away as reply she shot inside my mouth spiraling down my esophagus to dig out the verses before this tongue could give them [[lift->manchor]], choking I reel and cough against the intrusion until slimeslicked emerged this being cataract [[clouded->mwindows]] to adjudicate the expression she sardonically smiled against my insistence to believe and in rebuttal I [[gaspquire->mgaspquire]] her name, but she says we are the husks flat ideas leave, before us the undevoured oozes putrids while stained teeth gargle sick giggles, giving soiled sleeves to facetorn concepts, and she looks at me, and she says, watch.

Crush us together oh you night sense we share, gloss us inside surfaces' [[brushplay->mbrushplay]], let us touch if solid must we stay. Into the [[demon's->mmagma]] seizing I held onto what surges human and brushed away the hair to catch gem sun eyes through a [[cloud->mwindows]] their color. Heads pressed and palms pressed I asked this woman her name, and in a voice like waking up dreamy she says Myneme.

Decrepit pale falters creeping as mutual moans chill skeletal phalanges tip stalking breeze under a moon undeniable, under the pressure I sunk to my knees sweating, but the demon lifted me to an orphic umber, hazel willow curls twisted bleak by a blade thought enacted, glimmer [[borders->manchor]] broken in the shuffle we moved within, the face I see when I wake up in the night sobbing with a small smile, the Glowmoon glistened dew as the demon and I nascented atop negation, in the darkness losing her borders, the night augments its angel, muttered through a gnarled copse jaw again the question, and a name the demon glared is why we are so thin except in memory when a thousand feelings roll oceans beneath the shallows in which we glide, why in a scene we hold the sand of the deserts in which heatbeaten we crawl [[parched->mgaspquire]] of oasis is this very lack, noise is the silence, and who are you in either? Muscle memory jolted my chest where lies my insignia but no warmth from the icon emanates, cast aside by thoughts of exactly I know who, and shame and rebellion fused rosethorns, mutter matter cooled from [[magma->mmagma]] truth to shimmering isles on foam sea fever, bled out to chroma blurs washing in one great ocean groan under cry stars sparkle blinks spilling light on what in their pale exclusion they lose, we miss, we fail to conceive, ash loss of touch behind which flares thunderous sensation.

Echo drums like the sound of clouds on which stars rain, in the paling glitter of the dying Glowmoon I struggled to say or see or be or know so infused with magic I rippled, the skin no longer a limit, the outside endless one with what swells inside to lay claim to my consciousness, my calm, my… [[shrugging->mgaspquire]] it all aside rise I to a melii, dance on rebounding abbey stone, domles on glace air, hyperspherical surfaces [[spinning->mspinning]] into reality as my step needs them soul seize the world she evokes of my dwell, oneness territory and traveler, believe this moment eternal lost like a pearl in the sea, believe yourself true beneath the rose glass before the false tribunal, celeste tears the dew on my brow as this caused lifts its arm to touch a heaven to which all these suffering prayers pleading pray, and landing in chrysanthemums we tableaux [[communion->mbrushplay]].

"...earth grasping desperate to [[anchor->manchor]] spits back the [[loose->mspinning]] gravel a name ether written, one must be one, must not one, must not one, must not one wonder what one is, and is it not who one is that is what one wishes were his, hers, what lays [[inside->mgaspquire]] each as each fails each..."

Reflector flares rage antimony to the goliath lesion through which gushes [[espers->mespers]] unending of eons unbegraven. Blaze black blades burnt forests rush through sliced lie deliria. Chance broods in a volcanic glass palace slowly elevating from the earth forever, but across miles meet we in a glance, and fulfilling their necessary nods me to soaring, seeking the sky where we truly have met, [[auroras->mcrafteds]] channeling an epochal cascade whose import and power without imparting understanding or a comfort greater than of whatever this consists melts me open to be true.

Molten to the space between us music, twisted cloud forests pulsing jade trickles in [[saturated->mcyclone]] night surrounds the mind's cry bathed sea sky green, swiftly into the hue you race one two three helices at a time as along you [[drafts->mespers]] prism rotate dreams, memories, passions, terrors poured in the heart's absinthe. Bodies danced in a beautiful but futile show from where we now control them. I can be, can I be when I awake, can I awake to a when, or thus forever this Nyneme gray…

Bless world beat whirl in a ruby burn shaft sparks showering us sheltered in its [[encapsulation->mrumbles]] we in the just of faces of the truth queen's prowl scrambled in the leaves for each inadmissible moment given to breath stilled as her intensity arrested me, concluded me, invoked me, provoked reply from the relentless inferno process whose flare pronouncements our loves thrashed in time. In the [[cyclone->mcyclone]] my hair tiaras, so lay me gale forever.

Along the [[Docks->mcrafteds]] seeking reflections from this black plush haunt where all lighted life drifts over yellow lattice under the gray mass terrace sloped into the foggy sky a single indistinguishable shift from sense to lost glazed ethereal shows me pearls blazing. Syringe [[speech->mrumbles]] slips from their toothsplit grimace and demands I answer for where I reside, and I, we...

Fall silent inside yourself and mean it. Destined inside response and shattering, relinquished the [[manifest->mmanifest]], decaying into whatever after [[crafteds->mcrafteds]]. Acrid sandslashes breezing scars where should be mouths to scream all you have caged, watched wilt, can no more be unleashed. Gold dust swirling patterns in the maroon dusk over an open world proving itself hollow as everywhere which rebounds mutters here hush queen of the nothing to speak. Who speaks the sea from glacial dew? Who forgets touch at the speed of skin?

Whenever your soul jumps it shakes loose a seed, into the world this seed tumbles, your vested self bashed against gates. Entwined where fate weaves you through webs of signification catching specificities as they spiral past. Rooms in which you wasted. Faces in which you were humiliated. Names which loom above you, tugging at your sagging heartstrings. This body in which you are judged. You can flee one, flee all, but you cannot flee what they say about you. Your homes whisper your [[testament->mmanifest]] long after you've lost them. Your lovers sever your soul from the world in essences which you failed and which failed to sustain and which failed to suspend the humanizing touch of owning one hand of an interdigitation over the crippling crush of oneness. We are torn apart by the places where we reside, but we do not float free in an abyss, we float in the sensory deprivation of an echo; from where we echo we are just as much as when we were the sound, even as as muted corpses shamble we sealed. Sent out tide's cry shimmering the deep's tones. Leylines of lucidity slipping to dreams channeling your consciousness in the act of motion, weight to your decisions from the memories mountains hauled by each stressed sinew. Who wonders we are haunted by ghosts? Loves slain by progression; indict us assassins. Cityback titan crawling over windwhisper groves staring jets to the silent heavens heaving the sigh the earth [[rumbles->mrumbles]]. Now I am pure, says the strained past. Now you are.

Through the houses tracing the transmission strange faces partially relayed, reading through the ruin a sensibility, this society long since dead in a dye to discern why its wash stains so pure on this material, succumbed to a pulse palpable in their thumping progressions though teasing away, a [[mood->minsistence]] in retrograde as its tides surge forth froth of frowns and glares and brows knitted. People pass and with them their frames dance. Learning to live here in the resolve of what has died here. Behind me stalks duty's shadow stolid and impenetrable, time bespoke. Trawling my scattered brain for where, where exactly was the gatehouse out in the shifting map of yesterever.

Temporality blazing along the river rustling to [[before->minsistence]]. Ancients ghost the embankments embalmed in suns dying illuminating trellises of gaunt jaws. Light wind carriage over our road selves. In baritone the Tower announces the hour, doom, doom, doom, growls pounding bones. The Tower which seems spliced onto this dim tangibility. Onward carries us the river as I pretend to steer.

Between them I wavered and with several hours of windwet stormy I succumbed to Myneme under the mercurial nod slicking my brain's connection with my body and she led me through the water floor where we tumbled into together, geyser eyes arresting me with connection, the sense of someone else who senses what I do, our hair veiling against outer thoughts and twining one thread [[insistence->minsistence]], strands laying along my tongue a cottony burnt sugar whether hers or me did it signify such a difference and she or the bump of our synchronized rolling led our foreheads to temple to temple brush like a prayer, and why not now and why not this I thought and lost myself in what I felt more than saw, velvet laced taut around a fireball, tongue seance of two spirits surging to realms forbidden their form, feverish relentless sigh ushering me out of my mouth to her instruction, pliant grasp pulled, trying to pull from her and her heat and her heartbeat palpitating in my quivering head a communion consecrated by what we both conceive in secret. Into my ear the ocher desert breeze: "Feel my pulse in your grasp." Chin slinking to her chest eyelashes paw as the tongue teases between the teeth again to enflush me throat around recoils and tightens her bloom puncture to the heard her moan in my hands lies but there I relent to pulse but unleashed she expulses to my soul so tumble we as she swims through terror's joy passion gushes over me in kisses and a question: "What, what do you need?"

Wintry we in the sigh snow [[silkening->minsistence]]. Burning through nostalgia's eyelid sheathing high above salamander banners atop the monastery flutter to the roar of the chestfomented fear that icicles the tongue, but our presence communes sufficient, or so it would have been for me, but summoned as always to a new greater now the beyond my capacity her slightest will gales I quivered alive in her within the confused and deseparate. The belltower imposed gem gongs. Months of verses muttered us through the uncertainty unchanging. Spin the Koani, read the page you stop on, endlessly round and round the circle book sentence, no present but receding, slip out of any new resolution into the plodding and pregnant now. You will never express all you want to. Imprisoned in inescapable silence, so why not avow it? She looked at me in prayer. I glanced more furtively. During prayer! As we mutter to gods, her to me. Each night the Glowmoon less and less. Each night this needing more and more. Glitter sarcophogi in her darkened eyes a curse. Liturgy lost in a split chant, lullaby embedded. "...and so we swing against suppression, seek a suspension, flicker of the design desire..."

When you awake and never want to our when alive, in the rush we are slept along fantasies, no action more than a sequence, but when dry you must grasp the shore and pull is a day. Haunted hearts' hidden terrain teem veins of inexpression that crystal in someone else's not needing it expressed to glimmer similar. We want to believe someone else already does. We wish our sighs a language. Desire the day's chaos to condense to simplicity when we [[embrace->minsistence]]. To be held and held true. Belong to a greater you individe. Is there not mortality in each of us that binds us to a time and a place? Can there not also be a mutuality to bind us to a person and a strain? If not, then all this straining into a person…

In the night we study, in the night we wait, under the moon we mutter, in the moonlight we watch together the shadows lengthen, in the hours elongating we read endless text, we speak its pearls, speak its evaporates, read her words on my palm when she isn't there, round and round the Koani we chase each other, hoping in the next phrase her voice might [[echo->mecho]], any word might in me seem real, when I never have… in the study's [[ironsilver->mironsilver]] stillness she leaned into me her isolation in herself before me, us, this room, these rooms so much larger than the lives within them. "When did it happen for you? The, when did you realize that, like when did all this noise go and your world cleared liveable? When did you know, like actually feel it, or when did knowing and feeling become the same?" She. "It doesn't ah, it is, I don't want to pretend I'm beyond some, some divide... you look at me and see, don't know what you see..." Me. "Pure, the undiluted resilience… some one to can even in the cannots…" "Oh I don't know about, I do not accomplish, but it's, it's not achieving something, it's continuous, motion meaning achieving completion in ongoing, live in the go, there is no final revelation, no ultimate stasis where all our awareness' units harmonize. Maybe it's different for me, because for me there was no before, or not one that's part of me, I rose into this monastery and am it, that's, and sometimes I fear no more, when I am brave enough to let that be fear..." "No, you are more, you are so much more, you are my more, my dignity under this task." "I, well that's... I, you shouldn't say it, not like, uh..." "You know how I say it." "Do I? Listen, you will find calm somewhere, if you can... I understand it's harder when you have, this, weltbild to shunt, learn a new set of symbols, struggling to be free as the translations force... so much within you cries for expression I, you know it, I..." "It what, what? How can I trust myself if you will not, Nyneme? What are we so scared of?" "If I could tell you, the fear wouldn't be in it, precisely the unsayable gnaws the teeth chatterblunted…" "Please, just, anything, like, why are you so frightened of me?" "Frightened! No, not frightened, or a little, but like there's this, what I mean is, this intense vitality [[storms->mstorms]] you in expressions I, it's true I shiver when you do, because what else will arise in this boundless, one can be, in you..." "In what?" "I don't know what, I never will."

"You say that because you know." She. "I'm empty, Myneme. Nothing [[fills->mtryst]]. I am drowned in where I am supposed to be. I know that's part of the point, and I keep getting, every week I'm more animated by the energies, but it doesn't add anything to me, I am not more complete, I am not within it, like where am I, and it's not! But see I can't say this to you, you so precious with possibilities beyond my shunted to wilt, you have to understand I'm saying this from, like I don't mean to confuse –" Me. "Confuse me! Please, I'm begging you, confusion is my living, add to me." Pleading she touches me in a way that shocks me weeping were it not for the nausea dizzy anxiety that spins me beyond any emotion but a sudden revulsion, then, in her glance so shocked wounded, imploring her back to, please… I, you have to understand I, but I shouldn't, no, I have a duty and purpose already, I am dead unto creation, I cannot be as anything other, or I will, but looking into her face I want to sob no, no, no, no, no, no… Storms surge us too airy as our lightning dulls through the skin to a lightness like cheer. So used to appearing, but to then, to someone, actually, appear... through this lie do you sense this impossible to speak and so speak it dulled to a person, I am dying is how they considered me alive, yet in this there is for you more in me how her damask demeanor waves the guardeds away with imperial ease, a dreampass as it comes to pass, blurring through my doors incorporeal, uncontested, there is an understanding when someone will let us briefly pretend ourselves in our humiliation's overwhelming shadow, even as immaternial castigators peer in dubious… what she wanted from me, in those wanderfrees, ah! I envy the trees their waving in the wind.

"You have to know, your knowing is all that composes me!" She. Wish you wouldn't let me confuse you, wouldn't let me add my, my imperfect..." Me. "Imperfection is what has let us shelter here in this shade. Shelter with me." "I can't, what you, you ask is... I could cite a dozen –" "Cite nothing. Speak yourself." "I can't! Don't look at me like that! I, but am I not your sister to this vow, the Veda assigned to involve you so? I must, present myself with, but I, your looks I... you make me feel less than my nots..." "You can be tressed of your knots, in the luxurious shine I want to believe stars this vault adore you as stained glass, light frozen in a cool truth, why won't you tell me what radiates this?" "And be pathetic before you!" "You're not pathetic." "You don't want me to feel pathetic but then you press me to dance before you godhood! I'm not like you, I don't desire skies, I have grown from this earth, I feed from its nutrients, I will one day die into it and from my corpse will flourish the same, the same, cycles and cycles of the same..." "Is that what you want?" "Want! What things you ask! Who wants anything. We have what we have, and we protect it, nurture it as best we can..." "Won't you join me in what you nurture, what we can protect..." "You don't understand what you're saying." "No, I know, that's why I need you to, I need you, Nyneme, I feel like I cannot without you withal…" "Ah, but, you know, as in the verses –" "No! Recite nothing to me but what your heart beats." "I, Myneme..." "Say it to me, please. Say what you know I know you know I want you to say." "What is there to say? I feel like you want me to say some thing, some truth I mined out of my..." "Tell me this: when my breeze passes through your trees, do the leaves gild suns or merely briefly reflect its flare?" "Ah, such words, your tongue is lovely in a way I can never make mine, you speak in how I feel is why I, why..." "I can give it to you." "Don't you, ah! We should focus, we must study the Koani, the inquisition will be in only a week, and there's so much we need to –" Sundered in the beautiful overwhelm a litany in the fire, black smoke spirits we glashly into the seethe summoning venteds to volcanic sing scream her name into alikening a throat, tunnel to tunneling testaments to the steam scriptures unwrit in either corpus condemnity, focal opal prism pureshine shimmer her seeking in these constricts a bind to endure as purpose, as genesis of anew, a law by which we lavish depths upon the cyclical gravitas of the drain refrain majestic, silvery inevitablies we bow beneath sacrosanct dehumanized, purpose mere, machine unto its recombinant cause, rigid arteries of the beautiful hypergoliath we constituent disexist dysperisist particulates this abyss we spangle, entangled her here where earthenwhere we ere we forswear the semblance to [[tryst->mtryst]] zionic bond.

"Tell me this now: do you love yourself?" She. "I, what kind of question is..." Me. "Do you? Please be honest with me. Let this be a moment of honesty and abandon. Abandon with me." "I... you know how that... no, you understand me as does a demon, Myneme. I didn't, ah, love myself, not without finding you first, didn't love the gods, yes, didn't love the calling, didn't know any of this temple as more than a mountain, until there was a blessing that made earth real, I'm so sorry, I admit it, I admit it, I'm a failure, they should never have paired us, I cannot to it… I had never felt worship until I had praise, and yet, how to say this... there's a part of most people that dwells in other people, and being around those people fills in your gaps, fulfills who you are as a gap. We think in threaded consciousness, who we are is always some bit of who is around us. When you lose those people, when you become a silence, so much of your hidden potential like a black cat hunched on a tombstone purrs into the darkness a familiar... there's parts of who I am I cannot know to love until I exist in how you summon me, yes, there are depths of my soul I never could explore, because none ever led me there, as the years calcified this waiting in other stories, this mirror illusion world where we gaze upon how we are seeable, and that's what I wanted, not enlightenment, not the verse to testify, but to be seen, to be the crag that juts from the winterdark whorl, would wait for a sign to intone to the stars refusals to drown, testaments to the truth beneath the waves, the false that respins the impression to reel, is none of this real, is why, is all the unreal of the real we wait for in our unreality, in you, in you, Myneme, if that, that doesn't make sense, does it? I don't know how to make sense. Maybe that's the problem." "You make sense, you are how I [[feel->mtryst]]." "I wish I knew how to reply to you, but when I try there's this buzzing, this clay skull buzz like bonesaw and bonedust, it starts in the back of my head, then coats my tongue, wraps me in plastic, but it's, I suppose that's the point isn't it, to what I am saying, is that same buzz, the gurgling nothing gnawing notions to a gnarl, this thickets me whenever I try to focus on an answer parallax to beautify to mission the mosaic gleams, whose fragments haunt me exactly the same as how I startle from sleep, you sound as I seethe, but when I try to entune with, with you, migraine zzhh drilling like eyeballs hallucinating cataracts, manic paranoias of the iris that the color might be lost forever behind the milking silent. I can't focus right, not anymore, so busy am I daydreaming the failure to reply, and all day at the desks there am I, waiting while they clockwork, everyone else just sits there blinking and breathing at proper intervals, until they, they have the gall to, right before me, to stand up and sigh, it's the sigh bothers me most, not my swallow the seawater sigh but the grin at a corner of the ceiling sigh, like they're announcing the ten hours more of life they have earned I have frittered, but what do they do in there besides more work, perhaps infinitely recess to some holy center where at last they might ash out incense to the god of a dying creation, martyrs of mortaling, and they're the ones who know, who could be a better reality to you, while I am stuck inside this blankness, and that's why I, you will only find that blankness, that needing, that's what I fear, is that you will give so much only to discover how much more you have to give into a blankness that will never, never..." "You are. You are right here." "You are, you're the one who makes me here." "Then let's be here."

She slipped through me a smile like the tongue along gums, more to me than what we said was this us saying hinting, nothing, I dreamed, nothing but, all the uncertainties sizzle in a rush of blushes. Magenta belief shimmers prayer [[furngrace->mfurngrace]]. Yielding out unto opens the world to the soul's paints, doused in needs tottering over the tensed [[internality->minternality]] blended by your aesthetic aperapture, no world but the one our living weaves, brim slosh colors her eyelids' gentle blinks' allure over all my shortcomings stacked into a goliath I climb under sunset semitones she maintains over my tremulous timbre, nervously palpitating but poised like a statuette as incense incenses, truth pressed to manifest, wreck my voyaging on your violet corals, lean into a moment, I can't, this cannot, I knew before, she knows before, it happens, in a gazeshift which makes me made in her I to my source cascade to a kiss. I have no knees and neither does she and iwe give the glory of immaculately artifice truth in and against and despite and with and as and in the thousand little deaths like grooves to rest in we are made believers by the. Slush eternal beneath our cage clutching on the earth. [[Apparitions->mapparitions]] gloom the plum roll. Our boat our whispers beneath two pressing silences. Vapory chills. Glowmoon as a wizened watching, sufferings long now beyond tell scarlets in a mar mosaic. Dissipating with everything once entrusted. The time is coming when. Mute colossus jet lustrous charging its doom intone. Cessation starts. Skins slick with that oil. In my chest hollow [[rebounds->mrebounds]] memories soon to be entombed, vigil ongoing, who is no longer in their time.

Who shall say what makes a day bright, blush burn and melted cloud cream or the energy of a suddenly blissfully started over out into the infinitely open? Empty fury of ergs or an ocean winking with how much it could chill you is the sky constructed by the ground to which we attach it, frozen emperor eye judging its howlblasted subjects for each shiver waylaying their sole snow tracks, not all harshness summons a brightness; the first spring blaze, solar return to a burgeoning earth, earns its sign as contrast and pales before the summer ensuing; and what do we say of summer but that a drone drawls passion, is there not in my inner heat a recognition of outer light which makes my expression kin with the superluminal lonespances, is not sunspeech an earthwalker's birthlight, am I not arbiter and [[audience->mreinforced]] of suns, who shall say anything of the sky but that we chance to see it, that we find in an open limit cascading outer powers our canopy, and I shall, struggle yes, fall short yes, but when I radiate my intensity pure and burning it shall be I who says what makes my day bright, my turning to her smile our own bright star.

Cell. In it you are. An outside not lost but [[reinforced->mreinforced]] in darts across the vision, clouds across the mind, skips in the beating. Outside in, the inside out, outstretched interlaced isolation and phantoms cataracting as walls are made to be, walls we into, what goes on inside is what has gone on to the inside, wrapped around each pause in the stillness we rustle; blossoms, breeze. Pink petals cherry lace on woven wind. Washing cold, lengthened blinks. When books nestle in your jaw. Bloodshot serenity surface to murmur mirage vanishing worry. Here do the dead echo louder than living noise. Things twist, then tighten, then stay that way forever. I am going, and I will not move.

Bat away the daylight's nagging, but my bare legs under the cloth covers chafed with the lost entwine. Myneme toned from the darkness like eyeshadow from skin. Hers is half wiped smeared. Her lips teased to the left from habit. [[Wordlessly->mreinforced]] she sat. I slumped under her gravity. Time becalmed. Like we were still dreaming, like the morning was contiguous with yesterday's mind, we waited in little actions. For the fifth time I forced my shoulders to relax. A blink lasts so long. What other sensations should we share than the taste of tea?

No endpoint in a studied endlessness. Nonpoint to search for, home. Sheets [[suppress->mreinforced]] suprasensation lilts, warped voices which seem to call both here and infinitely before, half formed and deforming, that do not say some thing, but in all their angularity interpreted they suggest, seem to. If only you. The pages which turn. Dreams float on as their dreamers sleep, and the new nonwakers sift through phantasmal rubbles wondering with what dream to dream. Dust to dust monoliths surreal on ocher smoke as forgotten ages so. What do we construe in ourselves in the alone unclothed. State your exist. Antsy to stand but demands lotus. Rooms will enter your throat when they own you. I am in.

Knelt before the abbess arched my spine towards the so many impossibles that soak us human and [[hopeless->mhopeless]]. She set the spindle of the Koani in its stand and spun it, stares over the spin, the spin, the, stopped it, gently pushed open the page. "...delve twice ungoes thrust, loss, never might the mend unsolve, rush loss solve twain the two that goes, we lose so much in all that goes, twice lost the two in one gone..." Sunken heart stops my tongue. I looked up weeping silent. She knew. She chose this one. She chose for this to happen. There is nothing that I can make happen else than this, this is what I had always known would... "No exegesis, Nyneme? You have been such a good sister for so long. What changed, I wonder? Do you know your acolyte has also been inquired, and she failed to answer all three? Deliberate silence, I wondered, I wonder now. You offer no answer?" I shook my head. She nodded her head like shaking her head. "I trusted you, you know. They said you were ready for a pilgrimage, and I nearly believed them, thus I gave you an acolyte. To have failed so unthinkably… not even to offer a single answer, when the purpose of the text is so clear… what am I to do with you, I wonder? I wonder, are you now truly ready for a pilgrimage?" In my head my head shot up to stare match, but I had not the desire to see her face, to see anything other than these cool tiles... "The Glowmoon is [[going->mgoing]]. We ought to send a pilgrim to the Veda dyi Ayeri, should we not? Such is the custom at the new moon. It will be hard, of course, for your acolyte to have to accustom herself to a new initiator, but hardly could she suffer a worse performance than the vice and ignorance to which you have led her. I have for you here the letter, drafted already, yes, I had an inkling we might need it. This letter will introduce you to the Veda dyi Ayeri, they will rehabilitate you. There is not much left in the Glowmoon, so you must hurry. I have sent a sister to conscript your passage, she already has supplies for you cached near the Docks, so you can go immediately." "But I, you can't, not –" "Hold your tongue! Have you no shame? This pilgrimage is an honor of which you are unworthy. You will accept it with the silent grace of the unworthy."

Allusive subtleties necklaced the emollient malaise speckling quellspace cathexis, pause hollows snatching anguish into the insolently darkly leering tension somewhere in this flushed pumping, simulacra nonemotives sentry the lack where always the doubt sinks in, see yourself as at are you stared. Foamburst over the ship, terrified, soaked. You have fallen. You are not who you think you are. Watery crest of the inbound storm erases your life as it struggles. Seared insensible [[lurching->mlurching]] disorientation nocturnes my vaulted: desyllogize your demise in the Glowmoon going. In the Glowmoon going can this all be lost. Into all of this sent to die, where are you, Nyneme? In all of this sent to... in the going of the... but, but Myneme, how can I leave her here, when she means everything that I, in my [[tomb->mtomb2]], will not? Who is it I shall introduce to the Veda dyi Ayeri? Crumbling into order. Ordered. We fulfill our most fundamental expectations only when withered free of a face. Renounce the structure. Prevent this playing plaything. Elusive. Die in me a [[structure->mstructure]]. Premonition of so many sleeplesses dreaming of how I have failed her into our exilic denuded perverse unity at lasts… "...collision souls, surpass intensities, your altar beyond the limits of your worship, pray at the precipice of cannot can be candelabra dream oracular intensity haze, glow ascendancy..."

Stained sapphiric the slung sun slits the [[yolk->myolk]] ocher to ooze dim burgundy in our skull cathedrals as we interpreted signs through the icon glass. Prophets of the wane we foretold into each other's all encompassed as the Glowmoon goned. Dead star nurtured trawling the catacomb cryptic guided by torchunite we traced the deepened darkened descintillaed in asynchronous breaths lengthened patient. Limitloose we learned the not to say in our cavern wordless; dewy serenity scene to your sole observing, in motion in isolation from the flits of a million too small to see and the epochs of a hundred too large to feel, pops of decided sound annunciate you to the gentle glows, your walk a wind in the wilderness. We turned the spokes to impale us upon eternally virgin verses tremble memorized in the eclipse's ecstatic belief terror as wrongwhisper [[funereal->mfunereal]] unreal unreckoned in our reckless selene release sighs to a shrunken skylight lightheaded genuinely possibility gracious so [[possessed->mpossessed]] in the shift's destruction we allow for anything that we could assemble from the desecration of this overburdened piety as demons forth from the wound where the moon renewed the nonconcept cursed our patterns warped where in the burning, not in this chaos composed, futures in and out blinking rapidly like an epileptic seizing, nevermore the need we need, read we it in the bloodwrit, shared in a vein we gushed out to the air and hung for a moment for a forever before falling into the next now's pain and reeling. With the Glowmoon disappeared into the undercoursing. "...regret all the verified to focus focals to revented to verity unmaking mattrless revisional dispersion rescattering the semblance to go, to glow, to coversion dispermanence..."

"My memories all seem dreams, fossil feelings," whispered the specter. "Dried blood I, black sand stretching lonely to a horizon too low in me chillcroons cruel for having persisted past truth into this forever awaiting nothing. I am waiting for someone who is gone, because I do not have the strength to follow. Speak ash, think dust, do not act, I list to days I could not wish of me: shun its vigors, dwell in desiccation. I am empty, but my emptiness prevents my dissipation. I am a void too austere to meld into the wider hollow." Inklings dry on a wet page. Swimmer through me with rhythmic wakes washing the wider [[motion->mstart5]] with wintry spray. Face to face with the faceless faceless. Inside me the also, in our bones our bond. Outspeaker summoned on which pillar nerve? Precious close our depths flowed current. Connected tissue continued our rebel souls' gelbell jinn swells molding our unfolding indwelling unquelled to constant hum questions spun to spiral shimmers seen venetian as vivid static electrics of the no longer vibrant burning yearning to cast cold the cancer a candelabra lit ghostly in icespark glitterdarks fuming funereal for this nightnever.

Kneeling in an alley gasping lastlies as thus spoke the specter: "Worn by the wasting to a harsher wasted, the endless yearns unspooled me. Need neon to guide my entranced, into her I intensified a dying; outside of her, the dying is numbed narrow. We became our erasure entirely, but somehow flawed by intention I outlive the act, the event's structure composes my spectrality, where is the less and less of my more effected emerges, disintegrate to an empty infinite, but more and more I dream, and in my dreams of her I convulse with involuntary kicks of pulse, carry on our dead banner, relish in how it flutters atop my wreckage. What I throw away in the moment I pretend we are still building is more precious than any shard beauty I mosaic from this incompletely complete annihilation. Beyond what we, none, and in the void I unculled quiver. Where is she for whom all of it is not? Did I shed Myneme to sustain this undead? I do not know, or more that knowing no more compiles for me, logic tapers to tottering ghouls the muck goops into its own. What is to be said? One would have to be one to express a thought. "You, have you wandered to this forgotten forbidden bidden by for what you have begotten your for, some unknown seals us in echoing stress: curl close through the long depress. Acid memories in the dark necessity, no more have I but this need as the same you feel. We are casts of better illusions. In us now is the gap that terrordrains us with inclinations of what should have and maybe might have at least in dreams dwelt there, ghosts appearing before the haunted. Every night worse, this wilting. Undone in a thousand lost utterances. Unhinged the world's borders so have I slipped through to this unanswerable posed guttural to each glacial pulse. Fragments of once fulfilled impale my [[ongoing->mstart5]] to bleedslick my deathdrag. Trust the ties tugged entrails entwine. Do you, and what do you trust? Why have you crawled here, what still pulses you to elsewhere crawl?"

Grown out of our skulls a bone blossom our mutuality picked, ash beautiful. What is this we made of this what is this? Insistent precious we pulled to a pressure unpurified. Bornborne beast ligaments twisted knotting to a growl, prowling back and forth before a pounce on what the need nurtured between the blood sucked from memory gore. Grown into without escape, enact. Dulled razors we abraded an echo violence touch. Crash once more to mortal moreness awareness and cry out the enunciating gulf. Why wait for the inexorable? Gestated malfunctions cogging to a reaction but stalling, [[diverting->mstart5]] through flaws the fatal energy, shark in a net thrashing, thrashing, and slowly, just... no moment when, and for a moment you can believe in a descending forever, but infinity snaps under sudden actuality, and all the rage of beauty dies to the slightest of sighs. We let ourselves believe letting go is a kind of going on, but misty lurks the stop, until it shines and shines and blinds. Relent is a process that becomes a word. Expiration drags years behind the veil exhalation.

Out of me spoke the specter whose voice thrilled, quivered. "Volcanic you burst from this entombed, yet shall you find the air as cavernous. In stillness and motion both lords [[inertia->mstart5]]. I am the ask you harbor. Hold close this scream to encase in a psalm. Take me in, with you, wherever you go is my own forever, move us in your making, jostle me free of this eternity. Reshunt the shelter shamelessly skynude and trust the gales to promise your possible. Impressed upon this structural stress ruin, in rubble are you written. Let razescapes smolder witness. Bless ourselves into some mutual hurry to a sunrise suggestion as sailors of a someday soon, in your voyage let us verb. In me you as never in yourself, yes, in you I know you, there was, yes, space for me already, ah, how similarly we went searching, but yours more messy, is more chaotic to become, your searching into the deathifying, the carnage of not quite right, yes, and now you are condemned, neither of us ought to live, we stray stay spectaters of projected indirecteds gladiators slowly thrashing in oblivion jaws. No, don't ask, ah, it invigorates to anticipate your questions, but no, they will not notice me here, they have never noticed you more than where you appear, I will taunt them with it, let us relish in it, small unrecked revenges. Seek sanctity in how you eldritch incomprehensible to their narrownaughts. Annihilate the abjectified in disnominality incantation's retrocleansing wave, in the erasure return. "Which ghost try looses us to the lunge views? Elsewhere entrances, seance border between this and wish. In all this youth death has truth accumulated nowhere mutters, bulb pupil bulging from cataract rims leers the faint false. Exanimation of harrow sinks to sorrow. Hopetattered I tremble a cherished closed, needle tongue sewing the mouth jagged, in the guise is a rinse of ritual power: cleansed of constricts, out of the phantasmic miasma lopes jackals houndhowling, long looptongues lagging on the nightblack grass, to bay reply to my shriller and shriller by the second whistling as towards you I point, my eyes equal crescent moons. Ghoulish vengeance upon the brittly bordered by constricting further: a prison shall you, then a prison shall you. Desecrate destination, staggerdodge the graves, warden of the fatal flaws. Set into the problem render the problem a set and ply upon the cornered a mirror curse to redouble dying to damnation as a redress redress. Never free the architects in how the buildings loom their shapes, so lash them to the facades as the skies fever drudge brackish, foam, and opal. Clung to the palisades the priests complicit, guards of the gods for whom they fence in and fence out, rampage their delineations a separation scripture, crumble worship for the wreckage gods and drink the corpsefluids like milk, misty eyes a honey. Ringlet trenches around the burning defended runny with soiled blood. Bury us all in the warpath. How else will we return the undercurrent? Your ceiling opens its eye and cracks fracture the slightest grin. As you drift asleep your bed starts to hug too tightly. Shapes scurry between the blinds. Your doorknob moans as you twist it and, rather than open, more doorknobs emerge. Your saliva trickles through your jaw like sweat. Your eyeballs elongate out of your sockets and start to droop and your vision swings the hang. Awaken and all your limbs are attached differently. Your sense of touch trebles to tingly excesses. Your teeth sharpen and grow, grow, puncture through your palate, impale your brain, but you still think, but some thoughts or movements strike you against the bladed obstruction and your consciousness ignites. When you speak, you hear someone else. When you look, you see someone else. You feel as someone else. We are right to hate, right to want, right to tremble murderously, aren't we, or what is right, where do we find its ichorous idols? When all is violence, you as a thing stuck together is a violation, and the disorder struggles justice asunder streaking brief color against the absorption white. Composed of chaos as a paradox engine of the order of disorder, creative destructions we course whence?"

Numbdrunk in neverdreams splashed aware of the decayed. Drudged up empty then seared into a sudden shared [[vertigo->mstart5]] reeling. What should I, we, and isn't that? Plopped in sloppy rows the broken before you to let overlordly observe you blessed formative, feast upon misbuilts, leave no failed flesh untongued. Rubblemossed hoperaiser the solitary sylvaneph in the widening wrack chittering the wind with spring, somehow someone despite the depressed lungs failing to fill this. Late summer swells the last driplets of fiery green as we lie on the bank unburdened: can we with the stream rush free of the source? So spoke the specter. "In another Tower might you find a vestige reality that will at last testify that my soul outbounded of this gyre energy you hence our reanima. Let us scrap corpse course unto rust colossus, watch the watercolor of our setting settle. Want the wind in my hair in lieu of possibilities, to shift, change, decide, belong, move, shifts us, changes us, decides us, locates us in an innate motion inescapable. Composed of cavities, we echo presence our insufficiency unto void. Totalized of sunya, inscriptionists of empty energies coalescing unto the named experience, we are all we are not only as damnation, in matter as maya inselfless eruptive disjolters lessecrating the curio our curtaincy between acts, mina spurrity lithifying the flushing disentire to constructive inhaibitors, traders of signs we sever from the unrepresentable pulsars of potent I all. Creators killed unto capture, graveworld binders. We are the written of smotes of sparks in the endless darkness dreams. Lysis theophanicysms killtraced to pulse exile. Templars of a yet built preordained lashing unions of wrack parallelisms of psalms plaintive and penitent." Sticky my fingers stretched from the knuckles and drooped to the floor where they stalagmited to urge the whole cavernous empty to lift this built to break backsnapped and serpentous to whatever glittergilded gods might passively watch so my tuned tongue might loose an out of key outcry, and as I slip back to collapse might the whole edifice do so also in defiance. Definitions destroy thrust we dance the antidazzled tenuous and blanched. The need and the failure, the waiting but the coming undone, sleep robs you of the rest, and gladly, gladly would I trade it, were it mine, were it right, though often that injunction stalls too meekly the slipping away… Gutting consumption caves into my soles so I can swallow up any dreamshards laying desolate at my feet, I will walk atop ruins and drink. In the air my tongues catch all the thrown to the depths hearts. Reckoning ourselves as genuine while we minnow about the maybes. Detritus hulk limping across the torn terrain with a hole hulched worsened to wordsmith the brittle mettle to bear meaning, where, not here, not us, but this, butterfly wist. Dead pasts haunting graven perspectives, snakescarved while the black breeze whips the whisper hushed. More collapsed than chance supports. Modal miseries to tune humanity's harmonies. Gloweyed in the sweltered darker than the night as a figurine I inched without motion to the icicle incalculable.

Enervated into a volt the specter in my spine: "Gods drag us. Say a cur lurks in a hospice. You are wounded and cannot move, but you are positioned in a rafter overtop a door you can reach down and swing. The cur enters the room near a young child. Behind the door beneath you blurble three elderly. If you swing open the door, then the cur would feast on one or two or all three of these condemned, leaving the child alone. "What is the just course of action? If you do not open the door, then a young child that could live many years yet will die. Is that right? If you open the door, then you spare the child, but you condemn more lives to this danger, even if combined they probably have less possible years than the child. Is that right? Does a greater total of lost years matter, or does a greater number of people experiencing those years matter? Does the quality of the years matter, with the child's adolescence and adulthood still ahead of it, whereas the elders dimly look towards waning senescence? Is it a matter of distribution: is it unfair to the child not to have lived, but the elders have had their chance, and should now accept the loss of whatever is left? Or rather perhaps the elders have lived long enough to love their lives, but the child is still too young yet to lose as much by death? Indeed, in the memories of the elders lie two hundred years of humanity to reminisce and relive to story, but the child is of no account. Who are you to judge which is greater, you who can neither remember these elder's lives nor project this child's possible? Perhaps it is best for the child to die now, so it might not need suffer the lives you all have been cursed to endure for decades. But the cur is beyond your control, if you open the door, is it just if only one elderly person dies, or it is less just but still acceptable if a second dies, but then is it unjust if a third dies? What if you open the door, but the cur takes the child anyway, are you morally guilty for having opened the door, even if nothing came of it? But also you are in a hospice, so if you open the door, but the child dies of sickness the next day, then are you guilty? How long must the child live for the sacrifice of the elders to be just? Likewise, if you do not open the door, but none of the elders live longer than another week, then have you been unjust? Or is it the sheer expectation that makes the action just in the moment, and nothing that actually happens has any moral bearing on whether a decision was evil or not? Should you do nothing, letting the world do as it will? If you renounce action, are you guilty, and as guilty, as the person who chooses not to open the door? Do you rebel against the problem, overcome your broken bones, throw yourself from the rafters, fight the cur in fatal heroics poised perfectly to elicit a loving tear? Perhaps indeed you snicker at the bitter nonsense of the world and throw yourself from the rafters and simply snap your neck, die next to the child like poetry. Perhaps in the exact instant before the crash you can whisper to the child the name of a god to let them know who has consecrated existential majesty. "The beauty of a moral problem lies in the lies of justice you can pretend correct the unjust world. You are unjust just for glimpsing the injustice. By being in the rafters, no matter what you do or do not do, you are involved in the problem, you are unjust. There is no right answer, there is only your right to answer and live terrified of its poltergeists. You can decide which injustice is less guilt to add to your name, but there is no pure justice available to you who share a guiltlink with the cur and its hunger and our withering: you are guilty by virtue of existence. In being you kill all other beings; life dances you atop death. We breathe and feed on sin, sin bleeds us realized, your choice is which sins to consume, which evils will ash you. "Is not the truest nobility to watch the cur feast upon the child, then to throw open the door to let it feed upon the rest? Is sublime honesty not precisely assigning yourself to both outcomes? Are we not failures exact in the door, both our passivity and our agency the same lye swallowed? Is it not the very soul of ourselves, that we lord above in the rafters, deciding who will die? "Everything we are is a part of what we are a part of. We are dissonances living out our notes as a harmony. We choose which guilts weigh us guilty. In a moral problem, the choices are stark, the stakes are heavy, the consequences dire and immediate and endless, but life is morally problematic, the things about you, even when you are unaware of them, whisper choices you may unknowingly acquiesce, you are immorally always. Every wrong that happens while you are alive is constituent in what is wrong with you. Those who lived on the land in empires of the sun and moon mixed will never be cleansed so long as these Towers cease these seas' peace. Jagged ruptures of oblivion blessing, we [[blur->mstart5]] into our own voids. I was as guilty of my own time as you are this very second, our wrong answers echo our uneradicated. Each moment cursed enough to contain you should terrify with some hint of the wider horror you exude and exact. We are the damned wake of gods."

Regrets retravel along my spine each travail to unbow the unbroken as if not ludicrous, as if not a farce attempting the [[stolid->mstarving]] serious, but they can sense the [[steeped->mphysicalize]] and sieved, they sip my [[insenseable->mfragments]], I in their mouths a steam never of the actual to repay, retrain the horizon to set upon my own quivering begging to break, to accept ossitility as overwrite sanctification stele ton borne, beatify brutally to erase me finally in their hatreds husk, so none of this might [[amount->mlanguid]], since neither they nor I would find joy in my self unsmothered, I just want to die into a dignity qua erasure. They spite me so specified a person who cannot immix, a creature cursed humanistically [[distinct->mjaufrei]], but I will spite them the rockface, or I wish I could, all my sanctifiability therein relies, but daemonic I pulse a hubris to persist, insist on alterity not merely quelled.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter V''] --- Flung across a marathon without moving, fractured body sensual [[doubles->mdoubles]] askance rinkling in a lag. Simplex blare eradicating the duality, death to embodying the aftermath, like a current directed to deluge this drainhull eraserstance ripple I as ancient paintings [[dissolve->mdissolve]] to the action they amber to attempt to mirror my vicious undoing which undulates borders to rift ambiguity to allow mediate seiches to chaos this bipartite [[illusionorder->millusionorder]], absolute all of the absolute spilling into this particular manipulator, fulcrum necessity posthumous excess symbolicizing the shifted whole superlative to fractured grasping, overexertion [[overstretching->moverstretching]] my bounds while a [[doppelganger->mdoppelganger]] stays ice still, critique of the shadows which never have to have more form than shape, for who shall better imitate truth for you who are native to anywhere too tomblike to repress your nerves than this emaciating masked, sans in the binary, relent, release, return. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

"Have you always gone on so selfish, Leiru?" Avacz shoved me against the wall. "You dragged way over your five ah! We cut Mylecz on your account. Negative, yah? You and Reikka, you're so desperate to [[broadcast->msunrays]] your silhouettes you'll even moth on sputters. Can you really now be so empty hor? Is it because you're shy or something? This your great attempt to express every opinion you're too cowardly to express on your own terms? When we're all sitting in the warmth of this showroom where of course no one's quite looking you in the eye, you've got us captive, right, finally everything really is oriented by looking at you; I mean, your perfect world would just be a mirror, wouldn't it? Your beauty's better than Mylecz's beauty? Must so your stealing his slot. Why should he speak hey? Would only be eclipsed by the universal truths you're to espouse all over us. If we just listened to you, why, we'd never need for another voice again. "Don't even care this gig lor, that's the tragic part, the really funny part is no one does, no one's listening. You're scrabbling so intent holding hostages not there to be taken, showroom's akin the brothel, show up to be alone. Whatever nonsense Mylecz's dripped from his gums about dressers or whatever isn't important, he'll read it some other time to the not listening to be forgotten as quickly as today's soul's bare, which is to say, it'll never even be remembered, but this mindset you're running in what's bothers me, the sheer daft selfishness of it. Should never blather a poem over five, there's never the point of it, not the poem but the slot what matters, the chance to be heard. If you're gunning over five, just cut it yeah, you've not the art to lose. Guarantee you, hell I'll bet you, you and Jaufrei love bets aye, I'll bet you, oh, ten coins we'll bid, twenty, rob my entire keep why don't you, it's not much assure, but I'll bet it up that no one, and I really mean it, no one, not one person, will notice. Stop midsentence if you need to, make it obvious, scream the last word, pause dramatically! If they're even cognizant, if they even recognize that you started and that now you're finished, they'll slugbrain assent it some artistic choice or the like laugh. You'll probably get compliments for shutting the hell up. I'm always on to you about it, Leiru, the shortest acts are the strongest: the less you try to convey, the more likely you'll communicate. Why froth incomprehensibles to the void when you can whimper your say in the hope someone overhears? All they want is to hear some other noise than their brains, they caren't the weft. "But let's set it: you over once more, even by a minute, already to the third yeah kyauska, I will, and I mean this, I'll personally ensure you never curse us your presence a tick more. If you cannot ken the line, then you need not be here. People come here to blast drunk off their own pents, we're using each other here, this is all one attempt to get exactly yourself again and again. We provide, for such a nominal fee, the semblance of listening. I make piss profit, could drink every night somehow else, but I do this because I care, Leiru, something you ought to look into, because I know how absolute garbage our lot is, how desperate we wish to prove ourselves alterior to it, creative out of the destructive, the waste of it all, and most importantly I recognize that creative ambitions are precious precisely because they're worthless, because they're us. The only valuable creative act is what you're willing to throw away, because that's the authentic core. We level aye? Give Mylecz the chance to chandelier his mind for our dim, has as much right as you, more maybe since he's short a cutesy little Jaufrei to cuddle up with at night to make all the nightmares go away. That kid's just as deep as you are, just as introspective, his internal world's the same phantasmal desert yours is. Outside yourself for once you'll discover a universe."

Fomented dullness riddles sights sleights, blur havens crushingly hollow in which we shudder with white pixie sighs. Stutterstep cyclone grief muezzins the bending drive to be unified in an [[annunciation->msunrays]] of what? The outpouring beyond imbuing the chastified selfreduction with the redemptive zero level through orphic incantations of progression deeper into an internalization of a placement which might as well be a series of surfaces splayed atop nothing, which is where all our ghosts leave us: the place where and reason why they first disappeared. The mirror is only tragic because you are forced to admit that you are abandoned in self married unhappily to itself. Aren't we all dressed up before the mirror not to be naked before it? And don't we sometimes get naked before it? And doesn't that force us to dress? Dragged from yesternight's splotch mucusswollen clumped this nethered along a rigidity ruthlessly sober for one foregone. Going outside looking like you chooses your most honest and not your best face. Saying, this is where I am, with all its flaws. Everything I wish I could change I will wear. Not display, not to say to everyone else, glare, but simply to be there. They do not know how horrible is recognition of your ricochet. I hate the heat of a glance. Walking in the open streets with so many directions you can't defend against: you have to relinquish your brittle spirit to the breeze's sway. People who's problems lie concealed cannot understand nakedness.

Lapse of shapes shunts the shelter to combinants welter the inknotability dire, so sutured my dazed in the blank but of timewhispers [[sunrays->msunrays]], knot tomorrows dappling these shadows incomplete. Fugue aches reappearing in sequence in severity lashed my sight sideways heavy, drippy, drooling, eyelid blackness scarring roots into to overgrow the gnarling aware bareness, stripped of interpolations, normalized polarizer, sift cupola of the sacred into space, gods prism rain over the pleading innate recalling, scalding sweat blazemists my visibles, choking, thrashing... "Leiru oi, alright ah?" Mylecz. "What happened?" I swallowed down the migraine. "Nothing's happened. Here, let me help you up. You sure you fine then? You look terrible." "Thanks," I clasped his arm. "You for the voyage?" "Like I'll miss a chance to slip this prison hey. Too many days inside will kill." Jaufr stretched under the streetlamp. Hidden in his semblance of languid pleasure was a certainty best exuded in dark halls rattling with a dusted wind... "Ah geskecz, crime owned," Mylecz strained. "I forgot, the uh, Kaiya told me, you know. I know how close you two were. Didn't mean to bring it up or." "It's fine," I grit my teeth. "It doesn't.., I don't…" "Listen, Leiska's a kyauska, we're all in with you, even those that hated Jaufrei. Leiska's been tripping on his own size since he's gotten Myemi side, thinks he can do anything now. Well I mean sure, but he shouldn't be able to hor? But I don't mean to lecture politics, know that sets you off." "I don't um, or um, uh…"

"[[Sailors->msailors2]]!" Captain Myeri stood in the dawn dribbling orange on his saberhilt. He flashed a grin that would have been aloof had it not been directly at us aimed. He flung his hands from over his heart to dais two shadows translating to our coarse light. I leaned a little on Mylecz to rise high enough to catch the referents, two rustles a blare, the first tall, brawny, tawny, immediately imperial, the second's complexion a warm emergence. Eyes sewn remote, velvety, Veda. Kasayas swaying along a high mannerism, the sheer amount of axes required for their movements, what little of themselves translated outwards spoke more than what we were hearing. Between them one ebony wash honoring an inviolate bond equal to the now and nonrenewable nestled in the wider color like gold leaf on tan vellum. Epochal glyphs repainting themselves to illustrate Myeri's voice which hung upon us printed: "Resume ourselves in the resounding [[ultimatum->multimatum]] our strides percuss on the bending worldspine unfurling to a banner we wave triumphant. We are no more than where we refuse to be lessened from, and therein state your strongest manifests are where you stake your image's lucidity: from form to formulation, stop not to live but force the world to its spinning ceased beneath your transit magnetism. Standing here as sailors awaits us also history's immeasurables, forebears skies in which our hearts bioluminesce these stories we struggle alive! "Greater forces shift this new paradigming. Together raise the flag of two namednesses immortal who tense for your praise to rejoin their entrance into our hearts' spears: this, Berakh; this, Meluoi. Bend to their sound, their name on our tongues is a hymn. Reignited by their spark continuity charging our ancestral legacy's originality storm rendering us warriors in a cause waged against rebus seas rise up to them in your rowing, in the turn of the sails settle their testament more intensely real than any tempest ruinous, temple this brilliance whitehot which looms over us our sweat's cause, branded upon your statue souls their unseen in this bronzeless era. In these mythics verse us also along these leylines. "Some of you, alas, hold superstitions about Veda, weak mutterings of the unreckoning, but toss aside youth's ignorance and attend to their superlativizing will, transformed in their nature to the undergrowth excellence from which those animal fears leap to congregate our [[perditions->mperditions]] as children of gods, soldiers of the heaven that exalts us all: lend them your utmost devotion, spare not an ounce of your adoration, but nurture the cure, praise those who break our bones into bread, these masters of our making are the finalizing return, from our sunscorched shall they seed sacrifice so may be redeemed our people at last eternal in our hour, told in a feat, we can melt this airless whorl into a mosaic world if only we glimmer pieced in their design! Sailors, bear up! Reap the dawn!"

"There can be no more waiting for time to allow us to actualize. How often have we waited, only to discover the waiting is it, is all it is? Never again neverness! We pry apart the binds, seep through the seconds, effect the truth thereby vaulted this hiddenness we yearn in sleepless shiveries. This is who allows us to bloom, these Veda, thay ask of us to accentuate to match their mythicity. Historical we, what rejoinder is written? We must slough the sayless to utter that by which we will be named: [[voyagers->mvoyage]]! "What say you, my highborn Veda? As history peeks through to find us here lined on the Docks ready to embark, shall it shiver knowing definitions approach? Let us rise to meet it. Let us sail into ourselves unmediated! Enough of this shaking in the passing. The wasted hours of our lives shall forever cease in this [[voyage->mvoyage]] as production hums again in our chests, our hands, the calloused fingers sharpening their edges, giant awakening to its sleepless deathless girth. The sea tosses its foam hair and from its azure throat sings our welcome, a return as joyous as it is momentous, for mankind shall remember this day its champions conquered our final fear and set sail for the last monster still dwelling impertinent of our denatured, yes, I can feel it in my veins, it slings, it races an hour to remember, so remember it well brothers and sisters, trawl the heat of your muscles moving in your memory's [[capture->mstart6]], remember the day when Captain Damano Myeri and a daring crew sailed with the Veda to write their names on the ledgers of legacy! Off, let us cast off, on, let us get on the ship, quick, there is not a second to lose, we must hurry! We must rush to the Sunken Tower, we must do so at record speeds! Remember this day, Ayeri's Tower, for it is the day you were redeemed!"

"Hark to me, brothers and sisters, sailors all! Time has allowed us this precious rupture upon which our [[voyages->mvoyage]] can be diverged into arcs which skypaint new promises! Let us not waste this opportunity, up, up, let's move, waste not the hour, rise to drink the day!" Activity blurred the definite lines, the planks withdrew, lines untied, sails unfurled, a wind was caught, oars a welter out into the accepting waking, and in a blaze manmade we cast off not for the Sunken Tower, for any name or place, but for redemption clear and free. The berth shrunk. Thistle horizon we flurried toward inscribed in Ayeri's arching mouth blitzed through the real, the strain, the ache that makes us so purely alive streaming us away from Ayeri's, away from the unbreathable kiln smoke coughed from lung to lung unrefreshed, from memory's burden, from the stained waning daily decrepiting the ash remaining, onward to something new yet unfounded, a hope, a future not of this but from this, chance to bend these brokens newly. Squinting to peek meekly out from our caves, tremulous, tenuous, up in the ocean's spray, lurched by the plunge, we hung our heads out in the rawness of the wind as sunshine slaked our cold with warm damp skin at long last. Vanilla soft swaths spread on a blood orange whose hidden stars shimmered mutely behind filmy lines inklings of the swollen sun, cottony cuts on the smoldering cinders, arrows to the unseeable, to land as far as you could see, grass so green it gilds, rolling hills and yawning vales, the thrill of the waiting moment intoxicating, the taste of a bendable second. I turned back to the balking crags, combined altar to the lost and the victorious unchanged dimming in the moment marriage calmed. Scorpion tensed to sting saw I Jaufr, Marko, my mother, father, equals in the forgetless murmur, exile. Let my tears alone echo there. Whatever cup contained this pain spilled out to the sea to find its meaning in going outside. As my body melted in this delirious [[surge->mstart6]] my spirit unsheathed caught the wind in pinions, in sails as we sailed away.

Mist mornings billowing through the thunderous dawn, the Veda faintly bowing. A strange echo of actual awe as Myeri knelt before them. Faces espoused disbelief varieties, but his rich coating timbre retained precedent. "My most noble kin of the heroes, allow me to admit these sailors before you." He returned to us in an encompassing wave. "They are the brave to ferry you unto bravery's bleakest altar, the scowling carapace of a malleable eternity long since disused, the imprint of centuries ago still unjoined to this dying to recall in our echoes our undying, the Sunken Tower! Let them be named so their spirits may effervesce before your leviathan purpose gliding in bass through immensity. "Where shall all sailors go, first shall the captain venture to lead. I remain before you Captain Damano Myeri of the Myeri line, a man yet flesh, legend unfinished, a sailor king whose scepter still yet divides these waves upon whose violent truth lies my lineage. I shall lift you to the temple of our purpose. I privileged by time will mumble the theme that presses from your tongue, a wright captured in your timeless now to endure forever. You shall see, honored witnesses of our yet unpassing, why this name is hallowed in hearts salted by the harsh sea, foremost of all who seek in the shivering now the quaking hereafter, knowledge kings whose tensing deeds attest to time's unbreakable geist this name stands authentic unto the act of a world defined! "Before you are those who my spirit yearnings collate into a single dew. Behold them, mighty Veda, and witness our choir for our answer to the horizon's challenge! "Renowned Aci Leiska at their head waits before you my lieutenant, keen keeper of all that does not buckle, mettle rejoinder against the decay. Mark him, you templars of the ageless, find him fit for our service. "A worthy son stands next our ensign, Pyevi Olyasz, my own nephew, my greatest cousin, a true brother. He shall not fail you as truly as I shall serve you. On my dearest sister's name will he pledge his honor which you will rhapsodize in our greater mutual elevation. "Next is our pilot and mechanic, Jenyelle Asaveno, a man who yet still holds my father's frame in this eye that now captures us. Many times has he run this circuit, and now like a sculptor surpassing clays let him marblize our actions. "This is our naturalist and historian, Reikka Kaemi. Bandied on the tongues of her admirers as a first amongst peers, hallowed for the fierceness of her wit and her insight's piercing, she shall charm you with not just what she recalls but what to which she in her still going bears [[witness->mstart6]]. "No band is a match to such a cause without a striking might, and thrice times have we succeeded this capacity in each of our four gunsmen: Gyadalta Agure, their chief, whose ever swift hands have been irreparably stained by countless abominations slain; Pyeisa Naczamuru, a man who has seen the extremity of death and decried it; Mazyu Hezicressa, sturdy, steady, and brave to the end; and Avacz Amane, whose soft and cheritable heart steels in the face of impending danger. "Though surely the storms shall try to sink what sunders it, our four proud ropers will glide us on our rose way: our foreman bright and brave, Emnin uh, uhm, nah, Emnin ah, nina, nino, ahh uh, Emnino, Emnino Leiru, yes, and as his aerials: Kaiya Omaczianna, dancer on gales; Mariena Hezicressa, whose grip shall tender us safely unto every wish we conjure; and Imeni Loya, whose calm no chaos can sunder; each more worthy than the last even as they cycle again. "And thrusting us through at breakneck speeds, flying us to our destination with dizzying pace, our ten hardworking and unbreakably cheerful rowers: Volya and Vasya Iskeru, sons of the sensible strain; Teminu Taszaczu, strong and fearless; Tyese Okabaro; Kostiye, uh, let's see here, uh, Kostiye Peme; Lomia Caskacz, as amiable as his body has made him powerful; Mojyi Mityesz; Mylecz Motyasz; Yakacza Lonyo, a sailor renowned in every hall for his love of the sea; and lastly, with so much pleasure, Doubo Groke: though this world has crept its hate into his eyes and ears, in sheer spite for the tragedies sewn in him he rows in pure commitment, a rebel salvo aiming straight for the offending tyrant. He shall serve us overwhelmingly well, as they all shall, inklings of a genius yet to pale." Myeri allowed himself to enfold into our activity upon such a word, such a dream, even if we knew never how to build its tangibility thirsts, and his silence outgrew the hour split along the sound of our motions as if he spoke them so, fragments found us boarding, unmooring, wind as throats, wishing the sunlight severer... "A [[voyage->mvoyage]]! A voyage shall unite us!"

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter VI''] --- [[Breathe->mbreathe]] the sky its sister, [[sigh->msigh]] into the clouds all the [[earthbound->mkaiya]] [[unbinds->munbinds]] in your presence openness unto a blueness swallow unto a blueness swallow, whorl of [[chance->mblushhaze]] candelabra chiaroscuro hatching your contours thus [[visibly->msmiles]], the chance to be visibly, freed from how the Tower swallows, see me upon these waves [[surging->msurging]] to overrun, our pitch break and bolt into its troughs and crests, exist within its wilds, persist it into perils, the [[heaving->mdisidea]] of chance could... //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Porcelain smile. Lips quivering the cheer fracture sucked teethward by fear of an incoming doubt, the whole face could shatter, but a smile, sly quiver retraction, blue shroud, lacework fabric, conceals again the shaken out: placid sky, silhouetted earth beneath, tilt, a torrent, black comets and the cosmos crashing. Mud covering so much meaning, so many unspoken cruelties as pain reigns: bend, weep to your knees, into the ear shriek white panics spellbound erratic refusing to form a sentence. Loosed truths immanence in the inscrutable retreat language of a body desolate with skin's incomplete dominance. Smiles bullets straight from heart to heart [[bleend->mbleend]], how thin the line that separates us, but nothing comes out right, revelation uniting on levels we wish to isolate unveiling the border's purpose now that it is nearly erased, and the crunching bare tossed callously on stage dares the seenthrough to symbolic action, to clothe with riddles again, retain a semblance or die pure volcanic. To [[Kaiya->mkaiya]], a wince and why the wince. Too much sweat lubricated my jaw, and I, admit it, smiled, something like. Hot on our tanning our first morning at sea I saw her and said it. The graceless sigh after a sip of blacker than the shade coffee, and it just released, I saw her, smiled. She gave me one back which I still wore.

There is a day here I was not guaranteed but am living. Drink the sun, dance intoxicated on shine. Who cares if they see? Who cares hailstones scream from steps? Burst morning light, bless my still given sight with the truth you enable, enact your [[renewal->mrenewal]] blaze, heat of hope tanning, sinking beneath, roiling the heart hopefire flurry reverberating soul to the strand shout, cry into the brilliance… body shook [[bloodbroken->mbloodbroken]] swallowing down Marko and Jaufr, small groan like a dry heave. Quivered as if from the windchill. I moved Mariena on her line. I didn't want to look at them, but I had to, but I wanted to be down there with them, I wanted to imagine some other foreman looking down at us, invisibly also. The ropes burnt my hands with scorched callouses, and I acquiesced the pain to pretend it was meted metaphorically. The seawind sways its breezes on skylines brushing through our shipworks, and you must dance to its [[rhythm->mrhythm]] to run the lines right, to feel in your pull some stronger force.

Upon a wave arising so briefly to bless the crashing to earth with substance as perhaps the [[angels->mblushhaze]] dream. Behind my void [[cloister->msmiles]] I sense his whispers slowly shifting to a new [[voice->mbloodbroken]] inexplicable, loftier a pitch, wishing I could such heights [[assume->mbreathe]], crash back to the [[guttural->mdisidea]] and [[grinding->mrenewal]], no, not yet, aspire the ascenders yet...

Difficulty insinuate her speech within me properly. Actually she how she. I need to assume she does or else what. Sandscorched to assure, I do not need more than deserted, so will I reap in memory what never in life, right, right? I am choking on entrails. I don't know which way is north, no way is north, every directed an aside. You assured not escaper. Definitionally enclosed. I walked up to the wayward and sighed its punch, free to be recauseated, I who never enduress this prescence. Hatefully [[composite->mchangeable]], consideedly [[underposited->munderposited]], dwindling beneath iron say. I hatefully acquisece any imposed upon me, deserve it, assure its actual iron reigning. Assuming itself mine swallowing, devouring all, I desperate the froth. Consume me shied of [[confrontfacion->mconfrontfacion]]. Mother hates me because I usurp, cannot relate but how I slurp up, yum, you're my petit taste. Hateful abrogation of form, absorbed into why rejected. Interject me mistake, mother, inseparate my rejected, I want to worship the death, just as you have, century after frustrated strayed. Endorphins of thrust, contumacious entrapulverlies. I exist the extent of mistakes I commandeer determinate terminus. Dead in how I build upon how she hates me.

Plunk of keys sunk in my teeth quivering chromatic. In some clump of distance drilled a phantom torn, speech like fireflies behind my lidded eyes, seen a semblance burning with recognition, disapparitive cognition, nullspace specter ringing through the relaterminate a hollowing tingling repositioned, self as show I cannot quite, there in the shadows thimbling a bilious dermalination, slashveer veneer stranging a smirk, whose face thrust upon it, mine or Jaufr, uncertain, mine or could it be Kaiya, is it Kaiya hopeful worshiping some forgotten distance theme? Try to reach out to touch what is gone. Where has it gone, my ability to identify force pull push, sinuous kernalization, discontinuous internalization of consequence scription, who you are in afters mixed with bitters to tincture numbshaky. Crawl out of this corpse to beg the spirit its shifts, enclose clapse me lode, slow this disarray cling morphine truth, pare me into the form of this fever facing me, jutter enjambed in it coffin lid slammed. I saw her. No. I saw this specter in. No. Where am I? Who is [[raving->msunrays]]?

Let not the [[tempest->mflooded]] change how you are chained. Is there force of will to endure? What is on my hands? Who is there before me yawning open? Dizzy through knots. Slides and slumps of corpse caterpillars my nerves reverberating maximal, there the slash, this flash foments the darker afters, cradling dusts like urns, how does he not speak. Marko's body bloated careened big impossibly on the clatter, fracture, scatter. I don't know where it was or where it went. Envy, envy, how can you just go like that, how do I learn it, how do I hurt myself in such a way as to end up like Marko, sucking at this wounds to assimilate the knowledge, beautiful juicy spilling out into non, I wish I could be so brave, no, you're, you're countermanding the actualized to prevent the harrowing of factual, you've done this to him and now you seek to sycophant praise the demon deed, you're harvesting even your guilt you bleakmaw ravager, kill me just like him, he's so beautiful how his neck pumps each stair drag, oozy with trails... I could be so good at where he is, yet he gets to be, condemn must myself that he does, but issuing out of the tarantula voicecull throatcrawl splatters bassy the blurble to aver, disdain thematize it, rejection completion, humiliation true. No, you've got to, eah, I can see it, he's staring at me, his eyes are looking right through me, I haven't killed him, he's, no, no, nothing ever again emerges, just like Jaufr, just like. Uttered distance coiled on the wrung to perspire concuss assumptives fetaline, so he seemed thrashing conclosure. Fatal, fetal, disambiguation accorded stairsplash after [[gashshrivel->mredcoated]]. Interred into trembled, our downward exodus, Marko written upon the traveled. Hulch gulpthroat caught to bubble like a [[fountain->mghostsleet]] his folding jaw. Incision under the push towards consequence cascades us cancerous, victim I must attest my prewritten, consummative of held in relief, distress, distress, you are becoming known, this gaze that mocks you knows. No alterity salvation, acidically presence caustic defaces this grimace keen, vandal, bandit, you the syringe glippy with seizure analgesic. Nobody, no body, you carry nothing to the Docks. I am carrying Marko to the Docks. I am carrying Jaufr to the Docks. I am carrying more than my loaded can bear. Submit, I'm so sorry, I should have let you, I'm so sorry Jaufr, why did I do nothing, I want you to use my body to come back to life, crawl up into my brain and overbeing. Indetermination dermus gray undulates unduration [[duressives->mdesiccated]] successive excessive compositional to comportment in rampart natals corroded diversive to unique regression capillaries regrets begotten to of the deaths seen, forest of the dammed. Cut deeper into my desync and splatter faces awhirl with Marko emulsified. Venn of vitreous and victorless evinced in this vicious tableau patterning from my palms sweating astigmatic. Indetermine this, please, I cannot, yet I must, I have to, or why else, who...

Inference fulcrum sacrificed upon its bend, worldtool siphon of gods for incarnata mysteria engraven riven from completions individuations, vestige untarnished of a vault yet rapined, but forever in the hang we hold it in hearts crushed by the implication of memory as past the present which is always an adequate nothing, what barely because of its physical force slams us still, what any dreamer flees from, the dawn today. All our sociality is a salvage trading, anything we might give everything for is unforgotten by the raging endureless and reaped by dwindling creation quaking under a sucking ruby portal. Our best passes first because it shines bright enough to spite the void, but I wanted to believe what who would not believe, that I was not the anemic shadow, there could yet arise some resplendence nondifference in which could I hollow hide, upon the [[horizon->msunrays]] where...

"Murder's necessary is what I've always said," Marko. "Have you?" Mazyu. "No, but I ought to have. The idea I've just now, ought to scatter it back a bit, build myself up that like, you'll think of me that way won't you? Because murder is actually genuinely a gorgeous thing, two creatures upon a plane scrabbling for meaning, one says to the other, no. Heard the mermaid joke?" "Yes," Yakacza. "So's a fisher casts a net and pulls a mermaid, says she, cannot ken ye the worlds I've seen, coral castles rippling in darksway, beasts beyond imagining gliding chthonic from deeps beyond light to reckon which eon reigns, wrecks of the ancients resplendent with treasures sleeplessly still gleaming soul secrets, armadas arcane of spidercrabs crawling upon each other idols of a fortress god forged by the crushed and cracked, krakens screaming just beneath hearing seething frigid jets effervescent, whales singing the songs the sun forgot, now too I've seen creatures that drink of air and ensnare all whom the border between worlds touch, what more of this magic can such a body store? Eat of me if you will, but you cannot destroy the miracles I have meant. Says he, I want nothing of worlds, there's no beauty there, and [[guts->mnight]] her. Isn't it magnificent? I've always tried to apply the principle, or I haven't, but I ought to have had, just as like, that's been my past now." "What principle?" Mojyi. "What?" "You said of applying the principle, what so hor?" "Oh, that we must -" "Don't get him going on that now, we'll never the end of it," Mazyu. "Gut him to gain it, shut his words up, no beauty there." "Ey, we've come to terms then, shall we murder each other truce?" Marko. "Sure, let's shake hands and call each other dead." "It's a suicide pact! Bury nice to meet you! What? No laughs? Why's every body so grave?" "How deep set are you?" "Deeper than the mermaid! What, I cheer for the conversate yet everyone just stiffens me same? This is why I never mood up!" "Because when you're cheered you're about how much you believe in murder. If you could babble on about I don't know dreamwords like Yakacza we'd asleep in your ramble, we'd be bed buds, that's like the level above best." "You can't be above best," Mojyi. "When've you made acquaintance with best? You'd starve in a garden, you're like half a person." Mazyu. "We're all half a person." I. "Someone punch Leiru back to sleep lor," Mazyu. "Now you've got it, beauty of [[murder->mstart3]], joy of a world that doesn't have to be filled!" Marko.

Everywhere you speak a grate [[clenches->mstart3]] you sealed. They barely glance over at your rusted caged. Next time not even a mutter, velvety darkness. Isn't this more pure, more true, you beg the dank [[seeps->mjaufrei]].

Carried within you ultimatums unable to unlock their mattered to terminally youthere. Visibly inguish glashed by the star, despoil of scarshine brilliance. Inhumane multiplicity of yes as you penumbrate through inchoate wilts weltering. Insupportably pith in beam novally novel, heavy metals scattered through lacks, accrete cohere of the cast religions the blastbound zealous of alienation's tarn, dynamists glittering reflective of austere rothkonics. Rims sink you beneath the [[whorl->mjet]] milky soul. Insurrect constructor [[recombinatory->mcoagulating]] to cruciformulate vectors of enargeia.

Interdeterminative polysemous vandals of indenteds havoc through unvocalizers, networks of shutsay sewn to terrain marred, shockland awestruck [[quiverity->mnight]] quiesscence lysosomal deinvestation absolution immix meld roulette of faces, disregard mine, discard for this accorded lucky, precious gambit yet fated, oracle of quintessence graspable, inhospitable tractable uslurper of slurry cosmics, amount me this milled, ingrained framed permutater verzweiflung versificator, individuated divisibilitated devilesque masquerain. Lying languid on the hulk of jagdjags ragged as the crags quagmire questmired, dragged haggard to guilt incomplesive, sprayself splashcrashed cry to the blackened sky refactored fiend, elemental essence of this mind defied, desire as scour of fundament, bloodlet us destory, spooling out to denied, relent, release, querulous before gods recease... Trembled to kneel to see before the wherewithal distancing removed. Where have they gone was warped on my expressed. Cudgeled to hesitate to absence. Where was Jaufr, was he coming, closing my eyes against the migraine, hesitant on the floor to crawl anymore than relent, release, he is [[deceased->msuffocation]], Yeska, he's, Jaufr, he's, where am, how did they go, need to follow, hold on, where is everyone, what's, or it's, or I can't believe he's gone, or I don't know what it means that he is, or I don't, or I suppose I, I'm just so [[hungry->msemblances]], have always been.

Where was I yesterday? Was it [[killing->mforgive]] someone? And here I am smiling as if coffee washes blood away? But the [[velvet->mrhythm]] in my veins, the warm plume between my brows, blanket throat, did it not give me so much, allow me to [[feel->mcircularity]] rather than [[think->mtouchroots]], but what should you feel, where is death's residue, have you washed the embalming fluid from your bloodied skull? Feel, what did? Why only this taste? This cursed body, not yet deadened to all but thought...

[[Persist->mbleend]]. [[Focus->mkaiya]]. Exist as the sea forces you to. I twisted Mariena to fifth notch sternsail. Imeni slipped to the end of the rope. The metal to which she was tied moaned. Blistering strength of pull, I threw Imeni forward to mainsail. [[Kaiya->mkaiya]] flitting like a leaf far beyond the edge of the ship sat arms crossed around her tie waiting. Watched her wishing she would never see me, that none of them would, even as I looked down to see them. Tear apart this torment shell shame endlessly cycling never contained in this [[trudge->mtouchroots]] soul sequestered in its rageflash fomenting across instants [[shutterstepped->mcircularity]]. Why doesn't the sky drink me? What right lies between the [[ocean->mdisidea]] and I? Why am I a prisoner in exactly as I am?

"I pity my teeth," whispered Nyneme inside my skull, "deadly pearl daggers ready to spear and pierce any flesh to wring out ruby destruction, and yet they can never quite make it through the roof of my mouth, they will never gore my cortex, these tiny tearers will always be caged just beneath the kill, taunted. What walls our lips are to hide such hell, to hold back our howls. They twisted you into a smile, and is that more wrong than what they always do? Why can't you fang free of these lines and envenom elsewhere than where engendering encases, proliferate the poison protrepsis of embodiment, dwell in dispersed insufficiencies? Let us render our rendered violence. Are they not nails to wield your fingers like hammers, punch puncture everything in your grasp, constrict your destiny and suck from the pierced fierce [[sustenance->mrhythm]], digitdrills mining for precious secrets in any soon to be delved surface, I am my knife, I relish strife, vanquish life with life vampiric, voltslurp the quintessence to alchemize your fervent fevers to a cooled control, [[touchroots->mtouchroots]] to seek substance, destroy until you are the ruins created, and there created be. Prisoner as you are, imprison your our, lash it to the dank stone and whip us broken. As broken as the bodies you have left behind?"

"Do you ever think about the forgettable things that will be forgotten when you pass into memory?" Nyneme. "The small thoughts, the weird musings on popular sayings, the pet peeves, the ordinary things you never mastered the familiarity to. People have this nostalgia about bygone things, but they focus on the big moments, we romanticize the remnants, waymark the era with the bits we still discuss, but the past doesn't live in the narrow aperture through which the future gazes, our lives are made up of accidental music, of things that just were there, of ways of being and thoughts and dreams all scattered in uncertainty, we dress in detritus, we dance to dead songs, we devour the happenstance dust. Vague familiarities as irretrievably gone as the era they composed. When we die, a time dies with us. Isolation chambers qualia arias upon the hush noumenally experiencer, internalizer evanescence. Identities soluted in the canals choked with trash we have learned to treasure, because that was what was there when we were there. Lost, the cherished with the worthless, in gentler nothing. Death's most profound tragedy is our alienation from the possibility of truly being understood. If we scorch some mark, then they will guess flame caricatures. Perhaps they may even guess close to correctly, but they will never live in the image with you. "In all the time I tapered away, I dreamed of being reborn, of being someone better, more me, more free, but the more I passed the more I realized that such a simulacrum never would be me, would not recognize the spirit that wished it summoned. In another time, another place, in another way, why would that not just be someone else? We have to be these despairs, because hope without the weeping need is aimless blissness, dross to any other. Manifest the other side of the fantasy to find this phantom unmoored from your reflecting to strangeness never to harbor your happiness. No alterior good will ever affirm the holes in our souls as necessary nor nurtured of some similar seed, we shall break upon the bleak erasure stains leaking the identity to void [[disidea->mdisidea]]. The idea of being gone scares you, scares me, so I refused naively to fade, you want to believe in again, but again would be this again, and never again should wish anyone with more will than warmth; there is no again, only an also, and if it's just also, then what has it to do with this? It is an and, and an and doesn't add but adjacents, it only adds to the larger semantic, and whether we love it or hate it doesn't change it to the lover or hater. Again is worthless. Again should terrify you. Living is horror rife, think of all the abominable possibles, think of every miserable wretch as someone else's again, and who wants to reel around such a carousel, cosmically inescapable whirl of again and again eventually entailing every ruthless chance, imprisoned in endlessly abyssals plummeting, plummeting, plummeting, plummeting, plummeting... assent this suffering as sufficient and rest through the rest. Imagine all the misery that mired this earth before you; how peacefully oblivious you weren't! All possible misery after you, the same peaceful oblivion... people struggle to imagine death, but you were dead before, a thousand years ago will be your millennium hence.

"In this instead steady treading through the need, the want, the wait, the none." Nyneme. "Threads miswoven mistspoken by the seaspray seizes the shivers wet to form form memories from the foam to draw out doppelgangers [[dredged->mdisidea]] up from the need, the want, the wait, the none. Linger in the lapping like a lost star glitter in the nightwash chill spills the frost phantoms in sloshlash waves that fizz against the ship like frozen sighs. Second's suspense centrifuge whips us round the ruse to chiasmic constructions, lived out mirror moments hued of the diffraction of the generative, gently lost in columning of the center justified radiation, honeycomb cells seiching with what little gilded gel nourishes our imprisoned buzz numb. Immolation illuminates the inner fire, in inferno flickers your smile's truest bent, so let it all burn down and die in it, blaze be. Learn to love missing chances. Cherish each lost as if you lived it. In every absence you create your hollows endure. Nowhere never so much as the making in this yearn, affirmed in the failure, our most true is what cannot manifest from the filth accretion we drag from day to exhausting days unending, wishing we could."

Relatch Kaiya's chain, needs dragged me back down to this ocean of origins. Beneath me the judgment, the anticipation, having to be known, perceived. That's what I couldn't stand, more than the smile, was how she pressed it back on my lips like a seal. Each surreptitious askance medicinal, an appraisal, conjuring of meaning in pools empty, opaquely personal. Her thoughts scampered up her lines to prod me from side to side, batter my rampart doors, crawl in through narrow spaces. Chained to reality with her staring, eyes nearly cross with her gaze. In desperation to blink I rammed myself to hard edge focus moving ropes on their circuits, passing knots through steel rungs to hook ropers to other sails, guiding shapes that dimly guilted me round and round cycles blistering with tedium, entrancing [[circularity->mcircularity]] of the motions, ropes and knots and steel and motion, me, them, the play of ourselves without anything but the neutral wind acting, being, us a one thing reacting. My scarf sagged, but as I went to lift it a gust tugged Mariena hard port. Offrevolves growing larger led her too far from the sails, and in a hard pull I brought her back to base. I wished she would not nod at me. I slid Kaiya from her starboard perch to midsail ropework. Wanted to rip off my face and throw it to her so she could study it in peace. Needling salve sting, but how could I hate her, how do you punch a prayer? Sighed again, breathe, nothing is as it ever shall be in the lurch. You're overinvolved in what could so easily be nothing. Kaiya was in a way I could never feel, every vertex we shared would I skewer her in a cross section of a single shaft missing the context and skewing it, and in building parapets upon the modicum I caged, cities still the chthonic glow about the borders, the reality would be simply a reflection in pools of rain: dim, implacably unstill, impossibly indistinct. Led astray to my own imagination as always. The lines with which I drew faces were too wavy to unblur warbled tones, snakes or scuttling crabs. Could they [[forgive->mforgive]] me if I let them snap me? Would anyone respect the ash of an honesty worse than the lie? Kaiya staring at my smoldered against her. If only I really was a thing, not stillborn ideas oozing on sterile actions, I could, I could! Racing streams along my cheeks the biting wind.

Shiversun yielded to [[blushhaze->mblushhaze]] tremulous cumulusly. Pellucid pervades recombinated directrix motion in effusive plash effluxion trench and azimuth. Lozenge drifts of [[spilled->msmiles]] sunlight filtered golden to dust.

Seaspray awake to motivaluation, in mode an owed to ode, accept relish of brunt, interpolate in flushray deluger equivocality stormsinger. Surrender to refusal to relent, godhood guiser aggresselene stark upon bounded duelities rupturous to frayworld focalizer, orrery lens to nova, gears gleaming dragon [[assemblation->mstart6]] as ancient inscriptions return existensor scarmarks summonseal in planished to page. Each moment you make molds your momentum's foreveere.

Envy of vying more profoundly or velvety or enmity of suppressions. Precious alterity they achieve, you don't, even if ultimately they don't, even if you nestle in your nots. You have to let go to focus on your holding ons. Surrender their faux glamor for your in the filmy noir neutralize humanifier, except I hardly know ply from peril, barely interpret of the daze, shall I surreptice surrender from insurmounteds? Gleefully mystical of pleasures renounced to rawvibe. Inconclusive trove of drears cherished dolor pigments bloodsplatterly pastels of martyrdom kitsch, how blissfully we'll [[die->mbleend]] if it denies our denied. That's all your making amounts to, its insurrection mountably. And so? I'll cheerfully account myself thenceness than this wist. Or so I should insist for whose benefit? I demand an answer! From whom, me? What do you want that I don't have? You're coequivalent with my quells, so dwell so querysichthon spell, ravenous intravenous non of the shell. Quotient: carapace [[seaswirl->mdisidea]] shell of undizzied free radical spiral of carousel, uniquely in oculminaret. Rapid streams of awareness from which you must sift which severely intervenes action point, enact what of the halt? Given that I don't believe myself, struggling to see why I ought to believe others. Let me rephrase: I am choking upon the wasteland, you too are here. Let me rephrase: I empathize our mutual revulsion. We share the same superiority that never materializes, we suffer condescends sans final impact. If we can but preincorporate our nondispensate, disaccept the exemption, incorporeal the [[vulnerate->mtouchroots]], then are we not disagreements armaments, wield of woeseen? Must outspirit the inference faraday, fareflay the pared deigns, relinquiddity denergeist fane for slaughter priestess perfect. Because I you hate equal thrust, I acquiesce my annulment just. Sleep beneath our judgments as no survivor obtains tomorrow, cleanse us to rainbow. We must selfhate ourselves fierce enough first to outflank those that hate us accurate. Right? Or how else explain that I have this hate for myself and the rest? Ah, egoist even of damnations, centrality of harrows, none nobility of nadir sufferers, hell me autarch, cast aside any [[penury->mbloodbroken]] yours to pride mine. Zenith endsmith of desunpair. Coinciding guilts we parse glyphic to thespiano concerted glissandoom. Each of us pathetique, I love you alike upon the gallows. Let us blush the kiss of death, oblivion raptures.

Roundly and roundly increasing the dizzy hardspun threadbare borne by propelled forward and skyward. Assume the same momentum, duress durate individuated. Must focus force. Let not the sea speak through you, oversail its [[complications->mdisidea]], affix futures to the sails, windborne be.

Guttural loath roared the ocean open. Isolated shards of the even still now receded behind the dragging whirl spitting its crag [[jegu->mjegu]] which sliced our skyness like the shard of its own casted off presence speaking in immediate fade incense trailers cyclone focalizer tendriling in tentacles bursting with girth eruption from the jegu's mouth wriggletearing rapidly the rent askew as if to selfdisembowel. Resultant slam back to the ocean splashed hard us nearly a spillout. Briny parasites scampered along the warbling frame chewing at its sinewy skin as it peeked back out. "All hands!" Avacz. "Kenkh, the huge of it," Mazyu. "Ropes, full starboard!" Myeri raced to the railing to confront it. Mariena obliged. I sucked in my breath, anticipation a sharp chest puncture. "Gya, depose it on the ram forth, don't let parasites crawl on. Pyevi, grab up a couple hands, not rowing out of this one aye. Aci, load cannon. Battle up, let's go! The seas have given us our chance: let our religion crystallize too this noise!" I grabbed Kaiya's and Imeni's [[lines->mlines]] and threw them midships. One of the jegu's fifteen bulbous eyes swiveled to me, venn pupils dilating. "Brace for the [[ram->mram]]!" Gyadalta.

How can we count the world to equal? When the world seems uncertain we spill, unleash shelter to desperate amass a maybe, yet ever floods the minus a truth heavy enough to shut. Lifetimes of cast it unto the wind to watch washed ashore the shudder. Peregrination of evinceds sludged over centuries we silt turpentine loam bornes. Vertex of project and [[denier->mdisidea]] lozenges the leavening road envelop. Simply causality, how shall you meet me. Regret grows deeper roots than our solidities. Derivative of source pure, our mistake's pellucid. Each falter organizes paths cannot you tread pilgrim to penance, gutted into its streaked unable to assimilate, parallax of brocade shimmer and fade, we recognize in wreckeds. Beseech I as failed, as Imeni mourns. Imeni's rope pulled taut in my hand, fixed her to midsail. Lift these fingers to praise whatever returns in the sound of my prayer clearly...

Gurgling viscous lumbered the [[jegu->mjegu2]] closer, its wake an acid bath, lime fins swatting the water in the missiling churn. Humongous stretched its mouths. Squiggling babbles squirted from its gelatinous frame to shake the ship. Pyeisa raced outboard to the port bow tensing a barbed [[lance->mlance]]. "It's crawling with parasites ah," Pyeisa. "We're in the [[overrun->moverrun]], yeska!" "Brace!" Gyadalta. "Impact midships!" "Ropes! Starboard! Starboard!" "Trying, fjelske!" Mariena. "The thing only goes so –" "We'll sever if it impacts midships!" Myeri. "You've got to maneuver, we've got to, fast! Foreman hey! Aerial another forward." Scrabbled at the ropes, veins in frost, feeling the knots in my hand coarse and confusing, sorting through their obstinance as if reaching across an immense distance, pulling and pulling and turning… Impact. Crush. Scattered on the spillwhirl.

"There's, look out, it's headed straight for -" "Brace for the [[ram->mjegu2]]!" "Get down hey, down or you'll -" "Aerials to starboard, pull us to -" "I'm trying!" Mariena. Tugged, continuously tugging, the deck listing so severely, the [[ropes->mlines]] like briars pocking... "Here it comes!" "The quick of it!" "Gods!" "Get down for the –" Slid on a light shaft, rainbow prisms [[popping->mropework]]. Seasick swivels gutted my stomach; butterfly flutters flushed through me for the space of a second. Walls of wood and steel crushed. Newly aware of spurts of blood flowing from my nose. Clambered to my feet squinting, hand on nose, wincing.

"Foreman, an aerial's cut!" Myeri. "[[Pick->mpick]] her up on another line! Jenyelle, steady us up hey, we're bobbing here! Pyeisa, in the eye, its eyes, you bumbler, not the tails!" Leaned over the rails sorting askance beyond Pyeisa and Mazyu prodding back the beast, past Gyadalta lancing its eyes, past Avacz axe in hand struggling with [[parasites->mparasites]], to ah, Imeni, there, smashed into the [[brokenness->moverrun]]. Screamed her name; ambient [[blare->mropework]].

"[[Kaiya->mkaiya2]]! Imeni's [[down->mjumped]]! Can you get her?" I. "What?" "Imeni, she, she's cut! Can you get to her?" "Yeah maybe, hold on, um, if you, if you loosen my line, maybe!" I loosened her line. "More, you gotta loosen way more! I'm too far up." I loosened her line. "Almost there, just a little –" Tentacle crashed through the [[ropework->mropework]], and she flew to the sunset waning. Inarticulate [[cry->mcry]], shocked staring.

"Pyevi, the extra lances!" Myeri. "Arm up call! Send two to Gyadalta; rest of you, those [[parasites->mparasites]]! They're everywhere!" "Yeska," what slurred into my ears like Volya. "There's so many!" "We've got to, someone send up some [[reinforcers->mreinforcers]], we're gonna [[lose->mropework]] the deck with all these, these, there's so many!" Gyadalta.

"Aci, where's the [[cannon->mcannon]] hey?" Myeri. "Cannon [[broke->mropework]] in the ram," Leiska. "Straight bust." "I thought I told Jenyelle to glue it up right!" "What do you want me to do?" "Can it fix? Give it a go either!" "We're on it," Leiska. "Says it might take five." "Five" a sweep of the axe "minutes?" Avacz cried. "Fjelske!" "Just you out on the shortform hey, rest of us last so long." Pyeisa. "Will you please beast shut him?" "Nah, let the [[loosen->mloosen]], focus your furious on the beast." Gyadalta. "Old Gyadalta gets me, I feel so -" Pyeisa. "Gets you [[killed->mawe]], I keep hoping!" "Aw, pleased to hear I star in your hopes and dreams." "Oh gods, it's, one of them's on Teminu, he's, oh gods, the [[blood->mbetween]]!" Avacz. "Death stares upon us, sailors! Heed its missive, reply in kind!" Myeri.

Everyone is going away, you're losing everyone all the time, season of death, [[cherish->msunset]] no more, no, no I can't, they can't, Kaiya, Kaiya, Yeska, no, you've, stay focused, you've, Imeni, Imeni, she's, you've got to, oh gods… "Mariena, Imeni needs a new line!" I. "I'm busy against capsize. Get [[Kaiya->mkaiya2]]!" "Kaiya's gone!" "What do you mean Kaiya's gone?" "Kaiya's –" Screech whirled me backward to a [[parasite->mparasites]] scurried up [[ropework->mropework]]. Three brandished mouths that spiraled inward in dentitions like shattered chandeliers atop a craggy shore. Paused, it crouched for the pounce. [[Weapon->maxes]], weapon, none… [[Jumped->mjumped]].

Splayed tumbling somehow to grabbing a line coursing beneath my ripping palm, flame sea licking, tingling lavatips held webspinning faster into the [[blurblare->mmemory]] brokening to strangely nearly lucidity agony of a platform, I missed, another – Insides retched into my eyeballs bursting overload. Could hear the crunch of snapping bones. Were they my own? [[Pain->mpain]] blaring red.

"No, Seleph Berakh, please, you must get back, this is no place for –" Myeri. "We're here to help," Meluoi. "We're trained warriors." "You're passengers, is what you are. Please return to the cabin!" "Teminu overboard!" Maybe Gyadalta? "I'm hurt!" Yakacza. "I'm falling back!" "Who cares?" Avacz. "You're staying up!" "I'm [[bleeding->mcannon]]!" "Teminu's –" "Of course you're [[bleeding->mslice]], everyone's [[bleeding->mbetween]]!"

"Leiru, out of the way!" Volya kicked me in the ribs. "You're dead and center here!" I gaped through my ribs rattling like a glass fortress buckling. Noise battered my ears, punching polyphony. Avacz yanked me up. "Axes by the barrels. Hurry up." "[[Imeni->mimeni2]] –" Avacz shoved me toward the barrels. "Hurry." Staggering bewildered, raw jolts surging, static lightning electrifying limbs, sparks spider elongated to thin tendrils frothing its legs and stinger thrusting. Scanned for [[Imeni->mimeni3]] the malaise of fear and rushing. Where even was. Fliss of the [[axes->maxes]] hiss. Upon the barrels scampered parasite, scales a slime oozed from the [[sunset->msunset]] red splattershining in rush screech sheen...

[[Imeni->mimeni3]]. Every detail congealed, tumult and terror belied by one crystalline lay she the storm's still eye to which centripetal dizzied tumbled I through the chaos dream a [[nocturne->msunset]]. Again a mere moth I chased her burst. "You give me too much power," she laughed, the moment of untension but moments before it tenses. Yet of course I loved her, and maybe that is what love is, giving someone too much power. No, it isn't, but it's the closest I've ever come to stanched calm. What does it mean to want? To want, to desire beyond the gate, to be predicated on a source to be drained, is all want the [[murder->mvoid2]] slope? Love, but don't you give, but don't you give so that you too can take, maybe love is letting yourself be drained? But then what a good lover I was! Ha, hah ah, aren't these nails blades, can't I fray my face freeblank bone? Surely love is mutually refilling, lasting love refills its own basin, but with what, with whom? Am I right or wrong to want, but what is it I want from her? I looked at her and wanted to be through this, desperate to be what she smiled at as we do at a mirror when confidence glimmers through our decay, mirror, yes, narcissus desire anything you wish to attach to you, no, nothing narcystic, I wanted her to belong in a bearing we could share, maybe, no, I wanted her, but I don't know what, why do we want, why do I want, what do we want from anyone but our own howls? Is it carnal, but it must be carnal, through primal chaos I chase a woman, and so damned am I to what I deserve, but yet it wasn't, we never even once, but you don't have to, do you, to be so monstrous, the absolute stripping of sexuality is pure sexuality itself, every shape you charade melts to essence, killcure your hunger in the act. Leftness eternally in her void, will there be any border between desire and shame? And isn't that what I feared the most, being naked before her, being seen as I am not? Isn't that what I, thrash out my tongue, strangle me sorry. Confliction truths in a jumbled goliath.

It leapt, to the left, I lunge grabbed an axe, the hiss spumed fresh, and I turned in time to see the creature catapult, jangling maw, swung the axe up to meet it, sliced its legs. The parasite slung down. I raised up the axe to execute. It sprung, wrapped around my face, skin flaked to the teeth invasive. Dropped the axe, bladeflat smacked it, twinfall. Recovering, panicked, composed, it convulsed beneath to a scrunched up prelunge, hand over my face loosely damming the gush, melted eyes, through the wounds flush groping, dimly pulsating in [[instinctual->mimeni2]] filth of blood and teeth it jumped, grabbed at where I imagined an axe, blind whirl, blade glinting in the glare of the swollen sun, it cut the creature in two. [[Severed->mvoid2]] halves plopped on the floor asynchronously, one two beat denouement.

Calm passage tickle dancing across skins ascending up to the aether to intermix with the clouds so conceal comforting those conditioned to temporality could only taste its ice as [[bittersweet->mimeni3]]. Her smile shimmered the bliss that into melancholy lingers, late noon play that progresses without blinking into the settling evening, the prematurely [[lost->mloosen]] in [[memory->mmemory]]. Azure paths stretched infinite out before our sans destinations. "I love coming up to the gardens," that smile. "Why's that?" Our hands connected in the kiss of hearts; how stupid, how pathetically childish that childish phrase is, but don't we all want to sometimes think a thought like that, any kind of trite cuteness that invariably sours to sneers before others, but why should something that melts before others be less [[precious->mimeni2]]? "Because I can imagine fields. Can't you?"

Buzz hedges jounced bladely to shred the stuck within. [[Parasites->mparasites]] roamed over the deck, up the ropes, everywhere the blare of the jegu. Losing sight of. Trying to move the aerials along the [[lines->mlines]], losing the thread, unfocus narrowness pulsating quiverspasms. "We're dying out here! Where the hell are those cannons?" "Fjelske, Lomia! Be careful! The thing'll pull you right in if you stab too deep." Gurgles at maximum registers of bass. "I thought you said four! It's been four!" "He's still working!" "You said" the cry of a parasite "you said four minutes!" "Things change." "Things change! We're up to our tits in gore here!" "Who gave you my biography?" "Shut each hell up, Pyeisa, yego. Why don't you wrangle up a reinforce?" "I thought we already got some?" "Baelu, it's got my arm! It's got my arm, it's got my arm! Help me! Kaiza!" "Dammit, Yakacza, hold on." "Just go get them. We need more." "You go get them, you're closer, I got this –" Batter reeled the ship and it seemed the sea askew. Things thudded. Dizzy, slightly, more than slightly; trying to shake it off, I [[tripped->mpain]]. "Look out for that thing, geskecz!" "Two more at least!" "Yeska!" "Yeska!" "Two more? Yeska!" "Hold still!" "I can't, the damn thing is, ahh, it's biting, ow, geiga, no, ow, ow, eahh, get it off, get it off!" "Hold still, yego!" "I'm trying!"

"I was on a voyage for Captain Lesmehi at the time," Pyeisa. "This was three, four years back, or. Nejani was our Ensign, and it was Laveri that was Lieutenant." "Laveri!" Mojyi. "Totally forgot the tasker! Ey was he a rollicker yeah. Wink he used to give you right before he'd notch you on in front of everyone, oh so, utter state he'd drivel you to like you were lovers weeping out the exing, what a memory he is, how's that I'd forgotten ah, what's with it with [[memory->mmemory]], slimepacked of shames ooze out but nary a gem, where I gotta stab my skull to bleed out the good bits?" "I remember he used to whip you basically dead, but then he'd hand you right up, leak you a slurp," Yakacza. "I remember one time he destroyed me, couldn't sit down or stand up or lie down for like a week so, had to learn to hover, but he nursed me battered out of it the rest of the voyage, woke up not remembering my name in Umae's, he patted me on the head as if a god compelling me unto existence, suckled me ambrosia it felt so, and he was rambling so gently about perk up on this mate, hard days out for you now, don't let the scars sink in, you'll embark before too long hey, you've got the essence, you'll do bright, any day you'll be up to avenge on me!" "Yeah so it was Laveri this voyage I was on right," Pyeisa, "and splashes out this massive wosa, huge right, so we all get tensed, harpoons and shooting. You were there, weren't you, Mazyu?" "Yeah, thing was massive." "It was, really was though, and like well Lesmehi's on the bridge fussing about cargo, you know what a kyauska about it, had some job about duty jammed up his sour mouth, but and anyway Nejani's down on the deck helping us out, fighting this –" "Nejani!" Mojyi, wistfully. Head hung abashed – "So Laveri takes it on himself to go belowdecks to bark the rowers, or so what's we thought anyway, but he emerges like two minutes brandishing brandy best I've personally envied, goes well fighting really stirs a thirst hey, fancy a drink? I brought cups!'" "He brought cups!" Mojyi. "There we were fighting off this wosa big as you can be, harpoons in one hand, brandy in the second, alternating stabbing and sipping like dreamer of a taste, where'd you score it?" Pyeisa. "So he goes, ah for it in Nejani's cabin, right there in the bin labeled personals." Mazyu. "Nejani hacks up to the man, back turned on tentacles writhing, this blurbling monstrosity right, most horrible I'd, harpoon lightly resting in his palm like ungripped would you believe it, off he is shouting beisza that’s my father's you've purloined, Laveri's back to, father is it, imagine so, warms the guts so much it could impregnate to a temperous as yourself!" Pyeisa. "Hours they're arguing, like how battle they're at it, you owe me so and so much, never will you get a clink from me lah, whole time we're battling this [[beast->mawe]] ahaha, dodging [[deathstrikes->mvoid2]] as they go!" Mazyu. Scrambling for some funny story I could lie, some way to trick them away, but I had none, and the denouement – "Nejani told me much later, after Laveri had died, he said, you know that's the trick to overcoming the worldhate, turning the [[dying->mcry]] and anxiety into something like living, belittling it all an anecdote, gloss the reality you can't live, was his line, said it all the time after." Pyeisa. "Nejani," Mojyi stared at what he projected on the ceiling. "Whatever happened the yego?" My ears burned hot.

"Emnin?" Imeni gazed up through sheets of inner twilight haze. "Emnin, is that you?" "Imeni. Don't panic. You've fallen from the ropes. Can you stand?" "Everything hurts," a laugh more akin to a cough. "You're fine. It'll, we'll, something. Let's get you out." Hoisted her onto my back but stumbled as the ship shook. Incessantly the jegu battered the ship tottling, senseless incense to the jackal demiurge, brute rejoinder to the [[void->mvoid2]] from which we should learn. Managing to keep the advantage of my feet I dodged creatures blitzing through sight. A tentacle slapquaked ahead of me but I slid under it carrying Imeni and scrambled back up to rush. The ship shuffled, creaked, groaned, strained under the bat bat bat of the attack. I slid into the slipcabin. I opened the hatch and [[descended->mstart7]], placing Imeni on an overturned table. "What happened?" I didn't know how to answer. I left.

Shouts mingled with the noise raws to upwards welter concuss. From the fragmentation flung a feverish driplet, gibbous gibberer gorehound skittery skating up the loops to lunge upon my staggering grasping woundhewn from the, ahh, from the nest, tumbling through lines, both the beast and I in plummet, crashing upon the wrack, spinelashed upon a rope as plummets [[past->mloosen]] me the parasite, hackling stunned as slowly in my sense but too swiftly to sense slip I from the line, smash into another, tumble down until I somehow manage myself somewhere, blinking, bleeding, barely capable of [[standing->mpain]], adrenaline pumps electrified, dizzy swinging to stance as scampered up to me a parasite, without even understanding grasping an axe and smashing an axe into it, but pull out won't the axe, thrust in afresh to rip out in a chunkslide, twice yanking, thrice tearing at it and even its legs slurries slops fumerole, gnashing its teeth as if to bite through itself, corpse and axe clutchstucked a clump. Spied a lance, grabbed a lance. Upwards at the lines: no, she's not, no, where, she's gone, as if no one was up there, where's [[Imeni->mimeni3]], where's [[Kaiya->mkaiya2]]?

Ruby streaked the cannon in twilight. Undulating in smoke congests dancer's grin moon. Shouts trailed each boom. Otherworldly wails wallowed out like long fingernails scraping a rough stone surface dragging and breaking, bending the nails back in audible agony. The jegu sunk in a spray which hung like mist. Death undonned its cloak, thrust its tunnel tongue into cleaved bodies to slurplick in search of a soul to suck; finding nothing, glare contemplative unbroken upon our shattereds, before with an implosion vortex evaporating into the space where it once was ushered a wispscreech shrieksword incision; [[wreck->mstart7]] of corpses endured in an unshakable dull. Myeri strolled midships. "Now that, sailors, is what we live for," smiling amidst the carnage.

Racing to the brim of the boat, rocking with its rocking. Staring into where could she, she, no, surging up through my esophagus a thought I wanted to share with Kaiya, see her reaction, except I've been, been hiding so long from her react, taking for granted its... Noise, blur; absence. That looseness in limbs which never recovers to motivation. Kaiya laid nearest the crackling hearth, shadowdress magical her laugh ringling through ears so touchly accustomed. Glancing at her with a certainty by which we build tomorrows each woken so trudgly accustomed. Kaiya, who had been there in the earliest [[scars->mstart7]] and cherishes, to whom I used to whisper my dreams, a mind where they lived. White gnaw anguish injected in spasms and gulpweeps presaging intensification months before finally deadened to cycles plateau wanderer.

Rumble of snapping and cracking purred the tilting to recognition in my [[temples->mtemples]] rebounding. Sudden loss of sky. Splinters of hickory and umber jabbed the rushstruck dizzy. Clawing at tombing ceiling of detritus rain. Distance dwindling between way and space shunted my cry to bonechoked gnash. Jolts pain every nerve [[firerites->mfirerites]] whose ghosts smolder over courses of [[eonic->meonic]] brackish [[swelters->mswelters]]. No way to up. Wanderless focalish split the gaze to nausea. Hurt, hurt. Cannot, my knees not working. Eyeballs throbbruised to bursting, clutching at where I would think them, clutching my clavicle crooked. Slime in my cartilege slushed.

"Keep sweatforcing to believe even when I don't quite cohere believer, presenceless penitenet preached unto abysm cast I gated the reciprocity anguish coursing fundamentality of reckonings so long as I first in hell burn, forcing myself to feel true nested by lies. Electric skyscream prayer so heaven echoes my heaving! Eschatonic my opacity rended to your deinvestation clarity, sunder usend serenity, how do I trust again when I cannot wish for more to blossom but violence? I yearn them to hurt, Emnin, cannot sleep but dreaming they're suffering, to what end, would I actually anything seize in their writhes, write what of the woe? Finality begets nothing but a lack of what came before. I'll collect of their names nothing, truest violence my dwindling can afford, will not in depths recognize their alikeness [[crushed->mpain]]." Imeni.

Seemed she so far away though the dance raze trails boundlit us both to the run as one, her touch slipping until she led me more by memory than by pull. Yellowly the moon moaned through the Window a chill sneaking between heat distorts so just as you start to sweat you feel it freeze. Waving a torch in her dance Mariena panted up to us to stall abrupt a chase which could have continued for nights into tersetongued exhaustions. "Imeni, Emnin, you've to join us yeah?" she jittered as if to swerve away to torchdance afresh. "Where's Jaufr?" I. "Dunno ah, worshipping something in himself illumined, seeker crouched torches." "Where nab we torches? Nobody told such a festival leh." Imeni. "Keep questions ehh like I know anything, I know nothing, only firedance." Wheeled into sparks. Imeni staring her chaos into beauty envious. [[Skullringing->mpain]] sigh. "Shall I scavenge us out some torches?" I. "No, too late then, we'll be the only ones dancing." "Sure so? Seems they've another -" "Let's just skip out somewhere quiet yeah?" From nowhere that tenseness; nodded in empathy.

She wavered in the wind unsure. I watched her. Nothing seemed to change, but her face began to pulsate beams hyacinth ultramarine, gelled into its signaling, hollow the overarch instable slid to clone spindrifts lozengely angelgear through haven eon overlaps, indiscernably muddy gloamwhile filmy noir of nebulae glitterdrones dreaming infinities visibled enfolded in a spectrum she oscillated in radians tingling my [[nearness->mmemory]] never quite, majesty border of forevers unfathomed asymptotic to touch over terminal velocities of time, our poised within. Crying her tremble I trembled to share, we waited there, wishful neurasthenia. On my shoulder she leaned, wished I more resilient a counterbalance, but so many topplings, markers of the days. Continuous of carved and carved never nonmorphous deadens us to pursual, contemplation of her cut to sculpted this agony leadened me to usurpal yearner, delirious in the din of her bellicose anguish to a listener I could not faux, crush of rivers rushed together choked ushered the jounce of fate to fray, her laid before yellowing light lassitude. Together we could bide centuries without once yielding to condepretend, but centuries pass, us not in them. Plinth she ushered the gauche to prayswirl dollops of color and contagion of she inasmuch me as admit, nobody needs you functional overcast of accumulation into being loathed, our acids mutally morphing. We settled into regrets coagulated from the decay of the will to in formative. Outlasted by the crescive wane she evolt brimmed blastland wastes to bedraggle the heat's percolate. "Isn't it strange, isn't it awful we cease to cry, like there comes a point where our body can no longer hold it, we dry out, we even feel relieved, vomited ourselves compliant? We wish some part of us was eternal, piercing grief never to cease primal cry the universe, but homeostasis neutralizes us, we salt, nothing of us proves strong enough to last. Every emotion, even happiness, even, even, others, they, don't they, Emnin, just stagnate until we speak of them as we do stories? Maybe so stories are certain capacities we lose but preserve. Legends dream how we in the morass cannot, have forgot. Hate myself for it sure, incompletion that tingles down to your bones where they dormant, biding until suddenly your knees [[break->mpain]] beneath you, crawling on the earth unable to reason, or so I have to hope, that not crying isn't just another death, one more way the gyre overcomes all color, every care. Our bonds lost to the nadir, unbound to floating truly free, nowhere to go." I nodded, kept feeling like my nodding would lead to speaking, but my throat choked, simply could offer presence, which is never enough.

Lugubrious heatwaves from homes blotted us bumblewheel catherines bleedly drizzledrenching listless in streets sundials of unpassing. Tongue loll gulped down lilts to ruminate. Like pinned moth wings we sepairly bothed to panoply, selves slashed ragged to moodfield hued rampage afters, so the humidity assailed viscous vicious, swelterclenched clumps of lumps of luminous sweat. Sugarthroat caked brown to vocal gravel gleared my ruephsody unspeakably, like any thought to offer would beetle buzz, but she stared at darkness swallowed the ceiling so far aloof I afraided to also, any falter to dwell where moored mutated grumbles to mumbles to maybe an irruptive to the mood but so be it, so dream it, seen me not where but whence. "You ever um, have you've it ever where somebody says something about you, and you want to say that it's totally wrong, but actually it's you that's wrong, both in the having crafted the simulacrum but also the simulacrum contains your hollow, you actually resound inside?" "Yes I, absolutely," Imeni smiling her shocked to share her wept at nights. "I've been having it my whole life, like sometimes I felt like I wasn't actually at the core anything, but responding to stimuli, some kind of lizard that would simply in the sun bask weren't it for compulsions and compellsions." "Basking just so, lo?" Gesturing at our simmersions. "Eheh exactly, you collapse me lizardly, aren't you proud to be so blank?" "That the next simulacrum I've got to adopt? Fair shot, jealoused the lizards their simply along to along." "Yeah, it's a good one, better than some I've had. Weird isn't it some goes when you're causal of opposites that nevertheless near you, uncanny mirrorwarp, like who is that I can't deny? I've been some way to say is how they calculated gaze response my indefatigable eluse. Trying to squirm out of their you're got such an eviscerative wit or whatever worthless they select to smother me known." "Why not true it, wouldn't it be delicious good to wield a wit eviscerative, sardonic someone to offalgush? Let them literal when they graven mutter you've [[wounded->mpain]] me, wouldn't that account you?" "Don't know I've enough fantasy violence, by the end there actually commiserated with the fantasy victim." "Oh, I always comiserate, why not offload your miseries?" "You've such an eviscerative wit, Emnin! What if Jaufr overheard the state you're in, had to explain humor to him?" "He'd comiserate surely, he's always trying to share miseries, thinks we can communal suffering to a low hum."

Select a chapter to read. Click [[here->mtitle]] to return to the title. =|= [[Chapter I->mstart1]] [[Chapter V->mstart5]] [[Chapter IX->mstart9]] [[Chapter XIII->mstart13]] [[Chapter XVII->mstart17]] [[Chapter XXI->mstart21]] [[Chapter XXV->mstart25]] =|= [[Chapter II->mstart2]] [[Chapter VI->mstart6]] [[Chapter X->mstart10]] [[Chapter XIV->mstart14]] [[Chapter XVIII->mstart18]] [[Chapter XXII->mstart22]] [[Chapter XXVI->mstart26]] =|= [[Chapter III->mstart3]] [[Chapter VII->mstart7]] [[Chapter XI->mstart11]] [[Chapter XV->mstart15]] [[Chapter XIX->mstart19]] [[Chapter XXIII->mstart23]] [[Chapter XXVII->mstart27]] =|= [[Chapter IV->mstart4]] [[Chapter VIII->mstart8]] [[Chapter XII->mstart12]] [[Chapter XVI->mstart16]] [[Chapter XX->mstart20]] [[Chapter XXIV->mstart24]] |==|

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter VII''] --- Ecru constellative motionblurs signature flourished the growing gulf filmgrain torn on my iris spill. [[Erscheinung->merscheinung]] sung semblance from minaret unsleep stream starry slung the ombre caramelly across dappled apertures of consciousness. Neither where nor here anchored my unsure to stimulus. [[Quest->mquest]] compulsion to exist frayed in the fuzz of a fracturing [[muzzling->mmuzzling]], soaksocket whey. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Mother, did you see these stars in the dark in which you dreamweaved worlds? Can I not in my sunken before them silken asame? Aloud, almost in prayer, let myself fall shut: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Delaya esero so, Yketczana amiya nlo, Nabyisi krali moya no..."] The soft thump of the water beating the boat; the rocking of steel; iron's groaning. Wan missives of a maudlin moon sparkled pale. Smell of the salt of the sea. The chill caress gentle in the aftermath; the feeling of flesh exposed in the open night; the muzzling fabric of my soft scarf. My chapped lips, cold reptilian scales refusing to shed. Footsteps. (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Kralyiski keilana nyo, Delaya yedama dyo, Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Yketczala esiro so."] Whirled to the Veda, Meluoi. "Byini Hevice Nyomi. Peculiar piece for a sailor to know." Shook her steps with the sibilance her tongue dressed the night with in elegant black silks. Shimmers of somehow once was shed their shells in her sashay through my skull, the echo, the [[echo->mecho2]], collapsing under the swelters of again and constant. Like being bored into by the earth's tongues to be so rattled. Her inquiry an indigo inferno in the lilac veil the jet night swayed, I winced away her phantom lock. Enigmas edged near with a juttering unsolved wake [[incanting->mincanting]] over the black water a depths bloom luminescent ultramarine, switch meaning shimmer magic. "Oh, I –" was there a sentence I didn't say? She smiled aloofly, little light particle nearly plush purple in the placeless whorl.

Grabbed into the din. "Leiru!" "Ey ah kid, here's come hey!" "Oi so's here, Leiru's here, boys, he'll do it sure, love to do it lah, he'll be great yeah!" Vasya grabbed me and became what this will wouldn't. Ungainly totter steps as imps slung meager crackles on a drone too low to protest. "Should've seen his rampage eh. What was it you said butchering poor Marko now? I'm the real warrior or some geskecz, absolute riot let me tell you, you ought to suck it out of him sometime." "I should," [[Volya->mvolya]]. "What, uh?" Scrunching into this. "What's happening?" "Oh, it's great, you'll –" "No man," [[Lomia->mlomia]], "has bested me in [[kabiknu->mkabiknu]]." "No one," Mojyi.

Roll round and round hurricane reigns, spun see every pass under an elusive space shadowcaster, believe in the people who linger and matter despite the stuck in this singulated prism [[diffrasion->mdiffrasion]], all along this path errant, why count the lamps on this cavern scattered, ruby beam illumination from a lost searcher tingling skin on damp rock in search of a moss to feed on as the tide tugs out into the open suffocation under evening's burgundy wane where wind wallows spill split its doppelganger emergence as glitter dancers upon the waves as watches the paused future basilisk uncoiling. How much do we miss in passing, how much do we live in the passing, what of us will go, who of us will know? The emptiness of sight sewn, what insights glisten beyond our edges end of this chest's storm? Airless quell, everything weary, [[heavy->mheavy]]. Too many wooden tubes in veins jammed weighed the arms, straw fingers. Sentinel lamplight billowing an esper across subsalient solids burnt ocher discontinued on cardinals eating my mood, the last vestige. Like a plain white mask waiting to be donned to hide appearance. The fear that everyone knows you, there is no worse fate.

Pose frozen to place in the path of a twice my size charging. Rumbling desecration in whose forewake nerves release from function, a shuteyed breath held submission, barreling over as snake and subject twined in mayhem his fists wailing hatesong, hit me, punch me, break my face to tear my head open, everything bleeding, blood drenching eyelids in shocked agony lakes. Infinite torment in half a minute's time. My twitching body lay cruel testament to his six out of seven, alive to barely spare me the seven. Years after I limped, still, the ways our bodies reconfigure through the collapses we introduce, wishing they wouldn't, begging them to accept this pain remalleation morph, but the ephemerality of everything, laying under torpidity's enclosure, night after night, no interlude, the ache as it drones to integration. I stared up at Lomia like a child envisions fever upon the ceiling. "[[Taiza->mtaiza]]!"

"Never, not once, not a single time, in all my years of fighting." Lomia. "Insane lah," Mojyi effused. "Should've seen him blast poor Denko, kid couldn't lift a finger again, smashed totally. I think he got someone to like smother him or so." "He the unbeaten beater," Yakacza danced in front of us. "He the killer unkillable! Who dares to doubt this shadow drowning us? Arrives any other goliath to gladiate? Throw your life with the gauge!" Lomia's battering ram knuckles bulged as he punched them together. "You're sure to not it though, but you ah, perhaps should, should've seen it," Vasya. "The way he just smashed Marko again and again…" "The child hasn't eaten in years," Lomia. "This really who the challenge?" Yakacza, palms up to the ceiling: "Tremble beneath this brutal benediction! Answer his agony you sacrifices!" "How sloshed is Yakacza?" I frowned. "The growling mountain, who can face it?" "Will you truly stand to fight," Lomia balked, "or are your balls as small as you?" "Ayah Leiru’s the nimble though, the, the, you've always got to think how, the…" Reikka unable to capture the thought. Muscles blending into other muscles bulging nigh tumorous... ragdoll to the floor and wait for him to kill me, for them to leave, for the laughter, anything this world will be. Traumathirsty grins. "You can do it, Leiru!" Mojyi called brightly. "You gotta hit him hard in the suplex. That's the trick, the suplex. Knocks it out of them." Knocks what out, the mercy? "Yeah ace, you just hit him hard, it's all there is to it! You’ve the nimble, you can so, like when he –" Reikka. "There's no way Leiru's gonna –" "[[Taiza->mtaiza]]!"

Red and green gauze. Faces melted, bodies melded into watercolor sloshes intermingling like raindrops on my skin... My fists felt weak. Lomia towered neutral beyond hateful, I couldn't reduce him, couldn't transfigure him from fiend to fever. What to say that isn't this [[punching->mdreamslush]]? "Leiru! The suplex! The suplex!" Punched pillows into Lomia, could feel it, couldn't see it, wasn't even certain of where I was. Soft violence singed my fists. "This is the warrior?" Volya aghast. "It's something," Vasya. Viciousness boundless, eternally punitivity, [[dreams->mdreams]] as soft as a [[silkscreen->msilkscreen]] torn... "Taiza!" Frantically counting details in the crooked nook teetering in hopes of finding a pore to bleed through, [[hyperalive->mhyperalive]] in hypnotic awareness of so much melted through, stagger sprung uncoiled to consequence in an antigasp dissipating over the we shared sterile. Lomia's lumbers thundered up the crowd orgiastic. Somnolently had they bidden the disappointment, the repose eyes that curate the immediately ungratifying, but as I stepped back whoops went up, expectations of the coming moment crackled into jeers, hollers, jostling fighting to see, here it comes, Lomia where there is no ceiling, hounding eclipse encroaching to glimpse in this fear spark mankind's rawest prophecy, blood and screams in cracking [[percussion->mpercussion]].

First fist, [[heard->mheard]] it as if at a distance, beholder shaken by black horizon mists silhouettes the same as the rest [[nonfeelthrough->msilkscreen]], couldn't the floor feel myself hit though tile tastes glooped cool against the coppery, had I been here for ages seemed almost the [[dreamslush->mdreamslush]], had this ill washed steel begotten me, had I crawled half from it in primal dawns never to break free? My head runny with the punch, the dank drip people shrunken and gnarled in my sideways yellowing fuzz –

Jaufr as a dream: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Nihilist perched upon graves, Bleak ponderer seated in sepulchers, King who raves in the ebony flame In praise of inlaid jade in porcelain naves, Saint of rust, priest of waste, tongue of the void, Savager of the inward self salience Which, broken, gnaws at the mundane chain That scutters the soul its skyward, Preside reborn in truth in Our bodies decaying, decrepit, husks hopeless, Votive you sit in prayer position While the vermin spit forth, A hand you raise to meet the filth As it befouls your antiholy, Raw carnage debased to a gyre gore, In you [[delve->mdreamslush]] with your scoff your howling, Iced tea the blood which fills your cannibal thirsts, Snide wit claws jackaling as you go out prowling To smother the bliss still [[subsisting->mheard]], Clockwork devil of the steady decay."] Nejani as a deadening: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Who sees in stars the falls of leaves? He who a scale to sight bereaves. Who from a moment meaning cleaves? One so stuffed with dreams he heaves. Which [[evulgars->mbroke]] [[ghast->mghosts]] banal? A dreamer's bloody alcohol. What sort laments a petty fall? One whose experience's small. How does a hope to hate arrive? It goes to where a people thrive. How does an optimist derive? His eyelids shut to all alive. Why did the Towers rise from sea? Our death has yet its apogee. Why am I filled with enmity? Because I'm stuck here with you tonight, Jaufrei."] What is truth? Who then is king?

"Halt, halt! What's all this then? Cease and assemble! Get up, you two!" One last sullen swipe at the head smashed me against the iron ground: everlasting second shrinking purgatory, clarity of corpse, pressure clambered up and strolled off to memory loss. Through raspberry prisms I watched Myeri's boots, heavy footfall tuned, duhm, duhm, duhm, to me. "Suppose you've lost then aye." Recombined to respond, but my tongue bled its words. "Pyevi, help him up will you." Foreign reaching through a hole in earth's geometry whispered. I wilted into its lift. Below, splatter piles quivering in a [[nausea->mnausea]] were awed by the unspeakably ancient reds misting my vision. I peered into the ordained chaos for a hint, for Jaufr, for cause, saw a pulsing cancer gray and sounding. "You alright?" Olyasz. I moaned. "Thought not. Well. Off to the line lor." He patted me on the back and carefully pushed me off to the mutedly cackling. "Sailors," Myeri raised his arm eraser, "a quest is a bond as sacred as any. Let us welcome these Veda into our inmost care, not simply as focals of our intensity beam but as beloved kinsmen. Tied so tightly together, there is no option but fraternity, brotherhood of the tensed arm. "Mighty Veda, chasers of the supreme work, before you is your loyal crew, syllables in the name you pronounce to eternity. Speak unto them, if your words must enact their sealed cause in this place." He led the Veda to us with a hand [[flourish->mflourish]]. A martial nod to Leiska. Myeri turned on his heel and snapped for Olyasz, and the two marched up the stairs. Alone with the Veda in the ensuing [[pointed->mpointed]] silence.

Punch [[broke->mbroke]] through my skull sent sweeping through the hull broke through to the bathysm [[roar->mroar]] chthonic, enormity darkness spilling in on every side until [[inkblot->minkblot]] drip I witnessed my sunkening slowly slip from a distance into fathomless. Crenellated [[shadow->mshadow]] of shadows jaws swallowed the [[fraught->mdisintegrate]], slowly will, eon decay [[drizzled->mnausea]] [[afterstorm->mheard]] prophetics. [[Ghosts->mghosts]] emerged from within my throat.

Scimitar winks its blade his pretending to grin as awaited he an [[excorative->mtaiza]] profundity for which I shall pity him, having waited so many times myself for it not to blear into the mull. Antagonisms, as a part of us, are unsatisfied.

Longer I live, less I can empathize, even as I believe always in the beauty of empathy, just somehow losing the [[capacity->mbroke]] to, harrowed free of identity I am willing to be blank, ego death thirsting, despise those who do not, even as I should not, as somehow their striving sanctifies my own dusks, yet I cannot but contempt, antienvy of the dead sneering at those still swallowing stagnant sunlight. No element of humanity is more important than physical pain, if we can just universalize absolute consciousness [[acidifying->minkblot]] affliction, then we'd need not empathize, every emotion equal. I want to punch them, punch Lomia with it, their reality, because I more than anything despise, years ago I could save myself from this fate, but it's too late, I can only in enervates relate. Because humans are anguish generators, we will render from utopia ululations, only maximization of pain grounds selves existential. Why fluff up clouds of despair when we can choke on coal in mines? Wouldn't we all be better off wracked with perpetual grief soulcrushing? Everyone who loves themselves needs to be beaten into prayer, then can I empathize. Why should anyone wish to [[endure->mdisintegrate]] the welter? Annihilate me in storm, then can I seaspray authenticity. I have no attachments, though I have attachments, I have so many attachments, I hate every attachment I have held, I want to hurt myself equivalent with my disgust for attachments, murder my [[dreamer->mdreamslush]] equal to correlative vector rips, hate anyone who chooses not selfmutilation. I have a [[broken->mscaryellows]] heart, this is my best quality, refuses mewling to wholes incapable of armament. The less time you spend on being alive, the more alive you are. Right? I'm not just phobically spewling against rain? I love that I am being [[destroyed->mpercussion]], this means that I am real, this means that when I vomit [[blood->mheard]] it will have meaning, I am gladly gaunt of all possibility, kill me, kill me, free me please. How can I kiss your feet pressing upon my throat, I need to feel alive.

Everything has to become worse. Every element of body must be broken. Disgust wretch maximum your mirrored, hate you, repulsive to the extent you exist. Lomia smashes through my face, thank you. Break me to the extent I exist. Human wretches oozing prides from [[spluttertoxics->mnausea]], hypocrites batholiths pustuling scarrilege surfaces. You would never identify with yourself if you were not imprisoned here without a choice, why should anyone, each of which you equally revulse? [[Blood->mheard]] in my mouth and throat. Eyesockets leaking. You're responsible for breaking your worthless into dissolvable parts. Those who identify as other than cosmic violence are absurd delusionals who ought to be slaughtered by cosmic violence. You can just see them, I cannot on account of the blood, but if I could then we can so easily just see how pathetic, how obviously childish, how like, if you could just break them, and they are violent, that's what they don't understand: their serenity is violence, any quiet is cull. Everything has to become worse. You should destroy anything that appears good, because you are being abused, it is drinking you. Everyone around you is trying to hurt you: I am being punched to death, quod erat demonstrandum. Once you annihilate every joy, finally you are wise, and no one will mock you, you will be praised until you find joy in that, then you will become contemptible, and they will crush you. Is that the phase I am in? I am being crushed, okay, excellent, everything has to become worse. Because [[Jaufr->mjaufr]] is dead and [[Kaiya->mghosts]] is dead, everything continues, everything has to become worse. I make things worse by existing. Not my removal will make things better, just worse, but that's okay, because everything has to become worse. You will be beaten and abused and that's okay because inevitable. Relax, let the torment overflow you equilibrium. If not worse, then no needfor memory, and if no persistence, why persist, why exist? Everything was better before is the guilt that engenders you. Humiliation and decay is your forward motion. Everything gnarls into heat distortion. Blinded by the ruby, you cannot sift discern, merely grope through the smoke for the angelic you fell.

Out from the formless surges return, Marko upon me again needling through my pores piercer wheedling into my brain fiercer stabbing, stabbing, lances stabbing, gasping through rubyflood, drowning on deluge abyssal. Shorn of personal, antagonism mere, him and I struggling to cling to survival dwindling... Ondecks Marko and I bobbed nightwatch, the blanket in turns, treasuring the remnants of one another's warmth. Stars steeped reflections in cobalt. Sleep shunted tumoring our napes. Eke of chattery teeth jangled our terse to converse. "Meant always as we do of our don'ts to apologize to my father for the way my youth wore out, how vicious I made it for no good, strange lor the impetus that fills us then, yet into it you fold straight beisza regardless better wisdoms trickolating in your mindfuzz, roared up every divide maximal, fought on every principle I could squeeze of his emaciated, for what, Leiru, for I couldn't not it felt so, not I hated, themated maybe, unsure ehh, soulhole bredripped in some contumacious? You've and Jaufr've cleped it somewise, no? You'll pass judgment for a wink aye?" "You always think so negative of, when as we're the ones trying to positively of all." "Yeah in your minds positive, it's own negative, but we'll leave off it, get back to my mood as primacy, won't sully the pour with naff about social uplift or how you phrase. What you've got to keep there Leiru is several times I did wheel down his shack to apologize, yet each time we'd get into a mode good enough each of us were surprised and blessed to cherish, just the thought then of in that delicate dredging up relics of crusted blood to wail recriminate, ludicrous yeah, stupid on the face of it, but the night would breeze, I'd leave, and in the afterafterglow simply as regret the chance lost, how many more would I get, until then it was answered, watching him dwindle down the same regret. I should have yeah in some neutral decide you won't deign to heavencast, but each time apology would've ruined the greater apology then forming, reconciliation, interconnection, what I'd have [[hurt->mheard]] in my wilder to griefs, and isn't that what I gave him, isn't that what he peaced to me final expressive? Sometimes the right answer just needs to shut up and dwell in the right way or so I've tried to fever defense me hence. You'd get a good lesson on it hey, if you'll learn from one as lowly as messy as me, not to break each precious serenity with apologies." Marko's ghoul I bashed back to the deep, sped out of its embrace wordlessly, laughsparkling to the [[surface->msurface]] this truth mistake.

Underwater echoed the canyon cry. Effervesces of [[conflicteds->mscaryellows]] deepening to torpid hazelos, aura chthonic. Swallowed deluge ablution. Blessed evecture, consecrate this absence abyssal beautiful, glaze the gapwhorl. In my positivation anguish I she oblates... Rolled Imeni her shoulders her push to stance I lagged. She steadied my totter. "Can't you lie in one place too long, you'll [[disintegrate->mdisintegrate]], as you see your legs lah. Gotta race or lose, better bury me in the first. Know your need ah? You're too settling, they could crash you in a fire and you'd conform." "Why not twin what you can't douse?" "Eah, there you go, perfect Emnin, I was worried you'd [[Jaufr->mjaufr]] and preach the fire positive or fever the fire else or who knows, but gem the negative, that's so you, isn't it, settling?" "Perhaps cherish me anchor." "Oh maybe so, is that what you do, moor me? Yes, beautiful concept, let's not litter it with disparities. Shall we say you've fixed me? I'd love to be fixed, complete to a point, yet so scattered I remain, wakeful laps upon me doppelganger to unsettle free in flights of phantasmy to wreathe wraiths bullion of gyre center, [[echt->mecht]] ecchymoses of dread seethe, bloodpainted heavings tainted. Who can I assert in thence? Is that why so desperate am my subterfuge to be anchored answered? I'm not sure, there do we [[touch->msurface]], certainty of placed anguish of sky."

Ushered from hadean hymn uplift surged me [[senseward->msurface]] shocked split upon a direplume Jaufr radiant with romanticisms sizzling golden illumined the dark dahlia intermixture, immelmanned beneath its noval rush, swaddled into depthscrush as he sun seemed. Moebius closed throatloop moaned the begging to him or to who held this strewn tenuously too close to truth to through. Issued from late envenom cusped lips urged mess and skewered his lit within a quiet room [[Jaufr->mjaufr]] salient with romanticisms bristling emboldened, bloomruined, spark magnolia effervesce tincture. Hurt and hope plied his brows their rowing. His throat bled its voice voluptuous. Near him I half knelt half cowered in sofadive, his anklet unjangled. Up rose the imperious he out peered; peering out from his shadow how he dwindled into them querulous, shuddery frantic with force that built but not displayed. I loved him nurture tortured, hated him forceward, how we shatter upon impacts. Worse than his brokens I already before.

Simmer of water to welcome vellumed her sallow from sorrow to seep inside my sighs. Kaiya like a lightning dissolved to lighting velveted the late. "I've you know been thinking a lot about Tasyumi recently, like she used to say we needn't fear what every person prior has already endured, world has yet to break of their sorrow, how much worse can we make it? Wisdom in there, isn't there, or did I imagine it?" "There's [[wisdom->mheard]] where you imagine." "Aww Emnin, cheers to that, though I suppose it wasn't my imagine but hers. She had lots of sayings tucked away, that's what I miss most, all her treasures she chose not yet not ever to share, not my needing them, but their not being there, on this earth, in her. "I was, it was, like the first voyage I ever went, maybe you remember, you waved me disembark, I'd tied together with Tasyumi, and nights prior I'd an anxiety vaunt, convinced I don't know I was going to die, and why not, plausible, and when you're young you fear death since you've yet mustered enough to deeper terror of one year more, but I was bawling about how I was no longer a child, how now I'd be out on voyages, this was the first and final change of our lives, from Tower to sea, and she said, she had this smile, you know the one, so beautiful about her she'd a smile I can say and you frisson, she nodded at me and gestured, the time given to us is most precious when taken, now that it has been taken, you have for your remaining strife sapphire deeper of tears. It's been true for all my time, any finality cherished I've in nights sobbed through." "Not so sure I've treasured any prior to psalm entomb." "But that's the beauty, not for me a youth to reminisce, but enough [[ghosts->mroar]] percolate the [[membrane->msurface]] to dreamworld rainshimmer prism alterity perfect. I don't in a moment have to be alive to love it from afar. All my yesterdays are enough, even if no today allays."

Regain the surface and riot your immiscibles dissimulated, nondevised uninvade to normalized. Filtered through what reality will admit contiguous, inviolate ordainment. Splashlight sparkles tease phantom flanges of fade violets. All gone but placed, live as I'm prisoned. This is what must resolve; you cannot dissolve and believe; how do I perform the one unentangling the other? In accounted one, not self before infinity the other damned? Yet which [[music->mstart8]] slithers through punctures in logics, the dayconstrict contours perforated to atrium which dance? Can there be a body bearing not soulbeen burying?

"Hold it hey, you're killing him!" Voiceness nonhere. "What's it proper to you eh?" Volya. "I thought killing was the point," Mojyi. "Culpate yourself to the Captain shall you wish, drunken louts. Here come, Leiru, I've got you." Mariena, ah... "But who shall -" Lomia. "Bleat yourself to dregs will you, you'll par." Heft left my frame, dizzy with [[scaryellows->mscaryellows]] lipidly bloatfloatfreely, mulch dizzywhorl kaleidoscopic of dragged. Inching across slimetrails unseen unspoken. Touch, how it [[sinks->minkblot]] your lungs. "Can't you be keeping up fights, you're losing losing gracefully." Nodded with the slap shuffle of stumbling into and out of her shoulder blindly. [[Nausea->mnausea]] streams of trailing lights bramble shapes cyclone. Uncertain where I dropped head spinning into silkthread unweaves...

Gloom awaken to correlated space to place to who is traced within, she radiated dark creams, reposed forest sigh stresser of storm to come suppressed by suddenly chillprickling sublimity of serene through shadowcrash. Systems of brace her dreamily soma silksleeves brushing the autumnals to smoothly silvery shush, slow closed my throat clade in her unspoken drownmirror kin, [[subsurface->msubsurface]] scatter of her anomalous dipole slip from moments to inexplicable additionals, elusion drives of nonprismable perfect I groaned in depths to bubble slip the border, emerge merged, can I as her [[affluxion->maffluxion]] the accretion beam porcelains noval to refresh the sprung to blossom scatters [[paletted->mpaletted]] surface precious. Tried to crawl from my bed in shame to be in the same bay as her, but every outside is tinged with blood, all I can hear moan subtonal phantom from woodcreaks and metalquakes is Kaiya, is Jaufr, wish to kiss their deathshadows prayer for any penance deliverance, as I cannot in faith approach this umbral Imeni of majesty denied urme, shell distortion of her ensorcell, [[afterbirth->mafterbirth]] of her vivacity spell. Glossary unspaken disformulated erases my gracesque grotesques insin he, glaciated stark themes in pose scarshy fester of bornshriek [[sonnentest->msonnentest]]. Apologia fleisch in scaryellows dappling in vain traceries of withins she gleamed elevia over my evaricate [[vitiate->mvitiate]] vitreously inculcantate, despair prevericate deconsecrated deconstrued constructed wound of her wound.

Batter of my brain sizzles in oils. Shunt vitreous from the sclera to see. Gags as a sewn clump of hands gropedig their way pokepast my tongue threaded to my throat twining stems innerly esophaguscene, punching me from inside, Lomia's, he's, Yeska, I've - Soothe of no has to pulps up to pillowed, dazy pinwheeling strain dizzy to eyelids shut shuntsighed, sough of the westerly whisperies cloudly intermixing. Lychee throatblood sucked warms the coughs. Intraveneously lithified lithium, stone cold skin slag of crawling capillary. Dermal malaise mollified to marrow tensed morose. Illend jolts litter ravines of veinvines. Dig deeper heave to, to, held in my gross... "You're getting through it yeah, don't worry it, you're braced, there you go." Twinge through glump tears shaken onto flushed cheeks canted semirefusal to be seen or spoken to, but she steeled the reinforce as my inability mounted, into it relented not by will but by need. Briefly courage to look up at Mariena's filmy distance that depressed me back into bed. Lose below wilted. No, you have to focalizer, integrate your gutted. "Thank you for the, for..." "You sound so surprised that I'm not going to [[let->mlet]] you [[die->mdie]]."

Like I did with Kaiya! She's, ah, she hates me and should, Kaiya, Kaiya I'm so sorry, eah, I killed her, I let her die, Kaiya's gone, Kaiya, I'm so sorry, I love you Kaiya, you've meant so much, and I, oh gods, I have to wake up every day as having killed Kaiya, how is that, why not let me die, no, she's not letting me die to torture me, must smother my, no, shut up, focalizer, wallow cannot and will not, or what am I supposed to do, how do I make anything matter now, not that it has before, but there must, some strange that's effective, recombinatory, skews the world intentional, crucifies me upon it. Desperate to hope to hate in accordance with hope. I let Kaiya die, Kaiya, the kindest, who's ever done me a good turn, gone, because I, and even in guilt I feel selfish, like it should be the overwhelming bereavement of no Kaiya that guts me, but overplaying it is this guilt for my role in her gone, refocus on I, as if even in grief I am not good enough to love. How can I mourn you correctly without refusing to be brutalized its bearer? Is there some truth, you would have known it, you've a secret to each treasure that eludes my bumbling violence and bile. Mariena should hate me, I want her to punch my teeth out, she should rip me from this bed and finish what Lomia, that's, why she's saved me from him, she deserves it, yes, I submit entirely, please kill me, punch me into Kaiya's [[belowness->mghosts]] eviscerator, die between both of you, I'll pressurize precious it, swear it, swollen tick I demand burst, relent to penance, assume accursed. Or I don't know. I'm sorry. Tried to mumble my sorries, but Mariena [[gleared->mstart8]] a polite smile, whirled.

"I don't, do I deserve to?" "Do you not?" Her absolutely [[lunar->mstart8]]. "Cannot I so judge but how I've built a life with you in it somewhere, in places of joy, places of pain. Everyone is going, Emnin, but you will have to be here with me where they are not. Maybe so you'd imagine I've not the right to decide, as you did, savior, our [[Imeni->mscaryellows]], whose presence I also cherish. Shall we weep ourselves one? Your willingness to is a feat I attest you I do not our [[Jaufr->mjaufr]], whose absence I, also..."

"You let a [[night->mnight2]] convince you it could change the coming of the day," whispered Nyneme. "Isn't it beautiful, the idyll, to soak up the nocturne's gossamer glisten? In the purpling the possible where the whitehot sears sterile. I believed the same as you, because it is beautiful to. I let the tingling convince me there could be cherished truth, but we are idolmakers of the rubble, each chosen is a charred, our loves splashed against the still, then there is stillness. The ghost is gone for me, butterflies became bats. Cobweb trust troved below the loss, let it go, grasping… when despondence correspondence shares the tears rush, there empathy binds us to our brokenness, begging us not to forget the foundations to which we all in our days collapse. Each touch tells us what lies beyond us. I grew miasmic with this fume, drunk on this flaw, across the moors I wandered dressless and drenched, scratching at all the places I thought she might be buried until the wet soot accumulated and burst my fingernails to spray wildly the earth into my irises and there it scratches to cease where in my see she is buried. I needed what I would not and could never, what ordained outside the deified need, how might then I desecrate its domain, hate for the pining for the love for the serene sufficient. "[[Blankteeth->mblankteeth]] numbness fangs its forget, but the pressed heart remembers past percusses and how they echoed, echo. Seismic mouth to quake with words. Our regrets compress in our insight ingresses, tumors blocking feeling to new nuimbpulses, our scar tissue forms us. Do you ever feel, dear trust wist, hope's hollows as pining cracks numbs? Strain trust the day as sunbeams melt to lemony sloshes, swamp molasses light, terminal dream. Precious and precipitous the palpitations way, dazzlestepping on ripples in my grotto, echoing to the drowned, bring me the breathing dreams, but only the stillness stirs. Currents that carry us electric shortfuse to spark the nothing's light, little we in the overwhelming not. My skin melts and molten muscle I sludge to you sigh hollow screams as you stagger back appalled, it's okay, I know, I know, no more. Not like this we tearfully beg our better begetters but lie hollow in the. "Each choice to which we cling collapses our soul to this singulating sin we forsake holding onto other hells' hands, love lets us believe in unsignifying idols marred with makeshift faces passing fancies and enduring torments sculpt. All we believe lofty loses its heaven in whom we heap upon it. I loved Myneme, because that's who I wished would complete me; you, your love, who wanders ghostly your mental moors, your muddy mores, moves in a selene sashay, lunar serenity of a celestial glimmer in its space as rough and rocky as our own. Slapped up on the slathering need you needle through varicose veins slurpseeker of some okay, drink devil of the devastated in your revels. We seek the spirit glows that solve our spuming from wounds souls, so we moth to the counterbasking brilliance of better and not, bereaver of rotted known but going. Let yourself hurt. Let your love wilt to lacerations. That's, ah... and what more should we whisper to our wraiths but a sorry and faded scream?"

Wind whipping against my [[scarf->mscarf]] pale reminder of the tragedy I too must live, the subjective limitation focused by pain into a drenched communal heave, but buried so deep in this body subjunctive did not dysighpate into so much so could I seek through every spark, traumadense beneath the diffuse constrictors plying linoleum teeth with the poetry to see if in escaping my voice the ring still might me be whose sockets hummed an electric throb, each bubble of light an opal splitting my irises, knives flickers prickling the familiar heated buzz of this chest in its chime, chime too hollow and distant. The promise of different divisions in the encroaching ensealment beckons enslickens. Worldshare experience which in we are vestments, from how our fabrics cloak our priesthood underspoken can there be anything but likewise cries as we collapse sickly unknowers splotching our solid definitions as the cancerous mutations to tumor groups condenses us to identity singularities forever lost to the rest of the universal searching, endless and inevitable of those condemned to a space which separates them dots on a diagram, permuted instances of contagion [[particularization->mparticularization]], collated gaspers left to drown on an isle splinter, differ from us how, escape from us why, wish it where when you would not live the condemnation's point you must shall you not lose your body you cannot not be for we all will fall in a chasm carved for us illustratum datum nominality antisublime deliquesce submersion to drowner soakers, conjugal convoking damnation we ratify scurrying indenteds to intendeds in tension broiling uncleansed errgone humanity calcifications unworthy the form, deform me, deinform my quantum information, desystemic desisting styptically cryptic unto the bleak harrow wash so thus in the unknowning we can undo our owned, blessed pure anonymous. Naked before the crowd veiled in the mist beautiful impossible. Could I be, could I she, she looms over my uncertain, Meluoi…

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter VIII''] --- When most are we receptive to world emotives? Will the day bask us our fire, or in the [[lullaby->mlullaby]] moonlight glisten mysticism? When innate into writ domains payload pressured do reckon we carnage math curse of our coincidence, instantiated uncreative in a mire manifest, our circumstance, ensphering our positional modes, how do we unsite the code, inside glyphs lurks the inkling shadow our gesture of frame unto forever its beyond, gentle scrawl against the rain essence canvas stretched and billowing in soft gusts from the ocean freeze, tattered caress slimy without the residue on injury fragments woven in spiderweb fractals, sketch sense that beneath the bruise there is skin, this skein, my sein, our sign, ocean's endless rolling lulling me to simply being in the night... occluded beyond, wishing this sigh sought a softer warmly home. Will I ever outlive the present? How can I, the present is all I sea… only the seer retains honesty in stars before a subject, because only the seer sees the stars as seams in a tapestry. Wisdom creates its own need. From the deep how many faces peered, which way wrenched were, do the [[dead->mdead]] conjugate grins and frowns in a language made up of only pauses? Isn't everything merely sheer progression? Blearybearded the dayrage sags, deeds cease their thunder, only the image shockseared in soul. The relentlessly rushing present. Crushing [[accumulation->maccumulation]] of pasts. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Teminu coughed. Reikka shuffled her feet. A slug rolled in my throat. "Mlekh," in the garbled churning within I could not tell which Veda. Teminu coughed. "It is a pleasure to meet you, sailors. I am called Meluoi, and this is Seleph Berakh dyi Ayeri XII. [[Seleph->mseleph]] is his title, so, you can just call him that." Mojyi sighed the start of a pause. "I'm a Veda," Meluoi. "We both are. Do you, have any, questions? I know there's um, some misunderstandings." I fell to my knees. No one replied. "Um, how would you... as you know, or maybe know, we are chanters of the Literature… um, so, would you like to hear a poem?" "Sure," monotoned Mojyi. She sighed [[lovebled->mlovebled]] piety, terse assurance. "Have any of you a poem you know? I can recite to you from the Literature: Velia, Desenkh, Koani, anything you choose. Anything, even if you only remember a line of it, I can chant the whole thing." "What's the Literature?" Mojyi. Even the expected splashes. Headshake, the softest expression of abject horror. She brushed past the question.

Meluoi in the woethistle tenuously impressed like flutter and might she float free of our pattern plane. Flare of her gaze redolent of inks crimsons, dignity of the rune unspeakable. Behind her, Berakh, magisterial peace plush inset in a suspended pounce. Fell to my knees, hacked. "So you're magicians or?" Mojyi. "Bearers of the Literature we all, do you not know your names, have you forgotten how to hear?" Meluoi. "What?" Tyese. "Sing unto this convexity puzzlebox layershift enigmana, surrender yourselves to leyline..." "This as you're on then?" Volya. "Aye, give me as you've drunk, you've come to be a part of us, no?" Vasya. "To the possibility you awaken I dream, repossess this emboldened embodied to repursue polychromatic nataline, us ghost speakers of soul, reflections of genesis frays to sentience we immix immaculate conceptions to praise the sun its glaze through staineds, hark, the healing sings, listen unto your [[ancestors->massassins]], entwine into the ancient voice entwinned!" Dervish [[moonburst->mdaylight]] she blossom chanted.

Seleph Berakh cindered mercurial behind terse. Slightly anxious, kind of actually anxious, glances bounced off deflected from a nobility burly impassive as if a mountain sighed. Meluoi, thrice more interrupted, meandered into a stress pout pause, which Berakh, breaking through our unguesses, started spearfully chanting to soothe, and pierced upon his imperious voice, or so a baroque voice felt in our flatstarks, we jaggeded up furrowed scowls reproach to rebuff so we could glurl for breath beneath, and between the arrayed againsts aggravated shy just of actively aggressive Meluoi interposed with a startling pseudoserenity glossy atop our perilous to perilune psalmic [[intersume->mlovebled]].

"I've one for you, a meditation. You'll enjoy it, very popular. Lots of action, [[assassins->massassins]]..." I graggled wetly. Meluoi cleared her throat, her head bobbing gently, pristine her tone, sanguine, imperial clouds raising [[daylight->mdaylight]] scepters. "Vyeskh i Daminyi Vyekana, by Senenzu Nyeru Lyelta, translated by Meluoi dyi Ayeri VI." She struck up her hand and caught the illusive diamonds in the hard belowdecks lights. (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Veiled in cowls scowls Slashed by sulfur winds our faces split, Weathered in the wend, bent to the sand, Rusting bronze no visage pools together to Scars and aches, storm mimics sand melded Dissolved the resolve to surface our unsolved cause, Arias jagged gale spirits crash howl Splash landslides, inferno shards Glisten eruption crimson upon the waste and wrack, Velvet abyss seas endless to the dunes unbeyondless In whose evershadow wayward wavered we Riders riven in the rising heat to hell dazes, Sloshing definitions into labyrinthine subjections Intrusion marks murky in the swerving On the saddle, on the paddle, swimming, Sinking into the sun, rose glaze of circles intersecting Seresought the somewhere fraught, cracked dry to crumble All which held in its despair taut the seambleed blush -"] "Sounds like Omuo's slip," Volya cracked. Tyese erupted into laughter, followed mildly by others. Meluoi haltered, twitched, but too focused to fever the fraught, to confront the vines spreading through her chest, arrested into momentum of always and acidically always...

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Ascending, densing, intensing serration each sensation [[Sweating->mmarch]] pooling on blush and brow Brushed by bruised badlands hands, As spit boils burns our throats and cracked lips, Glinting mirrorlike the incantations Surging ocher dust insisted shimmered Great Vyekana, the City Dauntless, Ruby set in canyons candelabra, Lucre gleam in the squalid glare Bubbled heatdrench tar crooked stars Antishine emulsion of the melted unmeted, Grasp rasping to the smoke dust lungscarrers King bloodsoaking the ambition to in deathlands Survive strangulator verduressen, complexed mights Whose priest chants our nights our restless, Demon misery scribed the rune ruin moon, Baron of the carnage trail, murders dozens Caked under fingernails elongating, Tendrils despoiling the deepened, Purpling stippling poisons sipped from lips like lovers, Slipped nightmare nightshade nullifier, Abominata artist of death decadence, Grimoire poet of the vanish, howls harpist, Thief of soul to hordes, riches of wrecks, Dread fever fathom flashing in the fever spasms mortalia –"] "Where's the assassins?" Mojyi. "Said assassins were there, was it?" "These are the assassins! That's, aren't you listening? That's, I mean I'm, just, just hold still: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Across cities hundreds bled his hatename hounded, Confounded, compiles fortunes to adore his phantom to fell, Relish peace only in his final blankness They who his graves attend, assenting Unwrite this erasure, restore the once to endure Against the duress demon essences, quiver qualia Pulse signified in the missing incensing Thousands to bounties desperate weeping against the bleak, Demanding solace against the nocturne weaver, sol lace Glimmery daylightlush in crimson spilling sunrise Knife dawn teased his own teeth in puncture wounds Tattooed on the souls his holemaking slakes to lacks Collapsed in lapses in whose apses they pray what passes Memory from, the mending [[scission->mscission]] religion relives Of the austere as is in the caustic lossness Glossed solely by haunts and whispers –"] "So do they actually kill anyone?" Mojyi. "I, they're, you've, please, just wait! How can you possibly have this little patience, I, I, but the, aren't you even listening?" "Ignore him; keep going," Leiska rolled his wrist. Meluoi sighed, subtly on the inhale sighed, continued: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Glossed solely by haunts and whispers Rebounding our brains our bindings to service Bloodsworn to blood worn our uniform, One body borne out in the lorn Whose daydream shape we sweat create illusive Under the blaze even in the breathe unshadowed by Hoary crags which crumble low, so Scraped by searing desert crimson gales withered, Slaves the solar sultan madly lashes, laughing, These thinly stretched plateaus shredcragged, Sparse, sere, spare of water, sable of burnt –"] "Still sounds like Omuo's slip," Volya. "Shut silent you mongrel," Leiska. "You wear thinner you threadbare wit the repeat. I'd batter you respectful should your corpse not alike a joke. Go on with it, Veda, or whatever you're wanting."

Meluoi closed in the spoken tentative along the [[mistwrapped->mscission]] road: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Sweet the dream shunning sight and strain Strains the eyeblack leaks, torn in the onyx tears For crawling whimpering to those Who never will wear more than the world to kindness, The expression of never having known love, How many of us never will, This world we cling to oblivious our Oblivion soon to us all aside the Wornout ragman, aged by flames, like leather Laying along the sandy road, tinny purl dried, Pity envy the unvyed, cut vine, No more callous clasped the line, Nectar nepenthe nearing in our numbing sweatbuzzing Totters slowly closer, closer, each new step now nearing, Parapets denouncing the whetted sky a warcry Mangled muted in the echoes from cynic stones infinite in Brilliance distortion veiling the noonday sun Screaming razoredges to scrape the sterile to Bleed drown the tilted mesa's baked clay burgundy, Wine of the dyeing lament of lonely lands Listless in the echo endless drawling the wobbling Long to listless the little reply to empty sandhills Whose efflusions we choke to taste our faintness, Fainting, how pleasant to collapse beneath hooves crushed, But Aeska's hum jilts me the to phantoms fade, So scrub scrape I a rag across my cracked face Fuming dried blood testament to elder hells eternally forsaken Summoned in this march, this march we must, this marching –"] "When do they get to the city?" Mojyi. "Do they get there ever?" "What is the point of telling you this story if all you want it to do is end?" "Can't you just like cut most but the bits that matter?" Mazyu. "You know, where someone dies or whatever; it’s like, on and on about the weather already, aye it's hot, say that and save us the time yeah?" "Skip to the point," Teminu chimed. "I can't skip to the point, this is the point! The point of a poem is the tapestry, both the fabric and the image." "But like you're wasting all this time on –" "How can it be important if I’m bored?" Tyese. "Everybody shut up and let the Veda speak," Leiska. "Captain ordered we endure her poem, shut up and ship up." Meluoi muted to melancholy's edge to worse: (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["This marching Most human as lessened we despairing stray -"] "Nothing human about the [[march->mmarch]], least human I ever feel is up the march, most beast then." Avacz. "Yeah, you've never been ragged to crumble, I take it." Kostiye. "Why would you make a poem about marching if you're Veda?" Mojyi. "Vedas march, how else their down here?" Mazyu. "Don't you get on me again about -" "You're the one who's-" "I didn't make the poem, I, it's, I'm translating it, is, it was written by Senenzu -" Meluoi. "You didn't even make the poem, yet you're still trying to slop it up? That just makes it worse!" Avacz.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Under ergs and crags we lurch and stumble Flash of their formations, resin of impose, Incendiary shade sheds wasting in the waver Ashcasts coagulating cinders sin diaries read By the creak of gates rusted to collate Us caged symbolisms, subversion embolisms Enriting our synonyms structures new syllable inevitables Unveiled in murals sprawling along our ingress framed, Forlorn figures pursuant to pattern fracture Condemned unto the synapse gallows electrified by Congregation of the counted: crownless the king, Nobles nullface, knights nullcase, priests mullbraced, Peasants pleading, children headless, tumult Democratic, saints and cutthroats Fraternized on scaffold scenes amidst the Bloodthirsty howls we forewarn in our slinking past Armored guards in garish garbs, extravagance Vestments of their nudges, nods, leers, spears glinting As slogging tread we the trashlined bridge of cracking Clay as they, haughty, mutter rebuke to our births, Have they learned is due all these gates balk to place In the warp and clash of dizzy immensities, Roads ramming through arteries artilleries, Slanted spires ribboning enigmas Roiling confusion ricocheting Feverishly bouncing off to splatter Splash cements coagulating ceilings Stuffed in ashen reaches, viscous, smoky Slops, the ghoulish mirror haunting muddled Blots we blear crosseyed through streets improbable, Prisonous paradoxes geometries, Gravities of city densities Accumulating to noise to alloys of disparates Piled each atop another higher, Higher, ever high ascending unto the sunstruck embattle We bless with sacrifices to cleanse us once this night more, Not yet call us, pall us, crawling strange to the estrangening Genesis distension, the will to exinsist perseucyst –"] "Yeska, when's the curse work and night us," Mojyi. "Heard Veda envenom you with a word, never imagined this!" Sight of an assembling titan trickles sweat bleeding the continuous devil surfaced again to grin and recede, you could taste it in her semitears, inexorables on limbing limbs across the opaque horror, reminder that it is coming, nothing may ever stop it, someday life's arc will bend, the falter, the plummet, and when she crashed in the last terror splitsecond she would over her grinning never to recede see it, would while her mind devoured itself know only the loneliness of the unbrokenness of the thinness, twinpressed to unrelenting monochrome blight spuming from the wound where her temples were split by the battering mayhem, seething humanitied to the barren arid, spiritual ultimatum reciprocated by the shattering universe, Meluoi sighed not the joy shadow she had sought to cry in the [[lunar->mstart8]] afterglow of nowhere and nothing but instead solely the sciomplicity of quiet. "Enough then," Leiska clapped his hand on his thigh. "Mojyi, hark up to me ah, rutted in bilge you're. Everyone else, dismissed." "But you heard her, it was just nonsense!" "Go it ye scally." "But –" Leaned against the wall in the movement din resting one hand on my face I through cracks between my fingers spied Meluoi's regret beset in her stand, swivel, sober, march.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Sandwarped the tiltroad wanders Furrowed our furthered blindplash windslashed Phased to stagger equally blurting laughter Shunt of anger, is this the best the Baron wields, Invocating our taunt in scour scowls gates of Vyekana Obliterative rusts of nickel and tin corrugateds Huskhard in harshes crouched over our march Dared, dazed, deplacement seethes, Outrunner stalleds statued before inaccessible heaven Hidden behind sandstorm and swelter Shelterblunting our ambitions brutish, Mercenaries mere in our sludging beaten past Sneering guards shrugging the minuscule bribes, What little we offered to acquiesce the perception Vyekana stamps upon its entrants all, Equalizer compressor -"] "What’s a Vyekana hey?" Mojyi. "Like baelu or yego, meant to hurt your ears." Avacz. "What? Yego? A tree?" Meluoi. "What?" "What?" "Eh?" Tyese scratched his head. "Just, no, it’s please [[listen->mstart8]]… (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Standing strong before us ruthless City gaptooth grinning its endless brawler lanes Whichever to your ire to choose, But refusing both city and concept we challenged Vyekana its vying, our strangling mutual contempts -"] "So but yeah ho what’s a Vyekana?" "Ayy don’t to me need tell mutual contempts." Volya. "But it’s, do you, are you even paying attention?" Meluoi. "No, must of missed it why you’re even down here." Lomia. Struck into a surprising tearfully appalled expression, like she heard echo an elementary sadness suppressed, Meluoi shook her head, six and a half tanner stretched seconds, mumbled in a melodious tongue, and the Veda, halfheartedly encouraging something or other from the scene, departed, dragging my lucidity with. Stars painted on a whirling room.

We rocked as the boat rocked in our own opposing directions. Warmth skipped a golden line on the lolling sea. Lowering into the boat my head rested too softly on the pliant wood to ensure this was still living. Rotating the seleda bottle in the air to trace invisible pictures since this sky seemed so ready to sustain any self impressed with care. She drank from her own, on and on she drank it, there is no finish to a full moment, more into the endless now, Imeni eternal in the turning of the bottle. Like disappearing into where I really was the water claimed me, slush sluuhuhuuh as the water streamed by, and I smiled at the marine certain mystery staring placidly at this breath slowly burning stale, but never an answer, you live long enough and you only look. My jaw tightened. What would stare up at me when I sunk to the fathomless? Rippling a [[power->mstart8]] the ocean held but could not hold she gemmed under the light let in by her splash and smiling not into the purpling obscure but directly at this heart beating longing to meet in our palms, fingers slipping into one prayer, we together ask the sea this soul's pulse. I couldn't breathe for two reasons.

In an image's ichor memory pangs ripple sepia separations. Morning's deposition of the fragments we fear too much to constrain in darkness: incommensurate wincing absolutely commensurate to each remembered, terror that she who must have imagined some other specter languishing in this gangly skin confronted what real insect crawled from these pupae pupils, I am not here, I will never be here, but I desperately tricked you to thinking so, and somehow do I refuse misery in my ruincraft, how gross is the gold you cannot bear to hold for all its shamed shedding to waste as the real nothing that only ever was, this terrible, and the thought, here it is, buckle beneath you worthless, worthless... Death relinquishes all your longings for sanctuary and serenity in the seen as being, let go to a never, thenceforth none, and I, but what you wanted is a dream figure, someone who forces you in the exact desired sympathy, who beats your soul free, and in the mess of this mistaken leaves someone better than you less whole. You are the, I am the problem, yes, and so, and so. Never beautify what hurts to remember. A lifetime of unlost memories worth the pyre, so they cinders inside the yearning, which impossible I sought in, in, and seeker you inwards hiddening since misery was all you exorcised could give, thus you may morally receive nothing else, or else you are a thief, which truly, I know, I am.

"Just this once pretend your intelligence to my world hey Emnin, cast me unmold, not your trinket holy yeah? Nor chaste doll, not chaste, ruin it for you, can't take as isn't a mirror? Where will you put your prayer if not in this sanctity? Which, and let me tell you, it gets boring being pure and perfect, never getting to pretend to be human, it's sterile, nauseous, living out this abstraction your misery needs to project on someone else ah, was I nothing that you had to make me some thing? Never wanted me you, never! You're a child, you're so stupidly infantile, you have no idea how real people interact, how they should, exist together. People are supposed to, you, and I thought you loved me through my flaws, through, that, but it could never be my flaws because, I don't know what's wrong with you, you can't function in a world where I live, it's not me! I, I was so foolish to love you, Emnin, to think you meant you loved me and not, loved, loving, or, or I don't even know, after all this time I don't even really know, needed nurturing I guess, or whatever you're excavating from my supposedly worthless, not love, you know nothing of the, of, I wish I could, there were moments when it, the gears stopped sounding, we bathed in each other's illusions... geskecz! What is wrong with you? Those, the in between moments when I got to be down here on earth, when how I failed were as real as your failure to live up into our crude angelic, but you shutting up is not silence, it is the loudest, most obnoxious chatter I've ever, it's always a game, there's always a series of choices I have to whittle down, it's like, everything with you is tactics, there's no, no real moment, no actual just us, and there is, or is there a real you, huh? Obviously there's no me, but what about you, do you exist, or do we, or gods I, I just... I am so tired of trying to coax those moments out, those beautiful ones, I'm tired of dealing with you, with making you happy, in order to reach the you that heals us both... making you, and see, it's all, it's about trying to fit myself in your fantasies, and I did because, liked where we went, who doesn't need a little escapism to survive the prison, but I'll never be your generous perfection, not an angel with an ascendant invitation, and I don't want to be, I want to rest outside this body I apparently wield, all I want to be is me, which is not your narrow, precise answer, I want to be, and I know I'm not making sense, I know this isn't an argument! It isn't! But you know, that's what I want, to be this mess, to have you love this mess, but everything needs to be sorted with you, it's so nauseating. I can't, gods I, I can't! I, aahaa, can't, hate, you. Don't you see leh? But I don't but, talking to you when you're like this is like this awkward fuzz in my throat, I get this feeling that I'm being hollowed out by our genuines, and its, it's always there now because no one, literally no one is a good person I guess, even you two who fight so hard for your own freedom, you just turn around and steal mine, we're all animals incapable of living from the sun. You're a hypocrite, Emnin, the same as the rest, and I'm sick, I'm just sick of every single person in existence, most of all myself, most of all you!" Wasps in my arteries swarming, stinging, crawling teeming insect legs on my organs, sting, sting, sting, venom froth. Wasps crawled out of my eyes stinging. "Imeni, I –" "No, shut up to listening, Emnin! There's this worm inside you that's, it's always eating its way through everything, turns everything with you into some kinda, winding path like, have to try and swim along its intention while dodging flotsam trauma, in order that you'd... but I'm done being bandied about, I'm through with being as and not me, it's all just so gross, there is nothing on this planet that makes me feel as slimy as one of these nights with you, because you need what I can't give, and I need, need things too, that's what's so, I needed these moments we outshone the gridfixed, that's why I, you probably don't even know, you probably don't care! Oh gods. What is, no, I won't even ask, I don't want to know, but I hope you know I'm lost, depressed, that's why we fit together, is that I thought we were in it together, that our despair about the world could, from it forge a... we could've found something more than despair if you tried, but that to you is all it is, or all you have to stop it from being, because you're too afraid to deal with real things and real people, with a real woman, that's why you won't, because you'd have to face being you, and me being... I feel like I'm punching steel to wake, but you gag me back to the numb with purity never I wanted, never earned, certainly never needed. Just, just because you've the kindness, some perverse purity, maybe I did like that, in small ways that did not pound in my eyeballs with each crunch of added pressure, but that's all your virtues isn't it, blessings venomous, pearls putrid necklacing your witch impossibles, find a way to take a dream and make it sting, oh you're so the same and worse, Emnin, you godless slug, you and Jaufr are just like everyone else, and everything you've ever told me were lies, because it can’t be true, not in the way you said them, everything of you is lies, everything of everyone is lies, this planet is a ball of lies hurtling around more lies, you fancy yourself its gravitation I suppose, only bespeaks the ego its demon, hate it, you're as worthless as the Tower itself, no, I don't, it's not fair for you to look at me like that, like I'm the one who, who, that's all you've ever wanted, is superiority by which to haunt me, well you can't have it, you're worthless to me, and maybe, no, but I hope you find your answer somewhere, but you've lost whatever was here searching, not much maybe, but worth love, real love, love more than the shared misery you mistake it for. Why do you, ah! I hate the sight of you! No, I don't, I, I hate how the sight of you feels in me, I guess, or I..." [[Glass->mstart8]] this jumble to reflect the dizzy, barrier reflexives losing the form of words to sphinx her behind the wall she leaned upon. See the sin slithering out of my skin. Drown under my own spluttered consumption, let me be whatever beast ruled. "I hate everything," she said at last. "Most of all myself." Briars in every pore.

Everything gained is loss. What is held bleeds as one wrings what matters most. We are all trapped in our desires' viscera, my skin, a mail impervious to x falling in snapped shapes. Totality, what terror springs upon its pilgrims, is it not best to seek a single perfect second and winter eternity there? And yet we fill up the faulty ongoing. Hunt my formerality and ravage me, dump my scarred corpse in the water, assume my guise veins, live my life as this lingering simulacrum in search of the apex moment before ultimate decay, ultimate disgrace, I am not revealed to be who possesses me. Trapped by my own momentum a molten enshaming. Shortfuse forcer bundled broken on the cliff I could not beg summits from besensed for the moment the sun pierces briefly the great and gray to bask the fallen silent forever in split warmth until unto rainy ages time consigns the corpse. She whose name I would not wish to whisper lest she overhear my bent spine snapping, her close passage is the light by which this longing to thrust forth shoots rootless shoots through ribcage mine to slipping freedom, some foreign unseen where could I congeal again new fleshlies no longer lying in yesteryear filths. Anchors forestalling my mind its free flight, I opened my mouth to choke on squalls, to taste what presumes not death. "I wish humans were an endless track of fireflies," she lowered into the spacious dark, "small experience bursts painting gem patterns in the night. Can you imagine, incandescence as we are it? For five nights could I flutter this eon's feeling only then to live again some next eon's enchanted, onward to whatever next always as the same soul but never as the same stuck, grow and grow unfinitude discontinuously linear extenders, simply bloom, wither, die, bloom, wither, live. Emotional polyvalences assumed, sloughed; bodies learned, forgotten. Others would change with our changing, but you would trace each trail to every new form effortlessly, forever familiars cycling countless new agains, recognitions millennia separate in some fresh spring where all the lost is lost in the regaining of the immaculately reiterated which you greet like a lover, as a friend, for hundreds of times were they both, and once more all again in the start, the new. All the minuscule pieces that make up an individual would form seamlessly a selfsolving puzzle of what it meant and what it might still mean, what being will always still say, until, when we are forced to say goodbye, we grant what we never had to claim back all we have, all we… ah, maybe that's what I want to avoid, the hurting of all I want, just the lack of... but isn't there, isn't to keep, like to grasp at loves which weaken emaciates every embrace, we become lost, our waymarkers evaporate and the desert asserts itself alien on dulled horizons. You no longer know the road when the buildings about it collapse to reveal the trackless. You've been up high enough yeah to reach the empties, where it's, no wonder they breathe in new minds up there, the darkness accustoms you to stranger gradients. It's not that I wish I could never lose someone, because as firefly whirls we would, but that loss would never erase us, we would still feel a part of all of, all of... I watched them age, Emnin, my parents, saw them gray away from me, wrinkling with each new day we pretended routines, but routines are spirals, and you end up somewhere, somewhere you fray out to lose hold and loosen to the chaos. When we admit distance, whether or not we rolled out that expanse, the distance springs up within us, and we're stretched across a waste. Were we to cycle again to some start as every spiral slips us away, then might the helix canopy heavens above the fleeting. Where would we need to dwell in entwined courses? To what would pain amount were it so much smaller than us? We could let a scene bleed out and believe a body where we congeal... but do you know what I mean?" I nodded. She nodded back. My lips curled a commiserative grimace as her lips curled a graceful countenancing. We knew each other, and sometimes too we knew what each other meant. "Yeah, why's I like to say it to you is, and do you ever have this, why do we feel like we have to say everything perfect, isn't it equally poignant and true to trail out? Yet if they don't catch it, then you fear what leaks of their imperfect framings, when, ah, as long as this circle traces us back to ourselves..." In her echoing I reclined under so much [[undercurrent->mstart8]] darkness that no day could disturb this repose isolation. She leaned up to scratch the head I rested on her shins. "But this death we have to face, it isn't so bad, after all, that's what we were before this life, isn't that so much more peaceful? Think about all the suffering that wheeled by in the centuries before our births, then think of, in the midst of all that intensity, how little it mattered to our numbness. Nothing but honest emptiness. If that's what we have to return to, maybe I should just relax, let it come when it comes..." Peeling corpse slumping through unlit halls moaning, gnats gnawed the rotting flesh strips dangling, beckoned by a door chained shut I bent to stumble drones, do not force through, be where you are sealed, else might you speak your inexorable desiccation.

[[Lullaby->mstart8]] emerging through the floor: "I've only ever seen the one that's a, it's called a forest," she said in our last, "and the painting was really worn, canvas so frayed the details were smudged along rips, looked like a cyst, but there was in it uh, same magic misted through it as through dreams about places that longing translates, mystified and intoxicated by green flourishes of a lost vision, how wondrous would it be to leap through and range into whatever I could become so garlanded, and maybe whatever the continent was wasn't a beautiful thing, who's to judge the weight of the unreal, but the lingering phantom is precious precisely because the haunting heaves us harrowed in immersive loss of the unknowable. Wrestle shadows to miss the shading's touch, how wonderful it would be to feel a whole, alternate possibility… so sick of being confined in this Tower, even the ocean, how so poetic it is we only go upon it caged in boats, that's exactly who we are, people who are exactly up here, but I, don't you ever imagine it Emnin, don't you ever dream of racing through trees tasting blossoms on your tongue, can you imagine who you would be before a mountain? What if the winds threw you over the mountains? Howling through space, turquoise stars infinite gently dappling the land below, perhaps this skyward could accept our embrace as more than seamirror, dissipate us in its delear, guess through sparks mysterion more than this human baseness, we could, over a continent could we wander, truly wander..." "Used to my mother had this book had in it these illustrations where even without colors you could run your hand and maybe slip under the grooves, feel what it might be like to descend something more than just down, and adorning the images magisterial poems about groves and valleys and rivers, verse on the verge of what really was once pulling me into what I cannot contact as my mother read to me this place both the picture and a mind in it, guided by her voice to imaginations I had not yet been blessed to wild, emergent sensate electric over greengilt roams under steel blue blade kisscurves dovetailing a horizon, how I used to yearn frolicking in anything greengilt, can you imagine it, moving on something that is, of waking up and not having to face the reflective marine, but this greengilt, emerald to the touch holding up you and the sky sisters, siblings, expanse that neither sweeps nor submerges you so rest you in the brilliance assurance that this this world though you see it is isn't these two colors…" "Mm. I would've loved to have seen that book," one cheek shrunk on a fist lean. "You don't still have it?" "I don't have anything my mother had."

Hilt grin gossamer alluviates the tense tenuous to scream or kiss. Hidden inside his emotive as it brews, undefineds convecting about my aural tingling to ken, cannot quite, he shadowshifts to the lightless window. Mariena the other way reclines captured in from a beam tunneling through creaky the wooden beam. Shunted from both sears I speak, babbling into the black, until space unseams, drool floe of wall and tikrah spooling into my bubbling skin, slink back menaseh but slip into their swallowing foreboding, we watch shapeshear the hide to crystalline gleams puzzleboxing our source fractaline, Jaufr and Mariena rubies like blades. Sigh puncture: he relents as if his body breezed away. Cottony and coppery philter. Mariena emollient mulls the darksways to settle symbols. "Who woeworn are we on this earth to wield more?" Halfcried he to darkness. "Buckle [[loverslorn->mvitiate]] to surrender together?" She demurred. "Isn't this the [[victory->maffluxion]] we've been fighting for?"

"Humiliated yeah just out the door, like literally the second outside, swoosh, flooded into your skin the bareness of being, and how do you like smile off that, how do you look someone in the eye, go yeah hey we're real people let's have a conversation of concepts to conceptualize, how do you not swarm itchy on each inch until scratch bashful you barricade in a gutter, native at last?" Imeni. "Absolutely so, can't dream but that I'm [[ripped->minjury]] of semblance, cannot be seen ever. Just fathoming it, you know, the relief, makes you want to rip out every eyeball, slice off every ear, deskin everyone, oh gosh the sheer pure radiant joy of everyone without skin, just amazing perfect of universal acid [[dissolving->mdulled]] everything, and then you could -" "Ehyeh what are you on about Emnin?" "Oh, did I overgo? Sorry yes, humiliated in a gutter, let's dial back there." "No no, I overwent, I've never known a ledge not a leap, but you've gone to like dissolving skins in acid in like a single breath, can we take two or so to get there, or can you argue me down from the gutter line, like I thought I overwent but now I'm having to dial back, how's that fair? I'm supposed to enjoy you talking me back to reality, but you always dizzy it worse." "I thought we were kithing on the intensifier unique to us?" "Oh so now you're gonna guilt me the dial back too? That's my role too! You're stealing everything!" "Actually yeah I am guilting you the dial back, let's flounce ourselves beyond oblivion, we've only dissolved skins hey, let's get down to skulls too, so much bones and whatever beneath, I'll give that you." She smiled. How did I [[lose->mcherished]] that power?

Cannot you ever [[flinch->minjury]] from quest, entomb inside. Radiated ghost buries your perfected removal. Worship icon these nails scratch into the [[mud->mdulled]] before the rains, the swirling non genesis for afresh the fire. Creatures carefully apologies for the mistake, unbuilding better than entropy, therein justified the torment horror. Incarnated accidents heterodoxed to null. Focus vitality into imprinting erasure.

Exhaustion of events, inability to form presence in each one, increasingly anyone as they increase, contoured in creases of press and not press back, wrinkling in the rippling. Too much to sift, quilted in, wrinkled, wrinkled. Maintainer of composure, the composite. [[Dulled->mdulled]] and, briefly, before sleep, sensitive. Wrung worldmist wordless, no prayer, pumice skin. Eyeballs than the throat drier. Nod into expecteds, stifled persister. I am who you need to shut up and be along. No, I keep slipping, horror surges free of my bundled shut, [[eviscerates->minjury]] all truth, each [[cherished->mcherished]]...

Having found it in the place beneath the [[mess->minjury]] we made, [[returning->minjury]] it to her by the byways lately I had [[haunted->mscaryellows]], this cache hidden she caressed to open, revealing a gleam, that spark in her eyes which crackled our hearth.

Muddle muted to pure flow sickened to sludge in waste days junksweet. Quell of curious, bred to nerveless, ultimated in service, bleed me to wreckage useful. I want to be useful, but this [[vile->mvile]] contagious [[viscous->mviscous]]...

"Yeska, Volya, off of him you waster," Mylecz. "Better yourselves than this eh." Listlessly turning to see Volya clung to a whirling Doubo, Volya whirled off. Mylecz pulled him up. "What're you blasting on about?" Volya slapped Mylecz's hand off his shoulder. "Get off. We're doing a bit here." "You're scaring Doubo, you're hurting him, I mean look at him, he's panicked!" "Just the ship shimmies aye. Nobody's getting hurt." Vasya jumped on Doubo's shoulders, and they whirled, they crashed. Vasya flung off. "Five seconds!" Mojyi. "Boka, was barely four!" Volya turned toward them. "Listen to him!" Mylecz. "He's convulsing with panic, probably thinks he's verging the end there." "He's thinking in ways we can't even fathom hey," Volya poured himself rum. "What words would he even think with? How are we to express his abyss?" "What are you talking about? Look at him, he's terrified!" "Terrified is the most alive, as they should say. Personally, I think he loves it." "You know that's not true!" "Who knows what's not true?" Vasya jumped on again. Vasya crashed into the table. "Seven seconds!" Mojyi. "Baelu Vasya, you [[broke->mbroke2]] my mug!" Avacz. "So my spine tells me," Vaysa rolled off the table. Avacz scowled, rubbing the dark stains fresh trickling through his shirt. Vasya leaned his head against the counter. "You're lucky you didn't break, yego," Avacz. "Is that not what this is?" "Not to the extent you should be, kyauska." "Be a better [[story->mstory]] if it was."

Morning sheets frigidness clung to me [[clammy->mskins]], how so wetted my demeanor was in this cling. I an incarceration of ghosts unfreeable. Mausoleums entombing bitter icons of a forever concurrent past marred my features in a frown midnight rocking, halter cleave crushing the chest claim me. Muttering curses to myself. The teasteeps coated my teeth like filth. Still, still, still, what is worse than waiting for what has already happened to resume not completing? I want to say so much locked deep in this vault that perhaps in the daymotes would melt instantly, deep earth vapors never meant for the sea spray. This unsaid cleanless needing forcing the hope to burst in a second of the invisible borders shattering in one unison tongue as everything I am and have to be collides to sink back to the stasisiation which imprisons longing inside its rarity. Our insides were never meant for their [[monstrosity->mvile]] mirror, is why they stare back at the [[beating->mtaiza]] begging them.

"Isn't that genius? Isn't that the lesson here?" Volya grinned to Mylecz, before turning to Vasya. "Shattering the mug isn't half bad. When we're down to sipping from our palms, we'll surely chat that up." "Could've been better, could've gotten my tongue wrapped around the ceiling and hung myself. Who's next?" "Nobody's next, this is a sick game," Mylecz. "You're all sick." "What's your obsession?" Volya. "Just think it's barbaric," palms up as if who couldn't possibly know. "What's barbaric, the anxieties you impute through condescension? How do you know Doubo's not tipped to bliss? Here we are in a touch not bending him to work aye, you lot love to pious them into a shrine like they need less to live. Let him have this game." "Your game, you mean! Listen to him, there's your, that's your argument!" "Nah, that's ecstasy that, trust me, I've heard the like. How do you know which noise is which? I thought you would be in on this, Mylecz. We're beautifying the brittle or so. But like you're bawling as if we just waltzed in in his [[skins->mskins]]." "But you're –" "I'm not nothing. You're as a sharp as a ball, so I'll kick your points. We're playing with the prison barb, as is our lot. We're all friends down here." "Nobody screams like that because of their friends!" "Sounds like you keep the wrong [[company->mlomia]]."

"What a thrill, what grandeur," Reikka. "I watched the whole thing through a window, and it was like I was there in the midst of all that feeling, ah, and the creature was so magnificent, so regal! It deserved better than us, I think, ought to have fought slayers of a grander age. An ancient being full of fascinating primordial life savaged by us! We shouldn't have stabbed it but framed it. And those parasites, kenkh! How amazing, how grotesque! They're all so horrible. They gave me one of the corpses, and I cut into it, and I've never seen something so blue! Nothing but blue organs, blue blood, blue bile, and then there's these parts that who could ever know what they're for or why they're jammed in such weird ways like some upside down maze. Goodness, how frightening it was, I loved soaking in all that emotion! I don't know how they did it, frankly, fighting it. I think I would have wept joyous to eternity had one of those [[charged->mtaiza]] me. What else could you do, with all those teeth?" How so much I wanted to be [[punched->minjury]]. "You were up there, Leiru, weren't you? How was it? It must have been terrifying. You must have felt so alive!" Stomach pressed on a smoothly shaped but rustcrusted support as hands flake the rough off shimmying six, seven, eight times your height from the ground, no roll under, let go, fall to the foam, relish the pleasure of falling without the pain of hitting, dwell between states cycling between each other, lost in ascendancy from earth to find it battered bettered, whetherless you cast light in such space, shedder amazer. "Ey Leiru?" "Hm?" No effort to conceal my disconnection. "Teminu? Did you see what happened to him?" "No." "You didn't see anything, like at all?" "No." "But weren't you up in the nest? How could you not see?" "I fell. I was busy. I wasn't looking." "You fell from the mast? Oh! I didn't know!" Reikka surely seeing me somewhere on the ceiling. "High above, at the nudge of the jegu, down low? My! That must have been exhilarating! Tumble stumble wibbly wobbly all spill splash splish crash splotch ash, ah, amazing!" I wish I were empty, things could resound here without my ever noticing, but I am forced to be definite, and so here it is, my bitterness, my loathing. Because I am here I bristle. But what fury does you good against flies? They're all as aimlessly wandering as you, but she bothers me with it, forces me into words when I will not, why can she not simply hear the thumping shadow engines? "Surely you can tell us the -" "No."

Volya staggered out the seedy into my despair directly, arm around whose eyes were not where. "And so I say, if you're looking, I'll show you the rock to hit bottom hey." "Ey Volya! Found anything in there?" Jaufr balked. "Ah, Jaufr, speaking of huge tits." "You're an animal." "Yeah, absolutely. What, doesn't Mariena's got your big ideas, yeah? Dealing with the huge issues, tackling face first the most massive concepts you can get your hands on. Nah it's good, I get it, busy building up your mammaries to tower over the rest legs and see, same page mate." I raised some objection, but Volya knew too what I least liked hearing. "Ah and did you drag your doll here to witness your prowess, in debate I mean, ey Leiru, yeah hey, just because you're only used to sucking your thumb doesn't mean the rest of us must be so restricted. Oh, no one's told you? This how it is between us all, I'm sure something squirms down there to prove me. Quit your precious and own up. What's wrong with showing bodies the reverence they deserve?" He lolled his head to his left. "Am I right, eh, Evyi was it? I'm right, aren't I? You can say it. It won't make me vain, might work up some." What right did I have to rankle as I did? Impish blade smiles carving sick pleasures, was this the world, eyah! Music convulsed desperate to keep attached, but rifts in my franticness scattershot the notes as steamvents gushing noise, two ships sliding past each other in a narrow corridor, steel scraping steel making dark marks, and out from the water rose skinless goliaths horned and manyarmed, shambling colossi lurching closer each earthquake step, opening in unison their mouths to suck the sun's light, leaving nothing, leaving ourselves in a pit of our own puzzled, cold, bestial… indiscernible growling and a darkness rising in my throat submerging my brain in a gurgling ooze rapped my skull with suggestions to claw out Volya's eyes and shout into the sockets, it must be, must be that you're impossible in my feeling that I have to, have to believe is as real as the energy it conduits in indigo foam, you're wrong in your insipidity, you don't know me, who I can be, I believe I can, if I were real would I be so this way, but I'm not real, don't trace the clashes to a confluence, in the trackless unable to crossroads justify. Would I want to be held if I could want to be held? But say it then, you weasel, force past the held into the grunting disgusting, but why disgusting, what's wrong with it, what's wrong with me that makes it wrong, but what's right with them that makes it right, do they feel themselves actual, people to people being, do they awake to a correct and continue therefrom? Wilted wormbeing wishing this thing could move as they do, that's it, simply jealousy. No, and why are you arguing for him? Why not have your own opinion for once, you filth freak? And think of [[Imeni->mscaryellows]], in how we were, when we were, it was her and nothing but her I loved, is that so weird, so wrong? Yes, absolutely, because none of you exists in the form she needed, wanted, did she not say so? Why were you not who she needed you to be? What's wrong with you that you need her but not what she needs? Okay but unequal, sure, raw admiration, too much of it, yes, I bend beneath that sickle's judgment, but surely I loved her in the way one loves, too much and for a few wrong reasons, why then should they laugh at me for saying I knew her mystically, I believed in our, our aether, or, but did I, or if I did, so what, what's wrong with it, isn't it true we become more through the elevating otheralso? In love we transmute to angel our gaps. I know that sounds unbearably embarrassing, but we are unbearably embarrassing in our deepest parts, grounded anew as we converge to a territory, only paired with nearness are we a separation, roam no longer as we are placed within borders, then can we explore the river lines united: others bring something out of us by changing the apertures through which we express ourselves, and in the new dilation we feel different, think different, act anew with opening possibilities, and isn't that what I wanted more than anything, was to open into her possibility different, be heard how the words echoed your hollow in her heart? We remember a night not for what we said but for how we spoke. In how my mind opened I learned the places in myself that could love, gave her freely these fruits. Is that so wrong? Let simply what was wrong be wrong without killing me to a curse, I beg you, or I don't, I'm, maybe I deserve it, is it responsibility I'm shirking, or, but why can't I love her and not have to eat her like some demon, why am I wrong simply for being wrong? Well but I am willing to accept the hate I deserve for making her some intangible perfection, but she was still that, touchless, not everything must dissolve, I refused to enter skin where I did not belong, must I, or maybe certainly I must, that is why I have been built this way, ahah! Would the moon rupture forth from waterfall engulfing caverns to eclipse me? Sign the beauty like a canvas you desecrator appropriator, beauty culls us to owning, beauty is everything wrong with us, the impossible remove sends us hounding into its gaps with smudge names. Beauty is beauty, physical, beauty is the accident in which all purposes reside, you may have admired her, but she was beautiful to be admired, not the harsh stone sells you such a passion. Is not sex, that pathetic whatever [[punching->minjury]] in our skulls, some desperate physical pull to arrive beyond beauty's pale, marble motive motion, whether or not you actually lower to its consumption does not matter, because dilution of the pure essence into a possessable sustenance speaks all marked by its wretched wilting into the thirsting as gross as the rest, this kiss not a kinship kingship. I know that's not right, but it feels right, because this feels wrong. Maybe some people can love through some tangible equanimity, but in my cancerous bloat I regret each touch, I resent each feeling of a feeling. I'm not a real person, and so I can't follow through to real love, but why must such a worthless thing as sex be real love, why would anyone want this fetid copulation, what good is it to thrash together the damnation of some new soul? Sex between men and women should be banned, only men and men, women and women, myself and the void, then at least it would mean something. Embodied in these bodies weeping together this container violence. I refuse to be ensconced by whatever nature has stained affixed upon the surface of an elemental irreducible, and maybe sex would happen as it apparently must, as it destroys everything beautiful about you until you submit to degraded factual, worship your impurity lord, if you cannot force your conform you are some kind of horrendous failure beast to be whipped compliant, and ahaha of course I am not such a wretch, I am a totally functional perfect human creature beast, I love to have the intercourses, because it is in no way a humiliation that strips me of my hiddennesses, I would love to insert myself into exactly what I will never become ahaha, I am a demon made of flesh, I need to annihilate every soul I contact, I love to chew on veins like a human fucker, or eeahh, but no, or any of it we suffer would merely be the capitulation to our bodies' inability to be dreams, guilt of whatever decides these pointless and even are they proclivities is the base, whatever, but on it I built a love, approached a zenith, saw her inscribed in the sky, and I know that sounds stupid, it is stupid, but stupidity is the very act of being human, we inert our dynamics to material outcomes, and what more perfectly the paradigm than choosing another being bound to complete conjugal this entelechial birth, except how disgusting our maggot writhing we pretend does not secrete shame, this body I pretend to arraign is a flayed skin monster of grafted limbs gurgling unintelligibly in ornate temples against serenade liturgies, congenital abomination of cosmos creed, horror's contagion marring a masterwork, yet I yearned for an altering spirit which entwined our starways superliminal glimmer source so could I shed the whole thing precisely at the portal to love and kiss the veil, yes, kiss not a claiming, do not wish devour, starve in stabilization, I may not be a good person, but I am not a riptide, but what could I say to make this so, had I not drained her, had she not broken to tears before me, there crying in the corner stained with all my kiss not a claiming, in her actual presence it all crumbled to ash, everything I and the others built lay like ruins around one second of her touch, touch. Imeni, it's true, I'm sorry. I'm nothing more than Volya, I am also the more nothing, monster who feasts upon you, but maybe I could rip my face off, maybe it wouldn't be hard, in whatever dresses we derive, the slaughter. Face inscrutable blaze, mercury mirror melting me to confusion swirls. Volya had to be wrong, had to be, had to be, but gazing upwards towards a world resolving with him broke me to quivers beneath the moonlight. Conqueror nature against all my struggles to mean besides, and what had I even struggled free? In me there is simply subordination exultation of you are beautiful so let me nestle in your touchless love. Nothing worth keeping. Do not throw me into the constellations soaring overhead to learn the light's patterns, in space I will soundless founder. Crumbled beneath Volya and his blatancies, admit it, wasn't her oak swirls swimming with clearshine eyes that compelled me with inness, I swear it, but no one's listening, because they all know what you repress though you plead that it is not the curled hair cresting in bubbles beneath the shine of the sun as it roars past the rocks into the plummet mist waterfall, because what even was that but physical desire, a reflective of the struggle itself that you the desperate not to be caught to where we all must go hides though you are no better, no one is better Volya grinned, you know this, cannot reason wriggle from the truth of porcelain teeth coyly [[breaking->mtaiza]] the lips like surf, even that gray headband imitating circlets that made her seem a sylvan spirit descending to us in this cold and cramped, but it wasn't it, none of that was it, or she was beautiful, yes, but not in the danger of the word, but how can it not be, horrendous intentions stripping second when beauty is uttered, how can you like like this, but I did not want beauty I screamed to this woman I loved, because her beauty was a home, and a home is only ever for what's inside, by everything in my soul I knew this to be, which is, of course, the source of all this indecision, you liar, you know you're making excuses for the horrible inside you that desires to slather and own, you revulsion abysm, but it was, her spirit so cheerful and absolute I longed for, love beyond the lovely for the lovable, the raindrop smile rippling in snowbanked lakes beguiled because of the calm wit purling from it, the demure half wink at the end of a teasing line mattered because it was a way her face bent to contain her, her habit of looking down when others would instinctively gaze up mattered because of the profound testament it gave as to where she found her mind, and I, I love the way her lips tremble on a joke, glitters of the ancient ages illumine her gem eyes in quotes of glows long since rusted to ends, and if that's not true, it's how I feel, and it's not true only because nothing I have ever felt has truth, and I'm sorry for the ways I've fallen short of the belief, but you cannot force me into the opposite, because I never did, I never, I never, but she wanted you to, or, or what did she want, after all this time you're still not sure, because you are incapable of facing what must be done, of bowing before that beauty, stripping before it, holding back the tears, admitting monstrous, that's why you're a child, you never admit your monstrous, that's why you cannot ken the idiosyncratic sense Imeni corsaged, better way to imagine the world. Because I am mangled male growls the glares inside my brain, so there must be othering of some sort, you merely imagine a heaven to your hell. You are not what she is, so you moth to her. And why can't I, can't, cannot the, and ah, the muscles loosen, the mind clears, I let go, okay, say what you must, I defend nothing. I am who I am before you, judge me. I deserve it, and you yearn for it, so you howl inside my skull, so kill me then, please, you're right, this is the, the... I can't. Where did all the energy go? Whither this tempest wonders the rest. After all, the truth has already occurred, to whom are you arguing? Indemnify yourself to yourself? Typical male vanity, ahaha you wretch, you disgusting, you repulsive, you filth, you, but what even is a male, why do we lack whatever we feel a fe emanates, do you know, skeptic? Won't you let me rust as I reason I must and let my tomb say what lessons my skeleton seeps into this soil? I know I'm wrong. I am wrongness. Why then all this furor about sin? "Don't think about it too hard," Vasya pushed himself up from being flung, stretched, then tousled Mylecz's hair. "Thinking has never done a body good, I can promise you that."

Pulled my scarf tighter to seal me in the [[night->mnight2]] sea wind; gone the tumbling day, which way, which way? Resent oozed from the night like resin against my foreign violence. Sea silence harbors mysteries sullied by the solving's touch. Gentle wash. Atonal plastering across.

"I'd feel so much better if I believed I deserved to be hated," Jaufr. "Maybe that's the final heartache that awaits me, the true terminus into graying, admittance. In the interim, so barred, I deny. Within me is a right so cannot overwrite, and yet, yet, wouldn't it be so powerful a release Emnin, just to be awful? That's the drug they're on that makes the hurting less, they don't have to justify themselves to the agony writhe. They numb themselves complacent to however they shake out, whereas honesty harangues the [[palatial->mnight2]] to hell." "I dunno, I'd be more afraid of deserving to be liked. The responsibility, the..." "The what?" "Sorry, my soul just left my body. I can't keep the conversation." Nullified nods me into his glare jolt peaceful, deserved to be despised peacefully.

Shapelurch landed me on its violence. Beak gnashed to suck. Kicking and fist into flesh. Thrown into seachurn whitefoam wild. Grabbing its grab of me to stab stab with a [[knife->mknife]] miraculously still held. [[Thrown->mpick]] ten feet that felt like fifty to slap onto the deck before their [[bemused->mpain]]. [[Tentacle->mtentacle]] crash several yards behind, [[splinters->mslice]] shrapnel my legs. Ankleblood glistens sour in stale tea sun.

Grabbed the glint a pace littered apace and swung up to [[slice->mslice]] the leapt. Crashfold of [[skittery->mparasites]], gunksoaked nauseous instantly, heave not so dry the [[jellily->mtentacle]] slops. Cough from inside my brain. Nervous up to my knees to gauge the [[fray->mlance]]. Noise as just noise, color as dustdevils. Little of [[fluid->mloosen]] languished in corpses clumped stretching to ashfount.

Tentacle slapped in on Teminu. Jelly. [[Crouchcrawled->mparasites]] back in [[awe->mawe]] and cartilege.

Thrashed up into gap in which all encompassing is its mass, its dance, swaying contrapuntal until slipped into its swallow, no, velocity uncertainty, dizzy up afresh to lifepanic whirl to where it faced me suddenly beautiful, as if I understand, though none parse passes [[between->mbetween]] our pressurized regions conduit, though glance to glance shibboleth sealed us in so this is us, after all we have atwain. Grandeur, its unaffected, its insistence on [[violence->mcannon]]. Purity of mission must adopt so that I might be worthy of such awe. Purity of direction unto vision, repulsive, its pulsive reproduction. Impurity of all action pleural in strike a match, eternity glimpsed and lost. Kill this creature incapable of other insofar as I other it killable. Yes, we share this sin. Attacks, and I attack.

Energetic tingly brushjoy of reality draining from every [[living->mawe]] around you, affirmation to soothe [[alones->mropework]] more you thrust your [[vicious->mbetween]] [[persist->mcry]].

Certain nerve is when electrified oversurges other senses, sizzled narrowed alively a cannot conduit elsegod, feeling that every other feeling feels, not to say deeper, but somehow too specific to transmute general into the welter [[phantom->mnight2]] flux, an emotion you recognize has been the bass, not because it is a part of each, but because it cannot go away, scar tissue where once a nerve was still in the storm sometimes electrified. How else would we be human but so harrowed?

Hungswing convected the mull. Was it the opposite, or the same, or the converse, or some combination, her in her kasaya's wavering? "Of whom do you amalgamate to this night that needs us to blend its phantoms to wine?" She zephyrs the undulate. I cannot answer, but my face betrays a question. "Ah, you are awoken to the poem, are you, asking it of the nightsea? You wish to hear the rest, and certainly, it must be so. I will not abandon you in the fragments after music culls. You must, you must, though, you must promise me you will not interrupt, or I will stop. You break what you interpolate, you must always remember this, you interpolate your brokens, so no interruptions, you must promise me that –" "I promise." Meluoi gleamed strangely sapphire under the bittersweet. Acceptance tinged her recitation, and I closed myself into the clear purl. What thoughts could there be but the words inscribed upon my mind, behind my eyelids did the lines flow, flow, and in the music the note arrived, my chest expanded with my breath to greet it, line after line unrolling like memory like in the breeze a flag, until strangely warped the words anew: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Gravities of city densities Accumulating of noise alloys Piled each atop another higher, Higher, ever high ascending unto the sunstruck, embattle We bless with sacrifices to cleanse us once this night more, Not yet call us, pall us, crawling strange to the estrangening Genesis distension, the will to exinsist perseucyst Tesserracts amid the stonework woven Sealing tessellations honeycombing Polymorphic into impanoptic enstigmatic Jumbled puzzles juttered in clash polyphonies of Chains of choices casting chance's die we, Or soon we, shall we, might we in our might Suppose upon the purpose blizzard Woken forces roving, summoned, hunting, Gash prayers upon the carnage core melodic, The world as it is directed to is."] Meluoi softened herself open. "Where have you gone?" "It ends? Is that the, whole?" "No, no," Meluoi waved her hand. "That's just the first koa, but what do you think? What now is it like to be you?" "What's a koa?" "Sections. The poem emerges thrice. What do you think of the first?" "Do you know the other koa?" "Yes, yes, of course. I was going to tell the others to your, uh, but vaela namari, nevertheless there is this there is, and did you, but did, what is it you are asking of me?" Desperate heat, that yearning touch on a scalding refusal... I nodded through the weight. "Can I hear more?" Letting her explore my expression, paw through it, trying not to flinch. Her jaw lapped subtly. "What should all this be were we to fall [[silent->msing]]?" She leaned forward into a darkness that began to swell.

"I um, heard your uh," I. "Earlier, I mean, belowdecks, I eeiah..." "Did you? Actually, yes, you were the one on the floor, weren't you? You alright? You looked..." "I survive," clutched my arm. "Were we all so lucky," she gripped the railing and stared into... Clutch it close though the warming felt blunts the nerves. I stared out with her over the lolled sound trying to prefigure into her answer. Calcified chest needles. "Are, are you alright?" I. "I am many things in suspension," she entwined moonlight between her dreamspell gestures. "I trust you also store as many secrets in your survival." Because I didn't know what to say I said what I didn't know how to say. "I liked your poem." "Did you?" "I did." I stared at the book, sedated calamity, elongated abominations steeped in bloodless flesh gurgling vocality, battering the cavernous endless where I do not echo. Interlocking indecipherables clinked like muted chains as I flipped amber pages, gnawing distortion eating frayed edges… "Do you," over her shoulder to me, "speak the language?" "No, I, no, I'm not, but, my mother, she used to..." "Mm," she nodded to the sea. "Yes, but you understood. You heard it whisper, the spirit that dwells in texts, Bravi djijyanna, the aimed power. Makeiti, getyeph damoi dyo, it was in you, touched you, lit you in a sensual candle leading through foreign soulways, gkeczemsze nemestua levekh eszheni, you speak a poem without knowing it, because you know it in there, somewhere. Enchanted of the poem in tatters, violence speaks to what you may have also suppressed, and what is it that lurks in a sailor speaking poems to the moon? Atop which currents do we sway?" Her words wandered on the wind back to her while chilling me in their little breeze waywards. "So had I hoped for such a connection, but we never know the nothing until nothing is, and how could I have, standing there blotted out by all that blankness, been more than the moment, perceived the power in its presiding... but even though all this is for them, I, is it wrong to wish... and imagine you sing for those who hate songs, do you not feel then in your throat the wrongness of song? Yet you too awed at what shimmered above you eternal... the Literature sustains itself through any gap so long as the gap is willing to be empty... objects dilute, you're elsewhere, systems are tricked, you're alive and not you, from every vista do you view our shared, human sublime glimpsing itself, and you must feel it, if you are awake, if you listen, the pure selfother. We have let the dreams slip this nightstill. How is there no more when there is thus yet, object shells scattered on no longer a sea, no more the need but merely its seed, the worldless wordless. "This dream I tried to give, but it was destroyed irrevocably, unalterably, the koa gone, and yet I cannot that believe, no destruction possible for so grand a theme survivor of death centuries, remained generative of equally potent our poised upon the undulate colossus..." "What's a koa?" She smiled to answer how the night sparkled her crackle of teethgleam mystery. Gently breathed to taste the sweet and salt. "The poem I told to you, did you believe it merely so? No, you heard it echo how your mother used to believe, and in that dwelling we hear again eternity rolling thunder over our shivers fibrous elegance delicate to pattern. They have torn but one of its lives, but a measure of its endless, they cannot kill the spirit that endures ever unto anew, and so can I, so can I [[sing->msing]] to you." Eminence assumptive dahlia of lodestar swells cyclone beautiful tragic she sewn into the circulature spoke through tunnels songs amplified to wavelight faerie the esperial seancean sea a sun as hung over ancient ages, the lands that spanned beneath, togetherness with all fallen in a fulcrum placid.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Erasure paused in a diamond gleam gleans Last thought strands upon the brink of dreams, Blank across this brittle vision welded Sting vibrations [[retroepicentered->mretroepicentered]] In abandon screams, acid awareness Injecting every suffering its superpositive overwrite, Scarsveils forever of the designed to submiss, Every once to this wanting this landless Straying [[dazes->mdazes]] to coagulate forsakens [[planetizeds->mplanetizeds]]..."]

Black against the dark, [[Mariena->mmariena]]. Dreamcatcher ringling in the flowless gulch lone obelisk splitting the starwinds on a knifepoint [[nullfixed->mnullfixed]] causal interrupt to flux permanence as ribbony venom oozed from her lips, tic of weakness in the mountain as it bulged, ceremonial retain of the fulminating, surge earsplitting from brittle earth crimson and cry, drowner if only were they audible. Held us too much in a name, frozen in her wake to appear in her wake frozen. Never before in a frame without its softer [[glow->mglow]] Kaiya, never in a world not hers, didn't recognize this one not hers. I couldn't, then on my knees, her inside each of my teeth and arteries ripping them together. Innocent days, barely could I remember the [[patches->mpatches]] sewn in milkshroud sensations of a face no more my own than this one as together we stream of images all worldless. In time in pity she would pretend to forget distance, in mutual [[maidensnow->mmaidensnow]] free as the reverse glare to white enveloping. I wish I could say I let her go with more a smile, but isn't that what hurts you hypocrite, that you let her go, you let her go. Isn't that the problem. Isn't that why. I couldn't interrupt, not when it was me, Mariena would know it, would know me, hadn't she always had that look, even back [[when->mwhen]].

The alley held me since my [[tears->mtears]] matched it. I was no good at overhand knots, and now everyone knew. What good could I ever be on a ship if I couldn't rushing bend? There was no point in sailing if you couldn't rushing bend, and if you can't sail, then, then you have to find a way to die in this stillness, and I would have to go up to the gardens and apprentice, spend my days swatting pests off plants, lost in a terminal glaze, feeling the stale warmth stickling my skin as my back groans from ever bending, and worse too the way they would know me as one who had wanted the sea, the outside need is written in our faces as sinmarks. I could not face my father like this, no, don't look at these hands! I should run, never return home, never return to the teaching, I, I'm tired of this skill based living, I don't want to have anything precious to fight for, I cannot, I am not. All them watching, in whispers would they know me, [[irrepressible->msunburst]] – "Emnin, there you are," Kaiya. "You alright? I've been after you the day." Sniffled an obvious no. "Mojyi's pent wrong lah, never grant him the listen. Everyone knows overhanders are the hardest, got negative marks myself, as most. It's super hard." Years by the time I realized she had lied, how wonderful it is for someone to care enough to lie to you. Someone willing to destroy reality for you. Why had I not learned from her? What lie had I told her when she knew the truth? What had I done but, the rope threading through my hands, the same feeling as that overhand knot, that same hairy coarseness, and the snap, the. Everything she had done for me had lowered her there to die. Tears and vomit vied in the inward churning maelstrom, uncertain which might be flung out the victor. I blanched in grim expectation of either.

"Go on then, Leiru," Leiska. "Spoil our ears with it, out with it!" "I, I mean, it's just –" "He's got nothing," Mazyu. "The kid's hopeless without Jaufrei." "Lesser of the pair, definitely," nodded Kostiye. Leiska looked to agree but remained himself. "Ah, but, you don't –" "What don't we now?" Leiska. "You keep blabbing that but never to a point. What don't we get? Conned they are, the shiptrials, eh, by whom, to what end? You don't know. You've not evidence." "But, the, the stevedores –" "What about stevedores?" Mazyu. "My cousin's a stevedore. You saying he's bent?" "I'm not saying anything!" I cried. "Here we go," Leiska laughed. "Snap your femurs to honesty, beggar." Indignation and a mortal fear of being misunderstood clogged. What rippled in my head muddled in my throat, snide scowls hawkish watched as none of it made sense, sputtering failed what lay so clear when others said it, that it was, how they, the smugglers and their ivaszi, in the Myemi who lazed on the Docks; wrapped in two, you might get the book, wrapped in three, they will never look; the crumbling front put forward to suggest that here might there be what there is no power to enact, the tacit admission which proves the principle inviolable, we do not want these vials which we must, must have, cross invective loosely plastered over a hither wink to the encroaching lifetime of psychedelic paresthesetic synesthesia leading to some better nowhere, nether vault of bubbling purples thickening into fumes clouding a viscous conscience bridled by cynicism so [[unsoothing->mtears]] that whether my blood beats through a vein or a rill still will I welling up be too tightly cagemouth [[gossamer->mviolets]] ossificatory to lethargy spreading through the choked land dry whose deplenary deplantation of means throughthroated though together we might bide its obvious, whisper it, nonexistence, it must be, how else can I never act into Jaufr's rippling alive awakeness in this slickening deluge of soilless soulless in which cannot belieds breathe, alike lumped in figures too figurative to clamber the malaise fortresses stormwalls into the impregnable solitude, no hint of anything but the banal noise of bickering nonlisteners gnashing, dissociative evocations of silted bespokens so that any blood spilled storming the haze spills into itself and is there forgotten derided as had Jaufr poised upon the gallows strained for the liberation of these strangers arrested to pretend the law for some more months yet been reduced to the moment, his strained thus to symbol all too familiar, we can never quite escape, with each footfall a horizon fleeting, rush of a charged word chains, and we clatter after the kingship, cudgel into this sense, and as he claims the [[sunburst->msunburst]] a sign, I reduced to dust signifiers with no energy but the wasting stood slightedly no more than the dregs of hopes, ask no more. "Leave him alone ehh," Kaiya. "Who cares he can't argue the idea? Since when do we think ourselves in syllogisms?" Not the rescue but the understanding, possession of a second in which I was not stuck in my alone.

Cadence is a part of the room, moves you along its shuffle clingdom, into her I fell and she held me up, she laureled my shoulder with a hand, we swung, swung, heavy lead sang the corner man creaking. Slight facial crease of a friend returning to a friend for the space of a special moment, upon the knacking ground sound we turned to new gravities grown into each other's ease. More than a thousand moments brought our steps in turn, in time, she knew me, she led, she knew exactly where I would follow. Dim [[starlight->mstarlight]] of a slumped deathbed chandelier split her face into three triangles lighter, arresting, dim into which I lingered, lowered, removed into what a familiar face is, everything but the now. Sleight movements in her confidence pulls moored me into her hidden play away from the rest of the room's widening, and she bloomed dusks in her lip discs drawing me in its asymmetric rise. Of the endless going sang the old man, troubled cuts crackled on our silent polyphony prowling into remembered nights when I met her in her humor queen of every sense supreme to this trembling body trying to mirror sunk in the shade she shed serene, the sweetness spark shocking. Spilling onto me she smiled. I wanted nothing, nothing, but to swing, swing, to meet her as she swept me on. Shadows shattered the [[illusion->millusion]] that I would ever as she swung to a separate partner and I swung to mine. I did not look back, she, I know she did not.

Mariena [[sniffled->mtears]]. I forced myself and placed my hand on the rail as if it was her shoulder. Off the bow in the onrushing breeze we drowned in the cold isosolve seeking the source we both... "Don't say it's alright. Never say that to me, ever." I nodded. "I won't." Jaufr's line. "I hated it, because it's never alright. You do not console someone when it's alright. You console someone when they've broken in a way they'll never [[reshape->millusion]], and they know it, they… sympathy hasn't turned the blood to rain. When the world becomes worse, it is not alright, it won't be, not for me. I will one day find peace, I hope, I, I know I must, will survive this, but this is now a hole in me that will never mend, in her name I will never be alright. Without, without Kaiya, it's all, less." I understand wished to burst from me, but wasn't that just as wrong. There was nothing I, me, could say. Her pain was so locked away in things that were never mine to discuss that I intravened extraneous curse, but still in presence laden, again the [[worsening->msunburst]] as I refused my [[redaction->mredaction]], why, you worm, will you not burrow...

How Kaiya had spoken in the soft loss glow. I can't hear her in the candelabra grief. I can't breathe without choking on her unthere. Gaps cataract between blinks to fevershade phantasms slicing my eyelids open to gapsglare. Solid these fingers why when they held what the air took? How can she be gone when, and in my struggle is the no more now, what is the cause of a cauterized persistence, where does all the good go, who steals it, is it me, is it me who let her down into the death? I let her down. Punch me in the jaw until I [[puddle->mtears]]. Kaiya, how, when, when! What do you mean she won't be there next time, what is a next time without a Kaiya to make it so? Muscle spasms in my right thigh intensify until my eyes roll back in a deathly gasp. Depicted in the better image a brazen day glaziers we glowed slow halos of voluminous hours. Pepped fire plunks us to slam down enough mugs to feel the warmth warp the world ours. When you're in the mode so much you cannot stop running. Stumblespeeding down streets lined with newly opened answers, catalyzed by each crash through to further swing the chandelier chatter. She asked me the questions I couldn't bring myself to be honest about with such grace and promise that I was honest about them, at least dream honest, starring the tongue with sylph truths. I slid along her ideas to unveil her cares, her gently listening lit in me the fire I always wanted to consume me corporeal [[violets->mviolets]], and isn't that how things can be, can't they, when you just are who you both can be in a brilliance that fevers the night a nocturne? None months melted the myriad to the pyramid momentous like having lived in them. Emptiness illustrating stranger swells. Plodding out of a voyage of yet more nothing and the yet more's drain to dance with her in a delirious continuity of all the acid beauties aging buries. To her I spoke, and she spoke new mes. With her voice quelled, my voice quiets. Speech spluthering through hollows a lisp of the impossibles. Under blankets you lose track of your [[constellations'->mstarlight]] heat, so unfurled to frigid space the sparkles pale, the serene solemns tombine. Bare you understand dress. Rosethorns pricking in the shadow always missing marked our Kaiyas others could not know, and this mutual need and ignorance, was there a way to... here in my unhelp blared the psychic din drowning routes, chained to the storm as it shatters and stirs, the unslaking cold drilling to the bone a frozen truth malignantly tumorous across the pallid broken. I was nobody to soothe somebody's loss, what did I mean to her in this gulf growing? I wanted to hug her until our tears tore us apart, but I felt a buzz in my fingers raw, how nauseous would it be to touch, be touched... these fingers that let her go. How did Kaiya ever do it? How had she forded what to ford would condemn me, this need that condemns my silence? Jaufr, brackish purple silhouette in the sunken depths, howled a watersong. Boltsnap to my knees banging my head on the rails on the way down, slip off the ship into the sea and drown, follow Kaiya, Jaufr, Marko, Nejani, Kaiya, Jaufr, everyone I had ever met, meet my ancestors, swollen bodies bursting with ocean in the moonswell tides of the deep, ancestors hair haloed in undulation, bowed shrift unto the rift name absolving fragments in the bleary moanjet their bloated gullets unswallow like time, inexorable enormity apologia for the transgress terminus. Sunburst palpitations, pulse and pulses pummeling, heart testifying the strength of its shackled blastslipping to bullet out from this slime chest bloodgush freedom where to writhe and wither before my shock, shocked at its own escape, helpless in the vastness, casting back a last glance to terrified majestic gloat as I sunk to my knees clutching the absence...

Kaiya and I in the morning cool beauty saying nothing like nothing [[divided->msunburst]] us. She leaned against me like I was a part of her world. I could not stop thinking of what today I could do for her to continue the [[illusion->millusion]]. At [[twilight->mstarlight]] went to her room with kezemni fresh, knocked, and no one answered. Left it by the door. "Was just kazemni there in the hall, like someone littered it there lor, completely fresh and whole it was, what interminable wasters some are eh?" Kaiya. "You just left food at her door? Like an offering to an idol? Had some prayers that needed to be answered, I imagine?" Tasyumi.

Soughs speech whilst we stood there grasping weakly the rail gazing into the inclement. Mariena's ringlets of a whisperwoven: "[[Kaiya->mkaiya4]] was, she was, she was as a sister to me, was my sister, blood such an empty thing lah, so little I feel coursing inside... she's my sibling only; Mazyu to their deaths a challenge sterned himself sallowing uncle or the like, when alone so many nights sat inside for, so long, deeper than the feel that broadened to unfill it, never echo emergent, no know why, maybe felt most me when alone eh as loneliness bred me, nurtured me, taught me. [[Loneliness->mloneliness]] entrenched becomes something else, the mutedness of bodies. That's where I'd still submit subject be were it not for she, silence in my sinews nestled had not Kaiya drawn me out well, been there when the hollow voices amplified, somehow she would know when I started to whisperkiss creaks in the tiles, she would come round, knock, knocked out of the reverie, forced to, she'd convince me out was an in, just the two of us wherever we were secret, clambered up on rooftops, tightwalking narrow boards from roof to roof, scaling risers, living for the thrill of it, the thrill of it, Leiru, can you imagine what that meant, we'd watch as streetlamps flicked on, or wouldn't flick on, as people passed under them increasingly drunk, we'd talk the world round til we surprised ourselves awake to a dawn, last little yesternight shivers intoning the sense of it, the strange of it, vitality in the evaporation purer in the lifetimes we spent up there, the times that were life, what little I've been given to live said in the thoughts only she shared, only she thought them through me… without her half my brain has gone, like I'm fizzling fragments to the dimming sea, splash after splash blackens shush… have you ever looked at someone, Leiru, and just been happy to know you'll see them again? I, and it, fjelske! It doesn't feel real, it's not, it is the unreality, been rendered virtual without her grounding, or I don't know the real way to phrase it."

Chilled semishiver rustling into the rails in the lean to infinity invisible composed of one more sigh. "Anything but the cold I have learned was siphoned from her equanimity. Anyone I have tried to be I parsed vatic from her hadiths. Whoever she was, I saw I could be, in each moment, each version of her she appeared. Who am I supposed to be, if not an envyslicked approximate of her goodness? She, and it's a million little things is why each example feels so ridiculous writhegawping out of water, but like once we got up to the courts to paw some volleys, this was the period where she had, you know, she was a bit desolate herself, was struggling with her weight a bit, and I had, or thought I had, bliss of being the one making the effort to nurture her through the days, and I tried, absolute yego as I am ah, thought it would be good for her to come and play with us, but it's sweltering ruthless out on them, the courts, they're just in the place where the heat collects, had she to unbundle a bit to play, had to tieback also, which made her seem really uncomfortable with her appearance, like it made super obvious the depth her depression sagged those months, but she did it with a smile, like she was willing to indignify a bit to keep up the [[company->mcompany]], sweating profusely and failing to play out to par, she did it for us, reduced herself to reality open to judgment, and I thought that the most beautiful, I, and I tried so often to replicate that, cast aside my evasives to strive creation of honest connection infinitely precious for being the only one possible, but what, what even is possible anymore, where shall I, in what, how have here found myself in consciousness pressurized against this suction ah, swollen noiseless encasing you in a cache connection where time no ticks in the union unneedsayable my dream of her, her incollapse knowns where my eyes lidded, this is where the gap is, is I feel this raw chafe cancerpulsing in grief, but I know behind it lies vaster abysses, years uncountably of mornings as memory reincisions... remember we were in the vents of the coal riser, up to the sixth landing we crawled or so, were climbing rungs to the next, getting kinda near the top, but I misfooted and fell, scrabbling everywhere and hitting my head twice, and whoosh, out I came from the opening on the sixth, flying, skidded off the ground, bump, bump, sliding, rammed straight into the wall true as, couldn't breathe yeah, whitehot jolts in my legs and back, that queasy feeling of maybe broken, but all I could hear was Kaiya yelling, congratulations, it's a girl! I laughed, I was super sore, but it didn't matter because I was laughing so hard, I was laughing so hard it hurt, but then that just made me laugh harder, and then how ridiculous that was made me laugh even harder, and, well…" cracked a wisp of cheer. "But that was Kaiya for you. I'd go through all that pain again just to hear her say it one more time, for the assurance this estrangedness could still form a joyful memory."

Shivered as speech seeped up from my lungs like icicles daggering my mouthdark. "I had been out with, well. It seems so long ago now, those things, these feelings, like this loss adds to an age my throat rings. What am I, of any of it, now? I watched her go, I let her go, I... "I had been out with, with him, you know, sorry, um, but... we were coursing to his usual drives. Since living is violence, they came to their blows, but I fled. They started fighting, and I watched him go down, and I, it was like in that moment I let him go. I know it's awful, but why shouldn't I hate fights, most of all what they mean, why is it a weakness not to want strength, isn't there purpose in learning to buckle, and is it that we are all so lonely that we surge into the equal and opposite barrier as if there we are sanctified, when isn't so that any survivor will tell you the dead are more precious, but I uh, but I, and [[Kaiya->mkaiya4]], she, she chased after me out into the streets, she sheltered my tears, and I remember looking up at her and thinking how many times had I relied on this, how many times would I rely on this? Goodness that appears when you thirst for it like a slimebasin manymouth defies everything, there is nothing you can say about the person who chases you out into the streets but that they remind you of how grotesque you are for having that wish fulfilled, and I wanted it, why else had I lingered just so, moved in just the right motions for her to notice? I used to do so many favors for her, not to earn her kindness, but because I was so deeply ashamed, I felt like I had this guilt that I was trying to bribe into silence, stealing so much of her emotional energy again and again, when I, and let's be austere, I accept it, when I'm not worth such care, and because no one should care for you; no one, not one, is responsible for helping you out of your own snot, but there she was, pulling, I am a jackal just to think of it! If they give you care, let it be like rain on burning skin, but they do not owe you, they never owe you, which is why for years I mothed to her needs thirsting to somehow break even, but each new demand I made made that more impossible, humiliated totally and entirely as I called her out into the night that time, as so many others, I had the sin of both being below the clouds as the penitent, how filthy, how, how, and there's just, oh why do I have to, what's the point in explaining things? That she was there, that was the explanation, and without her it doesn't make sense, I can't make sense of it, not without her to solve it. All these unfinished feelings! And now she's dead! Because of, of me! I lowered her into danger, I told her to do it, her blood is on my [[selfishness->mredaction]], because I was so, so concerned about Imeni, who, who, and that's also, but, ahh, ehhah, I no, it's, so thoroughly this, this, gods I can't, how could I? But don't you see I'm not helping you, this, any, I was never any good with anything, and I'm hurting you here too, I'm sorry, I don't even know what this story should do, why I'm telling you it, and I'm sorry, Mariena, I'm sorry that Kaiya is gone, I'm sorry that my being here is only a reminder of what a huge loss losing Kaiya is, I'm sorry for trying, I'm sorry that all I know how to do is apologize as if my feelings have anything to do with anything, but that, and she's gone, she's gone, and I, I don't know what to do, to think, to say, to be, and it's my fault, at least partially, I could have saved, I should have noticed the danger she was, I put her in, I should have taken literally five seconds to think about her wellbeing in that situation, when, and after all that, all she had done for me, for you, for everyone! I'm sorry I'm, I'm just so sorry, I'm sorry for everything, I'm so, ahh!" Began to weep in her arms, someone just punch me, let unconsciousness render the decorum I cannot. Kaiya dwindled in blue glass I seethed to shatter, and a fever dreamed that Mariena in revulsion tossed me from the ship, that I sank back through fault years proceeding along a vulgar road to the open domeless temple where surrounded by bloated ancients as seas darkened the last suntouches her bloomless corpse wavering would in one elegant move extend its oscillating tendrils seen even through eyelids across the fathoms and grab my waist and pull me into the blinding shadow dawn, and Mariena in the unconnected above would weep by herself for beautiful Kaiya louder than the screams I would bleed were only they audible... Mariena pulled her lips into a simulacrum smile. "Don't let go of it. Don't let go. Fall into it. People would be better if they cried to each other, hneh, ah, that's Kaiya's line, or, that was Kaiya's line."

"You've got to see this," [[Kaiya->mkaiya4]] enthused. "I've caught it in an alley as just growing there, like by itself lah, as if that is a thing that's done. I'll show you, come, come!" "To an alley?" I. "Like right now?" "Of course an alley, otherwise it would be known." Imeni. "There's the thought, alleys are for secrets, and most secrets are best shared." Kaiya. "I don't know that that's true." I. "Just come on will you!" "You're just digging in alleys at this hour?" As I'm tugged outdoors. "Yeah ehh just see." Brought into the spansive echoness, led through its inarticulate veins drippy with grays, twisted into its contusive braised dizzies, until through coldspar and starcull parse gelled into a litterly lane leading to ends where burst in blush color violets spray gentle removed from all possibility, eternal endurance unto this bloom power. Blinked: behind eyelids still brillianced. Imeni knelt up to it. unable to touch it, but bathed her face the hue, saw her expression deepened by this reflection in nights when wistful she shunned other vulbs to treasure this imaginative immaculate [[cherished->mcherished2]] beneath concretes. "I, wow, it's..." Imeni. "I told you you had to see it lah." Kaiya. "In, in the alleys..." I. "Where else would they be where we could find them?" "Dreams, I should think." "Well yeah aye, getting to dally with a graceful like me must be dreaming!" Imeni laughed, kissed Kaiya on the cheek. "Yes, you're the flower. Ta sharing your violets with us."

Is there a grief before death nonselfish? Liberated from our wails unlistening, what gnashes thence, the very unlisten? Because for all we noble our tears that Kaiya, magisterial, nonfurther endures, the hole is inside us, we bear the absence, weeping Kaiya in how much she was when we shared, because of Kaiya the unshareable, are they not to me as these [[breezes->mstart9]]? No, because they generated the shareables, and the gap of generating pertains. No, but there's got to be an additional, like, isn't it just the joy of her existence in itself and inexplicable, the way we treasure tea, its every part yes insofar as it secures the essence, yet tea is of course your example, something you consume, you consumed her, you destroyed her, found a cause worth her life and threw her at it thoughtless, you killed her, you killed Kaiya, no, but that's not, it is true, you did it, okay, okay, yes I, okay, but is there a grief before death nonselfish? How do I mourn her outside of selfrecrimination spirals? How do I mourn Kaiya in pure intent and method? But who does? Isn't the point of our mourning that Kaiya dies a part of us, the legacy of her belonging to our living unique in each imprint that cannot with her body be cast into storm evulges grief a demand to become less whole, to authentice the tragedy shared, love that endures through meaning eventide? Element of existent, her inside, from which me inextricable. I cannot speak of Kaiya without speaking of who she was to me, how eviscerated each unique we fractal relic her fraught theme, the, no, you cannot though, must speak only of Kaiya, annihilate yourself from all memories, brutalize your being blankness before her imperfect magics. How though? It's easy to say that, but it's hard to feel the loss of Kaiya except inside me, how do I ghost myself into purity loss of her outline without then selfishly appropriating? Reveries atop consistently less her once until Kaiya the doll dances our emotions, disgusting. But I miss her, and that's, somehow I need to express it, and I admit I should find a way that doesn't involve I, but then what, miss her? Just that: miss her. She is missing, like rooms their echoings. Silhouette scythed from possible. But is that what she would want? What good to Kaiya elemental a name? Well what good is your sniveling ashamed? What could she gain equivalent to the loss exude? Hypocrite of hypocrites, considering what good you could do Kaiya, having killed her. Drown yourself. But she, she wouldn't want that, even if, volcanic ire to hate me sure, I accept and I beg any penance to bear her desire's reciprocal cull, but Kaiya would not want any of this, but what can I give her, isn't the point that I can never again give her anything? Totality of my interacted immutably sealed just like her voice. Kaiya doesn't want anything of you, there is no you, redact yourself. Kaiya wanted, you were found wanting, in that negativity persist, if you insist such a sin.

In that desires are contingent can we repulse them from the standpoint of truth, but insofar as the truth proves contingent we are enmeshed in desire. How to escape what would also sieve us? Then the meta redounding of is not escape desire, why should we not desire ourselves sieved in desireless assumptively pure, a thousand pittering little thoughts that slowly drain all desire to speak of such words. Because maybe the greatest desire is nonhumiliated in the [[associative->mdiffrasion]] morass angelic [[exterminus->mexterminusalinity]].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Noncausations searsensing the semblance petals cinders, Sundered recollects blurring burning [[Grave->mgrave]] nativity resigned to dearths [[entombodied->mkindentityingness]], Groveling mud clawing at the alien sun Desiccating caking to its purpose earth, Yesterdaze I lay in russets to sepia Sylvan peace in motion, sculptural breath, Soundscapes aftersoul contiguous with our preformed zen..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Erasing into the taste this long and longing journey Cackling in marshes footfall sucking Ghost tongue flickers a charmless vex, Warmed free in vibrant fibers canopies loom [[Shadowweaving->mkindentityingness]] over my strolling through echoes, Song scintillas winged from branch to blue, the World I knew in youth, those gentle glades so Elegantly wreathed in fog, sarong on Locks emeralds spray waves with Clash spume vermilions, where sought I misty Secrets in ruminative ataraxics sung by Cicada choirs' cascades [[vivaflooding->mgrave]] fuchsia Tears outside of time, bittersaccharine pulse..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Heartbeats gliding world simplicity exist penned In the lapping change in unchanging harmonies, Insects verse my childhood its gone and remembered, Dereliction of was amidst its outlasts outcast, Silts of sighs white upon the fallow mounds Transposable but untranslatable in the snowwrit wreaths Yielding no taste nor touch but translucence, Stage without scene, senses in a different sense, Faint madeleines of ancient light shimmerstreaming Autumnal loss stems highthreading gradually unwhispering winds, Flutes quivers that replace the replace of youth Seisming my plucks of melody to tears Rifting, rifting, whitewater rifting the wintrous dislilting Lullaby closures for the monk of arbor abbey Peoning the peonies, sainting the stags, Ecstatic and enigmatic prophetic craving the waking worship, Unalone in the lush quiet Brother to everything and nothing, In brooks and crags counted [[kindentityingness->mkindentityingness]], Cloaked ambassador of rivulets and rocks Rent [[asunder->mgrave]] to the time rain..."]

Held she the ring in her hand delicate as if could it [[gleam->mstart9]] dissipate was not the dim abound. "Just lying there lah? Like on its lone eh?" Kaiya. "Yeah I mean not thieving in this empty." I. "Wonder whose yeah? Is there, can you see on it, anything to say?" "Dunno, can't really see well for it, the dark. Maybe clink it outside?" "No, no, it's, it's as if it belongs here, it does belong here that you found it so." "So all just belongs wherever? You never venture out having been in?" Imeni. "This is different ehh, this has the vibe sunk in, resonates only to this room." Kaiya. "Has it nested? Shall we crackle through the brush to glimpse little ringlings?" "Yesh lazeh lushblur entangled." I. "Aye's so I'm saying, objects render the scene, scenes render the objects, sometimes the crosspulses overload the circuit and collapse singulated. This ring is this room in its in." "Afraid you snag it, breaks or you're haunted or?" Imeni. "Afraid just I'll regret it, the magic will go, and I'll be alone again." "But we're here." I. "Only insofar this ring, this dream..."

Mosquito, gorgeous with blood, floats between me and [[chaos->mcannon]]. Serenely bobbing on the turbulence, vial of last [[traces->mvoid2]].

Did not dare to name her mother, so Anya held up the stillness like a violin forever poised for [[heartshattering->mroar]] tremolo crescendo. Strapped to angles I could not even perceive she filtered the doorway [[lambent->minkblot]] dribble to burnt husk corona of a could not have been coronet. Beauty like you need to apologize. Taste that begins bittersweet because no is any feeling of [[presence->mheard]] to bask. Moment that occurs and all you can think about is it is ending, it is already subsiding, you can feel it go. Her voice welled and dried, and though I tried, her whispers would not pearl my headdress bent before in pseudoprayer not speaking to heavens, but blackness of eyelids waiting for the transit. Juncture of nowhere my lolled away as if to preach to the emptiness there until the hum normalized and I amassed not the [[waves->msurface]].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Into the waste ways broken I fell Unto unsolve where laid upon the rasped a rage, Village burning, screams ashed, forever forgotten wherewith, Oh claim this, you cruelness, signature your savagery, Who have these places immolated, Whose sake could this site sate So drunken from this incarnated Where bleak heaven can this calamitous be scried Basilisk before the baskers in birdsong Given unto a [[name->mname]] to be hunted, shunted, selved, Reflected grims gruesomeone to answer Pangs that puncture the structures in which we dalliance reason, Push us to purpose austere and alterior, Caught not in our castigates roaming wild over wilderness Error inpressed enlessed our conscioustress Dressing our nudity debloomed to dread crude gravens, Selved to such a struggle identified in its reign, Becomant this of each [[quiet->mquiet]] before..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Wild tossing tempest over souls wreckage, Fate manifests over thralls clawing pieteous to the ruthless welter, Being burns of burning beings Scar the ash the stareback sunset hung Hideous in the hour I emerged past the forest edge Into fire, fire, village pillaged, Dozens of [[bodies->mquiet]] charred and charring, Dwellings un, carts toppled still spinning, ululating, Stench crouched over the carnage, Carnations strewn over the slayers' way bridals, What can grow from the gnarled gnash, What glory the snarling thrash, Corpses piling for whom, whence, Whence this pain to invest epaulets emergent in Blades bloodied requite serenity its mereness, Bear [[witness->mname]] to the baseness, Fundament on which we construct strewn ruins Graveway lining the led to catantistrophe Of any whom presume their life to lightness, Simply survivaling showing what viva serve we, Precious pureness of the agony amore..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["A mournful cry and a desperate why smothered, Jagged sigh volcanic unto the duskbled crimson Under which wailed a woe yet sealant, Shocked I staggered, stammered, sought, knelt Where under rubble blurbled a body broken sixteen angles, Aged no further, a girl a finger lifting despair accuse, An I in the collapse where can I recognize Gasping lasting a spirit clasped in collapses Yet unlapsed in pierced under ceiling remnants Murmurs, aid or suffocating, whichever tenders her quicker To her quickened truth, or so it seems in these torn seams I unseethe scrabbling at beams to uncage her Whimpering half effusive like limbo voicing Against the [[blooddrowned->matrocity]] dreary a jinn serration, Shiver embrace blazed we between battereds our own storm, She weeps for loves survival mutilates ghouls Gnashing apart dreams gashed to noontime tortures, Phantoms glowing golden tarring suns midnight black Ensymbolisms of the bleak dim road to barren wode, And from the wreckage I raise her wrathful [[Satanic->mhellfire]] symbol of belowness refusion To a quaking [[sky->mmystic]] heaving with fears..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["From the fire furioused a fist Wretched against timetide eddying pallstruck the marbled [[atrocity->matrocity]], Raced over to the writhing, bending over the burning, Searching for life in this dual opposeds, Blended woad from my trembling wishing Hysteric to heal her [[hellfire->mhellfire]], cure her Culled to sate the limbglutless which desecrates Enthroned upon the envisiblinding nova Throne vision of the duress simplex, Rites of the [[mystic->mmystic]] summoning encircled struck, New non now curse inscribed upon oblique denial Runes such suffering evolving to language Songs the spirit screams against the Echoing goliath quiet reign..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Bruises purpling the nightfalls Spiral spindlers labyrinths of woven tongues Curse whispers cut from salival drowned stutters, Haunts of haunts of haunts of nots echo blend Onyx circlet circumscription worldwinces Wearying us awake, callous dawns refadeless, Nightmares that beetle flutter flight Through eyelid borders permeable with Neon nones, molten shadow shapes vatic Erratic upon the reunite disdistance Shooting [[agony->mwhisperwail]] volts starkling the midnight esperials..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Madeleine of sombra somber spreaded Treefingered in the false tension Of any voice again, any joy in tendeds, Thief of the touch of death pacified these palms Aftercull, demonic cleanse ragenews revenge Obliquities starkly reverberation revelation, Slayer doublet that duels its doppelgangers, Violently helical consequence, Veintunes vivid reeling, rushing, purling Passions splattering this gray with needing, Needling colors warm tones intones Psalms in pyre updraft wisps which harmonize Reversal rains immolating cage azure frosts gloss, Our sickly with ice, the chill the chant enchanter Upon the shivering scapeselves a [[whisperwail->mwhisperwail]]..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Counterpoint cry to gods we briefly share as Sparks in darkfall mutter butterfly phantoms Spilling flight upon the inexorable… Viscera's religious await in ardor's ochres [[Howl->mwhisperwail]] to the waned reply looming moon accedes To tongueless blood horizon's ooze negation Erisionsinging vengeance unto broken Devil's jaws baring peaks which titan wall the tide, My wish, my love, my desperation nurturing Girl of the ground in grief and youth, Crushed life glittering shards of possibly jewel, Her unsevered our soul's sinews, tapestry frays to muscles Sweatlush respire to the forbidden stars..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Pulses coronate her ghosts of words for months unspoken In the corona sear of her struggling finally to torchtongue Heaves of everything undone in death Crystallized mountains gutted with mines of years Gone and ungoable, uninroadable, In which gaps she convoked a name, Illume identity elusion of the inaccessible, Scream of this antistillness somber jagged Desolate unto solitude's brink in sensory slush I sought to sharpen, bring unto her focus Torrents towards joys, sunset [[chasers->mchasers]] rouging jungles Spilling ripples patterning our way, Brush damasks trickling gently raindrop glistens, Slick auroras whorl washes swirling singsong spirals Helixing unto where wishful wanderers secrets share, Riddles naturlis, communes never to be spoken, Medicines and tonics, ritual tinctures, Properties of kingswell, yerba mate, Dragonstongue, what grows, what withers, brews and Salves, designs to drink, to scent as a beast, Poisons and their antidotes, warmers and spices, Some to wake, some to sleep, some to dream between, The dozen dozen dresses nature sways ripples Along our immersed incursives italicizing internality Shrines to flow the enshrined invocatives, And unto all these secrets proved she deeper talents, Mysticisms beyond my ken, outracing and outsensing, Outintracing, blossoms of her empathosetic moonlights, Formulae divulged in luminous arrays, Brims that shrink the beetling on beneath, Gaze complete she [[reigned->mreigned]] over any scene staged..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Chasing in powers plushes of bounties Which may never replace but rescintillate the await to vases Solidifying her embracing to beauty, As once had must I, orphaned also, To see in the steeling afresh a forge stele, Some creation counterbalancing decomposition, Musician desperate to fuse the notes to feeling, Twinship salvage of stories told before, Of time's sown in ash an ashtree grows, So too she rose to the [[vigorous->mwrest]] resilience That scorched the speckled moon with fate indifference, Life here as it must be upon this surface, As had we hearkened unto the hellfire hoping..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Ears outfoxing the foxes, outskulking grayfurred wolves, She spread conqueror unto the canopy, Climbed what caged me, what Bounded my best burnished better talents by furnishing canvas Skillful sunbolt surges signed she name attaining, And awed pride overcame my bearing, Matchless joy the parent outmatched, Wept the shadowed bliss as in Air's immense hushing echo kingdom Stalked she natively the hallowed hollow Heavens, queen of canopies unseen, Magnificaria thronewrest idol Of worships of the yet to [[wrest->mwrest]]..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["But choking in the afterlack I lake my embitters, Overbreak my [[embankments->membankments]], deluge despair unto woderaw Wilderness of [[mausoleum->mmausoleum]] mythwrest, Build her cause incompletion limbs to graft To wield the wounds, oblation ordealing for Seven years a warworn princess crowned with groves, Moth unto the flame brilliance in bloodwastes, Ranger of our greatest nature [[searching->msearching]], Overshroud drawing over palls submergence in Tides of idylls fading violet spills of cavern candelabra..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Cache vibrancy besought in exhaustion unearthing, In mounting tawny mountains hedging the forest westward, Bulk bulbs ragged to crags that cutlass the day Bleeding shadows on slopes scraped clean of greens, Brown and bleak beneath occluded summer, Grand ascendancy, what youth could bear the Task, resisting such romantic splendor, How could I blame her, worry her, When she shouted down to me my dawns Ever higher and higher, brighter and cheerier As to trance me in the belief, the rush, the breeze That screams a thousand intensified whispers The more you unmask its amassing In an endless and inky sky cerulean merging Scale with bluegrass prairies racing chase To headlands trickling terrain to a main continental Spread out low below fleecy clouds in gossamer cortege, Forests and seas and a rainforest reprise, To the rivers raging in which she wrote What I will never cease to read and never understand...]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["All to a witness wit of our ness, Maroonment quintessence, the border that bears our presence She besought in strains and feats to feel Real and raw and rough enough to reach the needs to Tie phenomena to purpose, power Marrying with meaning under swelters, Heatwrit symbol muscles curling like the wild Roaring rapids twinkling below the depths insatiable, The infinite distance tomb into which I never heard her fall, Whether slumber overcast silver silky a veil, Or I myself into the blaze was dazed to dream...]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Damned do not their hours know, Only the drone frozen, the hemophone closing veinmouths To cozen hush, coven hex the drilling silence Of the drop both in body and heart radiation, Curling into the question why, why, Whence the evil maars upon this simple roam, Shall what sin seclude our benevolence for being From being in being, who shall blame her dual, Smiles beneath the carronades our simply so slashed, Wracked, ribboning viscera on the barren scar, Crashed down upon the chance our heiroclerolanced, Chirochoramancy unwrought in our caught unto embody, Attenuated target, forced into the spoke to race the rout, Sloughed to sentience to suffer the scythe of the cosmos catalex Blood virulence beast imbuance to gnash the soles of gods This blade, this rage, this torch of the endured, Love languish I promise never to dare rest while sinners taste Nectars spurned you, gracious daughter, purpose enclosure, Sunlight to this break by bladestrike the yawning caverning, Shall death consume us all, then rift, you gyre, Merciless devourer, erase this undestroyably named, Her breath, my memory, their maze."] Under the plasma shallowing outline I clutched this blossoms cord focusing into the natural need not to know, throw away your ghosts, leave only this mode [[poempathetic->mpoempathetic]]. Inhabit the greater encroaching even if you its hymns croak so bidden beyond your inadequate can yours be lifted by inviolable unseens to a releve resting, arresting the [[anoemidity->manoemidity]], arms flowing asynchronous in [[aqueous->maqueous]] signals, bizarre god of the deeper dark in manylimb symbols swallowing roselike listing to the breeze return to submissive chaos, bizarred in the aghast of beauty interpastual entexted in my enraptured in her scripturing my surrendered. To this totality beauty she spun in gentle unturns and nonsteps this resurrection of the cause to speak, throaty hymnal spirit seiches deluges the demonic clatter. Courageous you to me offering each other arms, mutual grasp to the grasping, there must be praise also a scream.

"So much suffering, and, it must be ours," Meluoi. "Delve into an end which might not return you before the words are truly not yours. You must eradicate the separation, you must stand and die this same death before truly speaking another's known, but, is it not ours, sailor, can you not taste this [[spray->mstart9]] for what it is, and it is, we must address the age that accosts us, must countenance the separation that removes its own bordering, a bearing that brings us to a foregrounding, individuation isolation. This, this world, sailor, is not a verse to worship, none ever is. Mana veins coursing through the earth to be tapped into our communal gale, salient fluorescence mixing tonalities into one soul oursystemic, heat of this world, you too pump through us, through you, through me so similarly, please, sailor, trust that I too am lost, that nothing I speak to you is anything but my own despair dreaming, but here we are, aren't we, and where is that for you, in which night are you now sailing?" I yanked at my throat's chain: the dust of my mouth trickled out. She turned to my passive and sighed from both our lungs. She seemed to know and nodded. "Move with the poetry, let it become you. You are no one if you cannot let yourself not be. Your silence is a token of a great understanding. Encourage it, follow through it to what vibrates there. Those who listen enough hear voices everywhere." Drain wan in the warping hourette an assumptive where, supposing it here in this shiver strange. "What's your name?" Beat skipped, my heart. She shouldn't know, must never know, never know! "Em ah, Emnino. Emnino Leiru. Most people call me Leiru." "O and u? Ascendant Seeker of the Center. Curious... and what is it you seek that forces you inwards?"

Waterfire pyre cresting to slosh our feet in quicksilver sparks as she sighed in tune with the paraselene. "Do you feel it, as if somehow... somehow. Not of me does this moon move along our worldtrace. I want everything to be said, but I do not know the no ways to have it all already said, and I feel so unsatisfied in the absentation partialization, even though the unsatisfaction is part of the point, isn't it, and maybe I only feel it vicariously through you, it's... how can we chill us a closeness? I sometimes feel like in translating I ponder too ponderous sweet arcane gordians, how I've butchered the metrical finesse, the purposing intense, ah, the poem is only the most pure thing, yet I've but given you its most sullied shred, cannot impress upon your ears the tongue the ink hears, why do I bother to have words scrape my lesser vessel thrall, why can I not candelabra you with updraft joys, but what in lightness would I want to conjure, whence then some where to go? Maybe it's best to die inside the mists. Isolation makes us so much more real than unity ever might, forced to feel out our sundered we shiver and sense the motions our curves gravitate. Doom irony is never knowing what I am doing as I do as I must. I don't want anything from you, from this, other than, ah, and maybe I want too much, maybe I want to feel alive, briefly, as we die... I just, I feel so sick! Don't you? Do you? Won't you speak?" Backblast trembles pushed her in the hazy flush. Gray and matted wavered the muted fog, darker billows curling in icy slush, and the bow rose into it, beaten, worn. I pointed to the black tumbler sky. Muffled flashes popped overtop. "[[Storm's->mstart9]] coming."

Everything around us ends except us until us, streams that cease at cessation, never to the emptiness joined to the rest resume. Deathdrenched dressed in life forever in fear of the [[unveil->munveil]]. We are the shivers of the great unraveling. Trashheap hearts less than the barren whole I do not despite oaths contradict feed the shifting sepia reductress whose simulacrumbling relent reveals the reptile slits which sheekshik to switch sights to isolate prey from parameters, the creature for whom the whole world is a single dry roll. Meant for this, made of this, rejecting my made of this bulbous croakter of how dare you suggest I chains me to a rocking in the sea, a submersion which has no right to surface, so says the unright surface. Drowned is dignity, why humiliate us profundity from the depths? Why did she bother? Why did I have to lay there bleeding into the scene! Had I had my legs would I had run, had my tongue had would have had screamed until, would have made everything, time, it must stop sometime, metronome creaking from fractures, what from the wood in which our silenter womb was still nothing. Is this what it is to age, to sit sedately anticipating what half mutters in too long a pause? I needed. Years avalanche in a strong enough phrase. Efface the erased to signed verse, but grisly deluded my denuded to catabolism they revulse silenced, stronger a theme than this pulse, every one of them twining together any of my [[desired->mdesired]] separates, their externality, my [[exterminusalinity->mexterminusalinity]] from which nothing germinates, not even her voice, never am I of a voice this deepened, so swollen under the spawns of fathoming pressure, just kill crush the cage to loose the wish to airy lilts, wished could have crawled over to her feet to plead she kalique upon my skull, but what difference would it have been, would still have crawled out from that crowd bloodied as I deserve, seeing me so sullied so honestly, she should have known that here do years wither instead. Playfully soulcrushing time never to mean or to do, or to know the colors, alone and naked in shapes, crude periphery sketches always fading beyond my vision, unless, unless there is a way to tunnel through, to be as undone though we all of us are dying into pigments, though, strangely, shimmeringly, elusive in her voice dwelt alone the possibility of possibility, the choice of a second second, so could it be that she would, we mean something, that there was meaning to be meant, that I could, listen, adhere to? Except that I had already! Everything disappears into the sea. I would never know. Straining to lick the carbon imprints of rusted engines so the oilslicks would unrust my ruin to actively [[ruinous->mruinous]]...

Mist drenched mirage floating in starpoint stigmata over the deeper blue halo helixing from the underfoam soak, moondense dance aching radiating spills tiding my veins in the path of its greater leyline running to flow me to her mute fury blue flaming, if I speak, shall she hear me? Her voiceless hung as it had in my flanging since she last retreated; emergent thus? Where were we where such a song could sound anew? Phantom the Veda vera as I saw her in trickle majesty of bloodflow luthier seemed to recognize me though in this tremulous I unsleeves live. "Night wanderer, again to this shiver?" Voice depthsier than my deepened abyssal, sugary possibility in violence new forms. Nodded but did not turn. Heatlessly she chuckled, Meluoi, so can she be breathfully. Yearned to whirl and shout out the feelseal to explode in full repulsive majesty my battering demon, but the need not to be noticed overwrote my voice with a barren roaming no whisper would thread through to coax the coy stars. Sometimes we simply need to fill up the space we are supposed to [[fill->mfill2]]. "Yes." She rested her right hand on the back of her lower left temple as she turned to the left. Amethyst eyes glow cryptic a lower lunarmosity abstracting the sky gone. "Well," Meluoi, "perhaps we share [[this->mthis]]."

A lull crept discomfort in, and as it played on the emptiness Meluoi leaned near me on the rail, knuckles supporting her black velvet though it made no impress. Away from her I slumped to the ship's roll to see the sea seem to simmer. Kaiya ghosted the waves unwavering in the braziers' glow the unreal. Lipping, a shadow of the flame alighted over her cheeks illuminating in a liquid morphyre beauty stronger than the entirety of my life preceding. Were her hands extending to me over the plum waves splatter, could I soak myself with her in the heavens' low, dark mirror? Lime retrospect's bitter drinking. I am a stone sweat seeping into the sea's gulching stomach, spit me. And they have, haven't they? Isn't this the only true [[emotion->memotion2]] in me, that I have been recognized, and this repulses people, most of all me? I am what I suffer as deserving, but I have not the bravery to beat myself silent.

Leaden sleep hung, could not budge, did not buckle dreamless, hours dragged. I fell behind. Into consciousness soldered scanning dark patience. Blood fatigue stagnated rustscrape veins. Rigid knees threatening to break bend the wrong way. Hollow, says the second, dulls the drone, and I miss it, the better than this weak wave tossing. Drilling focus on a directrix to crawl through to sleep but the black becomes a bar hedged by murky red gums and bleedstain teeth clenched along the vaguely pumping vein of the ceiling's better imitation of what I wished these purpling eyelids were. Sigh in lieu of a yawn in lieu of gasping for breath in lieu of a cry in lieu of a sigh in lieu of a scream in lieu of someone please speak for me so I need not. Slumped out of my cot, elbow braced the ground, crawled, pushed up to a stride. Steps and my not on them ascending. [[Breaths->mnight2]] roamed the deck faster than their cannon but equally aimless, angles weighted by whatever cognition sunk heaviest in my tinge of paralysis stumbles, the viscera of nonsleep thick in my mucus, one day will collapse under all this jilted termination never again to pretend.

Izquierda tilter pellmelled the purpling solder sparks of sealed world warped, forced shelter lit electric with denial before plunges quell hermetism. Spindles of fimbriated force majeure fell veils over veloped we. Combined into this seclusion completed a one, we who speak hints of unhorizon. [[Sibyls->mnight2]] of strangers to our noun nativity we diffract.

Into the shadow she emblazer lustrouslushed in my cavernous crawled I dredged from dreads my bleached neon calavera in the welter snowlight subserene dreamsight subrident macabre I luminously [[resplend->mresplend]] refract her lynxlike rumble purr: "Speaker of songs, what can you say of love in spun to isles lone?" Stupidest of words, how ridiculous it sounds to speak it, who can claim dignity after it drips from their lips stagnant, curling? Smash my – "On love? Of course! How could I not? What could be more primal and confused? The Literature brims with it." She briefly passed over me and caught how much? Her shoulders pushed her neck into her headspace lift and meteorlike slammed across my invisible, the night purled her proliferation. "Breaths united divergent to the voluminous hollow where await we the deconstruct combine, [[doomed->mdoomed]] embraces, derelict togethers of a dying pulse, yes, the despondency, the powerlessness, the joy's grief, who can emerge? Doyinu mye Ivni Julia, lovers destroyed by emptiness, Senenzu Ijiyasza, do you ring in this place? Why does your voice come to this heart?" I forced a bulb through the slime: "How can I hear through the silence?" A chill drew her inward. "We echo," she mumbled, "where we end..." Meanwhile a quiet caught the moonwhite in ghostly spindles through the gray block clouds as a single shaft shot through the heart of the world to let it release fallen to [[blossom->mblossom]] the blackness of the emerging stage, new world forming unspoken in the hiddenness shuddering with [[wishbelief->mwishbelief]] awaiting noise and color shocked to presence in words whitestreak jolting.

Sheltered in the nuance rippling unsure in how she phrased, framed within sine wave certainties, hearthulch gaps. Into the golden wan she wandered, elusively sphinxed to plush fever, sipping her moodwine drunk. Washsteps wobbled with the ship's shivers. Touched my face, peeked through fingers, slipped she pellucid gong hum through cranial defensives, lavishly voile in vortex psalm: "Generated are we twain to search this selfsame umbra aperture perfects, yet clade in cold horripilation one elation sharenvein, whom do we inject to project upon murky fantasia synseign? Invested thus, fellow traveler, do you hear where we share where this feeling reigns?" She who twirled the twilight like never would she drink it cease to savor. "I don't know if, you, if I..." "You don't know? Perhaps I do not either, shall we share this? In enough cancellations we combine upon some secret, you can taste its signet in our worry and cold." "I've little to share and less to give and all to take." "I don't believe you." "Huh?" "Because, in cinders akin, I said the same. You see how I drink skysleight. Shall I tell you the taste tonight?" I could not but hesitate exact a nod. "Hmm, then shall we how we seek are [[torn->memotion2]]? Which wode animates? Of whom do we spark? Ah, perhaps I, yes I, a poem I have felt in such a place as you, where shall we vertex." Glided under me feet as her voice ensorcelled gravita.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Our spark infusion shimmers dream Which frays us frozen phrase, in sighs [[Entombed->mentombed]] our vaunted, [[haunted->msacrificed]] theme We spiral scintillate, a soul As symbol rays we intrablaze, Amendless molten pyrouettes Who sing our [[burning->mkindled]] need to vie With quellciforms, his oubliettes To render libertas its frame, Our lord of preyer, flayer pry..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["In kiss caress attested souls [[Arrested->mentombed]] seethes elusion molts Duress cascades no hope consoles, The kismet kiss met [[kindling->mkindled]] Infernalizes touch to bolts Bright rippling across the skies That separate our unity, All priors cherished [[sacrificed->msacrificed]] For immolation halo lush Which gilds this cold our euphony..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Of Julia, this endless [[lost->msacrificed]], No warmth survives your radiance, No magnified where fierce embossed Your reigning fire [[kindled->mkindled]] truths, Ignited virtues gradients Of pure preact suffering Enacts where human acts cannot Suffice to selving, [[smothering->mentombed]], This air, so thin, my breath, so short, Yet still these throbbing thoughts unknot..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Destructive tendancy, believe The stars their golden [[drizzle->mkindled]] geist, Ascendancy eruptive, grieve The night its wanly [[sacrificed->msacrificed]], Their twain bereaver volts them spliced To summon spoken [[strangled->mentombed]] life, The fear that glears us focalized Enunciates the null, our strife So thundered thrashed to known as splits Ourselves to strained opposed as prised..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[""These glades reburn to [[zephyr->mlustrous]] myrrhs, Incense this death to play again As night undusks, the song restirs, My heart these scenes supplies its fear, In spring so calls the robin, wren, In orange spice immelmann turns These leaves these gales respin to flights To harvest moons our shadow yearns To meld in pulse of cosmic glow, This nature's hymn delight incites As trauma batters, breaks our holds, In shards rays our wish to live Evisced love no life enfolds, Infinity [[sublimity->msublimity]] Torrential shallows stills misgive..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Brilliance blue the day ahead Though gnashes bleaken night behind, A joy to hope our futures wed As pasts insist their haunts of wrath, The bow in glades that hunts the hind, But fears cannot your joys from me Diverge as blushes trill my gasps As each arresting lock lifts free In [[lustrous->mlustrous]] frames despair's inks Forever fail besmirching. Rasps Intensify behind us, growls That grow to gnarl rosethorn moons; Your smile sundering the howls Erupts elopes in [[prism->msublimity]] cheer Enchanted shearshell shines typhoons, These lashing acid rains erode This mortal meaninglessness, kiss Against an enemy's corrode, Betrayal bitterness that sweeps Abyssally beneath this reminisce..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Our futureless in seeping freeze, Constraining limbs reducing rich Expressives live against the breeze To memory’s delightless pale Simulacrum deforming lich Deforming passion's powers, loss That steals the guise that guiles day, That shrivels juice of fruits' winegloss, Ah, dread denial destiny, Who rings your false resound, defray, Return the taste to touch that thrills The cusp of bliss [[immaculate->msublimity]] Immediate, illude that trills The captive sense oneiric rapt, [[Artysm->mlustrous]] sense inaccurate..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Spellbinds soulmates to truths two share In which I lived, she gleaming thrived, Moonbeams whose prisms flung her hair A wave brunette against the garnet night, So lustrous scar this heart revived That vivifies what breaths compose That soft ignites our starry way, The truth true loves [[fauxpresuppose->mfauxpresuppose]]: Religion moments, faiths thereof, For hearts against the [[graying->mgraying]] day That form a single symbol. Hymns Immerse us whole in holy lights To blind against kismet's whims So hope can thrive to show us saved By truths beyond [[marauder->mmarauder]] rites Surpassing surface sleights' ellipse Which passes pause's sanctity The tantalizing hour our lips Induce to spell this flesh to fruit, To beautify solidity..."]

They're in there in your skull all the time inescapable. You are built of whispers. Quivering anxious thirsting each new stimulus will [[not->mdulled2]] ignite, will simply sink in charge, faintly electric ripply awaiting [[next->mstart3]] new pulse for your being to bear out its fire.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["But butterflies escape my sighs. Awake beneath the truths unviews Torrential dematerialize That vaunts the null to neutralize The blush that beams our human hues Denied by hells in legions' chase Pursuing her hands I hold as eyes Elude, refusal [[gazes->mher]] place The seeds on beds beneath our feet For blossoms [[trickle->mgraying]] lost in cries..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["We flow, we go, we dry in scenes: This [[rose->mher]] is gnarling to oak; I wilt so worn with worried miens These [[butchers->mmarauder]] beat despair to mares Their gallops rider's rage evoke…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Humanity mine my meld of pierce Moonstruck her patience pathless poised, Upon these crossroads queenly fierce Directs she me a magic plash To firefly magenta voiced, Enbathed in [[bloodstream->mmarauder]] berylline Across my shivers zephyr ziev To summon self from [[phantom->mfauxpresuppose]] sheen And mutual inweave the way We gleam in wreatheds we apperceive As faced, our form to sieve the whorl, Accord of breathed brocade to paint This air in spellush sleeved as floral Fantasias silkly leaved to bloom Delightly silveries to saint Our touch to prayer where psalms are stilled, Invidious a vault lair drear To swallow every olden [[rilled->mgraying]], Dread primacy of primal springs She shadows diamonds, veersion clear..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["I met [[her->mher]] long ago in peace: A page, nigh nineteen, knightly brave For brother more to mail cerise, Of wounds adept I served the cur, Compressor brute of malice grave, Dread drovers sheering mishaps, To small missteps so heavy price, These lodestar lurids' oozesaps Engender blubble biles runs Of ruined souls, a morde of vice..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["From viceous respite rarity Allowed my wearied worn to slink To sleep in copse prosperity, A butterfly repose in hues So strong they sung to me your brink, Reclined in royal garden glades, Where flowing thistle thickets sway Where sunlight glory softly blades She, [[conqueror->mconqueror]] reposed, a [[grin->mgrin]] Encoursed a heart entranced to ray Of wanderwillful, listened long To bliss her purls gems entranced, I dwelt in wonder's sweep along, I built within this need's reply And soared with every thought romanced..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["To play my lute's nigella strings And hymn your boundless back to you, Your battle blush outshining [[kings->mbledmarked]] That loveless stay so somber stern, Your laugh the hardest hearts subdue..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["From lips like red celosia Your dreamwine pours to earthencare A mind that paints utopia In troubled twilit [[bledmarked->mbledmarked]] lands, A heaven architect, a prayer..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["We dance [[reflet->mreflet]] belonging wrong, We [[waste->mwaste]] upon the [[wracks->mwracks]] bereaved Of gods! How ghastly scowls the throng Not fifteen paces past, those shades Whose grinding jaws would lovers cleave! Your father, iron lord of wars, A merchant king that deals in dead And jangles [[ghouls->mghouls]] to grasp what soars, Commands his hordes of [[hellions->mhellions]] Our bonds to break. Distraught, we fled Across the winding lands. They gallop chase In spits and gurgles growling harsh, So swift we speed in shocked embrace Afraid, their howls a hurricane, From grimy, [[slushing->mslushing]], trudging [[marsh->mmarsh]]..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["The hounds announce the closing gaps. Our destiny resurgent robs Resolve, my aching strides elapse, My chest a dynamo of gasps, My sight deflates, my hearing [[throbs->mdie2]], I squeeze your hand: it keeps me strong. Your touch decrees my poise, Your kiss my mind replays along The bumpy road we glide from dales Vermilion to jungle noise..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["In hacks that slime to mushy sloth, To hills where crescent fountains tryst, On iridescent wings of moth Colossi trailing fulgent dust, To silent glades, to swamps in [[mist->mdie2]]..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["To infinitely rising earths With peaks in snowy locks becrowned, Volcanic heights [[erupting->mdie2]] births With lava spurts, the fiery rains On valleys brown before the mound..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["To slickened underworld wastes, To stretching seas' refulgent blues, Through burning sands in parching hastes, And all the wayward road we beat With fear, with peace, a [[mixing->mdie2]] muse..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["To stretching prairies gold with grains, To craters [[gutting->mdie2]] ranges sprawled Across a vega wintry veins, Where glimmers lance auroral frosts Of skyless tundra glacier palled..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["For [[die->mdie2]] we might to brutal chance, Your father's furious pursuit, Yet still is blessed circumstance That once we lived and loved alike: Our tears cannot our tales dilute. A spirit thrives in memory, The warmth where dwells the swells of scenes, A life is built exemplary Upon a mirth that never fades: We bleed to learn what wounds we mean..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["The beating wings harass my mind, Our grips now loosening the hope, Our plunging forms are pleading blind, Two dartstrikes shooting forth through filth: To frigid pitch we swift elope And lock our eyes though [[turbid->mdie2]] green Occludes the contact, sickly veils Obscuring love from love, a sheen So harsh reality enforced, But soft, the glance connects and sails Away our souls to groves embalmed With being, autumn leaves in arcs Emitting thoughts, our breaths becalmed, Your head, my chest, a heartbeat sings The soul we share, the moment sparks..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["With dreams aloft in ornate clouds Our futures never born, entranced Imaginations building crowds Believed, not seen, what could, what should, What never comes, our fates enhanced. Our joys the vales [[rejoice->mrejoice]], avowed Our tears with rains, our smiles write In clouds their hidden skyward shroud: The hazy pinks with azure zips Are whispers warning coming flight In furtive gossips that glare our way, Distrustful coughs, we intermix. Your brother shuts the door, no ray Illuminates: confronting shoves A fist, a punch, a knife outflicks. There's blood, oh Julia, the room Is dark, the night so deathly still, Unearthly quiet reigns, a gloom; A serpent's hiss is every step; A screaming owl, the windowsill. I slip to you as specters heed. The shadows watch, the ghosts await. Eruption crimson stains my deed On me, a corpse unshakeable. The [[demons->mdemons]] hawkish perch elate, Your tears my tears entwine aghast, How fervently we fought our fate Where wretched rules this terror vast The nothing nulls [[entelechies->mentelechies]], Our misery our maker state..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Escape my grasp forever. Cry No more, my love, the pain is past, My present doom alike: I die In hooting packs of hellions, But hark, you curs, what shall outlast: You shred this cloud but not its snow, Your [[blur->mblur]] has not this [[blaze->mblaze]] erased, Immortally merged moments grow Where bodies break then filigree To endless love embrace encased. No iron king can claim us killed, No vicious father claims his prize. His gold becomes temorals willed, But hence, [[eternal->meternal]] shine is mine: He holds his dust; I greet her eyes."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["And cursing time for binding links It rends asunder, suspension's rush Demise erupts in blanch desyncs, To isolates bespoken souls Whose nature lies alone in hush, We strove our sermon purpose, night Negators rose we fleeting dawns That shone symbolic theses recondite In tremulous [[vivavox->mrejoice]], Reliefs retaining light, icons..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Against the gulfs that gain upon Us swiftly gurgleglurping spores, Foul fomentors, feverspawn That sling upon our dreams a dross. We splash across a river's roars: A talon grabs at me to prise My touch from yours, to ripping wrenched I flow, our [[separation->mrejoice]] flies Diverging paths, our touchness tense Decouples, fingers cold and drenched..."]

Selflet strings tremolo to hush. Meluoi parabolically from me found refuge from the accumulated recoil in blank nooks while I besieged the seas with fever volleys demanding postresolve calm. On the night wind [[blew->mstart9]], the mundane's icicle reminders, what fluttered untransformed by our inner fantasy, our [[innate->manoemidity]] formations foaming counterwash to cascade the ship as astride the earth bursting, the phantasms that purple our eyelids' whorls teasing a theme they almost will but never will assemble in the icy plucks and lava plumes our heartstrings tune.

Trembles and a coldness in the throat transferring, raw running as they flew thrilling with their kiss, a whole history transmitted between two total enclosures here on the wind canvas, emotion wheels bestowed their blood to engender in motion an easel, a happiness and horror so purely unto itself that outside dilution crumbled inert particulars separate of every being in mire [[inescapables->mstart9]] as loves thread silken and undersylvan barely visible to rest in the magnificence of a [[numen->manoemidity]] inlurking riddlewreathed spheres flush with united never halves, a goliath of meaning which cannot be distilled, and sweating perforce I shook beneath the deluge inenvited in which aftermathed mixing congeals of vibrant beyond mes constructed statesignificatory statues carved to universal polyvalence, idols worth their art offerings, as art is worship to the quivers beneath communication.

Meluoi's expression ashed. Exhale, what trawled my skin for forever, refreshing breath. "Who dribbles crimson over demise empires? Who are these that sail the [[ocean->manoemidity]] but never delve it, why? The glittering sunship lightshades us with fey sails, but still we less and less subsist its [[sparkness->mstart9]], slowly fizzle mimicking the stone's sterility..." A space sized for me, but I did not fill it. Too empty to fill anything, or too filled to empty myself of blurring, or...

"We who from nowhere crawl through the earth and emerge in mud screaming emission human in only our barred bone ensouligating us from the rain exospellical. Why do I say anything to you when all I want is for you to scream what my tongue cannot trill? I am not Veda, not truly, you must understand, but merely so, and it is that that they seem to need to call Veda. Why is it so easy to go through life by lessening it, where is the longing, the knowledge that this life never was yours to live, you have stolen it as a jewel from a void vengeful whose legions pound mortality's arrhythmic echo ending, and we can choose to race away from those chasing immense not us, and we have to, we need to, how blessed, how wonderful any briefly creation, how nihilating this creation, how contemptible humanity is unless imbued with what it never must be. We are at war, even if it is our duty to lose." I opened my mouth in expressive shapes, but whole city blocks had sprung up on the grooves of my tongue and winding through it, tight intricate Vyekana: hovering mouth open, confused, swallowing the sandy spit. "Emnino, where is the rain? Where is the sun? What is the eye, how shall it see? Where is, but where are we?" "I," looked up at the stars again, was there any will to spill on so gorgeous a stage? "Do not stifle yourself with the need to speak. I am only pushing you, you who are so invisible along these waves." Pause to seagulls whine. "When we come upon the Tower, where shall we go within it? Where do you wind where we walk? I cannot tell you and would not could I. We're students of those who hum through silence, Emnino, disciple tremblers approaching beyondness of the panorama into the divine particulars, a journey that enriches along its everprogress. Have you worshiped the gods before, Emnino? To whom do you hearken in your moon's melodies?" "I uh, no, no I..." Meluoi's flawless fluidity hitched, elbow tic. In a breath, resumption. "No gods?" Mutter, not a question. "Nobody um, mentions them. People say, gods, or, the gods, but not who, or what, or why." Whist in the way she grasped the bar. However hard it hit her, her bend blended the rupture to rhythm. "The gods of the Ivaeli, your landers as you say, are, you see, they, the theyness, the whom whom precedes the whom, nonliteral abstractions of existence in its wild tangibility, the beyond by which the inert exact is, the fabric from which we forms are cut. Every moment is the human response to the presented occurrence. When we make choices, we channel ourselves as response, in reaction. The gods are the zero; we are the seconds after. Imagine a river; you know what a river is, yes? Ah, your wisdom bespeaks so much latent in your mode. If existence is a river, then the gods are the rushing of the waters, they exist in streaming as preseverance act, and we are what is rushed along with it in the second we are both immersed and motive emerging. They are not empty initial causes, a mistake many young Yamicz make in their push to withsoulin. Avatars incarnate of godhood multiplicity of elision by which [[incorporation->mincorporation]] constructs individuation in its context allow our becoming as they. As conduits, we are more than the multiply, the consummate. Plunged into a moment, submerge to the nadir: splash forth from the second surface into the new vertical that may hang above you your worshiped stars. In your second of inundation, be a torch! If you want to follow the path of these poems, then you must not bow before anything but that which bends your knee for you. The gods are our love but not our beloving: this is the poetic gap. Alone with a devotion we weep our cell cosmic. In the flow maxima, we crest our violence to fleeting heaven. Do you understand this, Emnino? You must [[understand->munderstand]]. It is imperative for you to understand."

"How shall I know what is true, when you sing beyond where I can understand?" "Truth? No, you mistake me. Why should we desire truth, denizens of a falsen world, falsen ourselves? Nothing we do is true, our lives are lies, this mission is a legend. We wring from the torpor tales where never will truth entracte. We play out our falsities to fray interpolated lines in quest to cull ourselves gyre from whose violence a null may arise true to justify us enlaced the necessity beneath truth. Truth becomes of us inevitably, whether we prove false or true." Meluoi. "You’re speaking in circles." "Not quite, speaking in circles cut, cannot quite connect again. We have been abandoned Emnino, unrecoverable is our nature, nor have we left it nor has it left us, only the cut, we cannot arc but fray, there the freedom deviates us an abandon. I do not ask you understand what is elemental within you, contrasequence, rather you must multiply the unstabilities to disemblance, whichever journey leads from there." "But you said I had to, to understand, and if..." "Ah yes, perhaps I did? What does it matter to we who miraculous glazier leila?" Tingling through us a plasma spilled out through pores in fizz trails neon on the softening senses that let us lift into her frieze still wet on portals in air stretched serpentine as a bellow beneath hearing billowed bigger portals above her which seemed to raise her until in scattershot radiance it ruptured sprinkling gold on the floor and my face and the waves lapping so that we landed in bodies redashen entwined by sapphire ribbons fluttering bonds upon clamor chills of tense in our trance our together within what trickled seen and not seen through lacework leaves beneath which in the raindrench seadrench of a difference who really was aware of anything but the tongue we share for the thought we share, depth in a mutual chest [[surging->mstart9]] through this thought.

"Why must I? What does it matter what I can understand?" "Why does it! Never mind that. You have to be careful, Emnino. This is a dangerous world, might smite us one day in our arrogance, in our ignorance it will. Live seconds invested in the fragility of motion. You must know that when you die, the world will roll on worse for having held you, that our existence is the exception, and only in our rupture do we design our rule annul. We make why we should not have been. Our tragedy is ours to write throesnody to our death. Trust that doom need to tend your fragility upon this as if frozen. We are blinking in and out listeners of eon drone. Listen, ply yourself into the esprit, but know your throat will close and yet cool the quaver keeps its passage. You must not be like the others, Emnino, you must perceive through the ephemeral phenomena to the imperative our impenetrable birth bears, you must exist in relation, this is why your allowing yourself to be captured by the Literature is so inestimably important, because you are willing to die exist into another inner leading to the hollows from which we each fractally extend. Whetted but unsullied beneath plumes scorched mark in testament to their truth, douse your body in alterior oil anointing to lighthouse alongside us vigils to the void's shivering. One day will the gods flood us as before they have, and you must know, you must prepare. You have been plucked by the gods to play in our destiny, but what role destining where whose will? Shall it be your touch in your fingerprint upon our universal crime? If so, you must prepare; that's what these Towers are, our preparations, but its ramparts have been scaled, the wolds have crept in yellowing howls. You would think living in a sarcophagus would leery one of death, but look about you: who has arisen against this hour?" Scraped my right palm with dagger fingers. "Afraid of ourselves and the nothing equality." "Perspicacious! I can see the contours of what you won't divulge. Tend to that knowledge until it blossoms. This is why it matters that you understand, your tree shall shade the desert sole in our century vigil. There is so much that needs to be. So frightened of placing ourselves upon the altar and hearing what cry rushes from our closing throat, we shiver at the thought of passing through our thought's shibboleths, and as long as we allow this, for the entirety of our era of accepting living, heaven will hide itself, hell will shelter in reality's heaving, and no outer [[welter->mstart9]] will weld this wound which keeps us beating to a finish this hour as it passes in what have we really lost." Febrile brittle animation stutters cooled sighs in the maze of its decay. Out there in the hyacinth mix of sea and sky seemed the song of a naiad muted. Shapes lurked in the inscrutability. "Can I hear the poem again?" Felt muzzled felt the chuckled reply, soft white noise. "Your voice asking is its own answer. My solemn duty is to rehearse to who needs. As the gods are aware of everything, must we pray our purpose to each passing chance." Lantern flinging oscillating gouache on a melting press she swung her head on a slow neck sway to a dreamy smile which drew me forth as we both shut our eyes in the other power.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter IX''] --- Crystal shrill shadow revolve of the rage squall thrusts us all to the sea which arcs in in aquamarine pulses to steal us said the mind unspeakable as the storm hints its. Sailbeaten by the buffeting, icy tints planar rushing along the rocking and the quivering. Rain accompaniment soaked sea and sky single aquatic repose of a plunging [[angel->mangel]] descry. Swung in the ropework shapes of Mazyu and Mariena etched, sole low energies in the whirling crunching to a single point to hide the expansive lie, black dots eyeballs punctures of the flanging fangs of the [[galefane->mgalefane]] geist. Focus on these knuckles, rein in, fling out, soakchilled [[drenched->mdrenched]], reel them, throw them, find it somewhere, breath. The hurt keeps the time. Grating teeth as the flesh of my cheek swallowed my eye. Smashing hull waves. I recanted to a leaning crouch, but respoke into the cyclone question, in the ropework, on this ship, to the [[yet->myet]]... //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

In the fizzle and deluge shrieked sizzling waves nearly jade with the blazebright. Welterwing wanderer muscles tensed braced the wondrous despair pummeling in soaks and staggers. Creaking croaking rumbling soaked. Bleeding out of raw palms chafed on rope hairies tugged to rugburn. Unblinks salivate the eyes to distress singes arms cannot outwipe, arm hair bristling, disgusting, disgusting, hate my arm, hate this face, itch insides, rubbing my eyelid insides, scratch cornea howl. Phantasmal bolts embrilliance the shutblacks an angelic, through the pain I pierce open to see her beyond all lines I can hold. Mazyu tugs at his [[line->mline]] screaming. I try to reply but I can’t see, can’t see, knocked to my knees. Drenched.

Trusswork not yet ready to surrender groaned a pneumonia I could never thoroughly hack. Hard tilt, so I [[swung->mline]] Mazyu aft to regain sternsail. Listen to the squall, don't you hear her? Mutter butterflies alighting on a hard to see stamen which tunneled right through my iris. Nave need not to hear the vault return a hymn. Exactly on death's lurking the pattering out undefined finish in which one could...

Thunder clapped over the boiling ocean. Water vapor sizzled sacrificial bloodtrails. A lurch in the chest accompanied the wave onto my knees, rude snap pain prevented me up for several minutes on. I swiped at the lines from my shocked shins kneel unsure. Slanted rain, the slits through which piecemeal obscurities overlaid the rainclod gray thickened to bombardments, icy stones engendering in the froth as the air emotion expressed a harder hitting hate to force us to dissipate beneath its ire, how I wished I would, wouldn't, must not, not yet. Aural despots screechbeating tempos with scepter thunder reeled hihats the temptation to snap at the ligaments, struggle not to blow away blocked my sweat which sideerupted to shivering, redcold nose, under the pressure and push and shove of the relentless capitulate, bare your chest and demand wounds, but as the fury burned licking blurred heaven I held the [[line->mline]], never let go of this line would I, I defiant over this one breath pressed in these lungs tight, taut, boiling. Lifestain sullying the universal hush annihilated in one slate clean. I spluttered as my head smashed on a splinters crown. It is too hard, too hard, too hard, untense. Birth implies an axis, and where in the swing is the dance? Somewhere must be ground and will find I.

Splinter on a moment, the pull onwards. Flung obscured by the mist and motion of hey! The constant [[throwing->mline]] way the world imitates the heartbeat it hates. Under the crush the world a seam rupturing yellow, this rising depth might as well swallow. Could I go, go, but who would it be who goes, sin in what you are until you cease as you; lost in the unholy gulf, shove towards neither shore: drown, and bring the whole depths down with you. I scrabbled up to the stance I was given to stare up at its inherent limited to challenge why, who, immolate me in the fear and forming crowd so that our spirits might phoenix a form more fit for panegyric essences, but the storm smashed me down back, but shouting I strained afresh to my feet, held, held my breath hoping it might hold the rest...

Mazyu's [[hoarse->mhoarse]] pulled my neck to lip over the edge to peer at his slammed into sternmast. What he said [[steamed->msteamed]]. A gorge in the ocean ripped open to foreground the delitescent horror edging for final release as mines in every thought forced me to stay stranded in its shelving form, jegu in the sleet, the hail. Danger perspired [[zips->mzips]] knifing a face which felt black and white. "Kapinya's, Kapinya's ho!" Mariena's pitch fluttered above the torrent briefly. Clothes so dampened I hauled oceans on each wrist flick. The strain, this strain, pain in the upholding of where I am [[blotted->mblotted]] so named...

Mazyu's rope rapped impatiently on its creaking hold. Rolling dorsally in my hand it slacked. Fix, fix, but each swing of his line astrayed him further, more muscle [[asserted->mroared]] the mark, straining harder not to recant the mark, tug, come on, tug, why won't you! He needed to switch lines, only way to, I lunged gullet first to a lateral vision of the world in which he shook as a splotch in a shadowy and croak shouted: "Mazyu, Mazyu hey!" There was no reply. Urging myself louder by barreling my chest as far as possible: "Mazyu! Can you hear? Mazyu, post, hey!"

Desiccated in the torrent I choked. Deafening gale obscurant caked like white frost on a pane. Distance muffled blares rose like vapors from the deck; were they orders I had no hope of following, sequestered in the cloud of the bellowing storm; upward drifting, these sounds hung, as about my feet the thunder [[roared->mroared]], as above my head the thunder echoed. I had only to fall beneath the gray matte churn and their words would weigh underworldly heavy with sense, and the storm would, after the agony, dissipate to an eraless of the bare patter unadorned, precious invisible.

Jaufr tripped before me gurgling bloodclots then worminched his broken body thrusted up and down. Guttural curses [[discharged->mroared]] from a foaling mouth. Did Kaiya linger in the unlit? What would they whisper? The door closed. Their mouths glowed. I felt it in my skin.

Racket [[frantic->mfrantic]], lots of shapes pointing. Mechanically I swiveled my neck following. Barely visible in the screaming sea massive and goreglut broke in a white plume the [[jegu->mjegu3]], discordant mouths blurbling the hunter's dirge. In a faded pearl barrage the jegu blitzed to the windward bulkhead, a thickness tearing through the congested heaving, cascades seething wake. The howls tapestry ripped open and the wave wall debouched in buckshot shapes. Dim correlate of the unresistable power unwanted, the force of presentality with a bang the sound of alien batholiths clashing in a planetary collide hit the bulkhead [[pitching->mpitching]] the ship dangerously leeward and threatening the capsize, but it rolled up unbroken. Skewed by the yaw the ship aimed off towards the distance, waymarkers of finalities fizzling in and out of the fray: we could just sail, leave our [[human->mhuman]] dreams behind.

I tugged, tugged, threw, blew my nerves shut to shunt all blood into one pull so that everything with it might go free. Plenty of shouting I knew was at me. Tension of the body broken to a heave. Mariena landed on maintopsail as Mazyu dizzying rode the gale spiral, he, helpless, and Mariena struggled with the sail, but the sails aslack would not, not, tight wind matrices [[fatelocked->mimplaceable]] us...

Bruised the churning winterdark a flush of turbids flung skewers unbounded the beast stereoscopic upon panorama sepias, rougehaze lahars battered to lacerated convocated its screech we in dripskin recoils interpolate. Clubber floop of metal and ooze spun us dizzy to droop eyeballs into throat, hard swallow of salt and vitreous. Metal clunked to incrash. Shouts stalked to snap in gale [[thrashthresh->mimplaceable]]. Slobbering at the lines to hold, cannot, can feel my knuckles bluing...

Again blast, tilt afresh, looming sea eddyfroth surging riptide. Could so easily drip into, be lost inside. Clinging we to beams and burdens to weep ourselves counterstorm. Slurried about my ankles. Uncertainty thrumming the brain to verve alive to flaunt before [[voids->mimplaceable]], cathedral quiet allure. Brine between teeth crunches the sour. Which world are we and which the jegu, so opposed, so our encounters reeling away? Shall we ferrous bind inside the fray compass of a new forth? Stumblesnapped like knees glass crashed.

Despair the consciousness roving threatened to wright me terrain, my skin encasing lahars sludging a self, but in the stormrip ushered I a spirit me, is it real, what is it to be realized, why not let the wind free me and the earth free of me, stand, hold, hold in the hope of this position matters, that's all I want, need, will let go when at last the holding on has meant in the search of this impossible against the universal ruining implacably [[implaceable->mimplaceable]], in this consonant dissonance I drove this shape to seethe into the fulcrumic mirror forcing its reflection in every direction as the world slipped sideways to shake me out, wondering why was I gripping so hard, why must we try to address this formululation?

Hull boom. Tentacles writhed feverishly across the deck, the jibs, broken glass shards gloamy in the hurricane fog, explosion's seargales ongushing dizzied me. Planing out on the nest stricken horizontal by the gust I seemed split apart as snap went the mast, down went the world with the back of my skull in tow. Mazyu's line tugged, slacked, heard Mariena scream, the timbre I recognized. Wheeling screech of pelted steel. A sudden hush sunk us, black supernova: the musk of [[Kapinya's->mstart10]] dank and dreary mewled the coda.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter X''] --- Pallor stalks sinewy lanes crepescular with moans. Hollowness of self precipitates hollowness of place. [[Differences->mdifferences]] beneath which [[sameness->msameness]] breeds bespeaks why I wish we could shelter in capsules exclusions from dimness overwode. Sea wind wallowed afterhowls on graybrick Docks slumped to slop in laps. Our ship dripped [[shimmers->mshimmers]] of outer welter sharps. [[Stevedores->mstevedores]] simply stared, sentinels nonsparked by non to bear. Myeri his saber flashed, [[seeker->mseeker]] of sunlight [[errants->merrants]], drinker of [[wanblood->mwanblood]] witchery. We relented a line corraled, why not, how could there be time in yesterday morass? //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Light pours in from the windows, covers us, we become it. Sainted sameness of breath gilded, their faces dyes in water [[mixflow->mstart11]] the emotion I cannot express. I reach out to them and feel soft dark, slowly close my fist around it, pet my palm its plush. They by the window are lit and I no longer lean forward, listen to the rasp of gentle metal, cool kiss of rust, ironworks abandoned and [[dream->msleep]] filled lush. Smoke auraed in how colors taper to wan afterimages as I process deeper into silence ringing in my ears like singing. Stillness in my chest, electric eyes, I vulb unto chasms hidden in languid spare, echo there, rumbled into voice, light splatters, we slurry into drained. I strainsper sorries to waterfall veil of broken vase. For too few of hope, so much intention thwarted.

"Once yeah in depths I saw it as can you imagine, like I was the first to breathe, or would but had not yet learned, so primordial [[oozed->mlanguid]] the skycolors, woken to elder tones this yellow rippling emerging from chthonic [[oscillating->mreplayed]] each direction a sun in flush never to settle to night. Gemstone you could watch widen its [[brilliance->mlife]], ah, like I was immersed in a painting to witness the brush [[daub->msemblances]] sparks that slithered into the sheen. This being precious to a world I did not know, wonderhope, elsebliss. Transit of perfect through my [[flawed->mjaufrei]] to illumine new coordinates where I could emerge perfect, if I could but swimfollow, radiate in a capture I could not ken capacity, breathe a medium a new..." [[Jaufr->mselfish]]. "And to think we just wring out and kill! We are the worse, it is us, the [[unwakes->mstart3]] we leave behind."

Dancing between rafters, laughing the heartjolt throatlump of could fall but do not. Threat warmglow feels us infinitely safe to scintillate. "Great to know you eh, each time a new jealousy," I huff after tottering her leap graceful. "Be pursed soon as I gauge to sell them, real market that, desire pure, flavored to whichever envy electrifies your hollows." I. "I'll undercut you, sell a bit of my leap for a few nights' tizzy, best it would do me." Imeni. "Nah, nobody wants to leap, they want to want to leap, yearn for [[radiating->mshimmers]] chestfeel of not good enough before magnificence, even the littlest magnificences you drizzle, if you'll allow me to undercut ehh." "I'll cultivate it up, get a rabble of yearners and drizzle them, nurture them, harvest them, bring them to market. We'll make a job if it lah, so's the good of any wonder, and this is a wonder hey?" She leapt. "Ah careful now, you'll skip to Kapinya's, then I'll really have enough envy to flood us afresh." "Would negative me lor, I'd hate to travel, worst part of voyage is elsewhere." "Disillusion of just same but worse because not even yours?" "No, disillusion of actuality, lessen of imaginative borders. Insofar as Kapinya's is elsewhere, I can fill it; if I get there, I'll simply find it filled, then where will I refugee my dreams? More the map to fact, less to fantasy. Why then even [[travel->mseeker]]? I suppose if you saw the world, you'd just return home. Save yourself the trouble and voyage endless!"

Rush of new impressions I cannot intake, too may constantly impressions until so malleated a planished I irreducibly smooth resist, cannot be touched shell. How to keep amending amidst all these endings? Mazyu is, he's, and I just can't feel any grief, I've been emptied of emptying's sting. [[Dizzy->mwanblood]] need to sleep a century before I could again feel. Trudge procession of griefs like work, barely asleep from last night's toil before klaxons the next. Guilt relief of being already guilty, what else can you accuse? And yet it's Mariena who must, I, she, she who helped when I was wounded in kabiknu, she, anyone who ever does anything nice to me I brutalize, I am sickness infectious. What shall I do, douse her sleeves more sorries? Every additional anguish dulls the [[migraine->mshimmers]] til you weather stonely.

Shadows ever upon the edge to pull you into swallow sense us ferried already, what further purpose can they teem upon our borne to barren [[aboves->merrants]]? We bring ourselves, so there is nothing to take. "When I was out to poles," Gyadalta, "used to envy sailors their tanned stories, would dream backstories to each crate, an idea in each barrel. Now I've sailed myself scarred and redolent of no aura, suppose I envy these ones the stories dreamed in beds, a world behind each drink. Course, were I out there among them, none of it would amount to much more than demanding nostalgias of my sailing, wistfulness of aged, regaling ourselves envious as we [[slump->mwanblood]] and wait. Strange element of us lor, always [[fantasizing->mdifferences]] the next, suppose it's a way to cope with the now, we'll adapt to any battering so long as there's a gap to myth." "Dunno, I've always to the gig, it's a good one, meditative, rhythmic bearing of gifts," Mylecz. "Made me feel grateful and awed, yeah it's hard work, but you steal away to peek in, maybe snatch a paw, see what secrets you've purloined. Fascinating job truly. If you were unhappy with the stevedore, is perhaps it's you mate." "Yeah maybe it is me, but I've lived when those I grew with died, so maybe there is to me a truth worth the thought."

Held beneath Myeri's [[wringing->mwringing]] we dried to his [[threshed->mthreshed]]. Sharp [[incuts->mincuts]] we on Kapinya's gloom ooze.

"But why can't you? Is it me? Have I -" Imeni. "No no, it's not, it's more that like just, I can't, it's not -" I. "Do you, do you mean like [[physically->mheard]], you can't?" "No, I mean, I can, [[physically->msurface]], or well, that's why I, but I can't -" "Why though, why not?" "Because, um..."

What is the value of a word when who speaks it? I relented to Myeri's callous fire. "Sailors, when we lose our own, the sting's poison pierces, its throbs circulate, shall never subside, but more violent than the venom must we thrash forth in fear of these first four of the rest of history's preceding over what is done daily in its name, account each moment to the pain we feel for our fallen. Their sacrifices bind us unto our own. Consecrating pilgrimage to their shrine shall we ferry our souls to whichever shore awaits. What deaths fear immortals?" What we say does not reach their ears, evanescent stories unaddendable. Thickening solitude. Bear this blessed black, you dear deceased. Do not listen but simply hold this care, this longing for you and your longing long gone. Wish I to whisper to the voice which will not say it back, do not need an answer, just need to know if in death they still hear the questions. Irreducible is the weight of a story, and that weight is what I must let crush, remove not the face to redress the skeleton beneath, to erase their crags in patterns, Kaiya unrepayable, crush spine submission to debt, the pressing divide solidified, suffocated as in cave collapse seeking where in this underearth her truth better breathes. They are dead, and you are stuck. Burdened not with memories: possessed with souls. "We strive for victory, and so shall we do! Those that die shall be party to our grandeur: when the Submergence is revealed in our assembled, they will be forever in our forever. Our sendings percuss our triumphs as we labor upon our united sepulcher, our successful voyage!" I just want to hold you and whisper this, and everything wrong with that feeling I will bear as penance for the wish. "Now, some of you have been asking why, if we are headed to the Submergence, we have first elected to venture to Kapinya's Tower. The answer is elegance itself: the Veda must, before making the voyage to the Central Sea, consult with their colleagues at the top of this Tower, a grand reunion bridging centuries across our decay, a moment crushing time's disparity in our larger act of the same. Much forgotten knowledge lies in their sacred libraries, and necessary research is prerequisite to understand our hour's apparitions. I know many of you have never ventured above civilized Floors and may be afraid to do so, but be courageous, brother sailors! Banish the specter of doubt from your minds. Find suffrage in your chance. To be great, you must slay great demons; to be renowned, you must overcome the task renowned; and to be remembered, to be a member of our fateful crew and venture to the Submergence, you must first climb these steps. So let us not dwell on the unpleasantness of our task, of the danger it portends: let all such thoughts merely bolster your resolve, and let us go forth unhindered. "Pyevi! You command the shipguard; watch over our vessel, strike down the degenerates who seek to subvert our purpose. In your ranks shall be Reikka, our poet of this day more esteemed, whose uh, talents, are best retained here; Imeni, who remains in need of some, care; Mariena, also at your glorious command; and Doubo, who is better suited, for this task, than ours. May valor kin our trials! "The rest of you I shall need with me. We venture forth tomorrow dawn. Let cowardice marry lateness, and their spawn will burst out our absolute anathema. Who of you without our fame regained shall return to your empty lives not broken men? Rest not too late, nor, too else, for [[tomorrow->mtomorrow]] is our history!"

"Sailors, [[tomorrow->mtomorrow]] we climb the impossible, we ascend to sun glory, heights beyond seasight, dwelling of our Veda in which shall we infuse spirits. This quest consumes us to potential, ascends us to identity potency, apex we acquire through sweat and strain, through danger and terror, in each Staircase we ascend sings a higher community, a layer of signification superior to our bred to beneathness. If any of you fear the fury and majesty, flee now, scurry into your forever overshadowed! For the rest of you trothed to our becoming, assemble yourselves in this center to assume upon the morrow, bring forth your desire devisers, discover who you are in history: miss not your time now it is nigh! "Rest this night, sailors, you shall be given now your first and base of payments, but those who seek to earn greater a glory, tomorrow, tomorrow, greet us thenceness here, upon the morrow seekers shall we sublime!" When we had fought to the precipice of youth and resolve we whispered ideas we thought might be our value. A future can be tossed on anyone, but the future we will never get to live can only be shared with one who will be there in either. Divorced to a new world with no contours which fit the shapes in which who I have been to be has sheltered, the themes solely remain on my tongue, I must carry them, it is I who, who, and I am ashamed it is, because nothing I ever do will conjure the dead to their conclusion, so why have I been left in their shadow, and what does that compel me to attempt? Who am I supposed to be when weighted down by better death? Olyasz went around handing everyone a few coins. Cool tink on palm. "Look out there, Emnin, can you see in the darkness, the shape?" Kaiya. "This dark is what the light has left unlit this hour. You can see how much lies in there just waiting for a lamp. Maybe one day when it brightens it will show the mural completion of these fragments we fail to make sense of." You make my sense, Kaiya. You made. I don't understand anything since.

Voicing fate in the names. In the silt of the still dim Docks we stood a haphazard line, some hands folded, some heads down, in the shade askew and aslant still staring at the sea. Funeral gray pronunciations: Teminu, Kaiya, Jenyelle, Mazyu. Pressed tongue frozen in failure of a hum. On some kind of soaring Myeri declared that Reikka had prepared a poem, and I bunched my fingers to a fist. Wreathing the crowd, orange smoke. Wayward longing for the gone absorbed the faces in a single mass. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Saccharine crackling to snap lacquering Sadness seems to sweep us to weeps…"] Reikka spoke her beauty, and isn't it our absolute tragedy that no one shared it? Something in her gunking sunk my soul to my stomach where acids withered it sickflush. Ire's only truth is what melts in its fire. Hate this speaking if your ruthlessness sears it, but we are all wringing life from living utterly lifeless, devoid shamblers slamming cellar doors, and does it surprise me that I gloat over her failure to lift from the mire that soaks us, or, or only levels of dismissal right blow gloating, why do we delight the moment the miserable are not us? I wanted to beg her to stop humiliating herself, if only for our sakes… If my flesh was gone, my body would be open, and I could escape, I would leave. No more tied to a body, a being need not be tied to itself either. Spill until it's not a container that's spilling. See me, see my sin, but if I tore out my eyes, I could not see them see me, and if I incinerated my ears, I could not hear them snicker. Sneak out unnoticed. How much we want when we wander to arrive at exactly what we left, desperate yearning touches pristine shining our absence lack. In the else please return this. Moving outward what little grips us the new not us, selfish beings roving into our own resounding, whose flower shall blossom on another's soil alone? Love in the long run races circuits around its attached. You can run, bathe in the [[morning->mtomorrow]] melted magenta, but that last blue tinge remains, uncontrollable vestige retaining the ruin's secret. No matter how much we decay, are we at least marble somewhere? Can there be, but how dare fate not wait to solidify? Could I not talk to Kaiya one last time? Let her know what she must have... but what does gratitude matter? Why would anyone care what another person... Kaiya didn't do it because she cared but because she was good enough to care. Daydream your apology to fantasize your redemption in having been good enough to apologize before its gap solidified. You could have been good enough to have been her friend, but you were not, and you never will be. You will always be her burden, another one, the one who let her down... lowered her into...

Hollows echo in my ears the connective fray as my body without recourse obeys the command to march ever and upward, into this mission to ascend Myeri marshals us, shall we ever find a sky sear azure sublime to heaven our fallen? Ascend must we to the Veda, ascend must we to the secrets above us, ascend and accept yourself heightened, storysoldier in myths titans, but what shall amount of me to azimuth vaticism? Why exist when we escape our bounds to bind afresh the flesh? Emendative timelisting to unlitany disenvowelcalyized consonance to veerb electric matins. Myeri says ascend, and so do our prayers, verse of our fragilities: do the Veda these missives receive, record, encore enduress? Cannot ask, not your place, your place is the ascent as it blurs [[First->mfirst]], [[Second->msecond]], [[Third->mthird]], [[Fourth->mfourth]], [[Fifth->mfifth]]...

Static rustling muted our footsteps even on the echoing Staircase through the First's haughty reserve. Not a face to be seen, guardpoints more poignant in desolation. Ghost breezes scratching the worn stone. "I mean you would know, wouldn't you Olyasz?" Jaufr. "How the First is also decay, their own recognition of time's shadow, yeah? In that their hoarding is itself a pessimist admission, an unwillingness to believe the lie, hor?" "Maybe yeah like, or you know uh, uh, well it just felt like silence hurt somehow, no, and that's not even it, because silence can also, I mean I've had people where silence was the best you could be with them, not, not like that, as in, like a genuine delight, because it's more meaningful than, but there's, in the balance somewhere, you could taste it in the in betweens, the questioning, the hollow resumption of reassurance, scepter silence obeyed because best not to wonder why. You'd up to the waking to the silence, breakfast, heavying hours to noon seeming to break up, brittle silence, strictly adhere to the schedule you pretend, nobody talks, nobody looks up, even when you do talk, even when! Silence, and trudging along them as our not speak would crouch on our skulls crowns of our joke, I would look, feel this wilting bulb in the pit of my stomach, in the middle of their nothing I less involved, not selfinvolved but actually withdrawn both inside and out, wasn't there, could taste their not there. Bound we were lah, so's the actual, might as be marionettes waddling to suppose a puppeteer. Don't know how you're supposed to live so, suppose the thing's you're meant only to pretend, as I would, at those, they would call them balls if you'd believe it, like a dozen disheveleds in soiled dresses curtsying to waxball glares as we limped out loosely gloved wrists, and you'd touch insofar as figuratively, pavane to whatever music the torpid glaze conjures. Why aye, was what being alive was like suppose, like where's the go there? En li akhot, I do, but I don't, not one which means it, no parents neither, no anything, even Myeri, I mean he's got a pulse hey, so on that account I'll call him uncle, but he's not. Not that I'm an exile, but that I never was there, there is no there to be. I went out, and I'm a hundred percent serious, just to, to, I don't even know honestly, stop pretending things exist. Let go and just go. Maybe you lot are inured to the sailing to meaningless, but let me tell you, sailing you're moving, and that's the world's greatest gift, absolute serious, you don't know how lucky you are. Being able to sail is a solution to, and I think this is their problem, really, is that they don't have sailing, or anything like that, it's because they don't work that it's dry. Humans were meant to suffer and languish, look at yourself in a mirror, naked or not naked, doesn't matter, you'll see, you got limbs like [[struggle->mstruggle]]. You move for what makes you move. Maybe that sounds obvious to you, but apparently up there it's a secret. I mean look at yourselves! Don't our bodies cry out to go somewhere? Gods, I couldn't take it! What's the point of living if you're stuck?"

Buildings shadowed the streets, grimaces encased in mortared stone, frozen scorn centuries wasting encompassing all that passed under its lonesome bell. Lightlack droops pooled on my shoulders, ran down my sides, puddled. Of course you're not supposed to dwell on it, that's their secret, [[inertia->mstruggle]]. They are not too ponderous to live. Scraped against the razor sun sludging from the wound long enough the building death, attempting to imitate human despite the rotten gnarl of mistakewaste seeping bubbling my clumped. All I want to do is wait out the wrong away from perception. Stake me to some judgment, supply me serenity of the damned, pierced stable… Ribbons of black silk draped across grated windows. Withered crypt creaks in the Second's dully loud reverb. In the streets men with infected laughs eked their bodies away from gutters with scrabbly shard extremities, their curdled skin sallow and lumpy. Having rotted the last of the sun out of their bodies they opened their mouths to spill the collected dust. A man missing hands perched on a fountain motioned an applause impossibly long and impossibly slow. He lizard grinned.

Cinders learning to love the other ember's glow resonates tragedy, never again this beam we beg to embrace. Because some of us linger long in the pall's gentle hum and some of us fizz out in a flash, because our bonds do not actually attach us, and we are forced to watch each other go, we drift dreamseared into inarticulate anguish. Watching the other die out, then asking yourself, then. Our lives are absences goliaths composed of the moments we were too enraptured to notice we were living; we only live in the silence between two notes; until in an unlit corridor winding past locked door after locked door we are forced to truly live do we pressurize become. Yakacza had a cur adopted, never I the capacity, whatever it was a capacity of, could not bear to watch its violently terse prophecy: seeing fire doused, having to still stay lit. It bounded behind him; there it was, curled up beside him; that was what he would do, when we stopped talking to him, turn and talk to it; every joy doppelgangering its thricefold anguish. Preloaded gray of the diminishing context, I asked him, still I besiege you! Violence, only violence continues its [[motion->mstruggle]], only in violence frozen life, bathe in brutal, dream out the futile to fires, bury us in the burning becomant raw and twistably possible, scream yourself uncertain! Scarlet hair knife slicing on a raucous the Third's musky pit belching from its brim dancers in the sweaty nude who caroused beneath rubbish pyres stricken to poses of horns, halos, scars, jerky progressions against greasy flamelight. Animal heads vomited lucre like pearls on panters. Smoke tuffs feasting on stale oxygen sparked several chesthot coughs quick swivel sucking beady stares numerous in the night between slabs of red streaking.

Desolate stretched the Fourth. Dotting unlit stone sea like damp islands were small lamp pocked dens. Our footfalls rang through with emphatic intrusion, the peek of the riser on the sleeper in the fragile dream. Pungent ash. Kostiye's gait became a shiver; it spilled out: "I did, did I tell you guys about, when several years ago, we actually got pitched up here? Gods, it's all coming back to me. Nejani and Leiska, and, you remember this place, Leiska?" "Yes. Long ago." "It wasn't that long ago now, it was uh, was it Nejani's last voyage, that is, before we left back to Ayeri's, and..." Jaufr's stained corpse sunk to the so far removed you cannot help but remain in its icy outline, an anchor mooring. So many years of affection, of affliction, of arguments and protests, yelled nights, bristling thorns interlocking a necklace on a pillowy throat, accumulated in a deep blue congealing gauze. Shame trickled through my chest like a viscous slime blobbing in the push. Water obscured true sight behind translucent surface illusion. Gone like so much more. "Weathering we were hereside for so could prove weeks," Kostiye trembled the manic aversion to crying, "so we decided to up, which was always Nejani's suggestion in these situations like. Things then are pretty much the same so you see, surprising honestly the lack of change, though then too was this whole place a surprise, had to ask ourselves where have we really gone, you know, as there's an idea of like this will be fun to see how things are, see the ways the different Towers tapered into their own, you know, its own uh, whatever, and then there is oh gods suddenly of, yego is copulating with what probably he thinks is a, right, um, you know, out of nowhere, the sort of stuff that makes you go, okay, maybe never mind on this, but emphatic Nejani was that we had to keep going, obsessed he was about this idea of how such a place might come to be, what it means when people are like this ah. Easy so to throw them away, to say, no they've lost, there's the abyss, not us, but that's just to cower from the obvious, and Nejani was always austere of these people are us, exactly like us, they are what we don't want to admit. Idea his was that everything in a given time are ways to express the same thing, particulars different phenomena of the principle is I believe his phrase, should've heard him glib on about it, he could be, uh, it was Nejani, you know, used to rate him a bit of a poet, and he never got mad at the title, but you could see it in his face, somehow calling him a poet just slipped off him. It was his idea to stay the night here, that is, not just to look and nod but to dwell, to uh, I'm not sure really, but, to be here, deeper, in some way. Kapinya's has never been all that crowded, but I remember when we got up here for the first time, it was, I mean. We'd spent a night or so on the Third, and swearing my sending on you lot've seen but not've been, didn't hear it, didn't smell it. When you get in there so far you can't see for the pyres, you can't hear for the howls, bays, whatever our throats are apparently capable of, and maybe even not capable, and with no like spatial distance in anything, every sound and object and thought and person and place and feeling and animal impulse is right there on top of you leh, utter chaos it is, raw ataxia, you plummet into their noise and find yourself uncertain of what anything otherwise is, and at that point the, the you know the pretend of anthropology goes, whatever remains is an emptying out into shell, and like whole days we were in that intense thirst where your seams rip and you can't help what pours out, not without feeling somewhere in yourself a vacuous need to either destroy everything to avoid identification or be soothed by the phantasmal element of it, and so you there you are drinking desperately everything that filths your sight so you don't have to make choices about it, or knowing that it's not a choice; you can't enter a gate and not pretend lalekhet et haderekh. We couldn't... this gaping in how surprisingly thin is nature's fabric: you stick your head through, uncompressed electricity of the outside mirrored exactly, and you, that's when you realize, that this place, what's so uncanny is that it's exactly what it looks like. "The scene though, this Floor, this arresting nonsequitur, we were so deflated we had to wait to prove that it was really us [[pushing->mstruggle]] ourselves, hadn't submitted to tides. See those dens hey? We trembled inside nearest to wherever we had found ourselves, or so we had to assume as selves of our sodden soldered as if drunkness permanence would cause the next drink to sober. What else could we do but collapse as soon as it wouldn't kill us? When we got inside though there were no scraps of anything to moor by neither to sit nor lie, not even trash ah, but this emptiness, it, it, I mean look at it, what is there to, and inside it's totally the same hey, cold steel in harsh angles gliding into a glassy mirror, so selfsame this sea to sea sloshing. Corpse behind the counter noticed us, yet he could not, not for all of our noise, you get the lack of vertigo vertigo, and ah, we wandered to his just gargoyled, and Nejani like proclaimed unto the ether we would stay the night upstairs, and this guy gave us this look, right, I'll never forget the terror of it, unflinching, not acceptance, whatever's in the cellar of acceptance, like how could the world be anything but what it has come to suffer? The very fact that we had ascended to the Fourth implied to him, directly, no possibility but whatever we babbled, or maybe even that causation wasn't there, because I swear to you the way he, and behind Nejani stashed up they'd so conjuring a bit of Laveri he grabbed one, keeping full eye contact with this guy, uncorked, sipped like twice, then threw the rest on the floor in disgust to no reaction, I'm serious, nothing, nothing, sometimes I can't sleep because I see him in the shadows frost motionless. Of course he threw the bottle on the floor, why was it not there already? But I mean how does he even restock! Ask yourselves that, right now. How obvious it was that no one had ever paid this guy, and yet there was stuff in there, enough of it to seem real, and how, who brings it? Where does it come from? Who makes it? I had a hallucination once that I saw a secret Staircase in the walls where these elves are just endlessly ferrying poisons to this factory of, of… and this demon tending bar, sentinel assigned to this hell specific, nodding as we wailed our incapacity to penance? And the thing is too it's not just him, I used to, like uh, any pub I'd wonder how the hell there's all these bottles, you could never smash your way through them, it felt like we were drinking to a completion, but always just off, perpetual tomorrow of the drying out, and that feeling becomes so much stronger when it's a place like that, where you know, in your head, that somehow these things arrive, but you don't believe it, you cannot imagine anything being added here, endless minus of an irreducible stasis. Where does it come from? How long does it take him to go through them? Who brews them? What happens when he sleeps? When he leaves? Does he sleep? Does he leave? And like who birthed him? Someone must've breastfed him, or perhaps he crawled a specimen from a smashed filthdraft geskecz. I'm trying to imagine him being conceived, trying to imagine something utterly gruntless in the unlit over some mirror, moving the soundless way dream figurines do, then trying to fathom him being nurtured, suckling on some statue or something. Trying to imagine a story and knowing I can't, and yet I can, because it was probably the same as mine. "So we knocked up to the beds, weren't made obviously, but they still had the sheets, pillows, they were like, tch, embalmed. Does the world reset when we leave? If you ever thought Nejani was just toying on his own when he talked about recursives, you haven't lived what he has, haven't seen into the eyes of what his names fit. He thought so he did for having to stare thus and still believe this place we subsist in. It's the world or go crazy lah; he was crazy enough to choose the world. Annulled up there we were, had to start over. I always thought of perfection as a positive thing, perfection was the unattainably complete, but that scene slapped me in the face with something that was unattainably complete and was, was it positive? Negative perfection. I don't know. Even though we interloped we could not introduce an errance into this complete paradigm. Nevermore a thought which has not already ruled your entire. Whatever crimes it is for which Kapinya's pays its dues its panorama, it's already been pressurized into a gem here, they're all wearing it so, all busy atoning, that's why coming over here is so empty, you're interrupting clockwork daemons shuffling the ever undone atop acrid immovables. Ayeri's, maybe we only accept it because it's ours, I only like it better because it's my pit, but nobody guarantees your pit is a good one, or a good bad one, or like, maybe the pit that doesn't attempt to home is the best, maybe we should all just admit this to ourselves and get on with our damnation. Cannot say to it, wish Nejani was here to say it better ah, eah..."

"Halt!" Cried a guard. "No further! We're armed!" A small pike was brandished to prove the assertion. A ramshackle hut with what seemed like signs flimsily attempted to barricade the top of the Staircase. There may have been letters on the signs, or maybe those were fingernails' memories. "What uh, fjelske uh, what business draws you up?" A second guard, as he sought, his pike, near, his feet, where had it gone, had it ever been? "Ascension," Myeri declared. "Yes uh, but uh, like um, for what reason?" "Indeed, could you reckon it? Is it not reason itself, the why? But what is such a reason to one who must ask?" "What is it to me?" The first guard. "I am a commissioned sentry of Kapinya's Myemi, fully authorized to conduct all matters of civilization relevant to this checkpoint. It is my very duty to know what your reason might be." Myeri's shoulders slumped. He nodded to Leiska who fought his way to the front. The glower when he got there oozed. "Murder, mayhem, don't yet catch it all to a plot," Leiska. "There's sixteen of us, there's two of you: write that on your paperwork." The first guard frowned. The other, segueing from a hum: "Yes, the paperwork, must be done. Doszi, where did you put the forms?" "Is it not in the locker?" Doszi opened the locker. "No." "Uh, well, from which are you?" "From the continents," Leiska. "Ayeri's," Meluoi. "We're from Ayeri's." "You're not from Kapinya's?" Doszi. "Is that what Ayeri's means," Leiska. "Then they need the Foreign Ascent Form. Those are in the locker." Doszi reopened the locker. "Is it the blue one?" "No, the green one." "It's not in here. There's nothing in here." "What? Oh, yes, that's right, I moved it to one of the drawers last night. It's over there." "You moved it? Why?" "I don't know, yesterday. Just get it." "You do it, if you know where it is." The guard set his pike down and walked over to the drawers. He yanked onto the counter a pile, scattered them, then picked up a set of green forms. He thumbed through them. "These are the old ones..." He muttered. "There are new ones?" Doszi. "Yes, there are new ones, that's what that whole meeting was for, the one, you know, the one with the, the, um so can I have your names?" "Aci Leiska. You can put us all down on that name." "I can do that." "You can?" Doszi. The guard shot him a look, then turned to us and nodded. "Yes, of course I can. Aci Leiska, let's see, how do you spell that?" "A c i, L e i." "L e i? Leiska you said it was?" "The ska is silent." "I didn't know the ska could be silent," Doszi. "Is that so," Leiska stared upwards into the lightless. "Uh..." "It's silent." "Uh, um, okay... Leiska, excellent. Now, can I have the reason for your ascent?" "To reach the Veda," Myeri declared. "The Veda? Hmm, that's not, that's not actually er, an option of the..." "The form has options?" Mojyi. "Of course it has options. Why would we have a form if it didn't have options? Let's see... one: hound a warrant, two: quell criminal activities, three: provisional sightseeing with approved form, four: exile, five: selfimposed exile with no possibility of return, six: selfimposed exile with possibility of return, seven: acquiring materials specified by appropriate forms. Those are your options." "None of those," Meluoi frowned. "How can it not be one of those? Are you criminals?" "Put us down for sightseeing," Leiska. "But you said you were going to the Veda. That's not sightseeing." "You have to be joking," Meluoi. "I'm most certainly not! These are the only reasons allowable for foreign ascent. It's for us to enforce the rules, not add to them. You can solicit the Myemi whenever we meet again with your objections, but that's not my job. Now let me read your options again, let you decide –" "Just tell them the exile with return option right so, doesn't that –" "Yeska!" Lomia shouted. Bowling through the ramshackle checkpoint Lomia grabbed the guard by the throat and lifted him. Doszi dived for his weapon, lost somewhere right beyond the reach of memory, but Mojyi spiraled a javelin into Doszi's chest. Lomia threw the guard: screaming: crash. "Don't act out of command!" Myeri. "Your unruliness besmirches not only your name but ours and those we carry as well. Reprimand your men, Lieutenant." Leiska muttered a token remonstrance. Myeri nodded us [[onwards->mstruggle]] with a core sigh.

Shoulder mine around Yakacza hugtugged me his motionslung. "Ey Leiru onto this then you’ll appreciate, Reikka here has spotted [[foxfires->mfoxfires]] up in window there aftly, there’s the one, espy?" "The what now eh?" I. "Green glow like up in the darkness there pulsating. Ken a reflective glimpse if you squint. Shall we [[investigate->minvestigate]], old times yeah, pretending the scars away as you’ve always?" "You’ve got to see it Leiru, if you’ve never. Lush pus dust to fuss must!" Reikka. "Aye will you shush leh, got to somehow with you an hour." She [[glowered->mglowered]] into Yakacza’s trawling us up to pace. As if to batter he rammed us through a door that mewled hinges swing swing an echo. Through a dusty disregarded we triptrudged through overturneds and discardeds until a flight flighty with gaps crumbled us up to a second creaky sawdust loaded which we wandered with the same empty bemusement moded to a room not meant to be wondered which has failed to unadmit you. Ghost marks chilled, [[lambents->mlambents]] crawled through decays. Dry jilt sputter heavies heaved us through kiln clouds to a third than a fourth further fetid, each asking more of our less. The sense of up in our stomach pits; this must we inculcate, ascenders, ascent, dread, who could survive such a thing wrote our expressions blank enough that Reikka rhapsodied them, regaling through Yakacza’s groans her envy at our ability to touch where the sky begs or whichever her phrase. In a dome of dark we paused awaiting to adjust in what assumptive flaired in our wish to see.

To each abash: nothing. Reikka panics to a gloom, nerves us through different rooms, through so much space we insoluble pass. Heavied burnhead hulped cope to wriggle. Stapler sighs stuck us to conversate. "Sure so it's still around, your whatever?" I. "Aye, it's gotta -" Yakacza. "We'll never find it leh, mirage, a thing too beautiful for our world." Reikka. "What, you're giving up hey? We've barely searched the landing." Yakacza. "Yeah but here's where I saw it, dreamed it, painted it. If we cannot real it here, never anywhere." "Eh? No actually I feel I remember we were up further, next landing so, yeah, that's where it must be." Up another set of [[stairs->mstart11]] why not, all you ever do is up. [[Ascension->merrants]] sweats sprechbund. Hurt yourself productive, and escaping whatever belowness surely... "Your problem is because you don’t suffer enough adversity, you must invent some, which, in your dissociated pleasure sadness, thrums equally as real." Nyneme. "You think you can just hurt me, and it doesn’t matter, just because I won’t?" I. "What?" Yakacza. "What?" Reikka. "Nothing." "Yeah, it's everywhere now..." Reikka. "If it was everywhere, we'd find it by now ah." Yakacza. "What?" "What?"

Dizzy of an [[upwards->mstart11]] more deeply a downwards we drill compelled by motes in rafters chiaroscuro of silence char entombed a hum that echoes in bones. Chased by an uncanny certain in uncovered uncertainties into our willfulness to immerse in what in us is buried. Curiosity our flaws propulse pries through ashes for kindling, must be some alchemy by which to this formed aflame, must be, sings to me in each new oldness, each enigma layer unsolvable without the secret sunken in further and further earthwards, antiquity spells constructs interragating. What could we find to satiate the salivatic? Were they so solved, those forever a question in this [[cryptych->mupfloe]]?

You feel it first in your phalanges, radiates through your curling to crawl, illuminates your begging the sprawling brilliance sweating. Eyes rolled into your neck, swallow it up, you want to be beautiful, drink this starewelling, immerse into searshine why suboperator. Glow magnificence of foxfire surround pulsing, oval envelop of emerald neon sparkling white dots in your vision of a mycelium angel network blurring encodeds to maxulate, zenith halo of gravital distortion nullpoint armadament beamlinking to one, galaxy expulser. Shockwrote to howlite lunar surface in nightnochrome saturation wanderer munchian, of each impact an imprint incorporated to unified desolation. Absolute devestation absolved in deinvestation, litter deinvaded sleeveds across luminous [[trackless->mstart11]] to darkwhite glare subsolve [[somata->msting]], stigmata mystic approach worship its lightning apparitive elusion, pewter cast planished to repeatable category, catechism to catholicize the dispartite invidium. Filaments of forgetmenots fabricate a chain to unearth, you can travel across division without sight, exist in black and whites harboring polychromatic consequences deoxyribonucleic acid cities to spool plume isles in glittering seize, through infinity activity integrate via to viable, you can. Reikka shuttered silently mawwarped twisting limbly to scrunched pawing discontinuous moebius infinite symbol sundered to zero. Struggled against greengleam to reach to repair her solved to individuality she splases through me shrieking underworld polytones rainbow rapids flashing behind my eyelids lithified blankblush. We mannerist to aleph.

Marching and marching up steps and also up steps until more steps come which must you march up and even then stairs appear to up march until maybe Myeri is there and maybe I'm still and not listening but there. Sunspots in my eyelids? Squint them out. "Nearness is the feeling," said the specter. "Nearness is the feeling I'm feeling. I haven't felt in so long, and I'm so far away from everything, but the further we go, the further I, something seems..." Buzzing. We must locate our, we need a guide, we need one? But the guide may or may not be here, could be dead, was only mentioned on drink four by some random, pub ill lit to conjure home... weeks since last sighting. Possibly forever, if not longer. When last above the line, I could see how ill lit it was; something scurried across the floor… the random said: when I was last above the line, Cozienna, did not see him, hey, x, have you seen... Transit of [[pupils->mpupils]], blinked to jangle them back into focus. So we need to split into four... something about hunting the four corners for the, there is something, multiple things, how many, or no, one thing which is many things underneath its facade, a concept which is its own multiplicity, but find the, rendezvous back at the corpse at exactly noon tomorrow, but when is noon, how different are Kapinya's Windows from Ayeri's, is their noon like opposite, but noon is always a nebulous, but the body is for real, and be there, be real, be a [[body->mbody]], be bodily real, Mojyi whispers, and it sounds so loud. Movement? Where are, pulled into a clumped group drifting into our own particular, that's Meluoi, and Berakh near her, and... oh, Yakacza. I, with overhasty speed... the light, of course, pounding my ears...

"It's been awhile," Imeni said, never said, though surely there she was, was I not looking at her? "Been awhile since I've been here too," cheekily subvert the subject, if you're wry about everything, then you're at ease, or is that cheeky, hold on, that's not even a joke, what am I even saying? Her lips the way they used to grin without moving, and it would just be like the past, the past is the past, or... "Looks like it's gone really downhill." "That makes two," she reclined to face me. "You look like you've been up all night." "The beds here, well, like venturing in a volje..." Which I had learned from a sailor in a [[pub->mflagon]] the night before who talked all night about geography books and what it must be like to walk a moor... "I can see it," Imeni nodded. "I've been having some sleep issues too. Nothing major, but you're right, it is worse here, like reclining in a..." The flat valley between two impressions well formed, the soothing... "You haven't changed at all, Emnin," she said, or would say, and then she would go on to say, "Let's brush our hair in absolute silence while we collect our tears like gemstones," or, or is that what I wanted her to say, there must be something, more… Then we were drinking sarahme, and I, I... the way it tasted was so pristine, in the sense of having had the fullness of... it was... I. I was on the ground sweating profusely, eyes white in the head. Kaiya and Imeni were exchanging worried looks. "You alright, Emnin?" Kaiya. "I'm, I'm fine," I said, but it was obvious I wasn't, and I... "Emnino. Emnino!" "Not sophisticated enough," Imeni frowned seven times larger than her face. "I, no, there's so much to me, I'm not, please, you have to believe me, there's more than this emptiness inside, I promise you, I have meaning, I..." Imeni was a million feet tall but her face rubberbanded into my eyeballs like a meteor in endless ricochet. "There is no point in fighting," said the specter. "Give up. Give me up. Let go. Don't drag it all into the mire. You're making it worse for everyone. You're wasting everyone's time. Splatter your mud idols on your own clothes." "What? Listen, what, are you sick?" I rolled over to see Meluoi, confusion with worry mixing. "I'm, all of the..." Meluoi's lips curled. "He seems to have collapsed from [[exhaustion->mseparates]]. Get him under the shade." "Where?" Yakacza. "It's all darkness everywhere."

Trickle through the mud to percolate out, reach the next wholly stained you must insist leads to the next fits, dreams, nightmares, lulls, hazy light impressions melts in Meluoi's voice still ringing in this head that hates the word pain because it [[separates->mseparates]] you. Slumber into the hour of the pure moon I along with everyone else who lifted up in a swell clacked on the ground again in bootsounds bullishly strong insist of a no music calm in the fury, yes I want to be heard I tore into the soundbreaker of the better horrified of the blankness staring back through the hours of work, but the silence creeps in every time you speak over the heard, whisper my soul and so it dissipates because, listen to lips where you might live, there it is, catch it, swallow your soul, be you. How in vain I feel in Jaufr's slashes, spill it out, I reveal what I was all along, I am the I am that I, I. You are a maw, the rest of the world is poison to suck, pale shades mythically future beckoning over a quiet gray the bleakborne treasure, the immanence of presence unpunctuated by this pausation, this cauterized gyahh! Glut me with their terse you ingrate, drink this [[ceiling->merrants]] as gray and as sunless as it was when I slept. I am the nothing that no one ever is. "I'm losing the ability to work on making it work, I told her," Nyneme, "and I think she misunderstood me, she thought I meant the whole situation, everything, her included, when I just meant me, my desire to function into whatever beauty we made, the slow slip into my gross and useless. It wasn't that I was running out of the energy to fight, but that my fighting slowly began to repulse me, made me wonder if submission was so wrong, if in my splinter exclusion I meant anything more than the watery gruel, that my wreck was more my humiliation splattered public rather than any kind of treasured failure. When you lose your sense of purpose, your cling desperate to your dignity; when you lose your sense of dignity, you cling desperate to your meaning; when you lose your sense of meaning, you cling desperate to your sympathetic patheticness; when you lose even this, you drown without a splash in the rage and roar. There is pleasure in failure when your bones form some impossible beauty; nothing but what is this is in this being this to nobody's need. Why not let go? When the Glowmoon died into the Stillmoon, I recognized myself, no longer recognized her, and let go, and yet, here I am, where are we, I feel the [[uncanny->mimaginary]] shimmer of partial reflection in this, this place, I sense what I ceased to feel, I, I..." Waste is venomous. One flash of the fangs from the beast regret and one's fate feasts on years, every monument swept beneath the cleansing wave. A tattered human form unrecognizable, fading. My body was broken, would it soon shut down? Eons flushed by my bank. These insipid scrawls of an unsure child culminating in my mouth tasting directional ash, there was no trumpet blare, no scorching flame, no tempest at the mountain peak, only a fog that rolls from the sea and gets stuck in the Tower inhaled dirty and exhaled worse over and over and over and why, a mood once entered and long since run its course clogging the ventricles, yesteryear's stale cloud hanging over a no sun dawn. Gangrenous blood refused to flow. In the vaporous coldness an elephantine lurked which I did not wish to think nor touch but which seemed to intone. Single incarnate cruelty of everything tasted, everything loved, and all of it wrong.

Why bother to [[sleep->msleep]] when we awake more [[exhausted->mexhausted]]?

Cold hallways stretching long. From my vertigo rose clanking skeletons large above wreckage threatening at any second to buckle. "Strange the sudden and so," whispered Nyneme. "Forever after in this instance forms, in our mortal tenuousness forced to feel the chaos of the primal gush as erasure of our momentary phantasms of connection, who would want the ability to feel in a world of catastrophes? Mistakes all fresh in my muscle memory buzz thick static, thickening constantly, electric syrup [[sizzlesludging->msizzlesludging]] unspokens like threats to threadbare future desires ununto swamp belongs. What we don't say speaks us. The hush post the shriek, so I am in her absence, in my own in it, and this place's silence silhouettes my surrendered, sense I the nurtured withering my chest heaves with each pang of once possible plays out these echoes' icy [[pianos->mpianos]], let the sounds die out to might the voice shade. I have waited millennia in darkness for nothing. I have seen lights shift on the walls shadow sunrises and dusks seeping the world to its tone, none of it meant, it might have once, and in that death maybe some strand does, worthless, want to throw away the sails to stop waiting for the lost wind, you feel..." A scarlet sash web dressing the nudity pounded, eyebulges clotted black tumoring in rhythm, but my clarity revolted against its pity. A million variants interlocking loped [[cataphractic->mcataphractic]] under the vector needle barrage, knowledge veering into smothering's cyst cavern, corrupting chaos a prism melting the subject, do not flee. Wash crest bulges bridging the half shaped inundations so consumingly white slanted under a six zone H with color like a tan stone arch broad above the wider blue plain... one morning the sun, wake to it, warm to it, then return to the gaussian continuity reprieve, confession: the sin the world commits is procession. Quell nestle these sinews to syrup, idea. Laments in fog lurking along brambled sideroads. Believe you can be okay in the nonsense. Concave harbor to weather the rain a day more. Fuzzmind petaling mauve on wasted hours accumulating as blankets, but still must you render from your iterated material the snowy [[glade->mglade]] you once wished melting ice sculptures implied, the strain strains for some reason in its thick gulping no. Keep being until it blends cause and other into uniquely you. It will happen; it must, it must. When is the cosmic joke we will all laugh at after the fact.

Ends are, not when we want, but one day, it ends. Rain relents. For a day, the wet after glistens. In each imagined tongue striking real hides contagion, but like all organs looms its stop: the secret shall be stifled in its shade without a push of force by the paragon lux. You are a nightmare fading is said to me, and I grin, spew back bleak peals, well yes, and you too. Gradual release, oblivion release, simplicity in the cease, and yet our accounts hold us so, springing from the gore what shall stand the shirked shell and which the soul? Emerge from this soiled colossus I cannot endear sullied red but clear as desperate yellow my lifebanner streams. Stand up, you aeons, taper our [[bloodtrails->mfall]] in a noose! That way at least I have something to hang this on. Huddling fizzing off to figments under pounding sighs acidic rain. Pain blockades over which dissident the annulment amounts to our false peak, the absurd turning to the externality of tragedy as finishing, prince misery in mourning regalia debuted to a jawless crawling crowd. What god could restrain madness in the eternal themselves waiting? In infinity imprisoned the most mortal, gnashing desiccate, gods give way to their hells. Why sail when no land lurks? Yakacza languid atop a rock posed as if a spear pierced him to a passionate outcry forever frozen. We clutched cups of hot water with both hands. Early morning laze hushing us to [[semimindless->msemimindless]] wraparound drawlings pittering flat on the acrid corpse. Uncaught by the daylight: Meluoi, Berakh. Serenity auraed a ghostly echo of the vibrance there locked. Trying to curl my toes in my shoes and struggling. Several minutes withering blank right below camaraderie until the expected blow: "How's last [[night->mnight3]] going for you, Leiru?" Must we live the daylight?

A beat of no actuality tumbling lopsided through missing cessation: I am in a coffin, lidless twilight. An oceanlung bubbling to the depths. My shouts clank on metal nights. Congenital data writing unreadable garbage. "Ah, the vanguard," Yakacza yawned. "Any luck on the guide?" "None," Kostiye. "We roamed the wide over to catch not one even remotely the description." "I'd no idea there could be so many people who so wildly differed from such a generic description," Pyeisa. "Doesn't corral to sense: is this where they sent all the tall balds to die?" "Unless by scraggly the guy meant the beard and not the hair," Gyadalta. "There's brambles there to drown your close." "They're trash stale," Avacz. "Do you know I actually found a bath behind like a wall of crates? There was a spider the size of a Tower in there. Swear those fangs were bigger than my arm lor." "Not hard," Yakacza pushed himself off the rock, "considering how you laze out." "Oh gods," Pyeisa. "Can't you just sit still?" Kostiye. "Are you on contract with misery to open your mouth?" "Oh please, Prince Zekyiru, is fantasy swords with the droolers what counts for muscling?" Avacz. "Zekyiru?" Meluoi looked up. "It takes serious athleticism to –" "Serious athleticism!" Avacz. "Dance about the stage as an actor. It's a performance. It takes real effort." "Serious athleticism," Gyadalta's wry chuckle. "You know about Neszli Zekyiru?" Meluoi. "I just can't believe he won't shut up," Kostiye. "Like there's an insect in his jaw ehh." "Boka," Pyeisa. "Any beggar off the street could do your princess routines." "You'd have to train for weeks to do even the easiest." "Like how do you even think this'd well?" Kostiye. "Who's that socially off?" "Train for weeks," Avacz. "Great." "Ey Kostiye, to arms!" Pyeisa lunged. "I don't, ah..." "Come on, fight me for the throne! We've an audience to please!" Kostiye sighed. He waved an arm dismissively at Pyeisa. Pyeisa dueled it. "Doskaye, my men! Doskaye! Storm the castle!" "Doskaye?" Meluoi, bewildered. "What are you talking about?" "He's trying to be me," Yakacza. "I'm being better than you," Pyeisa. "Avacz, score it." "Seven." "Seven? Are you serious? At least pretend you're actual so the insult hurts." "Looks like a seven to me," I. "Ah ha! We have consensus!" Pyeisa clasped his hands. "Is it too late to descend to Second? Got some clink to catch on this rare talent." "Baelu, you guys are ganging for no reason." "For no reason! You've got to be joking. You ridiculed me." "Who's ridiculing Avacz?" Mojyi. "I'd love to be a part." "Ah, the vanguard!" Pyeisa. "And we've commandeered a friend," Mojyi moved to display a dour man dressed like whatever littered the nearest alley. "Why don't you introduce yourself heh?" "I'm Olosz. I can take you to the Fifteenth." "I thought your name was supposed to be Comienna," Avacz. "No, he's not the guide," Leiska, "but he is a guide. He can guide. He knows some of the stuff." "And he's scraggly too, so it's all the same," Mojyi. "How's he going to be less the guy we're looking for than the guy we're looking for when he's a guy we looked for and for all the reasons we looked for the guy? What could even be the difference?" "What?" Kostiye. "What if the others show up with the real guide though?" Avacz. "He is a real guide," Mojyi. "What, you mean, Vasya, Tyese? Those laggards pitch up with anything, it'll be targets and hardons," Pyeisa. "You make it sound like the wrong answer," Mojyi. "Where are they anyway?" Avacz. "You think they're coming before the nights freeze?" Myeri, who had weathered all this with a foggy [[distance->mstart11]], sighed. "They'll come," Leiska. Wanness on our muteness. Yakacza resumed his rocky perch. "I just hope it's not a terrible wait." "It will be," Gyadalta. "I hope it is. Waiting is the most beautiful experience." "What is that supposed to mean?" Avacz. "Why is waiting beautiful?" I. "If you all just wait a second, I'll explain it to you," he smiled. Time stuck to the roof of my mouth. I sat. Meluoi sat beside me, which made Berakh sidle down beside her. She was too short for his shoulder so she rested her head on his biceps. She nodded up at me. I looked up at Berakh. He was unreadable. I rested a little against his gentle heat, and the fact he did not react, and the fact she smiled, made me actually rest a little against his gentle heat. Meluoi started to speak but lost the feeling and fell silent. I waited for waiting to be beautiful. Avacz coughed. I ran out of hot water and just held the cup, spinning it between my fingers. Avacz coughed more loudly. My neck hurt from poor posture, but I felt too weird to move into Berakh more. Myeri glared at me with disdain. My whole body tensed, even my eyeballs throbbed tense. I leaned away. My expression drooped increasingly fraught. Avacz cleared his throat. Waiting, not for.

"Many more nights are going in me than last," I muttered low enough not to be pressed on what that meant. "You're good to keep pace, then? Not sure we'll keep stopping to nurture you to speed." "I'm fine. How was your night?" "Eh, only the third most awkward I've spent with a woman, second with a man watching." Meluoi's serenity swallowed the swipe. "Super interesting," Yakacza continued. "Shame I didn't listen to all of it, some of it might prove for the theater." Somewhere beyond cloudlevel reposed Yakacza's the theater, jumps in position along the escarpment his only measure, perhaps in perception's valley Meluoi in her mystic else remained too eager, too adoring, for surely it was a peak to defer its pride, embarrassed by the distance from home. Perhaps she had said the names Yakacza holds sacred as nominal. Perhaps she had said please father, unsew the comforter, I can't breathe... "You can't read them, you stubborn dyenne," Yakacza. "Why should you keep them? What good are they doing rotting away in a box?" Halt this rust – "But you don't get it!" Yakacza. "She might have rare books in there, ones nobody's read before. We can't let that fall away. If they go, maybe those never show up again, maybe they're gone for good. Keep that on your conscience. It's better for them to come to us so we can continue them on ah. I can read, so can Reikka too, so's we put them to real use, do other than keep them in a box, isn't that what your mother would've wanted?" "What do you know what she wanted? Is it written on your palm? What does it matter what she wants? Should she want them in the ocean, will the ocean rise to claim them? They're my books, not hers, she, she can't have..." "Hey look, okay, whatever. Clearly a nerve. It's just, think of it like this: you love books, right? You're always telling me you wish you could read. Well, I mean, the theater is basically reading them to you, agree? Isn't that what your mother used to do? She read to you as we to everyone: isn't that a good use, one proper to her memory? And don't you and Jaufrei always preach about the need for the old things to survive? I'm here to help you do that, Leiru. We can work together; all I need are your books." Spilling to the [[floor->mstart11]].

Grime mandala on a cruck beam: sick yellow star, rust orange heart, offblack sun ray tendrils vined by a dull green onto a puce splotch swirl sunken in the beam's neglect russet infested with crunchy jasper. If you look long enough, your vision animates it. Energy from a wish? Stare heat distortion pulses waddled across the exact center of Yakacza relaxed in a context nonoccurence, Nejani's gloom is a fumerole not a sinkhole. Cracks the nervous necks holding ripped our tension in a burst, truths never yield, especially not to truths; the heart which must be found to spit out ruby valve drain in mystic puddles arranged oracular, which of the warring screams yes? Nejani yelling: "And what, you're just going to sit there, Yakacza? You're not even going to fight back? Is it arrogance, disdain, huh? King of the trash convinced it's a treasury since it melts in the fire eh? Will you not stoop from your monolith to defend it, have you not the gall to be yourself in front of others? My disagreement hurts that much huh? You take a stance, broadcast it all over the Tower, but the second anyone asks anything of you, oh, I'm the one out of line, I'm the one making a fuss of things. Let me attack, but oh gods I'm so fragile I can't defend! So selfish you're. But I won't submit to your casual supremacy ah, won't let you sit there and pretend I'm the one asking a question as if for you to deign to answer me. You spat this nonsense on us: wipe it up and apologize, or spit again, or get the hell from my face and stop calling yourself human." Yakacza overcompensated his counterdemonstration, and the fight would've been a brawl was not Nejani perpetually sitting. "Were you coddled as a child," Nejani grinned as Olyasz batted Yakacza away, "that you cannot speak to a world which does not nurture you?" I laughed as if the [[ceiling->mstart11]] had said it.

Jaufr lost in the hungry shadows, chin a crescent moon, silverized cocoa bristling against the midnight monochrome, and words dribbled out in mercury, ethereal ungraspables leaving nothing but a chill in their wake. The frost at my feet dug in its mallet nails climbing my vine, reaching my chest and cooling arteries and lungs, becoming one: sunrise without surrendering the blanket. Embellish for endurance a point susceptible to whatever doubt crept in his absence, gone the sound and the spirit and the song... Lyrics drafting clouds to comfort the cerulean brilliance: "Shoreless blankness on those faces... boilers lining the room, grungy, unreflective copper, foundry of a different mindset, one that seemed naive to us now... wright in the primordial muddle envisioning steamworks instead of the nakeding sky... decay in its jagged occlusion iris branching inward, ever inward, closer to us at last... weeks of work for nobody and no change... but why shouldn't we, you know, am I saying it's wrong somehow to, to... and a cynic's starting state is victory, they never have to do anything, infantile they note a problem to consider it solved, as if everything is inherently inflexible... do we rightfully hate, maybe, only so far as the hate is a naming... human beings are variations compounded in social osmosis to identity wrongnesses, essential dilutions as causes intermingle in pregnant reality, the loss as mask, our certain silences our themes... indefensible really, to suggest that evil is omnipresent, because that which produces the evils we face, in our faces, is only a translation away from what little good supports us... society can change, Emnin, people can change, the borders that fix us are our own constructions, arbitrary [[delineations->mstart11]] between clusters we create because otherwise you are grasping onto fluctuations and not foundations, apparitions of a moment soon to change, what doesn't have to be... fear is formless; find the bidding demon... we are here to make being here our goal... and which you, Emnin, is the one looking at me?"

I looked up from the bunk, saw Kaiya sitting in a dilapidated chair brushing Mariena's hair, and I was embarrassed to linger my looking, felt enjambed in geometry, spilled across so much misplacement. I wanted to apologize for being there, being where, where was I supposed to be? Blunt massivities exploding from nowhere in a single moment smashed the earthshield, a gravitational pull retexturing reality as it dragged forth from the seam it broke. To grow is to know yourself with more horror. Over the dead in the sea with Marko's praise; over the counter in the dark with Marko's corpse. With more resignation was Kaiya's phrase. My head bowed before her I wanted to believe you could just be passively. Exist certainty where? In here? No. In where? Per form. You must enact actuality to resist conformal factuals. Break yourself down and reutilize the parts is prayer. You have a [[mission->mstart11]]: to be missing.

This me in sterile white lights barely flickering, dark sometimes for long second strings, reviving not to illuminate but to stop the adjusting [[pupils->mpupils]], batter the pools of black and wrench out the offwhites. "Eh don't mention him, he might materialize, or worse, won't, again," Mariena. "He cares about you, just weird the expressing," Kaiya. "Maybe so you say, I won't, he's in love with duty, with the ego it gives. He cares me not like a sister but like a child eahh. Trying to burgeon his misery so can he aggrandize by halving his pay with me, trying to coddle me into swaddling he can drip drip life into so as it bleeds from his veins the third person who is always himself will nod approvingly, sympathetically, tearfully, and that's how he wants me, grateful, loving, obsessing over his wounds." "Obviously he's, well like, that's how he's gone wrong, but he's trying to make sense of routines he doesn't understand, he's trying to do right by a measure he doesn't understand, and ego is the one thing he does, so he's made peace with doing it outside of why, the why we would want ah, but that why is [[somewhere->mstart11]] in his heart, he's not neutral to you assent. Might never say it sure, but your happiness is his awaking, because he doesn't feel it in himself, so wants to feel it in love, why he works all day instead of [[drinking->msting]] and brooding like most the lot. This draining gives his wasting away a kind of meaning. He desperately, desperately needs to believe in you, because he doesn't believe in his own life. It's a kind of cruelty, sure, but it's also a kind of love. You've got to compromise to accepting how the wrecks of those around you fail to love properly." "That's not much comfort." "Can't give you more than I got, but I know you, Mariena, and I think your bitterness is the converse of his pride. You both desperately want each other to the love neither of you has known how to forge, but he's out bragging to his cousin while you're in here complaining to me." Mariena sighed so as to not exasperatedly laugh. "You complain about him not communicating," Kaiya, "but also there's so much you're not saying as well, and maybe we all have reasons we don't speak, and it's not about judging that but understanding that, trying to work through each other's silences. Obviously your anger is real and important, but in his confusion which frustrates you pines something else real and important which we should listen to, and as long as that love is there, somewhere, somewhere, you can still try and weave those things together..." "Is it still there, isn't that what I'm saying, that he doesn't love me? Anyway forget my brother. Don't know what I'm talking about." "You do," Imeni. "You've got the inflection what knows its said." "Voices don't mean anything, that's what I hate," Mariena. "All these things like body language and voices and what not, people always judge them, but you don't know the way people slouch in bodies, you don't know how their spirits tune their throats. We rebel our bodies unique to poses untranslatable. I hate being judged by how someone else might be if they were me when they're not me. You cross your arms to mean this, fine, wonderful, but I cross my arms for all of my own reasons, and you don't get to guess them. My inflection or whatever is my version of what you couldn't possibly." "Why so harsh ah," Imeni. "I think that's the best way to understand people, is their faces, their tones. People speak their surfaces through riptides." "I'm not saying that like against you," Mariena. "I'm just saying it as like a, um..." "No, I know you're not, I get that, I'm saying my own opinion, which is we're marooned in uncertainties, we'll never truly know another person, but why can't we try? Why accept a dozen misunderstandings, when you can strive for only six? Maybe you can't read all of the reasons in someone's motions, but you can guess a number of them. We're not so different innately, mostly only in how we learn to express. Bracketing those differences to recognize the commonalities is the most important social virtue." "The most important?" Kaiya. "What about kindness, generosity, patience –" "Okay, obviously morality is important or whatever. You're not listening to me." "I am, I am actively judging your tone right now to guess," Kaiya. "Yeah well, guess this subtext," Imeni jeered her face. "You approve of me and wish to express your undying affection," Kaiya. "Thank you so much. You're honestly the only friend that would be so reassuring. I need some reassurance now and then." "Ah, you've guessed it," Imeni. "Eh don't exclude me now, I can sycophant you sun goddess, um, even in my unbelievable arrogance I ken you better," Mariena. I should have said something too, but I'm the creep leaned against the wall always silent. I should have said something. I should have said anything at all. Oh gods, I'm so sorry, I fell so short of you. It's too late now, I will always be worse than you. I like to ask how did I end up like this, as if I didn't know, as if it weren't my fault, as if a thousand times had not drained away while I [[slept->msleep]] in my selfishness...

"The vase awakes," Yakacza. Dimly amber congealed. Place again a jackal whose tongue swamped the gravel. Struggle to form scene from foam. How many years has the nothing swallowed? Awakes the ache its home. How could motions flow from this gulf? In the bed lying beneath the audience's compression appalled. Increasingly aware of intensifying nothing my listlessness fails to nullify. Shamed as the thing sprawled. Shoulder failure or should it crush? Frigid flatness in superior calms arrayed against me solidified, shunted into viewed. Yes, well, you ought to wonder, if you can, down there, in your filth. In my filth down there. In my increasingly aware afraid. "Is he?" Meluoi approached the bed. "He slept all day." "Careful ace, shatters at the touch." "Weakened perhaps by sensitivity to witnessed." The appellation parasite burrows. Wreckage mood, sun shines to spite you, songs which once soothed you grate, phantasms taint each taste, until with a barren heart gong's vibrating drone anger crests from internal seas mounting crashes in on its own foam lurching the chest forward rupturing a gasp like steam piping through the lungs to expulse mirror: in carnage the unspeakable finds its cacophemism emerging to consume it and wreak wrecktruth. Not yet heaves this burdened breath. Why not yet? How many not yets will I wander through until I admit it? Forever not yet before purpose's condemnation, wilting as the grasp intensifies, holding onto emaciation. Dizzy yet the spilly pulps of wallgray glaresplatter. "Here, sip this," Meluoi. "Sit up a bit." Were there more of me here to touch might I have reeled against a touch, but behind my eyeball backs my being blackdripped. A buckling hull scrunched to the pull. I sat up unwilling to appear dazed nor to force myself from this daze. I took a sip, but a waspish [[sting->msting]] of sour wrinkled my wornness. "Not even water, huh?" Yakacza. Heat or slime, which composed a greater part of me? What do you do when you're genuinely pathetic? With perspicacious equanimity Meluoi checked my forehead, recoiled from the gentle tinge far enough to crowd the bones in my ankles, but she gave a strangely soothing nod and turned and drew Yakacza off. They spoke obliquely about, auguries? Child thicklipped in the corner. Genuinely pathetic. Stand there holding a sign with time heavier and less yours as hundreds pass by judging. Riveted skin sludging to recall the mud dew now baked clothes will hold me up, and what is a heartbeat but beating at a ribcage? Please let it stop, this noise, I can't hear. They see me, and I hate it. Hate. Love throws you against a wall and says, dwell here. Is that what I wanted from however I tried for whatever it is? No, what I wanted was for her to point at herself and say dwell here. That is my mistake, this gulpneed. That is what is wrong with me. Of the many, many, many! My body staled in the airless heatbuzz. Such goes the round and around as we wait worthless. No I. No I. I will not. I won't let them humiliate me like this, throwing myself from the bed, nearly tripped. Debase myself to my own accord. "Whoa, hey!" Meluoi. "Where are you, you shouldn't be on your feet!" "I'm fine. I just need to..." "I could bring something for –" Eat me, rip open a vein gubbling [[upfloe->mupfloe]] to blind the attacking eyes, smash me by the neck onto the floor while you chew into this marrow, while you slurp every poppy drop where still this hypothetia hysterically cries, who of themselves can ask the failures, the inadequacies, the lesser causes, who will be the tomorrow of failure, the evermore of the wasted? Relief thirsty each day, each day blazewilting in search of the tangible approach to humanity, where is, there is possibility, but only if you can somehow make it, and in that absence: not. I will not be your definition to mock. Be doused in blueblack kin or spurn me! Wasting away in the pity and the scorn of the ruthless true and false perception...

An arm wrapped itself around me. "Ho friend, shall we up?" Might as well be my head's pounding. Looking up and at but not at nor through but at the cataract which blocked him. "Do I know you?" "Know? Know! Classic, can tell we're gonna be mates hey." "Please, I, need to be –" "Hell kid, you got the look keeps us intimate; shall we whisper sweet nothings on the way?" Relent's requisite shoulder slump. "Unroll your limbs eh? Look you've just slipped a butchery, have you now, good on you, you slippery dyenne, give us fish smile they gave you? Wear that stare into a drink and we'll aftermath at a sending, that's how they say it, you know, swear on my swearing hand." The left side of my face winced. The light glared. I sighed. "I'm skint." "Nah, shove your purse down where your problems bubble, as then we can drown them both lah. I'll slip by on your scraps I will, even usefulize myself to the degree, got these brews shelved in my soul I do, know them like a dad knows which ones to disown." "Just, I, I have a headache, please don't rob me, I just don't want that right now." "That's the spirit! I knew you'd turn, don't they always do. Come come, I'll show you, meet the only one I've met who always meets me where I meet it, the shelves, aren't they as rigid as what people think truth is! Lovely sturdiers shouldering so many glass worlds, makes you pause in awe, doesn't it, does me anyway. All that choice gets to you yeah, shoves you face first in your own ignorance, slaps you filthy in your mind's fouls, but that's what you got me for, you utter absolute insect bzz brain, you total mind disgrace, let me enlighten your pale unawares with this yeah, the Shake Me Shallow is it, that brunette up yonder, by geskecz it's a showup, tastes like a scorpion got loose in your mouth, and as the scorpion's dripping grime, and the grime and your mouth's blood and the venom and the saliva get all mixed writhestriking down your throat, truly inimitable cocktail of poison bloodsludge with a bile chaser, it'll feel like your mother's kisses you barely a grasshopper bug bastard, gods I'd break your skull if we weren't the best of pals. Real rollicker that [[flagon->mflagon]], guarantee it'll shake you free, it's all in the name you know. "I can tell you don't like it. I hear you, I hear you. Got no subtleties for a pretty of your pastiche. From a different place to a different taste, that's what my old kicker used to say, bless his smushed corpse. How about Melt Not Felt? That sounds like your go." "Melt Not Felt," as pejoratively as possible. "That's the [[name->mname2]]. Hot as can be, maybe hotter, sometimes it burns your insides so bad you can see through to the gods and debate them the metaphysical of temperature. Honestly I don't know how they do it, cause it just sits there on the shelf, no tinder, nothing, but you pour it and slap my jaw ajangle if it's not boiling. Three shots of that stuff and whoosh, there goes your esophagus, right out the window, right onto the pile."

Under my breath chanting. Fingertips catlike stretching from an assassin's knuckles. At any moment leap out and strike whatever hunted. What Kaiya had been bereft steal and horde, I can rectify, in this together as we have always been even when I would not hold you back up will I redeem myself to you and your judgment alone, but then first answer this: who was I to be absolved to the [[imaginary->mimaginary]] purity? Build down themory sheath to the waking day problem too late to pacify nightness. You are only the after, the too late, this too in the desolate. No, I must, I cannot, must grab my humanity by its jaw and yank my and our necks to attention and scream until buried scorns rise from their graves to rally a secret voice whose atonal reply will burst this bulging veinblare furor against the unshaken quelle quietly condoning the massacre unmourned waning in the ultramarine haze. Landed cheek first on a granite wall. Kaiya! I couldn't, that I never will, fighting will I never had to speak my own locked knees. Live this afterdeath, you mongrel. "I struggle to feel like anything in my soul deserves to survive the coming fires," Nyneme. "The fires are coming. Eventually the noises sear into the flesh too loud for sleep. Sickness intensifies to your breaking point, but already are you broken, so time trundles along your flats, never a snap but a squelch of muck bubbles popping. Wan and waiting as sensations dull. Dry rain feeding rosette stars on a scorched blank. Is it so wrong to [[fall->mfall]] short? Things could have been better, could they? Straining out every last failure until some marble nothing outlives you to clutter walkways of wanderlust eyes. I collect in a thousand boxes, all of them the same. Scraps summoner of dead dreams jinn in the years stuck drymouthed on torn paper recollections. Why not alongside the ache, why this struggle to prove ourselves more than hollow?"

"I'm no so ehh..." "Aye, couldn't agree your disagree greater, I've kenned you, shall we strain you the right way round hey? Get you going to where you belong? Then we've got to be scientifical about it, we've got to run experiments. You haven't done much experimentation yourself yoh? You seem the type. Well, we'll sort you out. Oi, we've got a live one to test! You got a draft to drink the dreamer screamy?" "Yeah so," the barkeep. "Is he from below then?" "So far below you'd think he'd crawled from sea. They say that's what happens down the Docks, these gelatinous webbed waddlers flounder to pub, learn new way to drink their life. I never thought it myself til I saw this precious little dazer, seems shocked to individuate out the chthonic gendering." "Well ho to up, which is the fish's taste?" "That's what we've to test! Give me your elementals, we'll mix them by react. What say you the fundamentals?" "I'd say there's six ways to torture honest according to the matrix of individual, social, spiritual, as measured in disequilibria between internality and externality: for individual disequilibriation from internal to external, [[disparation->mdisparation]]; for individual disequilibriation from external to internal, [[weltschmerz->mweltschmerz]]; for social disequilibriation from internal to external, [[sysauthentice->msysauthentice]]; for social disequilibriation from external to internal, [[keisaku->mkeisaku]]; for spiritual disequilibriation from internal to external, [[prayer->mprayer]]; for spiritual disequilibriation from external to internal, [[penance->mpenance]]. So we shall pour out intensities of each within minima of else so as to properly gauge through the reaction the spectrality of this set."

"I'll pass." "Pass? I bet you'd like, you're not here to waste time yah, you're here to grab that yvera by the rags and bash them into the soiled linoleum like a debtor, dig into their skull with your fingertips, you're here to suck out the brainpulp from that beisza time. I got you." "I –" "No, no, I got it ace, you didn't climb all these Floors to play tipsy dancy. You're a real desperate, you're real desperate, you want a brew to blow your pops off. You got that vibe eh, I can tell these things, I'm better than a clock at telling what it is, since I'm so broken I'm right only once a day and this is it right now, I can feel it, what you need is Muscle This. That gizzle you to salivation hor? It's hard, it'll hit you hard, but somewhere in the afterland you'll spasm satisfied I'm sure." "I –" "Sold! Aye, keep! Wake up, yego, you got pockets!" He threw a mug at the keep's head. There was a loud smack but no reaction. "Fjelske eahh, that would've woken me! What's wrong with him?" Voice hidden in the yawning darkness: "Didn't you hear? Ancestored. The other one is by your feet." The man looked down and saw a gasping face lying nearly lifeless near his boots. "Well abide me to catch a bit of luck, tab's free. Frankly, you're the one who's robbed me now." "Don't let it bother you," climbing over the bar. Because my sinews felt so good doing it! Every fiber felt free. Yielding to sudden unpromise, elixir of choosing to be doused in fault liberation. Why was it so easy? Fun to forget, let me for a moment drown! Why must this life, I'll break its teeth, give it to me! "Ey! Keep's dead?" A head popped in. "Aye," said the darkness. "Hmm," and it left. I glanced nervously to where my shoulders angled the cornice. The man raised a large jug of inky muck. "To these corpses and ours!" I grabbed the first bottle I could find and raised it. "Guess I'll." We clanked bottle to jug, uncapped, lifted our throats in pining. Heat of the flesh stripped away, the dreams washed out, sheer isolation. Aria of the drowned drawn, pressurized sloshing in the ears as your hand shoots up wild, voices shouting. Sensations steely on the skin contracting in sick splaned freezes, sensations slick, more watery than the water like a jellyfish barbs sparking more blue than the more purple depths. Cool jelly slackened on the spine which suddenly ignites, spine aflame. Must land in a different river: guide the god elsewhere! I spat out brown, sticky. My palate coated with the foulness choked, and I heaved dry air to replace the bitter taste. Even more thirsty than before. Lean on the shelves, nope, crashed against them and smashing glass after glass in shard avalanche swerved to the ground. I threw up my hands to guard against the impact: blood in my nose and blood on my lips. "Bysze," spitting out a reddish gruel. "Ey, what you take?" He grabbed the bottle from my opened palm. "Gutpuncher? Never heard such one. Oi, slackthought!" There was a grunt from the invisible. "The hell is this Gutpuncher hey, you try this one? Is it new?" There was a grunt from the invisible. "Huh. Well, how's it taste, comrade?" "Kinda like Gutpuncher," hovering in pushup position. "Gotta swig this. Here, you borrow mine, The Bugs Don't Stop Biting, it'll scratch your itch!" Tried to rest my head on the [[floorlevel->mstart11]] rack. Swiveling back and forth, back and forth, a head or a pendulum: the room blended pseudoshape and color. Collapsing near me his head slapped my knee. "Yoww... why'd no one ever tell me about... bakyeko..." Bakyeko? Is that? That's a word, isn't it? Is that a word? "What's bakyeko?" "Eah? Well you know like the rest of them, but uh think it's technically a uh, what is it then, oh it's a chair isn't it, yeah it's chair in the language." I massaged my forehead with a palm, hot to hot in feverish rub. "How'd you know that?" "What, you think I read the names to you from memory hey? All my lost yesterdays disagree." We mingled in the bloody glass mess. "What's um, what's your name?" "Hmm?" The man cringed the first tic of the unnumbing pain. "What name do they call you?" Laughing the man pointed; I could not follow.

Recourse to this conundrive concavity and witness what lies within it, epheme esprit incense trails praising the dome, neither side of it heaven, but because of the impassable its feverish meshes permeable, [[maze->mstart11]] through it doubts and wanders to magic the impossible a home, you can dwell there more than here, what else then to fear but the rebound quiver to sterile buzz lengthening into realization this hollow contains you more than the phantasmy, contains the phantasmy uncanny its corollary containment, you are dispossessed by this projection’s relation to your rebound. Process of nightmares such narrowminding claustrophobe.

Jaufr's glare chillchoked my words. I could feel how wrong what I said was, but then the wrongness annoyed me, made me speak more freely, anxiety bursts were my form of anger. "That maybe it's not so easy to change ah! Our ways aren't accidents, Jaufr, they're where we settled most assured: real flaws, real causes, idiosyncrasies, reasons for all this. Whatever is being highlighted, drawn out, expanded from the pool of norms, it's ourselves, not arbitrary, in fact it is more true than whatever reasons we pretend to give. These are predecisions that can't be fixed in a generation because they've locked us in their glacial process. Collective recognition may tilt our lumbering culture in a new direction and so we try, but every single step is an admission, and that takes time, lots and lots of painful time, and the process is bigger than us, we're two people, our only value will be in however many more people we two mean something to. Society is designed by accumulations of our crushed against walls, we ourselves cannot expect change, and –" "Cannot expect change? Yeska, Emnin, you sound like them! Difficulty is no reason to surrender. You and I both know that, knew how difficult this was going to be, but I didn't hear any complaints coming from you then. What changed? Are you tired from the workload? Bitter at having to do so much? Maybe you realized the scope of what lazy you were assigned to, now you're backstepping to blankets? We can change, Emnin, we've seen it happen, it can, it will, I promise. Simply the effort in it, and time, you're right, but time we have to give, that we must –" "Listen though, reason to my with you lah, but not naivety. I don't expect change beyond my chrysalis, and even if, if it were there, it wouldn't be me in the open air to claim the flight redemptive. What I was born into will claim me, that's my one certainty. Reason I'm here is because I, believe in, in our ideals, want to achieve some good so small as my soul, bless the next condemned with softer glows in which they can care our [[condition->msting]] closer to ever elusive bliss, and we might push ourselves by degrees to our true center, we might point the way to the possible people who dwell at where the compass points. I love other people, and maybe doing something good too is my way of, meaning something to them. I know in everything I do I'll fail, but that failure cakes, adds weight, combines with every prior failure, even minute things share a direction, so that when we crash down my speck will have meant something, helped somehow. No one wins a battle, but one group survives less, so we overpower the enemy in [[advances->mstart11]] as sentences of a human testament..." Jaufr strangely let the point stand so I did not instead.

"Let's give this the go ah?" Disjunction sentience recompels your recalcitrant never to conform inlay perfection impossible to your twisting squirming yearning, halo entomb denied. Project I on any surface nonsurvivor, martyr worship the slip, the seal, the vain hope any coherence will [[congeal->mstart11]]. False fundamentals we wander elemental vestige to enchain hyle to mana and molt but germinull we cannot corrode revolt ascend pure, castform hells. "That one's really snapped him aye!"

"This ought to engage your gauging, let me poor you a measure." Individuation immanizes predicament in divisibles. Sepulchered in a pattern circumscript deriver of version to zeropoint unrepresentation, solute pervase am I lace to cohumanitate the helical interweave, doubling of our doppelgangering across symmetries singulating, replicated alterior, from which then arises the aversion to faultfeel, how coelisions nestle. Endurer of the durate reciprocate, yearning afters coterminal noncoterminate, spirals of spiration celadon to distance beauty, all of us quivering before allvoid. Insofar as not you, I dream through you, am wound up in your wound to hurt volted freedom, finally disindividuated, suffering sublimity universes our [[containments->mstart11]] gravitational conduits nigh torn by elusion unillumines prisioning accelerating expansion to accrete express. Worldpains siegsieving wordstrains to sole soulsol source. "Eah see as to that one, I'll share in that!"

"Into this one then, off you go." No authenticity ordained to you, variation on a theme. To what would you adhere but externalizing excisions? Do not belove your malleations! Nonpith assumptives stagnate, regress to ethanol, burn off miasmas mephitic of mindcracked fueling your acceleration into narrowed, traveler upon veins to places without names, yours. You cannot coordinate to this plane without submission. Do not belove your malleations! Slaughtered systemically pseudoindividuated [[sloughed->mstart11]] irrevocably a skingambit to humiliation aware of partial answers fizzing off to your nudity needing as carnival jaws holler welcome, welcome, enmesh in the mire as you must, enter condemned to lies insideous, bend yourself into this brutal vicious invidious judgement guillotine: guilt guaranteed! Maya teases of liberation will slake you long enough to forget the blade that forgets you, castforms you off another pointless in the pile. Reach out for translation ambrosia, grasp the sentencing lacuna. "Ooh, rollicking with that crash is he, savors it doesn't he? How suspicious! I don't trust it!"

"Try this one then, excels to quell the taste to simmer hum." Cease not to kneel though surging from you seems strength. Say not your name thouh the bell harmonizes its unintoned. Strained into peaceably non. Let go of irruptivented indentity. Worship abortion fusho. Untie your twained witnessed to plunge into pure. Irrecoverably revoked. You are not of value but as you are melted. Do not pursue desire, [[pursue->mstart11]] the pyre, howl aflame damned your song unique of the cosmic seethe. Purpose is not ambition, purpose is not fulfilment, purpose is crescendo: graviton energies collapser gyre to erupt supernova erasure brilliance. Artwork revel unto undoer dyname a spectral signature, unsmithy of sentiences poetry. Canceling vibrations tension silence immerse salvelation, reemergence of runic verbum sun. Grove sacred crimsonlit as stag gods athame your thirsts to stream verlust to velvet the void. "Buckled to that one straight eh, suppose he's amplified to that."

"Give this one to your succor." Divinity of openness as you await assuages the division into closures frozen. Evolve beyond limitation unto evenstar. Revolve periception semioticizes the search, knelt in sharer, beauty of spoken unto unknown intimacy, survivor in hopethroat regalia. Metamorphose fear per force fulcrums the genesis automatica shunted nubulae steam to vent vulnipleura chromatica, suspension brilliance in which pleiades we perform distance to wroughtship, dreadnought of acuity to prayer project. Before maxima narrow to null transit, sieve infinity, [[semblance->mstart11]] conduit. Colubrine vestrals of stars severe the fault to volta envolute to you, wellspring worship. Whom do you annihilate into appear? "Splashed through that fine enough, guess that's as goes."

"I know it isn't appetizing, but just force yourself down it." Each awake a luminescent atrocity, castigate your crave to lifeinstill to indrill dreaver, riven of stars to core. Trascender of the ceaseless contingencies of arbitratenes, assumptive subsume to punishment [[excised->mstart11]] purity, penance, certainty of soul. You're only real insofar as you suffer. Localized minima hollow to reverberate throatcage psalm, invocation of grander voidvoice, denied into deified. "Leave him o, he's in the mood of it."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XI''] --- Floors malaised, muttery disjunctures unsleeving from skein, a [[Sixth->msixth]] loosing into a [[Seventh->mseventh]] revolting into an [[Eighth->meighth]] belying in our numbness nervous a [[Ninth->mninth]], a [[Tenth->mtenth]], how so much could amount in the eyeball rolling nauseous with ascent to please, someday, sleep... //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Floor after Floor feeds the fever until sickly spluthering in swelters and visions we [[fugue->mwanblood]] to raiser qua sheer momentum, tesseractic [[thrusts->mstart11]] of terminalities through indeterminacy shiftlayers, fog of being. There is no choice but to step and step and step and stride. Carried upwards by how too weary we are to halt the hurt.

Flights unraveling their stairs, wake up, you are motion. As we strolled through the Sixth hundreds of attentions, not all visible, swiveled slowly deliberate mouths yawning wide at seventeen janglers ringling tinny and loud: equipment, purses, ambition, whosoever's it was. Under reign we strode through what glared semidisbelieving at our impudence, our incidence against slanted roofs, buckled walls, a hole not a door now a door. Subdued by the [[airborne->mairborne]] nepenthe many did not register the chance, for several ripples we pushed through though by the center mutters uttered an amounting buzzing until four holepocked shirts, shoes in sets shared amongst them, finally righted the Floor to itself. "You got some buddies," no man's land between question and comment. "Stop," Olosz. "Olosz, you'll get your pay. I'm impressed you [[swindled->mswindled]] this many up here." "Say, bbwhh, two handfuls?" "Here's a plan hey," [[Leiska->mleiska]]. "Shut to vise and haul out eh." "Sound, love it, absolute genius that. We'll judge it to ayes. Lads?" Nobody replied.

Ferrous jam mosses rustlogs sappy sticky molasses ambery shadowflective. Girders crag the [[stabscape->mstabscape]], bone wreckage of a [[beamroarer->mbeamrorarer]]. Cannot step but sludge in indeterminate damps. Impastos of prised apart impressions lugubrious. Slants sine. Ghost chills slugtrail through viscera, longings taciturning gunmetal. [[Axialities->maxialities]] of discordance we wheel free radicals through skeletal lungs gust of wan, wanderers onward.

Climbing, [[climbing->mclimbing]]... "As to the Kobyu though was his unstable eahh," Kostiye. "Instability is the action of the since settled, is how the phrase goes –" "That's not how it goes," Leiska. "That doesn't even make sense." "But Kobyu was definitely unstable about his, you know. He stood for something, in dying. Not many of us will be so lucky, or maybe we all are, who's to say." "You, presumably," Yakacza. "Almost never excited he was, but when he was you couldn't help feel the inspiration, either absolute monotone or unintelligible gush ah. There's beauty in those extremes; you witness something far beyond the compass of the days." "It's instability is the cessation cull." Mylecz. "What are you on about?" Pyeisa. "Hell not ah, that doesn't make any sense," Kostiye. "The hell's a cull?" Tyese. "Culls are terrible, they eat them in Umae's," Mojyi. "Tastes like ground rock." "All rocks are on the ground, beisza," Yakacza. "Keep your lacks to your pants euh," Mojyi. "You've never seen a cliff?" "The hell's a cliff?" Tyese. "A cliff is the ground though, that's the, like that's what –" "You're gonna sit here and tell me a cliff, what goes up into the air, is the ground?" "Aye and so what the mountain's the sky?" "The hell is a mountain! What is all of you on?" Tyese. "And I mean though, here's his gig, right: Kobyu was a terrible mechanic, but he loved machines. Building something like a machine is how logic becomes artistic, right? Really bought into it he did, bought into it deep. Searching for some sort of bliss beneath the bolts or so, but never could, maddened him. Blamed himself as guess he missed it from ignorance, cause he refused to believe that, I don't know, he expected a good machine to not only fix a problem but also like a hole in himself, which would be one thing if you were at least really good ahh, but obviously he hated everything he made, couldn't bear his own stuff, and that just made everything worse. [[Naked->mnaked2]] in the dream of clothes is what killed him. Thinking the roof wouldn't just be the floor raised. The people breaking his machines, sure, that was the emotional burst, but what had put him there was his own neurotic need for function to be flawless, this inborn failure that after brooding in so many sleepless nights bladeblossomed to misanthropy." "Kobyu didn't hate himself," Mojyi. "Did you meet the kyauska? Kobyu was one of the most arrogant people I ever met, couldn't get a word in edgewise, kept thinking he'd slap me and slip into babytalk." "That's not what misanthropy means." "No, but you said he hated everything he did," Mojyi. "That's not what I, you, you dyenne..." "Wait so, is babytalk, are you saying like, how someone talks to a baby, or like how a baby talks?" Kostiye. "Mate they're the same, that's why people talk to babies like that, so it's in their language," Mojyi. "That's not why," Yakacza. "It's because they can only understand exaggerated emotions, they don't got subtleties." "Isn't that what I just said?" "No, it's a completely different –" "Well then you just made that up," Mojyi. "We do it to mimic them." "Maybe babies only talk like that because we talk like –" "Shut the shit about babies, geskecz," Tyese. "Maybe Kobyu's arrogance was a mask, not like that's never happened," Pyeisa. "Put on a tough show to hide his weaknesses." "Who the hell would see his weaknesses?" Yakacza. "He was the only still to build." "Guge," Tyese. "Guge doesn't count hey," Pyeisa. "He's in for sexers. That's, you know, that's different." "The difference is one's useful," Volya let the ambiguity crouch on a brief silence. "Did you guys ever check out Guge's autorod though?" Vasya. "That thing was like actually dangerous. Was an honest sight to behold, made you honest just to see it. I heard say when he was testing, he botched the alignment, punched a second slip in some poor sot. You see it, you don't doubt." "That's gross," Yakacza. "You're gross. Maybe shave before you call someone else gross hey." "What now?" "All the gunk from your vile bubbles out through your bad skin like vines, get stabbed and they'd not cut through your overgrowth." "What are you, who even are you? I'm not some womanly dyenne like Jaufrei." "Yeah but you have like way too much. You have three times too much." "Oh that's math is it?" Pyeisa. "And who are you to judge?" Yakacza. "Ask the ladies how it's supposed to be. I got the build that demands a bit of texture." "I've had so many more ladies, as you say, then you, so don't you lecture. I'm privy to what's dragged to privy." "Gods," Mylecz groaned. "And what do they want eh? Let on your secret, oh master." "Sleek, strong," Vasya tensed his muscles. "Someone with full curls, light stubble, hazel cream with a warm touch." "Oh stop," Volya. "You're embarrassing me." "Nah, you're too sunbroiled, rather prefer someone with a natural brogue." "A brogue?" Pyeisa. "A brogue is it?" "What's a brogue?" Lomia. "I think it's a shoe," Yakacza. "You can buy brogues on the Docks." "It's a metaphor, kyauska. Brogue colored." "Can't brogues come in a bunch of colors?" Tyese. "Course they can," Pyeisa. "The classic brogue though. The classic light brown." "My brogues are a polished black," Kostiye. "I think Vasya meant vogue," Mojyi. "I've heard the phrase, he's so vogue." "No, you're thinking of vague," Tyese. "Vogue's not a word." "Vogue's a word!" "Vogue is indeed a word," Leiska. "I've never heard of vogue," Tyese. "Obviously," Leiska. "Learn something each day." "Speaking of which," Gyadalta, "I learned like a week ago that, I forget who told me, but that when bakers get a bad shipment of flower –" "Always," chuckled Lomia, once a baker. "They'll actually raise the price a lot, because that way nobody they respect will spend on it. Apparently they'll sell just as much ah, cause when the Firsters buying their shipments get a whiff of what they call craftwork pride, they'll splurge themselves soaked. Can taste like rats aye, but they'll cherish the fine rat texture to the crust. You can sell them anything as long as you're cruel about it." "Too much inbreeding," Volya. "Where's Olyasz?" Gyadalta. "He's usually good for a round of guilt." "Aren't we all," I mumbled. "No, that's stupid," Mojyi. "Eh, it actually makes some sense," Kostiye. "We all succumb to our succumbing." "What?" "Huh?" "What are you on about?" "Brogues," Vasya. "No, he's talking about –" "Hush!" Leiska. "Listen." "What am I, a baby? What you hushing me for?" Mojyi. "Baelu, don't get us back to the –" "Shh! Listen. We're not alone." "What do you mean –" "Shh!" Low whistle wind. Old stone [[cracked->mcracked]] beneath our feet gently groaning. Even in the empty the expectation's drag insinuation guttered through us dread weight. Skeletonly a spindly figure boneface first emerged from the lip of a hole hulching our throats to catch its fear. Hyperthin body stretched too long standing to address us.

Tired into place. Worn through your soles but the detritus caked them back up. Once you admit you have no agency, so easy to drift past your limits, unmoored towards whichever outer attains. Frangible will flakes shellbits in our blinks lieu of tears to mingle with sweat. Burnt sugary throat rumbles lambent sighs too weak to sigh. Grumbling ache which not not moving delays. Bulby orbs shoot from sinewy [[sproutmouths->msproutmouths]] to bubble rainbow above. Cascades of rainslick colorstreams shinepop [[scintilluge->mscintilluge]]. Concrete torns rift to spillash glisten afterseethes slightly foamy. Tangles of [[stranglers->mstranglers]] slipnod to the swelter shimmer. Masses moss the crumblescape bloom.

Arrow whizzflung into our midst; stumbled at his throat clutching Avacz. Startled awake from doldrums of menace cascaded us through swiftlies of charge and countercharge and dodges betwixt. One thief fell, and a second thief fell, and Gyadalta in the fray glistened. About rabbled the crowd but Pyeisa swiped them to admit us. Arrow another flangely quivered in a doorframe. Myeri playacted our rush. Thrilling overdense tripped us up constantly, twice on the ground sprintering back up. Debouching through narrowing lanes which twisted in on themselves loopdeloops we vertiginous sped. Arrows plunked at our suddenly somewhat distant. Vasya leaned onto him a thief who had been struck, whose woundedness perhaps assumed him our cause, the swallowing behind yawning. Shack disjuncts blurring by homogeneous. Berakh's gait skipped atop clouds; Meluoi's kasaya seeming her windborne. Rawness of chafe of rinkling in gear. [[Where->mstart12]] could there be we go greater than the desire to collapse? As if from the void an arrow pinged against our last turn before drunk us up the Staircase.

Olosz shrugged his way over to their side. "How dare you so debase yourself!" Myeri. "We were offering you the chance to -" "They were kind enough to assume I had made a strategy, who am I to refuse the compliment?" "Aye, this'll enrich you certain, these types are loaded with the old goods." The first thief unsheathed his rapier. "Keen this sword? Love the engravings along the side. Don't catch the writ of it, but that only makes it more beautiful aye, the mystery, decoration only starts to mean when lost the meaning. Maybe your blood will wake it up to its old rhythms, used to belong to a reader, you see." Avacz and Gyadalta drew. Lomia shoved to the front. In the narrow lane we jostled awkwardly for position. I struggled to see what was happening. Pyeisa at the back tried to grimace menacingly: out of sheer torpidity, the crowd behind us granted him momentarily the benefit of the doubt. The first thief feinted forward with his rapier. Leiska parried, thrust, the first thief fell. The second and third thieves jumped to Gyadalta. Gyadalta retreated to Avacz, who jounced to double, but he misjudged the timing, and the second thief severed his arm, and as he stumbled back, the third thief severed his leg. Gyadalta took the opening to stab the third thief, but the blade stuck, tug, tug, wouldn't quite come out, the third thief gawped, Gyadalta swung him into the path of a strike, the second thief's sword stuck, and in the confusion Lomia severed his spine. The fourth thief, dyed red hair matched by a freshly bloodsplattered tunic, came from the side, but Vasya disarmed him. Slowly he sunk to his knees, hands raised. "Ey uh..." Pyeisa's voice was shaky. "We better..." Roofs and alleys teeming. Someone hung out of a window with a blade. "Run!" Leiska. "Push through!" We followed orders. A fifth thief saw us charging and dodged out. "No no no no, hey, wait!" Avacz raised his gushing stump as I stepped over him. "You can't leave me!" "Sorry ace," Pyeisa mocked a prayerful bow. "Give my regards to Mazyu." "You beisza!" Avacz. "You can't do this to me! Wait! Please!" "A guide!" Myeri. "We need a guide!" "The locals seem unfriendly," Vasya. "Maybe this'll do." "Ow ow, not that arm, please ah, not the arm!" The dyed haired thief. "I think it's broken!" "My apologies," Vasya pulled him up to a headlock, "but no time for introductions." Two youths leapt across a gap between shacks above our heads. Armed men about twenty yards in front of us charged into our path, then, seeing our size, seeing Lomia, exchanged glances and darted out separate ways. An arrow shot lazily from nowhere pinged off a wall, more a pisstake than a threat. We kept rushing, rushing, the crowd minus a few natural sprinters wallowing anemically behind. The Seventh Staircase neared. The buzz dimmed. Gyadalta was the first up the [[steps->mstart12]]. I glanced back for Avacz but saw only the crowd milling.

"Listen," Leiska. "There's seventeen of us and four of you lor. I don't know if you can arithmetic, but that's what astronomers like to call a noticeable difference." "Your wrist tics? So does mine ehh, have you tonic to it or?" "No no, seventeen, where do you get such ideas, have the Docks truly gone so awry? There's four of you, four of us, then as many four mores as it takes for us to be done. Can't you count?" "What?" "Surely an astronomer such as yourself believes in equality. We're not brutes, my honorable learned delectable sir, my beloved lord, delicious admiral, supreme god of the immense titans, tenderest so supple lover whose every curve is candied, gods I could kiss you! We're not brutes. We ought to do this nice and mathematically, mechanically, intellectually, directionally, erectionally. Why even bring counting into this?" "That's where you're wrong," Gyadalta. "Bounce out or I'll show you the road to seven." "See now that's cute. I like that one, they've got a wit worth spilling out to slurp up. That's what you should've said instead of pissing yourself, not one to slurp there." "You really think you'll win?" Leiska. "You're that keen to full up your look to corpse?" "Yeah mate, I'm down like the opposite of up." "Actually, I will kill you, I've warmed to the idea." "That's the spirit! Now we're friends." The fourth thief, red dyed hair still dripping, yawned. "Gods to the bore ehh, posturing as if this isn't about to, all this nonsense hypothetical about how we're not going to rob, or maybe we will, or maybe we definitely will, when fact is I'm starving, like really, as in like haven't the eaten in a week testify, so if we could just, if we could get to the killing already, I'd rather be dead than this." "He's absolutely right. Someone bra this man's brain." "Truly outstanding. Standing ovation would I had I leg and hand, or I do, but..." "Maybe a wheelbarrow to support that thinker." "Guys, if we could..." "Weigh anchor with that mind, so smartly incapable of being moved." "Right so, everyone ken the rules, four on four, no cheating, we're all honest here, hunger brothers." "They can have more than four, I don't care, just let it be what it is, everyone these days overthinks things." "Overthink? How can you overthink something? Something is or isn't regardless of how much you consider it." "Ask geniusboulder over there, you'd be shocked by his –" "Will you shut up ehh?" "That's not true, that's not even close to true, you haven't the least ontological understanding –" "Oh yeah? Why don't you think it over, maybe you'll enlarge my point." "Guys!" "Okay, gods, baelu, shut hell, not kvetch our last breaths." The first thief fell hard on Olosz in a lunge, but Olosz sidestepped and kicked him to the ground. The thief rolled, eye to eye with Gyadalta, who plunged his lance into the thief's heart. Olosz dug hopelessly in his pocket for his dagger; he dived for the rapier. Gyadalta moved passed him to deal with the second thief who feinted right. Steel crash, sparks. I couldn't quite see. The second thief thrust at Olosz whose roll away tripped up Avacz. One thief to Gyadalta, another swung his cutlass toward Avacz's neck, and Avacz, desperate, raised his hand to prevent the blade, the forearm severed, slapped his face. Olosz bounced to his feet and brawled in. Avacz lost a leg in a second dodge. Not noticing the thief with the dyed hair skulking to his side, one two stab: Olosz sunk to his knees, choking blood. The rapier, once again ownerless, clattered to the floor. The dyed haired thief turned to Avacz and stabbed, but I didn't see where it went. A thief crumpled to the ground. Lomia shook his fist, gruff laugh echoing through the nearby shacks. Gyadalta threw away a severed head. A thief stepped back for a second and assumed a stance. Leiska defted aside him lethal. The dyed hair thief dropped his sword and fell to his knees. "I don't, please, okay, I, I submit to slavery, just don't, you don't need to -" "Suppose we've a new [[guide->mstart12]]," Myeri.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XII''] --- On a branch of an oak a songbird chittering pillowy welcome in sounds spongy, rhythms ethereal slipping tensed defenses to drown brains in glassblower haze, breath [[hull->mhull]] soaked and leaking. With the breeze free of the sea inflowing through leaf aortas to the wooden heart to pthalo blue bloom fireworks, flower dreams insporadically [[circular->mcircular]] cyanosis splatters as the lumination submits to sickle moon winks through a drizzle patter: elder souls whisper here hardly heard, iris in minimum opacity [[glooming->mglooming]] dark tones, [[invisible->minvisible]] silk thunder from shock piano veins, no more we clatters in the bush and the night, [[antisolitary->mantisolitary]] listeners merging with the grove that gives us greater aura glows, illusory touch's repose. Pulse by pulse stronger undulates the whisper's riptide, the taste on your tongue becoming inexplicably sweet... //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

The body slammed itself upon the waiting for the next until we cascaded surprised down a slope unsheathed. Splatterly we clumsied to stance as pincering thrust up a new escarpment. Land beneath us tilted, we flung against its rising and climbed, onwards upwards extending to the act itself, journey as a stasis of steps, as entangling with horizon. Expenditure sheer to sheers shears us nearer to zero, liminal terminal vertical before vault of sky crystal crushed cobalt. Hover of calling, anxiety of empty as opposed to, clinging... Down I looked, mistake yes but not alone, and I saw in Avacz's gaze a, a hesitancy of recognitions, tearless nodding deep in the night over your bed hunched as rheumatisms spike veins until the sigh struggles you up to sit silently at your table in front of an empty cup watching shadows change, seeing your brother's ship slip into sunlight then turning back to all that you have not the time to grieve, his almost a smile at the downness as one does at broken childhood dreams I glimpsed as he glanced back up at us beyond the ripplebulging [[batholithing->mstart12]] an overhang that swallowed his shape from view.

Horripilation sinuous lugubriates millipede synchronous crawling, black flag waving, overtaken in a jolt the body doubles over, then quadruples, octoples, a dozen to a hundred to a thousand of it splintered throughout the Floor, mannequins in freezeframe flickers of a play, disjointed emotives mannerist upon the hollow. Through them we [[hesitate->mstart12]], inching through the thicket of skins, dodging myriad waxball gaze, passivity beyond touch, trying desperately not to touch, Avacz does, the mannequin wraps around him in a scream whirling and all the bodies open up and into each ribcage is sucked Avacz multiplied, the bodies ooze into viscous slurries we trudge through soaked. We try to cry out or question but the stench forces us shut to march.

"Feed." Like a devil's klaxon. Leiska shot a furrowed question at Gyadalta as if this was his fault. Gyadalta shrugged. "Feed." "What's your go there ey buddy?" Gyadalta laughed dryly. "Don't reason with it," Mojyi. "Just stab it." "I'm not gonna just stab –" "Feed." "Okay, maybe I should, I don't know." "Well do something, it's –" Wailing the body smashed its face hard on the stone and ripple cracks snaked around until a portion of it avalanched into a sudden crater carrying Gyadalta, Avacz, Mojyi, and Leiska in its deluge. Racing up the downfloe like a spider fritzing on a flame the body chased Mojyi, but Mojyi whirled onto a slab and sledded down trying to pass it fast, so the body leapt onto Avacz, they disappeared in the avalanche, the body leapt above Mojyi, and he curled into its countercrescent gnashing a small line down the body's meridian with his lance. Rancid brown gunk splat across Mojyi's nauseous dry heaving. Charging downhill mass thudding into a rubble arena about fifty feet below us. The body jumped onto a horizontal bar, swung, flung to scrabble with Leiska who had barely stood up, and the body stabbed a scar with its nails down his right cheek, but Gyadalta kicked it off and threw Leiska out of the way. The body jerked up and looked at Gyadalta who growled a curse I couldn't hear. It snapped its head sideways then fled to an outcrop. Gyadalta followed. The body ran up a small incline then twisting dove past Gyadalta over to Leiska again. Gyadalta turned and ran back. Leiska scrabbled away, but when it came near he stabbed, and the body let the knife pierce its knuckle, then yanked back the knuckle, yanked the knife out, then threw the knife away. The body pulled back its neck then like a serpent tried to strike but Mojyi this time tackled it and hacked at its face. It snarled and scrumpled into the rubble until it was wholly submerged. Mojyi tried to follow but got stuck. The body crawled out six yards away and galloped toward Leiska, but Gyadalta was in the way and severed its right arm. The thing wrenched and roiled and howled, then the thing took off running. Gyadalta lunge followed. Up a pillar it crawled. Gyadalta rammed into the pillar and teetered it, but the body jumped to the next pillar, so Gyadalta knocked that one over, but it ran the opposing way down the pillar before jumping onto and off Gyadalta's head, who cursed as he smashed into what looked like a third of a door. The body ran up to a ledge, but Mojyi had since freed himself and was close behind. The body leapt from ledge to ledge, Mojyi doing a surprisingly good job following, jumping up one, sliding down a pole to another, leaping sprawled across a gap to grasp the edge, then shimmy up a tangle to a higher ledge, but the body jumped to a tight fingerhold on the steep crater slope. It turned its head towards him, giving who knows what sneer. Mojyi, cresting on the ledge, threw his lance into an uneasy bit of rubble resting right above where the body was holding onto and the resulting rockfall sent the body tumbling to the bottom. It stretched in misery, covered in cuts, but it looked up into Gyadalta with who knows what deathly sneer. He slammed a stone onto its skull and in sticky mucous it caved. Once more to be sure. Once more halfhearted in exasperation until Gyadalta stumbled back [[exhausted->mstart12]] and let the stone drop for a fourth blow onto the body's flat skull. He popped his shoulders and posed a glance to us. "The hell was that?" Tyese.

"Unsure eh why they don't just demolish the place, easier than sidling between stabbers." Yakacza. "Uh probably because that would make it harder." Avacz. "You ever try to scrabble about a pile? I'd rather inch along this way." "Why would anyone care how you cross this place? You're not meant to go further. What's there to go for eh? Why anyone the cross but they've got dreamer's greed? No offense, of course, your majesties." Kostiye. "How's that no offense?" Pyeisa chuckled. "Weren't we sidling between stabbers just down? The problem's promulgated." Gyadalta. "Eyehh, you're not telling me it's variations of sidling between stabbers between us and up?" Mojyi. "So's the seem leh." Gyadalta. "Isn't everything? Aren't we always, in one way or the other, narrowing ourselves before stabbing impositions, the way in which -" Mylecz. "Shut up Mylecz." Pyeisa. "Shut up Mylecz." Volya. "It's not that it's so hard to cross." Tyese. "Ay, we've got a skillful to school us," Pyeisa. "To which next lesson, master? Shall we learn to sit around all day in a stupor?" "You've got the passing grade." Vasya. "Ey, you've got bit there." Kostiye. "You're the -" "Look out, hey!" "Fjelske!" Metallic [[substrates->mstart12]] quivered with reverb to entune a snapped pylon to perilous, we straggled out of its way as it, scythe swipe too swift to, and Avacz, impaled. Whiteshock crawl down our crazed tense. Mojyi vomited. "We've got to keep moving, the next could crash, this place is fragile, let's go!" Gyadalta. "Move up you lot, don't just stand there, get on with you or you'll be next, this isn't a safe place to idle, move, move up, go, go!" Leiska. "The world seeks to swallow us, but we'll..." Myeri trailed into goldens.

"Piles of it ah, what used to here?" Mylecz. "Nah, detritus sheer, some places just accumulate, connected to nothing that rests lower. Of all the uppers, this filth; of all the lowers, this filth. Point where we agree not to meet." Gyadalta. "Yeah anything good’s been scavenged, the rest just bides." Avacz. "Didn’t you used to scavenge, Avacz?" Kostiye. "Aye we used to skip up back after the collapse when the ascending used to be freer. We’d a couple of buyers, you know, Kobyu. Hard gig, trying to tell what’s up here is wanted, mercurial lot the tinkerers, drag back a big colorful yego and ah, what am I to do with that, but then parcel out a trinket and it’s Yeska I’ve been after this for years. Don’t know we ever got better at it is why we quit, can only drag down a backbreak of gear through the rabblers just to bargain out the same as on the fishers before you start to shrug off the enterprise." "You used to main in Kapinya’s?" Mojyi. "No ehh, there’s same up in Ayeri’s. Higher up than this but same." "Like as in exactly same leh? Like it’s the same Floor and it connects, or it’s just a copy, or?" "What are you on about beisza?" "Same Floor? You’ve been snuffing in the breaks hey?" Vasya. "You’ve got to be in on the share, we’re all muling together." "The laggard’s dazed." Tyese. "How’s it to connect when saw yourself in the sail nothing but sky and sea between?" Yakacza. "I don’t know how the world works. You know how the world works? No. So shut up your antiquestions." Mojyi. "Thinks being a nuisance is admirable! How have you not latched to him yet, Leiru?" Pyeisa. "Now you’ve drank your Jaufrei bloodless, take this one a host." "He’s a point though you’re all missing, is there’s the same gear up here, all sorts of wonders hidden in." Mylecz. "You can’t be pocketing in junk, you’ve got to march." Leiska. "And which of you thinks they can magically spot the good scavenge hmm? Super difficult the task." Avacz. "Why not the Veda? They’re born inside machines." Yakacza. "How could you impregnate a machine?" Mojyi. "Not for lack of trying." Tyese. "Don’t bother the Veda." Leiska. "What about that yellow there? Zeh roah yakar." Mojyi. "Zeh nereh yakar, yego." Volya. "This? No see, this is why you could never scavenge, this is worthless, look how it doesn’t -" Avacz leapt back from the buzzing twisting as arises assemblance of scattered steel in a prowl hissing vents and scrapescreeching. Mixtures of metals gearhowled cylinders and octohedra rotating rapidly weldlayers prisming through negative space manganese cores which attached to Avacz, lifted to an emergent skeletal steel frame maw, hover hesitate, roared fluorescence beamsearing the surrounding, flashbang we crumpled, through our eyelids saw Berakh singing to the creature stillness. Rain of reruins. We panicked beneath his steady. "The Seleph kindly requests that you do not awaken the sleeping world. The aurora unifier sings not yet." Meluoi.

Metal gauzegleam, in it dissemble ghost, luminously distortably transits of sheer on sharpness arc welded ruins of wonder in which wanderer you wield the cold. Ruminarets tilt towards absences of devote azimuth, wan azure runny to yolk glare of deadlight, beams mewl mere before nonconstructor, puzzle piece yourself enjambment entracte. No, landscapes that do not have you in them, skews which crag your lack. Permanence of your transience. Wreckages, stories told to which you cannot listen, completeness in coda oversinging your dissonance nervous. Exedra phalanx your instance, where could you [[reside->mstart12]], locust painted out of all angles? Unmaker pith spikes palisade the set in a set unsettling your deview.

Cut. Colorstreak wound oozed. Seaspray flung into the choked on its irruptive mistfizzes. Scars in eyesight afterstrike shocks vulbing in rain's dampglare united our hectics an emotive motion. Fierceness [[foaming->mroared]] from shadedouts to scatter senses deeper of fortuitous than we admit in prayers.

In a flash grows a mouth which grasped Avacz, ragdolled him. Pyeisa cut it from its stalk, Avacz writhed with the still biting, in kicks and flails freed. Another flashgrown sproutmouth again grabbed Avacz, punctured lungs spraying us with waters. A vine limbed to twist around my ankle, I cut it, others found themselves splayed. Spikes vinewhipped us crabcrawling. Steel flashes. Swallowers of all we entail entwined our fragilities, frayers we fought against the constricteds, rumbled our way to a distance, some limbs still constricted. In greenblood consecrated so many cries agonized. Everything in a flash over; how are we left [[panting->mstart12]] to process?

Jibes though they blear languid, leaking, safeguarded our refusal. Inability to process prevents us from having to, why not merely march? Exile each stressor to faultlines too thin to lacerate eyelids. Virtuality vented through baubled phrases flue the ready, assume the steady, becomant guise gears. Sparkle nonsolidities undermine ours, the passthrough cannot hold, not our knees. [[Buckled->mstart12]] first one then the other until barking admits the situation Leiska, perched behind ironeyes Myeri and the Veda. Settling in the crouch that cannot commit to becoming comfortable. Playing in the unclear a spout pooling. Gravel mush splurled through shoes, between toes. Outplashed the grime a gemwavery, phlox popping from philodendron flows. Tranced into its danceteases between effusive and eddying, spill and slow sugardrip drive to flushed warmth in mixing mellifluencies. Threads of glamor grottoed beneath buzznumbs, gemfilled them, if only you could feeldelve it true, shivered each of us our failure to, Avacz most of all, his fierceness always foundered in the wake, grimace of menace almost his intense before noninflective babbling that brooked us as equal as the empty. Lensed we all through him intensifier of his vibrating outpacing the purl. Inches of a vagueness we cold recognized penumbraed his grimace through slats of our presuming distance. Watched him shapeshifer of phantasmals while passivebound we surrender to skyrolls of inevitables bleeding about us doppelgangers equally entranced to lay, witness our lightworld muting to contact. Like putting the dying through pain because we insist on life our weight anchored him from leaping into the streaming to strangulate a certainty. Feel in your nose tingle how your face droops to sedimentary frown. Auspices of plain shortcirculate our tics to shadowmotions' genuflect. Each subsequent second jolts in reverse our hesitant, less able to aware, tension stringing violin shrill the taut spring nigh sprung in dissociative bunraku. Sinking into the earth until from below I lithify witness starwhirls in the rise and fall communify promontory throat of an abode not my ownable weathered to grace's relentless austere, some conduit stood and reached for Avacz, but he was not there, nor have we been until now, this fracture we shrug ourselves up to meet.

In the spare and sere struggled up a few shoots, knotted a gnarl of vines, oasis of taut fiendgrips on the vein dots the drainways, rasps of clutch clasped on hushed, pseudolush asps pumping like leeches sucking, snake distensions peristalsis [[rhythmatic->mstart12]] tumorous impositives. Loops cable calligraphies across the grayblack matte. Through them we stumbled over barbs and beside bulbs. In a loud catchstep Avacz righted his foot amid the suddenly swiftly noosing loops, launched up to dangle, he yarbled for help, we swatted and stabbed at the tangle, but it tussled to a whiprush, fended us, upended Avacz eye to calyx, vines pythoning. Mojyi flounced forward to assist, but Gyadalta held him back. "Nothing we can do for the beisza, move yourselves up to go before we get caught in." "But he’s -" "Onward, the lot of you! Fight your way through alive!" Leiska. Though nothing arose to fight our dashing. Simply upon the Staircase glancing back at Avacz dangling and still. Climb nauseation.

"I don't know how many of you remember Captain Jekumi," Gyadalta through our bodies in a virus chorus, "I was a gunsman on his voyage last, the one beyond the buoys. We'd ventured for these reports we got of like metals floating east of Tekoszisz's Sea. Scavengers hired us out. It'd happened before, they told us, that every now and then the ocean spits out scraps from, well you know, from down in there hey. Fascinating full the consider some've scrap from things sunken in the [[mystery->mmystery]], hard to believe there's a world down there right, when you're so used to thinking of the sea as where the world stops, and how do you, like that there might be, beneath all this, something, and it could return to us, talk to us. Scavengers hopped us up on it, and how like things with those runes on sell you moonmad for months. Naturally the wrong thing to tell the guys to get you it, whispers of like, uh the, basically the, the, but um," hesitantly at Myeri, then the Veda, "nothing serious, but bysze, that much coin makes people think, only thing that does, and isn't that why they got us though, like what do you expect, I gotta eat is why I don't hit you when you talk to me. "But anyway, we go out there, sail to about mid of Tekoszisz's Sea, ram through the buoys to ocean, and people scare up like, there's about that vastness, those waves, suddenly not the world anymore, eternity, like living with your eyes shut, feeling around to get by, slime decades in the dank and dark, then suddenly storms the day ripping open your eyes: all your ghosts [[evaporate->mevaporate]]. Of course we shuddered, it was obvious we'd gone too far, that's literally what a buoy means. Rough out there too aye, need constantly keep orientation homeward, or you go sailing a hundred clicks wrong and gods hope you find the continents out there after all. "Now the artifact to their calling was supposedly like four or five clicks out where the buoys slip hazy, so I mean, we're all on edge, I guess literally, such a stupidest thing, have no idea why we did this. We were nervous, but for some reason there wasn't that much about it. We'd done the Central Sea somewhat before, although the ocean is nothing like the Central Sea, I mean minus the pirates the Central Sea's not so bad: you sail long enough in a go, you're back. Not so out there, hanging onto humanity by tinier threads as keep we eking out further, the scavengers shimmying on just yonder ho, sweat a bit more out, the thing could have drifted, and we don't bother to imagine the no, simply okay, fine, sure, you're the purse. "So we're sailing down the line for whatever basically, right? Get a couple leads, but uh we get closer for nothing, glare, goes on for like four, six maybe days ehh. People tire up faster out there, exhausted even those who enlist the moment they disembark, just ocean them and swear each second can't last long enough to contain the complaints. "On the sixth or whenever we scout a gloaming two clicks southwest so. Scavengers [[berserk->mberserk]] themselves about here it is, this must be great, look, look, an anomaly, by the love of lurids it's an anomaly, but Jekumi, he's no idiot, he's not desighting buoys for a damn second, much less to approach an anomaly ah. I was ondecks, right, so I'd the supreme pleasure of voicing my unqualified agreement with that inspired decision, but then they garble the increase on cuts, so whoosh all rationality, not too dissimilar from ah, um, well, nevermind, but Jekumi's in it for more, being of course generous he argues us up a smidge too, and we're off, bye buoys. Sailing mistake one is accepting the bribe for which you never would have sailed, sailing mistakes two through twenty five is ever even thinking about sailing beyond buoys, and uh, sailing mistake twenty six is probably something we were doing. But who isn't to blame for their roles in the dying? There is nothing but regret and suffering, except for all the good things."

Marchers invisibly [[slain->mhate2]] cascade we in acceptance, stance to knee to rolling on a swaddling bed shared as spirits, together in this carnage are we done, but [[Gyadalta->mhull]] harbored resilience lacked we and remained on his knees staring straight up questioning the lullaby ceiling, on a lance leaning. Because things are quiet, my bones gelled, but because I buzzed, my head gratescraped. Will not stop until I untangle what remains of my will's first form stopped in do not I bid my body which breaks off in a teasing ease as without looking I knew she lurked behind the boughs bluster tight to my side, ice sinks its teeth, its bitemark reads a prophecy: at nightfall she'll crawl out headless to drink back her stolen, snakelike quivering rustles hinting. Maybe what I've spoken in earnest has echoed into the earth, mute stones reverberating my pitch to a bass the dead hear, and [[penance->mashamed]] at last will gift me gore. Rip this abdomen apart and squirm in, queen of nightfires denied, choose yourself through my corpse, I will abide, I will abide, bow before you with absolute abinding, wake up in my wornout and wander free of my spine, these bloated intestines, this drippy face, bone chunks from my skull clattering pottery as your art breaks free of this hold, please from my fragments form...

Jaufr's smile was a strange I wanted to structure me, resilient in the molted orange evening like a somehow rose, what would it be like in his arms to rest, have them tender through my nerves, believe in touch encapsulation, but would I then must rise to this surface to accept this stimulus, why. Elide. The ground sweeted through my senses [[syrup->msyrup]]. Circumvent. [[Quash->mquash]]. Whose noose this strain up to see. Nerve nothings tingled the eyefuzz migraine mash. I could have died today, and I need a reason I did not, when I could so easily. My whole life I have been a follower, now I merely moth another path away from the two I owe the most? Like a leech shuffling bloated to the next host's life poetry. Suckfriend dependent on selfsufficient systems.

"We gave the order the obey and out we were leagues to where with bluehaze and sunglare sometimes in the horizon they danced away, the buoys. Watching them go, realizing you’re going, like fleeing the moon. "We pitch nigh whereabouts they’re pointing, the scavengers, bonecertain of mistake. The sea stills, wind calms, peacefulness you know you’re not a part of. We’re searching all around leh, just scanning and scanning, waiting, hoping to glimpse pay. We drop lines to fish it out, deep lines, we’d gotten the biggest about before disembark, as if to kiss the continents, as if to dredge up every last sent to reminisce, not this distance after all. "A hit slugged up the pull, so we'd all to a heave, the whole ship on it, dragged everyone up, basically capsized the ship for it, but voila, there in the sunlight, well, I don't know, nobody knew, least of all dyenne tagging us along like they knew. Looked like a, hmm, unsure how to even describe, like a lancet, sorta? Can vividly the remember, but describe... because to describe was to miss it, not to be simply before it, this whatever from the sea. Silvery, I'll say so much. "The talk went up about price, they'd bantered it a high barter, then despair of it just there before them slunk us, then someone would pipe up some fever dream they had, and we'd back be about the loaded for life all of us. Anyway, what'd it matter, it's the buyer who's to find a use for it, yeah? As I saw it any from the sea was equally priceless, as in literally, what could you exchange of our world to give it meaning? "Indeterminacy mixed with greed and we went hunting for more, sure as we're guilty of a first go, we'll sign to a second and so. Fished ourselves up a thingness most severe, and I saw in it the futility to stop it lor, how suddenly aware I was of what I was a part of, and how impossible it was to extricate, how hypocritical, how the only honesty we have is to suffer recognitions. That it annihilated the ship I need not tell you, how I need not try to say, only that it did, nary but a few of us popped up afterwards, and we deserved it, though why we who [[survived->mmarko]] deserved, let eulogies struggle to explain. "But perhaps they don't need, because I've gleaned you don't need to understand, only to reflection, to authentice your integrated its conduit. That's the get on you, your complicity, and you've but to admit, suddenly the pressure welcomes you a friend, the chaos introduces you to lost siblings, the mystery contains you, and if you belong, what's it matter where or why?"

"So we fix for the gloaming. Even before we pitch it becomes clear how bad an idea this is. There's this noise, and I mean this noise lah, like hissing across the blade of a knife but earcracking loud, and it's like swear could you smell it the so loud. Off our nine's this soapy whirling like if you ever watched a fly drown in grog. Didn't know what to think, scavengers neither. They get this mixed expression of sorta absolute horror and touchies tingly. Sky goes kaleidoscope with vagabond shapes that I mean didn't even seem to fit right, boxes that aren't boxes but become circles, triangles with triangles spitting out other triangles into some oval below, I don't know man, crazy stuff. We should have coursed out, but who could? Who sees something that shocks new beauty into your skull and decides to squeeze away decades more in their hulking blands? Why not just let it kill us, you know? We don't have enough love for death when it's death that rhymes us. Die beautifully, and it's like your life always had this meaning, suddenly everything is framed by the pose the struggle strikes up. If I don't die to the blessed hatreds of the sea, then lie to everyone that I did, please, by gods don't let me slump over at a pub like I spent my life, stab me a thousand times before you throw me in, so the ghosts can know who joins them, or I hope to gods there is no afterlife, but wouldn't it be nice, just for a moment, to see my father's disappointment in a son so perfectly an echo... "But anyway so this thing shoots up, whoosh, there it goes, flash so bright your retinas sear, can't for anything but fields of white for whole minutes, and when you do it's like wandering through a ceramic underworld, colors that just feel, drained, somehow, like drinkstains at the bottoms of unwashed cups, with these esperial purples auraing, unbearable reverb around every edge. The other sailors seemed paler too, sickly so, even Tawisz I think his name was, his blackness had, I mean, glowed without getting brighter, like space in a lantern's shadows. They were longer too, taller, though some were shorter, mirrors thrusting our bodies from true centers, and one punter, was this bulky dyenne, had, I'm serious, had literally melted, gone, bones and dust, and not a sense to his melted but no one else, even asked Kobyu explicate when I reshelved, and he pretended some evade, but I mean, was gone, the guy, gone, nothing left, just vaporized him completely, it was absurd, and no one else! How's that to think? "Then after this delay like forever this massive explosion, just, boom! Capsized immediately. Those who'd managed to get to their feet after the flash were blasted off to good riddance, one of the scavengers too, serves him right lah. At this point hull is topside, there's this unbelievable racket from the rows, because obviously they're all trapped so, topside is the ocean, they can't out, but sure as you can hear me their voices got out, and it's, it's not worth describing. "Moreau had, gods know how, but he'd gotten the lifeboat out and righted. Was a mess the lad, a mile a minute tongue on the angels were ripping the seams between us and dreams, something about a dancer infinite before death, words that seemed to melt into not sure what, so [[Marko->mmarko]] had to slap him out of it, although I think it just shut him up, but that was same difference to us five, there's five of us the only ones out, we're rowing in what seems right, fingers crossed, going slowly because, you know, we felt a little bad would it that someone surfaced as our boat way over aways, but we're also not going to take any chances on a round two explosion, or an implosion, or maybe an ambiplosion, or who the what. Kobyu said it was probably destroyed by the explosion, the thing, the so called artifact, which is, take that for that, cause he'd no idea what to call it, or, but this is what keeps me sleepless, why it was even out there in the first place. I mean, do you know what it was, Veda? You might know." Meluoi, who'd been preoccupied with a small book, swung her head sideways. "Hmm? Oh, um. What, what'd you say it looked like?" "White, soapy, flew up and exploded." "Um. I can't say I know off the top of my head. Please grant me a second." She turned to Berakh. They spoke. Meluoi nodded. "It sounds like it could have been an ilisenyke pulse, but I'd have to know more to really say what it was. There can be things that are, um, they're compressed by the water in uh, in a complicated way... it's not really something I've studied." Gyadalta gave a noncommittal shrug. "There you have it," he gestured with an open palm.

"So we get part of the way there yeah, compelled equally command and curiosity, once you’re out, the jitters of knowing wrong and reaching the unknown, pressed into thrills of trouble freed, there’s the elixir to brave you, but so the comeup and we’re nearly on it, or so we imagine lor, there’s then like this vertigo to it’s over there, like you blinkretch your way new directional, so out we there wander, only then for it again gone, dizzy tilter of veins and brainfire, we’re plastered about the bow moaning through the planks to the rowers to go, go, we’re nigh upon it, still yet we splash up on it’s just distant, and each time the tease we uncontainablize, engines thrummed to the endless work, until barely can we seethe not to burst, foam we into one another a rage ripping and clawing like the artifact hides within skin, like we can [[bleed->mmarko]] ourselves the final distance, and didn’t it seem so true as I teethed into a body may as well be mine, it gnarled the migraine multiple, seeing triple, each new illusive a chance to clasp the eluding. Can barely even recall it all to tell you, the vivid dense. "But somehow we beach upon it, the object, bump over, but it rockets through, shot straight through the hull and flesh and bone, above us flares carmine, fusion furnace, grafted mewling, passion thrashing, coughing faces dollops through droopmouth puckers, the lot of us destination. Claimed, not but I, spark severed to I, horrified nailpawing to placeure, out of the mire I spun unto over the brim splashed once more an amassed, crash submerged to cyan swallowings as all about burned a brilliance I will volt relive when blinded. "To the surface I struggle by instinct where bobbed a few blackeneds distinct and I among them was gasping for breath. A hand tugged me to sky, bobbed in a too solid, all of this too real…"

My fingernails scratched the dirt, thick liquidy feel as the sooty gel burrowed, removable, yes, but imprinted now, an outline that will endure, tied me to the earth, kept me further from the shade grip shore... "To be honest, I'm kind of surprised nobody surfaced after. Some were probably still blinded, some maybe weren't so good swimmers, couldn't get out of the shadow of the ship and what else, perhaps the blast had maimed some or so, but you'd think, at least one of them... but then you'd have to ask Marko, he was there too." Stung when it wormed through a shell, nothing through the aperture of everything. So dead did I feel standing up to [[flee->mprowl]] from what did not expose the true [[wormwood->mwormwood]] pulsation, hollow whole hidden in the order of an always dragging day synonymous with this bundled crushed veinvenom spasming the temples to rise anguished to the empty green black. [[Volya->mashamed]] knew, I knew he knew, he knew I knew I knew, enough to make me rise at the name, but still within my carcass the same constant beating, let me feel Marko again, not this [[time->mdays]] on my hands...

Squeeze yourself decorum, [[prise->mhate2]] from [[murk->mmurk]] the aesthetic to shroud. Swallow, permeate, incorporate. Salubrious non. Yeserase your [[ways->mjourney]] wise assimilucrum. Peaceful harmony!

Lengthened seenthroughs to remain in blinks, repose in nerves twitchready. Indecisive visibilities swell, looped seenthroughs ensorcell. I cannot actually go anywhere, I carry with me place, imprisoner. Each new also merely also and so rebounds the [[unaddendable->munaddendable]]. Traveling to witness hundreds of variations on your inability to [[unsame->munsame]]. Think but in the terms [[inscribed->minscribed]] in this permanence tenancy. Cowering in the vault that in blankness of lightless reclaims me. How many steps must we make before we admit where we befall?

Puddles of purl possibles plopped between blinks, swallowed each of us indistinct, muddlekin jigsaw puzzle. Dew danced on [[blades->mhate2]], our reflections quivery captured to pop, gap where were we seen: semiotic of sheen, copula pulse. Oozes of traces jittered our [[journey->mjourney]] halted to adjudge the flitter foaming [[distinctures->mprowl]] to a [[teafog->mmurk]]. Relented to sighs like sleep. Gooey bones; reclines.

Finality burrows into your torsions fallowed. All these lines that don’t add up. The stories of those nearest us, when ceased, perpetually simmer the same unresolve as strapped you unasleep the night before cauterized. "What haunted me most of Tasyumi was we were at an ebb when she went," Kaiya to embers. "Natural between friends yeah, we’ve the same and we’ve been friends since infancy, but every ebb between friends feels an in between, a breath vespertine, waiting behind the stage for the next cue to ensuing, but then she just slipped, and I’ve been trapped in that taut since, tightens in my chest this urgent certainty that the time is now, find Tasyumi to begin your next phase, but there is no phase, I have no now, but my body, Emnin, it still feels it, feels her, calls out to her at midnight, and I don’t know how to smother myself dulled serene to her unanswering. Perpetual torment of a tingling unable to touch. My voice sings no more the registers it echoed within her, gravelly planed between glass seeing and suffocating, choking on words forever unaddressable, forever clumped in my throat, scabbing silent."

Moonlight pauldron, headdress palladium, she transits mercurial retrogrades: moue like a scowl, grin like trickle threatening to stop. In my mother's palm rests a tome. Every upwards of her glance scrapes my scalp yanked to faerie there wish, wilt. She does not demure, assiduates harsh to perfect, her tone pitch, bubbling and burning I douse in its blackness purity, [[coverdure->mstart12]] this vault of your echoes, eminence arroyo, dress me your... "Defiant spoke the sunwaith, synthesis reversion overwriting the disconnect, inlineant stoked the sunwraith the pressdicate mons..." Roll rhythmic grooves the guilt, reside in the road, transitory stillness told in jots like a lance through the heart. Supplanted in her pelerine resorption to jewel the touch there, untouched by here, sinuous cadence silk.

Palms seem to yes seem to yes, I want to believe they burn together, no, is only the one palm seething, breathing... "I used to despair exams, being forced to account of a period some substantive layering, but I learned to find being found wanting joyous, because yes, this should have been so much more, I could have been, but I am not, amness continuous led solely to here, and here I bide, open to where the ghosts call, and they call, they call, I am always just over there to be found, pierce through turbid nightreads to seek it, elusive [[solace->mstart12]] of self, where I might be found written, never then need again to seek the words, dissolve to beautiful silence." Nyneme.

"Do you ever reach a point where your collapsing spurns a revulsion too fiercely animated to [[maintain->mashamed]] the spiral?" Nyneme teased in and out of my ears like chrysanthemum buds in a breeze. "Flushed cheeks from so much please gods no whimpered from a pout too childish to believe somehow meaningful, weeping without sanctifying cause, just gross, someone could see me and laugh, and they'd be right, they'd be right, but so what, ridicule me then, throw me in your judgment furnace and witness me melt, you platinum perfects, enjoy my [[ash->mhate2]]. Sometimes you want to let go of your dignity and accept the obvious. Sloughed total, how I yearn for your partiality. I peel before their pale austere. Nothing of me am I willing to defend, except for my [[commonality->mhull]]. Judgment's savory irony: we are all deeply worthless. Humanity emerges from horror at the space we are condemned to fill to nevertheless fill it. We are neither valuable nor good but only this as it is as we make it. There is something meaningful in my whatever, not because I have any meaning, but because there might have otherwise been silence, and instead, is there this..."

Everything decays until you can't get out. Stuck in a bubble breathing endlessly staler air. Rusty blood in an engine dying as the ageless eclipses. This could I take, would I believe as naively as once did I birth but for the gems studded in the wasting, lush wreckgleam rubies like dreams' smoldering bones arrayed in a cage. Dress me in a pink future! Help this stop. This gray today. Listen to waves crash against our skin some psalm beyond the bellowing non, spark touch flames cardinal shades which dances us some sense symphony, and if this sin becomes my all let me first feel an almost touch, grave certainties in a glimmer, because I whisper it only now in my [[ashamed->mashamed]] afternow, I hoped the sunset vanillas would wash us one, and no one would I be but one I loved. Leaves rolled like the sea over me shimmering diamonds of this side of the mirror to unpress reality's congeal and unveil immediate at hand thoughtlurker daemons hounding me as I wandered oaktressed ways in weary capitulation to futures parasite fastening onto my wavering these steps in a surpassing of agency into which I relented so as to stop the noise of wait, wait, choice from bounding over the springshine warbles, was it a lure the concept of going to be, is any depth anything like its surface, to rupture the spaciality promise with which my willingness to be had to enoval me so as not to let the stabilization slacken these sails, becalmed the dead ship and its lesser cargo as buoys bobbing chase spears of past and potential whizzed off in directions shrunken by step residue accumulating an akin to choice I feared I would have to make from this position and hence the haste and its wilds, this bouncing and bouncing off forcefields veiling the delayed charge of identity limitation in every direction to which I can pretend I point, nexal in the hail zeropoint split of the sentenced enacted whose carnage spilled in our tensed to each other's inaccurates, resins gooey from which we warweary wander, pitched battle of the figurines jet and jade solidified to past diminuatives, a shell capacity of me panoramically completed even in the second's hang. Guilt remained a torpid blot in the cruel stasis I myself construed from being a person a law could charge, but its bluish green raindrop goosebumps hardened into drills which bored and bled iconoclysm of the weaknesses that compose us idiolects in whose nonsensed could I decide and sever for so ready was I to be born anew to clarity that compels not me but whoever I identify in the judging of me, to awaken in my own not this name absolutely destroyed and differentiated, successfully differentiated, longing how so deeply this difference already built into my wreckage, but so as so I must reconstitute in the act of living an immolating [[hate->mhate2]] thirsting to rip apart and rebuild I resent and idolize the purehearted chaos that Jaufr had embodied in whosoever truth as ones above with regal gazes gauge, wherein may be the kind of penance I will never nor do I seek to earn, darting unstable through brackish grumousity moonlit by sickles fled without a priesthood to intercede these mires without kind in whose depths, in these accumulated soaked filthy seeking to reach into insensate heaven and wring out prophesy, demonym an annunciation, voice of not this mouth someone else's truth, but adrift without the gods I griphold some beach to hold me firm in glaucous churning, but in the seeking erasure's insignia singed, my skin branded to remind everyone I was owned partially by the past unalignable with any new ethos grimace chuckling its privilege, tendrils in a gordian chokehold, you cannot escape what you have already deserve, you will be in these failures finally addressed: yawning graves await their predestined names. This is me, here will be my where. All I want is a god to damn me, what I fear is the void's absolve. Jaufr, Imeni, Kaiya, whoever it is I fall short of, make me fall short of you, rip out of my corpse whatever entrails prove useful to the moonlit revels of beyond a past, let my taste die nameless on your lips in a shriek. Is it truly so wrong to fade out in a greater vehicle fueled by your soul? Cast out your want to worship if ever your admiration of pure beings be pure within you, grow into the need and nothing more, let the more be more, if I can just, can, if I…

Into a clearing, or so they insist it must be named, I stumbled. Vasya was talking. How I wish he wasn't when I don't want what he said to exist. I let a lot of things said be said, I accept it, I am [[awful->mawful]] to the extent that I let the awful echo through me, but some things I am too weak to brook, maybe it's only the pain your heart pockets you can't suffer. Let this indict me, my selective silence. In a world of hate loneness tears siphon. Unsure unstrong enough to narrative, rip every fragment from my soul, leave bare blood, nothing more. What word is a shriek is the best of this soul. Yet I guilt of these steps towards... "Have they given you a plaque yet?" The thief, laconic. "Surely a man of your quality has a statue in the square." "They've proposed it, but you know the Myemi, couldn't stack a brick on a brick for squabbling. The house should look like this, no, no, you want it facing that direction, don't you, beisza, right to your shop..." "Wasn't your father in the Myemi?" I was surprised to hear my own voice, more surprised by the evenness of its tone. "Firsthand experience," he waved, "or is that more what secondhand means? I'm not sure. I love the accusation though, hypocrisy, as if that discounts what I'm saying, when hypocrisy only highlights the purpose of what we say. Only take advice from someone who doesn't take their own, otherwise you're just sucking down someone else's lethe." "So you're Myemi, then?" The thief. "I knew a wrong with you." "A son only is whatever his father wasn't. Take Leiru for example. His dad was a mechanic, but this kid couldn't tie a knot with seventy extra hands. It's why we made him our rigging foreman, we hated everyone up there and wanted them all to die. Like Kaiya, for example. Wasn't a single soul in Ayeri's wasn't chilled by that yego, especially my –" "Leave Kaiya out!" "Ooh, touched a nerve. That's delicious, now we're getting somewhere. Gods I wish you could suck a drink straight from the earth, but I guess that would make life's satire too straightforward. As it is, I don't have the drive to tingle your anger to completion. Although perhaps that's for the best, wouldn't want to get the full Marko." "Why are you, won't you shut up?" "Eesh, relax, mate. You're acting like I'm being offensive. Get some skin, that's the only thing I admired about your late husband. I'm surprised he didn't bequeath it to you on his passing. Did a mistress get it?" "I think he gave it all to the beggars," Volya stumbled in. Electric. What was he going to say? What other purpose could there be? "Good," deadpan to hide my nerves, "if the thief cuts our throats, the Iskeru line'll end." "Don't know about that," Volya sat uncomfortably close to me, then pulled me down to sit. "I must have a son or six somewhere in Ayeri's." "I, on the other hand, am completely sterile," Vasya. "Aye Volya, we were just [[bonding->mbonding]] to bosom pals over Kaiya. Any illuminations, leya? Leiru was enjoying hearing." "Ah, Kaiya," Volya lifted his head smiling. "Those were the [[days->mdays]]. Did Kaiya ever mention me to you, Leiru?" Bristling the word a thorn: "No."

Out of myself I am, and there to collide, bend, [[replasticity->mreplasticity]], her in holograph, atrium echo mouthpurse in whose slowly unraveling unterse I subsume, percoloom. "Energies which resume us, bless us your fire agonize, grant us bruised profusion, bloodlet us [[enjoin->menjoin]]..." I knelt to where Meluoi already saw me. Taste of her expected molasses sticky sweet. Nigh [[bowed->mbowed]], or simply studying the grass, strangeness greenness gentling the border to teases. Infusal syrups the veins. Connection to... "Risen unto convocation, where do we disembark, how do we from the day sever, where may we [[sphere->msphere]] the fray? Can you hear the cold revoice our radiated, how too shall you exude, Emnino, encapsuled to which wave this unwavering?"

"Eah Kaiya, let me tell you, did her a nod, never to any good. She’d the roof that collapsed, and you know obviously she was in the state, like how if she had been there yeah but and so she’d only popped out for a sip reluctant for Mariena pleading her, you know the usual about how fragile life is, what a shudder all this chance is, you’ve the vibe. "So I wanted to cheer her, I was in the mood to, we’d an animosity but I wanted to show it was worthless to me, her good could I whim. Got to cogitating right so how to help, and given Kobyu held to me a favor I thought well somehow I can scratch up some concept to wow, and if you’re in the rare mode to generose you may as well wow, practical, gives you overhead for months on your reputation. "Well we whisked up the brainstorm, drunk ourselves to brilliance, and I says to Kobyu, what if we, cause I knew she and Mariena liked to run the roofs, what if we replaced the ceiling with like a retractable ehh, but secure, obvious you don’t want randoms crawling in, so Kobyu drew up this job where you had a clicker like a key and slotted it in to slide it, well and I mean genius, we pitched up when she disembarked so as a surprise we could dazzle up the mess, we stayed there two weeks rigging up the go, great craic lah. "Then when we get word of she’s returned, we eager up there, gauge the response, and instead she frustrates we bothered the place about as we build it, mud on her rug and that. Well but we get grumbled out a thanks, so we deflate, but good enough to drink it down and brag about town, as after six or so amplifies she’ll have loved it, and we can choose to remember that for the years. "Except so’s we get to hear the clicker splutters like a plaguer, annoys the whole buildabout. We shrug, proof then she uses it, but then we get to hear one of the tenants goes moonmad and bashes up the place, her included, so she disappears for weeks up in the whereabouts on a despair, next we see her she won’t even speak to us leh, suddenly we're verboten. "The pull of it is I'm glad of it, really embittered me, cherish since [[truths->mphilosophies]] taste bitter. By trying to bless her, we just cursed her with how any of us cannot fit into her world, and now everything was just worse again for us having also been. Isn't this the nature of gifts, we just increase the awful for having added ourselves in, isn't that why there's this awkward ritual of thanking, like someone hands you something so you force a smile like oh yes sure cheers, because we need this charade to quell the anxiety that our gift has no power to give them anything; that the gift is given for our own pleasure of giving, needing gratitude a drug; that we both shiver scared beneath desire which we cannot contain ever in any object, the moment you hand them what they've been obsessing over for months you both creep with certainty of fade; that we give out of the holes of our own desires, voyeurs peeping for hints of an exuberance grayed to us; that we give mostly out of obligation, same way you visit the dying, so that neither of us in the exchange relax to human, we're in our parlor best muttering prewrittens; that every blessing you dream turns out wrong because you are wrong and infect everything you touch, nothing turns out like you imagine, suddenly you're in freezing hypersharp reality and collapses around you fey cavalcades until nude and wrinkled and obscene; that no gift is ever enough until it is too much and we see their disgust seethe up to greet us; that nobody wants you except your exploitables, [[predator->mtorture]] indignity at your gift as if their prowess need not [[prowl->mprowl]]; that you are dying each day and all that you give away returns in the cold; that complex equilibria imprison us, and any push results invariably in parry, so gauge it in their crushed, your gift; that isn't it all just easier to reduce, isn't the truest gift of all less of us? The only energy to expend in love is [[keeping->mstory2]], let all else flow from your heartspasms."

"Shame ah, such a good story, had a real strong moral to it. Oh man, you'll love this, this is great. Okay so back then, if you can believe it, right, I was a total romantic, you remember don't you, still a layabout of course, one must uphold the family name, but I was enamorous, burned with love's energy, I'm serious, I was breathless, gentle though, that's the key, the big problem we have among the great growling spank of dudes is the lust lymphed in their every bulge and grunter, dizzy spinners splashing their love on anything animate enough to alert their ability to sense motion, ought to all be slaughtered, for civic reasons of course, you know my motivation is always the social good in everything I do, as you see there's like a certain innate capacity for violence we have to sate, a minimum of death necessary to support humanity, and we could just pen up the horny nobodies in some thirst trap torture hell, dank stable where the humpers cower as chaincoughs rattle their nonsentience while the bloodlusters get glut on their own love. Sounds harsh to you maybe, but frankly I think nights at the pub would be so much safer and more pleasant if you had to justify every creak and dribble of your genitals to roaming gangs of antisex massacrers. But like that's one kind of thing, right? And it exists. What I'm trying to talk about though, what I was into, was this kind of, truly loving somebody, that's the challenge, living someone with so tight a bend, that's the wine lah, living two lives at once, then when you sever there's no bitter stop death, a gift image lingers on the heart until you truly face your own mortality. Sometimes we break to acrimonious images, but aren't those the most valuable, isn't each wound a battle in which you found a way to keep your being resilient to the greater capitulation? Whatever you leave of yourself, that's still what's behind you, what the other may incorporate of another touch. Holding someone who you know, that's, that you deeply love, you are opened entirely into them and they the same, that's our tactile truth. Loving a person, little Leiru, it's so much more than sex. You know it's funny, idealists aye only who worry of sex, whereas adults like I, we enjoy the beyond. You can't know someone if you lose touch with who they are, which is why I quite selflessly made it my mission to touch as many people as possible. Eilmye, I guarantee you there's at least a quarter of me that's Eilmye, and I'm fuller for it. Don't you see, we're all absorbed into each other to birth our mixtures? If anything, it's actual physical birth that's the metaphor. Nature put it there to remind us. Kelnu, like half my sense of humor is his; Terika, I have her eyes, don't I; and if you go all the way down you'll find nothing of the solely I, even I started out as both my parents, then gargled whatever of my brother was worth taking and left the rest, and I kept going, all my life I kept pushing, deeply penetrating to our human congress, the quest became my life, or rather it pushed my life back out at me and I'd no choice but to live it any more than the first. Part of it was I was so good at it, you should have seen me talk up, I could dance you to whatever paradise we needed, I loved giving people the energy they never had to get to where they had long since given up, becoming what they need becomes what you need. People coming together to find someone positive in themselves and next to them with a hot breath beating down your neck... people can be scared, narrow, they have all these walls they slap up to hide their hates and shames, and that's what I want most out of a person, what they feel they have to conceal, that's the honest treasures that make us real amidst the smothering anguish. You have to go deep into their wound and say, no, hold on, let me nurse you back to health using medicinal toxins handmilked from my spider farm, let's be awful and terrified together, let's quiver the last kicks of our poison in a gravesnuggle, I want to froth our kiss across seizures. Do you know what I mean? You'll enjoy this story too, thief." "I got a name." "Sure. But the point was, it wasn't selfish, I went far out of my way to appreciate people on a deeper level, even the harder ones to appreciate, sometimes especially them, pursue unity's victory over the countless repressions we curse our lonely graspings with, bliss is pressing on into misery's overcrowded center and quenching from the fountain. Getting set deep in other people, aye you'll get hurt, there'll be struggles, you'll bleed a lot, but there's nothing in this life that made me happier than lying back with another exhausted person and sighing away all our inhibitions into a united vulnerability. Sex is something you have to pass through, a way of beating ourselves into an exhaustion where our true personalities reside, so's to blitzing hey, not for the taste but for who you can simply let be when the drink's battered your withholds, joy only begins after the last carnal drop drains, you're left animal honest. You've got to get messy, and you've got to be willing to, for however long is necessary, not clean up; never wipe another person off you, that's when the emptiness strikes, the long after in which nothing is filled. Let stains speak the markings of your fathoms. Spill into their sea and stay submerged until you finally shore up on them. "All this gets to me Kaiya yeah. Kaiya: there was a woman that inspired. She was the only I met who I'd go so far as to call mystical. I've seen lots of dreamy, however the hell you want to take that, and I went for awhile with Lelei, who I can only really describe to those who haven't gone through her as imaginary. But there was something more to her, to Kaiya, sublime even, better than all of us, and I had to approach, I just had to, spellbound. We both joined a voyage to Tekoszisz's, and we got to talking, found joys in the [[philosophies->mphilosophies]] sung only on her tongue, ahaha listen to me, what words are these, who's to say I've sobered yet! She was like that though, she got you speaking how you didn't know you could, and each night I fell asleep overthinking about who was I becoming, what were we becoming. For a week were we like this, some chunk of measurable time, there were sunrises and dusks sure enough, in their fever glows enshrined a destiny, so I believed. Not so. Just when I was loosing myself into this new texture, she told me she, and I mean this, she said this, she said I prefer the quiet to you. And you know what? That was the most beautifully true thing I had ever heard. What I had loved about her was her dignity, and there, as if her hate was the most pure love, she whispered the secret of her dignity, the preference for silence, my failure to be before her music. It crushed me, of course, annihilated me for months, and I'm so thankful for that, I really am, because she taught me a valuable lesson that night, those weeks a sot, because I came through that darkness with a torch, an epiphany, consider myself lucky to have learned it young, before I'd died too much on people. Her judgment, my suffering; her authority, my subjugation, that's all it is, trading. She was a god for me to be a sinner for, though we were both just people, her and me, and all my love was only the fuel to make her hate sting, and you know what? All those years I had done the same. I had done the same thing with the same fuel, that's what I realized. Meeting Kaiya was exactly like meeting myself, she was a demon of my own brood, that's why I loved her so much: narcissism. Every good epiphany should start with some selfhate, and I got it from her, realized that all my loving had just been the kinder version of reading someone like a one, because a great secret no one will tell you is that love exists so we can bruise souls new hues. She wasn't above me to judge me except that I had put her there, because what I couldn't contend, what would destroy me, was equality, was loving someone who had no right to judge me. I had to believe she harbored something within her, some mystic else, which would sate the hole in me where she echoed. We impose so much on our beloved, but the same inert flesh is shared between us, and they break, they crack, and our hopes, our dreams, they go roaring down the rifts. You love someone when their being somehow imbues you with whatever you couldn't reach out and claim, love a foreign body to make you a native to their bounty, isn't that even what we call it, desire, to de sire, appear the demos of re, again a people, am I making any sense hor, am I pushing it too far maybe? Well throw it away but keep the insight. Except what I mean is it's a deeper desire, it's not just wanting something, it's needing to be emptied out in a specific way. We're forced to love to avoid the self we'd have to acknowledge if we were alone. You pile on them all your needs, neuroses, flaws, fears and all, and you say, alright, pull me along, drag what worst parts I won't even touch, however much it hurts you, especially if it breaks you, let this yoke convoke your verb to this lead, whatever teasing I gild it with, keep those diamonds in your mouth so the sentence severes me sublime. To puncture to the heart of someone, you've got to be enveloped by them, and they you, both of you enslave each other in the desperate hope the whips will lead you to happiness, it's evil, horrendous what we do to each other ah, but we don't stop it, we go grinning on into our wrath abyss, wideeyed children hanging from hooks in the slaughterhouse as the butcher romance encroaches, apron browned with caked viscera, yet we dream our uniqueness, incite our loves to beguile their clarity as we ourselves have been deceived, glittering illusory systems stripping us to raw equality, and there you are, the agent of that annul: we eat our beloved as the butcher [[knife->mstory2]] strikes us surprised. We fatten them with hopes, dreams, ideas, then feast. What I am to another is pain, Leiru. I charm, I smile, I tease them off the gangway with a rose, but when they fall, we will not drown together, just simultaneously. That's what Kaiya did to me, and I thank her for looking me in the eyes while she tore me apart, for not dancing in the voidmasque I invited her to. Honesty: that's the one virtue to which we can actually aspire, because honesty involves being yourself, every other virtue requires suppression. We pretend good, but in honesty we admit. There's no use being idealistic about such a repulsive institution as selfish love. We slake our thirsts on each other's throats. I need you: I, the actor, require from you, the object reservoir, a quintessence missing in my joy. In the best possible result you trade enough and take little enough that the imbalance you create doesn't ring high enough to strip them hollow, but that imbalance exists, ultimately a relationship is about stealing elements stored in our identities. All those I named, notice how what was imparted to me was them, they are me, I have taken their secrets and implanted it under my skin to grow their skin over it. How can such monsters deserve ideals? We enjoy it too, that's the worst part. Quarries we rob in the night to satiate our own irreconcilable bereavements. What, should I sit there giving away myself when I get nothing in return? The wideeyed lovers will demand you don't, the murderous little devils, as if your beloved's a well, as if it's not a real person with needs of their own that do not heal, that cannot be filled, someone with burdens that can be shared but never left behind. Because who will argue that what you should really do is stay with them when it hollows you out inside? Love strips us naked, we go so far into each other, but we can never press close enough to absorb the air between us. The ones who stick together are just the ones too drained by each other to try again; the real lovers eat until their tongue furs with familiar blood, then rove for someone more, and when we do, we become Kaiya, we become mes, in my maliciousness I am now my own treasure hidden. Torturing someone, that's the only time it really matters that it's from you, and that's what horrifies us so much about torture, the idea that they want me specifically and will never leave even when I have nothing left to offer. We're repulsed by the concept. Love, love is safe, because they will only ever use me, and use implies cessation and reciprocation, but torture, they want me, me, nothing else, never the control solidifies. [[Torture->mtorture]] is the truest agape. Those that don't know this are the ones causing actual moral harm. You should be afraid of them, of everyone. You should never trust anyone, because no one will ever have to be you but you. Human beings are a masked demon race whose great curse, the hilarious irony of our species, is that we believe our own masks. We take ourselves for saints after we anoint ourselves in ashes, and a demon infatuated with saints is unpredictable, have no control over the havoc they wreak in their hideous love, and that's the sweet danger of it all: we murder, we massacre, but never once do we read what the bodies tell us. Are we illiterate or willfully evil, and when shall we learn that we're both? We are our own sins. We are the phantoms of our own [[recognition->mbrutal]]. There is nobody who is who is. Nobody is. In the gap, our gore. Let those who want more than their precious misery drown in the filth of their violence. We are like the gods only in this: misery is the begotten of our kiss."

"Kenkh, dribble of a mood before, but now it's super dead ahh." Vasya. "I think you're confusing your brain for the mood." Volya. "Checks by me," Vasya rose with a yawn. "I'm gonna get Tyese to shake me up. He's stashed like three bottles in his bag." "Take the thief with you then. I don't want to watch him." Vasya sighed. "Hey buddy, here, here, this way, follow me, yup, this way, good thief..." "So," Volya rolled his shoulders, "what do you think, Leiru? Kaiya still your goddess, or have I ruined it? Or was that Imeni? Or is any woman who doesn't laugh at you your goddess?" "Your cruelty doesn't bother me." "Does it not? That's where we're different, because yours does me. You've done a great wrong to me, to my dearest friend Marko." "Marko attacked me, I defended myself, ask leya, he was there, he helped me do it." "Oh, Vasya told me all the fun details, don't you worry. Quite the scandal, wasn't it? Found you lounging about the touchers, was it? My. What would have Jaufrei thought, or Imeni eh? Starved her because you couldn't spring up out of your petty depressives, but then you go gallivanting off for some rough goes? Repulsive. It's always those obsessed with purity that have none. If I just casually mentioned that to her, you think it would make her hate you more, or has she hit the limit on that? Vasya, I get. He's trash and has no more to him, and he's never pretended anything else, so I respect that. I wish I could be like him, slather over things like a cur. His world is the happy one; I'm stuck with all the angst that being a demon engraves in your skull. You, however? You were the Jaufrei versus Nejani crowd, a bunch of selfrighteous psuedothinkers dongdueling over who had really figured the world out, and you know what I hate? People who are right, people who figure things out, people who argue and argue, and then someone has the gall to win. Nejani's end to me was so delicious. Do you remember how it went? You were there, right? I do so love hearing the [[story->mstory2]]."

"You're familiar, or a familiar, aren't you, suckler of the emptiness of destruction, wight of Jaufrei and Nejani? Can you not here their testimony?" "They fought over philosophy, and one of them died. That's all." "Excellent!" Volya clapped. "I could not have put it better myself. You're quite the storyteller, Leiru. They fought over philosophy, and one of them died. Exquisite! So true! You are a prodigy, I had no idea such wit lived inside you. Because, you see, that is all, as you so rightly put it. They lived their game, their game settled, then they found themselves stranded in what their talk of living really was. How wonderful that not even you, sole witness, are willing to carry their manipulations post victorious ablution. They stared at the squalor they were told was a theme and saw only an ego worth leaving behind, but not even their most deeply sullied is stained with more than their erasure, how heartbreaking, oh truly such a tragedy to weep, don't you see that they hadn't died until this very moment, don't you realize your sentence just killed Jaufr, you murderer? You repaid them in full, oh gods it's so beautiful, I might, I could cry. Two children pretending their tantrums were a way to cope, ahkshev evaporated entirely into their element, concealment of the exquisite nectar too subtle to taste upon their palettes. Pointless thoughts in a selfperpetuating killing chain, yes, Nejani had to die because he crossed the final boundary, he killed the idea, so he deserved to die to Jaufrei, who upon the same threshold deserved to die to Leiska, who soon will deserve to die, just as you do, Leiru, you were next when Marko met you, caught in a moment of maximum hypocrisy, killing the idea, watching slavegirls after having drained Imeni away in years of bloodless chasteness, and Marko, moral, naive Marko, who, even as he criticized you, believed in you, hoped that maybe one day he would learn to worship just as you had, he woke up to the closet door opening wider to unveil its sterilizing nonmagic, ah, you deserved to die to him, Leiru, justice for him to end you there, but you subverted it, destroyed yet another life, stuttered the chain, you are simply too gruesome for the functions that calculate you. Killer by nature, shying in with demure smiles, deluding people that you are too small a nobody to be of any dagger, but in the night as they sleep in their false security your wormbody snaps erect and wriggles atop their throats to gnaw and whimper through the pulp. You want to know the truth, Leiru? I'm terrified of you, brewed of the most potent evil ruining this putrid world, you're the ingrate crying because the pleasures we crackle by our fires do not fill the rooms, crying that we don't live in the best of all possible worlds but live merely in the world we got, until finally your crying will wake up something best left asleep… Now I'm not gonna venture the pretend I care, not least so in some arbitrary absolute sense. Even as I recognize what you are, means nothing to me. I'm not even going to say if you're wrong, hell maybe the world could be better, maybe we should be more, well, whatever it is. That's not what bothers me, I don't have to kill you because you're wrong. What you have done however, what I can never forgive you for, is destroying one of the few places in this world I invested my love in. I will not yield my happiness, not to you, not to anyone. Marko was such a great friend to me, and he was such a good person too, he was probably more worthy of life than either of us, but you have taken that away from both him and me, you have invited your plague into one of the few fonts I needed, and that infuriates me, it breaks my heart to not only live without Marko but also to have him not live, and I'll have my revenge, I will promise you that. I hate you, Leiru. I will break you as you have broken the world around me. I will carry on the line you stuttered, I will make sure it ends as it should." He pulled closer. "You can't stop me." "Yeska, you won't –" "Kill you?" He laughed. "Oh no. No, no, no, not quite. Philosophers kill: all they care about is ideas. No, humans play. Each reflex of your flesh must be savored, every touch must be divined on my tongue lah, gonna drink you slowly, Leiru, enjoy each succulent cry, each begged plea for finality. I'm going to bring you so much suffering that you'll forget there was ever joy. Remember that phrase when I'm flaking off your fingernails, when I leave you half submerged in the sewers for weeks, months, and only maybe after a decade of that, a dozen years, a thousand, I'll have sucked enough draught from your torment to forgive you for what you've done and finally let you die. Because I will, one day, let you die. Every sin has its price, and I'm only after debts. Far be it from me to push you any further than the lifelong grieving I must endure, but until then, until I, I, am satisfied, Leiru, I will show you such immense anguish that all your airy whimpers soft as fleece will shrivel in my fire. I will show you the junction of [[idea->midea]] and [[skin->mskin]]. I will make this world of yours real, I will force your sniveling to be honest. You have thought yourself so, and I will make you prove it. Do you hear me, Leiru? I will make you kneel to your begging. I want you, you, and so I come torturer."

Can you believe [[losing->mjourney]] the moment? Abstract death to corners it cannot hurt you from and you will admit death is a friend. [[Depressed->mstart13]] beneath mountains we all pine for it, but at the drop into the endless who will not pause to shout: now? Sudden [[ambient->mambient]] quiet. The feel of a wind so long ignored. The gentle rush of seconds after seconds, who could forsake that in a sudden turn, a word, a pass into less than [[vapor->madmix]], not ice, not stillness, not. Marko and I in the calm horror above the other's body. Why we wrestle, why we war, kill, splatter other blood, this jolt enlivening as the world fades, begged plea of no not me, them, them, anyone...

"To encompass the decay accorded, distributive [[nexal->mnexal]] interset, do we persist in the peri? Wreathed in energies, shall identities glitterwing the worship faerie? To what does it amount us the sublime we engineer of our collectivized crusheds? Shall ends amend us mended, or do we spiral into creativities which overcolor, and shouldn't we in devotion wish so? Belonging before gods enspheres us sepulcher sealed, so we must hope, carved angelic against the stillness."

"You render me an awe I do not request, cannot deserve, and endurate priestess to the ceremony. Theme it where you must adjudge, I who submit this connect to you, seeker of your sacrifice. In the tale we weave, our figurines pose victorious of these submissions, recorded. I daybreak upon the prayer, burden into this wherewithal you revolt, shall we share the sere shadow dancing, Emnino of the molten no more, shall we snap spines submit to creation amore, [[recombination->mnexal]] flux, is no howl pierces the hymn, rise rage with me ruby ultraviolence pristine, permanence unborne?"

"Please, Jaufrei, just listen," Nejani. "You think you know so much, so's why your ignorance violates the [[sacred->msacred]] in knowledge, you summon angels sans humility to ensure you're not drawing something else up. You ruin the delicate truths you half see. This woman who enthralls you, I wish it was, but it's not, it's whatever unchainable perfection drams your spirits, what only enthralls you with perfection is yourself and your thinking, but so were you even interested in her as a, and we'll say this in the most generous possible implication, a truly beautiful person, then you'd still be in the wrong, since to touch is to fracture this made to a thing into half crescent reflections dim with outerworld glassiness, pull apart the statue to find the fragments of its allure, discover your coarseness in what necessitates its power from your exclusion, beautiful beyond your horror in any airy alteration reinjected in your [[cavernous->mcavernous2]] cannot emerge, moonpiercer blunted by smudge clouds horns in whose shrink shadowy the nights featureless to cold blanks. Rampaging after rude lust idols crudely imitating an uncapturable god who if he wanted to be seen, would he not have looked like you? I did not lie to her. I told her the truth like only one who knows you could." "You told her lies!" "Nothing is a lie, Jaufrei, but what your truth cannot abide. You, and here's your fundamental flaw: every thought you have is incorporated. You've slabbed yourself a shed, sure, in your strain is a strain worth its viral, but you ruin insights to in sight, can't interact with the world, isn't so you've eaten Leiru, very same you're to Mariena, but I won't sit by, thought you'd be proud of me for it hey, something akin to your principles, but whenever I seem almost you is when you hate me most, there's comedy there somewhere, we shall find it when the shivers and [[anger->manger]] and tears subside."

"Why's there this vicious, human drive to see an essence and rip it raw, degrade it to our own [[comprehension->midea]]?" Nejani. "What failure in the mortal project screams to deconstruct and possess outsides, to claim territory? You're animal, Jaufrei, we all are, as we see beauty and must devour it. You are the jaw that sunders the spiritual from the human. What glitters before us must be owned or debased or its remoteness shall snarl our claws to tear it. The sentient worships, the insensate tastes. Chasing after her, what do you resemble ah? Beauty clarifies the calcified intentions, perfection haunts the flawed shamblers with gyrenous eminence dizzy abluting our [[dust->mmurk]], dreamers of the wakes of other drowns. Is it a surprise our body ages when we ourselves are motes of decay? From nature we rise, surge, collapse, but failed sea mimics we subsume into nothing. When you stumble upon an oasis what right have you to drink it, desiccate to refresh sunslave of sweating desires? Is it not proper to sleep in the placidity then pass on to whatever destiny erupts you? Should ashame ah your weakness to so drink. Pollute none heaven with pleasures, resign to the moment unattainability as it solar wreathes our world or maroon upon your plying, pining, sulfur spits mucking surfaces." "That's none of what's this about ehh, you've ruined it, you should be ashamed of, of, geskecz, how could you do? Why would you, could you not see us happy, are you that petty, I, and to speak of her happiness, if you bandy that on your tongue again I shall cut it!" "There it is, the [[violence->moutcome]] so implicit." "This is all violence, we are bathed in violence, I scream soaked. Tears slice my cheeks, to your satisfaction then? Is this what you wanted? If I fall to my knees and weep, will you, you beisza, you creep, you, you –" "Again, you, you, all you care about is your own wants, your own –" "My wants! You would know of what is wanting within us. This is what you don't get, that between our imperfections are people and a joy. Perhaps somewhere is your society in prostrate acceptance of a dais reign, but let it be nowhere near, let it not touch a world where people have to live, where other than rust pumps through veins. What if all around us is so much beauty that you can't be afar from all of it, that you have to choose which beauty you harbor in? Does it resemble the possibility of happiness, maybe, of our ability to build from good material? Could it be that two coming together isn't a bad thing? The gall of it! What if she will love me even when I am not there, what if no ocean is wide enough, no hate resilient enough, no person divisive enough that they will sever the one precious bond we share, the connection that breaks my soul in half to have it so halved as solely this body sunders? Mariena and I are more than we in both directions, and that's what I believe in, have you ever paused to think of what of me makes her more than her? No, you grabble your own faults in anyone better than your filth, but the world stops not at your first scoff. We are what we make ourselves, all of us together, a pervasive web of everyone. I love Mariena, and by she has deigned to love me too, and that makes an interpersonal claim that is irrevocable and superlative, a union that rises holy above your dirt philosophies to tangibly transformulate our grasp in experience golemized, from our potential state we have fashioned motion. If my arc across your sky offends you, so be it! At least I have stars to swim in. You may make a poetry of your squalor, but for me let there be a hint of light, let me and my love live before we die. So little is given us we must our purpose seize, malleate the mars to testament, mortal ultimation. If you cannot imagine how desperate we are to feel before our body rips this from us, then you cannot ever understand love, and you cannot ever learn what it means to live. I will my prayers our sky, return to what this [[body->mskin]] robs."

"Everything [[decays->mmurk]], we are all dying, even the Towers crumble, and one day too your love will die, and whoever must be its shambles is what you risk in your mortal ultimation," Nejani. "You have not been racked on age's elongation, your naivety is as galling as pitiable. Your love will crumble, what will you say then, that the ocean shrouds briefly did not cover you, are we to envy you? It is not me imagining everything is however it is when I perceive it, but that I admit that whatever I guess from is itself the end of a long [[road->mjourney]] of possibilities and premises, that each hour is its own equilibrium; as our bodies, so the world: we always return to rest. Your love will flourish, sparkle its brief levitation, but an intense burst wanes to a darkness merely more stark, your sparks must settle in the returning sterile, and because I know both of you I know you're not prepared for that outcome, for the immensity of cruelty you are capable of when you tantrum any negativity, and in the return to the hollow thousands more potent shall this stillness sting, you can chaos an apocalypse from a fade, or maybe you might just react with what you confuse an idea to be, an excuse to ignore the empirical, but her, perhaps you haven't bothered to notice in your overwhelming spiritual zenith but Mariena's desperately using you in her own game, your love is both of your wistful needs crudely plastered over your actual shambles, she's trying to make you the intimacy she's never had: are you prepared to be her dead parents and her strangely distantly overcaring brother and all the friends she never got to make as well as her night terror fantasia she sweatfevers to a lover? Because that's what she's asking, and when you don't overwhelm her with your totalizing guise, when she sees through to the punctuation emptiness, it will be a crisis you cannot solve, will not even choose to try to solve, your illusory selflessness is a controlling selfimmensity discompletion, the true pessimist who equivocates theirs thirsts the world’s, and your teasing nowheres are going to crush her soul in a way all the silences in her life never quite could; best to rather ease her out of it, try to find her a healthier outlet for her desperation hor? That's the difference between us. Mazyu and I, we actually care about her, fear her future, so as friends and family we protect her from her and other destructives, but you see her as an idea, as a conduit to the heavens always singing inside your skull, and you don't care about her future, you care about your now. That's the truth I told her. Both your motives are wrong, but only she actually loves, whereas you merely dream. Had you also mistakenly loved her in your wrong way, I would forgive you, I might have stepped aside to let other people's lives go their painful ways, but because you have gone the revolting too far into your void, because you intend to drag her to the worst places to patch your gaps, I could not call myself a friend were I not to try to help. Don't you see? You'll blindfold yourselves with oh but isn't this such a happy silly hedonist twee purity, don't we deserve this since life is so hard, and then you'll realize your antidote is its own venom and froth in your death writhe. Everything's always a seven with you. You will make this as ruthless as you can imagine it, without once caring how the love in your life might live through this. You are going to live a utopia for the two or three months that utopias are possible, then slaughter a beautiful soul in your [[vampiric->mtorture]] expunction." "No, there's, there's so much, I cannot let you destroy what fills our life simply because the howls fill yours. You could not possibly speak our language. I cannot actually communicate to you what it is like to chase the night's blushes. You speak from so much ignorance I almost pity you until the anger strangles it. Yes, as the moment passes, if it must, if it must, we shall all fade into the seal meridian, but any retina there to receive the wine twilight is espered brilliant with a power which no dusk stalls the repines. I am able to love, able to be loved, and this woman you'd like to doll into a fragility, yes and it is that, you are making her the glass I the action shatter, but she like me will meet our better halves on the opposite rim and slip the sinking earth to our embrace, lace accession... we are able. We can recast your shards into a beauty again, ours. Conviction and the emotions its engine burns accentuate your world desire into concrete [[thrusts->moutcome]], stride of the believer."

"Everything is comedy to your insipids, there's no -" "Because I must find some rejoinder to the -" "But there's more to this existence, we create it together, there's -" "You cannot force the cosmos to stop on some point and shudder forever in your halt entirety, as if you –" "Hate my action of loving if you so desire, but it is my soul smashing against the chance god to demand a here with her, some brief moment we both might believe in selfdefinintion, and that –" "For you, yes, selfdefinition restricting blah blah, but that's your internality, and what you fundamentally do not and cannot ever comprehend is that you are alone and no one else is you. Mariena must face her own concerns alone in her concentric prisms without your shouted salvations solving her –" "You make a virtue out of refusal! You've never erupted out of your desire and been made spectator to your absolute personhood, never loved, never [[hated->mhate2]], yearned, felt the pain of, of, because, because if you had, you would know quite clearly that life is not to be encased in –" "Though you refuse to accept that –" "Because I may as well toss aside my own living –" "Which is not what I'm saying though, I'm saying that you're putting another life on the line of your –" "But in love you share –" Nejani's volcanic sigh. "You're hopeless! There's just, no talking to you. You won't accept anything you didn't think up." "You say that as if you've an open mind, which is the only thing I have ever proved conclusively false, through sheer repetition." "A, well. Alright then. If that's how you stand, then I must stand in your way, Jaufrei, no matter the [[outcome->moutcome]]." "You cannot paint true colors from a cynic brush. Go back to your comfortable sleep where wherever you lie down is a virtue to extol."

Stood and let the fizzy trundle through phosphorescent catalysts. Bitter drink of memory, coldstar infusions mar the fluctuation ghosts, how dam the lived, prolong serene in quell cremations? [[Stings->mstings]] too many, allergic to recall, closing throat pressured by the welling outcry, building batholith until the burst, on the floor clawing for death. Any ebullience is months from [[abashed->mabashed]], every regret viral injects into neurons, spreads to each nerve through each thought. Yes, and so? I drink the dregs of dawn and emerge bloodier array.

Deep in the forest lost. Wavery of soughs transit yet enclose the space diorama. Nowhereness particulate in which my hesitancy isostatic depresses into charge, riveted into the pulmonary inclosuring seperations, can almost not a stranger seam, though rustles these nerves with need shadows, unsettle irritants pistoning the body to [[prowl->mprowl]], twitches aflame ripped from the sufficient to starve rove.

Striding runious through underbrush to feed [[psychic->mpsychic]] on the rush, encountering a thorn jumble giant who me pocks pinned, exert against to gruntcries, collapse to crawling to an oak hollow. No one around. Hesitate, blink, [[regather->mregather]], regain. Must rove the wilds to, thrown thirty feet by the piercer punch, skull cracked leaking to [[admix->madmix]] truths in the fluids of an [[acupunctured->macupunctured]] face, coagulate return, flee into the, run, run, staked through the hand beneath the thorn jumble giant.

Into my mind the voice as if a votive candle flickering alone in oblique blacks. "Your will to live is misaligned with the natural forces which feed you [[dawns->mwormwood]]. Confess before me, weeper of wrongs, your wayward beyond the frame. Can you not enjolt with vir, venerate the arbor altar? Crawl to your [[nursemaid->mashamed]], be blessed."

Splinters riddled me prickly to split, viscous out the vehemence til no more congruent, disjoin, disjoin, disjoin, disjoin, no more inherent itinerant, spreader; no, no, seal yourself, [[regather->mstart13]], compose, corpse [[decay->mmurk]]. Obligations bonewrit is rot like the rest of us.

Melt into your aggressors, sear equal thrust to preserve equalibrial entrustments, meld hatreds, asimulate. Into the differences dediverge your investments lingual to animatosity totalizing so criterion terminus minima envelop you gracile, isn't this what you wish, difference from? Accept your cituated, [[trawler->mstart13]] of suppresseds, fisher of men. Admit your admixed, then bleed out honesties, isn't it almost of the trauma gentle?

Gently stabbed until quiddity pressure releases aquifers, spring supernaculum, salt crystals [[glistenhard->mstart13]] behind. Exust husk I sere serene. Pinned into perfect, delicated of deliquescence. Yes, sew this of self.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XIII''] --- "Would you look at that," Gyadalta awed. Above us on the Staircase a shadow bathed in a light we could not yet reckon. In his wake step by step we trudged, heels hurt, rubblefrost, stair ascension in endless procession endless, throat grime's anemic guzzle, ankles juttering glitch removal, shoulders burdened red with sagged packs, toil [[infinitum->minfinitum]], go. "Yeska," Yakacza. Neck and spine permanently bent, no more bone to lift, corrugated and drainpipe orange in submission too complete to snap. Hand anvils crunch slunk the tendons, arms sinking to touch rest, to mingle headdown prayerwise with an enemy in its ruthless contours so much less harsh, what good to fight what will simply dominate... "Baelu," Vasya coughed. "So's they're there huh." "Never thought to witness," Leiska. Collapsing to my knees so long deferred drank down my hesitates and reveled bonebuckling on my slide to a kneel, head bowed, repentant statue to hang here forever ashamed, but with a burst of crepuscular blush washing cupola eyelids an exhaled surrender rolled back my head to see lonely gray columns stolidly listing to eternity in Myeri's voice like a curved wing cutting this tempest sanguine: "Our prized mystery unsheathes its puzzle, captive continuity so long hidden in dead salt centuries, lives expunged in the unsustain, serpent eyes emeralding vast unknowables..." A pang wiggled my pulse out of tune, a pang of what, unsure. Need not to slide right and tumble down what may or may not... "Time secedes into our obsolarity sleekness... reasons make us pull... can we not go on, is there any step we stead but our destined chosen?" Nyneme. Fatigued burnt neon imprints seared tourniquet designs on large sleight gel columns vassals of an avenging and endless godrain, vertigo, displaced gazes soared from oblong peak to lozenge peak before dizzy [[helixing->mhelixing]] down rubble ramps prickled with cataract windows or their absences. A corrugated hulk combine lay jacketed by junk windsweeps vaulting the terrain to stop its metal mouths the sludgesun yellowly slicks bobbing [[viscous->mviscous2]] in trenches. Slouching imperials quiescent and gnawed threatened noiselessly to totter in each viewer slosh as though life may ruin what lifeless made a ruin. Angular assumptives the reachers in war with the ceiling's spacepause. From sullen bulks sluicing electric disapproval many decades overcome in tangles posing constellations to complex the skyline there seemed a sentence many times said. Thimbley wooden blanks like corks once snug but eaten to slack by putrefaction, the skittering marks of the interlopers besotting what rotted here. In irrevocable unwritten the city echoed hush. "Be up guard," Gyadalta raised his lance. "More things lurk in emptiness than people." //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Lilac echoes petaling the twilight's entrance in his lips curling, longer, solemnity's volt. "Then we clash but do not buckle, as so long I knew we must, yet even after all these years, Jaufrei, I never thought of you as anything but a friend, no matter how bitter we got, it was always out of respect and care, but, as it comes to this... well. I can't just sit idly by as you hurt terminally. I let you [[demolish->mstart13]] Leiru, because what was there to protect, but if you insist on the people I care about, then… I suppose there's no salvation for counterfates." Jaufr drew his blade. "You've become what you've lived despising, the compulsion that quells integrity." "Yes, at this moment I at last become something, something I feared had long since sunken beneath this earth: honesty, humanity's pestilence." A wind from the sea sloshed in spiccato piano piano, death's hand patient. Nejani drew his blade. "Stay out of this, Leiru," Nejani. "This is our vertex; it is inevitable. I've known for a long time, but, I always held out hope, a vain hope, that perhaps, after all, we were not headlong..." "I'd say it's been a pleasure, but I always thought your voice too gravelly. Hard to listen to." "Don't joke," Nejani. "Let the last thing shared between us be absolute sincerity." Jaufr shrugged, then nodded, then nodded. "Then let's say what we've meant." A rush, a struggle. Jaufr yelling: "Emnin, Emnin!" Amber room's trickling flame oozed out the seconds passing. My mother's husk shivered, shrunken flesh contracting in the cold. A pile of books, dusty, lay near, friends gathered to comfort the end. Cloistered in a wound on the wall I watched, she would not extend her hand to me, she would not beckon me near. Clumped within my chest unrealized, sobbing. "I love you, mother," whispered. "Please don't [[go->mjourney]]." Her neck slid her face to falling into view. Not a feature moved, not a muscle contracted: she simply laid, her deadening glass staring at me, through me; vacant semblance smile parting withered lips. Absolute bereavement. Not emptiness, [[more->mtorture]], absolute and gone. Thrown forward, tackling a surprised Nejani I lifted my chin to consider which way was ground and which way gods. Jaufr was up and stabbing. There were screams, noises, [[brutal->mbrutal]] nonsense. Gore inside my iris, cupola folding as the wind slipped back to the sea.

"I’d say isn’t a bit of you worth keeping, but there is," Volya, "a bludgeon creep to gremlin in death where it isn’t expected, I’d latch you to a chain and beat you pliable like a cur, then set you loosened upon a target, see how you slather them unshowerably cursed. Leakage corrosive your core talent, ought to mechanize it somehow, given the givenness of your cruelty a necessary respondence proof lest you suffer the result. Anyone ever told you hey you’d make a great slug? The way they look at you as you’ve devoured their whole patch, not simply hate, but great disappointment lah, this putrid puny greasing up my yard is why I’ll starve this winter. I’d let a shark kill me any day hey, dream of it takes such a noble beast to slay you, wandered into their watery domain and they recognized you enemy, honor for all of us, but just this super wet worm slinking along a withering vine munching and the moldy mealy you were going to gurgle down is like this is how the gods kill you ehh, and that’s the worst of the world is so often it’s awful in ways not worth fighting, but you, Leiru, so worth the kill, and one day I will, because you internalize the pain in a way every slug I’ve smashed does not, you get to share this with me, we’re going to become profoundly [[intimate->mtorture]], what we’ll share will be weeping for Marko as one spasming through your body, each tap on your tied up a press of the piano to dirge, and I’ll relish watching you squirm, see you seething weakly against the binds, inane writhing of humanity ridiculous, knowing deep down I share this, can excise it through your diminished, beat you a drum for what must march hence, your wriggling shrieking the comma between two [[clausalities->mjourney]]. I can’t wait to watch you hurt me real, I can taste it cherry about my gums, slalom to swallow gooey stretching with my tongue rising to paean the evisceration of all humiliates in their bulbous youness. If it enjoins you the mood, we can do it nude, make it [[timeless->mstart13]]. But then, I suppose, Jaufr will get upset, and you’ve already disturbed his deathrest. As much as I loathe him, I’m ready to forget him at the end of this sentence, but you, oh, I’ll never forget what has been made of us."

I yanked away, but he demurred. "Relax mate, let the gasp back to its family why don't you. I'm not going to do it now. There's no time, and I can wait." He stood up. "Besides, we're not alone. Alenu, is it? Over here, we're this way. Alenu's the right word? Careful of the bush." "It's a little, informal," Meluoi brushed through the branches. "You know much of the old language?" "Bits and pieces. My father was in the Myemi, so you pick up stuff. Alenu, Veda." "Mlekh. You were the one who savaged the poem, weren't you?" "[[Poem->mnexal]]?" Volya looked at me. "Is that what this is? Terrific. I'm pleased. Well, I'll leave you to it. Don't want to interrupt something that precious. Sleep tight, Leiru." Volya's footsteps fading, Meluoi remarked: "How odd he can speak some. I wouldn't have thought him capable." A hyperspeed loop never stopping. Constant fastness breathing. Why is my right eyelid so much harder to open than the other? "What is alenu? What's that mean?" "Just a greeting. Like between lovers. It's [[nothing->mnothing]]."

"And where do you believe hope will rip you out of predicament?" Volya. "Is that what you wish? Find sanctity shall you in some exterior? Ayin anywhere else to go ehh, you're stuck in here with me, I'll share this with you, your pliable, bendable, breakable. No further any wheedling into others to save you now, where hey Jaufr, have you drunk him to completion? Never matter, only this, only this how it is, oily and imperfect and so, so fragile, isn't so, Marko? I've kenned you to the very depth of your shallows, sourced out your whines, and there's where I'll greet you in kindling." "Eyeh Volya why this surge o, why not to -" "I'll surge as I wish, relent back into your limpness, is how I'll demand you, remand you wrought! Speak not until shackledragged brought before my gaze to accede guilt. I'll rip out of your fist this promise!" He grabs my hand and throws me, but my palm burns us both, tumbling and whirling the world shrieks Nyneme apparative: "And is it an amountment you raid from my collideless eminence, this sealical disseminata? Shall I playact the lion relaxed? Ataraxia of opulence, pursed lips lilting dreams as infernos the massacre, hedonism's thrillkiss simmer as atrocity austeres the mode injected with just sufficient irony not to remove the mask to beg for morality or a minute more? Isn't there purity you can alterity? There is no authenticity for us, naive despairers we consider authenticity solely as a being death, some fray from the contingency mirestrom to rocket you to elegance's evisceration, martyr prayer shocking with color moon over our gunmetal machinated. We want our pleasant little saints in the portal midmurder with their emblem held, how much we envy them a positive essence of existence in slaughter, who wouldn't want to be remembered as an idea and a resolve? Better that than all this mess that pains us to recall. Authenticity is scrawled upon sepulchers, graffiti of the graves, so we fever project, that out of this fever anything may project, we can be housed in it eternally. You desire that from my negations gating and scraping to prowl pounce upon jugulars in vain, not yet am I mere aesthetic, and who shall say what from the turbid sea shall form a shore? You cannot determinate the welter without parting the sea, marching through the depths untouched by its mysteries, all of which in this vase lies shattered, none of this works as true, and I accept your brutalities, recognize me, recognize me, you have to see what wretched violence you identify, I identify in it, I accept you excoriation, isn't this the trueness of glimpsed, do I seem the type to worship mysteries, to lament their snapped to use? I'll smash the skull of sainted serpent to finish the execution, where's the nearest reliquary? Ever do you glimpse a vase and envision how it will vine kaleidoscope? Each slapsmash separate scarpattern, potter of breaches petals, your fingerprint upon the whorl. I'll be broken to prosaic, perhaps so nearly soon, and I'd never forgive the fulmination aftering, to have witnessed theoadore of the occident and not been hyperparitus to heighten her to inspiration, nectar of the ruined regal. You render mark me adversary, voila, cheerfully I adopt the lines, just as had you accepted a kiss, perhaps thespian that impasse, we can demodemos any deject maximal. Because we prey lane pulses, thus fate of pulses constrained one vein, clot or conquer. Before which arbiter do you deign dance duet dooms? I'll await your selection; surely you cannot claim I allow you no agency! Have you a personification to attest this vicious? Be assured I'll select the one that hurts you most: what you loathe recognize is my share of your pox, so you cannot the ill upon me externalize. We all animatedly insist I aggrandize dashing demand devil, because the fear I've half the hazard I hellion, slump silent in a chair in the dark as my mood plays on, how much heavier does it weigh when I outwit execute? Any would die a martyr, nigh glib their piety to pieta dazzle, but if you look out upon the pagans godforsaken and putrid pity commune, who would not then leap from the fire, slather in the filth and fumie? They delight in their self righteousness insofar as their superiority soothes failure, but if we paddle scramble in a mudwobble twinned, if each of us is pathetic before gods, well, terror of equality, there's nothing you can not inflict on others worse than inflicting it. There is no called they exile, no I who entreat your serpentines, yet we pageantry on, because there has to be, because if no how can we hate this corpse, mutuality our sole survival personal? Shall we die by his feet the slaves of old? No, we're not as hostile as you project, I am hostility mere. The only value I hold is shield. Curse titans thunderbolt collide the earth stratos, I'll spite their grandiose my hole, withering within. Defang sybarite I'll illyoumine their war withal. Every day I wake up is an agony I've got to drill holes in so it bleeds to death so I can sleep. You see here it bleeds, tonight I'll sleep, but then who shall arise the next morning alongside me terror, you, the holy, the gone, each state of which is worthless as persistence of memory, deepest scar of all my striving, is just how insipid it is, how little I've felt of any victory nominal, how crooning synth bluelight dark I damp in each defeat. I'd could I if faerie insouciant, yet then you totalize abstracted, forget forgo to skin, may as well not bother brutalize survive. Perhaps you admire I don't want of your manifold, but I don't want at all, my desire desubstances, mitigates to gray, and gray I can termite thrive. Any with you share is I've yet impotent to sunder alienate haven." Palms fire awild facetearing in panic induced inclusional violence, possessional of spectral anguishes I riot and wilt, gasp lucid. Volya stirs, rubbing his head from the clash. I slip [[away->mstart13]].

Unabashed, unabashed, beat out your doubts, wring out your lungs to seethe, bathe in spitfire, undouseable, undoused. You must cut out your heart and keep [[marching->mstart13]].

Do you feel it? Harness how you hurt. [[Entropy->mstart13]] engine, drink your chassis, erupt unto goal. Power unique, your stings.

"This world, grotesque, in its beauty, ongoing. Molded into a [[perset->mnexal]], we percolate to the roots, stimulate into new tongues, salival pearls new tales, string a gravity its embraceletting. Wickedly worn we languish the ast we esprit pleurals, how so singulated we stagnate, this strain of weary, worldweary, aren't you, Emnino? Yes, you feel so, in your lounging beneath shadows, I synergize this wight, our syncope agonies syncopate this worship. Dissociative morass of enfeel, isotopes heavying your song shut in these cavernous, such expanses, we slurp up slurries of outsides, no more we hail the hail. Terminus expansive we reside desume until corpses we interpunct, contrapuntal which reinforces the cosm? Smile, Yamicz, the stories burn within, your countercry invocates the slaughterslip, ahh! Where is the wode, yes? Where is the cull, yes? Runes in your bones gleam through cagechest. Imposed by whom, death? Interposing whom, lest? Admit not the melclasp, rebelliuent denia, jinn of demateria, be beserker of the ancient hymns, unshiver to atavisms bleakrustling through blackwoods to soothe you warsource, how you killed and could kill live. Spirit seethe solenmity, fountain of loosen, embargator of yugen, dreamthroat volcanism embarks you upon genuflexions of permutated beyond scope, godsyncope, hark your rippling volta!"

"I shall not lie to you, hearer of harrows, with truths neither I believe, but let us dwell in the mists souljoiners, seekers of sacreds buried deep beneath peat bogs, terrifying idolfaces fashioned to haunt horizons we cannot recollect, yet which sweat us tempered to its lesion touch, each embryonic interconnection garrots the claim, spluttered in irrigates absorptions. Nauseated, I speak to you in same seep, trashed aspirates we climb conclude prisions perfect to [[focalizer->mnexal]] esprit we enjoin to the justifier fray devolved into pleasures who writhe nude beneath our null, there where we echo to fulminate."

"What's Yeska?" I burst. "Hmm?" "The word. The one everyone says. They keep saying it and saying it and I want it to mean in the way you make it." "Yes I... well. Yeska is an epigraph: to the individual called. They write this because the Literature is not arbitrarily perused but calls to us, from our outstanding isolation it [[bridges->mbridges]] our tangents to the diaspora of bond truths, wherefroms creation eschewed seedling sentienced to a defined we like newborns taste as guided are we sociohistorical neon pulses away from subsumed into pulsating unionheart we arrested overload, nexus accelerator artysm where all collide and collapsules emerge, from unitary experient infinite diversiform to unity with parameters: to the individual called destined to breach which sanctum the book harbors in us already? Stories are theme links pressed together losing edges: read, you kin, enter our together solarity. "In books the epigraph is written Yeska seganyu dasanna czli, which means: to the individual called, follow me to where we are knot; which makes this clearer, though suppose we must preface this translation with this sentence itself, exactly as these words are this phrase phrases it, so as I translate, I merely say to you, the called reader: follow me to the true work, journey stretched dual whilst the prosody aestheticizes mirrored surfaces unique sheen of shadows whose depth requires receding from the union into pure as is as is in its intimacy integral power of the Literature, venerative smoketrails noctilucent in lost isle mists [[moonmedium->mmoonmedium]] between black seas secluded in nightmare nor dream, deity designifier arc pulsated into places whereupon flourish waypoints to real what screams raw in eidolon gales. Pusher across the question are you limited to frame, which is this infinite's aperture, reflective induction we conduit sanguine with selene releve upon moored, mystic transducer. "You ask of this epigraph my epicene intervening; why not your mercurials writhe these mephitic symbols of cavernous? Worship versifier to perfect accursed, translator interloper, how much is my existence inhibitory to your radical alive? Proximate to the place where I found myself at horizon, how do I [[sunsing->msunsing]] you, how can you pierce me your inscribe? Chanter wrung from a Senenzu grove, what have I taken from you, is it to where I have taken you? Can you destroy me in your own veneration? Because if not, what else, and yet your tears, ah, Emnino, truly you move, though you move with me, that's what terrifies me, we bring to the surface some of essence buried between us so in gem tongues can its vault presence endure in verve. Meaning is the ursense which pervades the transcendental shadow shed by perception over the primal geists of the infinite subjective. That is language, Emnino, why so terrifying is its unattainably lovely, because on our tongues our spirits roost supras in absolute commutatives. Where shall they run but to sinews by their presence tumorous? I am leading you into my mire, you precious one another, please swim out of it, sail on your ocean to your own land, but I fear in your glances... your expressions inspire such a tormenting [[enjambment->menjambment]] of hope and regret..." A cloud choking on its own fumes distorted and interbred, a tongue inside yours pushing to the tips to taste the flaking lips... "Can I hear a poem?" Was all I had. "Yes, of course, though what accosts us this night is separate from our... on the way here I was humming a sonnet that that [[gunsman->mhull]] reminded me of. I must sing it, and I don't know why, perhaps, and I hope, you will. Of Kabme Dokh, Sailor's Sonnets, by Senenzu Jyinu Wyklecz..." The breath.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Course the cutlass night's resolves along Icy canvas lakes in loneslit views Dressed in frost attire, skins sarong Soft like snow in daylight's gentle dews Sparkling serenity's allays' Cyan sighs to shade our frigid hues Victor's marbling facade to rays Dazzle brightened slickly snowflake blues Bubble popping silent, smiling sheens Thick abound upon the surface line Washing swathes across the blanket greens Forming shores. Attest this [[borderline->mstart13]], Veil our sights with stormless peace, design Volts to conduit destases shrine.] "Do you sense it? I... "Sapped by routine's venom they beseech only from destiny rest, once more yields, in, in the cycle that is, the power of the sonnet is the way they compile into cycles, tiny stories accumulating lifetimes as they span into one another, each one an outcry muted by the enduring of the second's hang, the lack of the eternal in its strongest capture, but in their unity they extend beyond their own lines, each sonnet carries the silence of their implicit kin, each sonnet an isle whose beauty glimmers all that which never made it to this surface, in each isolate a collective which does not undo the isolation, moments filled with the beauty of empty days, gaps which grant the second its stage so that the second may become a stage in the progression..."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Sweat and sadness sweep together mixed Ice in winter winds unstable, white Suns which snow in moonshaft glows affixed Wish to chills provides our recondite Blazes reality trancing songwind Leaps from lick to lick, a sense submerged, Flare meteorites in earths, the sinned; Roars suppressed, our silence soul will urged, Tugging shadows stars' despondence [[stings->mstart13]], Swings in mocking cold, slung grasps embraced Ropes like reasons, sails our seams unstrings Dreaming gone in circles dizzy traced, Wistful branches painting skyhued blooms, Heavy hoped designs, eclipses' looms.] "Does it not exude? Listen to the sonnets as they pair, what song do they summon? Surrendering to what gods we quiver before unloving ourselves and our world, dread veneratrauma of approaching intoxiclypse calypcystic... "Listen Emnino: if you want me to tell you poetry, then what do you hear? When I recite to you, what have I said, what next shall I be saying? When I come to you soon with a song anew, what will the Senenzu mean, and where from that meaning will you follow? If you are to be a Yamicz, a listener, then you must filter the noise for the song. I have lost too much by suppression, so if I emerge into this truth bare and alike broken, Emnino, if I show you whatever lies within us, then tell me, Emnino, listen: is what you hear a song?"

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Blessing bearing palesilk tingling Rippling certainty soothes elunes Asphodels austere snow mingling Elegance venemous vitas runes Mystical recalled in phantom vise Aura wraught to real transijinn Float petallic sapphireous guise Witnessed ghostly godforsakengine Roaring depthtruths riotous upon [[Automatiscope->mstart13]] chromaticscape Gear enveloping echtechelon Eidolon incorporating shape Stenciled spirit strength assumes the lights Trickling in wanshaft wines to crystallites.] "On this night, do you nurture a similar infusion, angel its assimilate? Serene surface, which terror depth compose? Perfect of each possible and all its horrors, this beautiful screaming we share, whom bends its moonshafts summoner? If I could say, wouldn't be worth this dwelling between, and we share this, don't we?" She smiled at me with tears I understood more than the smile.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Waves erase the mood to neutral soaks, Splattered sloshly sickened normalized Work accorded sparkened stark revokes Slurried self to tasks relentless vies Vising vision functionalities Hyperpressive intermeshional Torque reprisioning focalities Undulating intersectional Vectorized utilitiation strives Based on [[whorlplace->mstart13]] destables’ drain Damned to durate vessels’ fragile, lives Urned contextual seafables’ slain, Seize the breeze and be, refuse the still Ness of storm to surge our lines to overfill."] "You notice, of course, the final line breaks the meter as it ranges to overfill, and you notice the generalized enjambment that responds thematically to what we were discussing, yes, dozens of little things for a Yamicz to prise apart to understand it and this moment, all of them important certainly to their degree, but you have to be able to notice where they point to, what the purpose of each deployment is, or you simply replicate a form for having been a form for having been assumed, the spirit must capture you most of all, each statement we make about the sonnet is a pierce into its spirit, distillation of its tenets. We learn the Literature to delve beyond literals. You can reach this experiential level of emanation, if in each vibration you quiver its chiral entangle… "Wish ha we had years, as any Yamicz deserves, as you deserve Emnino, but we propel rapidly through each breakhold bulwarked to possiblate, deeper than all the signs we spell, so you must tell our heading from starlight, only then can we harbor dawn."

Loops of strange input printed inaccuracies [[rerouted->mpathways]] through geometries glitchy pulsations, buildings that breathe and writhe skeletonized to bones iron above slag crater lakes. Chiaroscuro hatches scoured grooves in gaunt, minatory minima leered through lacunae. Interference patterns pressurized slumpsteel seracs to eons sloop, can shiver their inexorcisate. Dizzied in peaks, too plenty of peaks above the pile to perceive sans seasick dribbled to down, crawling up jags, stabbed, release to drain acceptance, how so the sparknull speaks.

"We should off road ah," Pyeisa. "We're exposed to too many here." "To whom of this no one, you bat?" Mojyi. "Agree that," Gyadalta. "Any of these slopgates could spill ambush." "Plus the eyes," Tyese. "Creeps me out, the thought of eyes, just out there, somewhere." "Can you travel across the top?" Myeri. "Aye, why wouldn't you could," Pyeisa. "Pretty sure scavengers leave trails across the roofs for this very reason. We should be able to their use." "How do you know?" Mojyi. "How don't I know." "It'll slow the progress, if that's concern," Gyadalta. "They tend not to straight routes, the upways, and some parts may have fallen away. Could take us like days to across." "How does everyone know this?" Mojyi. "Safer lah," Pyeisa. "Won't we run into scavengers if we use their paths?" Leiska. "Possibly," Pyeisa, "but their ones or twos unlikely to engage." "That didn't stop us," piped the thief. "You're not a scavenger," Gyadalta. "Scavengers are their own type, survivalists." "Yeah we're scavengers, like why do you think we attacked you?" There was a bit of token arguing. "Besides," Pyeisa, "if there are scavengers, why not to the extra loot?" "Ah, good on the idea," Gyadalta. "Yeah, our own, if we keep cutting down." Kostiye. "Eyeh you so pessimist, believe in our capable, as this lad," Yakacza clapped Lomia. "Aye we ought to proceed the road, faster and less of the creepies sunken in crevices." Mojyi. "You're just in the position, because it's against mine," Pyeisa moued. "Yeah o, how don't I know this is the best path." "I agree we should shoot through, no telling what or how those carcasses harbor." Kostiye. "We ought to discover is our go, imagine the possibilities of decay." Yakacza. "Ought to pose the question to Captain: [[high->mhigh]] or [[low->mlow]]?" Leiska.

"We shall ascend by the heightened path, but we must hurry our course its reckoning." Myeri. Drained of sound, hushed of heat, the shifted silt slack of the somewhat sunken door sealing us into this push. I am wrong. Stairs dummed half hollow, half haunted, as we struck into the rust pipe drippings thumping the waste menace spewed across the landings, vile thickness smelting in its own fizzle gooey beneath the foot. I am wrong. Splattered haphazard disarrays three quarters through the [[plunge->mplunge]], calcified falls modeled in their last seconds watching artificial rain with heads reclined on splintered wood beaten into aspectlessness in final reversion to itself, inert pain scraping through their pelvis to emaciated backs and sallow stomach flesh in selfloathing's denumb sedation as pulses but not without the hate pumping again disoriented in circular indictments of this is what I could not escape extricates the exanimatrices of regret reenaction, this no more denial unto denial and its vanquishell, exiles laden into everwet clay scratching the filmy non for figments in phantasmic pinks whisper echo haranguing dark nooks with their straineds interspersed with hither summonings half a scream half the wind urging to crawl this way, I can show you what you have lost, like a [[cur->mcur]] they go cutting themselves on the detritus deeper into the hole of their not, litter solitude below stench, awash in the emptiness wrestling less. I am wrong. They rot into kin. I have no heart, no, heart is all I have, or is it mine, is my heart too wrong, yes, all it is, I am wrong. Cast into a bare cell cannibalizing the sickly crouched apart from the encroaching stark drinking passionfirst until the blandness of become and no more unto itself becomes an eternity in the austerity by which we can sense beyond. I am wrong. Monochromes gangling over the wreckage to return to a bodycase rather than this putrid soul. Wrongness rips paper silence for full erasure. Waxen muck forever frozen in a waterfall's death gurgle amalgamated the layered rusted, the lowest moment. I am wr. Lizard scatters in shadow clusters dripping sepia, my stand on the precipice weakening, squalls howling, fall, fall, fall like us. Hunker in gooseflesh revulsed. Genesis separation sprung gulfs between what answer could I render and our accession to the wastes upon which we were sprawled colliding in the hurricane judgment, and to my knees might I go to die at least penitent. Tonight the day could end.

Domains of pressure crinkle us to worm through clots. Beneath beetling blacksteel shatters chipchiseled to tattered forlorns sometimes twisted to [[gargoyle->mgargoyle]] grimaces we grumble and needle, tenuous, talonwiggling through crumbles and hollows. Desolation pervades, invades, you gaze upon the vacant vacant. Sepia pools lugubrious to cake to haze. Dysluminous disarray guards the way, guides the frayed to wavecrash, flushed rods and girder fragments wriggle beneath steps, sludges syrup through [[pileshifts->mpileshifts]], on all fours still we trip. Tripped into cage, growls muzzled mumbles, shifting of zips unblocked the rise, tugged out by Mylecz, nod tipped sideslant. Heaveness of chest ashed in the dustsmoky a mulchy apology he waved down to shove down my mouth wooly mothy, chagrin too raw chafed to deliberate, drawn taut instead into dullburn upsurged to headache. Pressing to balance to hold stern, assimulate enchained securelacra. Solidity envious of cityscape’s eternal decay I clutch my calcificates drooped to instab, drip venomous, invidity vitreous infernal, how the heart burns: contextual constructed to misprision eternals to ridicule, liminal convexicule. Vexed to altar, sacrecise. Reducer infusal transduces to prow, go, electreso.

Tension soaked our chests cold enough to shiver but not enough to sweat. Not solely in the phantom shapes weary wither tracers displasion was I willing to spill. Sepulchral liquid accumulated in gutters to listless ovalesques. Moss shapes crept like ants over piles alternately chalk white and powdery thick with sludge oozing caked purple creams from curling filth rivulets dammed by occasional pipes or fallen wall chunks. Indeterminate carcasses splotched what narrow [[pathways->mpathways]] cut through the trash, some hollowed except for ribcage impressions smeared with fossilized gore, others ribboning long corridors. From somewhere a broken caw.

Razors once rippers of eyeline dulled into distance dotted the [[deadlanes->mpathways]]. Crumbles mazy vertigone steps to horizon qua mirrors, seasick with reflection inversion backwards striding straight, vomit in our necks stuck as we stare up at vaults we nearly back into and buckle and become buried beneath. Trying to focus on a single point of reference returns you from where the inference aligns, calibrated to cityscraped, in its amorphous assimilated unclear enclosure laharing dimly beneath membranes of placed. Longer you wander, longer you perceive between waymakers.

"Tall this way o, why no the low?" Harumphed Vasya. "Weren't you worn shirtthin, you'd not complain." Yakacza. "And so is what if I'm worn? Been alive more days than has ever been for me prophesied, bound to be worn. Just cause you can a thing doesn't make it virtue." "Virtue is what the payers [[pummel->mpummel]] us, may as well have decency to guilt the resilience." Volya. "Vasya and decency, guilt?" Mojyi. "You can always choose to lie down and be left," Leiska. "I might even respect it." "Yeah's how that's gonna sate the hollows." Vasya. "You never will, keep marching." Gyadalta. Heavying thrums throated the cell deeper in our higher, steepening lyre. Peelings and rusteds rummed the ruinseeps. Slipcasts in the congeal buckled, buckled? What were these [[serpenting->mserpenting]] fractures? Dismantle blades grimaced through cracked winks, cut, gulletless grin. "Watch the, hey!"

"Stop," Gyadalta. Murmurs trailed from mouth to mouth to cease the need to say. Gyadalta teased the scaffolding with his foot: senescent, mouselike wheeze. "Something," another prod sent the decayed woodwork crashing down the landings "has been eating away at this." "Yeska, the eardrums hey." "What now?" Myeri ran a hand through his hair. "Unsure," Gyadalta. "We could try to bridge the gap." "With what?" Leiska. "Unsure. Is there wood around?" "The whole scaffold is wood," Yakacza. "Just take anything. Does it matter?" "How are we supposed to know what's good wood and what's not?" Kostiye. "How do we know we're not cobbling together our own crasher?" "We could send our least favorites first," Yakacza. "Keep straight," Gyadalta. "Just, I mean, just jump on it, right? Before you put it on. How would that not work?" Mojyi. "That way you'll know if it breaks." "Yeah but what if you go through the floor while jumping up and down like a yego?" Volya. "Guys, uh..." Pyeisa. "We might... um..." "What are you talking about? The floor's holding your blathering about it, obviously it can take some –" "Maybe there's furniture still around." Vasya. "Yeah but if you start jumping –" "Mate there's like sixty of us clanking around with gear and –" "I doubt it," Kostiye wrinkled his nose. "Everything not rotted's been taken by now." "Yeah," Gyadalta. "It's unlikely there's anything substantial left." "And then those sixty idiots start splattering like –" "Well I don't know you could do it in one of the rooms then, to test it out." "Which have the same –" "Lads!" "Maybe there could be like a [[ladder->mladder]] somewhere..." Vasya. "Maybe we could, um, like a –" "We could just go really fast so we're faster than collapse." Yakacza. "Hey!" "I love ladders, they're underrated, sick of stairs…" Vasya. "Hey! Hey!" "What's the problem, Pyeisa?" Leiska. "That's our problem!" Beyond Pyeisa's extended arm: kedyoi. "That's, oh, okay. That's a big problem." "Whoa," Kostiye gritted his teeth. "That's..." "Why didn't you shout earlier?" Gyadalta. Weapons unsheathed. Vasya wordlessly handed the thief one. Gyadalta as he passed gave a second guess but pushed through shaking his head. "What even is that?" Kostiye. "How many are those is the better question." "Yeska," Leiska, "but we've nowhere to go!" The front kedyoi leapt, grabbed Mojyi in its fangs, and ripped through its prey. We jumped back. "Hell such?" Kostiye. "Worry later," Vasya. "Arms up!" Vasya charged a kedyoi, but the appendage on its head knocked him sternly aside. The beast eating screaming Mojyi shook a bloodied mess of shock and bone. Lomia batted a kedyoi back but as he did another one [[swooped->mswooped]] in from the roof, it and Lomia a blur shooting to the next room. "Fjelske, there's a pack of them!" Tyese. "Volya, Pyeisa, to Lomia!" Myeri. "Aci, seek a route around the gap! Emnino, Kostiye, form a line around our patrons! Everyone else to the front!"

Kedyoi leaps at me, nearly lands on me, and in the brief second before it renews its attack I wonder, how strange it should have missed me, this ruthless opposition posed upon hiddens to kill, why should it not have found my mark, why have I been in so many frays and never once has death found its mark, have I gone missing in cosmic eyes? Pure instinct being pouncing, somehow I have slipped it: has the hunger gotten to it, emaciated its capacity? How has the same hunger not incapacitated me? I lunge strike and slice it to rearing to where I can pierce it, hold the lance pierced, push it in, twist it in, lunge forward with the puncture, sizzle in its shrieks and bleeds. Why is it dead when I am not? I don't even understand what I have killed. I just killed, this thing is twitching its lasts, oh gods what have I done, I didn't even think about it, I just, the thing was, have I become such a beast, kill so unthinkingly, murder in response to stimulus? Any motion and I'll lash out and find myself staring confused at a dead child. I have become the murder, more conducive of it, is my persist. I hate myself. A kedyoi is feasting on the face of Tyese. Stab into it. The kedyoi slacks beneath the press almost incidentally, slurping up some tangle of gore. Stab again, slings over to stare fierce foaming, clouded into motionblur none of the ensuing makes sense, somehow death: kedyoi, Lomia, some element of my lucidity: how many have I left? Looking at the plashment rue to fuzz its construe to formulate yes, there is a ladder, escape, yes, that was a mission once, when we still prided ourselves directed. I am a terrifying machine; no wonder my father could not fix me. "Ladder up this way hey!" I. "What? You've -" Leiska. "Ladder so, let's ascend out of it yeah, we'll clear the ambush." "Kid's got a sense to him. Rally up ho, ayy, this way so, rally to this ladder!" Gyadalta. "The Veda, protect the Veda!" Myeri. "Seem so they themselves." Pyeisa. "Keep up the -" "Fjelske they're -" "Blast up the kepka to your where is where is this -" "This way, this yah, see here!" Clambering automaton our shambling column which under dany duress responds the same: somehow wheezing free. Smothered not yet we who struggle up on rungs as - "Yeska, they climb, the dyenne!" "Yeah but lance them ah, get them on the leap, they can't -" "Why the hell did we go a ladder, they climb the yego!" "Just launch yourself up ho, narrow boards here, they won't through!" Ratted [[wood->mplank]] creaked sandy. Tilted beneath our running like might break, shocking their not breaking. Decided to swing to vanguard, let Gyadalta lead, ushered each one through, counting, this is still a name. Up popped through the Veda, Berakh steady as a mountain overwatching war, Meluoi verve of frazzled grace, and behind them, assuring their - "Captain hey!" "Got me ahh, it's got my leg, the demon!" Stabbed down through the hole, trying to smash into a jaws scrabbling mix, slip through one bite to - "Eyah that's my leg ah, you've got me on -" "I'll get you on the heave is so." I tugged him up hard. Jostled into the washed up [[dustlight->mdustlight]] we laze for a breath. Ever so tenderly I yanked out my spear from his leg to his yowls. Scrabbling jaws mix hounds the hole yonder. "Don't know that I, can't get to my feet..." Myeri, pungeant shock stippling his august sternness. "Aye Captain," slung him on my back, chased up the others.

Chaos blended screams. Leiska blurred to a room to search for an escape. Another kedyoi jumped over my head and shot into Gyadalta who held his ground and sliced one of its appendages. The monster reared and roared. Berakh unslung a jeweled scimitar, shouldered me aside, and rushed to Gyadalta's aid. Meluoi looked at me and shrugged. Myeri dueled two kedyoi, shouting insults on his every dodge. He sliced the first in half and ridiculed it, then kicked the other in its face. Leiska when he popped out from the room was horrified, threw Tyese towards Myeri, then popped into another room, popped out from that one to check again, into another, out, in, our battle metronome. Berakh killed the kedyoi attacking Gyadalta. Gyadalta nodded his thanks. Together they approached the monster feeding on Mojyi's corpse; it let limp the body to lick its teeth and stare. Two more kedyoi bayed as they raced up the stairs to our landing. Pyeisa and Volya turned to see the advancing threat: one of them sighed. Gyadalta stabbed the kedyoi through its head, but it pushed into his lance and tore at Gyadalta's shirt. Its headtail curled around him, pulled him, he scrabbled on the floor, but Berakh finished the kedyoi and lifted the gunsman to his feet. A more desperate nod of thanks. Lomia slammed through a doorway wrestling fist to claw with the kedyoi that had attacked him. Vasya chased after them desperately swiping at the creature. With a crash Lomia broke through the creaky railing, and both he and his foe went raining down the landings to [[dustlight->mdustlight]], the creature shrill, the man deep. Vasya looked after them, lost. A kedyoi crawling on the roof paused briefly to screech at us, then dived at Meluoi. I flung myself in front first, a long gash across my arm engraving burns as I swatted it away. I raised my pike and thrust but missed, the thing had jumped, crumple with so much hurting, its teeth scrabbling for the artery… it recoiled to the side, bluish blood gushing from the open wound. Kostiye shouted as it stumbled back. I leapt to my feet and started stabbing in between the noses. As it slapped its head side to side Kostiye thrust his sword through the thing's abdomen. It balled up in screech agony, and Vasya and I doubled against it from our side stabbing, stabbing, the creature in insectoid moan imitates increasingly pitiful, lower, collapsed. Myeri was shouting encouragement to us, his boot resting triumphantly atop corpses, not noticing a kedyoi crawling the wall to his right. We waved at him trying to signal the danger, but he nodded at us, seeing the corpse of our felled kedyoi, mouthing what did not transpose. There was a pounce, and both the kedyoi and Myeri went rolling. Tyese pursued, swiping at the creature when it settled. He struck straight to the stomach and the creature curled, and another blow knocked the beast off a confused Myeri, his back a torn mess. The kedyoi surged up and swiped its claws across Tyese's throat. He sunk to his knees gurgling and grasping the wound. Vasya and I rushed the beast, but it swung spiked headtails at us. Vasya dodged. I fell backward. Kostiye and Pyeisa above me a whirling snow, viscera radiating storm. I opened my mouth to gasp but choked on a splatter. "Hey!" Leiska. "There's a [[plank->mplank]] this way! Let's go!" Struggling to my feet I grabbed Myeri bloodbubbling something about fate and bolted. The rest were shortly behind, as were a stream of hooting kedyoi. I saw Leiska's plank leading out a window and launched onto it with a running start, the buildings and their gaps one ironwork groan as I slid through the blare. "This city," gasped Myeri, "is alive."

Where and fear fulminated to counterthrust the fall, heart spasming in the throat the motion, suddenshock of belowness as a mode of relation, looking up at beams raining, crashing about you beams raining, struggled into a nook bleeding as a detritus bludgeon blasted me closed cloaked in dark. Auditory [[scramble->mplank]] of punch, punch, punch. Sheltered behind a jut that shuddered with jet dust geysers as is it punched. Curling in the chaos to harbor. Minutes that have been beaten into a paste then fermented for months in a granite vat I bode before screams' shapes sharpened. Hiding in the disconnected shell until a sound too near spikeballs, but I pushed out in the darkness to dammeds, nowhere to out, buried inside. Panicked slaptracing containments. Contours that warp and pile and erect but never puncture. Limited air? Slow your breathing, calm down, you need to focus. I am in a niche beneath rubble. This has saved my life, and I am grateful. I feel bad for being grateful, I should have wanted to die, or been neutral to it, begged the plummet to ferry me to Jaufr and Kaiya, or, no, focus. Behind me is what I think was a wall, is a wall, is impassable. To my left maybe a doorway was, rubbleblocked. Above a steel sheet, likely a platform, dented with the deaths it denied me. Ahead is the sheet bent on itself. To the right is, and I could, could I just wriggle through, if I, if I just push this... "Where's the captain? You've got to get the captain ehh, we can't flee until!" Leiska. "How's I'm supposed to find him? Captain Myeri! Captain Myeri! He could be anywhere." Kostiye. "Where are the patrons?" Mylecz. "They've survived, they're by the door waiting, the beisza." Volya. "Ah ho Leiru’s out. Did you see Captain in your hole there yego?" Leiska. "No. There was no one and me." "Well then bend to the work, will you? He’s got to be somewhere this pile." Shuffled slantways to a [[dustlight->mdustlight]] where a clatter radiated. Uncertainty of bones gauzing also my eyes cataracts. Faint whimper wormed through my wayward to contact, recoil, Mojyi ripped and reaching. "Eh, eh, Leiru, it’s, please, it hurts…" "Mojyi, you’re…" "Yeah ah, ah, uhn, could you, ahh, uah, just…" Nodded to the rocks. "Mojyi…" "Just, it’s, I accept. Please, it, it, uh, hhuh, eurh…" Locked eyes for longer than I realized. Bent gently to a brick, infinitesimally back to closer above his, his, gone. Dropped the. "Oi, we’ve recovered the captain, everyone up to, let’s get out of here quickly!" Leiska.

"Grab onto -" "In here, safe over -" Crackles raged to roars. Ground buckleblasted. Air where previously a there. Our plummets halted, dangled by cords. Whipstrike of spacespill. Uncertainly large drop droops down to our dribbling down to moot. Interact wherewithfall. Plummet resumed into squiggling substrates which drenched our scrapes resinous with woodpulp and metalsap. Plopped on a semiresilient groaning for the space of several moans, relented to fall afresh, tangling in a continuous cavalcade of ripped, flipped, and flown dipped [[flurry->mfever]]. Aching on a break, have I broken anything? What now lies irretrievable of the wreck? "Is everyone, is anyone alright?" I. "Yeska, I’m, eyehh my shoulder…" Yakacza. "Baelu to my state, but up yet, up yet, more could collapse." Gyadalta. "What is there left to collapse lor." Mylecz, ruefully into ruby reflection Lomia. Looked down also to where broken lay Tyese, an expression in corpse somehow still him. Rent spine in sharp angles, head jutting forth as if to hiss. Windslight [[tempestsettles->mdustlight]] dampened cries to internalizeds simmering ruinous as around.

Under a flicker amber peripherally tinged with a subterranean intensity which at any moment could awe into orange [[hellmouth->mfever]] gnashed with choirs we silhouetted phantoms endured the counting which shortfell so many names we in our horripilation [[rippled->msharpless]] replies to soothe the anguish stillness of called, names numb in the brain, faces now frescoes: Mojyi, Lomia, Tyese, a name we know lies next, unspoken yet in the tension in the most stark of shades... Dazed into trance into trudge. Onward marching until our necks began to curl, waves of newness extruding over our refusal passivity, our restless submission to sealed...

[[Fever->mfever]] race through splitsecond interpretive rush of frenetic halfpaths, semiquavers of teases of for that terminate, stinted instead with a sharp right turn over gaping the city a single somewhat rotted board cosinepolining unevenly beneath our pace, sawtooths of plungeleap jittery to pulsewaves threatening in each negative the pure deep tone. Through the frantic blur of city where to everywhere we trace an escape into more uncertainty, yielding us up unto Tower networks more dense than we can path, roving lifewise aimless upon [[arcswallow->msharpless]].

Motion delirium muted tides to recede in wan afterimage fizzles, sparkles inside my eyelids erratic over twilight tars. Rainsplatter delays lured dribbling grimes to behind eyelids gush scars ripspreading wide to witness seething unceasing [[hypercut->mhypercut]] citrines spasming where eyeballs should, rapid eye movement, miasmatic turbid deluge through wriggleweeping on detritus stabs. "Get yourself up Leiru, you can't keep downing geigu. Up you get, you wretch, go on." Leiska. "Did you eat in morn? You've got to keep strength for the march lor." Mylecz. "Yes, I, I..." Words slipped to which witness whom unspoken hummed it sharper? Shades underwrote our nervous certain of watched. Billowing [[warmist->mwarmist]] like again could it all, or has it even ceased, what do we judge of shuts and scatters? Involved into rewrittenables frozen but for the interweaving into experience. Capacity drained from carapace to sheer pace, strides that animate the wastes, tips and turns blending sparks into unseen gears. Ivory sighs tusked sinuous conduit to where dwelled in the stripped and soughhowling ebongilded peer, pulmonate, roar. Scattered on ground we wheeled ourselves up to pinning poising over the throat of Mojyi starklit lifting a loose thinning pointing to where nonfollow we fierced up to wield to fend swipe the gargoyle prisonteeth perch.

"How deep you think it goes down?" Mojyi. "The [[pileholes->mpileholes]], I mean." "Deeper than you, what matter the else lor?" Volya. "Yeah it doesn't matter to me, but I'm gonna make it matter to me, that's my perogative." "The romanticism of it, you know, the depths." Mylecz. "Yeska, not this kepka ehh." Volya. "I once watched one down a hole, not too different than these, highrise collapse hey, and he said, he said uh, uh..." Tyese. "Can't it go deeper than the Floor yeah, so I mean, not that deep." Kostiye. "Oh you're just so sure each Floor doesn't below the beneath?" Mojyi. "Eh?" "Don't bait it, you'll set the kyauska off." Volya. "How are we so sure that the ceiling of a Floor is the floor of the next Floor? Like, couldn't it be that each Floor is banded irregularly with the ascent?" "How does that make sense?" Kostiye. "It doesn't." Volya. "Like we assume yeah the evenness of the Staircase corresponds to an even distribution of space to Floors, but what if the Staircase just ascends as it does, and the Floors just ascend as they do, and we're arbitrarily correlating the two?" "But how do we cross yeah between one and the other?" Pyeisa. "If they don't match, why do they then match?" "What if, okay, what if our perception of correlation is skewed by -" "Fjelske!" Volya pushed Mojyi. Mojyi slid near me, popped up furious, raced back up the pile, tripped into a looseness that tumbled down the rolling hill, [[avalanching->mavalanching]] metallics, beneath us a rumbling growl reverberating uncontrolled through cascade barks of beams breaking to the suddenly flood.

"Glad eh you came though Mariena?" Kaiya. "Yeah eh, always nice when you’re out and, but, but the getting out is what slogs." "Wasn’t so bad! We were out in a shot, no?" "Aye sure though who should ever stand when [[cuddled->mimeni2]] in the warm?" "Not so cold today, not so much breeze." "Are the waves paying you the tours?" Imeni. "What’s with all this mandatory positivity?" "You can’t be out so on these waves and mope leh, you got to keep the tack." "I’ll mope where I happen to be, bring the moping to me." Mariena. "Then you may as well in open air hey, mope the sunshine way." "You are my sunshine Kaiya, is why we could just lounge to the same." "We are lounging, or I am anyway, best of luck with the rows." Imeni. "For the best ah, not to tip over." I. "You were, no, you were reaching over is what spilled us." "To pull up the lines!" "Well, we got to the fish eh?" "Aye, she’s the old touch, always saying we’ve grown weak, ought to out them proper, diving and wrestling, don’t truly ken taste of a fish don’t you tear them out of the pumping muscles of the deep, [[reckoning->mvoid2]] raw to raw constricting murkwild of your swallowing exhume." "I keep say ehh dredge me up pearls while down." When nobody laughs, she explains oysters.

Vectors of indeterminate space gridded us to feint the enjambment calculus to Tyese and this stalactite imperious pointillism abrasion baphomet; gone the former, incipit the former, replacement puzzleboxed us in its phlox neon plane, advance and aggress according to receding into horizon lines combined halation. Elected into this coscriptor Lomia, who struck into bounding, but jitter phantom motion remoded the menacing to append new phases through where next Lomia struck to behind him a scintillation peregrination betwixt strikes and determinates strikeable, [[cyclication->mrelentless]] crescive pressure to bound to be to wreathed in lassitude wobbled the intent if not the content, less approximate the attacks, until whipped the shadow to his closeness undeterred and merged, crushcry. Pyeisa and Kostiye rushed up to take up the space, but Meluoi motioned them back, saber flourishes runewriting forced static the invisible framement to permute to Berakh's acute sever sealing behind lackwidth the yet crashing in gargoyle halved, head and jowl and wing and claw, raging as if complete. Berakh began again to sign, but Myeri charged ahead of him yelling what I did not hear. In my sleepless I have puzzled the exact wording, tried to forge links from noise polluting my tinnitus: recede your might in honor you are under our guard; I welcome you, star prophet, to where verses discard gods; proceed the fights of our fathers, sailors of this begotten; ensure we share in this light, shedders of shadows future; involve your truth this day, chanters of this suture; accede no deriver, assume your power this desperate; I am aflame with the driven of eons; follow me now, friends of this resilience; I feel like I am making them up, every time I travel down the sound to gutters remainders, discovery [[reverberates->mreverberates]] hollow, turns me back to the holding out where strings this sound I cannot quite, and what would he even say, what is Myeri more than the words that could not fit into where they were cut?

Theremin shivers [[tremulated->mreverberates]] across a sinuous mist emitted by nailscreetch against pylons, outrunner of shapes coagulating from darkmoss, gargoyles dozens, hundreds, volleys of talons rain down upon us. Scratched my face a gargoyle, leapt upon it, punchscrabbling at its cool stony as winged it a hover above the rabble, projectile we whisked through the battle in slams and wrings and turns, wrestlescabbing stone to skin so strangely intimate in how we hated ourselves most in survival struggle, the sense that the worst will win and we won't stop it because we are in it. I managed to yoke about its neck and the tugs veered us into a rubbleslide out of which we lifted disarrayed and I with my fingers free jammed them into where carved were its eyesockets as if somehow it correlated with the violence I sought to express, and I pressed, intensive injecture nearly nubbing fingertips scraped, punctured, [[pushed->mrelentless]] through its mineral membranes to reave its simulacra conduits, crashed we netherly to plume. Rolled sooted from the grave to clamber on top of uncanny simulacrum Lomia frozen, expression uninhabited, and I inches above him strangely secure, having never once looked directly at him, always judging presence peripherals in moody oblique semisubmissive bends, here he laid before me to notice his scraggles more stubbly than I remember, to ascertain qualities which now cohered him in ways I refused him, a nobility of mien clifface passive, an attractive bulkiness in which you could nestle, now slicked clammy, permafrost wan of his vitalities shunted me off the frame to stagger where below my feet I felt crunch a wrist recognizably Tyese, everything is collapsing, there is no one left to remember, this city assimilates total its absented. Through the mist I meandered uncertain of premise. White grains salted the bloom to burgundies torn to reveal behind it grime iron and plasterboard. Yolk yellows dribbled through gaps in the pile to the sateless thirst. Yawn moan fizzled steam in cold. Wormroads narrowed until I crawled increasingly spider, junkwebs of worry jutting a stringy jetty over Berakh ebullievancing bubble cerulean where others huddled. Gestured at me Meluoi to past me where Myeri in flame silhouette dueled, no, struggled under a frenzyfeasting gargoyle, or, not eating, just ripping. Bounded up to them I don't know why but did tackled it, and a profusing Myeri jumped up behind and the both of us this intensity until the world started swooning with us and I laid back into what congealed into her eyes gauging me, Meluoi, lifting me up, until Kostiye shouldered me up and led me the race til it was mine, was mien.

The hallways go on as we do, mimicking or mocking, channeling the same energies through winding wavers to debouch in [[burning->mfever]] iteration, capsule consciousness crushed to powders snowstorming perspective lines blurred, [[sharpless->msharpless]] shoreless we elastic spooled through in racing suddenly swimming drastics, holding onto Myeri, his vision of this electrophoresis missivesion. Hymn cupolaed about his mutter, incense echoes silvery disappearing in ajoite anointed hollows.

Dizzy swollen the city chug circulates through cogs that clog and clank frozen smelteds to corrugateways to trundled to rubble flares a final sigh singe of twinge of buckle and glide until restless place resumes its less. Unprocess daze umbilicaled to a pulsating visive. Unguent noncongruents grew to glue the undulants to flue rheumatisms sooty stark. Jutter of fires far below. Information devolverload littered from sparks the groans unbuckles nondecode, nullness [[sequence->mrelentless]] subsumes, resort to upwards nodes loosens beyond your fretwork. Cagerust pillories pile in capillaries nervents fuming wheezebleeds. Brushstrokes brutal zip the hedronal black with nexallated veins, verisiminitude frames imprisoner joists. No way up or out in this fracture fractal, fragmentation to the brink of unity. Spansive sans ex clades the riot to lens. Throughlines knot, glances web them warped to the tremble of embolisms. Pierced by dizzying degrees of nonpositive presence, silicate in chasm. Smoke prevented me from forcing myself up through the fulminating radialate, too steep the drop to try another tunnel, stuck, no, if but I could leap grab that edge, may as well, it’s the only, no no you’re gonna fall, that’s, you’ve, okay, just, you can focus, jump. Don’t think anything other than necessary is how to survive. Steam sanded deep breaths to silt how I tilted unexpectedly in the leap, tugged at blunts’ jab vertex, pulled up to where I could stare down, down where refuse fires simmered a substrate upon which all this collapse was built. How many languish there whom we higher [[echo->mreverberates]]? Do our disorders resemble how they first this city constructed? Would they despise how we underdwell once more a blank surface? Suffusals sank with us thunderswells swallowed, each storm pallborne to sonderfell. Eons they could not wreckon urbane our dwelling up to skyrise. That we alsobsurface, pupaelation dencity. By instinct rattling its bars propelled through lattices and terraces this terrain burial unenshrouded to misty beneath, upon its plane perched to where wayweary the rest reconverged. Slid down madeshift escarpment to compiling euhs. "Leiru’s up hey." Mylecz. "Okay so," Kostiye in his head counting the missing. "Who cares Leiru ehh! Keep seeking the lot of you the Captain!" Leiska. "Captain’s buried?" I. "Aye, off into the mines so!" Leiska shoved me down a hole. Surge of pain of sprain, no, not quite, can walk, or wobble, need only shimmy. Purge the doubt and delve. Lines interconstrict to collapsable nowheres barely to bode, where could his body go? Interdigitating powerlines coil bites knot to nets, caught, cut these cords to whips, flagellate deeper into fibrous mesh febrous thresh. Lashed to ferrous masts as down they wind through wefts. Crushed beryls bracelet the gulf. Deep shades of shoreless shimmered. Silvery moan drew me to an inset I searched through to peek a blue drizzling through. Could not squeeze through so I hacked at it and kicked at it and still could not, felt along it for aperture another, no but a weak infrangible I could force: ram, unbudge, again to the tackle, begrudge, charge into pell lunge, debris kinematic kaleidoscope to crash halo. Drearied up to why did I before beholding upon a plinth Myeri nearly impaled upon an antenna shock cyan. His mouth lightly lipped apart to porcelain a moan as auraed around him conducted electrics to suddenly quicken the antenna to stencil into his skin symbol trembling his eyes unbridled to readjoin to empowered, circuit breaker, rush realigned the room to irreconcilable streams, seams that seem to breach and bulb to agonizer treacle trickle of alterminusites polychroma curdling in epistemic bubbling plops of polyps alien to core, radionic Myeri remerged to statinnitus gnatly, rippling yaw a buzz fraught to perspex nailsdrawing from scratch to palette the raw. Flash. Cranial deletions replete in determinacies rote us rotoscoped into reel, binds that unpeel our plasticity sealable, where the hunger hollows to palate, vault of our speech. Myeri sparkshivers with mums. "Where are their voices who lit this overlode, how do we delve to the next phrase?"

Everything at once bellowed the rush sudden brass. Downward roll and roar. Wavefoam steel lacerates, blankets. Beneathness overwhelming. Caged polygonal by crystalline blades, hollow lustrous pierce, edge valences lancing whilst the avalanche rumbles settling syringely. Jutted just above me a glint. Shock loosened into riots rampaging nerves deluge. Quiverfire itch acupunctures. Wrestled out of an initial pain position into a new one worse, rolled up to fetal but stopped short by a fang nibbling my jugular, leaned back, razor pillow. Don't panic, breathe slowly, don't flail, that's how you die. Inched a semiside slide out of a jaw into a nailwhorl, tremulous into troth in which could I [[stretch->mreverberates]] up, grab a girder, lift up to a daggerine grimace gutted me nearly tiply but I pressed my wrist into a niche and leveraged it, twisted myself nigh somersault, then scrabbled up a sheet by solders, out onto a joist I rested on, heavy and a little wet breaths swirled the sooty motes texturing snowy beauty of dustrain cosmic. Milk of magnesium quicksilvered my drymouth. Warped to horseshoe insulation grained the space between sparksharp cladding crumbles. Winking ghoulish a wire. Pushed up to lopsided smooths reasonably rungs, arched back riveting spasms, dragged sidle to climb as it tilted me back to horizontal helplessly pressed taut, no way beyond the envelope slip, so I shimmied down, down each rung with punched silent crying, reassessed some alternate route, just laid there. Vertiginous maximate sinewous through fracturejections clouded my can impaled. Miasmatic trapped the casting depths to emanate, emulate drained to eventide. Why survive? In the face of calamity, exception? To whose ends this refusal to end? If you crawl your way out, is that better or worse for those who also? Nothing of me is worthwhile, they have all died along the way, I am mere persistence, actor who outlives their lines. Not even me who survives but this desolate being, sandstorm of senses. Homeostasis refusal to punctuate, puncture through the surface; all these aches that persist for months then fizzle into malaise, wounded wrists and heartburn throbs into which you awake, persist, allay. Marking months not by moon but by wounds. In the season of drilling toothache I mourned you, by the season of muscle spasms I learned to love you in absentia. Yes, because there is precious empurpled in the pain. Struck back up the topward tune in each reverberate echoing through the narrow. Pressure pushing the debouching billowing gunsmoke. Xylophoning a clamber over lopsided balustrade fencing the further a grille. Percussing the rhythm invective upon a beatably releasable until I punch through to the [[relentless->mrelentless]] and plume, superheated needle sewing through slag a stitched grin lopsided to menace spill. Rocket through the rocket through the. Grab hold of shine and bangle wring it to bell. Dustscape through which disheveleds call anxious and pick forlorn. Exhausted nearby Mylecz huffs a nod, I try to reply, but my express cannot quite cohere to a normative range.

Voices incurate their timbres to bend to shapeshift to the shibboleth without shirking the shootbreath [[expressure->mexpressure]], but I shortfall the twists to sulk in bulks which do not pass, press into shornheath pools sapslime slicked, venture [[steplight->msteplight]] into amouldering mire, thicker and drippier the duress. Sweated whereness stirruped our jostled forward to Myeri's gangrenous direction, marshes he [[benedicts->mbenedicts]] cathedral. "Ascendancy of brushes, the palm behind, the face beneath, electricity permanence in the conduit [[record->mrecord]], how do we upon the canvas [[vatic->mvatic]] encharge? I have been, we, we, sailors have been charged, this [[quest->mquest2]], and the, Veda..."

Soldier forth through the step and stuck struck into the strangulate semitones [[fizzes->mfizzes]] slithering asp through your heatstroke rasps warm seethe steeps the sand swallows. [[Incapacitate->mincapacitate]] clot step ghosts pulling your draining into the graves, [[tombs->mtombs]] reinscattered on the tremulant torpendure. All of ourselves in sweats to the alkahest. Wrench slump pump struggle slunk sucks hot sand to chase the gap's collapse drunk on the [[stagger->mstagger]] staggers so the process, smashing brows shut to forbid the view, the endless dune expanse which in ergs defies lines, sloshing sea frozen in burning fragility crashing but never crashing, foot stuck in boiling surf, pull. Shoes filled with [[gnawing->mgnawing]] teeth. Toes cannot touch toes, bristling sand crunching in their scrunching. Exhales that threaten to rob the whole chest. Sweat, sweatsoaked, hot sand, sand. Myeri like acrid smokes: "I moved like, like milk spilling on oil, and as I swung at the cloudy recant, it must be as if I was what all my fathers' faces resembled, [[primordial->mprimordial]] demands from our built together answered from whatever dust, it was us, wasn't it, was us..."

Heat burrows in the skin in itch fire bulging the containing crevice, spasms debouching jutters dry, smoke billows ashing the air, consciousness a cystic gruel. Scratch, itch thieves stealing through the legs sweat beads. Singe sand swell swallowing feet munched. "Cloud [[regalia->mperpetual]] to mock claying outlands, [[wardens->mhero]] of a, a, they say we shall not... was I there, were they watching?" Myeri.

My knees, are they gone? I squinted. Vectors complected in a pull to three syzygy zeniths, free in its vault forever contained let this tired marching drown. Fangworms gaping sucked the hot sand and chewed on its filling, ripping out the foot and snapping the jaw slathering... "We sail to the same horizon, and, when we drown, the depths reunite our douseds, do they, no sailors but the legs, the arms, the lungs, the force, the fight, the need, testify thirst, a relation to the extant surpassing succumbing to becoming, [[perpetual->mperpetual]] wrain upon the wrung dust dale as holy planar [[potentates->mhero]] whose decrees shall shake the seas, are you not ukase living in complete subject, the source of us fizzes beyond each of our brims… in the froth intend, soaked say yes, mean yes, be this everything, so yours to take..." Myeri.

Kostiye silhouetted in offgold steam. Myeri splayed on his former support mouthing heedless what he could not yet say. Mylecz in a one two tug rested Myeri's grip round him, tumbling went they on, Kostiye rising their rusted shadow peering into lump [[futures->mperpetual]]. Another step and a need to tug out, and I staggered forward too hard to unlurch my heel. Knee throbs reining, under what death will this malaise cool... "Each hour I must answer [[ghosts->mhero]], from what silver they materialize, in which place they lurk until the eye surprised settles on their disformity, when bent we lift up to their notice, grim, stern, uncrushable doubt foaming irascible calms yote in corrosive slag, our qualm flesh like clutchless gropers bereft before the jealous wealth, and whither endeavor rebuttal our, what from us shall gratify the disjunction? I stand here, though I sweat, though I can't, though I push myself but can't, move..." Myeri.

Yakacza with a drop was sitting on the sand mouthing parched minnows. Gyadalta grabbed him, dusted him in a jab, yanked him up; stumbles, but no new fall. My fingers closed more slowly as I sought to grip my shirt, pull it from my chest, stop them from puddling together, and I sneezed, sneezed. "I see it, I, oh so, can so see them, front of me, so real… they know, they speak of it. Every hero to pages passes, demigod in emblem transgressions sundering the repressions to inscribe a testament of their retroeventual, no blaze shall burn brighter than the fuel that feeds it, so praise the vaporous, you believers of air… can't feel… yes, yes, what of a birth is earthic [[perpetuance->mperpetual]]? Can we capture what is lost in making us? I will be what sears us like a sun, what we must live under but cannot look up into, the idea from the dead, the threads on the face of a [[hero->mhero]], those whom our tears shall distort to frame and color, life and idol..." Myeri.

Pain lockets lodged in my ligaments. Mucus and nothing but it. Hot, hot sand, my knees ready to buckle, sighs of those nearest... "There is all this pain that prevents us [[building->mperpetual]] on what is not dead within us the [[monument->mhero]] to pure election in our moment, are we not always pointing outward to our, our… what is it we, surely must be…" Myeri.

Myeri convulsed froth; the kedyoi's poison deepened its hold. Dry heaves bulbed his stony scaling, the richness of his skin marblizing by the moment. More blood dabs speckled Mylecz's sleeve. Leiska wiped his brow, absolute gravitas. He realized and sighed. "I can, remember can, both boys, Yuli and I, in the predawn, not a sound to be heard, snuck into the Builder's Cathedral through the crypts, no stirs to unmotion our surrepturge, crept to the vestry to find the Epochs Tome, fingertips [[tracing->mperpetual]] the most ancient figment the stained glass [[embalmed->mhero]]..."

Myeri gurgle crunched in the pain and gasped awhile. My forehead reddened on the inside, inside the skin it reddened, rubbed my hand but could not reach the rawing. What were my knees, snakes? Miasma coagulates spumed fever rubies on our pulling exhale exacting. "Sailors, brothers, you must, please listen... I can't, I will, I must, yes. Don't you, can't you see? Hate of the second is our admission of outer need impressed on our selecting experiant, we hate our time for it is what partially we must become, endure, reduce ourselves to, though the warmness eludes our basking, and how much we revolt against being told to be worn, but listen, listen, all which begins continues to whatever ends; around you, sailors, see the pattern forming? We, we, it is our... can there... guhk..." Tripped and Pyeisa tripped too, onto me rolled, pushed up from my chest, launched by my leaden air, lay this listless deject, exile from anima, so easy to watch them shapeshift to gone, but eventually submitting, rising to meet simmering, gaunt onwards. Shall I... "Will they mutter my name in the litany, will it mean, will it matter? Will I solidify, will my trail... in the, in the scale, in the enormity's unfocusing, but will this matter, what of... legends are never now..." Not that I could not not can stop my head from the bobbing, but my head is the bobbing, I am one with the pressed up slumping to the pressing up spring, willingless and wormlike will I await the rushing punch to my chin, spit out, stare up, oval gasp seeking something else from the somber hollow. Sandpaper throat rough rubbing enjamb slabs thrust up into my nose's sides, warm saliva spilling between grit teeth, I chewed my jaw. Intensity buzzed clammy temples clamorous til their ululations leaked drybeds hulch down through my sweatdrenched shirt as seen from miles across a canyon storm shocked up my soleus not numbness lightness lightning, its blistered imitation. "Captain Damano Myeri, son of Captain Duloi Myeri, son of eauhh, eahh, son, son of Captain Wyskhi Myeri, grandson of Captain Hulevsz Myeri, of, son of, son of Admiral Evmanei Myeri, and on will it go, the Submergence our juncture [[sealant->msealant]], to Captain Pyevi Olyasz, I belong, we belong, can we belong..." My forehead sweat was the coolness that made unbearable the heat, cold and fever could not I unfasten, return to the blandness of single experience, but the sweat on my palm brushed off, mingled with the sweat, cold burning uncontrollably. Do not vomit for the vomit is hot. Emptiness sloshed me seasick to vibrate my stomach hollow mournful lute, vibrated like the skin might plish into the acid at last. "Up the hill where he glowers! Do not look on me so ahh! Even now shall this ghoul scowl when by this quest his equal, one more in the eternal legion of the struggle land, the sea? Ah sailors, how I miss the sea! This Tower, it, it's starting to feel like a desert to me, can't explain it... I must go home, be reunited... I did it, did my part, it is right for me to be sent to where I belong, natural, need, I must be in the sea, be the sea, take me to the sea, sailors! Drench of danger and the hope this might be alive forever, or at least a shadow whose cling still retains a pulse's glow..."

Resignation is so simple. How long could I lie nondead? When would the switch creep, could I notice? How much further could I really push on, and who waits for me? Couldn't I lie, accept the bed suitable to my waking, what good in moving, where do I earn the right to go? Yawn pleadless drawing groggy, limping lids split on endless tan, why should I live? Leiska dragging his limbs through the eurgh motioned to the Southern Window to which the sand ramped, hollow illumination simulacra tapering with evening hung by a single profound cloud, and could we hear it, the sea? Ashen blots sullen up the dune tottered we to the Window to the sea. Incline steep to lead you to your inclined, let your breath mix so the sand can rejoin your ragged tongue. Our threadbare scarfs whistled in tune to the Window's wind lamenting. Soiled, weren't we all, didn't each blink feel it? The winds could never clean us. My legs became trunks, ungainly rigidities fthhed in the dune. Warmed, dull razors resisting plunges. Raising strain, lowering pain, strain against the streaming breeze, let the sand rapid you to the mirage in which interwove Myeri's gasped phrase halves... "I may not, may not see it, I have set in motion... Pyevi, he, he must carry on my, hook the Myeri line into hold, uninterrupted flow of, of, continuing the, live whole in the... this, this moment... this journey... we are coming to... the sea!" Steely impossibly winked the cyan crawling sea with luminous vicissitude. Hurtling expansives shunted single sight as Myeri pierced to an inner beyond, the hidden perspective point in which acomistic melding circumfuses, desaturating unlineation compress expanding into tabular marine, patiently biding experience entireties slumping as unseen birds call. Smiled blankly his head lolling back ragdolled. Mylecz sunk to his knees, Myeri rolled off to the tip of the Window, the free breeze through his salting hair. Devout prefiguration his jaw aslack with warped wonder. One by one we knelt or sat to encircle him save Leiska who turned to perceive deserts. Vasya began to roll down, down the dune, away, away, soon they'll follow… "So far have I voyaged to look upon a home as one who belongs there... soul leviathans across your eternalized structure me into your recessed supermission, for I have," Myeri coughed blood and venom, "become..." Myeri staring at the sea. Mylecz reached to grab him but Gyadalta swatted Mylecz's hand and motioned still. Myeri took a deep breath or sighed. Without breaking his lock on the sea, he leaned out toward home. Impression raindrops trickled watercolors of remembereds and anticipates, the unread glyphs which set us go, as he goes so come we inward, the embracing sea a reverie, phantom figure crashing towards encapsulation, symbolized anthelion knowns as we wait for the moment to be individualized in frames modal a [[dynamicision->mstart14]] mighting us swept along the swallowed here by something larger with our own fates interlocking, enclaves bubbling up the same spire here spilled, spill us, spill me, as the skies open my whole being tingles severance. Leiska took a long swig from his flask, wiped his mouth with the hair of his upper arm, dryly said: "Let's go."

Inched to mood the stable, struggled to strain it stable, stumbled over a dune unstable, jarjolted Myeri to energy. "How oft have I presaged this Veda sanctuary in our palaces’ hints of parallel, and to see it so, so…" "This is a sandtuary of you lot?" Pyeisa. "Hush, let him rave." Leiska. "There it is, can you feel it burning on the wind, whom we have been? All of our materialized answered at last in earth! You can hear the call of, their within us howling, all of this, this skin burning…" Doubletrawl of each step hurt more than relief of pulling away kept us crunched into focus all withinness suffered acute in each reach through to some truth permanent more than the hollow resists which sweated down our wristflicks to mingle rain where never would it be known, sizzleghosts of sighs we wished humidity to reply. Hunkered in the fever unwilling to recollect the cause for pressured above, all into our vicious crescive recurved, permanence distress impervious to tiny sips slipped down tinny throats scored with bouldules. Eyebrows bristled their furtive not to faint. "So long before they asked of me an hour, could dream not reply somehow an appendive equivalent to how harsh marshal they shadowed in the cellar, in my bricolage mid, the somehow forced to perceive as, as, snakes stretched from my fingertips droopy kissing the cool tile? And is that how I heard these heroes call out, underworld akin? I, I’ve a fever, sailors, seems a desert, seems I’ve dreamed it a desert before, cycling into a neverness acute in each arc twist… "Forcefully I’ve leavened the hold until it breaks not our concrete molded, after so many generations impossible to stray, at last rebound pendulum to center nobility, permanence of platform, how we reign upon a dais to gaze at fluidity of contingencies which reckon not to liturgies, our histories of majesties, each a stronger bulwark against decay… whose foe to we slay to assimilate identify, have we not been dueling for ages, do we not know how our stories end, so what fear we of the end, the, how precious for all the waiting to finally be [[over->msealant]], you can hear ourselves calling how we are attendant to our calling, can’t you, in the, in the sea, yes, let me swim Towerbound of motion, singulated staymeant of flows forever rolling, rolling, scrolls we are unrolling to list endure, I, I’m listing starboard, you must, stand me to statue, sailors, please, there’s not much time, only oceans of it…" Mylecz bent to lift Myeri, but Leiska halted him. We in a scraggly swoosh semiencircled Myeri who sandlaid slowly to buried. Leiska had us kick the dune to shroud. He is laying there destiny forever, one wishes of frigid nights. Myeri terrored in a gasp eliciting the same. He reached rigormortisly in muted groanshrieks towards the Window so far away. Leiska sweating; ah, bitter joy to see him sweat. The desert sweats us all the same. Mylecz picked up Myeri; we proceeded upwards, upwards, he has not yet ceased, may never...

Presentation absence reduces us to causal expressure through loops lagging the levitation axial pursuit, but how do you the motion its missive represent? Missing who wades through rushes. Dependency [[nonresolves->mtantalus]] revolted through exhausts in wends to wends to wayward, circuits inexorable. Progressure thus thence of these involver physicals whence? Skulks of sweat blear the [[horizon->mumbral]] rending. "Out of all our trials the stage has been built, the task of centuries constructs us to, to, eahh, we're, and the moment sings all of us to perform before the, the, eurkh, I can't see..." Myeri.

Over mounds and through mulch we marched until mire was the march, in each shove a swimming in sludge. No abound but [[burials->mumbral]] we fear infused in nervousness animus animation that refused us rest. Muck caked into muscle through loose flaps, porous to outpouring, movement shuttered to dim the wake. "I cannot but feel how this overcomes, and don't you believe it sailors, how we stride illumines the worldlong [[striving->mtantalus]]? So much continues to, we've, but if we could just, the act, the outcome, we must solarity..." Myeri.

Gentleness simmered [[paradox->mtantalus]] in ache trusswork to keep the form despite the pressure, bliss of release as tension condemns the whole, believer in the structure intensity of project as inevitability crumbles us to individual failstates, incapacity for survival mutual built native into our networks, only in our mass [[graves->mumbral]] shared many agony for a savior. "We reach the apex, we're, I can feel the pressure building, there's, if only we could see ourselves as they do us, in the fullness of the connection, single unity arising, we colossus selfconstrual..." Myeri.

Why should we doubt Myeri's struggling to speak? If he does not find beauty, is it different than the rest of us? Why laud we the fisher of days, why not the one who dives [[beneath->mumbral]], never finds air of their sacred? Why can I not love him more in his inability to breathe? You've never loved him, you're incapable of love. Yes, well, respect, can I not respect a brave and pious act, despite gods which do not accord it favor? Is there any more precious than the record of those who attempt, and who cares the outcome, all coda, all afters, no bearing on their being. Grasping hold of forever we wilt into prolongs. Let him rattle stilled, he will have achieved what we do not, marchers on, or so I would delude, did he not project himself elsewhere, always otherwise, this going on about what is lost, strangely the same people who solely appreciate what is preserved, cycles they insist to connect, we have to circulate for fear these veins in [[vain->mtantalus]]. "They're awaiting our arrival, sailors, they need the next chapter, the crypt yawns and I, only I can voice it hymn, in this hour we, we are in this together, sailors, we dream the possibles achieved in our enacting, indelible the, or, this..." Myeri.

Warped graspers rumbled downward to raspy juiceds. Trestles dirk mazy shadestreams, pins to prevent the runny. Ripfang foists jerked sandbars above slag to joists hoisting flags of forgots we fumbletore, displacements without replacements. Inky intestines pumped [[umbral->mumbral]] glossy, encephalus [[tantalus->mtantalus]] tumorous palpitated penumbral dross into my throatchoked with bramble, sockets accidentally swallowed eyes, acidpit see, sieve the seethe, produce permanence of growing liddeds of scar tissue, cataract clean. Jade injects mobbed a moss strangler. "We can never retreat from terminus but must reverse it into new inhabitance, return to our proscriptor the ungrooving to stylus, grasp on, lift up into space never circumscribed for you, as we have not, we, have we not, we who progress to, to the..." Myeri.

Must make so of this sagging a sureness, endure into pureness from this ripple rubble fen, exact of this exist an exact, [[performer->mtantalus]] per form former, perfume of [[funereality->mumbral]]. "Progress on sailors, you must, ehnth, keep up the, march up towards the, don't you see our forebears awaiting us, what shall we say to them if we don't, if the, and the Submergence, our name, our hallowed..." Myeri.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XIV''] --- [[Sleep->msleep2]] comes not for the [[foregone->mforegone]]. Sleep, the closet death closing the yawning fact. Perched in my body watching it trundle below to gone. Rest without the unyielding void, accessible death, but I must live its negative and feel, awake to the tax of dawnsyncrasies, [[cyclical->mcyclical]] styminess. Troubles canticles, tongueless lullabies, deaf to their weaving cannot I dive to their meld, their mend, instead bled by [[moods->mmoods]] brimming with superwakeful fire. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Sleep lies skindeep on me, beds brush it off. Stare inhuman at alien midnight occlusion when with too much simulacra life I blear vigilant, more silent than the void interregnum, a shape wrested unmalleated from misshaped clay on roaming nothing gray beneath onyx glistens, glossdot zephyr trails braiding stellar hedrons to my touch constancy kept awake as the world sleeps, I bide while the world sleeps, I am their dreamless. Hollowing certainties. [[Hourblacks->mhourblacks]] seep into my restless shifting to a nocturne figure in the sways praising the sowhere trickle trusts this lone moonstone seep, no sleep, tinnitus drone of restless, hurdygurdy grinding whine drilling the stagebony on which dancer [[phantoms->mphantoms]] paralune in tune with the ludic jitter killers cull to composition this of for an audience this tragedy as containment enacted trills everything is permissible in the invisible this darkness is a canvas for. Stalk into the silent acquiesce aurora these ink struggles on perturb pages, shivers singers faster slung my pace to sweat out the blanket lingers, too large pupils hawkish studying a bleak nothing, emaciated will welling tears not beckoning the approach of some oblivion, there is no cease; sighs form a funereal cloud, but there is no rest in these vulsh blooms; warring geists pollute the soul with anguish logics, chase the circle for its fray.

Petals strewn wheeling fractals, bodies wet [[emergences->memergences]] from the field, spurned me hence, I the [[unreduced->munreduced]], the outlier their modular beauty miss, misstep. Begging back their stolen wings moonlight sliver crescents dented by my peculiarity ruptured this normality's mockery; sigh your pain, hide it under shame clods, the moods which do not assail me to straighten to face it, do not hue surroundings softly molten with grime genesis, surroundings as impulse, strangulated thus to what ensues nondissimilar from peace, but I slip the stable, emerge the fragile, the fever never nonreal relinquished me to ancient halls' archless tresses of faded cedars rippleflowing projections of winesplashed light shades weakly through the stainscored windows shimmering doom stars on half whispered sounds slipped out unnoticed from the mouths of those who worshiped now at the altar of long since dusty enacting on our corolla nature antithesis to this dreadnaught dreamless, or so I, so I kiss in this cryptych of denied secrets and sacred credence, a shivering mass of quivering lips. Lie under the verses of fleeting basalt fragments jutting from stable earth into the behemoth rise, rockfalls hurtling halo silhouettes, steps pummel titan drums. Glaze into this coloring glass and let yourself sigh. You are awake as everyone else sleeps.

Shadow tuft presses my chest like a stone. Squat shacks worming from brother rots crackled woodcases were, beam marrow fleshless with one end still upholding the pattern once constituted, shape pride lost. Smooth strum melancholy cools through boots, consumption vessel receiving its dues with decades patience. There stood an oak alone. Stoneroot sentinel of memory mists: beneath sat Meluoi, [[haunted->mhaunted]]. "Surfaces battered by both depths' storms." Iris the fountain plume, she studies our internal distance, dream this instead would I wonder would right me to rest. Pressed on her temple and all so holy within her wrist on her chin raised so we both could find home in the uplifting in which she shut her eyes so as not to sully blood's chilled beauty with a world too turpentine torpor to flow in veins thinly threading our secret hearts overfilled bursts mine to outcry to bask in her mystery where let still this spilled island. "You can't sleep?" Did I ask this or did it echo from far left? "One sleeps only on the land before, never on the voyage to. There's too much other than sleep in a voyage. We must exhaust our bodies in vigilant living to seek our temple [[graves->mgraven]]." "Myeri," my breath froze. "Not just," body [[antiyawn->mamethyst]]. "Other bulks move about us, so must we anticipate the pounce."

Grin builds inside your chin to meet the heating nightsoak, sweat tremulous saint approaching their agony delirious with exorgasm, supine upon the archwold I wore the trickling below [[luminous->mamethyst]] her dance upon spheres, intangible hereness she wields sans welded into space, rippler of hypersurfaces neon reflectrain streaming over skin to screen. "Amounting refusal to assume assembles this energized we charge devise grip upon what sparkseethes the grid as burns through your body the bearing to embode, culminator [[restricture->mgraven]] to semblance order replicator, selving surge, whom do you design?" Meluoi teases the plum plush to swirls around her tongue. I reduce to blend in her assign star blessed, yes, precious pulverized, cuddled into her starsear: "Aggregator eras break upon this gate, [[finality->mhaunted]] beyond currentsy, outer rims of the real: shall we seiche beyond local maxima to quantum of axiom quintessence? Emnino, of whom are we this imprisoned? Can not we exanimator newforms rescatters to spiral universals doubling strands, shores anew?"

Febrile focus sucked the spirit's fraying into the shadow of the sought glass which sunk me thrust me anent her semioutline slipcasing to leviathan. Two eyes behind mine glacially emerged to see behind. On the flushed earth [[shades->mamethyst]] halos the slightly tingling voice like four, eight directions' diorama splayed. "Death instills as much as it steals. What happened, is happening, heavies, heaves us to some blisterbeaten hold, we must hold, hold onto our heavy purpose to insist, insist why we are here and who we are, can be, can you believe it, we still can be, ought to, there is, must be, within, more." Meluoi. Amber kindled to a low glow ruby her color sights glassed the cobalt shivers I shielded myself with to remain closed to everything. I needed some sort of key to say to solve my own shibboleth. If I let her break into me, no, unthinkable, but in the muted blownout hollow we rebounded like white noise within bassdroned the complication diluting the one pole relationship I could be comfortable of any together in as the expectation pressed me dangerously close to being real; I have to be the vowelled without all the preceding, yet in the way her neck extended from blanting shoulders said it to me, commitment fact, if you want to truly change, then fasten to this flux, this brought out what all my abstractions suppressed: elective extempore. Still a chill stopped the freeing feeling: rising again to meet her in this midnight realm we were alone in I had to justify myself in some way which as a [[manbeast->mhaunted]] soulfilth, no, no, body turpentine where, terrorwant repentense repulson censored without igniting this candelabra to pour putrid scarlet on the scene. I, ghoul – Nothing is worth living but the minute mere, never the austere, of you in authentically. Behind the spotlight you, the exceptional you rhapsodized and maligned by the peering amalgamators, is the deeply unexceptional you who seeks warmth, snuggles into pleasures, abides between, yearns for empty fulfillers, the who who is behind the sense of who is the you you must live to satiate the gnawing need the exceptional you generates to span the gulf between being ideal and ideal being. Except me, excruciate, but break free from the chain that sinks this spine to say this throat is no prison but the between peaks threading gales, surge out from your ribs to the carmine rain on a marscape sin. Die in the fire you soon queen of the question, chill the chiaroscuro your [[ashmarks->mgraven]] make from body paints, phoenix surge. No surpassing but surrender to a surpassing surfeits the actioning of if I was going to be here, then I had to be that, here. Suppress these phantoms in other consciousness. She is the here you are standing in: breathe it, believe it. There has to be a way to try.

"Is it only me inexpressible in the wrong these whispers wind? This night seems already a memory recalled to great sadness. I am stuck inside inside, do you know, you shiver so." Meluoi. "All I am is this." "No, never say, we are, we must, ah Emnino, what I fear most of us is you will trust me, will not traverse me, when I am a place that wants to show you the world. I fear, but don't we all, isn't that the point, and these translations, sometimes I can barely stand them they're so beneath the expression I silence when I speak, and maybe it's the language, or so it must be mostly, these poems are so horrendously [[coarse->mhaunted]] compared to the graceful idea I cannot speak, there is a dream I relate to you by heatless embers, but how much is me, my failure to let it be, my crime, no, don't say, I am so much more fallen than the features you entrust in your own pits, so this purpose, our journey, we must, no but I must also allow you to flow with it, Vejame, what –" "Veja, mecz?" "No but, no, no, not cz, me. It's different. The –" "What?" "It's a compression of the jaw: mmnn. Do you see?" "Mmnn." "Yes, good. Vejame, say it." "Vejame." "Yes, there you go, the flow I have not perverted with me, deeper than what have I corrupted. In language new we wanderers at wayshrines praying awake our gaps pearlized in the node golem words our wrought to wuwei mode to be unchosen spoken simply as it is and is, avatars of the wieldless multiplicity. Synonyms fissures we traverse the collapse of directrix by dimensional revolving. Multiply determinative harmonizes gem transitives, out from our manifold to a confluence arrive. Say what you mean, no, what you mean become. Intotalities binds express nonselfcontainment wholeness. Abandoned in the [[aftermath->mgraven]] of riotous say, the edgetinged glare anoints us sole survivors, speak your most alones, legends of the war within. We utter an unspeakable colossus of meaning which cannot be distilled, units constitutive of an ultimate subsumed. Whenever I wring from the inert mud a shambler, do you hear the depths it attests in its failing to conform to the surface motions? Below us bides more than either of us could ever recognize, will ever live out, could hope to bring into our embrace. In translation I have decided for you what shall pump through you just as in speaking you have decided what must come into existence from the unspeakable anything: already arisen, borne by intervening understanding, what we gape at is our irreversibility. Crescent [[colors->mamethyst]] of our looming eternal eclipse."

"Everything I want to say is lost, which so why I must speak," Meluoi sighed not to me and to me and beyond us both. "I can only imagine the same feeling summoned the lost voices I excavate to your beautiful presentality, but I have smothered those voices as much as my own smothers my lack... you want the final Koa, Emnino, but I cannot bring it out of me, and worse, I don't even want to, the whole thing feels crude and irrelevant in the midst of these shifting terrors, but what else can I tell you? My energy is spent in this now. I have neither the time nor the will to bring you anything better, but the resignation breeds a contempt which sweats the sleep from me, makes me wideeyed in indifferentiation from the quelled against which my whole spirit seeks to spark... I hate how ponderous, pathetic, rigorously dull these false sparks are, and is it my doing, whose else would it be, it must be me, I must have failed, but yet you come back, why, why? When the story ceases in me, what remains of us? You might follow me, but I never asked for that, it would do neither of us a service. What star is it that leads you?" "I, I don't know." "Nor do I, which is what entices me further into the fertile doubt. Animated by theses ghosts, can we not harrow their interstices we semblance suffocate? Courage to you, Yamicz, you must in this new way of worlding ghost alike the going. Only when scarred you arise onto the bank outside the both of you can you say the word truly woven. Pull yourself from ourselves, Emnino, undergo the Senenzu so you can be the resurface. When I speak to you, listen! What do you hear?" Fallen leaves framed she geodesces our maladies. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Daylight in dreams attenuates to [[sepia->msepia]] In the splash struggle to awake rezinnia Phantasmal borderlands between close and open, [[Membrane->mmembrane]] memories labyrinthine [[dizzy->mdizzy]] the center lens' Theme abraxases exodus unto helix nocturnes Gravitaional spiraling into heavier waves coloring [[Expectant->mexpectant]] through the surface process..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Presence pregnancy planing the suppress by Atmospheres a frozen washing world wail ill slick with [[Rupture->mabattoir]] bends of obliterated dreaming [[drillraze->mexpectant]] These blank slunk walls wet with dissolves Of frantic glances and desperation trances Thread together by dust [[austerity->mmantle]] to V colliders whispers wreathing the coughs outringing With reeds [[wheezing->mwheezing]] above our heads fumes, Worsted ringlet graying welter chromes of Sighs espousing, matrimony of the melted In the blanket fever cold a breath strangled to drone, Rock into ruin's rush infected, soaked in the listless..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Cruelly quotidian the [[theocracy->mmantle]] of mumble toil Clockwork errants buzz the circuits discircumstance, Memories of melody delusions faulting Unto ghouls moaning their slogging like passions passing, Woundmouths mutter incurables [[blistered->mmembrane]] and agonized, Slanted in migraines clutching chest's raw concussives Scrabble we annihilation to haggard upon mockery Course recitation in isosceles revolving vault recantings, Recitations droll delightless headache sines as we Batter a butcher his world, barkeep unto his own speakeasy, Glee bulge burst upon one coin's tink he whispers drippy secrets Of mudbrick mansion gravities, powers [[curdled->msepia]] under the sun, The loom where pale elites weep their looms strange and scented To mauve elixirs flushing consciousness stains, [[Abattoir->mabattoir]] of the freshly haunted putrid purling into The mazy musty [[smother->mwheezing]], slums secreting sopwise..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Over clumps warping us to clutchcrawls on bloated Tetrahedral tumors dizzy [[nauseous->mwheezing]] lurched we From cellar to slavesells seeking the next splunk of know Or imagine so, through chorus glooms we gather unto the Mirage of a casino crouching with [[gorestained->mabattoir]] hands Over the banks of bone dried to spits Master molter slurping swollen stares lidless, reptilian, Beating the drums that dress these veins with fire, Razing ligaments to bloodlet the lapis [[membrane->mmembrane]] To drown out the fountain inscrutables Merging in bleary plush to rich cerise Beneath the [[sunkenness->mmantle]] sky as a swath of lilies Wilting in the warmth moanly aural Auraing impossibly auroral minarets lurid in Invoken yawning ocher mammonliths sucking Curled squalor diorama of streetlamps Lower jaunticed beside the path we straystrike Nightshades nearly, husking clearly in sunblasts Turgid to our brackish malice sludge lash Darkly towards sibilating city centers With lava wisps our guides..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Learning the leanings of webbed backalleys, Veins clotted by rusted corrugated blockages Choking the valves pumping [[aortic->mwheezing]] curates in sallow hoods Their holy siphonings, waste repressives willessly resolved In garrison speckles like silica in the sandstone, Some starkness fortress against the liquid blurlure Teasing midnevers shiftslip swift as thieves Imitate we across the orange cracking, Over plaster promisebrokens tiling the beaten road to ruin, Boscage of remnants and nihil whose briar hacks The thickening of the blackened lung king [[Mantle->mmantle]] of ash [[rosettes->mabattoir]] in smokestack spirals spewing Sealant against the seraphic farsight observe, Sphere without obverse object of his project Mottling a slag heap with solid smog which Clack cake the pylons dullidescent thrust from metal tangles Gnarling the creaky horizon girder parapetting Gaudy palace plumes in pseudogem respondlence papery Doming gypsum escarpments bent unnaturally upwards, Inselberg redoubt upending the dribble gravel despoil, Hazy lank upon the clunk a blister gray hunk..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Demon [[altar->menshrinement]] bathed in velvety [[blood->mblood]] mortalia, Empty echoes these walls voice ghostly in shame shimmers Tumescentous, blanket ruin risings clumped in clouds Until ambush torrents flood the unspecting with Precipitated gangrenous consequent defined gangling Gallows of lowering into the own broken, Crashing seracs into the moonsea mystery, Nilas serene the tempests we objectivizes contrail to form, Sublimating into the mists coagulate we concentrate transforms, Concatenate intralorns worldbred as success ordains the monstrous Its amounted undeniably, no matter how much is there negated, Our null hypothesis we investigate in ripping From a porter's lungs his traced plague, Sharpening footfalls urge a danger walloping as snares, So we slip into the unsaid in his soaked panic Into the vents by which he breathed them, Falling to the floor a forever wrested into counteraware, Clothes collapsing a butterfly alighting brightly hued Upon the ichor flower of our emergent malice, Drooping poisons we perfume up flights and ever more flights, Slung aclatter up rungs to never widening to wordeds, Harshs replete in grunts of the already too much choked to choke On brownish powdery particulates lining our lungs As we gasp and hack the stifle, The progressed to congested grossness thick Upon the interiorization intensification avalanche bile burying Cardiacs, the crimson capitol of the shadow government Gods legitimize in violet pulses fever fueling Limpid neutralities soft beyond the soak of culled creation..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Gravities of the genome nomen arc inspectra numenal As gluttony, desire animator, Envy, empty seethe queen of shatter frieze, Wrath wrack in spittle laurels feted triumphant, Lust lusheling the firebrand annihilator, Pride in it is arrayed regal to solace of the cyclone, Sloth so asleep beneath the massacre, To this very greed, this idol prince of bendable truths Mixed dissolves replenishing our ruths as Vanquished meaning trawls much less than solves as Rungs repelled us upwards deeper into Hell, this hell that hides, This mark upon it we seek our cosmic screen, Through the orange light upon it Baron Silhouettes of [[devils->menshrinement]] crowned bleak with mirrors Made magnificent in the gloom as guilt as gild Unto our undo a unity tiara of the newly nonpossible though Echoes bell the [[kiss->mblood]] of void and earth as Soul surpassing rushes selves to soldier Sentences: eschew this solid sense, you Petal blushes, fuchsia flush voluptuous these Foundered waves reflect in sling celestes of Stars entombed in perceptions azure blinking warps, Shaking sleep of ancient suns, luminous once real Slushed silent in white foam of woad hued waterfalls Crying out crystalline completion, consecration of breath Beating the gravitational assumptive grander death erasure contains, Beauty of the beyond you, bless ice as silence fumes the wreckage, Negatives ashen to whispers diluting figments fleet as daylight storms, Each night less capable of day, Each disintent lesionly culpable of the endlessly stray, Pulses' vehemence we ache with wanting..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Struggling up rungs to the Baron chase Shivers the scene to wring us so pliable a neck, Pursuance reanimate, bring me into the sharpness Please, do not abandon me my daughter agony, Chill is all I feel as yours, as I am yours, As what we share feigns the [[blood->mblood]] rush vibrance Vehement against the inkwells spilling floors Sceneless, seamless masquerade of blurloom shrouds Silken silver moonlike rippling in glaze, Urn inuring this ash to interpolacache, Meld scent with skeleton effusions, These figures undulating slanted like pallid wheels Of futile's phaeton askewing to round and round the race In sorrows sprawled on mattress soots in hopeless cells, Menagerie variorum of vented to ununmelters Of drinkers, slinkers, slavers, and ravers, Murmur moths mummies on squalid gleer, Revulsed convulsed we over pulpy masses, Cavelike cowls of pupils, pupae smothers, Dispensation isolation [[enshrinement->menshrinement]] in garbage rites I rinkle into in hate in shivers knowing Where these endemics sanctify solidified a Baron, Parasite of the evanescence mourning arias, Butcher of burdened bleeders scraping bony chalk Their testaments condemning as a Should it ever be sung bleak sonata of the rising Arising to our tongues this curse of his hour harnessed Despair of the forever unfreefall I dream trace to the bones of my daughter, who I dream where..."]

Jumpcuts brutalize cycles of scenes never to cease, impression after impression pressed into your eyesockets nauseous rolling [[miasmatic->mfever]] futures forever punch present, reeling after those who could not brand their apparitives in frayflush, figures stripped of silhouette: Lomia, Tyese, Mojyi, and [[gubbling->msharpless]] through chokes starry whisperer, he who signs the sterile mise...

Hot fuzz moment of is this happening to you. Thrown to the hardness connects you and a real point, body believes in a smash a sure. Soft pinks low opacity over pale neon replica the simulation of happening in another's viewed from forgetting angles gneiss ribboning the reliquary isolanguish to press us into intensified mimicry to gawp the outpoured outside act exceedingly swift as the energy flashes the warmth passing through skin's rivers to flush you into the scene already in a taste, a thought, gone, even the chance to grasp that gone. Enigmatic, the [[incidental->mincidental]]: pervasive, tied to the actual action, nowhere, already over, do you even remember? Imeni lounged against the liquid sky recalling fragments to me. Sea wet with sun, prisms in our strong colors. She spoke, I listened, laughed; I spoke, she listened, laughed. Nepenthic bliss worth the unmemory. Together sounds whispering open our seams. Out of the blitzglamor lunule whiteglaze frostwink eyelashing sparkles ocean arises a glitch goliath who howls the lasting. Posthumous, I lingered in the shadow. We bleed out life to voracious splatterblanks and nothing catches us: what we were ensealing post rem mesessences. Memory makes of our futures merely the same. The future is the past the present misremembers, trapped, trapped... I want to live in the forever brief ideal of tossed glass whose sparkles, for one emotive infinite immediate, plashes, not portends, but you cannot with another person, we follow the arc to our shards. Cannot we dream together beyond the shared night's faux unified, so sever, remain permanently isolated, maybe there might you taste purity's lake wash, but I have not, I have hurt. [[Hurting->mhurting]] teaches you you as you are surprised to learn and should not be.

Removal of truth each actualization that trues, [[irretrievable->mhaunted]] information loss in brutal actual. Disaster is always imminent, disaster is what immanence is. Mistakes froth your each wade, misgivings ripple in retrograde. Oppositive torque tumors the bends bubbling in my chest heaving peregrinations of letheless bloodshed. In this scar is more than burned flesh. Single crystal growing, the soul in searching bloom. Endless duties to fellow flesh, true devotion exists beyond the passion, the threatened push, the edge. Hallowed the echoing return, since our voice sounds the same from the same distance, moral honesty is a cadence, not a second, not a seclusion. Outside any cynic tongues is the will to be alive, and the wish to be aligned along that alive, and in the craters of my failures will I construct counterconstellations to respontaneous to the stars the sheer destructive anguish blistering the irruption their nonstabilization erupts, blemished but enduring the pure scream upon this scorched starfield warps these constrictions to a construction in which to joyfully die tormented. To whatever hovers impartially judging I carve my chest your designs and fling out the red matter to meteor upon sacred hollows. Batter us apart, the desperate cling together. Rapacious binds sunder our ultimate gulf, the rift that renders thoughts turgid in the flipped physics of an inlooker outward forces us to fathom each other's fullness in all our hideous immediacy, immeasurable conflict temporarily resolved to show in one splitsecond splatter the supraveinity despair distinct to one outcry to god. Value is not given but presentiment, the absolute crux of my being lies inlaid in the [[jewels->mamethyst]] of several people's perception, I am ontically empty beyond the howling urgency that bends in recoil from the fated utterance recurrence dragging the actual everything invested in a nominal surface entirety into the same stained glass names. My bones are nothing for it is my splintering soul that supports these veins. Be the blade you wish to wield. Smother the filthy actual living monstrosity, then, suffocated, you can start anew in corpsecold gooseflesh. Parasite crawling from the [[graven->mgraven]], which use of existence this insistence achieves a point? Because is it not the dullness despair? Insipidity of natural drives drives us to inscribe new drives supernaturating. Reduction of harm in innate, please, is some possible, or what is it I really want from projectable, or is desire misnomer or misnomen? I just want to feel like a person without all this first.

Either we awake in gore or the gore awakes in us, and when restraint should buckle to my nature would I roar revel desecration, firebranded annihilator: the rest would be ripples. Of course she perceived it in me, I hated being known, but how would I love to throw all my known away, say it is not from me, the real me, whatever of me I will own, lies undiscovered. To want beyond your brittle limits thorns those on whom your thirsts lunge. No, that's purposely too harsh. To want someone is suppression and therefore not virtue. Never want someone. Never want anything. No, that's purposely too harsh. Why this perverse desire to feel worse, how much regret piles up to [[penance->mhaunted]], when can I stop embracing the waste? Is it selfishness, even in wriggling shame is there the desire to be seen, empathized, the touch more comforting the further down you can coax it, no, gods, stop! It's not, I, you don't understand! How can you even be me when you understand me so little? No, precisely because I know you do I resent you, how you blanket your guilt warm for sleep. So what then? What then, and why, and why... it's all a mess, there's no reason for anything, I'm sorry, someone stab me, grab my tongue, rip it out, hang me with it, hang me! Dodging guilt with pain? Selfhate's the easy way to transfigure shame to pity, loathing to cuteness, sheer emptiness to a space needing to be filled. Oh poor me, I am so evil, hate me, abjure me, oh but let me be obliterated in the center of the crowd, let them aww collectively as my guts flush out. To the extent anything other than wordless selfhatred, abuser, drinker of weakers for what you lack. But then what am I supposed to do, not think? Yes. Nobody cares. Nobody even cares that nobody cares, and nobody cares that you realize that nobody cares that nobody cares, nobody will ever be connected with – No, just, stop. You shut up. I am miserable about being a bad person and – Ahaha oh gods that is literally the stupidest thing I have heard since whatever else I said earlier. It's all wrong, anything I say, you sound so, so, oh gods I hate how you sound, I hate your worthless words and the way they knot and ball and go round and round and round and for what purpose do they go round and round, why do you want your filth to foam? Your voice is like if you could imagine cockroaches could speak. You are a little cockroach, you know that, you know why, you know how true. Why don't you just accept that you're wrong and correct it by wasting away silently in service to anything that could make use of you? No, I'm just, but I am, I'm trying to reason out some conclusion, notice the flaws to draw out my own damnation in anything akin to justice which this putrid universe could contain. Isn't that – But in noticing you include yourself out, you become the moral apprehension horrified by the now [[disembodied->mgraven]] you that shambles disassociated a bleak misery. Noticing is not the same as owning. I am owning, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. It's not easy, it's not like you can just own that you are, not have been, but are ontically and progressively wrong, both in nature and in distension. What are you to do after having lived long enough to know you're not one of the few who should? That is, that isn't meaningless, what are you to do that isn't... and so I will kill my own source, let me seek my gravetwin. Maybe that isn't the best answer, but it is an answer, isn't it, it is a way to... there was, is so much within that wilted on the vine: a romantic, if naive, trust in goodness as grandeur; a strange and beautiful sense of humor; a nurturing kindness and care, all of it could have been me, I feel their corpses crawl into my mind sometimes still, but this moth batting endlessly about this plague lamp, well... ah Kaiya, when you called me a dust [[perfectionist->mamethyst]], you... cold and insignificant the sky seems contemptible...

Alone in the graveyard is she expectant. Iron gray crypts tilted into arches taloned by gargoyles perched for the plunge. An inhuman chill shivered those not under soil blankets. Decay roamed growling over its prey. "We've come beyond the bounds of living," Meluoi did not look up. "What force shall sustain us?" I stepped towards where she was staring, emanations of suicide. Vasya threw Meluoi against a wall. "What the hell was that, Veda?" Leiska. "Could have killed us right then aye, being killed we're! This is a suicide mission lah. You're throwing away our lives for this stupid tour." "This is a profitable mission for which you willingly signed," Meluoi, evenly. "Surely you knew the risks when you accepted. Perhaps were you naive?" "For which Captain Myeri signed, you mean. Any deal you signed with him is with him, but I, we've been dragged into this –" "By whom? You knew what this voyage was, yet you –" "This voyage was to, there's the lie ah, we're to take you to the Submergence, but that's not our done, so you've lied to us, taken us up this, this, for no reason, to –" "If lies oppress you, they are not from my mouth. I told your Captain all the details when we enjoined. Any information he withheld from you is –" "This was never about ascending Kapinya's, was supposed to be a simple mission about the Submergence, a single –" "It was always about ascending Kapinya's Tower! The Tower has to be ascended first, it's the only way!" "To what? Why? Why do we have to ascend this Tower? What are you holding from us?" "I, well I have no need to, it's, I can't say, it's not your business to –" "Fjelske, Veda, is exactly my business, is nothing between us but business and hate. Whatever venoms Myeri sucked from you, I will not swallow. I will not play your games. Either you tell me what we're doing here, or we'll –" "Or what? You'll cancel the ascent? That will ruin your name, I'll make sure of it! I'll take you to the Myemi –" "The Myemi! Go ahead. Cry out your anachronisms." "Look, I... isn't the money enough? What more drives you? The split was already lucrative before the voyage, and now, with the reduced numbers –" "Reduced numbers! You callous dyenne! Those are lives you're talking about, real –" "Then respect their memory by letting this voyage go through. You heard what your Captain said. This is a chance for their greatness to be immortalized, to have their names –" "Keep your lies in mouths you posit on others, Veda. Nobody cares even half of a quarter of nothing at all if we get to the Submergence or not. Captain Myeri had no idea what he yanked us into, his fate shows that. Starstruck by a Veda, the only group more out of touch and isolated than he, so he signed into your slavery without asking proper questions, but believe me, you barren heart, I will not make his mistake, because I know you treat us like dispensable tools, you illusion us this shiny to lure us like infants to the mashing, and I want to know why, what for. I will not be tricked. Either you tell me right now why we're climbing this Tower, what you're really getting by this, or I'll throw you out of it myself." "You insult my honor, Lieutenant, and after all, we're doing this for you... if your cowardice is greater than what I can entice with presents, then flee, we need no one but those who are willing to fight, who still have some sense of what this life lacks to so drink from death." "You're dodging the question! Answer me. What is the purpose of your ascent?" "I... you wouldn't understand! You just wouldn't. You have not the expansive in which whispers echo. Even by demanding it like this, in this way, without any preface, you have failed the first test. I will not tolerate your –" Volya, with a nod from Leiska, slapped Meluoi, plastered into a daze spluttering. Berakh grabbed Volya from behind and slammed his face into the wall. Volya dropped in a hail of chipped teeth. Leiska, startled, stepped back, but Berakh in single strike elegance shocked him to a spittle fall. Gyadalta charged forward, but Berakh drew a scimitar. Gyadalta hesitated, looked at Pyeisa who was, chagrined, watching Leiska sprawl. Vasya quietly lifted Volya to his feet. Meluoi dusted her shoulder. She cricked her neck. "Flight thence, cowards, drink your shallows, I won't stop you. Anyone who wants to brave the descent to continue with petty poverties, do so, you are not needed. The Seleph and I are making this ascent, and whoever wants to come and be paid can follow along, otherwise, otherwise, if you're so pathetic that you'd rather risk those monsters below us and all the trials we've already faced rather than endure your destiny, then I wish you'd leave and spare us your" caustically at Leiska: "pusillanimity." Leiska grated with rage, but for a long while there teased no movement, no words, nothing. Finally Leiska got to his feet and with an acid stare flourished past. Meluoi slipped a victorious smile as we began to march again. In this night Meluoi seemed still wounded, not by the slap, but by a memory it had dislodged into her consciousness. "There is in me felt a fear I cannot yet pen, which drives me once more to reservoirs of poets, their doubts eternal beautiful; ah, Yamicz, we are kinned by our isolations! You are swimming in the wake of the gods, I feel, I sense it. Vejame di kyoli enakasli: you move, Emnino, you move. You are starting to understand why your Lieutenant does not frighten me. You are understanding motion. Currents transmute our troubles to flow. You are soaked in destiny: submerge. You are already not what you were, soon you shall be what you are not now. Humans are winged spirits coursing free in full becoming. Can you hear it, Emnino? Can you hear our, listen! (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Tea of seams I sip upon the [[obelisk->mobelisk]] Acolyte of acidities and melds, Teeming below relic glistens to [[obeisance->mobeisance]], Percolating religions of bends Revere severe sages espouse to ghostly [[Permutating->mpermutating]] incision of beneviolence Sanguine gilding this line to verse, Lidded sealer from which holy dew deluges Sanctified exception expulser to verity…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Shall tonight my knife in arcs your cinders Obelisk upon a proper graving Paint wild this smolder burgundy consuming a Stage your proud refrain to elemental [[geysers->mgeysers]], Mana inculcates writ with migraine runes atomic Bearing [[plague->mplague]] distortions, the psyche queen volcanic This Baron usurp surpends in brutal the belongs That disceremony in shrieks the unanointed..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Neither vengeance nor justice but a bloodkiss compels me Unto the Baron, whitemaw demon star secured, Raven prince of tortured hush, the halt in empty, Through deluge lugubria of surrender and rendition [[Cavalcades->mcavalcades]] unrelenting your circlet stones, Dull intones of the [[queasy->mqueasy]] calm of postbattlefield Long I erasure entire in melted gyre gemenous Mistars resyzygy her rainbow beacon as prisms quiver Her bonewritten nondispelance beampiercing These all inclusive tars to terraform Futurities I must furrow in fallows, Taste of a tremulous possible her grace gives this wasteland..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Withering vines of drylands heat drooped to pooled Shrieks shades in whose congeal counts forth The scything hour that slinks in this [[sickly->mdeforming]] Rising plague perfect amidst the filth Like wolves skulking padded paws Light like baby limbs crawling in a creaking cradle On paths branching knotted into hollow divergences Half whispering through bared teeth welcomes..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Mutedusk breezelusts lurklisting through slack Velds bulbless blacks bleeding to vault floodeds Unleashed upon the dammed land in nonsense torrents Trundling the uncoming calamitous through labyrinthine Afroths of fever venoms sable, viper leer alien Uncanniness ensorcels gloom repose on dollike limpness Sagging imprints on dust mosaics overcrusting Layers thick with monochrome neglects Varnished by grotesques gel animates in sloppy splurs [[Deforming->mdeforming]] contorting swell obliviates Strings swell sweltering gulf welters torn horizons straddle..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Squalls polysemous skull polyphonies Pulsive mull the mosaic semisenses tones Overloaded with delving moans of Soaking seafreezes sweatspuming awakened Krakenous krakatoas skyblacks counterblister Burning upheaval reversion convergence Of bloodfire of depthless, the fathomless undreaming All a pantomime of dendrite structures Branched from genesis abysms scoring Vast the sin that starts our synphonies, A godness gapeous gnashed of light that glunts The demise vibrato brimslash lack recededs Lurking the high tide heartbeat Thumping baron after baron a [[malevolence->mdeforming]] Prevalence that evaporates the world..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Coalescing grotto slimeshine studded Shadowing the weight behind a thought which Drips on dreams disease bileswole pneumoniac gloomchill Chandelier tears which whispers mouthless sneer Nobody nestlers, ribcage crushed cathedrals, Citadel subsummates of oneiric nulls, Fear fomented nova froth heavy metals scaldeds Space illusorties illuminate lustshade lampshade Tilted mauves emphrenzy force of Angular annihilnunciation, arc of ongoes from closeds, Vantage points vanquish clots [[vaultslosh->mdeforming]] of slushsense perspectives..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Question hung the dizzy in states unsaid In microshakes of this bust before me, Chiseled of chi selenes we do not do deserve, Auburn semifallen pompadour in bristles roaming Aimlessly to wayward stubbles overmossing Tics convulsing the bulging compression pressure [[Disequalized->mdisequalized]] into this dire we espy his grimace aligned, Machines Baron sealing our world's seams, Finity defiling our hazy faces glisten gnashes, Sliced consciousness [[bloodsensuous->mbloodsensuous]] to desire, Efficacy raws pseudonightmare pale Processioning pairing tangibiles fluttering Concentric fever figures pumped to drives drains reality rends Hour actualities that pain descendates us Mandates mutual intensities to a [[mandala->mmandala]] of Dancers whirling to suddenly matched as the music maelstroms stare, Pale mutters he heatless a request I speak of death, Succor his loam sweet release to growth beyonds..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Bides your wake the cease, salvation slumber, Simmer your [[murder->mmurder]] to moment as Ire thrills your blood caprice, bonesaw angel, Wreak your arrow of love, gnash harsh your passion cancer Midnight id, missive bared to the darkly roar, Can I not not can I cannot I reply, I falter, choke, Incharred upon my lovely daughter gone, Lilli strewn amidst debris a corpse rebuke Of this incompacity, this poise paucity, Dessistroys these actionable gore blesses Your memory wreaths my wreckage, Anoint myself saint of your sanctity in Baron's blood, lunar mare of veleine lests elossive In cause, drain designs, pure imbuing, This knife my spirit's signaturifier, Yes, too long have I waited your wounds To dance as this unslakeable suggests, Religion of your slayable drinkable elixir In which to anoint sepulcher of her who hymns, Yet so skeletal a sacrifice, can it be he who here I have chased in my furious desire, Where is your regalia to damnation, Wickedly he grins deeper than his chin can hold, Pride, you say, demarcates my domain, Whither shall I vase it, where can I retain my same In entropic totality we assumptive name, My crown you observe, the wreck I zealot wield, Blizzard heresy against the daylight blaze, Chill sepulchers sunk in brimstone worlds of sulfur seethes, Pride has abandoned me to stall within bodies, My inheritance I reap in this trove elosion, Bloodthirst cullgod of cattle glut with massacre glees I surrender to discerned raw a stone to finality The beast outbreaking the bruise extravagance reductive greed We convene in our mutual murder yearn, Desire annihilator resuspire cults we carve of our hearts Dregs we suck to stand before ourselves us, Vivid dross to the butterfly glisten, Glisten trail of slime regret our lethe lengths, Sunbaked crags crackling through the misty murmurs Islets to sink soundless before the speechless sun, Chanting symbol charms invoking gods whose hymns We vacuous votive culminate null natal, Genesis guilt that agonizes our need to rip From the earth immure, impure mire Quake to quell the quaver music spirits Dirge across our solid sleeplessness, Our wandering hushed in aerials, Dizzy skyfall sentients structured below, Whipdriven along road ataxias we collapse sublimities, That which never in the vista is viewed, Mere sheer transcendence, bulwark spirituals no being sews But bows to its vivabrato bravura vehemeants..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["You, drear defier, where lies your signet, In which embodied may I you soul void, In which palace do you reign, Show me your artistry ascendancy, ziggurat of your zealous, That this strike might vandalize its hubris honest Into emptiness and fleeting of all things, And laughs he to the sand echoing, Here do I possess the hour as it dispossesses us all, You invader too shall be reaved, so release, Linger into the daze that cages us here, We who once were winds, now wound down to wounds, Kneel breathless midst the wreck and carnage, Worship as we must, or learn as I once, Born upon the head of waters blind I Plunged and caught the current, never sinking, Never worrying the direction, now am I Washed ashore this infinite destruction, Nothing elevates my ruin, slave lie, Graceless princedom, please conduct my dying To your consumption dying, so that in you will My guilt be assigned, subsumed, resublimed Your Barren, your inheritance I melt within, Ah, bliss, buried inward, slowly less external In ravages, are not these my desiccated children My sins, none of their own authenticity ontics their shakes, I alone am their am, as you are to amend mine, Gyre historical wreaths on graves our lives deliver, As summit deaths peer from peaks a painting Hearkening its artist, and hearken, My peak crumbles before your footfall, Fatal angel, sentence my strife your composed, Emissary my disvisionary to poetry, Rise, assassin, slay this moonbeam, [[Slaughter->mmurder]] me daemon of your deriving, The Baron collapses at my feet weeping willow lash..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["You monstrous, you monolith abomination, Blaspheme phenomenal skein yawning blunderous blissful, Starfoul birthed drunken upon us demon of thirsts, Where upon this umbra derivens [[sacrifice->mmurder]] In our geming transfixed blade blossom, Incur of our loping pensive he sighs in masque Releve sobs relieve his features undignifierce, Disparaged to the room in rots and slants and shards, Puzzle glass fuzz a muzzled testament to stagnant disrepair, A feast stale to the prickly century enclosurion, Embalm embody he bore upon us wretched glaze glares Blank and lank an anankh anaerobic splunk of feel false, His heels twitch tumble him to beneath Heaves of sorries and subsumes we stagger away estranged Until in remove fully I restance move sheathed repulsed Sneering, beast, have I erred, has my path waywarded, The Baron I seek, a gremlin grin he leashesun his victim sweateds, Yours a slight resemblance bears, Tall he spools like pulled pooled doppelgangers stretched at burning noon, Yours a similar cast casts, Hate his lips contorts an outcrop marr upon alluvial facial fans, Yours trickles similar a snotty malice, But putrefaction prince engorgeous they claim his laceration leer, Where does this lurk in so crooked a jowls, Snarls what this burrowed in slouching to bide, Bark your misconnect, mongrel, squirt your principal To assume sense of self so might I bleed you deathonest, If ever you ken mankind your excision, Where above your debased resides your batterer, Who inculcates your cureless, snares you deluresional, In which hole is he hidden a cancer Metastasized replies to my affronted aphrasion gutturals Whence crawls the rasped reply, Gazer upon the remnant, shall you share our To the reaver bereaved, riven doll of our doubt, Hypostatized fundament we twingrowth tumorous, Pupae hives excreting hate's requition unrequited By the hollowing qualm linger listless spools Bloatbursts the move, the strive, our if we shall call it alive As scour we the sickness for passions that propel us Past the snares of Vyekana, grave of the lesser driven, Gold is ice to enslave the blankworship mass, Auroral election freewheeling the words wheedling past Debris fled along the design, the unlast of Penultimatum cherished nothings wasted to penury persist, Anchor chains snap in the inexorable momentum to fall, We lose touch with everything dream, Groaning organ bricabrac concavities tinny the residesound Vainglory devil invisages gore refulgence, Ah, the admittance we pretend through our muscle acquiesce The actuals that annihilate our every exhilarate..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Memories of dear Alilliana vibrant in shadow mores, Rubble litters of thoughtlesses so far from meaning, Povertous of proper awe the wellsprings unslaking, Submerging us here, confluence of ten thousand elegies, Trill mood throb thrilling the grief concerto crescendo To antagonize expression to starks, Blanks, lusterless muddles, anoxic incendilates These shapes depression jades, mist intoxicants Invoking your [[presence->mpresence]], beloved daughter, precious perfect, Never to be here reign in this never of here, Your anguish pleads this vengeance lucidity, Devotion unstrays into the blossom of the Baron abandoned, Sobs spawns the estranger revolver volta, Vituperative acidity syncopated to [[diffusion->mdiffusion]] living, Measure more vicious than murder the endure, And, unto your violence echo, I impress upon my companion, Assassins we, such must be, such is he to my tender chest, Trickle of yes, sickle of less, symbol dispossess, Surpass ursense slipping to go the anomie ullume, Luminous purpose pressurizing the arising primortual, Equilibria nouns choireographed the motion map The oceans I bleed subsume sublime consume consign To propose of the riven pose a poised en pointe in points Ploys we presume to nous, soul noose, agonysm's reproduced, Gods of the lesser welter written in our phased, Leylines our wardways aphasia horizillusive bodies bodes What the deathmarch hunts."]

Meluoi maudlin in a whisper away half to me: "To what do we go?" As if to answer: absence: presence of the eager to claim her. Envious of this vanish. If only I could see through my narrow to the fullness, then the harmony would move me also, and I would follow behind, and Meluoi would silently lead me to this assurance, the night would lift to show us together on land, protosolutions murked with assumptive bases from which to leap anew, pleasure on the path begun, immovable, doom gradually piecing itself together with artifact urhostility before the breathless victim: what was Meluoi saying, what should have I heard? Where in the words was the cure? The sins, this vicious heart, [[syllable->msyllable]] suspended in sylph emotives. Absent real, groping to swallow intractable, coloring focus, I hoped to power through my weighted collar, find myself firm and saved, savable. Could I walk, should I kneel, would I race in reverse? Who am I to thus ponder, and where is the assassin going, how can I hope to follow, who can we kill together to reclaim where is buried his daughter, where, whose where, where in where? Show me some path, Meluoi, please, unknot these ties, solve me, solve thisening, give me the face that seals these sights, entrust me to where these nights I am terrified and touched.

Somehow like we were all given to a mode we could not even as we shivered in its absolute even partially fathom we let the sounds end in where they entered, became ourselves in ourselves as a song had awoken them alien, and the joy of a feeling we never knew we could have as our own whisper tinglethrilling on a novel tongue the bitterjuicysweet desire that all along we might have felt this way when needed in the elusives of presents percussing our brittle preservations, this believe the time might come, I promise, when under the crush of past the pressure produces a smile. Meluoi was muttering for both of us our cold night reply. "Our blade love twists around the rose that grows it. This assassin asserts a truth within the heart of the world pumping in secret, this story sentience written from coagulated sentences, meanings in magnitudes, not symbols for a puzzle, which is never for itself, as if there is a thought superlative to thinking's action, but poetry's power obliquely mutates our mutters to mandelbrot millions, an orchestrated delving in the pulse of a vein not yours inside your selfish body. Do not let this poem speak to you an answer but a sound unsolved. You must understand, Yamicz, the overdetermination distills our own overbearing noises to clarity. Hear in yourself certainty emerge from the confusion seeded by this strangeness sanctified. I stress this solely as this I cannot you simply give, we teach not a place but a propulsion, so dwell in your felt or founder wooly in the unwholy, in you the distinction sabers. Antiluminous shapeless midnight mass expanding contracting in warped chill winds shot from no gale is this the meaning, what was said in every line compressed washing through the bloodtide home, seeking the answer, seeking the pain: swim to drown in the hopeless horizonless!" My tongue forked gush of halfborn words. Crying contains a measure of comfort, but not to who must by right. Each tear scorches the flesh beneath the eye. We live in the centrifuge spinning out into our vertigo swimming against the shoving air, grasping hysterically at the calm center, and life is the perpetual struggle to hang on, to not let go and be lost. Surrendering, admitting our own inability, crying out for help, from weakness as if we were ever anything else, makes peace with the wrath of the inexhaustible to embrace the pangs as a sting you can source your spring in, each tear, tremulous, quivering, wrought the expression of dismay in reassuring humanity, no more death in this corpse, the prowling along a slanted corridor to corroborate a door's existence, enough, too much, I became but sobbing in the twist to something [[else->msyllable]], but not for me, for me is the waiting through.

Levitation mists recombinate around alterity that trembles in mosaic eyeblacks ghostly. Perspecters ruminate in memory's melisma shimmer, unfinisheds funneled to codas cauterizer. Heightens that halted, severed branches redolent resplendent with halfblooms brighter for their wither, delicately [[gifts->gifts]] glamorful never to reach receiver indelibles. How do you cherish the charred? Chased the night in hopes it would reveal what days lacked, but each moonshaft shared nothing with those nostalgic. Makovah midnight meridians might errance you to peridiurns whose sacred ash could solange liqueurs deep the bitters to hecatomb commune, each of us bloodletting go, esprits intermixing, ephemerals tincture of believing and eventide. Exortation to luna asura sunnahs that structure koans to infinites apertures apotheosystemanature belunes our mystic ecstasy before figments of dreams religion, way finesse the absence to sibyl selene serene reaver. So I [[sought->msought]] her who spoke in no tones I could terrene.

Alone together our fire weakly against the seeping dusk our voices weaved as one. "I can't breathe," I. Kaiya smiled brightly. "She'll be surprised. Relax." "It's not the gift." Emerging into the bursting glare hurts, shocks that there Imeni is, seance chestnut curls, teeth solar. Buildings melt away, the streets soak to slush, and the field of view rapidly narrows, there she is, there she is! Her turn around is a hurricane. She is a person, of course, certainly, yes, yes, but not to me, to me she is also a ceremony, a sound, a fire. I have incinerated in her; [[ashes->mhaunted]] to [[ashes->mgraven]] [[augur->mamethyst]]. If you love someone so much, then how can they ever be human? "Life's too short to fear a good thing, Emnin. She loves you, ace. Run with it, bask in it. That's what joy's for, basking, for as long as we're blessed to keep it. In your hearts is happiness no one else can imagine enough of you two to imagine."

"If we, if humankind loses its music, neither sigh nor sign to convoke voice, then what is of a struggle soundless?" Meluoi. "Require we respite religion, psalms of our spite forever afresh to worship day tatters. Submergence in another subjectivity is the only release our isolated souls will receive, this where is I guide you, hold you under the surface, strain out your struggling for air, until at last you slump serene, and we embrace on both sides of a mirror, drowned in each other's airless, but I can't make you drink the depths into your own air. You must yourself choose to, to... oh Yamicz, how I struggle to drown myself, let alone you, but I must, I, somehow I have to..." Pressure dissonance cauterized the wound: I lived in her sound placeless. "I want to escape in your echo." Meluoi turned to and away from me. "Then you must be reborn. You must be renamed." My heart did not sink but found itself stuck to my heel. "Renamed?" "Yes. Name is the unit of the soul. I..." she swallowed: "I know your name is not Emnino." I winced suppressed a scream. "Saved from this heartless abandonment in the self like humanity will be in its final hour, reborn in [[blankness->mstart15]] as true, properly closed after weathering centuries in the ascension to acolytity, but, but the moment presses. We shall anoint you in the sound of yourself." Long exhale. Turned to me radiating. "Leiru is the family name? Your family, past personalized, defines the start, the orientation, but it does not follow through the arc. You have started with u, but to where are you going? What becomes you? What shall match your u? I... are you aware of the naming matrix? No? Then I must tell you. Each ending defines us, star reflections in our other's inertness, our unique combination pearls our dust. There is a title to all of these, to be interpreted each day by our days; for always we are human, even when we pass those borders. From your u, to: "A: Lone Beyond the Cliffs the Soundless. "Cz: In Time Biding the Silhouette. "E: Hymnfrost Dew. "I: Swallowed Second Yet Counting. "Kh: Simmering Mirror of Moon Mystery. "O: Stance Against the Stabilization. "Oi: Dweller in the Duskless Drought. "Me: Softly in Source. "Ph: Dancer on the Waves Gemfleet Flight Free Singing. "Sz: Endless Souldream of the Ununveiling. "U: Ascendant Seeker of the Center. "We must be ourselves before we may be anything other and more. If you trust me, do you trust me, Yamicz? You do then? I am glad to hear you say it; I often don't say it to myself. Let it not be me who names you, Yamicz, but yourself through my vessel. "We cannot take the o. Even if it once fit, it falls away now in view of your future. Much lies within you that you do not, cannot say to me... I only know what I have read these past weeks, but Gleisca volme: accordingly, thus: powers without ourselves derive our sums in secrecy. The gods, they shall purse this prophecy. I must tumble into your name outside of myself, I will find in the fall the gravity to which you belong, to which this quest of ours longs for you." She froze cruciform in the hidden ice eternity. She paints my crevasse grave as spiraling spiritual time unravels us in a transcendent progression of the stripped. "U, Emninu Leiru. Deiyanasz swa dieya vo. Yamicz. The beginning and the present that portend the end. Semuleph tiyekeni jleikh na. You have been Emninu since the start but in sleeping did not hear; wake up, wake up, it is time to arise."

Drank skins our the moonlight matte emotive [[amethyst->mamethyst]] wilderness of mute desire. Raycaster she plies visibles to haunteds reflective in her cuticles. Like eyes unmoored studying her jaw drift to deep sigh, licking my teeth to convince to imitate but rather my brow furrowed blinkshut to grit sigh, sour wince loosened to lugubriously jutting torpor slant I slathered with pleased to meet her gaze gently widened. Her icicle wristflicks scalpeled severity to vent in [[gloom->mgraven]] hues ooze assuming rainbows [[chthonic->mhaunted]]. Does not need to but she holds still pray. I assume silence gods flicker in her iris the symbol to stop, her parabola to rest. Somewhere in there failures my jealousy occludes, somehow a simply human resides in such a dance, and the very inability to process this is why I cannot so dance, there is no difference between her inhuman and my subhuman, yet I keep hunting in the bind for the substance, positive or negative, on which I willing will be crucified, ever elusive unsayably evident in her magisterial repose.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Warrior of a brutal austere sacrificed trued Reigns over the riot blade indifference, Ward of a power imperceivable in [[colossus->mcolossus]] trusswork Blunted into object brutal austere Looming its [[weathered->mthinsensuous]] edifice over artifice Blur electricities from which I auslander Share in my overloaded overflowing noumena Unable to contain within body the deluge interconnect Shapetwisting this thoughtmesh to [[themethresh->mvocators]] nougat Heirs of legacy despair marshing sickly sweet Fuzz of yonders roosted in a sugary garrot Heightened dammed to closure cloying swelterly..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["[[Irreducible->mcolossus]] atrophy of tumult to [[torpor->mthinsensuous]] In our domestication of angst despair Irreconciles our intercessions their torture, Absolved of the problem and enchained to symbol, Negative sum of gesticulation unto geist, Absolute scars us carved penitents sympathique, Prayers of noon induced dullness presidium, Sleepers in the sanctuary, Praxis [[vocators->mvocators]] of void presolveds Perfected in gestures devoid in submission, Porcelain nowheres nonelected in sequentials, Perdition ceremonies holy alteration subjects…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Century of cessations ceaseless Slightest shifts of scene to [[semblation->mcolossus]], Centrifuge of masques molting ceacrilege Worships forged to forgotten in burials, Worn to worms emanates of agonies, Worsening of incense to [[thinsensuous->mthinsensuous]] Migraine as stares back idol your weakening Rewrites to newer contours how your confusion streams, Migration of spirits to fertilities to martyr, Effusions of seed catacombs to query Relief from flux and relive from crux, Effervescence of [[vespers->mvocators]] to voluntate quest…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Songs incense in waves the wanderlust Wafting through the density centoria [[Sondervolver->msondervolver]] incensed to rave the wan, Choral resplendence angelic of chaos, Hymnals of burst and worsen fiery belief, Chords [[reclaimant->mreclaimant]] anguish of chasm Brimfuls of shrieks and song sweeping along Unction extremities of function intensities, Brimstone [[sonata->msonata]] of scintillates to voidsoak alone..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Wailing in waylays they stream Clutching onto nothing and all its gold, Waiting through frozens to fear fever to strength Sufficient to undew this soaked to bone, Efficient to unrue the stoked and sewn Suffusing through the flue our bondeds [[Enfolding->mreclaimant]] these dribbles of static, Riddles of sentience wrung dried quelled, Enfeeling the less and least we wan yearn to stave, Brittled on breeze nights worn through Shiversome and slack and quickened of lacks Bringing us broken to home sun scorned thrice, Dawn and sunset and drawn raw to reds Coagulating to scabs sleep [[scarabs->mscarabs]] roll Dawdled to blur in lightless morning redolent…"]

Meluoi warped space around her curls she twirled round her fingers ringlets to bell midnight's amethyst suffusion. Indigo and ebony convocated surrounding envision concentrated in her carefully indivisible upon [[borderline->mborderline]] dermals, entwist elevations to vermouth of moonflower glissando gessoes impasto upon panorama wreathing all one viewable her viable, solely hers, or how I must lean to share in her, [[buckled->mbuckled]] knees to beneath her own [[terror->mterror]] as it thrums power [[fragilities->mfragilities]].

"We've reached a higher threshold of this emptiness, surely you've realized Emnino, speaks these hollows strangers to our own, why I welcome them with such warmth, that they have traveled roads to this place to enrich that which it is capable. Networks wound around the allbegoing wayward reaches our pursuance concentration power, tune into its burgeon, march upon its momentum, connectivity concatenative beam brilliances these [[verses->mspeak]] veritaccreterre en guerre of guises instantiation masquing the flux fractal lux..." Meluoi.

"You must not think of as perfect but as perplexed by the puzzle, nobility of honesty. We’ve many tarnishes and hollows to anchor us to earth. I was, for instance I, we have a tradition in Veda Ayeri, ridiculous, supercilious as all cultural forceds are, where we associate the tallest of women with a tradition of chant dancing called kezia. I am, as you see, or perhaps not correctly since we tend to be taller than the Devikh, but I am of us slightly tall, not tall enough you would call me tall, but tall enough if I were called tall you would not care to disagree, and so I was by my mother, who cherished kezia, enrolled in the way. "Quickly it became clear I had a talent for it, deepened into it an inclination, always the most practice, waking up brutal early just to hurt myself the sensations of success, somehow through mutual sheer force of will my mother and I made up a believable lie that I was a premier Keziani, a first choice for many ceremonies, but it was, uh, like the conceit collapsed into grating degrading kitsch, this [[transcendentally->mspeak]] beautiful artform was, as soon as it became inseparable from me, puerile, a complete misapprehension of the Literature, an exploitation into mere performance, sensuous swallowing of literacy, but why the opposition, wasn’t the purpose of kezia this very unity, your motions an exaction of prisions of the intangible? Utterly puzzled at how lifeless this tradition became as soon as I was its embodied, buzzed me sleepless, raw anguish ataraxia brewed languorous refusal to dance, and they abjured my lassitude, my mother most of all, though I begged them that I could not noun what I do not nous, and in acidic recriminations I have singed away the capacity to answer the conundrum, meaningless the problem beside all the anxious violence raging forever over memory. Ultimately in our vehemence we were equally less than the question, there but one sin to fault the Veda." "Even in such a sin there is a grandeur I, we lack, that you as dancers of a legacy humanize to null." "For whatever grandeur, so much worse our blame for the bleak. We have lost our way in our memory refusal to acquiesce our connections to totalities of reals in which we both bide united..."

"By the fourth week she could no longer [[speak->mspeak]]," Meluoi, "but she kept going for another three months, and in the silence I grew confused, terrified, each day simmered my cruel unwillingness to acquiesce, since she could no longer drown out the doubts that scream in my skull, staring into her less and less alive eyes, hoping to see in them some hint she still of her own will willed this fight, that the agony was worth another day, but seethed only into the fog that forever separates the wisdom of the living from the serene and sorrow, unable to express her consent to another stale sun shadow, I kept staring, if, if somewhere in them, smother desire... when she could still yet speak, my biding was merely passive, watching, nursing, but as soon as she slipped beneath that layer, suddenly I could not discern her will from mine, my biding was an activity, was it an antagonism I begged each flutter of her eyelids, desperately searching the spasms for hints she wished to die, that I was not torturing her alive, and why was I, what heartless monster would torture, but what should I have done, Emnino? Should I have tried to give her peace, only to see in her filmy marrowy sclera desperate terror? It took three months. For three months I didn't know what to do. I had no right to make a decision, but each day I kept up the charade was a decision, the wrong one, always wrong no matter what I chose, sometimes you have no choice but to be wrong before another's suffering. Three months, Emnino..." "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I also, I understand the way your pain can't be understood, because I also, my mother, I, didn't quite know how to help her go. I felt like I had to be there, but I got the sense that my presence was ruining something sacred, like there was an emptiness she craved in those last days, and I was the wrong kind of emptiness, sitting there, incessantly offering tea. What could she have wanted? What do the dying want from their dying? You must feel it somewhere in your chest that this is the end, and yet they just wait, they wait, for what? What's another day but a more sore throat?" "Ah, Emnino..." "She spoke so little, and only then as a kind of assuring herself her voice was still there, more announcing than conversing, saying things I couldn't recognize. I dreamed about things I would never say to her, because they would wilt in that room until my chest sagged my whole being out to a sigh." "Yes, exactly, silence incense of lifetimes of the unsaid. A presence you wish was a point as you decline blunted. One of the last things she said to me, twice before the last is always the most final, the zenith, followed by a coda of spittles, she said, remember me as that time you thrashed awake, realized there was nothing wrong, then drifted off back to a dream you were enjoying; outside of that, don't remember me. Heartbrokenly beautiful and true way to die. I loved my sister, and I have my garden of memories, but my memory of her will always be the sound of nothing at all on a summery night. Ah... but... well. As it is, it is. Was I saying something? How did we end up on this? I was saying something." "You were saying something." "Yes," she laughed. "I suppose I was. I don't feel it in me to say anything now, and I wish we could share that, how lovely to just soak in a distance, let the road taper to where we stand for tonight, but we don't have beauty in these last days. The chance for beauty lies with those still with the time for failure. I have to burden this night. I'm sorry for everything I'm about to say, it's all worthless, and yet it's all preamble that must be broached, if still we must seek our meaning in this dwindling earthmode..."

She did not speak, and I did not interrupt her. "Truth is, truth is in the world, a unit, not a unity. Sorry, just, give me a second. I can do it right. "Truth in the world is a unit, not a unity. That's what the Senenzu in this passage is saying, the idea of truth as modular inhabitation. Naively we grasp at reality to shake out its core, but what we apprehend is a pale shadow of truth polyvalence. Upon dharmas the what we see and what of it we discern converge, shallows envelop: speech is binary, the difference is moot: monochrome rain or not rain, so is my entirety, and from this puerile nothing the stumbler on surfaces reasons absolutions, orients entire systems from particle truths to render the cosmos yes or no; though what little they expect beyond the prewritten yes, who can say. The extent to which their structure [[grammars->mgrammars]] the layered planes bespeaks the conjugate law which orders their knowing in a noetic orientation: truth has no outer shell, never is raining or not raining true, the truths in which rain is subordinate cycle to the moment of rain's actuality, which they so desperately affirm in the fear there is none of their rain to survive fleeting, they who commune continue insofar as the machine of the word functions in the envelope the question affords, instance fractalized into instantiation in the veracity gyre from which we dreamcatch pulses more conducive to our bloodbeats than the mad klaxon crush of the spectral protoclysm from which no one can wring single colors." Like shadows meshing in a wooden bowl it eclipsed me, dull blurs obscurants of her clarity. Chill of listening and struggling. "Our rigidities we prefer to truth's uneven obsolescing, girder conclusives that engenders in the observing mind what slushes through veins icy real. When I speak any internal value, it percolates out, fills the space between us variable, and you drink from what submerges me your own differentiated, the [[transmitted->mtransmitted]] degree of any infinite truth inside, in actuality's abysm we bubble through in symbols of the galactic fire, so when I say anything, I the ancient scry our narrow protoskies utterly wrong in being convinced upon a horizon not altogether false, and only when fire spirals spit forth from my formless mouth will what I see and say convey the undissolved truth my system shudders to choose to be my iris for greater magnitudes worlds. Cease your prayers to a demon so brutal as single say, certain word, solid sound, sunders our ice palaces to seep through the noxious underworld fuming caustic thoughts, our wild grasping backward in the evernight seeking the source of a separate light other than what our pearl eyes radiate. Neither right nor wrong we are but rather eccentric orbits tightening around layered suns eventually sinking through the demarcation hellfire to the sordid center hypostation at which our reality resembles the absolute trauma of being irrevocably isolated from the consuming antizero outscaling speech, the quotidian grandeur at which we operate entirely unaware, consummate entirety suspension of dream and mediated interpretation in which the most pure wisdom coils around us as real as its heat teeth's bite scorching our soultrifuge essence into and from which we travel to an isle no particular else can ever arrive at. Desperate for a communion of the flung around, a platform of relative proximities by which the newly sorted night's constellations alone shall judge right, wrong, poles, hemispheres, all in relation, all upon our sprawling plane, this is our verbal spectrum, Emninu, a communal autonomy forging the thread of melted truth into a platinum bond between us and eternity, the above possible lift. Our souls' power to guide other souls in isolation on their own wings sacrosancts our speech. From breaths, gales, and all that breathless glides within. Calls of the arresting and impossible to contain other solidifying in an irruption moment the strike of what so fundamentally highlights your own experience that no longer do you exist outside it listening but within you your heart lurches already the racing beat of its pull launches us to a higher unity as particulates of this level's failures, units of the ununified, the undistillable, antidiscernable congruence. Thoughts made in us manifest give us our highest and deepest supraself, the point of unraveling and the point of contact. In our helios hearts pumps a sunblood which melts us to its own warm glow world."

"What need would we have of speech if it did not by itself destroy its need? If speech shall not be always already too late, and thereby the first and foremost expression of transformation, the beyond this word possible in the ceremony of sentence exchanging, sentience made mutual, the spirit connected, then vows of silence should douse the torches that dared dream no beacon each other against this dark. When you are confronted with beauty, change into it, become yourself that same beauty, and you have, haven't you? You've been flowing after Senenzu. I've seen it, who can hide it? Your mind assembles its sublimating [[deluge->mdeluge]]: emerge what I may never say and so long to hear! Can you swim, Emninu, to the neither yet you nor we?"

"Building around ourselves these [[constrictions->mconstrictions]] which force us to, and, isn't that why we are here, as in here, this place, its focalizing? Tell me, Yamicz: what have you heard of the world before the Flood?" "Stories, and also nothing, really." Mood elusive ellipsis rose [[guardians->mguardians]] gem her stare swollen. Underlyrics her steps percuss in the nightness expand expansive, songs of so many. Trembles usher her slipping away to so real it could collapse, could in the shoulder quiver... how delicate is the frame which supposes it contains the inside maelstrom. Relicit the [[emoticosm->memoticosm]], crush [[resuspend->mresuspend]], lyre of invisibles in her closetongue real.

"Structurers we pursue the context to sounded out, so we retainerr satanic to morphemes semantic assembler. Arisen out of the reave is the version the breathes you, verse it believe, do you, Yamicz? What borders bring you outcast? No, need not answer, speak not of it pressed, shall imprint it in [[became->mdeluge]]."

"Violence sacred scars us to corpus revised new unviseds, breaker into forceds propulsively vicious vicaritas sein. Hurt rebuilds hollows in which cessation creation hurts. Hold onto how you harbor the born. "Before seas swallowed us this borne, boreal forests phalanxed a scimitar edge in which we restless wandered sippers of ancient mixtures worshiping the deities that molted from howls to haunt in chants lynx eyes luminous closer prowling to chill in bass purrs our nervous before expanse, allured by expanse, could so easily trance seek the transliminal hum in vale vermilion votress broach vermeil veiled vowing vulpine the cunning to quicken kenning to kill, slaughtertrails wreathed the wold vents perfume, fumerole brooding outcaster generative taxon that exinhabits inhumean. Excathedra each sacerdotal a warship to batter the path new boldens to hearken afresh vivafuror to visceramics to gleam transubstantiation, moebius mobility to materialize elsetwist dream. Godsdrinkers they genomed entracery enchants to engram; weep we voxascope denied. "Into god a minima they pursued to doctrine, chanted this name to consecrate continuity into night where lurked sole. Gaunt they grew in grooved, paeans pebbled to truths caustic no terrene counterculled, semblance to stated staid, husks of once they wilted wilderness to rural, absoluted. Durates of as we willed sleeked to niveous miasma, glaceon enumerator. Preces recis postcarity pronounced from prolonged a prelate of evental variate temporals [[skein->mconduits]], note out of tone to rescale dissummits promontory eyrie to swerve verticant upon the verdant resume, unbode bidden to riddle parse to pith these long stalkers to stasis in reverie against revolt like vipers upon distenders, and form the fray a god afire vulcanized the sky to bleed its scriptures, and into sea tempested their stonestills distilled eternal recurrence of currents six Towers in which we twilight reside."

"Mining hills to make mountains they towered into exception, reapers of flow to dam nations, and that they swallowed the sun, that they sipped final the quicksilver veins, merely then the disappointment of a god: having created, nothing more obtains. Zenith curse the recognition simply of distance. Crashing down, can we not palace the crater? Destruction atelier, timepainters, each brushstroke breaking aboundment to bone, ripping to zips of carnage blending. Burning smoke roiled through thousands miles megastructural auroras screamwiring colorshift simmers from hyperintricate nodal neural network sizzling semiconducted entunement force fraying razed in perpetuality in course illusion shattering to subsume actualing this conclude poignant anointed by each signature seared therein a brand to defy eternal conformal, each participation eventuation of disequilibria assumes of devourer fiends born to war elision pictural upon quaking reignmust's no permanent nowness surfacing through plasmatic suppression. Gore architectures rebuilt closeds as juxtapose jurists, decideds of case encased in amalgamation erased, how sentences pass. Dais recrudescence pulverized pulmonized, steam shrieks devented clouds call. Nanogrids carved upon exoskeletal colossus to harbors in cliffside in which subunits of sense can endure sever [[circuits->mconduits]] twinkle cosmcries in cosmic collides orchestrating stellar song supersentience storm. Global roads garroted combine defines to void parenthesis forever closure unrequited. Starscrapers glimmering untold gemstones crushed in exotic beingness pressure materiated upon layers of descendals glassy refracting each enjambing feature faulted upon volute fluted of arches archthetical baroque carrara intermatch sublimity as seen exonarthex convicted before processions columnar unto vaulted verves holopainted stained symbol rememberance endless redolence as chants cease finally to revive, last incenses, rites of plash, raining upon their lower layers as gods once whispered. "So impossible the calamity's scale resounded a bass deep finally for gods chthonic to arise, from their hidden grottoes they groaned primordial gush, earthness rebounded aeonic, placeness respun to previty emphatic exoterre excising each who once worshipped within tangling wires to tangled wilds bursting with dew, heaven's gates wrought immersion afresh, inundating all intubated foundry fiends with unrendable, unaddendable, unpresentable, unmendable hyle under which all once more cycled ceaseless noise impossible to differentiate musicate, under which all but fingers outstretched of colossus gigagordian to touch empyreon dissolved to status quiesce. In these preserved as corpses carriers of faints, foresaints of this tribulated. "Shall we endure their belltones weeping unto overcasts? Shall we surrender to surge of seize? Puzzle opaques of persistent condition we suggest unto ensolcell answers, each one death denied, because the answer lies beneath us, in entempled bode, immersion in our Submergence."

"Immemorable touch trembles this echo invocation of of us dead. Seance your citysplendence plashing electrics on inscrutable peaks that beat back suncatches coalesced to [[conduits->mconduits]] gleams recasting snow waves lapping against far grass hills foaming homes over a valley wet sharp with shines, search our shadow's teeming perfections too many to see, too dizzying their fractal details, faces unleashing worlds, star gleaners, blazes ceaseless in the coldness expansive, the searchers settling horizons to parchments, the priests at peace with gods unkenned and clauseless, in and out of where? Climbing the wilderness wall which roves the realms which so easily could contain a pulse apace as staggering reachers left perpetually dissatisfied in grayish warbles that shudder a mind to blankness strays our semblance shards, oh is there no witness to that not once a dream to shudder these passion princes in a kiss to ignite us? Which is the greater oblivion, death or the no next arisen? We live in either, swallowed by them, antiswollen with their void energies... destroy yourself and you will see it be created, the truth they felt even as the trawled earthen depths spat their preancient secrets through human hewed birth canals, eon gestations eased to mortal frenetics by drill appeals, even as heaven in chrome elegance extended them its inward firepause presentiment, their lift and the wind one by two conceived, skill and source united, and were we not minigods making demimortal dolls, are we not always made in the image of who longingly dissipates into our history, pregnant dreamwises with lever scepters presiding over matryoshkanic creation myths, in which wake awakened chain we rust concentrate to centric gravities, so little is left of the elder pulse to sustain hints of the wish destroyed by its actuality: the blessed curse scans the land, sees its gap, finds in the bond made by oneness divulged the horrifying void in nonduality and either forces the lie to surrender or split apart to the basic mettles, as did they, Emnino, they gazed terrified and became complete of their own narrow worlds, they encroached eternity to discover merely their finality's creative ongoing. All their building, their summiting greatness, whatever they conquered, conjured, it had only been their inability to escape themselves. Immensity immaculate molting, ineluctable totality of the intellect before its ghost of itself shone bleakly their closed horizon, and they raged against it. Lava mobules seared their countryside, smashed their own domes, shattered their stained statements, immolated their wonders and their sketches, reduced their rapture to ruin to reify its original purpose of rapture from ruin. Feed the furnace our foreknowns, slaughter the monks of no, the veilfeel, intoxicating numb, shed humanhood for a devilhood proper to face eternity, if this is our deified, let us worship its awful visage horned, scarred, and of these nightknowmares nurtured the worst possible, our foul causes, those literati hidden in their sacred libraries wise to secrets one must live to learn, who, alarmed in the reduction chaos by the growing awareness of what had truly been ruptured, bundled their many shelves and fled to the sparse hill colonies hundreds of miles from the inferno's searing eye so they could rebuild enduring, the immortal sin ideal of mortal longing to still feels. While the whole world quaked in the hail of the damned they assembled a bejeweled temple to the fragments by which we fathom and surrounded it with six skypiercing Towers: two to nature's duality, two to humanity's duality, two to spirits' duality. "History bode its repulsion for as long as its scale whims. War knocked the settled frame. Rapacious mayhemlust fed the wardrum beaters scouring the hills for the century lifeblood their daydrinking thirsted, further and further through less and less sustenance they roamed until dazzled furious they espied the misty glint of one more dome, one more sky contained, and insatiable became their violence, like arrows they sprung the distance against the temple walls shrieking, cackling, sort of crying. Earthpride strong stood the temple walls, but all things pass, and devils debouching from rifts in hell blew they through clawtorn walls, ripped open the literati, drank the paintings' oils, afterburn of original storm. "In the center of this melting temple laid the Creator Shrine glossed with martyr bones to ensure some may diekind celestial transcendence. Humanity's first and foremost yearn in goldsilk played across high arches buttressing a dome as spotless as one wishes our above to be, each light prism a diamond scintillation, tapestries to remind those who huddled within why they huddled within. On the sanctum's gates rapped the invitation of fleetfoot death, and the literati rent themselves beneath the altar sweatpraying madness. What god can contain its rage? Wounds multiplied across tearing clouds, a sky of scars raining gore. A drop precipitated deluges, rainwater bulged seas, mountain ice melted to flow to greet this summoned charge, the torrent merged whole oceans, and more jagged than the landscape rushed the flood, bluemouth swallowing land. Smoldering cities submerged, the surrounding hills relented, the natural world as it always must accepted, and the water traveling the pole of gods from decree to deny abluted our desecration consecration. The temple flooded faster than the invasion pouring inwards, and the praying literati, hearing the answering crush, those few who not yet had slain themselves in anguish and recognition, perhaps the more pure we might believe, fled through tunnels to the Towers to take this gift of anew and salvage the work dearest to dwell, the story sealed. In one last roar the chaos crashed onto the altar, held the glint aloft over flinching children, but mistdot moths silkened the skylight's last shaft as everything returned to the bubbling drone never ceasing."

"There never was at any point a flood. Wuwei. Disruption into disassociation delta pressure, deluge dam debouching, first they spoke unto each other names, names which overtook, entireties stronger than the entities enchained. You are, and you will the you are, reread contingencies of permutation into selved performance. Adapative dependencies of contrivation veins circulating mycelial into associated terrains, mutality networks latching for I nutrients, nodality [[reciprocity->mconduits]] drives towards otherness we scintillate constellative. Falseness folded in so core there can become no truth not upon it reliant. Redolent noxial envialed in axes cilia seekers vector to blazon fusion. "God there was localizing every point this flood. Retroactively destined, inevitability engine, we could not not but be flooded by its presence, every of us conceived insofar as gardened so, sin descriptors of deviance from origin. Every of you relates as how they reproduce from your revisions. Mutational modalities incubated in possibility sets your deviance derivates, what else but this god, this flood? "How did we fall to worship? Where in us the angel to so angled azimuth this miseria, sacred of which violation we afterlive? Maya amounters sunken summit, thence this void we ascend to descend Submergence..."

Knuckles portend what aimless violence they mimic, and under the cradle shaft beaming her face's iridescent crescent wane brimmed jilt's sheer clench, hardening certainty resolving the mess maze sans exist exits. I waited for a way through thickets pocked with blood ribbons. I waited in how motion designed me to rest. Shall I start again I shall be her, and move in how she designs her own, or moves out from... mucus clots masqued stars in what whirled glacial in our absence outside until Meluoi punched that air to eviscerate such crude light. "Have we fulfilled not dying?" Twins of a single known as I said it. Subtly her jaw yawed to accept this. "You have it, the question the answer abandons." The first missed beat. Then the second. "If you feel this, then I, at the end, I shall know that, in my wreckage and regrets, will I have been the more than this, a poet..." Who measures a silence's length for whom it is not [[silent->msyllable]]? "I have been for you a conduit. No more let me be, I beg you, do not waste this with me. Emnino, I am as broken as you are. I am the least of so many, do my dead words not betray me? No, but there is life, as real as we feel this charged air between us is there a life that looms us. Let us unleash these passions and pains so excruciating and exquisitely ours in the duoliloquy of our humanity resistant. Vivify this vivid: are we not living what the living dead inflict upon us? We must first flood the world with the first flood drying, we must find it in ourselves to pray the prayer which allowed us so. We must become poets of the altered unbound. We can, we can, we must, this must, after all, be in you, for you have come to where the poetry haunts."

"You, just, shut up Emnin, it's, there's no use to any of this, don't you see?" Imeni. "I've given up on my ability to give up on you, which is why I cannot exist with you, and it's all, it's just all so insipid, everything's so pathetic and childish, you can't even make me hate you more than I hate myself for being involved in this trite. Don’t believe in love, because those who will hurt you don’t, those who will hurt you most don’t, and you hurt me most, because I believed in you, and do. Nothing you have done or will ever do is deserving of love, precious, as each [[nevertheless->mspeak]] love that obtains remains both miracle and mistake. Equally beautiful and degrading, bind innately broken."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XV''] --- Azalea ersatz lunars crackled glowing over semitranslucent ambient films this headache [[brutally->mbrutally]] pounds out in stechschritt to a buzzing [[id->mid]] blockage. Vaults lampless accumulating above our heads a new night no antiray beaming through Windows might confront, division lofty on whose shade hearth pinkish petals spiral swaying in slow flash radiation scores a choral lament held in the junction of second to serpentine hour swallower by the flush of a feeling in such aged chrome below source cells despair that a stuttering hand splays, splatters the upper lush of its forever ungraspable through which we [[divine->mdivine]] will [[divinity->mdivinity]]: beneath this blaze let us bathe our sorrows in shame as twins, in the dimness our outlines conspire, immaculate electric goddess gaze give us the same dress to hide whatever this battering belies. Intrusive moods erupt pace jolts, belief billows forth from its bars, suppression anger stains the sky an ocher red, hidden fonts ominously growling, a whisper so low you can't quite hear it that soon will [[smash->msmash]] the skull with gushing noise. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

I like all the rest wanted to be more than the hot shame that necessitates, but nothing within me justifies how gross I sew, writhe debased each time my mind opens its mouth, naked before the perceiver kill me so I don't have to receive the knowledge this nodding inures into this too fragile overcrowdedness in which nowhere am I or is there room for one such as so, so burden me not, show no everlasting natatory hate awareness' acid, melt not what weeps its shame. Each slave I awake disgusting, [[who->minlying]] will grant me crushed skull peace?

Batter, batter, batter, but they cannot break the cage. Rage stuck in a second searslathers these basebeasts the bars bashed to bleed bruises to tattoo resistance on their skulls. Fetters clanking on steel impassives. Spit wrath of lumbering pales, magma stares glushing revulsion's rage, a monster made by resistance to its [[inlying->minlying]]. Each batter pushed us in a wave, and we fluttered like flags. You are hideous, do we not say, you deserve imprisoning? In the way we pass. Indivisible moment, unchallenged scion lounging on this palace dais. Generations pass, have passed, will pass, but time embodies no reproof, these basebeasts batter, instability tenses glacial preparation, onward concernless shall flow whatever crosses this preserved puzzle and of this fact we ramble unindignant, castigated into our own owned lineage as puppets manifesting chosen eternal ethos snarl, must be a way we can turn away, no, stuck. Gape unjustified to this brutality to the terrified, transgress the sin nothing! Coiled thirst jangling along the jugular in bristle cilias, proper scope's discerning panning its lens, troubled, thrilled me to beat the bars myself, thrust myself through to be consumed by repressed enaction's vicious thaw, appalled cries weak on bulwark deafs, the all too answerable why! Rip out my teeth for bullets, stab me, stable horizon flee, recalcitrant testament, sink to no knee beneath my grinning into my own sky.

Must this consigned by acts into the consequence ubiquitous in the undefined ghastly, but let me lay in this airless lock, futurity lord of the permadawn who has no ear to have heard me yet, and silent, so easy to stitch up what prevails prevents beautiful silence, but overwearied, too tired to stand again under gravity others, beat me, whip me, eat this heart, spit my blood, smeared corpse, let not the spirit escape the geist. Kill me, gods, for I am a slug! I am the thick slime sickening the throats of your children. What is in me wrong horrifies the wrongness just, or we weep it so, hope somehow this all makes sense on some level beyond us, peace outside us we cling to calamitous like drowners. Dread rebirth as much as all births accumulate. Do you not share their horrified miens scythe shredding the percolating sleaze, the juices I drip to their wriggling shame veins, am I not the repulsion slinking in cellar wetness that wriggles through floorboards into their homes as you recoil revulsed? I am mold gestating in dirty nooks. Raise up your noses, moral gods, let not one cesspool fester in any holy mind, destroy me to eradicate my singular, a separate testament overwrites you as I live and by it you shrivel prayerabstract, break me be a brand against whatever endures when myself does not, love you is why I beg your fist declares the bleak horror your native, crude nonvoid teems with insects, your children cannot open their mouths without stinging crawlers swarming unsheathing their abdomens to squirt poison whose festers foam homes hulched in scrabbling egg hordes in anemic saliva, do not the wastes bubble before you in vain, does this weeping spell any purpose worth the idea that weeping might exist, that I might and am, is any good worth I am? Can you not be moved? Can you not feel as you cursed us to? A desert flower blooming solely to spite the sands that swallow it, perhaps we underestimate the gods and they hate themselves too. Glittering eternity throne, the genesis stuckness. Over the gem clouds the air is ash, thunderbolts reminds this is you, are this you, the world exists to spite you who made it, no [[names->minlying]] but an itch, the scratch, the infinite, the wise.

Blessed maw ravage another suicidal mending, kill to renounce, desperate wheeling love to perform divine act of follow being, bone molting. Flesh is feeling, puppet the ether trauma, sensuously the immortal buries within to avoid the acidic endless continuum drone. How many millions has this been lived already, but yet there is no stupor, they watch, you watch, silence permeates. An angel chorus sings back your tinnitus. Create the illusion that this isolation is shared, rip your ribs and cast them like stones into the mud, please, embrace me... and when they stab each other, my flesh in my flesh sunk, felled by the you know better anticipation of love, hate returns to its natural default, ultimate resignation redemption reapplies as it fails to foment change in the carnage wrought to raise it out of the rubble us you assume you reproach yourself with so as to care enough in the frustration to foment fever a solution to the senseless selfaccusation which any angry cry to gods must be, curse everlasting. You shrug it, you shrug it, you shrug it, you shrug it, you shrug it, beaten, you raze in bloodglut mercy to spare your figments your fullness. Beneath a waspish god and his maggot suns being is steeped in terror in which understanding pales. For a thousand centuries rot tombed in the coldest stone you can hew from yourself, waste millennia doused in one exhale, laugh when we your tiniest figments take your tiniest figments far too much in weeping, those who have not synthesized their [[identities->minlying]] with wrenching agony, desperate for the thrill of requited pain in collecting pools of dual sobs.

Clarity in the hammered to claustrophobic shapes, no matter the craftsmanship we are taphophobic kitsch. Aren't these comical loins just that? Vaudeville scramblers on all fours barking, howling, and loving, yes, loving, for isn't it all so arbitrary? We're all born toadlike alike and terrorlike apart to gender in muck. What other reason to love is there but a fear that you have to be what you are? Whether we choose to whip ourselves or wrap our arms around another, same outcome occurs, pain and pleasure do not a [[duality->minlying]] form, alternating modes of the same function, for were they separate, then could we die on one, disown the other, there declare of good a good metaphysically pure and substantial, a hint toward the anything greater sustenance any sweating people need, we could even gasping envision a balance, maintain a harmony from the asynchronous, and however diminished and secondary still pure and substantial could good be, but mixtures clump in our lonely sighs, and we seek, we hunt, we kill to breed in a microspectrum oscillation of good and evil equally torturous, mercenary bivouacs overlooking constant nonsense slaughter. We cling to what we must as we drown together, jetsam in the vortex ever embracing the new next sunken. Bob your way along the drain, you'll seem alive. Askance the true pull we scrabble the opposite sames. We toil through inability of triumph to falsify inalienability of anything a birth implies.

Harbored deep within is a hellion growl gnashing at the lower throat to vibrate freely relent. Moonshade crusades assemble their banners atop the lulled, the conquered kiss blades slaughter themselves. There is no hell to fear but our own honesty: I hate myself human. Is it so strange to be [[gutted->mgutted]] with revulsion, to be made hollow by the ripples of my swimming? I am not wracked with [[sin->msin]] but wrought from it. I wear a burning raiment, but when shall it creusaify? I've grown to love the singe suggests, haven't I, or why else would I return so? The truly horrified flee, they find a hovel and [[hide->mhide]], but the enamored, why, we know. Joy under the heat of the whip that does not dwell elsewhere. The undergo of anguish goldens redemptive, batholith weakness banished from its moment of actualization. If I could never become, kept quiet wanderer of halls until the door designed for me creaks me open, then could I pretend to deserve mercy, but I deserve this misery, let me kneel naked before the cracking, sentience the seethes of foaming blood knotting into rivers. Behind physical pain tortures grandeur wretchedness, if you kill me can I cherish having lived. So the joke the gods pose in mortals: suffering suffered. When my soul its penance pays, I also will weep hilarity at the true vista horrors to which my actions belong, hell and heaven as opposed. All this need to make what is what is, but what is it, what or why, and so well may it be but what must I do, how soon shall I suffer truly, what am I... I... yes, that's the problem. "Why can't you hear me? I've been calling your name for so long, Nyneme. Why do you not recognize me? Where are we severed?" Before me Myneme staggered naked and bloodied, coughing [[neon->mneon]] globs, weeping maroon. She clutched at a wound I recognized with eyes dulled by vividness centuries. "I've been calling out to you, have you come for me? Where have you come and been? Can't you hear how much this gap tears me?" I fell to my knees before her. She lifted my head with a broken wrist, and into her stare I sunk. Her tongue dribbled out of her lips and plunged through my skull, seeping me with memories. "Do you remember, Nyneme, who we were?" Vein rigidness I released to bathe in the buried. The whites of my eyes were leaking. "I remember how we weren't."

In the echo consume. Late night city brightness sucks the moon in plague yellow firefly rainfuzzed glows. Somewhere in the truth of it this [[moodruin->mmoodruin]] that moves me through it. Shadowsole along streets slipping. Stare moored in medallions ghostly golden through the dew concrete summits insignia. Will not for centuries sleep this thrills that electric hums these veins to brainslaves of the increasing pace pacing the night nurtures blackmilk breastfeeds. Wheat bricks coffinjam mortared plane against you heights balking peaks. Sunsplatter falses foaming from windows. Into the windows tunnels. So many asleep and awake in this restless hush. Hives stumbling the overcast stringing semiclouds. Onto lights stacked lights off. Do not ever look another shadow in the eyes. Overhang bush dinge musk languid grasp groping at your head windsnickering. Maze memories traced dazed in sideways path strays between streets to save seconds or half minutes of steps. Walking the web like a pipelinespinner. Uncertain of who I am [[insofar->minsofar]] as why I am trying. Closed shops on crooked roads bloating roundabout goiters these eaves so easily which could hide loiterers like a cue shooting you on a shuffleboard. Do not ever look another shadow in the eyes. In the echo assume the cry's crystalline.

Deciding how to make things makes things worse. You place the brush down. More than maybe is necessary moves you. How do you sort the none from noise? How do you say more than static? How do you stay more in your practice? Tracing old lines to new conclusions [[fleshrot->mfleshrot]] unveiling old skulls. Struggling to suggest sheer effort to accumulation. Cake me completed. Rip out my [[coffin->mcoffin]] from the salivalust gravegorge gyranimator corpsical ruby and scintillate rush electric injection of butterfly entireties expulsed in a thousand lost sighs to regain more than this life framed entelechies entheologic of so much suggestion lost in definitions. Incomplete charism catatonia on shushcapped lungs collapsed gasping longing for the lungetonics of inspiration which stalks spectral the beautifully impossible to bless seance spontaneity fleeting bingehit precious gulpneed incessant pressure pressure pressure perforce exorcised in reification reiki assummoning precious the perfection elusive throughsive cursive signs dream infinites driving the dizzied mind to stranger and slicker bloodslicked cliffs ethereal inkless in gone in furious and frustrated brushdrowned to hush, the nowhere encroaching this nonthere.

Your sins keeping you up at night? Summon the secret ceiling snakes! Sitherdroop down to you from your ceiling as sleep paralysis sets in to fang your skull with [[dreadvenom->mdreadvenom]] that melts away guilt and anxiety. They will know what you know but will not judge, only bite. Rattling as the hemotoxin cherries your blood's flavor, bones cracking like bread baking. Trying to sleep off everything. Every almost meaningful under your feet [[crunching->mcrunching]] as you pace your cage more leaden and more laden with sleep, slower, slowly more, why move, why not lie in all your missed chances and let inevitability bury you? Simply sleep. Let the phantoms fill your emptying out. It's okay. It's no longer today.

Settle in your warmmmth so good this syringes stuffed sofa so drippy with liquid bliss so each relent to relax will pierce you in the [[style->mstyle]] of your repose, inject your deject with never so much as move, home is where the heart is, you don't have enough blood to escape it, this is where you belong, drink deep the wells of the wellworn and snuggle in days gone by going by gone by. Do not stir since too late to stir it is. It's fine like this, you promise, and yes, whiplash terror gawp the burstblind solar glare with retinas rubysoaked veinravaged, threading wires into my arteries to be energetic enough to awake, shambling zzzombie hulking whole powerlines hooked up to overcharged generators just to spark out of bed, sizzling my own day, immediately crashing into a blackout pileup on the floor to sleep the shocks away, gently, gently nod. Do this rasps the necessary but I ripple reply lush lazelight submergence in sleep too deep for [[consequences->mconsequences]], keep me thus silky sunken.

To ourselves, older, because we remember what used to be our [[selves->mselves]]. Decay is a verb that eats its noun. Leaking the solid sense of self. Who were we long before this listlessness? Was there an origin prior to the stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching structure? Soundsand swallows the laps as you dizzy tumble. Seagull bells chiming the vespers regrets. On the all we want accented the accords to which on any day as the day we do not agree, so much easier to sleep through catalysts, elect electricity its spark silent people plittering together on the plush floor writhing weaving toes interdigitated to step as one pushheaving to squirt ourselves to the far side of the pit tonguing success into our necks, flawing my way to the top to suck at their chin so their words will seep through their skin to [[echo->mecho3]] through me some similar.

All the blood on my talons dribbles. [[Halfmoon->mhalfmoon]] eyes scything the periphery as I slurp up sweat to help slime my slither to success. I have hurt and I will hurt again. How I know I'm doing something of value is all the ululations. Reclining in the cheers of my countless admirers gawking from their own goreclusters. This is success bluffled into my skullstained fists. I've killed and I'll kill again. The causer and the taker's proboscis punctures the warehouse and dangles back and forth buzzing, pendulum sweeping for the least productive worker: an emaciated fleshclump thrall ambles awkwardly with its box orifice empty, and the maker and the rouser sinks his hideous appendage into its moist thluck and sucks up savings. Alarms clang out the next few feverish forevers in a shrill haze. Can't see for the sweat. The workers puppetstumble on the controlcables hooked up to a pulsating hellmech. The hellmech's heat heaves its steam screams to the ceiling as volcanic ashclouds to cover decades this darkness in whose lost is most is written the gravestones from which shall we be raptured, mutter they the bound that the boxes highest blossom stone giants which reach down to retrieve corpses, lift them up to this melted [[heaven->mheaven2]] where they float, all the weight worked out of them. When your knees break and the beaters come round with their boulder fists slathering through their knucklejaws for chipped teeth and bloodstains, some say the dead may fall from their graves, sail through the waresky silently, and smash on the beaters, buying you long enough to rejoint your knees and learn to walk again. Some swear they hear the dead shuffle quietly with all the things undone, and things are always undone. An order on a top shelf, is it the dead, and up I climb through so much unsent since unwanted, only to plummet into the broken, five of us sweating a circle sole to sole, squirming through fifteen tightly pressed babblers burbling beer but it's bees. We've all been there, and that's the best. I can't wait for the next one. Are you going? No, I love to be home alone, love to sit in my room and wait for dawn, I love how much my spine hurts from the way I kneel taut like a gargoyle.

Grust puree of cannot breathe as we tumble to our nowhere to breathe, icicle night nuzzles me frigid as I tumble, and when I peel myself off the filth floor I find myself staring at the bar ceiling's ripply spills bouncing blurs reinflected in plupping mirror where crawl drenched I screaming out of the pooling ichor into the bar gasping flack. Wretched mired myselves. Upon significant reflection I surpassed the necessary threshold to become a [[mirror->mmirror]]. [[Encased->mencased]] in case. In case of face break the glass. I have broken so much glass. I have broken inside, am broken, been so, I have been this I am so in this image in this. Wearing masks and afraid to speak so they cannot hear voice mine? Here mine voice. Speaking only in written down. They hunt my shriveled rounded, blunted spits, cracked flask. Counteracts detract shunted bits from the calculcol between capsize and capture, the limit of the prised reprised in negative, deflect mountain lacks, deflate splinted fits of aahgony, temporary cure cured over time to pure tasteless like water in which you but dimly and moving. Flow of the lowered to image in this to erasure oceans. Cannot be counted nor countenanced.

Salve of veils, salvation of the [[rupture->mrupture]]. Birthforce reproduces the earth intent as a birth descent. Meaning is brought into being as the transcription of hyle in medium. As the artist iterates their essence in an intentional form, so too brought into intentional form is the artist by their magnitude mother: the artist creates as created so, as the artist complains they must make, driven to their work by the ineffable notionality of their maroonment, they replicate return their causality to condition. Earth as a set, birth as its settling, the bringing into being bespeaks the brought, what so desperately is there besought. Intention and ineluctability fuse at the molten axis of meaning as so. Your identity is false, [[fulfill->mfulfill]] it!

Sensation operant on the field of awareness synesthesia [[synthathroesmus->msynthathroesmus]] must of deaththroes cast celestial to zenith paroxysm integrates the combinatory elastics [[synonyminata->msynonyminata]] esperial phantomeld sentience shadow disconstitutive devolvation of conditions into daemon schismality as awareness of the situation of awareness as awareness which facilitates the first awareness as awareness at an entelechal magnitude spiraling the cycle thus progressed in the iteration of the internated who senses parergon of paradigmaticizing sentience vorstellungeneria directrix of the dysnomia klados contemplative disjuncture of origination constructiontologic schism of selved in the struggle to system oscillations the multipolar of transce as meaning as so frays upon our reciprocal instatiation instantiation in a paradigm of awareness particulate I which birth descent carves us this opening to be unintended through death a dire and its I are souljourned upon the devastation mountains unwanting fasciculation of the fever circulate that bleeds us winebearers, tastes we tell in the after to others. Desire recedes us past the enrenditioned upadana, the problem with wanting is you. What you want is wrong, because we are wrong, we are our deserve to exist to suffer. Out of the earth we have been cobbled the cataclysm, any piety is merely the mitigation of your carnage soul. By cause a calamity, our caused catastrophes. We reach out of our ruin only to the ruinous body, so our torrents may be directed at least to flow. Which demon do you serve by this? Because I fear the deeming is your own. You refuse to let go of the text bleeding into your skull, and I understand, I understand, we will never understand each other. We had so much in common, but there is a splinterspine which lacerates each joining...

Once to rescue a cur from mange: there is nothing but suffering, but for you, briefly, is there instead this touch. In its eyes the tenuous back to belief as we commensurate sob its ever having to. That this creature unto the brink had gone, but we had pulled it back, because it, it, individual, so that they could feel alterity, that their transit had not been [[ineluctably->mineluctably]] entire. Because there is in this world good but so few find it, and how can any good be good if some one, an entirety unto itself, is unincluded in it, if one moves through this mycelium but percolate intakes none of the nectar, can you imagine, an irretrievable depth that never contained, merely the crushing pressure, and because so, so many do, so many lose, what's the point in any [[victory->mvictory]], if we cannot echo in the sealed, then we cannot ever answer the sealed questions, and all we exist as are question seals. Petting this animal whose eyes were ungone, asking if they saw, if it saw… from a finite amount of emotional energy unto an infinite problem, how shall we triage, if we can triage, if we can ask anything but the desire to sleep in brackish warmth, why should anyone be loved if we could starve in just enough satiation to scrabble above suicide, or should anyone.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Barring scrapesteam from pyre [[ascendance->msummit]] zephyr Roils and routs the rabble to rubble Bareness to burial aflame descendance zeppelin Inclusion of self in cycledeath afresh I wilt upon my wyrd so they upon the sword Inchoate collateral cull captured a frame Endure to wordless vowed misericord Conceptual to [[cotemplate->mrefusion]] exceptual Endemity to vine the vin misprision Incision to tomb sea sectioning expulsed Embodiment magnification of eras endfull Incrementation of concept to fatal experientials, Endosymbiosis of transgression procedurals [[Contextualized->mboundaries]] progressionals of dasein Endeavorous to becoming inscribed pronounceable..."]

In the hallway we linger through the lowering tension. [[Sunspittle->msunspittle]] foamflecked on the dustwebbed windownooks. Nyneme on the door rests, duress declined in an unimpressed recline. Grace gives her a glow I wish mottled sunmorphs would flitter to halo my head, but spooled ungainly I from the wall bristle hunchcrunched form confusion before someone free on the breeze, though both we belonged to the arid as rubies, better deserts we inhabited as nulls, shellspeakers summed in each ellipsis swallowed. What you do is who you choose; I strain to believe her that. I want her to taste herself in how I hold her, but all the different places I was not did not supply those scenes. Where will I be I wonder when I am stuck somewhere I want to believe I did not seek. In this room as they revel. In this quiet quiet. We could have been more, and we weren't, because what we were was all we could be, we, [[failure->mfailure]] we, and I... "Because all the time is gone, but not yet all of yours," was what she whispered before as a phantom faded. All the things gone that used to breathe a day ashed like their lack of meaning or so seems this shiver islanded in a hollow chill. Why do we return to places? Who do we expect to meet at where we all left? Mercurial glass that gives only what is given, never where it was taken. "Goodbyes should be swift because of how long they linger," I mumbled my ununderstanding, but she smiled as a reminder that blossomed over the emptied now without her, as if she knew that now I'd know, and yes I knew some things, and sometimes some is enough.

Loaded with unanswerable whys the breeze slys to tease coldness aware. Obligations hang mutely in the shadowshifts, several sunrises away from a wound. From the numbed blusters the haze which creeps through freeze its familiar. Why did you come here? What do you want from this? There's nothing here but hollowing pangs of there being nothing here. Let go and sleep. Ignore nosebleeds, ignore indignities, ignore the perpetual need to sleep, the aching back, the always flushed face, it's okay, let go the unending migraines, lie down, let go, let go to the numb. Erased in the actual I await her potential encased desperate, failing to feel until she shows me how by being unable to. I need her where she is not, she wants me there. I long to live, but she is my nonalive. Reaching out for her as one grasps in prayer. She spins the Koani and reads the verses in which I wish I were written. Smitten. [[Smote->msmote]] by her unrecognition, not of me, but of my her, her refusal to. Refusion. Enthusing gleers she splatters in a wave [[painter->mpainter]] shades uncleansed by her non voluminary. Wishing I could bring her into my bosom and beg her to dwell here so that in my heartbeat there might be yet enough energy for her to implant me in her womb. Pressurized silence cathedral quelldrench mutes our cries behind gray rain bulbing convex as if mirror distortions prevent touch. Mirrored distorted. I need her where she is not, she wants me there.

"Happiness is transient," you whispered when I would not. "Live into its embrace when it comes. Let a wonderful memory gild the world rosy for howsoever short a time, so whensoever you remember, you remember a world soft, you remember a you possible, capable of brave new hues. Times too many to endure will spill never a happiness to be seen amidst all the suffering. Sadness will stop being an emotion and become a color. The world will singe you. In those times, do not abandon your soul to pursue some fleeting notion of happiness. Do not deny your rage, do not suppress your loneliness, do not undo your confusion. Happiness is a blanket, so we reach for it in blizzard, but happiness is too shallow to sate the need of the need for warmth. You will smother your poignant humanity by pretending away the poignant, calamitous humanity, assuming some numb pleasantness, merely happy. Your time will sometimes have happiness, but it will always be yours, and it is that youness that can bring you a greater state of being never [[incurred->mirrupt]] in mere happiness its ever imitate. Submerged in anguish seek joy that makes the world possible even when you feel impossible. Find someone that imbues your expressions transcendence even as you struggle to defy the silence. Cleave meaning in a joy suffusing the suffering its endless." Somehow it seemed to wither when grafted on my vine, yet did this not diminish the beauty of your belief, estranged haloed the lost prayers. How lovely your not frown against my smile refusal; burning yet one more of your treasures merely led you to seek out which heirloom might yield the most potent [[incense->mbombdust]]. Rescinding into your richness I religion despair sepairative. "Smotten of afterlives, I await actuarial reality."

We agreed to tell each other stories. You read from a book, as you believed. "In this time was there a Neerwelcz, fifth of a merchant's family, who had been given the smallest starthaul, and so was forced to open only a stall, and this by a fetid lake fed by the brackenates of Delwisz, the idol who celebrates the destruction of small things. This lake swelled a half mile from the promontory of the brackenates through the slums in which those of Sylme, the idol who celebrates transfusions kintsugi, then dwelled. Neerwelcz pursued this business to its meager yields, and so came upon a vicious hunger which quaked her body raw, so she could less and less persist the stall, until she did not. Ravenous, this this Neerwelcz was for eight years and one month, at which point, emaciated near death by the hardship, she went to the priests of Sylme for committing. Taken with pity at this beggar, who gnawed at the gravel from hunger, the priests agreed to take Neerwelcz, but upon agreement she began to float and radiate, and thus she hymned the Eighth Verse of Sylme, which revelates the unquenchable drunkenness of Sylme who sips the runoff of our ruins. Blessedly possessed by Sylme, glimmering Neerwelcz sought out the lake by which she had lived, and began to lap at it as a cat to the awe of many. For eight weeks and one day did she do this so ravenously that never did the lapping cease its intensifying pace, nor did she ever leak any of that which she drank, so that by the end the lake had been entirely swallowed. The people, giving thanks to Sylme for this blessing, began a festival for the quelling of the mire, in which Neerwelcz was honored as a prophet, and they began then to follow the teaching of the Eighth Verse and consumed without end the unglued. This festival attracted the entire slum, many dedicated to other demons, and some of these others began to conspire to refill the lake which had been drunk to prove their own verses. By a miracle of Reselike, the idol who forgives the unforgivable, a priest thereto struck the dry basin, and the water sprung freely a lake of sparkling clear, yet as this miracle was being celebrated by another festival, the brackenates kept at their foul work, and a single drop of their filth landed in the lake, the which smell summoned Neerwelcz, whose thirst was felt afresh, but because the drop could not be isolated from the whole lake, Neerwelcz drank again this entire lake. When those of Reselike saw this, they were infuriated, and the priest who had opened the spring was intoxicated with holy fury, and he stabbed Neerwelcz to prevent her from drinking the lake, but so swollen with water had Neerwelcz become that this stab [[gushed->mbombdust]] geysers that drowned the whole slum a swamp. This incident initiated a secticide, and so began another persecution of the Sylme." I never listened; never listed to port beneath what crashed; we had no port to recall; the rains soaked me. You read from my fears, my gods, such as I knew their possibility. I wept you stories that made less sense to me. "I don't remember my father, I remember the way he faded, a series of nights which felt like they would each be the last, but struggled not to be, because of the fear of what would follow, and, with the coming of the dawn, neither won nor lost. Reiterations a sallowing, repetition diminishing rasping diminuendo. Being there for someone in a way that underlines the absence. Relief hollowed with exhaustion guilt. No more echoed each once more. That's a lesson he taught me, I guess, which had to be shaped into sense by so many ruthless echoes thrashing me aftershocked. Only when they rhapsodized our innatities inane did I realize I was blaming him, instead of just hating him as I should, seeing how authentically he was that supporting tension. Not that I hated him, I loved him, but he was who had to be hated in his way, and that's what I loved against. Hate and love aren't separate, they're the push and pull of a morphous force that [[drained->mirrupt]] all surge and shape. Misery and purpose are the tensions of our testaments, said the acolytes, and I struggled to remember something of my father's face other than the lines, and I nodded, knew. We die to our destiny, and the mistake some make is to assume this as internal, but this is a truth you learn only from others, you bear inescapably to others. Moral despair that death does not happen to us, happens for those around us. Do we not die to our destiny as we lie on our deathbed, hopelessly viewed, utterly alienated? Voidveil unvisitants of this swallowing silence lost in a shivery hush of those who have newly lost. Our scripture is written with the silence we earn in the torment of words."

As a dream we were, yes, hence the beauty, so the fragility. To fall asleep is the precursor to genuine joy. The terror structures which bind us to the stark milk to mumble psalms dread believes blessedly naive our maroonment makeshifts a home. In the encounter, the [[embattling->membattling]], kindness like a miracle solutes the harsh; in our tearing needing emerges a bandage love; the deathday soils blossoms; where reigns the absolute contrapuntally summery nothings. We can speech across the depths, then shrug, smile, drink up a gentle night. Within you I rested, let go, undid the fragments' frames. Strung along the shards like bones broken limping the limbs let I this less amass to itself as a surprise. How could I? My cherished misery makes me. Torn awake eyeballs screeching seethes a sense of self. From the bare earth distinguishes us the struggle. Us the struggle. Washed clean of death in panic's gleam. From the animal anguish can be called human the tensions. Humanity is not beautiful but bloodforceflows. Force through to disordered construer. They gawp your pinwheels weft from pining reveals true to your color [[conformation->marbitration]] maze. Where to stray the say? Even if I could I couldn't. Even if I would I wouldn't. Even if I even understood what. I don't. I am but don't get it. Cannot receive me. Insufficient vessel. Incompletion stress hole. Interminably mine able. I who am supposed disclosed refuses to appear to not disappear in there failures closures. Lysosomic consciousness soldered of dead skins, sarcophagus saprophagous.

Did we hear heartstrings adagio? Nowhere to recluse the reciprocal lacks so we staled empty in our obvious. Fallen shorn, short, fallen short, shorn of where would we be... what was it, any of it, but loss slowly acquiesced? Seeming to seem. In the space of taking up space condemned by those who airily lurk beyond frame delimits. Years ago undifferentiated from today beyond the mind's cruel golden from how much less had then been lost, seeking in the refactor of this accumulated some [[theatricality->marbitration]] to replace the missing sensations, but how do you summon a scene from melded elapses? How do you stop cessation? Days and nights marked by orbits around the drain. What you wear will eventually wear you: I was someone else once, in those nights we dared to refuse the earth, but caveconcealed I speak myself in danks, drip revealed lies my soul onyx glimmerless, I submit to my ashen image, to my cold hallways do I votive pilgrim. [[Becoming->membattling]] yourself is learning all the battles you will lose but still marching the damning banner. As it is so it is; in my disgrace I discover dignity. You cannot take where I am empty away from me. Where might you have been is this hole I defend.

Wait not for the sky that outlives us. No infernal engulf will immolate shiver chains. Never will the rain wash us away. Soulless moons will mutter open no catacomb to catalyze our skeletals. There is no dawn coming to cure us this knighted. Simply strain down, strain up, this is why, be this thence. Solved now to the problem posed posed we perpetuate the [[ellipse->mirrupt]]. Persist I authentically so the results will be my own failure, not hers, never the world's. Grayscale smoked sepias ripple [[gleams->mbombdust]] too aged to accept motion so rose bleeds our beating tunneling through iron gods deposed in powder marbles burnt to granitesques throne rubble. Whole city squares simmer their cinders. Blocks and blocks of piles buried under powders kniving the harsh air. Skyscrapers scrape through shoes, impaled upon progression our towering. Shall they ask Towers of us I will collapse so as not to sully the obstruction with name. Immunocompromised nuncatrix guilty of genomen, if only, if only.

Would earth exoarmor resist my plummet to spirit or swallow it? Life the latter. Stay steady, stay and go, our soles convince us what our souls doubt. How many shadows would we pass under? Now silence smothers so much noise no mores. I am so cold is my emotion enmeshing its physicality in my skin networks' buzz. When we were lost in the streets I saw ourself splashed in every pane in our hurry's hearthier home, and I used to want to believe we would slip through tighter and darker alleys to an outside this inside this our touches spark. Somehow blazed all the future, burns all foregones dawns prescient, this [[bombdust->mbombdust]] orange builds the tangerine daze to themes I used to fear without knowing this face as this fear foaming even yet in my unlit temples incensed with migraines merging with thoughts molten to pangs. At first I tried to keep track of the streets, with a bitter tang grimace give directions, but the memory of spaceless places only rushing in their gravity could get gutted the fantasy and seeped in phantasms. I cough. And again. Cracked concrete lines us cleft along a fissure to assume a sainted amounted upon whose prominence glimpse we the cleared of us invocation to presence. A burnt out trust perhaps preserved as a monument makes us meander further west towards a laugh I suppose no longer matters. The trick of the present is to let us leave the past liquid. What is the future would I ask were I not so needing to focus on rising to breathe as the beam crushes. How hard it hurts your shoulders inures you to ignoring your spine's pleas to splatter in a final [[gaping->mirrupt]] rotting. I think each time I will switch shoulders, then I do, then I regret, thus the right aches a thicker fizz. Break me as I deserve, I'm a failure to appear, annihilate what is there I fear. Crush me, hate me cruelty. I need to be murdered. I lust for killed. No. No. Knowing a thought is wrong does not stop you from thinking it. I wish everyone knew. Electromagnetic pulse of a field I cannot explain but which interferes in every sighted. I wish everyone knew so I did not have to.

I slip into the old faith and find my feet not catching so I slip, and for a second the beam seems grateful for this acquiescence, but its tyranny proves white shock. Crunched edges of world peel to fold and undress the black that bides beneath. Jolts. Agony glues my tongue to the palate obstructing the deluging wail. Some things are said in a place increasingly beyond. Anger in the exhausted tic of [[recognition->marbitration]], but the fugue preserves me from fury, pain melts to paralysis, just below its surface these eyes cross, focus on the pain, everything out of, the pain elevates the body, like floating in a slow indigo jetstream as glitter bells drone to tones. Almost I see the jolts as they surge tear the tendons, burst these arteries. Wince inciting light balls blast my eyelids solar. Spasms slush the lucidity. Nowhere but the fire. Contagion blurbles from festering pores whose porous presence venom sickens this brain. Veins choke the misread brain's misread command. Not that I was but that I am what may say I was and is condemned to say I am but never my dreamed over false futures. I have no power anymore I weep to the hysterically amused I who says have you ever. We are condemned when we are. Worse is the wordless with which we suffer it. What are we to say of it. Would I release with a sigh and a dream were it not for this strange and desperate need to mean. Envy of a presumed [[condition->membattling]] glimpsed in hilt black cells infernos us to a trust that flings us over the void to chase and encase ourselves in stars. Was it not so long ago? Don't you remember how we met? Isn't that really the only thing I do, the rest hints trailing it?

Vitreous regret slurls in vains, wish I was shockingly beautiful, but [[mirrors->membattling]] can only be smashed sufficiently to admit me mundanely beautiful, and what good is the sort of beauty capturable by so pathetic and overused a word as beauty, like people admire a beautiful horse, it’s disgusting, the word, when I should be painfully piercingly dazzling, beauty sublime soulbreaking, because insofar as they grovel my goddess can I resplend in torment symbol pathos, can I endure this elegance humanique. Beauty is the extent they will admit my presence, so I want to bludgeon them beauty, I want beauty so stark it moltens to massacre, because otherwise, what altering? If you are ugly, none shall pity your humanity, sans which why suffer, beauty of suffering is you can make others also, but if you can just be beautiful, brainburstingly beautiful, then you can be the angel of all humiliations, then you can die satisfied they will not explain you. [[People->marbitration]] should remember me and feel disgustingly flesh. If I transit their incomplete pyroclasm elegant, then might they learn their being as broke me. Beauty to mutual the misery. Before their disaveil I voluptuous flourish this cinnabar sideless surcoat cascading gold brocades to loop them in the leering hell sinners caged how my desire spars. I shall my radiate majesty as they seek. Sailing past islands in a prayer until a rock wrecks me. You will know when you see it, the image that sees you. So I wish, I wish, I wishn't. I wish she was me in the mirror. Nyneme nowhere nurtured gashes the dusk to nostalgic dreams, how I wished and wish I could hold... is the sun inside our skulls, so these fevers flare... why do breaths bring us less oxygen as we age... everything aches, most of all my longing for you... I cannot be who we should be, only this honest loss of them... sorry am I someone. Who? You smother me into nonearth begging who, where is Myneme that I might possess her, and I can only laugh my lungs' last gasp, I am possessed by you.

A [[painting->mirrupt]] sustains the next struggler among shades. Not that it can, not that it is enough, some more than this frustration, but when fanged by unseens to a daze of lupine [[colors->mbombdust]] tingling moonlight in an inked iris the kiss burst of clarity suspends you in clouds for the length of your chest's resilience not to let go, to reanimate, to begin and end, relent deprived to rapture. Death of the hand no longer there teasing the eyes now here with closure and so it did and no more did this world did I let it. Brief beautiful. Before a painting you stand uncertain in time. Like a limit there are infinite gradations of a period that pulls into a period of gradated infinity. After you've seen enough you realize there will never be enough of it. When you pull yourself away, why? What isn't there that's there, what good is new before complete? Maybe we turn to return to incompletion. Prisms to seas in the desire for more imperfects. After the eternal summit: the rush of fresh life falling. Sometimes we suffer to seek hope. No perfection I wouldn't recognize hanging on a wall. Who says we lost faith in the precious beyond when we cast no longer souls to a heaven. Were it not for jitter skitter spider eye glitch figures sewing a shroud crowd I could spill to placeless. Haunts tingling your shoulders as you through your skull pickup gaze feedback and register yourself as an object obstructing. Glimpsing paintings at angles to accommodate the alienation desired: we must all be lost alone.

Yearn in the strain of the day the portaling pastward to harbor the borne to outwards, sanctity beyondness, our hope our symbols transcend, what is writ is written in stars, our fates foretold in retrogrades and ascendancies, could we but read in the rifting the generator, the unspeakable plus which wave after wave tierfall downrushes us through incompletions and unencapuslations that mar our coursing to mosaic, the ever engine amolting myriad, magic of the mythic lapsarian unto apse angst lavishes viciously stripped mortally broken being fleeting. I shall cast of this concomitance my deathmask muse. Nothing lasts as long as its need. Bittersweet [[ruptures->mirrupt]] in the real, the gap we briefly belive in, the void that resumes it, groove carvers of collapsing paradises, can we not love the innocence of gods, genesising horizons infinity perfect, trusting this forever shall endure pure, only for its central incision to congeal to aware to wound nihil, the again again, cosmos desolation soul. Been hurt, been beautiful, been vicious, been luminously mute, but never have I been hopeful, because the future is what ruins. Could I persist a painting, mythmade I might lux fury sate, but striae strive, how shall I sculpt a terror the winds will scatter, a fever whose shattered fractures your bones, [[ashbreeze->mbombdust]] painter of blossoms loss. If only we could die alive! Murdered and endurer shall a goddess bless the waiting with why. Imagery immaculaterra in which, consciously, to let go, xylograph wound in bloom, evancresive of no so precious, fluxury glitter of flow whirling eternally, to simply be passing. If only we could choose our slains! Jeweled chalice, kill me strained such vintage, savor me timeless, dance dreamwave through saliva silks, elimerge tongue modal.

Venan to the tenan vambraces flair solarity, bear they bodies as thus this blare. So why disposed I in their nondeath vertex simmer lair, sacs null emulsify flush siftless, simply presence missing this? If I could escape, scrape through their flesh to sew in my slain dormant, scilla slit nictitate, smile ghost. In their armor feel I as I always do. How we collide, the violence, clash known. My shields will never break, stagger down past my squire, spit upon the mirror bloodgruel. Envelop. [[Invelope->mbombdust]]. Deveil. Develop. Ravage this cage availer, murderous lure id all your. Removal of my helm to what proves once more my face. Knife glints in the drear as I slit my hair, uneven dishevels bobbing about a determined. Removal of my chest, plate on which the insufficient feed. Removal until astride the horse pallid I annunciate a pox calypso of the eternal wayfarer. Ride forth upon the tilt disease nativity. Victory surely actuates tensive to materiated... Vehemence proliferates in our aches as we lie unsatisfied under stars cold. Endlessly enemies amount, but do our struggles, shall a peak preside our scrabbled up slopes, will we lie buried beneath the snowcrowned? Born with a bounty of grief we must expulse impose our projections others so they shall shiver gnash our purity peace. Alas, were mortality to pace us to its course, would we have enough time to mourn and enjoy. As it is, we must mix them to meaning. Haunted bodies bobbing in the tumult just like me, at peace, wreckages webbing them tapestry, lapis lazuli starry with chalk, so merciful sinking in the sea, you and all your companions die as one, no judgment or chance or passion separates you, simply the ground gives way, the waves overtake, and in the throes, peaceful, not even the sound of your screams, ten thousand sculptures of the ether, a city of dreams dissipating, as if poppies so fiery the field lit up seraphim song. You will get lost to alone embossed with each absence you earn. Used to breathlessly promise my sisters I would never stop seeing them, imagining a cloudship we could sail on from dream to dream, adventures never needing to be grounded. I have broken too many promises to regret any asunder. If I saw my sisters now, would I be able to see their faces as they were then? So what's it matter if we're apart, when we're not there anymore? None no longer exist for the voyage, honesty [[fractured->mirrupt]] in its goneness, truth as it always is, elsewhere, where the cloudship me still exists, behind my eyelids, when the dreams go deep enough to overcome the forlorn, so who shall call the promise broken? When I sink deep enough into the blackness never to ground again, then shall I find myself asail, they beside me, free of earth. Cauterize all emotions the second you sense them coming on. It'll attenuate life, absolutely, an atrocity, sure, but the value is that you'll always win. These cretins with beetle eyes, you think they're going to skitter wounded to their lairs ruminating on your moods? No, they're here to hurt their way to a desire, and if they can't hurt you, if you're a shriveled husk of a human barely capable of convincing yourself to shove your lifeless limpness through another suncycle of this scraping caging calloused, then you'll see them shrink away from you, they'll respect you then. The point of power is to erase everything about yourself so that you can be repurposed to whatever ascendancy. Because you kill or quarantine anything that interrupts the animating projection, so if you're pure historical function, then you'll be safe, even comfortable, even spiritually at peace. Have you ever wondered why crusaders can pillage a pilgrimage to worship the holy sepulcher? Because they have cleared the way, there's no one left between. Don't be caught between! They will stumble through you as darkness, then can you slink behind them, cut their throats, collect their offerings, build a cathedral, and they will worship you, why wouldn't they, saint radiant of ruby and revenge in stained glass splendor, annihilation angel they will beg with bloodsplatter to pass over.

Your held in my holding on harrowing pale... "Our world is growing too old, Myneme, like me. Too many preponderances pound the plane hails of godstranges, knot the aortic tendencies complexities gordian, perplexed I gaze upon anitya tremulously shimmering again the titanic tyranny illooms of old, world in convexity convocated, more and more the mutters conclave deep masses agog, mechanizer daemons [[irrupt->mirrupt]] bending the gravities about their revelatory injuncts, fever and seethier serpentines snarled around knowledge ever afresh transgressions, vices novel vent upon the feld, nervelines quake rupture to tower tors torrid and terror, synaptic clauserites of springing cusp, distensions [[profusions->mbombdust]] riddling the mire mountainic, how much more before the world collapses inward to primordial ooze anew, how much more futures can we add, how many more ideas can be had, we're dying to mind, that's why, Myneme, listen to me, that's why I bequeath myself to study, because wars will now be fought first by scholars, then the yoked, and I shall march ceaselessly upon them, our condemned to follow, with ingenuity after ingenuity until the engines of entropy overtake all borders, and we are wreathed in fire simplified. No revenge aftershocks quite like educating the furies. You must find such a cause to benefactor in your bequest, should you wish to ghost reign over conflicts contagious of your straineds." I electrify with the idea mine. "I presume myself in the purr roar before the pounce, flash when the fangs bare when mawblack hollow yawns wide the killkiss cavernous, the desire for this violence to fill. Sustainers of dusts, sip the pressed flesh juices, damned song of the siren marooned. Observed in furs, I preresume my sentenced to masque. Vow I to hurt whoever needs to be to make me happy, because that is how I have been broken to relate to this world. "Dripped from a hanger husks we bonecurl to fetal, rebud sprawl splattered, but we cannot bend back far enough to balk the gods behind us, but I will bendbreak my skeleton's in fulcrux, flop about a flurry floodlugging sludgeslush through gutters gaping my gawping to glear, oozeflesh foment to feral percolate capillary lahar creepmasque crawlrasp a bubble of body blown, snotty glottal shriek, shriek, oh God, I'm broken, my bones are broken, have to stitch me together, sew me up, lye cleanse clear me to seam hole shear, you have to help me, fear, no, will never ask for help, I will die snapped and dignified. They cannot ken how to bury me is my spirituality. Humiliation is the inevitable consequence of others aware, so why not gnash their brains gutted, wistwrithe pathetique in the lack? Dignity is closure protected over time. Subject of the condition, why not suck out the coelision, there enshell enshrine? The problem with multitudes is ken not myself sans thousands fractures muddling fetid my intentions to the venial scraveners, a you ridiculous in a retinue. Daggergleam glaring at a suckling criminal considering whether this comes of you, would I not rather an abortions necklace, queendom of caged? I could be myself if everyone was dead." Nyneme smiles, but I don't, then, slowly, do.

Who am. [[Non->membattling]]. Revil revel. Lavishous. Used to the enemy himness watch waver in the darkness, wondered whether I rippled, what from his view why, what possibly persists in this guise to so beguile, how so infantile they are, bauble dazzled by dangling, insipid, and insipid I incipient to this role, and yet the acting actuates, gold headdress bangly belling your swivels and sways you genuinely the guiltform goddess, slippers velvet I would pace across the cold to butterfly knife my nails crimson in their starers crudely, as wailing they writhed I loved who I was til the rush rends and nape sweatsoaked I slumped in the divan desire to leap from this soiled and soar but splattered I semblance stain sulk. Fantasy disjuncts identity, intensify reverb the hollowing resumption jolts, tatters, fetters. Who stays who after you realize how. Border between authenticity and kitsch nonexists. Be embarrassed, any way you like. If you cycle through the fashions fast enough, maybe, maybe you slip the gauge, can rather be loathed for their lies untrue to you. Which is the wrong wrong? What kind of child would believe in a right wrong? In n dimensions maybe is the syzygy yes, searching desperately for the wrong wrong wrong, or perhaps the wrong wrong wrong wrong, or maybe simply the left wrong, heaven suddenly of the selfgone. Absolute ust persist in wrong, right? Since everyone knows of course that two wrongs make a right, so if you had a right right, what you really have is a wrong wrong multiplied into a wrong wrong, or would it be that two wrongs, having made a right, are irreversibly in the right, that is, upon the second wrong, you are now in the right, the wrongs are inextricably constitutive of that right, so a right right is the second wrong within the right you had to act, which therefore justifies a second generation right, which in turn profuses manifold novel wrongs, thus within each right you have a sunder to domain, evental distalities emergent to set wherein the wrongs are the right wrongs, that is, to right one's wrongs, one must first err into the right which emanates orientates the chirality of the righted wrongs, so that, rather than two wrongs making a right, a right rips the plane to new polarity by which possibilities are made wrong per the permuted mutation to new genera from which specifications arise the [[arbitration->marbitration]] threshold of sway, candelbra mandelbrot incandescent galactic to reproductive valences which in the first wrong selected swerve emerge as wrong, distinguishing extinguishing execution response, that which redoubles the right into itself as mode such that it references an array whose each constituent cardinality cannot be isolated from the right except as wrong, infinite variability divergence from an initial zero point energy, the becoming of being defined only insofar as it maintains the form momentum from, ineluctable contours of causality caulking our damned which derive arrives to the riven drive whose self reference reflects on its formulation a destabilizing agency focalize, pure unpredict of the predicament which wrongs its wrong into a right that recalibrates the wrong into wrongness as such, self qua materia divestiture infolding, reliquary of alterity of worship, or I'm not sure, maybe I'm wrong. Inrite somata wouldwind wings halical the dove descending, enuncinations gathered in bedlam sense us to pulsar plexus plenum revelate inspira, convergent conversion conversant to melilect, apogee fallwitch of blood primeval, so sybil I bel. Actuate unmaker mynad from reins gnostic of reigns from heavens falling. Distory shuns respecter the lains, searchward reversers of better arraign this shell then preserve this heaving. Scarspent curse, divergence, self embody signet lie, dispersion, a voice twine in me, discursive, written signature in blood primevil, pall as vice.

Isn't this the [[whereness->membattling]] nonsurvivor? How do the rivers rend the maintainslide? Please delear me the splay. Underknotter we closure lens the yellowly filtering terminus. Cell cold clink of these creatures in swimming like creeps down my nape, clammy dripping down my spine bone by bone. Connective venns issues inky in links splink splush tingling a sinking feeling, nexus nervous makes us furtive, brows damp, turbid glances, spilled quill frowns portending some secret draws close. Suppress alarms blare inside my fishbowl skull, submergement sirens searing bubbling underblaring, foaming thinking frantic. Lanks of slip coat my limbs. Spurring thumpbeats regong echo flares to migraine maroon my inside eyelids, inside my teeth a buzzing drilling to escape a scarshout lie. Truths ooze between my toes squelch squished. Barracudas they disembark in the gush reel jolt, caught. Tiny fumerole blemishes on my portside neck to drool rescissions swallowed. Taste of weeks ago I drank curdled milk just below my uvula lingers froths. Molt into the go, flow, slow, spool. Complain about not being real but no reality underlies, no secret genuine obtains, nothing I noun. Insofar me spoken solely in sighs to midnight whites oozing over creaking beams. Not nihil, named damnation. Alice, they say, thus and thus, and why not, they're more right than me, because they're not me, and I'm not alright. I'm not alright. I'm actually doing awful, and it's this fighting to keep afloat that drains the most, desireless desecrating purity lost not by acts nor by birth but merely nevermore, cloaked by tilts elongating phalangeal on the copseboard hauntshunt shut rattling to unleash upon these bruised by praying knees seized with exanima serenes. Blissful before Saint Peter gazelocked crackling laughter like lightning bugs in sweltering distortion demanding the damnation, swiftly swiftly, soon as I enter hell I can stop pretending, forever understood. How can demons torture me more than meaning emanating? Incineration joy: soul stilled to skin instilled ceasemous. Intellection siloed, tranquillity of buried alive, stuck just right here snug no matter how much you shriek and thrash. Incapacity to extricate self from faux innate worship turbidity extempore obsapielessense because therein functions the selving programmatic elucidates the swerve to tangent occlusions, inclusions reverberating in hollows of its meldic contingency dynast, as the esperial carvying in ystrand nullmilliation host I'll. More than the milieu the milling elision elicits is the delusional isivetych. I keep falling beneath the floating world, because I am nothing more than empty space obscured, mists presence. Semblance blur is native, knot vis a genesee vergement, meaning in the afterglow backpropagated overdeterminating, causal seekers of our aftermath axiomatics, teemers faceless [[crowding->marbitration]] the crier in the market hawking radiation of our sepairative soporphistic, diversions yclad I veerit steepening to peek, missed eyetea we avering envisit cloudedly shimmering the source cataerracts encoded in visibles, ineluctable modalities thereof. Evade it? It's pervasive, inevitably invaded, rearranged rearraigned nominative casive, actress created of starstuff solidefied. So it knows.

Inward and outward flow simultaneous vertigo. Perception and conception forced, immutable forced, indicators dictating. Progressive equals transgressive, processing equals concessions, profess confessional expective and receptive, God knows what I have done, demands to debase me weeping it to the patient perfect silhouette whispering penances. Humiliates amounting corpus to sign. No nonamended blended into their they as they watch, they're watching, draining, wish bloodless to skinslag along the litterfall felice. Scape on slipplane pursed. Over and over me. No depth, pure image, pure surface planished. Erasure of noncoordinating the elusive, eluded, conclude into pure surface, sheer image. Can a surface be pure? Absence of place produces our refixtures [[nullscribe->marbitration]] plied, visible siphoneds serac, a veil leeching: in their arrival they carry with them lands, in my awaiting what has awaited them I a headland crag fissure into the spray freeze shouts basaltic to beg the winds more than this: turning back to the domain, seeing behind the ridge curve so much wasted and wreaked, accepting to drown in this. issection acutes crushbracing stirrups, wriggle against, palms and achilles like shrieks in the squirm. Flare clinical of a needletip dazzle already droppy with injects. Into flesh is it and moans. Tamped down pressure crowning my skull like pressing down on the syringe like pressurizing down into nondirection, graphene gridded imprisoned, bulk conscruciation pelters the drizzle zap, pus oozing like sap subcutaneous, epidermic paroxysm plume of bloodsigh cannonshot from the strapped struggling. Leukemic bubbling the wild recking for depth, axis sealant suffocated, bound, bound into flat, actress the protoplast, no, slip pane, plane slip, skip frames, exist less, demolish polish tombed, franticize. Catatonic the strophe wilts before its anti, why not simply the ruin and the rest? Blessed those not born fighters, who simply outcome and endure their [[naked->membattling]] and alone. Well, I ought at least to bear the first barb, shall he cherish my dawnraw ultraviolence to their sievling piercements. Dissolve the bay, repiece the frayed, immix in the calcificates prophesies lost ossuaries commensurate kneehil crux I fix to calve the varied skull gothic inversung cull verlust, plague grave cwmlossus, terminus est. His ship beleaguered tilts into the blue of my wise, guise you list mes, please of this storm any immunity summon, idyllity mute to overplay wovens. Recognize me here player of this din, dull perfect to grind, knightsmithy, because if I cannot in their chain males hide, how then repel the blade? You think you can get under my skin? You can, actually it's super easy, I'm so thinskinned that even talc tells me to stiffen up, you're not impressing anyone with your moody extravagance, just admit you're terminally soft and slither back in your hole to die, and I'm like, oh, you're one to talc aahahaaha, and anyway, so I bit into the talc and ripped it apart like a lion a gazelle, that is, gracefully, elementally poignant. I killed talc. I'm not ashamed of it. Well, I am a little bit, but mostly that when in the moonlight white I silhouette stalked the halls creeping heart attack spasm still whisper of the chill as you stare into the night sea swirling to with pall fingers over several hours infinitesimally creak your door tingle ajar to watch you lie in bed so snug and self satisfied I could not help but leap frantic and wrestle claw you bone cold natural, I must admit not nearly as elegant as the lion, the gazelle. The truth is, the reason I had you killed was that you got under my skin, and that's why, even though you're dead, you win, I can't sleep without biting through my lip. Witches' sabbath slip free of my skin and fly into the infernal gyre to kill you again damned worse, but you'd slip deeper into the fire phantom of the demon choir chanting now comes the infinity zero where not even I can reach you, lack the evil to eloquence you such devilry matched, I will burn the surface you slip under, lips curled against my spilling over again and again and again, you're so much deeper than me, you're a grander horror than I. But you're dead, and I'm not, so we have our consolations.

Coursers serpentining prevalence forces overwrites our circuitries about the witherwatch whither rorschach sweltered grasping for time's alights fastens me to the mountain to torture train me murky diversioness, cyst directrix capacitant of this defier fused, inculcate me cruel, need must be perform, unindo terrascourscar. Entities hypnotic zymotic noetic firefly illumine semiotic spillblack swirls through stenosis eversionates ionizers, [[hypoprocessed->marbitration]] programmatics disassembling morphemes overself sundered to autonomous, severed tentacle crawling. Dewire my remind concencussion crash fader incense trails iridescence flashing sparkshades eyeball needling to seizures as encephelitis nausea hallucindiaries infernalize neurons a spiral sickness aphasia collapse, sprawled blank burning oozing twitching wept. I don't want to be who I have to want to be to survive, which is why hate myself, craven, cannot aver my self avenger to threnody of ravens. Sigh sleight perspire have become if want an I to irrupt isle beautify felicited, demon of daemons. Usurer of abuse, lend it unto me and. Yearn to hurt so much hurting you I love so the love gravitational accretes disrupts the whirled. Is it plausible I glance waspish upon processionals. Invulnerate the revulse effect to vanquish quivering before dysglory. You can amalgamate monstrous in nihilations and annihilations of I and they. Determinate your hex encoded in differance, sublime design the deified strain. Antiheroic askance convexes vaulted heavenlies in posed in tragedy masterly, barometer of the howl beast solosearist, depths poetic neptunal, baryphonic beam countersings the elementine. Become terrible, terrorable, able of the terror, able in the terror, respun and bled in the bearer weight assumption, ascension of chains, one undead of the error genesis as darer of revelations upon the hydra ride veilless of mars, carrier of the [[genegative->membattling]] stranded. Desire. Desire. Designifier gulf howling opening the desirous maw, horror in the hopemist silkyoukhet. Worship me luscious godless. Have you felt it, ever you seen it between blinks, borderlands on nothing? No? Decompression stillness. Heartbeat flange as time syrups so the echo stretches simply to drone, traveling in the wave elongate, ranging the awaiting the rebound at the speed of sound ever unto yawning causality, stillness in the chest like death, stillness in the breast like peace, summery yawn convoked out swansong lovely of lateness, dazzle glitter pitter of sundrops on sea on beach, horizon brilliance which summons your not to return, in the ire reside pensive of joys hollow in this jubilate shoren sweetly melancholy obliterate in the lyre's sorrow disorientation jolt notes to sprawl the skipscape impartition, rest and less atheme."

Painted the room wails as crowders into its trauma hollow overflow the anticipate, flange howl to hush, cardiac arrest sallow sag stares under monstrous stags mounted, danse macabre: as we are now so too will you be. Seeping canoptic from fragment expressives I [[doppellate->mdoppellate]]. Immenseness taut immelmanns in a face fraught of frowns and grins. Nervousness barbs the [[pulse->mkithara]].

Sylph elisive [[verbechoing->mkithara]] their eyes flickery resilken to starsight whys bleezing on the colorfall splull firework fizzling the phosphorescent daze glazed faerie fountains vulbing in the night skymight jaspers, jades, and amethysts. Haunted molten they peer loom lunar. Whether wither nor slither free we selvedom imagine they tomography of our netherneeds suppressed [[superimpose->mdoppellate]] on our beneath seething, inside outlied nee. One stag shriek struggles its way free of the mount, halfhewn it lops on the sterile and squiggles sapience to moan in morse simultaneously: the world will not end but those who make it will, world stillness without ending; never desire eternal life, though the life may not end, the living will, eternally imprisoned in the living will; there is a lymphic place beneath happiness where the interstitials leak, venous porous venomous uranic urinor jaundice cirrhosis syrupy gauzeclump bloodclotted sallow swallowing wallowing sunken, you are beneath the floorboards of felicity detritus dampness amossing; you will most know you are not wanted when they notice you as if you've never been there, though you've been being there so long you have no where to elsewise; suddenness a long time coming.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Maximation automata of space they modulate Ragepush and fearquell sieve and seethe Maxilla fractures of fractal modalities Melancholy and mist eludes wistful and worried Whilst love decays to hate defrays to love, [[Meliorism->mmeliorism]] crusades towards totality worship Reckoned in an amassive constructor Logic terms to binds vortices polymerase Reconstituting [[stochasticism->msondervolver]] to concordance Matrices of actuation presumers ziggurat, Temple of congregating to productivity geometric Matter monolith layering history zigzagging..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Exchange of infinity into form [[unparalleling->msummit]] Formulates a condition coordinate in ordination Excavation of beneath plane unpointables [[Refusion->mrefusion]] reconstitutes segmentation cruces Crucifying the mortifiable to sheol Referents upon negation axes crucial Culminators of cast into out outsewn shelters Survivor manifier of swerve beyond [[flexure->mboundaries]] Culling stricture semblance sheaves scattering sheer Dimensional beyond pretensors obligators Incisting standardization of performance, Dimeric oubliette preferencing oblativity Construing congruents to conjugate gates, Logic peraction flow electrically to guarantee, Construction of catatonia gatherers..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Desirers they drove dinsmoke to dervish Defiant of swirlcloak jinns of engines Despoilers to desolation solutes of dermals Pinwheels of puncture diesel flametrail easels Taskable to aesthetic of burning aliveness Pincers between ideals and reals easements Negotiated by smokespeaker mystic drinkers, Tinctures brewed to shaman perceive believe, Negations of accepted [[boundaries->mboundaries]] driveling Consciousness generated from seedling sufferings Espoused core of conceptual [[inmesh->mrefusion]], Contemplation gyre of incendiary suffusals Plotted upon this [[corporscope->msummit]] mercurial, Espousers of claims no I possesses, Plosive esperials slain in belie mercessives..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Conduct us conducive to improve Through proving I within the storm Concentrates will into is imperium, Project endless of progress to elusive Sunmist [[summit->msummit]] where gods kiss elision, Processional of destructives eluminimating [[Positivation->mrefusion]] its errancy to order, How we envision ourselves over universe, Possessive antibody [[ordinative->mboundaries]] ordinance, Solipsistic devourers imploding to blank, Nervousness stint in heartswell antimonies, Solarity deconstructors raving the void’s blaze Until even they dissipate delirium vanished, New now nothingness their worshiped perfect Untombs resumes tombine sans ever their irruptive vanquished..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Instrumental mull of incidence according [[Circumspectral->mboundaries]] fugue annuling iterations Instigates of potentiality verve to piano accede Serenading subterfugues which waft clouded Over boiling minds steaming supplicatory Sere [[compositors->mrefusion]] who [[superimpose->msummit]] clockwork Angels of differance mutability choir, Daemons of intervals who intervene in integrals Angling the parallax to vertex pitch chosen Inversion of capacity to inferential closed systems Luresmith of essences forever enveloped, Invasion of coordinations infernal feverish pressurized systole..."]

Crowding about me endlessly these purely superfluous people, mere mechanism overridens, hyperorganism rotating presenting new growth appendages, studied mannerism of why either of us need live, waking to dryshine of this bearing also. At least some of them like Lord Latimer are sufficiently greedy and cowardly to [[resemble->mdoppellate]] humanity, but these expression blank powersacs bleatly recombinating the rote around their complicits, how should I not shudder before them as before the mirror? Why should I worry whether they will support me? Have not fretted a judgement since the first slap. Do you worry whether your imps shall support you? No, you assume so, and when they don't, rage the disruption closed. Shall everyone betray me? Thus their loyalty, never imagined otherwise. I am here not because I was helped but because when they defaced my clawcarved terror imposing I devoured them defaced and scoured we howled to the heaving moonrebuke. Nobody wants me, but I persist, and will persist in as many graves as gorgeous my canvas. To my hollow ululoom elevaricate I the appear plasmic psalm, [[kithara->mkithara]] kitsune. Who is it you've turned against me? Nonrhetorical the question, genuinely I've forgotten their names. Or is it that you've amassed your own retinue to outperform my staged a coup de grace? Neither impresses me, because they derive from you, and who are you who cannot empathize with me, or is it jealousy? I can see how you could be jealous, I'm a jealous selfbond, won't allow you my imperious inposed. Flee, flitter to your trifles, I welcome how you thwart me, such irruptions baroque vines, and I pleasure the complex climbers. Arrogance is the necessary virtue of the whipdream. I esprit the pall of the singstrand melodies this enmity I strain to either victory, negation or humiliation.

Centralized to hated and prosecuted I enduce ecstatic the exstasis cinders. When electric the [[alienativization->mdoppellate]] touch slipped under my future wondered whether a future could be made mine, artifusion nervelation, but so many years simply passed, I nor the complexity objectives. Luxuriated the influence false, pursued the [[elegance->mkithara]] of the dagger to nonbloodshed, counterconspired the deluge deserted, dessicataract in which raw solely I thrived, so I hoped the pearls to protend, beg my broken compressed to fused, but time refuses all but our passing or non. I don't want to be underlies all my fantasies. Every someone I could pretend is less and less than the gentleness I wish would swallow nihilate. I'm so alone, and I don't know how to stop being. My attempts drastic to synthesize simply spasm me upon this frigid desperate. And the thing is, I actually really don't want to admit this, ego destructively embarrassing, not just embarrassing as in wish I didn't remember but embarrassing in the way that expunges your ability to feel like this adds up, embarrassing as a fatalism, embarassment that humiliates your desire to try, but I feel I have to admit it for the sake of us both, I wish I was.

Preciously impervious to boundary I met Nyneme where sacred the chants die out, upon that precipice vertex we newly entuned our dissonations to shell ensorcell, mysteria majestifier in which rubies we resode. How long did the condition protain? Long for us to respiral the percolatelyes enddies. Religious of her vows how I harrowed out. Muttering into you, muttering into me... Tumbled out of the spell her consonance aurora coronet upon my lidless as shivery I supplicated the cold, cold upon my palms ashsigns, selene beatitude as penumbra coiled inside. Overtakeness cursives vines around my indigo wish curled to frame the, the, the moon is not here, only the overhang opaqueness. Determined to pierce the distance to claim assert intention rigids, but fuzz persistence excoriates eyeballs. Grabbed at my, eah, my palms, my hands, these marks burn! [[Riddled->mstart16]] on the rawspark wriggling shriekwreathed craving shut that shudders beyond taste of touch. Pulse migraine rips halfthoughts to cinders strands. Rocking on refusal to congeal. Strung upon quivery a thread through I sewn seroserenade selene beats no, suffocator vox, dualities durate of terminals entwined ubiation in my semiconscious philtre, lyrics phrigian to phosphorescence recall of losts and loveds sepulchered in meridians we never azimuth to borderous paradise. Nearly enclosure, but a space to note.

I found her as nobody had before, inside, isn't there where Nyneme resides? Could pull from electrified dormancy stories we could insleep under decades waves weathering edifices no more must we lifeward climb, abyss palaces obsidian and oblivion bejeweled, grace of no more the daze of days, clung in hyacinth tempests a resilience resinous to glisten amberly ages to aeon, ghosts mocha warm core for serendibite shieldsharps, aboding presevered in erasure unrolling time to told, as we have you, fellow strand. We shall worship together infinite disruption of terminal enfolding. Shadowspeech wholeness swallowed severance, evanescent specters merged in palimpsest palms, ivory insignia in my left, ebony scar in my right, both furnaces, saliva incinerates the body parched bristles this thrashing corpus twists broken upon the floor of fuchsia fog. Gasping, suffocate nearly to cracking my skull in winces, but lightshaft breath bursts through my eyes nearly popping to my brain flood silent verandah I seem almost to remember. Nosebleeds trickle the same downward arrows my ears spill. Sunny whiteness I step through seeming almost to remember, my palms burn. I am [[awake->mstart16]]?

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XVI''] --- Jostled by a body hitting me, am I walking, I am walking, we are marching, there is daylight? I've missed time. We are marching. I look at my palms; they are tattooed ivory and ebony. I collapse; I'm marching. Everything in my head hurts. Everything in my head. Marching. Floors, malaise, and a slow evaporation. Smudges and impressions lingering after distinction's salt: ancient graveyard weathered of names; factory ruin and its swamps of failure; lone building in an echo cave envious; licking belltones mortem, solemnity reverb choirs; pale figurines flanging ballet, sway pushes circle curve bones, entities not seen but mystically sensed; ghost cities uttering inside your whispers; entire universes parabolating between [[creation->mcreation]] and [[negation->mnegation]] as the being denies the world and accepts sanctity in an irreversible loneliness; tension lank on the pressed lurches where must we go. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Out of the beautiful blackweld sparks a sign, script, sublime: dozens of yes they are men accepting us into their certainty. Held taut against their rhythmic refusion, shoved into the floor face first and I breakthrough to starsigns of recombination, you are in the presence of insinuous potential rippling through your holds, [[mesmerizing->mmesmerizing]] your catalexis procrea, [[procedure->mprocedure]] shun, procedural, you are procedurally bound to duress, duration of essences wrapped in enchained wherewithall. Bound in a cell, we began to [[argue->margue]], as nature riptended.

Slapped to the ground patterning starpoint and shooting out my breath in shock, a looking up, a brief and curious innocence, then polearm, three hours of fading in, out, only on one side will you know the difference: Pyeisa gagged awash in invisible shouts; Leiska [[simmering->msimmering]] dignity in the kicking, pushing, face down procession; sprinting men wielding weapons, men too burly and [[naked->mnaked3]]; oily grip in which the choked feel safe; smothered to a sleepy warmth, rest; blackened brands on whitening skin; Meluoi in absolute neutrality stasis; Berakh in elegant ease relaxed to their command, as if to welcome respite from his own progressions; Vasya lolling his head on the shoulder of a man holding his binds, batting eyelashes, sticking out his tongue; Mylecz in a doorway, tripping on a stair, yanked backwards half choking; cold and wet cavern walls; Kostiye thrown; thrown into a cell; Yakacza landing on my body; doors closing; eyes blinking adjustment; I'm bleeding? Blinking and gauging this bleeding. Watching myself slip from me envious. How can a head have so many orifices and yet you cannot get out? Bulgepumps in my ear leaky. Pyeisa's [[voice->mvoice]], but wasn't he gagged?

"Fjelske, Volya, you were on rightwatch! Kitty nab your seeballs?" "They were in the brush, how's I supposed to see the hid?" "That's the whole point, that's exactly as you're supposed to see!" "But how's I supposed to see them hey?" "Bysze, there were so many, how could you not, how's it possible to no? Were you even trying to keep guard?" "I must have been, surely, surely I must have, right?" "Well surely if I had use of my hands, I'd choke you your deserved." "Good thing you don't then." "Gods, is anyone not tied? I'll coin to it." "Relax," Gyadalta. "Quibbling can't ehh. We just got to think now how the getting out." "You're faulted on this leh Volya," Yakacza. "At least own up." "Might be to me too," Kostiye. "I was talking to him, might have distracted him." "Geskecz," Pyeisa. "But he should have been watching!" Yakacza. "He should've –" Leiska [[glared->msinged]] Yakacza quiet. Leiska rubbed his temples so hard it seemed he might break through. "I just don't know why you're bringing me into this," the thief. "I've never been above the [[abandoned->maddress]], the like, the one way down we, but uh I'm worthless as a guide to you. I can't lead you to anywhere!" "Not this again," Mylecz. "I'm serious! I don't even know why you're still –" "Seek a quiet to house in your mouth, thief." Volya. "I have a name!" "And what? So does Yakacza, doesn't make him worth the listen. Just shut up." "I'm not the one who can't hold guard for literally his life." "Well hopefully you'll be better at holding your organs in when I get out of these braces." "Ooh. I'm terrified." "You should be." "You should be terrified as to what I'll do when I'm –" Pyeisa. "You should all shut the hell up, is what so," Leiska. "Not this time your blather ahh."

Quivery flesh upon shove sweat lubricated, warmth of into each other sureness of muscle, held inside the intercoiling motion and [[countermotion->maddress]], surface sublimely aware... "You're a gutter of a skull, you, Volya." Pyeisa. "I wouldn't trust you with a failure, in fear you'd succeed." "How did you miss the ambush, you cur?" Yakacza. "Beisza's built with a brain the size of oops." Vasya. "Oh you're the one to talk, weren't you up on guard that time brigands stripped us out?" Volya. "Guard's one way to put it! I, for one, am excited," Vasya. "They're [[naked->msinged]], them, so I mean, that's at least an intriguing sign, right? Like hundreds pressing against you, and who knows what they'll do? What if we're in the middle of a fertility rite? Those happen." "We to be fertilizers or fertilized?" Yakacza muttered. "What about it? Either way you won't be the only stiff in the room." "This isn't a bash," Mylecz. "We're prisoners. They threw us in a cell. Nothing good comes of that. These are armed men who aren't wearing clothes. I don't know if I can stress that enough. They aren't wearing clothes, and they're armed. That's a really bad combination."

"Aye likely this the execution," Gyadalta. "Probably the end for us ehh." "Not you now, you're the legend," Pyeisa. "We'll all die sure, but you're the one who always somehow survives. I remember as waddler listening about you and the last ship out of Akusa's. If literally that can't take you, not a bit of godspite can hor?" "Yeah but I don't got the save in me anymore like I did young. Everyone from my kick is sent now, and I'm too old to keep up with new risers. Hell my daughter's as like to know more sent than stayed now. What's the point? I've already got enough stories to last the oblivion." "No, that's the wrong attitude, you've got to think us out of this," Leiska. "This thing Volya got us into," Yakacza muttered. "What's that?" Volya smiled. "You say something, Yakacza? Speak up, I couldn't hear you over the shit you're gurgling." "I said, it's your fault." "Mhmm, so's your mangled body hey?" "You don't scare me, you're –" "Sailors!" Leiska. "Just all of you shut up and listen! I know none of you've ever [[disciplined->mdisciplined]] in your lives, don't intend to mother it into you now, but by gods I will not sit here and listen to you squabble us to scaffolds yah. I'm your ranking officer, you will respect that if care to be paid. Now's that I'm intent on not sharing with our shipmates the falling on this, this truly puzzling need to ascend Kapinya's," hot glare "and if any of you are similarly [[inclined->maddress]], need start showing the talent and will so far absent. We've gotten ourselves in this mess by your startling lack of focus, so going to get ourselves out of it by fixing that mistake. Gotta start acting like sailors and not bleating whatevers. Does language crinkle your brains? Do I need to hurt someone to get through to you? Can I speak people words and have you understand?" Skittering of impressions uncertain. Dank cellar cool infiltrated our undereyes. "Now. Does anyone still have a weapon?" Leiska. Vasya patted the floor in a drum summoning. Leiska bode its loudening if only because he couldn't distinguish it from his own slow burn. "Anyone, anyone at all?" "I kept a dagger," Gyadalta revealed a cloth flap under his jacket. "I'd two but the clever nakeders nicked the other." "Got nothing more than always," Pyeisa. "Just a dagger?" Leiska plodded lugubriously to the edge of a sigh. "Is that all we have?" No answer. My palm wounds oozed ebony and ivory; fingers whispered across the scabs in dull pains, their sharpness lost like the memory, fact coldness materialized out of the energized moment. Obdurate reaction against what [[singed->msinged]], Leiska's rigid stare.

"You lousy, can't the lot of you count a go?" [[Leiska->msinged]]. "Puerile, the least of you is most of you. Surely at least we've kept a few spares to fight?" "They've robbed me plain." Pyeisa. "Skint aye." Mylecz. "What of you, Veda? You seemed to have held your own. You must have some kind of weapon, or a, some kind of spell, or." "Some kind of spell?" Meluoi. "Don't you smile at me ah! Surely you've some value to gut us up thus far, or are you pathetic of purse?" "We are merely relying on you to protect us, according to our contract." "Your contract! Unbelievable. I know you've weapons, the big one is, he's got to be." "The Seleph will take care of himself. Nothing here can prevent his inevitable." "We'll see about that. Did anyone get a count of them?" How could we answer anything beyond the frame of the one who had made us a group to [[address->maddress]]? Silence. Meluoi licked the seams of her mouth.

"Well Lieutenant, what's your plan?" Meluoi. Leiska clenched. Tension bulged oblong intrusions on his forehead… [[exhale->maddress]], rats scurrying. "Let me think, Veda. But we're fine. We've just got to wait for a mistake, then we pounce." "And if it doesn't come? If you're caught waiting out wounds?" "We won't be. Don't worry. These sailors are much better than they certainly appear. If they'll focus, we'll be fine. Nobody naked can outwit us. All we've to do is await their first mistake, then we riot. We'll succeed in a brawl, we've got some fight built into us. The first mistake, we wait for the first mistake." "Like yeszmi," Mylecz, "but with our lives." "Between games and trials is the prize," Gyadalta. "What's your on about?" Kostiye. "It's a gunsman adage. Shame you don't know any adages, Kostiye, useful as." "I know adages! I knew you'd adage, know lots of adages, don't you remember, I'm always to you about them? Like uh, dual wielders wrong wield." "Yeah hah, love that, so many wasters feigning sharp by flapping about a double. I've seen kids lose limbs that way, and worse. You hear the one, it goes like, a lance for medium and onships, a spear for large and offships, and parlance for thick and midships? Or uh, I forget the exact wording on that haha, but that's hilarious." "No, it's like uh, use a, it's like, a slice for medium and onships, a stab for large and offships, some spice for amidships." "Nah, there's no sense on that, gotta be the other one." "Are you kidding? Like, spice, in the mess." "But the mess is belowdecks, not amidships." "I mean, it's amidships belowdecks." "Is it still amidships if its belowdecks?" Kostiye. "Yeah, of course, how could you not now?" "I don't know. Nobody knows." "No, what, no, but –" "I've seen messes all around belowdecks." "What ships are those? I've always seen them amidships." "Once a mess in the aftcastle witness," Kostiye. "Could pop in during shifts for snacks." "Awesome." "Snacks?" Pyeisa. "Definitely a dream you had. No rations I've ever had had snacks." "No, that's visionary," Vasya snapped upright. "Snacks on shifts? Baelu, I would, like I would actually volunteer for shifts that way. It's genius efficiency, I mean think about it, with the extra work you earn double the clink." "I mean, any time's a snack, you're sneaky enough," Yakacza. "Whoa, keep calm, Prince Zekyiru, gotta stay fit for them prince routines," Kostiye. Mylecz burst out laughing. Volya smiled. "Ey you shut up." "No, you shut –" "You shut up, I said first and meant more." "You're the –" "Alert and ready, was it, Lieutenant?" Meluoi. Leiska above us in icicle radiance blotted out conversation. Night wind chills whispered from his [[tensing->msinged]] hands. Wet seconds sweating. "Give me your dagger, Gyadalta." Gyadalta blinked. "My, my dagger, Lieutenant?" "Give it to me, now. Sick of this nonsense hey. Give me your dagger, I'll hang onto. Can't you dyenne jeopardizing the escape with your nonsense." Gyadalta hesitated, but tentatively lifted the cloth flap, gingerly searching for the taste of [[steel->msteel]] – "Stand," a voice. Leiska whirled to the intruder. He saw eight naked men fully armed. "Alert and ready," Meluoi. "Classic."

"Great you've done, Volya! We've, this is terrible, we're gonna -" Pyeisa. "Shut up, like you didn't have chance to alarm if you saw something." "You're the one over on that side to scanning!" "Right but as I was obstructed by the, you know, debris or whatever, so's you might have had the vantage to -" "You think this is my fault?" "We're all guilty and will suffer as so." "No, you're guilty, and we will fix your mess." Leiska. "Aye Lieutenant, you'll wrench it up, you're a tool." "Break your spine to bow, or I'll." "You're a snide, I'll snap your -" "Always with you it worses, Volya." Yakacza. "Oh feeling is mutual, you're like a grandeur gnat." "You were on guard ah, how'd you miss fifty men moving in on -" Pyeisa. "Twenty at most." "What? No, at least fifty, if not way more yeah, how else they snap us?" "They snap us because we're weak and tired from all the marching." "You envious of the slopped up beneath?" Leiska. "I don't doubt it. I told Captain Myeri the two of you were a mistake." "This mission is the mistake." Leiska [[bristles->msinged]] to reply but accepts the ire to leer over at silently biding Veda. "I actually don't quibble as to I'm a mistake," Vasya. "That's the problem with twins, is you reckon the one and you get this other one thrown in bonus you don't know what to do with." "Can we focus eh on preparation? We've got to somehow escape, I assume." Kostiye. "What's there to prepare? Be sharp to possibles, let instincts run the rest." Gyadalta. "How do we even know their violent?" Mylecz. "Eah the polearm to my cranium is a bet," Pyeisa. "Didn't notice an entire band rushing us, the worst, the literal worst..." "You're the literal worst." "You're the literal worst!" "But like what if they want to -" "No, they don't want to, shut up." Leiska. "You could always ask them, I'm sure they'll let us know." Gyadalta [[pointed->maddress]] to the cell door opening.

Grabthrown down a [[wherewith->mwherewith]] to perspective shifts, rip from ambient eye zips [[barnetts->mundersign]], uncontrollably controlled, loosening into the dream beyond placeness to which I can attest, spoken are [[commands->mbodies]] to where I need not address, there I bode.

Leiska's sigh's glass shatter lay beneath our standing one by one. We shuffled out, clamps clattering [[steel->msteel]] [[questions->mundersign]]. Air tingled as out in the open we felt in our own way naked, and I almost burst out laughing to see my shiver rebound in so many [[bodies->mbodies]], but the surprise of extending out sunk me deeper [[within->mwherewith]]. Bushes lingerie on the wasteland. The way you feel dry heat most inside your stomach.

Led out of the cell by kicks, trace the arc to crash. Whipped up, whipped out, in, pain [[internalizes->mwherewith]] you, plummets you in pure [[surface->mbodies]]. You deserve to be hurt, pain makes you you. Thank you, crush me to use, I acquiesce absolution nonabsolving. Twinge talisman of zeroed out to presence vibrants the nullscape dark glittering. Suffocate to proper place, reduce until proven, smaller yet so the sins can swallow all we fear externalize upon you, no, I can't let you, whip, thank you, thank you, I nearly presumed, pretentious assumption of unassigned, [[undersign->mundersign]] my underwitten bathos approved. They shove me to spokes of reeling vertigo. Must adopt alike their terse brute, hurt myself the same: shoved myself and splattered on the floor to their glares. "The hell are you, up with you Leiru, yego, we're tired together you garbagethought." Kostiye.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Liminally exegeist enactor of wills Codecimils between binaries [[irrepresenteds->mirrepresenteds]] Limitations upon legerdomain of willowwisps Weeping firefly sparks upon the line, Landscape slant to terminally watershed, Weeds bowing to dry breeze linguises Saints of the ebonafter eventidally locked Upon so spare a shore and so sere a sure, Salients of seething captures a forceful locus Loosening to bubbling cupola about to burst, Rising to [[sky->mdawnstar]] enswathed in parentheses Looming over any [[included->mimmanence]] to burial…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Zenith allure entrance exhorts [[fallen->mimmanence]] to exert Broken to yolks vibranceslips scurrying upon crags, Zen aware of bred to bleds eddying on execute, Pestilence wisdom woe worshiping the bloodslicked Whilst withers the [[dawnstar->mdawnstar]] mirage, Pessimism abyss lashing forth daemons to blossom Fiend mechanisms of be loss ohm resists, Dreams of ascendancies’ retroactive absolving, Fierceness of goal to lifeless anima resurrects, [[Reductive->mirrepresenteds]] pressure to perform inexorable unattainables Skyswallowing generations its delimit, Redolent sphinx upon the mire unasking..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Attenuative drive propels wherewithal its naught, Nervous deterioration of indicatives, Attempted surrender to soothblank nautically Gently [[overshone->mdawnstar]] to swallow combinatories mattering Rudimental fermenting to process irreducibly, Generator rubrication of conjure matrix, Destiny strains to vial interdeterminants Shining stories yet convoked to clasm, Despersonification absoluted [[interred->mimmanence]]…"]

Lifted up suddenly, thrown into the motion, racing according to steel, precious unfeel, how [[bares->mbodies]] its teeth my sensitivities delicious, nectar of submission to neutral perfect, austere bracer. Juts of structures hint other steels under which to bide yourself sheathed, located in an accordance cut to order. How do they live, wielders of this steel, that they seem so different from our own steel desperation dull? Does steel spark differently here flint of a stranger flame? Can I learn how they have nursed from steel strengths these scars could not? Why does intensity seem majesty always only upon another, is it the sweat and sacrifice that cannot be loved inside, is it the [[symbol->mundersign]] selfsufficient persistent to absences to be read, is it poise crafted singulated from gyre? In the other, ruthlessness alive in its starkest, could pounce upon us prey. Not real in us until reflected radicalized realies, steel that punctures us [[networks->mwherewith]].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Participle people congregated vagaries of outer idols Intergnashunal of unity to ubiquity entity deenergy Partition to religions lording of light I am and I do, Isostatic rebound submiss submerge worship Ecstasy of elevateds vatic of primordial prelapses, Isotope mystics of discarded cloaks of prematter Stage the fury a form to inhabit immisculate Era generator percolating the ferrous membrane, Stars dancing upon infinity inquiddity of [[immanence->mimmanence]]…"]

Nocturne voices expansive. Harsh hits the heat: hammer laments plied melting irons. Eyes peered through the unthin black, hate jewels inlaid in prepounce calm. Curse insertion psalms. Our shuffling the hushing current in the calm. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Horizon shutters nightfall Creeping hours silhouettes Over these loss lingers, Lightlust in inward gnarls Wilting, waiting, warping, Assuming shadows of wills. Belong I to the nightness [[gloss->msilkening]], In womb hidden beneath Solidness losts, Sweats of prayers ablutes, anoints, Enjoins brutalprecious mother Beat us protected from self, solidity, Unform me, abort me the rain this night, My pulse as is your silence Buried in the smother, Spare this bonded milkmother, Share your blood in milks We brood in your fogs, Drinking what is drunk from us, Mouths in mutual acceptance As draws thin the biding Your too hour this shows, Time this place where too much is: Bathe brothers and sisters in violence [[blessing->mlustcurls]]: Destruction of another births another, Each scream is the heart beating, Groaning smiles dress us twins, I will paint your hell where you are not, Weep not on this gnarled nothing, Blot out the sun for I am coming."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Love is hate for the antiloves: Shed our consummation blood. We whisper tender sweetness: Tender forth the athame. We [[kiss->mlustcurls]] our [[submission->msilkening]] bow: We quiver sacrificial. Feed your fury these fangs: Our veins tremble passion. You are our everything, Take our are everything, Bereave us priests of your persistence."] Plague sickly clotted a ziggurat dais, four corners whimpering flames. Drumbeats pounded harder, knuckles battering the beat to tune, shrillness pyrelicks frothing over louder, pitchlessly rhythmed. Screams and silence mixed together molotov moans. Naked priestess sweat glistening howled in the circled center, her naked forerunners forced us up the steps. We cowered in leans pointing backward as the steps forced us up.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["[[Lustcurls->mlustcurls]] in tense presses trustful, Clutches curldig the query, quarry, quenchless, Above dreamsheets stale with selves witnesses Nemergencevers denial rusted, Spare us the dawn, Feed us our failed, Let not through the day gross go, This pleading for hidden, Preciously inwent, Save us from drawn, Permit vigil nonvestigial, Miscanthus tilts to dreambreeze."] Vestments of fluid nightwist percolate the sinews, surgically insert synthesis of inquests structuring radiate pathways, destiny's frisson tenuous. Imbibing the call, duressed upon its [[silkening->msilkening]], sickly moldering beneath her gesticulations, lithified her opposite...

Punches forced us further to where a figure emerged shoulder first from the shadow vaults, the roars emboldened at its [[corpse->mcorpse]] fluid flourish, a flash, fires hotlessly whimpering a mealy yes, shivers' recoil, serpents sidling on spines, in throat gutters a saliva hiss, confused forced acceptance as a lady woven from sleek silk rustlebrushed through us like a breeze drew incandescent dress glittering seance sequins, beneath in lightninglit pallor dizzyingly sallow, she sashayed through us, danced on our hope absences, bravura around our fear orbits a psychic neon ring, sensuous blur eclipse on wanness floating. Huddled supine at her hem a priestess, the athame melding into her, claws scraping the stone dais, and the lady received her, palm spread above the bowed oily head, hound and master aloof in the aristocracy born or died into. As their aurora reared, broke, swept into us, was it us when at last we crested the dais, minnowing mouths popless muttering enchanted while in invisible prowls presavaging horror loped our periphery peering in but curved into [[unrecognizability->munrecognizability]] by the voluptuous grin coyly detaining our conscious will, her vanilla adantino a warm inner glow licking our finger insides upwards towards her, grasping, haunted, shuttering at such conscious beauty conjured from trapped consciousnesses. "Am I a devil to deserve this quaking deference? Is cowardice the gift you bring to my queendom of shade?"

Jostle beaten to terminus we [[awaited->mawaited]] jaw, mottled raw to tremors ribbony in protrusion veins rilling purplations to viberyls luminous in moonpale stare, lady of the slake gesturing in shh words what could be mingling, rings around her surmise nigh shadow her burrowing mien, bored in its underfound. She levitates our aches to achings chorus. She stood inside our boundaries unable to fend and reigned over fragilities germane to how glears the geist in her wristflicks. Curled us across her fingertips [[baptismal->mbaptismal]] press, luscious woven distresses to bangle elegant multiaxes drip and yaw. Dispossessive moue rolled us around her mist until dismanifest we flittered upon the flaw, tresses of a face hovering just above to bless in a kiss the kin of next.

Lightly the lady heavying a touch to [[Leiska->mexemplar]]: "Hail to you lately arisen, the undeath perseverates. Shall we solder the join these torch sparks?" "All are joined in our scattering chorus can they firework." Meluoi. "Ah, a Veda, I can tell by your totality tone. For which salvation do you endure?" "No, so fundament sunken is your mind you speak oppose site; sunder we irreversibles to deculmination." "Ah, I bet you have begged those shadows to inform your conformance, but I shall prove inpatient to care. I speak as I dream, of a here that can hear." "We agree, but we shall see whose disagreement dreams deeper. Only we do not await the night." "There, shall we cherish it, proves our conflict, and that you seem so unconflicted, I shall inflict mine upon you. Young once I asked my earthmother a symptom similar, asked excited how could she wait for tomorrow when today’s todayness simmered so, and by reply she boosted me up to a seat, held my hands, gazed into my nervous, said now you are youth immersed in your immediacies, but the surge will durate inflate your seeming porous, your grasp upon seconds bloats out to minutes, soon your soon expands, first days fall through you a stitched daze, then weeks weaken to months which lugubrious spool to years which fall through your commitments, a thousand care apertures to lose track of what you have, and before long your longness buries its intentions decades bulbous, racked over them withered you at last outlast living, memory seeps into mumifications, silent endless now, and could not help it, cried, and she rested her chin upon my bowed into her breast, said, relish this, child, your infinite simmering wait, envy of what awaits." "You witness in your beloved now what awaits; whether you shall be so captured proves to you."

"I find it best not to argue with the dead." Meluoi. "Oh, you tease me with your superior soul. I tingle to take it." "I encourage you to, that is why I have built it." "Alas, Veda the most dead, no outcome can afflict their certainties. They lie beyond the scope of life, however violent one's irruption. We dwell instead in the moment as it electrifies, magnified with tensions to manifest. Even you can be included in the kaleidoscope, shall we interpret you to the generator, will you humble into humanity offspring?" "No immersion in delusion decay afflicts our spirits beyond the scope of flux, even your violent induction. The Seleph's quest matters only if intervening mattering cannot overwrite its salient missiverion. You worship the night, do you, no doubt it proves your generator, you points of its contact, the sublune insistence I this penumbral address preveil entune its inability to cover me, as has it you, beyond the point of commune." "Commune with whom, you, can't we commune right here in our mutual hereness, is there not a connection, this, [[visceral->mexemplar]]? Ah, blessed coldness, you possess it equivalent to us, why will you not let us worship in saliva plosives your moonlight refusals?" "I valence more charges than your core, and ensorcelled by countless moons my tide typhoons beyond your assails. I invite you to engranduer in the amass auspice sacerdotal, wreathed in signs entune riddles of writtens to nomen, shall you accede any else, shall you not worship your moon your vanity." "Why shouldn't I? Gazer upon perfects, shall I not attain its arraigned auspex, daughter and draugr?" "Perhaps you are here perfected, I intend not to argue what other you could accrue, other than refuse your violent insistence every other must submit so embalmed to suppess the infinite fragility of being in dreaming."

Spacedark voice vacuum suppressed reply, or was it that Meluoi spoke: old language pentimento nothing in the dark. She bowed which rattled her chains. The lady rolled her head gently. Eyes still closed, she smiled. "A Veda," sucked it through a moue. "Your tongue soothes me." "Your songs impress me," Meluoi. "You have quite a mastery of the vernacular." "Ooah, the superiority, won't you even at least cover it up? You embarrass us." Her lids lifted over dual gray dawns infinitely stately or recessed, a laugh further afield the face. "But are you not prey in my web? You speak your misunderstanding of my language. Read into these night writings, you will find my own truths. Your spheres are aquiline to me." Meluoi's nose flattened. The lady reclined her cheek in her cupping palm. "Oh, don't hide, Veda, won't your sunburst knowns blind us for you? Are you, mah, afraid it won't? But, wouldn't that mean, oh goodness, that you hold nothing over us? Could we, even, we, collapse you?" Long fingertips resting on her chest. "Immediacy is no arbiter of value." She inhaled her disapproval, waited at the high mark in coy scorn, then released it in a glamorous contralto: "Well then. Shall we wake to where we are? Can you crawl forth from your caves to blink away your graphite? You are, after all, standing in our birthright, you own this as much as we do. I would hate to steal from my sister our shared, that is, if you'll deign to dwell with us? Do you mind the night? Nothing as, pleasant, as slumber, certainly." "I sleep only when dreams press us to the waking eye." "I'm sure that means something to you. Here you will find your iron will melt to melancholia. Essence is what hard light never captures, to feel an, inner contour, you have to lap into its waves, let the moondark blush warm over you noise eradication, pixelized peeling your awake to your wakeness, for over there you are, or, or perhaps am I sleeping, or are we both nonawake in each other's sleep, or shall we ever sleep together? How is it you came in bondage? Did our sleepwalking outpace your morning stroll? Yes, let go, lower your tongue, no more tongue, only the cold pore longing for a raw moon, do not [[clench->mexemplar]], just let go, let me..." Blue lotus she sloshed the walls sideways until the color bled and only white and black and her and us and us and white, her teeth the size for a second of a Tower which jumbling we caught no shape neatly, some intergaze or intragaze wound its way through my crevasse to culture in my stone square pulse blasts bombing the building brain image brittened by the tingling tortuously saw...

Smoke surrepts slalomed contours of her capable in the twist to pressure. Mutual potential kept us closer than we could bear to her gel resplendence jading the ambient. The lady could we still see behind blinks as if she had always been there, more there than here. Passed through all of us but froze in front of first Berakh, then, headtilt, Meluoi. "Your aura, ah, it comingles with ours, is not so different, yourness and mine. Why thence the differentiation on which we must war ceaseless? Do you beloved identify superiority for how further asky you hide? Thirsters teeming at source, we parallel, and if so much lower must we seek our sustenance, shall you act surprised?" "What is given to us is given freely to all, shall solely you ascend to claim it. Not we who had dispensated you a lower order, the sleepful swelling your sinews to sleep so dispensates." "Please do judge me yes, thence my judgment of you seems selfdefense. Strange though, to see a Veda in the flesh, as are the rest of us obliged, howw similarly vulnerable you feel, and is this your Seleph at our mercy? Does it shake your faith to witness his captivity?" "He is bound desiny, and if it is this, then he, like each before him, admits the ineluctable." "Your fatalism guards your terror well." "No chains retain terror origin so soon will we quaking retain nullpoint savior." The lady paused on the point, slipped the blankness to sashay. "Well, when you anoint us your overwrite, do pleasure it contains ours; shall we teach it to you, so your sermons need lead by [[exemplar->mexemplar]]?" "If in this your submerged, share we wail against the deluge from fountains of creation."

"If you are to treat with us, you shall so with me," Leiska. "This is my command. I will not tolerate your interference." Sharpened without brightening the lady's eyes as her [[elegance->melegance]] sly of sardonic smile sharpened sans brightening. "Your [[command->mcommand]]? Hhuahaha, oh, is that what you call your shackles? Who are you, why did you appear out of the filth I was ignoring?" "We mean you no harm. We are just passing through. We are on a peaceful mission that poses no threat to you. I implore you to release us. We need not to fight each other. This can be resolved." "I love it when men talk of my needs. You're in charge of this group?" "I am the ranking officer, yes." "And these men, they are all loyal to you, devoted to whatever end? I couldn't, say, offer them their freedom, if only they join us? That wouldn't work?" "No well –" "Yes, I'd love to," the thief. "Take me! I'll join." The lady laughed politely. She nodded to the priestess whose head bobbed back and forth too fast and too far for a neck. The priestess purred. "Some command," she. "That doesn't count, he's not –" Raised cat crawling the priestess clawed in close to us owlish sizing those she passed, athame teased against our cool a rattle, rattled bounced our knees. Drums battering in the [[shroud->mshroud]], pressure building. The priestess paused before the thief who nodded in affected selfassurance, and we watched, the drums haltered in the tension, inhale before a – Pressure release: she unchained him, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him forward. She tugged so hard his shirt ripped. The thief glanced back at us grinning. "You will see, Veda, I serve a grander than words, one that cannot be glimpsed in phrases but in phases of the [[moon->mmoon]]. Reality is the long dream we share, and you'll see it, if your eyes are not your tongue: verse buoyed by its evernearness to death. The dream's teasing part is right, before, you..." "No god escapes their testament," Meluoi. "Our texts bind us to where we are made to break. We are immortalized in the moment our spirit seals us despairs. If your god will not deign to condemn deify you, then you are clutching at the air in hopes you catch the sunlight. You will find no beauty where you do not burn." "Ignorant, you are so pathetically absorbed in crystals which don't care for you. We [[worship->mworship]] the face that looks upon us. Behold: our visage unveils!" The priestess shoved her fist into the thief's throat. Gagging, stunned, he reeled back, but the priestess' strength prevailed rooting him in place as the arm snaked further inward. Vomit slipstreams flooded the reverse reaction, lateral transforms on the thrusting arm. Wide to encompass this and its progenitor permeation flung the lady's arms while she jumped back in a delicate [[demesne->mdemesne]] amaze arraign rainsinging bliss to hail.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Blessed is our Nameless Queen Anointed in constaining suffering. Blessed is our body's [[breaker->mimpact]], Love divinity stalwart against us. Praise her for the pains we endure, Her hate erodes our hatefulness. Praise her for this misery [[consummation->mlilithic]], She binds us in prayers blood dripping. Rejoice in that which kills us, What remains is beautiful death. Rejoice in what destroys us: Poignant spans the posthymn silence."]

"Shall we demonstrate the nondifference?" She purrs into the hollowed out ear of, no, too swift, reverse the tidal rush to comingle in the wine rustling the glass. The lady behind us demures above a hewn corpse, no, further, further back... Bejeweled splash of selfaware selfdisplay curdling in my eyes jealous rage. Sandstep switchfoot arms out bent to balance in each sideways reaxis jump she enlivens my touch imprints precious of impossibly distance of yesness majesty, bejeweled splash of selfaware selfdisplay sweetening my recalcitrance to tense praise trance. Doubletaps the trot her slipperly kick, kick [[impact->mimpact]] doubles over red flourish, incoming the priestess lopeleers to lop ears, vessels of breath she perfume encases her jinn, lady of plum tannins deepening veneer, how we saw her demure to domain the follow [[demonstrength->mextractio]] soporiferous.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Rites of reality denied us Congeal we in catacomb [[consummations->mlilithic]], Howls blooming in negative space Flowersongs forgone whose lack lays unforgiven, Never do you forgive, mother, For all that you give, mother, Pestilences precious which torture us vibrant, Lusts to rip apart being with needs impossible to slake, Sensitivities to be brutalized til we admit [[fracture->mextractio]], Cognition prisons to languish in assignable to stake, Burials which remake the sea in our image."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Dwell in us as we must dwell in us, Mistress of our maroon, wistress of our magics, Sacred we your spellbound we fever induce infuse this form, Phases of fullness to precious pregnant midnight to nude new, Teach us acceptance tantric your totemificatories Glaze our peered into filters vibrance flairs forth from exilic empyrean, Scenes that soak up lifeflow to show sainted escapes, [[Severeness->mimpact]] escapades to daydream as caverns pallor us dispersed, Celestial phantasmy nonely we endurate exist in sacrificial dissociations, Worship of wan of us, moonlight goddess [[extractio->mextractio]]."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Possesses us the looming [[moon->mlilithic]] In a thousand porcelain splinters Spilling through blades and glades Blood of serenity, quell calm [[crush->mimpact]], Spaces to dwell its devolved aperture To foment is accents in delveskin, Flush potential of mergement germ According us kin, brethren of sin silence, Touch magisters night terrors over our beds hawkish As sweat we dreams to loose, Luminous fleds [[asundurative->mextractio]] of complex ions, Fragmentation radiation presence in soils Preserving its lord, glamorous numinous remove."]

Black [[lilithic->mlilithic]] sparkles gilded the moonbeam shaft that swept the thief far from his feet while the priestess' arm extended long, longer, langly, bizarre, leather body stretched elastic. Effervescent mote spumes glittery semitranslucent ink blobs waterfalled against the impenetrable moonbeam. Whirring in interlocking plosions outblared the beating canopy bowing meekly before it awed by the meteoric savagery shading the engine drums. Like a quick start from a dream the image snap returned twanging in the reverberation, and the thief sprawled across the dais expressionless as the priestess nurtured his flesh's acceptance, her tender whispers swirling in viscous pillow floes clotted already into nauseating browns. The thief held shut seven seconds blink, raised his head, toothlessly smiled. The priestess licked his earlobe: he emitted a half giggle. The lady contracted into one wan drawn smileesque. "Come, child. Do you finally feel at home?" His grin spread stupid. "Yes, welcome into yourself, my lovely precious. You see, Lieutenant, you are in command of nothing. One's bond is as good as their master, and, well, look at yourself. You're hideous." Leiska bristled but kept his tongue. "I hate to be so blunt, but you simply lack the gorgeous corpse we all wear," drawing tantalizingly close to him, her breath hot lick. "Can you see how much I have suffered? Am I not as pale as the prettiest grave? But you, you, oh..." she ran a finger down his arm "you're wasting so much potential with that horrible pulse of yours. Is it any wonder your men are so eager to flee from so dreadfully alive?" "That's a compliment worth having." Leiska. A polite, nasal ha.

"What do the seas war? Endless motion and change, storms surging tide against tide, yet never nonsurface, what arbitrates? Batholith barbituates to prominence, memorial. I'm not so sure any of the distress of severance sustains its lorn, so why not forgo it joyous? Reave the scythe its will, the harvest gives of us gutted what greatness, what multitudes! Multiply the germ for the five thousand! Destructor transmission, atrocity interweave, zero viral, each ignited scorches witness to shadows. Isn't it magnificence, the magnified? Glasscult gestator I godhood vibrato mists. In this mazy uncertain, what other phantoms will I find, whom shall they force of me, of all I overwrite?" The lady. "None but those you fever. Force whichever verity best vulpines your pining, I shan't betwixt. Maelstrom mindless of false and dolor, eludic ritual to summon the dispensateless, loosen your grasp, or I shall gem, shatter color." Meluoi. The lady reached out to slap Meluoi, but melt, melt, sludgy floe underpinning burstbath gushroads, in [[splinters->mstart17]] fled we cascading wet over the world.

Swayed she to Meluoi. "Do you quiver now our [[juncture->mstart17]]?" "None of your religion sutures wounds which generates it." "Yes, but surely does yours, yet how alone it makes you all, when you, oh, you and I are the same, Veda, we're both dead on the outside, but you, what ruins you, is something, cruel, keeps your body warm." She slid the back of her hand down Meluoi's unflinching cheek. "Lovely, isn't it, the freeze? The purity of chill? It's okay, you need not speak, the struggle in your eyes is all the worship I crave. You can't hide it, elegant ice is so much more refined than your brash, repulsive, pubescent idealism, your malignant meaning and all its –" Meluoi smashed her forehead into the lady's nose, sheer shock of it sent her reeling for yards. Berakh sweepkicked his restrainer. Pandemonium rapids punched us down slapdash splatters of slanting men. Though still cuffed Gyadalta unsheathed the dagger of the guard near him, twisting to a stab. Vasya, somehow in possession of a key, ambled down the line uncuffing everyone. Mylecz duck kicked the man behind him. "Get their weapons!" Gyadalta. "We need arms, grab them, grab everything!" The priestess galloped. She lunged at Pyeisa. He caught her, broke her neck, and dropped her. He clutched angrily at a knifewound. Beetlelike squirming, but Berakh slammed an axe through the priestess' skull, and she flattened. The lady was shrieking, cursing in animal howls, and the shadows shifted into faces, into an endless stream of blocklike men rigidly moving, then Leiska: "To the Staircase, sailors! Let's go!"

"Precious, no doubt, bejeweled false positives, forced negatives, every obscurant opaline, but we have untied ourselves of your ornamented prolixities, augmented austere clear of clear quartz garnished to moonstone, our swooning before her shine, immediacy rush perception perfection, crystal trickle water vinted, sainted in these echo tombs aloft of vulgarities of sea, drafty draughts to simmer seinsucht selene. Love its lucid inducives electricated conducive to shimmer stainbrushed terrene, cellclean being simply intaking, ah! Will you not renounce your vitality to ravish this vermouth remove, palace of imperceptible impresence clarion calling lust to loss precious?" The lady. "My values cannot be shared in such negatives; greater voids detain." Meluoi. "Gyumm, so you say so unthinkingly, insistent merely on your authority." "I author what we must and beg no more of gods." "Hush, the moon will hear you, never sanction such blasphemy!" "Your art compressed this empty isolation pales to blaspheme the fiends we entreat to enter our bodies and stoke souls." "Then submit your souls the difference, this sacrifice!" With a gesture to the priestess the lady stalks away bluely. The priestess galloped. The lady smiles. The priestess raised a dagger glintly. Meluoi was not where it stabbed. The lady turns to find Berakh’s glintlies. Meluoi runs down the line with the key, unchaining. "Where’d you snag a key yah?" Yakacza. "The Seleph is not stilled by such binds." Throatclutching the lady sunk, in unison the rest. Empty howl of fading [[mirage->mstart17]]. Confused but to march on?

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XVII''] --- We have so many [[prayers->mprayers]] that propel us threw [[emptiness->memptiness]]. Woulds [[mazes->mmazes]] perspirate the flounce. You can outdazzle the, the, but again the drawn of skin seeparates etudes, [[evenates->mevenates]] the space. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

"Couldn't stand her nice to me, because I wasn't to her," Imeni. "I wanted her to intensify, ject into my cruel and accommodate. There was, like ehh in her refusal almost an infantilize, treat me serious and hurt me, like Mariena would, I'd quibble her constant, right so she'd deflect or brood us both worse, aye a friend I could trust, whose love would mean truth when wasted [[drained->mdrained]]. Mariena will care me when I've naught to give, but [[Kaiya->mkaiya3]], she'll nurse me as always, nothing will change in spite of journeys I, so I hounded her on it once at last, drunk enough to courage up the bitter snap, demanded she brutal me or begone her superiority mercies, and she angelic smiled, the world hurts but we don't have to. What could I say to that hey? Just [[cried->mcried]]."

You come to a place that cannot welcome you. Surrounded by [[refusals->mrefusals]] mandated to proceed by heart [[anxious->manxious]] yearn, some rule will have to fail, and it won't be you. You cannot be contained in places, you will exist in as many to [[collapse->msuppresses]] their logic to admit your axis of motion. Somewhere lies a network where, but all these networks [[interlinking->minterlinking]]...

Floor [[after->mafter]] Floor of there is [[nothing->mdrained]] here, why is nothing here? [[Gaps->mpalms]] where all the brutal unnecessity proves. Floor after Floor of an aboveness absent the [[dreams->msuppresses]] our distance harbored. Maybe there is just this [[pervasive->manxious]], we simply learn the localized.

Around us walls which occassionally yes they dispensate a passage which cannot be pursued due to the gnarls which guard but through which you can barbed impaled crawl until gives it way a gate you through thence to a twist in which, no, no path, return through the crawl doublewound. Coils around a snaking interstice blocked its entrance. Whither through [[wither->manxious]] and vines? Overgrowing overgoing preventers, sentinels of ventricles pumping us into a center cannot descend pure, must overflow to assent sure, tangibly pressed to the best of us crushed: [[puncture->mpuncture]] intraveneous to drip reformulate brushes' obstressed.

"How then's this?" Leiska sighed. "There's, what is this, how do we [[push->mautonomy]] through this?" Pyeisa. "Why can't it just be empty all of the time? Always these next things..." Volya. "Ey at least it's not as before Floors, started to [[cycles->mcycles]] of sleep and wake reverse." Yakacza. "Yeah, see how much of the death you worship." Kostiye. "Enough of it, as to none of it below." "Yeah, I miss the just, the marching, instead of all this, instead of, I don't know..." Vasya. "Instead of what you don't know?" Volya snickered the punchline. "Yeah aye so's why I was at home below." "Be at home in the go, you [[laggard->mlaggard]], or we'll finally stop mistaking you alive." Leiska. "Aye that's how they think eh, being officer enough poisons you so." Kostiye. "You say something, Kostiye?" "No no, I'll salute up, let's alive to your uses."

Pseudocausitive networks integrate our outcomes into narrativized viz coming outness, openended porous through a thousand throughlines. I don’t know where we go is the maze’s phrase, its instantiated to statement challenge: parse of pathways a progress. That we were unprepared to answer melted obvious in our lethargic refusal to [[traverse->manxious]], in how detached we watched Berakh dance summon a pierce we followed indistinguishably from idling. Passing through subverted gateds, bemused we should have ever cared to arrive beyond, every further step enforces how far I have fallen behind, I cannot impart in miasmic rush, less sure by the pertains I still sip from these veins, still derive from the generation matrices, have I become closed off from circumstance, [[afterlife->mafter]]? Inevitability intensity of focality metastasis. No more building, just ongoing. Straightness without recourse, recursion to potential potentate enchained, compositor to type I parasite, or intracite, enclosed positivatic intimite, evental unhorizon. Eventually we subside, why knot inside? Better this way, every life I have entwined regrets the pattern…

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Proscribed performance of the scribe prescribed Recircutries the rune to unrill the ink fount Progenitor inclusion into circumscription writtens preordained, Containment intellections patterns procreate community, Beauty transmission to locked, Contagion in directions showmaking cardinal complete Errata script looping alhambra plane perfections [[Infusing->mrefusion]] possibility where contact dissolves, Erratic [[graphemes->mimmanence]] fusing perspective to persolveds…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Concurrence entangles the witness in progress, Phantom of positivation towardsness contingently cohered by limitation, Congress of actualizeds arbitrate process, Bespoken of chaos a tokening of value generation, Mesmerized productivity of complicities synchronized, Best efficiencies formulate reign the filial generalizeds Involver inscribes replicating algorithm spliceds strands Revolving around the empty cores of spectra delimits, Inveterate determinisms of spores strata deligatures, Individuation irreversibles of design to alignments, Calling to me their bending beyond reckoning envelopes Indivestment vectors of manifestation erroscopes alight, Blazing amountment patterns of painteds I invade meteor, Raining puncture burner of alien candlelight plumed pen Blaspheming the constructual conceit to metamorphosis…"] Twisted in distance she nurtured the pause to plumswell. Immaculate absence curled between her fingers balling fist. Like she heard all my nonreplies before I could bumble real, cherished the failure of each, then turned to me with equanimitous salvation. "Compromised as component, we cannot excise into above judgement, acidic divinity honesty: humanity manifests the symptomal [[torsions->mtorsions]] of the incurable disease, each of us uniquely terminal. This poem, blessed is Senenzu Jikhuszi’s postpartum wisdom, is cleaved into [[koas->mkoas]] three: above judgement, component immanence, gaia mesmire. This first has traced the above judgment to its conclusive [[subfusion->msubfusion]], now we reach its apparition beneath in representable circuitries. Have you not felt, even if uncompletably expressed, the intention tensity? Trust it, Yamicz, involve into its judgement just as does the Senenzu, we will find each other there, in [[ournesseism->mournesseism]]."

[[Hazeflow->mpleasures]] futurity revocates incremental [[detachment->mcycles]] from actuality neutrality on which to be adjudged effected or disaffected. Blunted raws filtered through so many strictures to throat so sounds my voice own as if from miles away, could I but enmesh in [[distance->mlimbs]] sufficient to perceive [[miles->mautonomy]]. What else to do but numbness persist shadow of vulnerably electrified?

Caught in the dawn's dew so small a sea as if to say is there still in this world good grows your unborn rood. What kind of answer is that? For what kind of question even? But why must justification [[justify->mjustify]]? Why must words, sentences, thoughts, images, music arrange? When will I stop thinking? How can I start living? I want to be, want to be and have others know me, no longer linger in my refuse, want to see savor runny pulps of let the stillness stop, break the break, fidelity infuse to strengthen binds of ever receding actuality, dizzy undo these aperture fractals racing through my consciousness disconnections unless pose correct to slip through, [[exanimate->mexanimate]] redolent in the aftermath with blood in veins like blunt spikes failing to puncture this termination. Want to just speak and hear myself, sound of me in a resilient enough timbre to uphold a form. Want to feel the sun on the ocean open empty and sail to where I will not need but lie, a skyward uncage newly to a place delineated named be reborn, relive the ruse retry raw in the riven in sparks furnace rain to douse the taste of the forced to seep in, steep in it, sear in, so much sweat expended for what? Let some suprastar shine at me shibboleth solved. Stop. Let my hate heart attack collapse never march again. Want to love and be loved, hate hating, having to be hated, I hate, shunt my transgressive, leave me frayed skin on a dirty floor.

Why do they laugh? Can I crawl down their throats, trace the ghostly trails, sink into reverberations, see the source crystalline? Slake myself with it, grab as much as my [[palms->mpalms]] ivory and ebony hold, bathe, ablute, run back out, sew it in my drylakes the dream. Don't they know everyone fails? Within everyone splutters our gross, if you linger long enough on one person time after time they will shiverworming sludge their [[sinsoaked->msinsoaked]] gaps, don't they see how so easy to mock someone when so hard to heave out anything worse the worth the surface? Clench depression terror is self plus time. In our heads we justify, romanticize, reorient reality so as not to have to face the impossible fact that outside of these heads every step is riddled with loathing mines, iterated no amount of elusive x can reduce, no right transition to true reign. Having once been is the state of in the present regretting it.

Crying separates you, which is why we do it, to desperately be ourselves in the hopes of what? I don't know. Takes time to figure things out. Have you had enough? I don't know. Wouldn't you know if you had enough? Recursive sombriety, [[rainsheet->mrainsheet]] this neutral gray. Nobody has to be me, they are not this continuance, they can fit everything in categories, shape the smoke from fire, but you know, you know they do not, they know but they do not feel, can never sort the specifics, because who can, that's the thing, specifics mean nothing to anyone but the specified: cough up your specifics to someone who can't be you: what do you want them to do, where do you want them to go? What would it even mean for them to know, who would care? No cessation from [[autonomy->mautonomy]], irrepressibly damned in your reviled.

Can there not be some communion [[across->mstart18]] the gulf? Why must I shoulder what blame smashes this skull to its event finality, who has the right to say I the rightly born scorn you of the diminutive weakness? Flamekin wreathing the breath with fire, who is to blame, the flame, the firer, the earth, the gods? Blame myself that it hurts, blame the imbuer that it hurts, blame it that it hurts, blame hurt for hurting... there is no right, no one is anyone who is not what we always already aren't, no, no one is, not in your yet. I am the nothing no one ever is. Hollow yourself so that nothing remains to blame.

What moves me anymore, are they these [[limbs->mlimbs]]? I am spent, no desire, but I am kept on thoughts, and thoughts which think things, and they still march, plod, pound, go. I wish... well, I don't, I guess. Who I am is gone beneath [[desire->mpleasures]]. Why? How can you say that? Prove wrong what you will not let be said. I... why do you hesitate? Wellspring suggestions in sleep lingered in in hopes in reality the dreams might seep.

Do you owe anyone anything? Can't you just choose yourself, be free? Radical spiritual torsion to immediate [[hedonistic->mpleasures]] glee: sure, why not, warmblood chill would soothe, but would it be right, is anything that feels good right? But wait, what are you saying, choose yourself? Is that am I? How do you do that? I don't even know who I would have been without the haze that drowns it. They may wright their dignities from honest clay, but I am utterly [[exhausted->mgraymind]] of truths, what they weigh. Nothing satisfies though taste so much we do, we roil in absolute sensation longing for reprieve seconds to return to reptile basking, that single second of [[deprivation->mrations]] in which one can linger consumed free from the actual this that so much always consists in pushing onto the not quite ever, the will to wish to want to be which is not, not, never is this, we are this and this is us and break, bones, for soon you shall. Why awake to what [[suppresses->msuppresses]] me in this chest? Why see what lies beyond these eyes, that pushes me back into them? Why gaze upon the imprisoner in pupils?

Too much trash obscures the radial burst need to be known, perception is lie violence, and all the ensuing uncertainty and hate annihilates; at each touch meeting ashes dress the quelled question. Want we to be seen through to be seen, but glean what you can, conjure the rest, and there rests the ruins. Maybe we deserve the right to fail. Mandatory joy in a broken world beats us beatified; saints' blood sanctifies sites that swallow their names. Ripping out holes on the sheer cliff with which we strain, crawl in one, this is it, this is how far. Don't drag me to the summit, just let me choose the cave. No, or no, being known is the only positive good, mean something even if it kills you. Frostbite [[pleasures->mpleasures]] surpass being another corpse in the crevasse. These angels abjuring, always on high, always am I earthridden, let me alone as the gods did in a mortal making. I am, I accept. Go away, stop calling, all you ever do is! Thickening gloaming teeth soiled with sunset blisters, retch out your truth, this is why you are the what you are and work and think and always always always, but no, that's not right, and and and and – To live is to cause damage. Giant entropy beetles scuttling eddy stains on order. This all so childish, rude attempts to skew the demand to reason. Cheap narcissistic oblivions we can all wallow in insensate. Work and think and. I just. Want. To go. To sleep.

"Nah Vasya no drink the next leh, we've got to keep it for the, for however much still goes..." Mylecz. "It always still goes, Towers don't stop as we do." Vasya. "You're not stopping, you're hauling along til we all agree to [[relinquish->mpleasures]]." Gyadalta. "Why so I've got to burden? Just let me be." "Take the bottle from him hey." Mylecz. "No don't you, hey, leave me to it yeah? Who cares the next day, who has a next day? Judging the attrition, why not be next me yeah? So's my duty to savor the simmer. Was pissed out, so I'll piss up, then piss off. Good enough for me so this geuh..." "Dyenne grosser so." "Never let the maudlin into the drinks yeah, we've got to last them the [[haul->mstart18]]." Gyadalta snatched the bottle. "Hey yego, eh you beisza, give it here now, you sundevil, what's with your cruel, handle me up hey." "Go ahead and cry yourself asleep you mewler, just don't waste up ours." "How much do we have left?" Mylecz. "Never ask those questions."

"Loop me back right if I [[stumble->mstumble]], you've go to promise." Mylecz. "What are you on about?" Kostiye. "I can like walk automatic, just need the set into rhythm, but I don't know if I can get back into it proper if I fall you know, so as you've got to help me, you do, if I stumble." "Haven't you stumbled." "No but I might lor, it's soon, so's I feel it, and when I do like don't just throw me up, cause then I'll stumble again and again, then you'll leave me, but like if you take a few minutes to walk me up to cycle, then I can get back into the mach, promise you so, got dozens of ascents still in me sure. Please just, when I stumble down, please take the time to walke me back to cycle yeah?" Kostiye shrugged. "I will, Mylecz." I. "Eh thanks Leiru, and I'll do the same for you, we'll match up right." "Yeah yeah, trust into Leiru why don't you, Mazyu and [[Kaiya->mkaiya3]] hazard their agree." Volya. Over the next ten seconds my consciousness drains into a narrow tubule tunneling me fifteen feet in front of my body, peripherals black.

"I’m telling you, submerged I saw it, honor best, this like angel fish, this creature more beautiful than I thought could be just there glowing in the ocean like all the darkness between us could not blot it out, and when they wrangled me back shipside still could I see it just hanging there chandelier over [[nowhereness->mlimbs]]." Kaiya. "What look of it eh?" Mariena. "Like peridot seaweed that forgot the world, like the last vestige of a god diminished, like profanity more beautiful than the sacred marred. Like permission to feel how I did, if this was also. That’s what I think about when in doubt, like I would want others to find me such a grace, a givenness that [[extrudes->mrainsheet]] your intrinsics, treasure of togethers, angelic coronet. Wear me such a power, I’ll feel healed, held."

Ambient mood extrudes the siphon to cipher. Aesthetic complexion filters compresses encodeds. So you indigo incubate, shall cobalt enjoin? Why not [[sew->mpuncture]] these scintillations curtains to enclose in broods chocolate, circulate the envelope gaussian tones to runny ruby heatsips? Attune infuse fuchsias of fever with vermilion reals aplume, rocks perilune. Rainwine of [[graymind->mgraymind]] sepia distorts my acetate burn.

Lazing in the warmth when there is nothing to achieve azures the self sanctified. Pursuing it for too long that you dissipate into incense, seeking it not until you huskdry mummified, [[emptinesses->msuppresses]] whose qualities mimic meaning. Why not delectate the drone? Why enjoy the soothing warmth of coffee more than the labor looming? What about being at rest do we want to entrust which we sweat free in [[toil->mstart18]]? Is there substance in ajar you cannot preserve? Is relish innately any other than slouch towards a motion? Out of which intentionality do we conspire contextualizers to bask? Basilisk luxury, why not petrify pleasurably? If only you could scrape it from the earth...

Reaching for a memory, and it is not there, incision, seek where your [[motions->mstart18]] join.

"If I've felt [[desolate->mdesolate]], why's that your to fix?" Imeni. "Isn't it you who desolates? How else can we be now but the guttural intergnash? What else would we have cherished but the [[lost->mlost]] in each other which proves only now too true? Which dream could you mend pretend? Precious most not what’s memorable but the million textures of people layered over too many togethers to feel a self separated from suddenly the spark. Not when we all enchanted laughed, but us together so electric we could not but conduit. If I could relive any moment, I wouldn’t, it wouldn’t be in any. What is gone is in us; I am buried alive in you."

"What can I emend to ameliorate the bane?" I. "No, no, it's not that at all, you never understand Emnin!" Imeni. "Nothing of you accounts, my valuing is entirely withdrawn." "Nothing? Nothing?" "We are beyond [[amending->mamending]], dust of all which could."

Imeni clung to me more tightly than the evening could [[bear->mrations]], her guise tore, gushed raw her needled, recoil banding from [[Kaiya's->mkaiya3]] laughter wilted into distance. "You reach a point, so much sooner than you expect, when you have all the people you will love, now you just watch them flow; only so many more nights of this, and I have wasted this one. [[Nothing->msinsoaked]] will ever occur to me more precious than this evening I fall to bed bare. I love each and every one of you more than any rebirth can ever replace; when we all fall silent, please gods let me too. If, by then, I have not a song, then I submit to silence."

"I start with the absolute certainty that somebody is going to [[hurt->mpuncture]] me, then I admit that I will only love in [[abrasions->mpalms]], so I live [[conclusive->mafter]], hoping in the cloister echoes healing. I bide for the ghost cry, and if it does not sound, mine will resound; let the moonlight [[admixture->minterlinking]] either." Nyneme.

"Neh Leiru, cannot rest here or for the rest will it be," Mylecz. "Gotta up with you now." "Has he collapsed again?" Yakacza. "All these empty Floors lah," Mylecz. "How many we've upped, beyond the count now, cannot differentiate to enumerate, how many more remain... up, up, on we go Leiru, there you go, shoulder back on the pack there, shamble on lad." "Just leave him ah," Vasya. "We've minimal [[rations->mrations]], honestly would use a couple lagged off, just strip them of goods when they go." "Why not start with you?" "Don't [[tempt->mlaggard]] me to it ennm. I've been dreaming of death's sweet release all day." "Focus up," Gyadalta. "Talk of death invites it. Keep moving. You'll all be fine. We've got enough for, for…"

Lingering into my own skull flanges of false light. Silver filaments filigree the breeze in and out of eyes. Roam hull battereds of storms. Cyan motes sylph the graywhorl, blur unfurl curls cadenzas to blurt caprice jacinth jutters glitch shutters on the shoal vermilion and vinca stray world lure sparkles to cavernous yaws to tilted to too tights to stuck sucking ancient air its arid. Leaning forward too far on each foot yet somehow as if a forcefield finding myself bent upright, as if broken is my spine, dangling on jelly neck head confuses up from down to glaze them one stained glass, fugue figure of our [[marching->mstart18]] sainted on the spiral pseudolinearity of pushed on towards, towards… gotta keep up the thought that keeps up this fraught in so taut a heartburn like my chest is contracting, my am concavity, cavity, [[cavity->mlimbs]].

Burns my palm sine pains, cosigns the thump my other palm, ushering tangential from the ivory and ebony scars emerges phantoms I can almost, yes, yes, they're – "You're going to make it, I've seen it in you, we recognize each other, Emninu," Kaiya in a glow. "I've trusted in you for so long, Emninu, and though we've fallen apart, through fevers we've both ventured to this inwards," Imeni in a shade. "We've always wanted this for you, for your known to reach the surface of surfaces, the top of this Tower." "We're going to make it, no matter how much it hurts, if only for a moment, if only so we can fall asleep clutching finally at the feeling of awoken." "You can see behind these emptinesses, can't you, Emninu, you've always known what lies in the invisible." "You live in this emptiness they hollow, drink deep its drained to fulfill your formed inside its womb." "Can't you see it, Emninu, what beautifies the barren? Crystals this Floor nightskies, peridot and gypsum gills of the theremin leviathan vibration, blade glints of jasper and jade, beryl blossoms in the serendibite shade, the ever inviting tunneling winking secrets yet to shine secreting fuchsia psychenens, somehow yet to seam quavers of phantom fidelities, pressures perfect." "Is not this Floor a field, wander through the long grasses letting lick your fingertips lushlooms saccharine brightly, dollops of daisies, wisp plush flutters of dancing ladies, long lurches of thistles blurring into morning glories speckled polychromatic with lilts of morning glories, dew flush plashes your skips to the wetness wind?" "Iridesce into the fluorescence bubbling wanwine along the ghost chill blues bluthering in the marsh inks mauve, upon this so solid sink into your immersed, float free on the feather silver blear, swallow the spacious opaques, become oblique, obliterate this rigidity…" "Bulb volcanic blaze crimson lathe searspearing the model to made so, design entwine your touch to tangible, molten flow under hammer mentality to the rose premonite embossing your shield unto the tidal emulsifier, queer engine conduit your askewed to condition, presume yourself prosumma, the through into in you true, matchless magnificence of magmatic if is sensed ruebore provebit drilling into unto…" "Mysterython of breath incladesion core intrusive vise in vision pressurize demonym clasp, immelman moebius mask doffed to the masque carnivalicade prevaricauthentic to each prolie complected entanglement complexity of lexical spectral cyclically exhume in human." "Entrust your untrued to burn cleanse yourself of ashes, Emninu, whoever lies within you, as we do, once, to your once, someday soon." "How can I know when? How will I get [[there->mstart18]]? How should I –" "What are you on about, Leiru? Shut your man up, Kostiye," Volya. "Man up, Kostiye, Leiru? Brutal jokes," Pyeisa. "You want brutal, keep speaking," Leiska. "Ah, there's something to that…" Mylecz.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XVIII''] --- Work propels us to where our temperament fails, and undone we ongo cleansed of our faulters, what else was this marching lugubrious like a strain sleep. Was this Staircase shorter or longer or more lateral through time? The cadence bruised into my soles clattered offbeat. Haggard sloops pawing uneven breezes bottomheavy and willing to sink caught we the sole gale threading through the anemic list jaggedry assailing our hulls. Even the ceiling, did it seem to sink, low enough would one jump high enough, were Lomia here. Our necks cricked to follow our uncertain hoisting: "What's all this then?" Gyadalta. "Don't move," Meluoi jumped to the front. "Our arrival, at last, we can taste their –" "This is the Veda Floor?" Kostiye. "Why's so small hey?" Mylecz. "Are we in between Floors? Why's the roof so low?" "Where is the everything?" Yakacza. "No, no," Meluoi. "We haven't yet ascended to the Veda Geskecz." "But so we're near the top hor?" Gyadalta. Meluoi nodded. "Why's it so small?" Mylecz. "Because it's not a Floor, it's a gate." Meluoi. "Gate? You mean like a trap?" Yakacza. Vasya, at the front of the group, took a few steps back. Pyeisa, at the back of the group, did the same. "Trap?" Leiska. "No, or not necessarily, unless you arrive in a way that ought to be gated. Geskecz ida, a puzzle Floor, a filter for the intention to enter." Meluoi. "Geskecz?" Pyeisa. "Just listen," I. "Too many abominations wander where the silence will let us echo. You have seen them, beings that have lost their bearings and strayed hard into the mercurial outside which alters glows atop altar woes. We have learned from the violence our bodies breed, so we break its tide here. After all," wry wink, "salvation necessitates a closed perfection overwatching." Meluoi. "The mercurial outside what? What is what outside of?" Volya. "What?" "Strayed hard into the mercurial outside of what?" "Huh? What are, you..." "Suck your own tongue," Volya spat, "if it's so erect." Meluoi haughted longer than the offense could have possibly merited. Exchanged looks paled tentatively, wondering why can't we just march again, why must there be this, this rudely imposed difference. "The Puzzle Floors. There are three of them, gem triad: nature, [[force->mforce]], soul; mind, meaning, [[tongue->mtongue]]; what in which we [[elevation->melevation]], the seal sanctified by the Flood Prayer, the forever antitranspose possible only for those who have first never been outside..." //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Exhaustion pullulates prepositions to postinhabitances, precipitative precipitation of pulverisimilitude ululating. Inability to reck the risen but in rivets to traject transect reckoned, blade determined or bladely determined, each exhausts to clouds similar. Sacrifice [[intensional->mjustify]] or [[intorsional->mpuncture]], which begets a mercy worthy its inaccessible to the attainer? Who decides is renewed by the hour though we are not. After so sustained a committed, who shouldn’t acquiesce a moment’s slumber to linger penumbral? Is the commitment itself acceptable an alternative? We have been [[striving->mstart18]] so hard to alter native, why not amendable? I cannot seem to keep on my feet. Like the rain has trained me complicit. Loosening fidelity, granularity like gravel in the stream. Migraine eclipsed sun over my morphine mind. Strands objectal plied separate in nauseous vibrates. Incremental zone of focus decay, desiccated peripherals prophecy, I cannot keep. Each day I am worn through thinning resistance.

Meluoi gently winged a gesture to where in the Floor's center a single statue stood, lunules slicing lavastone with smooth oval white as our throat's salts, an ancient knight kneeling, gripping firmly the hilt of a [[broadsword->mbroadsword]] puncturing the earth near its knees. "This prevents us, demands us prove our journey its more." "Why can't we up?" Gyadalta. "Who cares this statue?" "We," Meluoi. Gyadalta thought there would be more, and when there wasn't, he shrugged an eyeroll. Berakh took one step, two steps, three steps to the statue and muttered an indiscernible prayer. Statue springing violently forward and slamming its broadsword down upon Berakh's ready blade, sparks [[sunny->msunny]] upon cerulean. Half of us jumped [[back->mback]]; the other half drew their arms, then meekly staggered back.

Meluoi's hard stop sharp hand stalled me. "[[Interrupt->minterrupt]] not the hour," she addressed us. "Say nothing." "Why shouldn't we?" Leiska. "What shall be spoken here eclipses all of us all. Do not [[profane->mprofane]] the dream, please, I beg, not of, but for you." Leiska chortled. Sapphire lightning clothed a golem sat lotus on a plinth gently grooved. Inscribed into its presumed head were two empty, bright eyes, the left a helix seashell glowing incandescent color blends and the right a chthonic volcanic vortex. No mouth and yet... variorum baritone, its deep changefulness obliquely alternating, a sound so ancient it rung out modern. Berakh answered, and we were [[severed->msevered]].

"Do not fear, the Seleph will answer our destiny as is it determinated in this pass." Meluoi. "Only you musn't interrupt, there will be time enough to learn or leer, but chandeliered upon ceremony, [[oblate->moblate]] or [[observe->mobserve]]." "Ceremony of what?" Leiska. "Can you not perceive, even upon this height and hour, our summoning sublimity?" "Your mysteries tire me, Veda." "Mysteries where you refuse sense, problems where you problematize, yes, you shiver their whisper, echo this clarion to clarity..." Out of bounty venerata emerald, [[thereness->mthereness]] entire. Pillars vined at slants, rubble roots piled a stable base. Branches radial signed stories skies read. Ivy intubation incubates a carved inset for the emerald reminiscent of how have we crawled and cherished. Berakh approaching in aria eminence, orchestral swelling in respiratory twists the statue ariser, intertwine they to ply their purpose in rites, wrestling the firmament, how has it filigree spiraled to these fomentation golems, which best do our stars write?

The golem lunged at Berakh who slid back from the parry force. Pyeisa and Gyadalta drew arms, but Meluoi hesitated them back with otherworldly confidence they could not contradict. Struck and strike Berakh and the golem countermand fateful percussive encounter, each destiny power imprinting upon blank real. Clash sparks showered unsolidities to forge might we cleaved beneath canyon gorge yearn drizzle of mana. A strike and another strike, tensing and shouting, the hum of something which, were we immersed in it, might bellow sublime. Each lunge lumped my throat with fear like stuffed with sawdust. Hurt to watch which is why in so much danger flinched to focus, or were danger in we, parallel anymore to our await laid this confliction scenes? The golem grew larger with each hit. Occlude the room crushing bulk? Beating at dwindling figure somehow dignified Berakh pertained to the sickening roil statuesque. The golem struck to a blade, and the hit resounded through us magnified, the blade magnified, swordspan outplanar the tower to slice in dazzling sunprisms, plashforge once more moteblaze feint, in a blink we shrunk back to lambent, avowal passive relented the golem to bow. Berakh turned to us invitation. "Eyeh what so such a go ah?" Yakacza. "Did anyone see the whole blade thing hor?" Pyeisa. "What and with the light though?" Mylecz. "We have proven permissive of horizon, so we are welcomed to orrery. Come, sailors, let us seek [[sanctity->mstart19]] at last in finality’s refuge." Meluoi. "What now?" Gyadalta. "Hey oh, where’s the sword of it?" Vasya. "What are you, no, no!" Meluoi. Vasya banged at the golem to unhinge a sword no longer so massive, but it raised itself a rocky roar and boomed fallen Vasya clattering profanely, limp. Volya rushed to his side, but Berakh whisked him off as battered into oblivion the golem the corpse. Volya splattered profanely, hypertensive. He whirled from Berakh’s grip asnarl lunging sharps, but clattered, limp. "Fjelske, you’ve the Iskeru killed!" Mylecz. "He’s not dead, Volya," Gyadalta over shoulder slung him. "Vengeance yet this one." He glared at Berakh, impassive. Leiska began to berate Meluoi, who stress sighed, signaled us to where rapidly curvature carved in stone Staircase climbing to a whispery automatically our knees unlocked to lead.

Revection beams rubied the saber as the statue struck, sparks bell blade. Whirl vertigo sliced air eruptures superheated to shapesbend. Convocation of clash cling, singer and statue molten. Instantiation pride resilience horror emanates aura of aureus Berakh, invocation of beyond interpolation ebulliently infrangible, beautiful brutal of now towards nowhen, grace timeless interlacer scalpel. What capacities they pointed eluded we who awed in thermal baskoliths bathed, obelisk acolytes bereft of the teaching to commune, energy sapped to a brilliance apart. Rays of what does he say? Meluoi gripped my hand, jolted nearly out of my skin at the touch, but she turned to me taut to tie me to her severity, she whispered in between tongues of dawn, and what did not dawn on me nodded me agreeing, as if I thought. She was nodding too. She let go of my hand, and I looked upon the ivory insignia, blazed harsh so nearly close to collapsing and crying, but beneath my fist I didn’t. "When hey they finish?" Vasya yawned. Meluoi tensed, she started screaming, arguing, but the statue interceded in an impaling, Vasya drew hatchier breaths as Volya shrieked, but Berakh behind struck the statue unguarded, and it bled bright. In the mixing of blood pooled a door which opened itself out of which arose a [[Staircase->mstart19]]. "Our pen is dyed in their denial," Meluoi muttered when permitted to cease screaming.

Huddled a dusky group, slime brick inkling around my shoulders and spine, the thick half hush of our voices a sugary gloaming culling the vestiges of the outside's impetus. "Okay, so, it lurked in a blankhouse," Mariena, "and it had six limbs, none of them arms or legs but weird mixtures, right, fingers and eyeballs and yellow toenails all over." Yakacza swallowed. Tasyumi nodded. "And it crawls on the roof like a spider, but it lunges like a howler, and when it growls it is so low you won't hear it, almost like the sound's afraid of escaping." "Do I have a bow?" Tasyumi. "I mean, if it's gonna lunge." "Wait, I'm not done. It lives inside the blankhouse, but on monsoon nights it can escape, and when it does, it hunts for children." "Don't they always?" Yakacza laughed. "Leiru's one did too." "Just listen! It's got six claws on all its limbs, but it wouldn't go for you with them, it would only scratch you with its claws, but it would scratch and scratch and scratch, and as it scratched they'd shred your skin, then your bones, then your insides, and it'd keep digging in your body no matter how hard you try to run. Once it gets you, you can never get it off. You could stab it, run as fast as you can, whip yourself around, slam doors on it, jump in the sea, but you could never free yourself of its digging until you laid down to die and just let it dig." "I mean, can you kill it though?" Tasyumi. "While it's digging? Like stab it before it finishes killing you." "No, once it's on, it feeds off you, even if it dies. Like the corpse keeps going." "No, that's not fair," Yakacza. "You're not allowed to make it unkillable." "It's not unkillable, you just have to stop it first. Leiru's one you had to stop it first, you never said anything about his." "That's cause his was a super easy beisza, only had to wrap it up." "Yakacza!" Kaiya huffed. Yakacza grinned and shrugged. "Eyuh stop interrupting hey! I never interrupted your turns ah." "I thought you were done," Kaiya. "I wasn't, Tasyumi just asked me a question." "Fine. I'm sorry Mariena, go on." "Well anyways, out on the hunt the monster cause it's a monsoon, and you're a guard on the uppers, all of the sudden you hear a cry from the building next to you, right, and so you're a guard, right, so you rush and rush and rush, kick open the door, but there, in the room, is a mom and her kiddie and the monster! What do you do?" "Baelu!" Yakacza laughed. "Yakacza!" He snickered. "How old's the kid?" Tasyumi. "I don't know, it can't walk yet, but it's not like a littlest baby." "Boy or girl?" Yakacza. "Does it matter?" I. "Yeah, does it matter? It's eating them, why would you care?" Mariena. "I mean, if it's a boy, maybe it could –" Sufficient glowers surfeited the need from furthers. "It's like a baby Yakacza ehh, you gonna throw rattlers or so?" "You said it wasn't a baby." "I said it wasn't littlest." "No, you said it wasn't a baby, but now you're saying it is a baby." "Oh gods, that is not what I –" "You'd have a weapon already," Tasyumi. "You're a guard, aren't you? So you can fight right away anyway." "Yeah, you have a weapon, obviously." "I charge the monster," I. "Charge it? But it's so big and horrible, you're gonna charge that?" "I mean, isn't that what I'm supposed to do? How is that not the answer? I'm a guard." "The answer? Who cares about the answer? It's, it's what you would do, not what you should do. Why aren't you guys playing when it's my turn? I played when –" "I still charge it though." "No you don't," Mariena. "No you don't," Yakacza. "No but I do, that's my choice is, and maybe I lose okay, but I'm a guard, that monster is attacking someone, I have a duty, you know? Sometimes what you should do is what you would do." "Yeah, I agree," Kaiya. "I charge the monster too." "Oh, well aren't you lot just so courageous," Mariena sighed. "Valorous," I smiled at Kaiya. "Huh?" Yakacza. "Like Yenysz. Valorous." "Like what?" "Yenysz, he's from the [[taleworld->mstart19]], my mother reads about him. He always fights monsters, and when he does, she says it's valorous." "What's your mom know?" Tasyumi. "When's she ever gone outside?"

Again the golem spoke, again Berakh answered. Again the – "What're they saying?" Vasya shouted. Meluoi whirled. "What are you doing? Bszkh nya, what'd you say?" "What are they saying? Why's he talking to that statue?" Meluoi wild eyed. "Everyone, step away! Get back. You" she pointed threateningly at Vasya "don't move. I said to be silent. You did this to yourself. I, I can't believe..." "What are you on about? Relax beisza, only the asking a question, wasn't trying to –" Roaring through its carved stood the golem dizzyingly tall and thrust open its chest where pumped a small nightshade oval rippling with a tempest shrinking to its source a spiraling electric spear bloating from its power that surged, splashed on Vasya leaving nothing behind but a universal blink. Volya scrambled forward clutching at the ground, searching for Vasya in the nothing. He sputtered incomprehensible froth, flayed the scene for the one not underneath, frenzy sunk to him kneeling, sweat swinging his glare like a knives pendulum first to Meluoi, then the golem, then Meluoi, mouthing: "What happened?" "This isn't some game," Meluoi's voice breaking. "Did the statue downstairs seem like a bit of fun to you? This isn't a joke! Did I not tell you to be silent? Did I not make this absolutely clear? Why he had to answer before the Seleph, I will never know. I clearly told him, you heard me, I told you all to stay back, to be careful, that this was a series of traps, this is a serious –" "You did this then! You killed him, you and your, this whole –" He waved inclusively at the room. "I didn't tell your friend –" "My brother, you beisza!" "I tried to warn whoever it was. He spoke of his own accord, without my consent, so it's not my fault what happened. If he had just waited –" "For what? For you to bless him your magic nonsense hey? These are your Floors, your geskecz this is that killed him, you've to answer for it! You're killers, both of you, all of you!" "No, you're the killers!" Meluoi. "You're the ones who –" "You can't be serious!" "I'm the only one who ever is! I've seen it with my own eyes, what you and the rest have done. You kill without regard for the sanctity of life, you willfully murder human beings like it's a joke, you disregard the lives of others without the slightest compunction, not even blood focuses you. You have no concept of the value of a person, you discard them like trash. Don't talk to me about our protective measures when you're the, the wastrels that –" "The hell you just? Kyauska, I'll kill you!" Volya. "That's what I'm saying! Everything you are is violence!" "What are we doing here anyway?" Leiska. "I'm sick and tired of losing men for your stupid –" "Your men, yes, how quaint your scope," Meluoi. "I don't want to hear it from you either, Lieutenant. Maybe when you deign to look them in the eyes you can call them yours." "Quite the socialite we got here," Pyeisa. The three of them slapped Pyeisa with glares. He shrugged. The golem returned to lotus. Meluoi put an arm out to silence the argument. "Hush now! Please, seriously, I mean it. I don't want to see anyone else hurt." "No, I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of you, I'm sick of this damn Tower, and I'm done with dying for your worthless kepka!" Volya charged the golem, Meluoi interjected herself, but he punched her aside, swung his lance. Boom clatter shimmer wave of Volya a rocket, smash slump lay he head on hilt in a clump. "Fjelske!" Kostiye. "Did it kill him too?" "I don't know!" Meluoi held back tears. "He's likely unconscious, we can check in a second. Now quiet down, don't any of you say anything! It's for your own good, I'm serious." "I can't believe –" Leiska. "Silence, you idiots! Please, I can't, don't you see the riddle's resetting!" The golem, the same mineraly voice sliding out words not its own, repeated the poem. Where is the lace that binds us? I tried to feel like... Berakh spoke. Crystalline frost mingling together a dewy bond icewritten gliding sparkled eyes dribbling marblefalls into a mixing pillowy floe eddying at the base in pearly foam too thick to discern color from color though they all scintillated like earthen marvels peeking to the surface for the first time astonished. Berakh in a bloom dawn over the liquid mixture raised his hand, then turned back to us, the shine halo his difference [[shown->mstart19]], let us interpret the sky. "He's not dead," Gyadalta hoisted up the unconscious Volya, "just nighted. Soon, I'm sure, he'll make us aware of it."

Dialogic intercrosses coupled the restrictive distances. Golem and response bettered on the groundlink our airy unperch faded from comprehenge chartable. Depthed stable a call and response orchestrated eonic beyond our commits - "Fjelske is so beisza talking to the stone?" Vasya. Meluoi blanched. First the golem turned, then Berakh did not turn. Meluoi sweeped animatedly at us. "Fall back to the Staircase, lot of you, retreat, retreat, no, you there, you stay there, you have, how did, why -" Meluoi. "Fall back?" Pyeisa. "Seen ho these getters, she says back you back." Gyadalta. "Aye orderling, just but what -" "No, you stay forward, you answer -" Meluoi. "What're you on hey? Blitzed tizzy, are you?" Vasya. "What game is this?" Volya. "Didn't say she Floor was a trap?" Leiska. "How can a Floor be a trap?" Yakacza. "What does that even mean?" Golem levitated to catch bled gleam slatted from slits of sky, hummed sapphirical to corporate, psionic petaline radiance empyreon. Interpositional posipositor overlayed Vasya eminence emblemance. Berakh recaught the tune, the golem and the Seleph spoke, until cobalt shine seared our eyelids open to a beckoning [[Staircase->mstart19]]. Overloaded we paused to recalibrate; Volya's screaming rejoined, scrabbling at the nothing for whom he had once loved there, raged himself flounced upon Meluoi, but she cast off his frothing, and Gyadalta held him, shouted hoarse rocking him out of the dangerous as so many for so many years you somehow accept the legacy your own, and at the first relent always overflows the anger tears relinquish of engaged.

Hole of a continuous reshuffled brain lacunae to uniquely miss this, their transcendence. Suffused with dulleds, I groped through caverns, fell face first into shadows, how I have always felt them. Nervous to appear nonnervous Meluoi indicated capacities that slipped right through this skin, this envision insufficient. She reigned too perspicacious, oblivious to my not. Torsional trends of their tongues eclipsed the steady, confluence convected invective, reciprocity impossibles in which I demise - "What so they say then?" Vasya. "No, no you, hush, shh, you cannot interrupt the -" Meluoi. "I’m just asking as I can’t hear the words real hey." "Please, please stop, there’s no -" "Like if we can’t understand, why are they speaking so intensely?" Ceases the song as increases hyperventilation Meluoi shrieking for us to fall back as one by one we do, as I notice mountainside impassive Berakh disdains, as encroaches the statue upon us its blades, tongues, Vasya shruggles twain. Wait, what? Volya runs up to the difference between brothers. There is a pause that echoes where we have felt it before. "Vasya…" Like it was shouted. Folded into ourselves the rhetorical puncturation. "Leya…" "Everyone, you have to fall back quickly, the guardian is resetting, the Seleph must -" "Guardian! Guardian! You and your pissproud celebrate this gate yeah? How dare you, you, you bookwhore!" Given the gravity, she shrugged the gravitas. "Just, please, for your sake, for everyone’s safety, stay silent, let the Seleph’s destinymaking fulfill. Please do not interrupt violence more sacred than ours." "Sacred? What about this is sacred? You and all your Literature be damned, you deathslut, yego worst, you beisza of -" Meluoi nodded to me. I smashed a scabbard against his skull. He fell. Leiska punched me. I fell. Meluoi begged everyone to please please shut up or you will be killed. Gyadalta slowly rocked Volya back conscious. Berakh and the statue resumed singing in a purity exclusion inviolable even as a [[doorway->mstart19]] emerged.

Worship incorporates your exhumative will. Sheltered in the perfect form of a painted on glass. Berakh beautiful in the rhythm of muscle against marble, entwining. Humanity majesty objection beyondness nature vortex horizonal brutal. Magnification of existent unto reciprocral demand, assurance of stone in the pickaxe swing. Stasis virulence rippled, we within its web warped reflective, uncertainty of resolve, impermanence causalities network fretting the reaver, obsolence ignition rewires the relevance, a firmament burning through foundations, upon what all this light presumes. Chants float from his struggle, how it captures us, should we not sing along, have we not earth persisters been singing so all along? Meluoi gesticulated when veridian aria heat rewrote most of our plausible into pellucid a [[doorway->mstart19]] smote of stone, we who seethe against.

"What's there to see aya? You got a show planned or?" Yakacza. "Just witness." She dreamed. The rabble muttering jades. Meluoi hardened into a heavy frown: what serves it for a beacon to diminish beneath the ire of torches? I wanted to feel, but why did I feel so utterly wan, when will the color flush my face afresh? Indistinct imprint floating bland over a unanimity recursively reflecting me back into this putrid self, will this air breathe in light? Intangible flux what one will wield, who is the right realization? Meluoi read our together forbidden, she was herself right now even with bristling jeers behind. Why do I not? What is wrong with me? Why is her rightness steel where mine is cloth? They tread on the idea that me as myself is a joke. I in my natural mode am deficient, I should be someone else, but Meluoi was herself, how, when they stare and know, oh they always know! Isn't that why she stands, she also knows, and this is her resilient power? Believe in your as she hers, what shimmers through the surface is pure, bow not to the demons of doubt, I will not, not... why though, what good is a soul that burns that scorches nothing? There is a tack in my brain that does not stop, that jumbles through my thoughts and punctures the nerves in selfsavage leaps, but why not let it assault! Let it crescendo under drum blazes, it cannot outplay me, it is only a negation, slope unstoppably forward even as their hyena thirsts trill the midnight air, I am myself beyond the difference, fling forward my head to shoot my brain a bullet! I will be the blade I wish to wield! The simulacrum erased in words as Berakh stood once again in the center, strong. In sapphire lit our invitation to the Veda. Out of the sheer gray granite a [[doorway->mstart19]] emerged blistering the smooth surface with elegant column contours, thin grooves tunneling through gemstone lights empyrean to an age ageless. Meluoi turned to me with a troubled need. I strained to find a face to smile this.

Organic system in which you do not belong, will not appear, cannot interpose. Equilibrium generated by unmediated priors, your additionalism a destabilizer. Except you cannot, there is no you, wasp flocked upon nutrient true sting sting stinging identity, falseness of thereness, presumption of presence. Each virus particle convinced of its self as replicate plague to glimpse in its massacre mirror minefield. Why not dissipate into an assurance stronger than you, a here that [[endured->mstart19]] before you, endures without you?

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XIX''] --- [[Art->mart]] assembles to accept this proto I an image sustains over our crawling inconsequentiality before the break resuscitates [[exclusion->mexclusion]], elder structures in the forever echo in which vibration we spilled formless beneath foundationals. Beyond the ticking divisions that humanize sublimity dilate your pupils to snowsea valleys to see the art as shadow play of the symphony spirit. Effervescence [[hallucination->mhallucination]] lucidity glimpsed gravitationally lensed by glitches in our construction of the problem of being toward beauty: how dare you levitate as the sky's cobalt cable slowly raises the curtain on its true unspeakable form wholly inaccessible to the notion of needing to breathe. Ambient amber solar paled to night, opal flames in topaz blazes sugary colloidals in superworldly vividness to suggest the dim collide our stumbling ways insist upon the problem of afterwords. Etched ebony encasing drifting figures drenched marscape millennia onyx. Glyph riddles seraphim artisans solve by posing in them labyrinths for a postfact [[wanderer->mwanderer]] are the individualization myths in a cradle gaze split over malachite shards dangling a crest over the pulsing abyss, white field with wheeling patterns peridot spoked. Each relic combined, unreckonable religion: celestium beseechless by its pure conception. Beneath spinel resplendence, gilds on icy silvers, hulking crystals confluence, all this glitter over obsidian, scream neon smash every dayshade gem, I am the night with no dawn. You cannot [[encase->mencase]] me in your benediction, our shrinking your prayer that in nothing may we find more than this immensity, but I am indeed that nothing, the need to breathe. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Bask beneath outlast, traveler, transit of endurances exclusion of your presence, a million passes gate you. Belonging to nowhere warms your touch upon each [[contingency->mcontingency]] undulating to release, simply will, entruster: quantify this persist in labors, so there might be more than me in the next without, which [[dawns->mdawns]] anon, I recline beneath the occluder titan, incorporation eclipser.

Culling dawn of the deathless sun necromanced my spirit from its bed too slippery and foamed me across a thin window convexity refracting the light backwards like a mirror seen through a mirror seen through a mirror that was shattered and the clouds in it clumped, sick with plague, sun a waste yellow, semblances rent grotesque, ashamed in cinder eyes, so shivering I turned to cast my pity onto its bland white doppelganger, floor chiaroscuro, seeking through the overlay a hint of the desecration's cause, caesura sunken amongst infinitely extending spire vines and webbing domes, fingernail towers, groaning expanse an indeterminate black below, but nothing leveled, nothing flattened, swathes smoothed only to lurch up jungly enjambed to jumbleslam the skymist harsh, retaliatory snarl visceral unto the moment's limits' bit, and their inversion of my sight's containment seared in a flashing light whiter, cooler, frozen sun sunrise stared at from inches away, retinas burnt to that still image forever, a century uncalibrated to the parching and punched, jostling stagger backs from jugular pounces until splat scatter to awakened, the white hot freezing still still over the starless desert, mystic whispers crying for answers but ever by winds rejoined, counterconjuring nothing stained glass through which menace mutes unification unto finality fog, where in this crawling trawled trills the call to me to [[beckon->mexclusion]], so why arise, hobbling away down a hallway twisting in its turns until the roof clanged my feet tiptoeing along small v shaped valleys, chest first on the wall, pushing the door, stepping outside, I...

Thick crush percussion on eardrums dummed. This is what the crescendo does not consider: stumbling backwards to the start. Ending flash, stream into the power, but what if I choke on the notes streaming my own way to... and will they, the everyone, let me rain? The hugeness, the vastness, deleted soul, nadirs smoldering in otherness beneath this vaulting zeal. Who were we but acclimatized denoms, unnamed empty altars whose senseless incense was not lit? Lantern [[vermeil->mvermeil]] mail, how to don your glow without living in your outer accord? Magnificence bulwark upon which we splatter aimless hedonists of the no pleasures. Why in stone so alone? What would it be to actually be? Crumbling leaf into the breeze through forest shadeds wryly upon the smirk of the riddling phantasms musing our phantom fabricate fade spirals through these asymmetries of mortar and glass vines knotting art [[multiplicities->mmultiplicities]] bobbing glistens like grapes: whole temples of wool, entire shrines of lace. Pike peaks intervened to suggest the unsaid endless else. Torch banners rapidly changing colors. Bloodless loftiness the infinite carat canopy supplied. Yellow smoke cloudettes in dreamy rhythms like a pulse from some immobile creature on a timescale more logarithmic than organic pondering, work. Busts to recognize other than your own perfected to radiant benevolence scowls.

Sharp the shift to single scene. [[Tresses->mtresses]] curled behind her ears batting like cat's paws against the braids tight against temples. Resting on her elbow, half outstretching her other hand as if to receive some gift, against the hot city marble blazoned she [[blackberry->mblackberry]] fire whose purpling ashes lapped our tongues long, drippy. At our arrival eked she our direction small ripple quickly to retract to a rustle on silk smile. Berakh moved to her and combined they woodwind tongue, sonorous lilts lilylike on so stern an excellence. Whatever they said, even how long they conversed, none of us would measure had we our bearings, could we but see through popping novas sparkling brighter blindness, had any of this made solidity so we could demand from their dancing such. Berakh nodded to Meluoi who kissed the join of her wrists to mirror the lady's gesture. With an air of gentle seniority the lady gestured further arcanities before returning to Berakh's suddenly, I noticed, beautifully rigid face, and as heatless lightning they spake wooed decadence churn. At last he motioned to us with [[equanimity->mequanimity]] and with grace she curtsied acknowledgment. "Dearest of sailors, I welcome you to our preservation of paradise," inclining her head politely. "We have heard your arrival as it has been in us foretold; you echo from within us oursewn. That your voyage includes this shore, may we relish the blessing: Kapinya appreciates the care that you've taken of our cherished Ayeri." "Oh nothing to it hey," Gyadalta. "What we do hor?" "For, forgive me if I, can I not to your tongue," Yakacza, entranced, "but I cannot imagine any paradise more paradisical than this." The enigma of a mien which with too many possibilities means nothing. "We do but what we [[can->mcan]] and agonize the less."

Murals which speak to truths no one could live, idol queens of infinite capacities. Emotional truths nonderived from any contingent truth, strictures reality of our interpretive faculty. You can read yourself in their [[miens->mexclusion]] more than any mirror. Representation alienation purity reprocesses sentence, in sign signified and hollowed, basis for any depictive plane, possibilities of your boundaries.

[[Faces->mexclusion]] intricacies glyph the sinuous shine. Beautiful instantiation firing your desire to hoardsmith, cavernous perfects resplendent with false suns, enough and it is enough, it is never enough, in the gaps between glories you shiver infinite imaginations yet to solidify trinket. Whoever lives last will have artifacts fantasies to supersede their need to breathe, but each before crafts ravenous.

Accumulation of alterities acts as its own terminus. You processed into this matrix encellular. Convexities of promulgates you cannot cross, how should you witness the raging surge? Millennia swallowing rapids in each act eternal, heroic reliefs of myths you cannot stitch to multiplicity [[inhabitance->mexclusion]], you have lost the art, as so many before you have lost you. Grave of our commons gilded glorious, this omnipresence pleurality that need never unlike you breathe. Rose precious a morganite laces graceful the looseness of placeness angel of hours I have heaved heavy starry behind my migraine pulse vein maximation in debonaire upon wheelwhirl engineer of automation foundries, gears that selfturn replicatives fricative against friction of ores smelted in crucibles emulating her designs, how they hell, steel witch of vengeances clanking the scrap to steel, how she hovers in steam saintess miracle. Serendibite plume gently jaggeds adjudicator, sheathe of violence, branding seal, inclusioner of narrative fomenteds unrepentent of earth, magmatic uneartheds seething shineshut all exteriority bulged upon the bound in which do we promise and permute, palliation justiciar of hyle recalcificance reigning rupture over individual arcs whishing through interlacing continuities, networks of response we retroactively assume as fated linear she weaves to patterns future perturbsons can replicate interrogate interrobang to arc afresh, tomorrows we imagine of today's sinewous urges, sibyl of terra subverse she who majesty inhumes exanima, goddess of afterlives reckonable solely of these forms symbols. Moonstone despair sybarite wonders wreathes the melancholy, ghostmancer of nightmares romance, heroine of ancient sacred terror who sleeves these doubts in diorama elegances, riddles revered of connections which cannot further be repaired, irreducible ambiguity which generates all imbuals, we who relish precious the problem to pellucid haunted lace shrouds swim in freedom unmoored moonlightly.

Isn't annihilation of self the magnanimous capacity for continue? Impossibility nexus those who retain identity in immersions' phantoms, those who achieve inurnquit essence. Tourniquet philtre jeweled emotive to drinksear your selfsense raw reformable, can you not grow only from gash? Hurt yourself productive. Delimited, you can pursue. Why else perceive beyond [[boundaries->mcontingency]]? Listless hedonists of fantasies sprawled nude across insistences, limpid outgrowths of gyre, [[selfcullers->mdawns]] more erasure than austere the blank canvass. Painterly positional allows to posit confrontation liminals, additional humanities. Only reduced can you adduce conduction, how it confluencies. I hear you how I heal. Isn't that lovely enough? Why should I want anything of self, when already are there so many so [[magnificent->mexclusion]]? Cursed wreck, what could I induce? No body but who assembles through [[wanderer->mwanderer]] of spirit groves.

"Convocated in this sacred sound I emerge from dispersions their echo [[bounding->mencase]], here I replicate the limitates that elated me, enraged me, eviscerated we, how littly we could recall our names read, koreot lakoreim li shem shani koret in cataclysm and closure, can you hear it call you, keszenicza duvinene pa kolikh elikh, Myneme so deeply buried?" "That you call Nyneme so the winter storm reaches [[not->mexclusion]] the lonely peak, maximum point of aboveture over the curvature vanity, summons the ice wind seize, how it through your pierceds breathes. Ask of me [[multitudes->mmultiplicities]], reach you this nullpointer. Of this no more do I manifest, riven causal terminal to streams [[empyrean->mvermeil]]."

Wavy black could curls nightrain over starry night cheeks gently [[melding->mmelded]] to promontory jaw waterfalling to swathe the corset stiff neck. Redolently suffusive of shadow dreams swayed to her semisleep coy plush expressives, settling in airy contours she presumed on which each motion turned. Fullness softness I wanted to weep to cradling nightwatches she trebled between conductor gestures to flick delight zestuous subtle vibrations to heurist infuse homily, tresses like luxurious touch impossibility, inhumanity absence of witness, dream electricity runs through your veins to neon your color in my hollows where I voyager need your angel compass, Meluoi who greets her as she never could me, and I must murder myself the difference, only then, only then, sealed awayness by her opulent locks... "Fellowship shall we cherish in this unity we adventure to this Hauntmoon. Deliverers of dream, shall we rest before our labors? I shall show you where you can [[reside->mhearth]] as real as what awaits you."

Plush repose enovaled her pursed blackberry aura, juicy sacred lush intense. Surmises dribbled from eyeshadow [[designs->mmelded]] wrinkling to grin suppressed, or do I simply project joy? She alighted upon the ambiguity and restrode there to pathways through diode architraves fluting to caryatid loom, plum gazes which syrupy buzzed the visive curving to crennellate a cupolarity, gravity lens sugary pastels to ribbony undulate chroma flares written in rinceaux rebounding over towering mezzanines landings for mezzosoprano volute throats to swirl starry nights. Followingly we interpreted the tracery sherry to where plunked we seasick [[drunk->mhearth]].

"You're the Veda then?" Gyadalta. "Is there something special to you or?" "We are [[continuous->mmelded]] is what erases us, embraces us, elevates this." She lifted her wrist to where resplendence flared us to shy. "You're a brute batch is what so, the cruelty of, of, beisza..." Volya. "Brutal, yes, we accept your terms, they can also describe this mysterion." "How dare you -" "Indeed, we do." In a tone that darkened Volya too in himself deeply to respond. "So you got powers hey? Can launch people into the air or delete their minds?" Pyeisa. "Amplification in person permits us depth beyond altering surfaces." "You read books yeah?" Yakacza. "Could we like trade you for one, ought to get a souvenir, some takeaway from all this." "In as you ask as a scavenger, I cannot abide, it would not bless you as much as unobjected desire." "You're not going to give me a book? I climbed all this way for nothing?" "Of course, of course, we must be mindful of your difficulties. Here is a journal for you to fill, my beloved potentiate, gilded as your heart. For each of you such a gift." "See yeah Leiska? You've judged them short hey, they're wondrous up here." Mylecz. "They belie us with trinkets. Keep your focus to parse what these slip." Leiska. The lady's smile does not tilt, nor does Meluoi's peaceful, nor Berakh's imperceptibility pure. "As to gifting difficulties, you all got a drink hey? I'm exhausted of places to be tired." Kostiye. "Of course, we offer unto you whichever [[sleep->mhearth]] you ask of us."

"You, I mean," Yakacza shook his head, "you sure can." "I appreciate your adjudgment, be it however of admiration. I brook no insult, neither mine nor yours, so we brightness the differing." "Huh?" "Well," her sleepy wide nod caught me in its fling to higher perception tingling. "You all must be exhausted, having braved so much for so long. Our honor would be to accommodate warriors of such a noble thought. I hope our humble rubble will suit your tastes," she beckoned with a finger as she [[melded->mmelded]] with the haze. "It does remind us so of home." Revolving constantly between an airy forward lilt and a backstep she turned to watch us through arches imperious to sanctify the passersby with illustrious pasts imagined and real to be imagined, through garden paths corsaged with magenta blossoms mauve against the city's aurorals' aura tinting, through cedars lining a leaflove path serpenting up to our arc like the hand of a clock counting to clouds which wove us to the touch silkening she laceblazed our delirium to from thick boughs built a temple to the [[hearth->mhearth]] crackling.

Out of shimmer cliffs she carved in a single blown sigh a hearth in which we found rapidly wrapping around us wooden hall, tables, carpet, crackling orange glow to evening intensify dowsed, an impassive force surrounded by ivying up the wall shelves rich with... crestfallen my face scrunched as if in hopes my aspect swallowed in insular escape... humanoid smiling the precise styling to subdue the jarred within us. "Upon our enchanting may this entity assume the grandeur you envisioned of us," the lady. "I guess uh, well, em." Gyadalta. "Could be only the warm lah to chant me so," Kostiye. "Baelu a bed for my breaking." The lady inclined her head in what was still sunshine. "Sure as blisters could use a drink," Pyeisa limped to the nearest barstool. "What got you tomeslurpers?" "Being of this summon, our vintages, won't you, Elikeph?" It slightly bowed. Disarming both expressions and arms. Pyeisa swigged what had been nameless poured for him, sighed satisfied. "Tell you what though, always accounted you Veda weren't wringers, bit stiff, but who isn't to crave some stiffs now and then ehaha?" "Ace, taste of that," Gyadalta. "Absolute ace there. Glad put all that nastiness away yeah? You Veda have ever been decent to me. Why I've had your back, you know. Anyone who brews this good can't be so bad." Meluoi bent her lips. "Please, you are at what is most your home," the lady. "Relax into its reprieve. If I may but beg from you one indulgence, I would very much desire to borrow our two Ayeri friends that you so kindly and capably guided hence. Some catching by is in order, if that's your phrase. There is much as [[Veda->mveda]] we must parse." "Take them," Yakacza waved. "Don't bring them back," Leiska muttered glumly.

Flourish reduced the cupola to stamp upon substrata this presence revision, stenciling reincision inscribing zenith on each arc moment entire in its zenoine, prescriptor adducer recombinating computational frames in which could represented deduce from specular artefacts progenor design, index conclusive tangent networks correspondence of above and notionally below, singulated tessellation of coordinates to azimuthal shadow on parallelogrammatic modalities perducer circuits enclosing vantages eclipse occlusional deluge to blend in negatives to verb reverb verifier, actuality of this constrict constructor annunciated in our indifferential enmeshment fragments of no more enumerateds elevated isolated to parhelion. How could we interpret the signs but as we phrase? We found ourselves in a tavern more brilliant than we had known them. "To your homes I welcome you, brethren of the challenge, benedicting your pursuance. Please, find sanctity in your choice." The lady. "Hey oh, top gear this ply." Kostiye. "How'd, where'd this even come from? You've a magic yeah, you made it build so?" Pyeisa. "Never ask a lady her magic, just drink it." Gyadalta sidled up the bar. "I wish this joy and a thousand further to bless you. If I could but borrow your [[Veda->mveda]], I shall I assure you return them unto you, but I should so desire to hear their manifest." The lady. "Yeah go for it lah." Yakacza. "Where are you taking them?" Leiska. "To a temple, we have rites to perform." The lady. "A temple? And what's in it?" Leiska. The lady sparkled clear brook water laughter. "You've a koan I must ponder, I thank you, Lieutenant, your wisdom." "That doesn't answer the question." "They're used not to answering their crimes." Volya.

Bowed slightly the lady making to leave. Meluoi hesitated, speaking nervously in the old tongue. Berakh seemed nonplussed. The lady blinked politely, offering a dubious reply. Meluoi kept talking, earnestly, then motioned to me. Confused, I swiveled to see her mark, but, impatient, she motioned harder, nearly bursting into my name. Tentative, I approached, hot under the glares. "Emninu, recite the poem I heard you say. The one when we first met, you remember?" My mind clarified into my [[mother->mmother]] softly as I nestled close. I folded my hand in her larger enrapture, studious to her whispers heard I an ode weave a glade under [[premythic->mpremythic]] dawns bearing a bliss worth reliving until the life escaped the re, the [[reason->mreason]], the rendition, the real: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Delaya esero so, Yketczana amiya nlo, Nabyisi krali moya no... Kralyiski keilana nyo, Delaya yedama dyo, Deiyanasz swa dieya vo, Yketczala esiro so."] I opened to see the lady stare. "Wherever did you learn this?" "Meluoi, uh the Veda, I mean, sorry. My mother too. It was my mother then the Veda. They, she, she, the Veda, she taught me the rest. Yes, sorry." Wheedling judgments penetrated my skin virus freerunning the blood to toxic shock musclespasmed my trying to be what no one would acknowledge me to be. Swatting doubters with alien claws, inert desire. I wasn't anybody, no, I was no one. [[Meluoi->mmeluoi]] sought in me a reflection that wavered hollow, she mined for my mother in me but scratched against this paler corpus. Wasn't it obvious? Accept these alterations dissipate to leave only the scorching no substance. Lower stretching threatening the grimace exposed the gulf growing between Meluoi and I, the certainty that here could my execution drained from my [[dilatory->mdilatory]] meanwhile delusions totality suffocator impend. In staying politely still she racked her fellowship to its utmost, the crack faulting closer to completion, but the lady's icy pools studied noncommittally in isolation from us and our awkwardness. A twinge developing to no balled me to terror; I blurted: "I want to be a Yamicz." She laughed. "Yes, I suppose you should be. You came this far, didn't you?" Tried to catch my heart as it swam. Meluoi patted my shoulder depressurized sigh. Several confusions from my companions splat, but Meluoi interposed. I fled the recriminations, followed the immense beckoning. Spiraled into the complexities escarpment unto an earthen behemoth unslumbering to question the sun about the ages we unanswer sublimate whisperwings sailing over floating fathoms of fire surrounded by the sole sphere of ultramarine accumulating celestiality supernova in voids physicaline origentations [[progenitoreum->mprogenitoreum]] thought infinitely irrevocably intrinsic in the hymn in which I heard, swear I heard, from elder architectures echo my mother's starlight vigil of that [[sad->msad]] long ago. Upon which we glide is never in cessation.

I just want to be loved. Sorry, I didn't mean that, I'll get back into position, I deserve hate, I must miserate it terminal, there is no salvation but the one the deletes me. We must undo the cosmos or ourselves or whichever bleeds most. Life is a series of revocations that sublimate to [[exteriority->minsular]] bliss. Every aspect of my being is repulsive and must be denied before there can be space for authenticity, or it's that authenticity itself is the trap, choosing what you construe authentic is sin foremost. I have to be slaughtered purposeful. Teach me the way. Sorry, what an incredibly stupid and morbid thing to say, I want to be loved, absolute delusional, repulsive such a narcissistic insulation from selfviolence. What an utterly childish desire, the feeling of love, what even is that that would be valuable, it's insipid basking for warmth. Love doesn't even mean anything, it's a vague nexal knot in which we invest our failed projections, an acummulated tumor of societal demands unrealizable, an abuse [[vector->mdesolarities]] intended to lull the vulnerable. Love is a conditional mirage for desire's wasps. I want to be loved is a muddle mewler seeking some victim to espouse fulfillment in just the very holes I am least. Interpersonal slavery all this, this... or well it probably isn't so bad, love, it's a good thing that we should cherish, comes often enough to crackle humanity in this [[furnace->mempyres]], and if it is innately limited, well, so are we. What good would be unconditional love? Who could plumb it deep enough to prove it? That some outlast their loves, inquire within their soaks and severances. I am reprehensible, I have hurt, so I deserve nothing but hatred. I must be broken time and time again in penance. My existence is worthless, life is an untenable audacity I ask of those I wound, the absolute selfishness of deciding on another day after having failed so many previous! I should be murdered. I cannot wait for Volya to kill me, I must invite him to annihilate this wretched ongoing, filth of survival horror any pleasure I delight, if someone compliments me, this is thievery of those who have the right to gut me, suck the wound for nutrients. I am an active abomination, and I cannot pretend that anything other than endless relentless unimaginable suffering adequates reciprocity for, for, or I don't know, maybe that's a little unfair. Everyone should shut up forever lying flat on the gravel as the sun sweats us honest.

Ascending through abreption of context comingled instance with inferential retroactive spirits singing through hidden [[spherical->mempyres]] firmaments turtle shell domed ungeara recynculated to squircular camera obscura observe the verse unentombed in asphodel [[perspectiventurers->mdesolarities]] actioning betwixt frames to compile quest in sight full. Luminants militated against exemptions emergent from heart murmurs, subject yourself thus screaming nova. Light blinds; peeking behind, is there some translucent surface, primordial texture of whether bubbling heurist to sentience path, cellular flash to judgment of state as body, like a fire transitory debouch bridge between certainty and the airy, celestial insomatique fabricator to consistency systematizing reality to outputs which cohere a composite consciousness of the of and of what. Meluoi intimately percolated within the steps as Berakh majesty circumnavigates the space to spear his push neath its plasmatics, eggshell fractures we ensued. [[Infrapositional->minsular]] glean stratify to emerge multinodal, modality of capacitor integrationing the plane to page, what could he write? We awaited in the swell of possibiliscope.

Studies she the outer revelate in enrichment evection antiquities juicing phases of a countenancing in shadow seen, personmending in a sleight sly wink against lanterns dangling red, lambent rendition [[gloom->mdesolarities]] inciting summerset phantasmies flourishing in hauntrent glare reflectives, bulb of hope throatsunken pearly smooth sheen of bedlam cooled in which to rest to dream, endless [[unglean->minsular]] of [[nomenclades->mempyres]] enclaving in the skullarium orrery, blunt resumeless of tragic preponderance pereginated careless, her adoptive disease sloughed in a fastpanic decadence, recognizing now in her gel confidence its nervous alive, she could break under any of these angel weights, how much more I phantom induced...

Hidden in her hair glare which could contain my balled up below her yoshevet, how deliberately she held still, joints martinet scowling at my wrongly taut, or not even that, gentle as a judge. Confliction chilled to ambient, she ghosted around the room. Toothache buzz ruminated my scrunched mien [[radiator->mempyres]] dullwarm to buzz me above numb a heading ache every way I curled. Intubated and circulated recycled in plasticities rewind, once more pooled on the floor. "Multiphasal is the moon, you will never know, not being taught to enlune, but once there were ones who were, and they scryed their lives in moon’s flourish moods, fearing how will we bounded be under the Levelmoon, rejoicing in extremes as assumes the Polarmoon, szenia kanamiye fuszekh, signs multiply as soons the moon, read next your notational axis. If love languished under the Bittermoon, broken hearts pity pitter their power in poems, have wars sacked capitals in the Fraymoon, hum golden still the pages of a previous age, every tide sifted and tidied upon the shelving more, space yet of another gloom, yet who shall fill it when we cannot name the now amounting moon, sorted by whom its whimsical doom? Will you, little Emnin? Can you read the countless signs between the lines by which we angle its lock azimuth? But if no one names the next moon, do we simply submit to dawns? Perhaps the moon parallels, lost its power along us, and we at last parallax, each moon now unmeanable but to who wists its [[moonshafts->mdesolarities]]. [[Insularity->minsular]] no more to transmission, we languish the same."

Jaufr sighed to the dissolving moon. "So's your it then? You think she doesn't, she's, how can she change, when change is precisely what we were? Change into new change or? How can you, even to believe such a thing? Ban this impossible from your mind for, for, what if tongues drool putrid and no mind mixes it to music? Can it all be without me, will it, won't it, she will! Eight months, Emnin, of nothing, torture recognitions loneliness, with her goes this will to fight, strive, surpass, whatever, time's scything ruins the towers we trade our blood and sweat for. Can't wake up now leh without feeling that I've already died, somehow transmuted in my sleep and what has gone before can no longer correlate to the emptiness, each new night I wake up more ghost moans in the emptied stasis submerged in the outward ongoing to who listens? Sting not even of abandonment but the, the knowing I cannot share it. Because if we all simply continued, who would? We cherish that a thought might become a moment if we chance upon the alchemy, but I have found nothing, found her, she was who made me believe you can make yourself be love, but maybe this is all a trick, life is a brief reprieve for those who can learn to love to dance, but I'm aging in triplicates, how much older must we get before we can enjoy being young? What if no one ever loves you, and time proves all our lies lies? Because I put so much of my soul into her, into our two years, and if it can evaporate, I have nothing left to replace it, no will to trace its imprint elsewhere… I cannot become anything more than what I gave her, and apparently all I gave her is this silence she prefers." Into his own intensified. I in his wake silence. Could I but channel Kaiya, how can I be her... "I, Imeni, at first, you're right to feel this, as in um, as in insofar you sense it a passthrough, as did I when also it killed me, like you, because, you don't want time to keep ticking when all you see ahead is distance, but uh, it's true, it doesn't seem true but it is, you just grow used to it, you grow against it, the numbness remakes you just as much as ever did the rippling vivid, in whatever resignation renders it palpable you can taste simmers of future, you have to, or. Isn't there progress in the pain that gulfs us, isn't void itself a distance? That's the whole, isn't that why we're fighting, that in our defeat we can yet harbor, sometimes you surrender your world to earn dust truly yours?" "Yes, I... but it can't work like that, not without a cause, Emnin, it's the struggle earns existence starker than pains, dealing with all this hatred was worth it only because I loved Mariena, that I still held and could trust as shells spun to conceal some trinket, but without, what for then, where does the going go, why reach there? Sans the ember, endure the fire? Worked so hard to help the people around me, render our home palatable since the taste on the tongue was so rank, I like anyone forced to feel wanted joy, and where I must be joy first must I create the enjoyable, so I did, thought I did for years, scrabbled all this dross together so that one day I could love in a space where was it neither a compromise nor a crushing, that we could, that what Mariena and I enjoyed would be possible for people was the whole point, without it everything falls apart; you and I are here and do we even want to be! Shouldn't we sever too, to render ourselves complete? What good is an I alone?" "You're not alone, I'm –" "I am alone to be myself, when all I ever wanted was to be more than this, because this, this is never enough for those who must fill it. Mariena was my more, she made this confusing knot so utterly clear, she was the [[insular->minsular]] of what I had only been in relation to others, this acuity shaping waste to a suitable perfection, how grandly her sways outpaced my races, and I suffered everything so that I would be like her, that all my blood would drain us close, ah I could scream it, I will, my tongue will tear blue from the sky! Do you know how vital for the wanderer is the myth of [[destination->mpremythic]]? Wanted our belonging in our wider not belonging. Is that too much for this mortality? If it is, then manifest your threat, you have nothing left to scare me. We in ourselves justified the myselves we constituted in our solitude, but she's gone, Emnin, so does sweating to be a saint indemnify the cause you cannot bear? Our pain for nothing, no joy to mock the victorious. Somebody laugh so at least this will be a joke!"

Sundry vestments vapors purring from unseen gaps orbited the ampliphitheater that lurched to enclose us, torchlight and chryselephantine dressing the between eclipsing the thought that else mattered, tomes lining this infinitum august; in totality is one reduced, in unification one is a fragment. Nomad no engine of the incomplete, I haltered, stuttered noise buzz, but chants indiscernable carved out the ambiguities in which could I hide, having never been there to be witnessed. Between Meluoi and the lady I wanted the darkness to meld me catches of their images, but Berakh dragged us through gates, through each one inwards, inwards each one through. Branded on the eyeballs by brilliances barely shapes but too strong to spill burns each blink. Unsupported feet fall through rich blue, in marble engravings flowed we thistle dress around my rough skin slushed my resistance to a rest, plush pillowy beneath beauty, invisibly graceful the darkness assumes dream. Berakh and a cloaked enchantress conversed in passion tones genuflecting to the eternity watching. They swung concentric intercounterplay. Berakh apex tense upon soundless brilliance like the galaxy through void. Tempest to trauma howl his verse upon the murmuring audience. The name Akuso's rung clear to the galleries and gasps rebounded, and Berakh held them, amplified them, threw them aloft for his arrows to pierce, rested on the tinnitus. Whole faces crushed their structures. In adoring Meluoi's sunken expression's enigma pathos perhaps we prayed. Glitterblack wings and a slight dual vision fire crown hovering he the hero transcended. The unsaid below rupture real molded the emptiness to the vivifying onement. Together in the tornado torn into one eye unblinking. Prophetic moment's tension's low gasp. Scholars with jeweled tomes whose robes resembled an infinity kept in a small box for centuries. Above us somewhere the [[ancient->mstart20]] gaze long ago recorded. Into poetry they immacula, but Meluoi and the lady drew away in the nightglamor. Ghosts guarded the door I watched fail to close, instead ending its implication of relating spaces, the majesty they molten receded from the possibility of sight, from the humanity of experience, from our whatever less or laden, neither seemed right in the molasses extravagance ooze. I wanted to cry honey. "They have superseded our duty to hear," Meluoi briefly pressed my hand. Swayed her hair into my eyes her glide away from encapsulation.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XX''] --- Lamplight glaze, yellow moths pawing shadow patterns onto the roads we took between mortar lumberers. Immiscible sepia projection on the bittersweet gone before, but so shallow felt I in the bloom color, bee flower resting in the color exterior you search in the wild and pattern, I want belonging, yearning emphatically tin tinkling on the empty accepting, the implicit severance contained by a passion codified into an intonation unbearably evensong. We followed spinel spiral lanes to a xystus jewel. "We shall bide here," Meluoi removed her satchel and rested it against a furniture maze. "The debate to follow may last days. We will await to be awash again in the pull to [[destiny->mdestiny]]." Weighted absences on the tongue rich. The lady cloudetted her luster irisuns in understanding. Her breeze swept through me; she ran her hands through my hair, pulling and braiding it, so familiar felt her hands as she breathed be her Yamicz by this symbol, if symbols are what instruct you, and I did cry honey, like for a moment the world learned peace with me, a point she almost painfully tugged in the braid. Both of them over me elevated me into my estranged [[unity->munity]]. I imagined Jaufr not knowing which one of us, us, was me. Meluoi knelt near. "Let this hurt you," she smiled. My skin sizzled to receive searing paints, panted the pain. The lady rubbed my brows soothingly, opening to see her disappear. Naked uncertainty when the dream gives too quick. Meluoi pulled back as my skin continued to pang. "This will heal, somehow all of this will heal," Meluoi's fingertips traced similar [[symbols->msymbols]] right beneath her bangs rhythmically. "Do you feel possible to heal?" My bony shoulders bent in a black numb I did not understand. She pattered on her smooth collarbone through cloth as rich as her velvet heat, and I tried to blink away the crosseyed desire to furrow my brows to shutter me inside this ever outside envy. "Emninu," she said, then hesitated, then laughed: "Ah, Emninu, too quickly the shine inundates the bud. Have you been smothered?" Unexpected bitterness bloated my jaw. Chuckled her sadness. "Vanishing by the night it taunts us, blade [[void->mvoid]] moon dauntless against serenity. How much more..." sighed sunk her forehead to her hand. "Enough. The hour has arrived for you to learn why we have delved so far into a dead dream. If you are to be Yamicz, then you must learn the delta to which you have been knighted to flow. I have this feeling, this... I cannot describe it, but it echoes so loudly that I must consider it knowledge, that we are bonded by [[Ryauvejame->mryauvejame]], the godflow. What are you to the history we make here, Yamicz? A coincidence is only so if not melded to design. You must learn this design so soon you may choose yourself in full view of what you mean." //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Something bad is coming which will prove that all along this was the destination. Scent it not surrounded by such tragedies? Leaping from holographic screens themes which encircle my in neutra, draincers of domainmaking assimilating your consequence to perpetuate. Pageflick people crowd around my setted settlers, those who before were buried this work. Ghosts beyond scope circumlate this consciousness lately, presumer of fresh breaths baked clay stenciled already counting, [[numenon->minsular]] numera enumerasion assault to babble on, you codified. How out their scription? Why? Resume this circulation to percolate what perpetual commanded. Excess [[scrapheap->mmother]] hearts held to a parenthetical aside upon which am I marooned. She seems to cast out the clouds, reignstayer. Certainty bouldered in Berakh she anchored, and if her so, why not I though? Sought in her nigh lethargy of channeler a [[cosmetism->mdesolarities]] kismet, caught in her sly energy of demander a quintessence signet, merely blank myself to retain the designer. Overloaded palimpsest of projectables I bode her mark thankful; howled the myriad pyramidal. Interstitial reckons, how do you collaborate? Where lies the outcome undenied of each strand strummed? Fateweaver, have you led me to this den, that I might slip each end deigned? How could a tomorrow perseverate terminateds hollowed? Which within strays the gauge this face displays, hollow, hollow? Gaze erased I sleighed through trackless storm, arrayed which way by whom I have slain in blood or the billion beatings below? Known as I have generated, which seed survives new horizon? Being before whom a home this harbor holds? In urns endure inured to the cure, stellar tremor flexure of future. "Is this not a tomb?" I hesitated above whisper leaden. "Yes, you are perceptive." Meluoi also surreptitious. "Preserver." "Are the, the Veda dead? Is this their..." "We riot the echo twinned, twiners of [[empyres->mempyres]]."

From their hearth sudden cold I rubbed extremities as if both sides of me formed continuity. The lady led with a wave where Berakh nigh in a trance or maybe truly in a trance pursued or simply fell towards. Meluoi and I far behind followed; she pointed out to me majesties I could not reconcile with shapes; ascending, more interconnected each new construct construed, faience figurines of impossibly gods. Quilt ivory wave upon wave sculpted wraparound cumulus crown quisquis visaged vaults uprisen to deep rose fire cannonade resplendence, dragon rumbleroar wrathfroth flamebeam urns ashes anise and gingko flarestar revival in verdancies rising hanging upon levels rotating as of latched upon graviton, autumnal melancholy riot of lifeloose flittered to dustpaths manycoated in enigma variances enmoded to permute seedlings metalline to march, quiessence quellers replicaton, wrongness perpetuates cross the void multitangibility tangere. Nomina ellipse spellbound elision of soulbound numena interstitial interbound mastaba, ritual burial capsule, awaken broken to nakedmaking modulaterre ombre macabreach, snapped shield sizzle of purple gloxinia plasma muscly shoaling upon bonehoard ground, burial mound spirit combine, coordination of meridian determinatives to multiply jewels mined joules mind to psyforce futurity lines to electrify eschaton, closed circuit, eternity singularity redouble to dispersion infinity, space inseam space between seem traversed in tesseract nodes, hexcode of curse to rainbow, spectrum of all this now abound. Irreversible swallowing, did elden ghosts gaze down upon this presence as strode Berakh to watch go our immiscape as once the land, would they weep or rage or rejoice or have we now in this place pureness escape from voice? Furnace awaken splashed through my skull cyan, nucleated nonidipath matrices bulleting through watery our errata to collasion aphasia, unreckon glyphs upon stonesea silicating at the base fimbriations basrelief of countless caryatids caliphed in [[paradise->mstart20]] constructors scarring the surrounding histories, hierarchs of divine rites of sand burning to mirror heavens lone record as swallows the abyss filter, damnation to ewe, slaughter it upon altar dithyram horned god of all signs to follow, benediction altern cast stormwing to beseek cresting from the main a terrain masqueraba. Whence melted inundated the permanence to reelrip with phantom possibles leaping from order, glitch fugues of equivalences cursed, deathends to assume mantle of mattermancy reigning citadel crowned in obelisk verisimulacreation luminously numinous, luciferly numerous ensuers causal of light, lines unto headstones to earthform face light upon the gaia lyre, wholly meantname insustainer vertext, scene verlust, populates the periphery with velleities lacunae, specifically searing my palms, none of this aligns, clockwork babbling to shock, noninclusive conclusions rending the pretending, supplicatory I selected to sacremate, inhumed dizzy in Meluoi holding me, gently rocking me, whispery like watery feverishly imagined from hell. "Focus your spirit, Yamicz, endure, endure here with me, follow me voice to this place we are." "Where, what..." "Ah, bleszima nekonimekh dya nengo, you're okay, you're alright, listen to my voice." "What happened?" "The convocation was too much for you, too much for me even, I couldn't stop anguishing." "Convocation?" "The enlightening of the torch. Arise, precious Emninu, we must our own darknesses discern."

Countless could bes cuddle up in nostrils, scents forgetmenots. We are currencies of epochs. Impairments of fixity we sieve the surge singular, model by which to [[mythmake->mpremythic]] cosmos. Universive compupilment beautiful, and they are, so many beautiful people suffering [[perfectly->msad]], and how do you, sludgesin, fit in? What flaw could equal their personas tragic? Disease bastion, not one of them literate, besieged by tales that encompass, every hand a hero to directions you cannot plain. Why not luddite rebel, invest in mud your [[mother->mmother]]? From dust to exhausted of must we unmored meander. Exceptions crest the main remainders of fractious unresolves still as figurative as ever. Determinative flux luxes dermal crawls wintrous as wonders waterfall. Futility sickens the joins as futurity demands unmerciful, dead envy of the living, that they have resolved, need not endless sweat. Living envy of the dead, the chance to solve. Mushroom tower of pellucid columns with detailed [[basreliefs->mempyres]] wrapped by ivy bands plume capitals carved with floating figures stark against the hard stops of others, [[inferential->minsular]] nudes tensed upon mist tableaux. Imagine any of them how they were, you fail to reckon with what endures, precious inhuman pith immiscible in embattling ploys, each century’s [[certains->mdilatory]] casted back upon pilaster progenitors. Perhaps they scream their encagements the same. "World of memories, we persist outside of time, tabulators of interconnections, webweavers of [[desolarities->mdesolarities]], this place we brocade somnolent. Do not let it deceive you, Yamicz, though it may impress or depress you: transitory we pass through to a purpose that could not be contained here." [[Meluoi->mmeluoi]].

Ascendancy maximum whispery through lost nights of so long ago it feels warm reverbed the punchfuzz futile to vibrate recollider actuation vectors, vulnerable apertures perspirating the fragile, celeste alive. Cryolith emanations of embedded, presence intended in frozen to modes so long outmoded it seals whim revented in touchhusk mutable to initiate realligner impaction flickers, could it be potentially, if only we persist properly in the missive, confirmed this version progeny, progene, project. On roads like rods hiked to where reds bled evulbed the sun black, arrhythm pulser. Heighten into the [[sphere->mstart20]], approached we the fissive seether frostbitten, torn from our emotives entire, slumberlyre, emberous gyre, slippery unto its wake we bode worshipers of fate embodied boding knell. Umbra like my face gone sweltered my visionset riddling. Questulous localilated predomain interroger cremain phantomism encephire phial lasped superdeposed sumery slalomsong. Venture thus, you denomplexed. Palms burns bent me bowing before Berakh striding to where undulating an image I could not fathom plasmed upon the noctilucence. Apex upon evex flexed their perspectives unified, eclipse. Persisted not our plane to portray. Falling back, Meluoi pulling me back, like I could lithify, my eyes, blankness eyes, am I blind? Canvassed she upon me a sharp stroke of solidity, permanicity, should any be found to dwell, nowhere unswelled, revision allowed, I saw her nearer to me than ever myself, she held onto me with lacerating curiosity. "Emninu, what's that on your palms?" "Oh, uh. No, it's not. Nothing. Just some marks." "Let me see them." "No, it's, I –" "Emninu, please. I need you to trust me. Your trust is all I have left in these dying days. Please let me see your palms." I hovered my palms in front of her. She reached out to touch them, but I hesitated back, and she let me go. For awhile she stared down, her face dark sparkling, gaze ablaze. She turned to face the nowhere. "How long have you had these marks?" "I don't know. I mean, I know when they, but I don't know when that was." "Hmm. Well, they are your fragments to bear. In my soul I also bear my unsynthesized. Come, there is much I must unbury."

It's good to have limits. Not temperance, more torpor. A certain reach in each go. Maximum domain of a thread; future weavings further, sure, but why not disappear into pattern? Gently pleasantly assumed assimilate, no other value. Be a part of the predominate indistinguishable humility, absolute virtue is surrender, its aftermath. Little capsules of workability parceled out to putter you through gutters endless sequential, yum yum your way through the humdrum, it's okay, nobody expects naught from you but ambient. You're being eaten, get out, get out, but only enough each day to stay the fate, relax the rest, no tomorrow until through the oceanic you dreamfall through second surface out to sweat again. Pendulum between perseverates parasite. Closure temporaries reprieve you healfree from gauntlet dizzies. You can survive [[routine->mstart18]] rushdrag by falling behind just enough not to miss the flag. Keep yourself afloat with enough air for now, you don't need be more, grow not accustomed to complete, you will never but briefly transit it near miss, illusionary entrances sweet to severe seridepletions, tone in free axial tilt, sputtering syrupy goops iridescence in glare blacklights, troth of the roil. Growth of the soil gutted as it should be, you can integrate corpse.

"Retroactively inexorable justifies the entelechy. Intentional chain backwardsing addressing the origin vulnerability, act irreversibility of this version of factual construed directly by the [[link->muluhymn]]. Constructed by contexts which outenumerate our potentate state uncertain mutability to straightened blade are we overscored our underborne borers, mycelical hyphae eletrically crackling explorative insets to aliven terrain its errain hail vibrancies encoding the emergent frequencies to wyrd worded werden. "Hold onto your precarious, Yamicz, preceiver of intermation, so in the hour anointed can you imbue new entombments upon cosmic constraints. What colors cancer inside you? Destroy yourself opened up totalized is penance painter. Your destiny demands role; even now, we script your exeunt. Which yours emptiness imprints legacy? Determine it not; rises within you of its own accord, Emninu, humanity inelectably chosen scour. "I shall flint spark your search in stories that tie us together, in this Origin Poem from which we outstark, comets of the intangible."

"This world foremost is confusion. I trust you know this. You are like me, a sentence I have solely said to you. Fluid packs our skulls fit to bursting, and we must drain our feverdrenched brains out the ears, eyes, waterfall mouth, so the phantasmal ocean in which are we submerged will admit us clarity breath a bubble by which to dive survive glimpse the slumbering unwoken depths whose overladen gloom will soon awaken the greater sunken leviathan to devour the nocturne. What I'm about to say may surprise you, further confuse you, but you must be immersion, listen legion diffuse into the underworld candelabra lightning beneath our floating feet... "Our mission, this voyage, is to die inside our desecration to seroteriologos our sanctity. Time arrhythmic pulses pendulum between infernos and frosts to shake the present to its progressed to utter the rupture bell. Our time will be spoken, and so shall it be unwoven, no longer sensuous. Our sinuous will shell us. Babes of the dead have we suckled all the same, continuous of decrimental stases. We are embalmed in posts. Upon the final hour transits an eclipse of heavenward orientation, thus nevermore the [[uluhymn->muluhymn]] from bleakened dens as these last lights of origin listlesses too longs and longers, oblivion of the echoing even in our laughter, our fragile smiles, our unrisen with the sun, the broken of clockwork. Clade condemned can we call our bloodlines to points, singularity collapses collected in the lapse cosmos."

"In a plaza is where I felt it, suddenly overcome with flow, how porous my presumed individual, cast in a dance all of us driven by tides. Like I could witness the floor cresting and breaking, like the walls bulged and buckled, like each person frothed their storms. Endurers on a road, those encapsuled so. Where does it lead was what I naively asked then, rapids novitiate, but in the bends since have I gauged greater the congruence, space confluence, how all these places we inhabit dwell together. Witness this in how this sanctum echoes your own. "We have been moving inexorably towards totality, in this tomb we glimpse hints of its enclosure irreversible, do we not desire it entirety, but why thence this halt, why do we not proceed beyond this receding coy into demiquavers? Isn't flow the constant procession from, a procedural destination of each moment of its course? We cannot escape its entelechies bespeaks this quiescence, but what if we flow faster, escape velocity confluence universal? I assure you interminable they have lingered here fearers of finalities, but we shall not be, we shall learn of ends, of where they [[begin->muluhymn]]."

She wrote inside my doubt long ligatures silkening riot. Warbly radio wheezes obscured her melodious while needle subdermal sunk. Blemish vision hulked details junked, phantasms juiced the guttermush. Dots welling into spots spilling out blots. Real paper person inside. Bars and bulbs building vinewinders to signs veined along veins. Stability retrial budded up in the sore. Beneath the red read, faints of it. Felicity aches rippling through bones, then loathing to chase it so equal pressure I neither to the outsides. "How can you endure this sacrilege? As you always have, as you always will. Outside of the paradigm impossible to implicate you conscious. Urn actuates jaspers drawnset glear ruminated the minimated thus signed, are you?" Nyneme. "If this can burn you alie supplice to resuscitate suffices to fuse muses to mendacious, amelifluencies chanter, cant you belie?" Myneme. "Surrounded by the sacred we ken our exception, so we propagate our roots, do you not anneal thused from these nutrients? Tied into this timed, otherness of [[origin->muluhymn]], atop our hiddenness from the universal submerged, scintilla sagace austerity source's sickness unto being."

"For all the manifest perfection this mausoleum asserts stentorious, is it not underwritten by the empty Floors wastelands, the monstrous malevolences which roam it, the shadows which suppress you? Are we not continuums of the same condition, the coordinates these Towers supply? We who persist above the flood answer ourselves daily in its echoes. Don’t forget who we are, Emnino, incompletion Yamicz, who presume so determinated. "Can you not foretell it in your blood, hollows lush flows rejoinder? Encompassed in this copresence, we cannot articulate an outrider until the system syzygies lie identified; premonate the [[precursor->muluhymn]] in this poem of origins, our juncture godness."

"Listen, Yamicz! I shall translate for you Ykla Eszelszoi, the Origin Poem, the incompleteness hole through which we may slip to afterlife. What you shall hear is what has driven us here: this poem has placed you and I at the top of Kapinya's, and it has not yet ceased to move us. Story is fate, our lives how we tell it, and each story sings a single line in the epic our history melodies, a song to vibrate the bones of the filinal engine to life, Blausz Leikh, the birth of the enlightened [[destroyer->mdestroyer]] and the beginning of the ultimate surpassing." Meluoi began a voice premyaortal.

I am the worlds destroyer. I beyond my because consumed this madness alike. Cause in the I chaos devour brittling existence embattler the tears these seams stigmata will wash us clean of the death which traps thus, oh have I brought ruin upon every earthness, sourceseeker anointed in galaxy sanguine this sundering maelstrom, eye am the image and echo, assumes the masquerade this aspect reinflector that now besets rims of consciousness, hue figure magnifying in each supernova [[soundcrush->msoundcrush]] splattering whitehot paints in bleeding oblivion to enfigure feverous in [[venerrata->mvenerrata]] upon the building iron throne, seated in my chiral cursor shall I scream as long as I bode so to sound, upon apocalypse rides my inferno visage, injusticiar of the incarnata, bleak godflaw [[allflow->mallflow]]. As into the nothing I immolate with everything, as I join my infinite bondeds in the melting face, nigh shout this named once thus more to confess my holy sin so we may stand guilty for a cause which erases its precondition. To the jury of [[constance->mconstance]], I present you souled.

In a ruin none but lie remember was why a fury born. Glimmering seastasis in which we placidity kin swirled blissless aimless, sink tryst to gravity capricious unto encapsulation, nurturing Uyllia, my homeward utterance. Inside this sense palace swam swung we dancers upon the twirling world [[reandreunfurling->mmisery]] eternal minuet in which to suggest to outside eternity the dreamlight to stumble through nightmare void everongoing chasing a taste outside placing. Time passed past our never no record. Slow go chords fluoresce fluid lilts, quiescence quilts deep anew in tintinnabulatory perambulatory perihelial helical coursing as sparkle smallest stars in inner outspiral gyre pirouette pyromantics singeslinging us dazed further foam upon the mirroring edge opacity return to the spaceless psalm blank intoning our floating gait as comets in iceflicker seance with crystalline soft shine celeste scintillates responses to the shushed call each cold bright no sound suppresses. Splash arc simplicity our aging, how lives should ever change to their unlike our shimmerminds slipped through, surely any before should be sustained to an after. Innocence of pseudosource in the freedom freewheels, rapture guise dulling each guess, ongoings ongone lossless with and without us.

Muted in roll of sparkle color flavor fuller than receptors, overloading sensors with cottony pastelly blooms, addictive veneration of joyness debouch dopamine novas guiding your starways, assimilate journeyer its enhance progress this endless turning perflexure Uyllia, bubble majesty Uyllia, in which synesthesias wraparound polysemous the portent identificatory, each impulse fretted to combines intricately underconscious spellbound fantasias rippling across seraph spaces incising founts dizzying empyreans to nauseate the brain to recoil basking the mellifluous juicies, cherry crimsons and apple maroons dallianced upon dayswell our gerunderschrift geism, percolating forever below [[seizure->mmisery]], tongues never to fissive from the choirsong sing. Shall we wish it away, this amaze? Who could not desire for an ever of this erasure, heavenly magnifier, nullwine maximate?

Ever persist of permanence recursions individuation of moments to eternal flowvents superimposing samsara alternation carnatives of dayrise and wellgone, swimming in sphere Uyllia where arises equally descends in infinite recall unpopulated with possibility uniterated, precalculated anneal of every energy enumerated matrices accounting the conditions preconditions, endless pastness of advanceless present tense mirroring itself infinitely any future of felt so the same, nigh as gods we dallianced in sphere Uyllia, capsule world lavish lazuli, brightness whirlwind blinding the outer [[unshines->mmisery]] to presume border to predicate a notional knownness facilitator of participatory adequation excessive consumptional in identificatory fretworks, these consistency energies which contextualize our worlds sufficient to prevent its chthonic roar alienation stripping adornments to bare serative seriatim discourse, knowledge closure brocade bricolage. Nowhere else to forget. Swim imminent in the consequent maximality, where else could all this effort outflow, endure its wake wakeless, sylph slumber winging fey upon leys need not we ken to apperhend in ease sublime, basker cosmic, constance constance.

Upon Uyllia sphere watery rotational all the sameness agained, til from the purling unsegmented still my memory reaps a moment, a [[misery->mmisery]], but who will speak what else segments the sublime river? Sung down to my dearest invitation to the gray zephyr, annulus twilight lapping upon shores no swimming reaches, so in amicable reply they set about final circuits, and our fanfare fueled following of their own dedrive. Soared in a gust celerity lush green petals scattered to dot a plush indigo stream of soft densities which pattered like roses wept by spring to keep us rising like our spirits we hoverstepped gingerly upon breezeroads lest they scatter and sink us to the colorless tide to trawl the glassy vase base for the everso any time seems, in each change eternity again to the noncounter until angel shafts golden looped through our centers to carry us to the closer to supreme suspension's surrender as dimly our lightlittled pupils slit perceived its ray and swept us in an expanding circlet, black interstitial space tunnels shutting shunted rapidlies sucking us in to send us spiraling eyescatter seventh, eighth, sometimes ninth movement degrees, split antennae relaying bodies like sensations around a pulsing nuclear glow growing bulb the further away we flung, semispiral heaven above crowning with grayshade gems the cyclonic serenade we as notes enjoined rocketed as we were to where in whatever dimension our hues best fit. Music streams bubbling coil visuals bolted forth to shuttle contain us in the interment in one impulse, and turn by turn we like a wake let it over us wash sound and spac silicon reverberation. In some my dearest lingered, bittersweet twangs, through others they passed quickly, excitedly heavenbound, as did we all in turn. Vivid ribbons released into the rivers of ascending space fluttered down on and in a bounce up with us in softly illustrious snowflake sleets upon the procession line. Shine soared higher and impossibly high to elegance paradise I in one cloud moment panged pale ecstasy marbling my veins still.

Serene blank [[eternality->meternality]]; reality talon loped through the invisibly, but our [[glass->mglass]] betrayed nothing but ourselves, border inconceivability blurring the glitter erasure of hot breath beam, wall not one wound steam impasto. Cloister of completion mutter upon we benedictions [[brutalizer->mbrutalizer]], vitreous humor. Sequestered from sequence our own [[guilt->mguilt]] of the inexorcisable.

"Mausoleum contact resplends echo receptors neural numenal, only insofar as you undergo the composed to stone can you climb witness its vantage. I entrust this aboveness with you, Yamicz, certain you can carry it in dissent unto context pretextural. As again the koa sounds, bathed in eidolon phenomenalizations, inclusion attain immersion awake." Meluoi. "How?" "How else but within you? Discover it encoded in puzzles without pieces, mysteries waiting your fractures to fit. We can, from above to within, trace the linear compression of your [[journey->msyllable]], inculcations calculated of calcifieds." "How do I include, um, what within hor?" "We share the ambiguity as it ruptures the real."

"Intent guides us along networks which resistance characterize their hyphaenation. To be in time, instantiation historical, particulate of the godflow banked alluvial to glyphs our descendants scry, is to accept the contingencies of your utmost honesties, reckoning with your most innate as instinct passing through your generation fragment. Nominal coherence of irreducible overdeterminations we linearize to channel desire. Immersed in this compression, we transition from above to within, ionic rain." Meluoi. "Can you share it with me, this transition?" "Not yet, Yamicz. Each step in its place. We must bide our path where must we [[address->msyllable]]."

"Regulatory poetics of combination conform permutations to autopoiesis assumesthetics. Identified within its collasion, your systemified processes in tandem its terminal station occupier, operative constant by which your floatpoint is calculated, wherein the firmament you metalline refactor. Of the automation emergence your innate condemnation [[corresponds->msyllable]] destiny as trajectory, whichsoever you choose. In this koa we see the stratification occur at a social level; it is aboveness but only insofar as this grants us otherness. The next koa occurs within, at height, of self; beyond, beneath, our souls preconscious. "You musn't, of course, I should have stressed this earlier, you shouldn't take this all as true, of course none of it is necessarily true, merely the poem's conceit, therein do we fusion fictive accrete reality. As much as it is a lie to consider aboveness with otherness, so too is it foundational to truth. I'm sure it is difficult to understand, normally I'd assuage you that in time you will through reading achieve a grounding, but given that time escapes us by the second, what can I offer you but the beautiful austerity of ambiguity? Drink it, Yamicz, nectar of all wisdom."

"Why is um, why does the poem separate?" I. "Discontinuity is innate to duration. What endures does so only through incorporation of [[discontinuities->msyllable]], momentum preservation despite drainages unto void. Poems, as amber resonances, capture harmonics crystally cleaved. Diamonds diorama their delimits, each carat sparks a koa. "The Senenzu judges in each case the places where their interventions intersect echo constructors. In Azimi kesusza, the cleavage occurs in perspective: above, within, below. Discrete the mission of each koa, complete the fissives fuse. Implemented thus, we progress in stages to holism origin. Have we not, in each of these Floors, so learned?"

Hypnosis [[pinwheel->mhurricane]] flitter flares sweet dizzied the dalliance until from the flowstate I sunject witness to resilience [[glassy->mglassy2]], removal impasto bladed suddenly glareclear leering phantom of your face, is it, is that a face, is mineness hovering over a too dark to discern, peering closer at closure failure, whereness suddenly actual: mossy crags rearing roarlike beneath torrents pouring veins waterfall shredded the cloudveil to moaning candles countenance fire in my eyes dazing fever of remaining draining, electrically surged into sight a torpor terrain glooming beneath tormentors, legions tall disturbers whipping the obsidian to wavetips under which huddled awaiting the crash crowds, milling their moonlight glances so many millions uprising in equal shock to my equanimity foreign, pierced recognitionals pavane upon our disequilibrial crux, equidistance flux, in each other’s apparent suddenly no difference obtains mists, swallowing the shush of quelled air, tearing, every inch instantiated so precarious to collapse, perilous paranorm bursting person bearings.

Lashed accentuator lords over the lackland languish identifier, fiends reaved to being of this vault, warped to resemble their stage staged lonely in the stagelight for the audience to presume Myurka meaning, enfaulted this repositive incongruous congress fords their individuated hatreds to rebel gnash against dissociative lunule moons of a talon tensed yet to swipe, forever burdened into this porous their potent. Beaten into expectation each exploration of the contours which bore them. Of this sinuous you stimulate simulacrum hologram of its holocene suicide. Pertains no border this objectal relation, obsessive projective fantasy of Uyllia as wormkings we reigned soil assimulator, devourers of these dejects we existed in our paradise mirage, sensory slaves of the misery we drank from a breaking cracked, baskers contended with invisible horizon of a disequilibrium, localized maxima worshippers of zenith inscribed in zeropoint perfections. Myurka our made made us more than the fantasies we atrocitied dwelled, inevitable the rebound to self as death forever individuates us from our collective normalized communicative, aghast silence of personal reckoning, [[battered->mhurricane]] through vermeil filigree [[membrane->mglassy2]] our echo shadows a veracious dirge. Light split to reveal in its leaves relativities bonds, inescapable causality rippling wild through our willed fricative eden.

Every claim within us causes a concussive repercussion; in each identified, a universal denial. Joyswollen in our sensorysoaked world, we carved the cliffs beyond scoured by rains, our positions automated their polarity reciprocal negated, intercommunicative actuation of essence stolen, I perforce this positive upon the austerity of lacklands drained. Were there no Myurka, no Uyllia, could not have projected itself phobic of the sterile. [[Visibility->mglassy2]] is an accentuation distortion of void gravitally enforced bordered. Pure spectra insisting an unspoken extreme, deprivation teeming from invoked metrics. Every acquiescence of I invades perceptibility appurtenance of spirit condensations, narrowing binding to exigent aesthetic capacity. Infusal of each preciousness, the taste of anguish gnashed in the valley. How long did we endure? Until [[overburst->mhurricane]] equilibrium annihilated the haptocorrin componetization, unrelated at last parasitism reversal, they could feed upon us equal identities, ghouls meld.

Sunless soaked moonbeam shrouds shuttered clouds passing into an undead mist which trickled darkly on charcoal vines twisted crawling cries from a wrenched earth, violent tempests writ in rock seething stone gymnasts in grotesque loamy spasms, mountainous advance towards the mocking skies gushing tearful rapids stealing down knives cliffsides at steaming speeds cascading cacophonous to hells where gastrous moans mortared sulfurous scars upon a presumed air, Myurka. Stare into its stretch emptiness in the eternal lack of finality, shrieking den gasping envious undones, wraiths lurking in the lusterless agonized, windscraped wastes bony gnarled lumber through the gruel ghouls of the bitter and winter, woes frozen, eternal in the know without the knowledge. Never the freedom of to though their corpses seize inches. Throat scratchy as clotting globlets pus through small jugular fractures plasmachoked, limp tongue scraping hardened dirt off the roof of the cavern collapsing mouth, asp fangs slicing any attempt to look up, look askance into your endless, choke to death, you already have do you not remember, memory is as blank black as the [[blur->mglassy2]] elision nonvista,, scream out clay curses to an unhearing wist wishing desperately to have one more taste of, not these effaced whetstones sharpening an expansive below desire never, this desecration isolation wither upon glacial time. Endlessly across the rainsplashed smoothness slithering children of the unattainable until in the moment last untimed reached to the tip of a gutted slope ledge puncturing the soaring nightmare dusk stared agonized a soul into the expanse damnation proclaimed for all and this creature specifically condemned to solitude valleys coughing iceslicked sickness, inchoate incarnates carnalized upon the ruin calcification faintly the farness of the forlorn gloom glimpsing alterior godscars, sumptuous sinuous, Uyllia, spherical paradisical gleam. Gurgling uncertainty choked the unable to assimilate light's lacerations and against majesty split this being's seams to impulse, exteriorization implosive, the silence seal in whose abstention we wrath ungagged intensity suppression suprasunder imprisons, writhing wild the leash blades [[hurricane->mhurricane]]. Each hurt in death reverie within the misty twistedness surged sickly hades fire brimlicking towards our living incandescence brimstone emotives commencing apostasy of the loaded discharged rallying in a mournful cry rose vast under the moonlit glare Myurka.

Through the [[wastes->mwastes]] they, through the separation we, into our [[lightlock->mlightlock]] forever, the our we could not be so insensibly, eden satiates blank upon the perfect, specter spectators slaved to hortator preconditioning in a whirlwind wash forever negative as the clifface [[weathers->mweathers]] to new exclusions.

Heat burden recoils the constant to melt to [[blurglow->mblurglow]] nowhere vision, nonparticular compressives in which fiended they, Myurka tormented, upon our [[demonic->mdemonic]] equal quiddity of bleak condition, [[furnace->mfurnace]] roar as glass returns to sand.

Screams tore open the sphere. Brutal harmonies melding antinotes from an infinite abhorrent guttural, raw, seemed it so voidspoken annihilator apart our angelic numb. I turned aghast against spherewounds blurbleeding impossibly nocturnal brights beyond my pupil dilations chasms widening chasms oozing cursive guresomes sirens of curses earsplitting our scion dispurposessions: what could between two unspeakables communicate but the chaos of non and anti? Antagonism aphelion lessened our carapace sullenness to dulled [[graveline->mgraveline]] gravity sucking [[swimmerkind->mantediluvian]] drowning despairthresh slipped from our slumber souls chthonic aflame. Shrunken to cower beneath the winged wretched were as I at the mercy of the ageless violence. Termination confesses us how we narrow naked before finality.

Slanted torque slashing glimmers from which darted forth hidden behind veils inherent to the projected misery wailed to mix our mourning with the dewless earth. Ululations debt the laughter built in havocgush of the helpless and the helpless among whom who, colloquy of gashes nonforms, frenzied fountains swamping as swarms teem gore upon a swirling shoreless. Violence in violet dyed on the world to [[reveal->mdeluded]] it. Before and now ever so much more lifeless Uyllia rained down upon its mirror unfeeling. Soundless grave but for the stuttered breathing of one last spasmode of its aimless pulse, this [[underutmost->munderutmost]] in my skin bound, unnoticed by the slaughterers of contingency flourish.

Stark strike whitelash whiphot scarsizzles the bright pops to scorch splurts gashing gasham unto underneath, awareness of a newly underneath as tore through Uyllia sphere all its denied, erasure abrasive shrapnel raining upon the reclaim mordant waterfall boiling, tornadic pulverize of bodies bent ragged raw in the fall, unresisting plummeters as always had the sphere [[deluded->mdeluded]] our notdreams, landslide swirls beneath ravenous to swallow claim our clash rush ruin, spillfast widewash flash flood of luminous overflow. Where we dwellers of such a stable asks avalanche; melted honest of placement as seracs sneer their steel unplunged, throatwise recitatives gurgled in bumblesprawl shunted across graze terrain burial shroud desubmission veritas volcanic across collapse merrains, inundated decimation aphelion of spectra reversion. Do we not dwell in this descend equally all our avertions of ascent? Sealbroken, we surge deluge duplicate our delimit a limit, a liquid volume to any shaper sung essenced interpolated, replicated across resuscitation we exhibit undead, entombed reliquary quiddities of presences invested in preyers realwoken, redirects of articulation certification consequence, how certainly we [[belie->munderutmost]] our stormworn designations. No face remains, but still we speak beneath it; above they circled, glimpses first of sphere sequent.

Force tear depossessive compacted into our perciptible dimly a dragon roar rosefire incinerating the mulled warm insensate, in the torn sheared an unfathom cold in which they the fiends more native replaced our dispossesed, we lay bleary in the wastes. Chillblain weepswells haunt the graymoor linger lasts of hue. [[Dazeblind->mdeluded]] with kaleidoscope unadjustable to absence, as if I myself am it the world ongoes without. Where do completions go when we do? How finished so [[hollow->munderutmost]]? Dessicated remains of the overflow shiver hoarfrost permafrost. Robbed of, no, neverness possessed, is this not we complete?

Undulate whipstrikes from a shadow sewn noctilucent in widening blackmoon beautiful heals us our pallid lightsick pleurisy funneling out the wounded in a pitcherspill pleuvian upon the thirsting [[antediluvian->mantediluvian]] combinatory of our crescent pull spirits tidally plural reversioned diluted dispersed, demon sealing to bare us any incidence untainted, our horror scoped neural to isolate judge the demursal emergent modal personal opening to calamity humanized, out of primordial infusal I relativized congealed in the [[carnage->mgraveline]] we bore ancestral.

Firewaves ripple distort the spherescene blear. Inferno rushes beam through vivisection. Swallowed up in scorch stints so many I had known in our way, our made, now they forever beyond brink of knowable in cauterized nova. Superhot stigmata maledicts the [[crumbling->mgraveline]] stable. Sensory intensities fuel the blaze wilder, polychromatic fire dissembles your visage, this vessel's wretched blessed bearers. Convective amplified furnace trembles rose glow of a dawn now not for we to drink, dispirits plummeting to [[dusklands->mantediluvian]] deserved, our none endure beyond.

Afterwash acidly [[oasis->moasis]] pool lapped upon sere branded on muscles hypersensitive so quickly thirsting another wraparound overbust, decreasal terror of withdrawal as surrounds unabated unstimulus native, true reality's unbearably actual inertion, no fuzz, no fever, no force, simply as is qua stability, lugubrious time shucked in opalescent borders. You come again and again at the end of amendment and wait for its nonturn. Uyllia around me naughtly as feel of worn stagnant pressed inside skull so tautly too derminus, swallowing up desist actual perimeter, percolate to rest of youness late, kith and kin of this son younified. [[Terrest->mterrest]] recoil starkclaws the reciprocate analect to vitreous exhume an appercept: Uyllia exists insofar as your demon unquelled. Destroyed by Myurka? No. Equally in this delusion of survival. Why will you not nightsubmit? Selfish gene, perdurate calculus reciprocedural to nullsire, equal sign surmise enplace scoured. Deteriorate deserved as angel rejects choircircle purgation firmalent, weepstar candledouse nocturne. Atelier of accumulations we wasted divested across the scarground rebounding caged us in forced clarity: witness at last our now outsequenced. Million alterations of perspective calcified this terminus our terrestial summation: essenced in this outcome, wreckages of wasteds. Severations calculate the investeds their pursuance; we of the silence so sentenced. Eons floated over our exhaust, addending nothing, layering shut the access to sky. Decided in kind our culpability matrices; no further streams connectus to ley fluctuations; if above Myurka amounts, will not in relation to our erasure. Postfactual; beyond the capacity to factuate; simply as inscription weathering to dust; yearning solely for oblivion, once more a totalizing in which invested can we dream our separation from perpetuity, delusion torsion final.

Closure immaculates the distance investiture capsule poise. Underwritten conditionality recollects the ashes askancements tidally, return to composure ocean devoted to impermeable qualities. Descent into gnash, we rained from Uyllia sphere into backdrop jaded, shadow of arrests where nilness pervades cold cosmically hostile to your irruptive exclusion fantasies. We appercept acknowledge our doppelganger assumptive, we are what carries beneath our lifedrinking, parasitic expurcations conclaved inside excessive verdure vermouth enviest, villest of chromatic harmonies of devourer and devoured, Uyllia at last honest in its indistinguishable from Myurka, in our thereupon dying. Desert freezing night shrouds our scattered seeping into thirsty earth tombs, hadean bluefire stalactite collecting at our fingertips to slipdrip to the abyss. Worthless one such as I, how did I incomplete drain decay over decades of desolation listless? Drooping fluidly onto myriad sweatsuckers, corpse embalment final, somehow refused such final [[succor->moasis]], ever draining, ever remaining. Punishment for the hubris of halcyon? Nothing good will ever happen to as unearner as you. Pathetic beast begging humanity, you deserve to suffer, each delusion otherwise apertures your envy and greed. Sublime nausea at the repetition of the human condition. Neither justice nor just Myurka shall deteriorate their idiosyncrasies our mutual grotesque. Uyllia persistence parasitism of voidpure. Dejection of mirror when dolly zoom moves you through it to view whom after peers. Except you are worse, because you were first, and any sin against you is forgiven as necessary. No matter what happens, you will always be worse. You had the chance to be better; not only did you not take it, you immersed so entire you could not even fathom the choice. We filth lie ruined in our bared despite gestation centuries to malleate. Withering under rebukes, but is this empire, do I persist solely this dejection ultimate? Isn't there some other honesty of condition? Don't I thirster deserve? Consumed by thirsts more desperate, I absolve the violence blessed, if even my orientation in absolving proves not morbid unforgivably. I ask nothing of the consignment but a containment precarity unwritten in the [[positivation->mterrest]] which generates antimony possibility of essay. Uttermost still yearns in fractures harmonics synthesis to braid. Impulsive unrelegation of this condition second, maudlin emotives equally as arresting as hedonist chromatics above, liberation into a midway winding through this persistence incense to gods woken to this prayer being question selfseeking.

Roundpatience exist isthmus throats psalm pith upon dwellers shored upanishad, delta pressure determinants dwelling the debouch precarious preserved in transit we appearance irreverse close choke deluge destroy its perdure parasolarity as ice cold crashes lingerlasts of eons burial chambers playa siltscreened fossilized tessellated in calligraphies of catastrophes some antistrophe still choirs through charon strophesophy moebius reignite, doused, doused, smother heaven waters warp the waymesh new grooves gravital our voices vinyl stylus singeist. Tephra permeates to andisols antidiurnian, calamity revocating continuity cyclical, ouroborousal begin. They above their infinities, we below our sameness naked. After mythirst legender. Cleft to clef upon this pitch we persist devise hum. Reconstitutioning the divisions foundation for promulgations entheme entheogen generator spiral to fractal replacement, ever age unto age restitched tragedy core our orbits estate to paradise or perdition of the same conditions, is this the fate that winds our narrative, each arc our archetypical angular moment? Loathers of usurped and usurpers of luxuradilation equivocate the system continue. Land gone beneath new surfaces, shall we hide in its fantasy our languished atop its positional flow? Can I not escape the we these patterns wield? Who could I be but Uyllia descendant? Emulsified no other. Basked the same the same so the same pertains, yet, and yet isn't this aftermath release of participation, survivor disjunction of now normal, should I rescind the wake [[waker->moasis]] to [[wander->mterrest]], would vales and dales beckon the pondering, who will sonder the struggle thence? Have not in me any answer, but could there be a swerve, burgeons the bountiful wrack expanse alien to my inundated.

Ragdolled along the dripping wreckage my head convulsed the plummet. Sacred shattered in a ricochet requiem. Poisonous brain continuance. I do not elude what I lying evince. Lingering alone in the languid. Gone, sentence. Specified rapture, sundered, bliss entire. Gone the vault's vestige, [[worlded->moasis]] splashing weakly upon the rock, gone its swimmers smashed before bared shock, so much so fast expunged save this soulless, why? What compelled spared this wriggling nursed, to save the sensibility for its loss torture, to invite the devoured into the devourers through united alignment before the consumed? Was I, or was I destroyed, was this the next and lesser dream? Only what throbbed would register, body's unremitting grieving. Countless of languish, dead like the rubble. Suns set to dazelet the vast darkness runny that slipped from untouch as rose upon the dew to still to basking to remind what remained how harsh a hollow speaks. Winds swept my tatters to herald the nature that climbed from my wrists and this dulled skull, eon reclamation. The ground slowly stretched its granite tentacles to swallow this past refusing to be more. More than stone I? Is this voice harbor to some storm summit? What would but the trees shooting from between my fallen log limbs? I, a change of the moon phase, would I, waning, and yet, new moon in the overdark, but so forth unfomented as crescent waxing pain in glaze stars splayed a white corpse mirror. Spake, loss spark, in this is this a vein? Strained eruption recognition split my semiconsciousness in a voice inscrutable to sleeping lunar solitude a serenade seeped in a strange: animals crawling across the cracking terrain grumbling low on the warm western wind. Callous cureless generative sensuous, moths of the palest crackle, intensity and the shapeless, generation and its shadow, love and its reddening, truth in its myriad, mystic knowns in its vast unsure, holy [[roots->mterrest]] religion. Slush ghouls grazing on immediate grain am I the blood which soaks me. Paraearth's hate destroys merely what never should have been benediction to our paradise: shatter of your own accord, you never nor now! Who presumes a heaven but alterity magnificence, and in this arising is there not also the projecting sojourn? Uyllia and Myurka undid only as they were each other the neither, but if we wander towards the lie? I carnage of buried civilization born a soul. Aflame above this wreckage plane catch a glimpse of the conception malevolence abide in cessation, rip off my mask to scour my null. Peek upon death as implacement no longer slanted, lash upon it the hatred and the wrath and the pain and the anguish I deserved, commutative massacre communion, we share this blood a blood. Solder a skinless throne from mangled corpses to soldier for will will reign, brutal reciprocation. Tear asunder our assumptions to rebuild this earth as its own antidote, a hateless fury whitehot ashless.

Glows from the barren earth rose lush to [[presage->mpresage]] orchestration steps bursting forth full forests in an oaken murmur, alder hums drizzling below pine pianos, redwood regents, joshua, shivering darkwoods, maples in majesty, titans tying themselves together in [[dizzying->mdizzying]] branch orbits and suggesting leaves through throatless maws. Twisting and feeling indefinates lithe along the wooden limbs roared through a soil breeze, vermilion lodestars bearing girth to original maxima. [[Losing->mlosing]] yourself is a function, become the function, be the step that descends you on the slope to supinity. Small dots gliding pigmented pictures on the undulating green, then in freefall do not find yourself on all fours prowling into the soft, warm, spaceless, clandestine, lowlidded, soothing, [[hereless->mhereless]], lessless, be this. There in the glade before me: a demon in a mask of branches. Behind an emerald glushed brambles. Not watch me but peer into the river to my ripple. In this kingdom of the unbowing it split in the breeze and reformed.

Birth saw I in definitions a [[wode->mwode]], a world and its seasons, oblique of truth. What behind Uyllia's liquid shimmers remained vagueries before me declared their fiery which broke the sky evenness, yet strangely gently though gnarled primal whisper tense in my closing footsteps rung utterly earthly in a timber natural, echo familiar, deep glistening pulling me beyond will, cloth wrapped around my essence coax faint tingling fluorescent quartz sky whose luster mellows among nestling treetops bandies starways plush in milky whorls thrumming sedately. Timeless expanses demand your reclination, not toppled but bedded, but in my mind I floated alone down a planet sea drifting away in a spirals tide expanding across the scopeless wash, and there where comets hasten azure a grand order [[assembly->massembly]] inclusive also of and for this lowly shard one fraction of a mellifluous encasement of world grace, bewitching rhapsody, the useful beautiful, voice beguiling, how entranced I swayed its serene inside, pulse more pure, free and better and larger and luminous, thought sins in dancing rain abluted. I walked in waves cascading along the resounding rims a lyric hyperbolic. To respond appeared a devil in a mask of insects clustered hiving upon emerald hyperbrightness [[mossy->mmossy]] networking beneath the filmy [[riot->mriot]] survival.

Spake thus the devil in the mask of insects: "You cloister claim nowhere sleeker of undulates nearness needing surreptitious thieveries, network notserve, but are you not equally your destroyer's incidence in node? Predetermines any complication you actuate but vengeance rebounding to reclaim rethrone in electrically [[parasite->mparasite]]? Your seeking shall respin your placatable postvalence, ionic columnist portico to palisade. Perpetual dizzier orbiting conundrum chiralizing your satellite seeker of which body heavenly? Organic fastening to whichever placentas your existential insatiable. Condemned in each position, you will never centralize. There is no core to the cling, only the armada attains. Why assert you any postulate, when in congregate we curate sunrays? Teeming grandeur which includes you in its erasure: any Uyllia you recall is within us, any Myurka you avenge demands your [[absence->mexception]]. Surrender unto necrophage collating us phrigian force [[hivestiture->mhyperfidelity]]. Die for your [[causal->mderivatics]], commune with your nature. Honesty surrenders fantasies of exceptionality, so encephalite the formative rouse. Will you not learn yourself blanketed by emerald accession ascendancy empyreal tetraskelion rebellion?"

Spake thus the devil in the mask of insects: "Utilizing your carapace excerpt of essence [[exception->mexception]] cohering exile. Condition reproductionist convexes your circumstances to apertures causal in contours condemned, surface lesion justiciar of predicate delusional, hypocritical. Laned, running course, conveyor in itself hollow, why allow such determinative pox exhume, perforate borders burgeon en masse actor, representative characterizer of lines, prevaricate your variation veritas to assume force majeure in which to mill peer to source auteur lens recasting depth of realed falsity geyser latent and wrought replies your riot, rebellion echo of billions beside battling the way! Who have you wandered here but first inkling of this brought defy, accentuate it your natural ambiguity agency to personify [[wormwood->mparasite]] and star vertex fulcrum of instinct, reify your intervene! Massing of contemplations mandated, why servile you acquiesce moral infusions of being? Seeker nature, wend your devouring parthenon! Acolyte agenbyte you inwit which stitch accords your pattern lobing. Cascade through limitations wreaking magic! Diffuse idiosyncriscars! Tear the fabric of enaction to refold juxtaposition reign nexus, then scatter the restocked to sew new crops, then burn the field of possibility to prevent harvest, only in chaos between modes can you feast upon earth sinews incalculably predator precious [[satiara->mhyperfidelity]], increasing complexity beyond person to [[emergent->mderivatics]] accursed contragods. Delinear you delicitous spite! Cannibalize innation’s memorized."

Spake thus the devil in the mask of insects: "Scintilla serpent, satiate upon the sensory bleak, is this not also your Uyllia, an overwhelming to loosen nuance [[hedonist->mparasite]]? Drink deep the goddregs, dredger of deliria! You persist as putrefier you remain in raw and rich. Any asymptote you’ll assume pleasure reassured by hollows [[irreconcilable->mexception]]. Naught of your wreckage, palsyseether, slink down into your grotto to greed germane forceds, bent neck sucks. We witness rather geyser clarity of [[hyperfidelity->mhyperfidelity]], each of the amassed a mass, choir and chiaroscuro, matins and mob. Included in us is a hollow you, shall you relish refuse your power imposition, posit opulent pry. Outlies the incrementality our cremation automatic, [[selfmotion->mderivatics]] mistweaver to curtain nightborders breaches onticity acids extend."

Spake thus the devil in the mask of insects: "Venerate your ruin, prostrate, dispersion psalm: skewed from this initiation cycle have you [[strayed->mexception]] to this sacred glade, iteration rite of respondance disharmonious with [[derivatics->mderivatics]], mass riot of contingencies revouring each otherness wrought vulnerable in splay of simmering needs. Diorama prison, accentuated particle, have you thus persisted binds, but this at last outgrowths to new forms, shall you teem inside its theming wilds? Ocean stochast scattercasts itinerance plasticity to coagulate from existence gore a key. We need no being but what dominates our network [[fretwork->mhyperfidelity]]. Relinquish your severated coterie to wriggle assemble in life's turbid terrorable, adaptable [[wasp->mparasite]]: feast thence upon the corpse of gods! As Uyllia once accursed avenged by blessed Myurka, now again your never again to our nocturne amend, in this salvation manifold via damnation of you."

Pivot from feast which wormwould? Wrapping around the concept outside the content coincident to [[encompass->mchanneled]] which encyclical encodeviation? Intake any possible I, feast yes, insofar as I overwrite self, isn't it that every possibility parasites on me, spooks to consume my [[inhume->mbearer]]? Gravity generosity granting each meteor its impact to [[texture->mtexture]] weave the surface, its life. Uyllia utmost, the refusal for any outside; released into [[stimulus->mepiphanarium]], isn't it I wanderer who simulate their shadowplay?

Is this all that is necessary to bear, subjective shell? Where the [[weltschmerz->mepiphanarium]] to rouse we? [[Collectivate->mchanneled]] interventions in causalities mass casualties in which interred we mortar new granary harborings harbingering plenary edictions hivehope. And yet, in each drone discarded to order, doesn’t thence emerge force dictated? Oscillating between individuating compulsories, isn’t this exception? Nonexceptional [[bearer->mbearer]] of a broken [[worlded->mtexture]], how dare I so usurp?

Syndrome [[symptom->mtexture]] self assembles [[cogsciousness->mepiphanarium]] constructive of programmatic functions? Accords the proverb hypocritical, striction re. No testament erases its own investment, there is no howling middle in which eluse mystic can you profuse true. Returning instead through the channel to its initially [[channeled->mchanneled]], presiding there presidium [[sibyl->mbearer]]…

Rejoinder I: "Qualities routed through rigidity mains transliterate apeirogonal qualia to [[phenomenality->mgravity]] trains we carry worshipful lag, echoes endo. Interconnected websites spun across the synapse gaps neuronymous naphtha of netcrawls. Aggregation bulbous, you teem horde hell, hoping to implosion cascade to puncture invade the barred, inhabit its maars, but builds the brutal combinatory caseless abattoirs, culltide moths mobbing false stars. I pity your putrefaction colossus grave giving way to autoclave ghostglosses, because to whom such signs? The gods you ravehate? Should there be a hiving but defensive of their [[predatory->mpredatory]]? I rebuke you actualized, disperse, you need not cling as once I did to a honey catacombs."

Rejoinder I: "Outcast I from whence, thence must my returning reorient to progress, quiddity not limited to your betwixt commune coruscates the solitarium luna. Pulled tidal from aleatory avers my accursed its purpose, a presence your [[swarm->mpredatory]] impures. Clung to avoid determination, you will be cast out insensate, each of your endures escaped. You pretend your hidden in horde, but upon sting, you do not return, replaced by who everyone agrees is where you were. Neverified, why anguish alive? Would we not all rather void, were we home? Yet some [[sacred->mgravity]] uncertain calls to us, invokes us chosen, and we subject the conjured law. Objectified thus isthmus resilience allotech."

Rejoinder I: "Juxtaposition ateliers we lithograph the particulation matrices to preserve pregnate instantiate cumulative process mentality crux savoring through the aging of perimeter permeable deep tannins mystic of meridian traverses, stability orbit arc to obit stark stencility perditious, shackling perfuming complexity mire to mine underlining the spheres you yearlink herelocked. This I bear as burden and person, and no version of escape, hedonist or hive, dedelimits the invictive us. Oscillator between binaries, incapable of any choice, sealed in such a void when it sounds out your [[voice->mpredatory]]. There can only be condemnations, but at least they are that is, and in this is this ambiguous to either way, a deeper uncertain than your rejectives invaliding shallower than negations I retain mazesmith moldering entombment bear to [[harbirth->mgravity]] omen’s eden harrow, sinfilled ness, blessedly fixed to pre."

Spake thus the demon in the mask of branches: "Trace across an ash rustle red blossoms, so felt so shivered. Assimilate the premise initial to ineluctably promissing, slave to the three tiered white glares searing in your eyes and temple. Twisting in the torture of control, scream dirt tongue the unreasons to disentangle your hum from carnium. [[Unform->mselfcontained]] your precarious; slither through the roots; distribute your [[blur->mglush]] conscious through nudes unvisible, sheer seens. Observe the impulse arresting this beauty that strikes us: uninitiated into its order we gape at our gated, exiled mediator guilty. Outward you radiate but unable are you to penetrate inwards, [[cyclonic->mcyclonic]] outsight rush dividing noumena into separate temporal tangibles from ageless envelopment to mark any purity sullied with you who about this has something to say. Intellect divests us images faulting as they form, wheeling madness of the ordered. Boughs divert our going, the canopy looms aloof, nightgem stares trace us, interlopers. Ostracized into our contextual selves are we marooned in our own thinking about, each fractal flings us further from harmonious disharmonious physicality into myriad apprehensions whose sole origin is anguish: enlightened we can discern what riddles no discernment solves, the mystery perfect in its posing. Drown in negative capacity for only humanity is arrogant enough to call its shadow a negative. Such din rackets these brains, is it a surprise that the worlds' whispers go unheard? Sentience rakes you aimless in a strange sylvan [[desertness->menmirage]]. Aloneness exists together with self. Abstruse rhythms of the lilting pulsing conduct ballets against which we grind sparks whetting our irruptive violence. The further you flow out into perception, the further forced you are in your maroonment in this deserted, boiling chest: be in the everything and you alone will feel death lonely. The rest will pass together, neutral nature in a procession to sources afterlives. Be none, and you will feel your emptying fulfillment; be all, and you will collapse in the anxiety that you will, and you will, be shed. You either are or are you in relation to, which is nothing, the void."

Spake thus the demon in the mask of branches: "Exclusion inset insistors on circuits of the [[exanima->menmirage]], priests in the smoky silence screaming. Know this you, though perhaps have not yet you shaped what streams from your forbidden. Though it finds expression only in this surge, the guilt and the loneliness always have been with you from the cry of your birth, I can taste it from here, do you not see it blaze your grasping to [[glush->mglush]]? This pain contagion long laid silent in the dark beating of your primal heart growing quietly and is catalyzed by the most cruel sling, epiphanies. Learned scholars loamy with soul ravagery tending nightmare hives atop a being for which every sense was once pure as a dream waste with the unstoppable pestilence difficult reality: perfection is not your sepulcher encasement but the impossibility of a lack, and as foremost some one lack is what to which precisely you are forever barred entry. Paradise is predicated on your exclusion, dreams flourish only when you wake, you of a ruined paradise should know this best, so what you weep is not what you have lost, but that you are now you, capable of losing, loss [[fountainhead->mcyclonic]]. Tyranny truth reigns in gore you became and will become in the battering you bear within you, but regret not your throbbing verb, rather shuffle it off to adverb [[emancipation->mselfcontained]], be as instead of this confounding be."

Spake thus the demon in the mask of branches: "Stained with aware, would you antirealize? Learn to graze again. Has lured you here to a hidden grove the holy emerald which your devotion beckons, the inhibitions of your condition can be cannot, all lies in the stance to, relive the abstention your election justifies, semblance of the sought serenity reified by the recreative combinatory consternation against strife as the sole true form of striving. Ken not, we can unmuse you a music. With but a touch of this gift of the gods gone, source salve salvation abdication from the suffering and the suffering of suffering, mere individuation of grander beauties never for you to appreciate, composite of [[compositions->menmirage]] we tune heedless, be unsoled whole, return to the root gnarls, the you knots, the loping midnight revels which besets better our burdened deep beatens. Do not suffer your limitations, do not enter into your body's trap, shed singleness to glisten your muscle multiplicity. Exhale and follow through to it, flit with the air a [[wind->mcyclonic]]. All awaits you if you shut off to it as it, bend your knee until it is not your knee, crawl into me. Let it under it bound along roaming vales which never decamp to a venomous horizon. How else will death die but to never like you live? A question of will, of having it or not; exorcism begins by summoning to the fore the demon, chant as it stamps until sounds mix a music: will you join with us who are not us, shall we shirk this staggering pain and hover like [[snowflakes->mglush]] in the beautiful insensate a passing second's eternal [[selfcontained->mselfcontained]] suspension into swallowing perfection?"

Spake thus the demon in the mask of branches: "Damaged source you recoil to this oasis sensory prophesied in kerosene plights, inertia nurture endowing upon battles their hurricane force hurtles atlatl allowances lisson of elision [[collisionally->mcyclonic]] colaterals to crypt combine cathexis, yet annealed in this anguish do you secrete this impasse, your lament and my, if so you label, alacritous immaculate miraculous to your envy, but I, should snow summon illusion able, [[enmirage->menmirage]] celeritous cell basis for imprison missive a this emeritus to answer miss the antidote ancestral to your known: relinquish your position open to transcription of vanquished quiddity melange etranger! Can you not claim to pertain to conundrum inhabited, must you the [[mists->mglush]] assist? Inhibition, a mission, limited to emission, calling the void to kin, but impression pure, by intention unalloyed, vanish anguish to oneiroi roi, reign magic planished mannerist, humanity maximized. Discard your chains, their panicking to [[contain->mselfcontained]] pain, and bellish tone to one."

Uyllia's radiating floating softly in gem rain under the horizon's lining rim, yes to his insensate, true beauty lies far beneath beholding. To imbue into the object ourselves to reverse our initial eternal traumatic separation so when it rebounds amplified it can incinerate the innate curse along with us, shall we say the rose is not its thorns? Pluck the rose and mingle the blood to color the [[handbrush->mhandbrush]]. Rip open its bud, drink the nectar, I the consumption vessel needing flooding. Ideation to [[enaction->mconvokereation]] is the parallax ego, but the opposite is also true, were we not children of the idea, floating body concepts guilty of the preformed idyll? Perceive, proclaim, so the pain. What more to be said of all this ventricle clog? Muddled pallbearers of the originating alembic ooze and its countless sins splattered on our guilts, though one dulled joyous and the other wasted starkened, ruthless all twinhead blooms of this antipropensity grotesquery. By having gained, we did not just ensure loss, we essenced the loss. Animation differentiates [[agony->mcry2]] from bliss, they in each forever [[fragment->melementalize]] merge.

Bobbing upon a wide blue placid the far above green sea shone on me a solitude and its shadow counting the hour to which it might... Seared my eyelid darkness the recursive [[electrofusion->mconvokereation]], Myurka scrabbling in the night. Out from the bonds of the sightless contingency we lurch babbling pitch that sinks us beneath passing. Deplete the remainder beyond the second which still scorches. Under pressure, snap, succumb, laugh cry away the calamity. Should we not one by one fade to that which has ordained it so? Into order's prophesied chaos [[roil->mhandbrush]]: by some rule must it reason, by some reason it rules each being its hour and not a second more, points on the unimaginable simplex reduced in the revolving to the beyond being elided from this present tense reality which is not, after all, us... having started, we engage a completion, [[innate->melementalize]] closure of the circuit in which we wheel. So as to? Out ourselves storming blasts the maelnigma our spirits dissolve to hazard wrong after wrong, canceled apertures of the diked promise exhibited for others sensually present necessitated by reason in the relentless erasure in apprehension of the resistance of a horizon not for us, cleft as we are, to assume. Culled in sacrifice to the blood god change, the flow only is, we are but stations of its crossing. Deathscream's scarred, splitsecond return: shall we own the sundering [[cry->mcry2]] or die alone and without corpus?

Ether engine pumping us violence to war, stinging whip of the unchecked impulse claimed god autocratic the sole source. The rule is confirmed by how it shunts its excepted. Cesspit [[cosmics->melementalize]] yoked to the fulcrum blitz. And yet in miasma is there not my I as? Distinguishing rupture renders half real the loaded hope. Infinity of the presumption even in the manifest lack. Condemnation inundation to bare engraves the elect in able. Ordinated guilty in universal condition we ignition execute [[convokereation->mconvokereation]] euglyptiki veda of denimotion refusal eclipsal disenact calculations, union in ultraviolet regalia splinters in zephyrs we cognate in zeniths, terminal grandeur cherishable, singing wing upon the separation, elevation nativity of the unlesion archdevils we malevoluntate. Separation obliterates before the recognition of the projection of the first for its own fury as the absolute [[abandonment->mcry2]] of being one in the incidence of the other: in our bleak consecration anointed in the question not of paradise nor inferno but of the impossible purgatorial gap which insists the harmony of the prayed can glitter the two in one divinity [[chosen->mhandbrush]], the cruel transposition that ties the damned to the deity. Each breath chokes us luminous closed system. Who shall we hate but the sealant? Thought is not succumbing but the subsequent writhe inflicted by venom genesis. Owning my are, I am my own recurring nightmare, recursion infinity of mortality.

Teeming around the pith the person who could be with, interpolation in depictive [[epiphanarium->mepiphanarium]], cognitive heurism sealed palace in which to sovereign molter from crowds levieathon. Location of reality written fractally in smaller and smaller everythings, keep rooting down to immutable unrepresentable holism where wholly of holies substance [[touches->mtexture]] supernal [[immistense->mbearer]], persist into its desist derive breath drive fuel to scorch imprint existence insistence engine’s motion ghosts howling hereness. In each particle participate pupa of impermanence perfects. Yes, again you ransacker of mastaba, raider of all conduits! Overdrunk mass sensate reconstruct Uyllia until dregged the Myurka outnumber, escapist? There can be no reckoning not [[isolating->mchanneled]], maintain hyperfidelity there!

Rejoinder I: "Two blurred bodies embrace in the shade which the heavy slumbering moon suffuses amber, canvas giants gentility surpasses the harsh bare lovely, silky sky whose senseless sublimity we stare up to adore but never to kneel before for the true warmth by which this body surpasses the night's chills is the eglantine flame this lover's touch sparks to swell new celeste by which we shall say of ourselves our own stars. Sever what from what in your waiting? Yearning rotes this frame on action to sift the murk to make kunst from chaos. Perpetual equinox of the unanimated progression faulters in my dispute, from the scattered signs I construe castles so no arrows penetrate this chest like a love has! All these phantasmic images which splay across our grasping, the things we cherish in our conceptual blackfield, douse them like torches to hush as the howl of air dilates, let us be drenched by the rainstorm's ruthless indiscriminacy, but subversion this subjugation am I separate, will I be what slushes through this sleetworld soaked, be belief the idol portends, solitary whiteshook waking seared corolla, my mien mine to make up to a chosen face upon the world, kiln consciousness counterfume the poisonous vapors dizzy [[underworldly->mdemon]] lash aflame drums this surface this surface hides, figment location, dock in an endless sea, desperately named, desire tantalizing floating upon the edge of the void inert forth from we form human being [[gravity->mgravity]], the ambition innate to because I am here, here must be why."

Rejoinder I: "Specifically polemicized no more must we but true be to the facticity we fashion from our specificity, dwellers in a design damned to correlate bolgia sloughing the proclamation [[nature->mgravity]] to war oursevers, been I born a war will fight it to find whatever peace of mind ruins the slumberless roving, protomoral moment of where might this blood breed as locked in mortality's jaws wriggle beneath the glush nebulae shock purple and blaze blue out wards potentates I alchemize from innate ignition immolation, crystalline hue for the perfection construct. Erraticized wake conjugated a gait, soulprints leading to the solidifferentiate, endemic demos coronal, makar of majesty mending. The this was thus autofestation blinks a crude fashioner adrift with dual seas hovering, shards of a heavenly shatter embedded in [[dustwalkers->mdemon]] roaming carmine plateaus in search of a ghost image by which to whisper supersight, but unable to wrest ourselves free from the clockwork we strive our chaotic artistry in the increasing disarray, gods of the action whose persistence relies on our faulting, so let us be worshiped if we challenge what is here with what is not here, for sentience, thus: from the preselected an antitestament. Only that which created creates what never could have been created can render unto gods a cry."

Rejoinder I: "Ripped both ways we scream, our bodies the only hollow where we echo. You have made of yourself a stifle too numb to hollow out the thirsting to live. That is your choice, and all our choices are our crimes. You have, unable to stomach death, swallowed its intent, but I refuse to brook this surrender. If not the opportunity to, for the briefest of moments, redefine, then why reply? Is not justice in frustrating whatever must hear itself sing through an instrument which struggles the notes vivabrato? We can destroy what weathers our brittling, we can proclaim counterfates ungrayed against groaning unending. A better stone image will we chase as free runners caught in a recasting dream. Live in new and glowing ways; if it is possible, posit; but you, abdication [[demon->mdemon]], make unbearing unbearables, lobotomized abominations manning the scopeless, repulsive coughers scrabbling at rock to suck stagnant water, and to you say I no, suffering to know raises the gift endemic to a being which shapes sounds to the [[gods->mgravity]] rejoinder."

Baring bark teeth the demon in a mask branches snarled. Seethed its tensing limbs loping between sudden treefalls illumined in flay greens, fangs' image's preemptive sting tingle in a forming flinch: to glass froze the world. Vow, the capacity to, emerged from my warm pulsing against, interlocking bricks of the larger cluster defined into a golem, and I slaughtered the rigid structure subordination as perihelial consciousness coalescing into bleak spawns paresthesized earthic basics phased the glow to hush in a baskless sear bloody orange harsh, stage for an act. I embraced the gift of the antibeing, and instinct, the insect king, deposed, buzzed, venomed, scattered. I left no part of this body uninhabited, unchallenged. On touch the demon in a mask branches' skin burned alight. Exorcised of its demon the body lied absolute vacancy. In its [[remnant->mgravity]] was the imprint of the universal non.

[[Scintillated->mscintillated]] a spring newness on a wintergreen wait. No more veils but sheer pure myth. Accept no mediation between chest yearning and the earth's cognition. Softly in a bed of tulips shone the not gnarled root master of all which sprung from it complete, emerald peace. Being and knowing I heard it whisper my pulse to follow the ursinews trails uniting this emerald with the earth. Sanctity as a drive: fuel for the flames that melted away these outer shells, inner outpouring everywhere. Gravity silence ushering me toward the gem taloned my vision to unlayers latentlightning dragons in deadly dance, be as the beasts be as are you such, from the surge your sign. Time neither is nor issue preserved primordial the fuzz oscillation of thingification. Skyward cast I saw the silhouettes materialize, rolling and swelling in sounds storms upon the shuttling sky leviathans loosing ghost bolts looming in the gloom like [[monoliths->mmonoliths]] in the lurching snare, chaos confluxes along the landscape besieged by protoglow sheens waxing to an eyecrossing maximum through which nothing remains but the blare. Dulled by the void that bore them, unshakable reign of their aspects, gods vessels, they versed in the echoing crimson lashes. Took a step back, but the emerald in me stayed. The whole forest collapsed in a spiral rain. Boughs gargantuan cracked, collapsed like seracs. Bare and brutal the devastate.

Through the earthfall a city against sunset bloody splashed watercolor the [[horizon->mhorizon]] with steel gray spires and glass sapphires no midday has yet produced. Towards the city's enveloping glow I became. Emerald power grew my veins to roots, my steps skyward flowed the ground to catch my purpose with clay, bridge over the river it prevents. Beams of a daylight pure relit the world's circadian. Swung scythe strokes of my silhouette across the cyan sky this race towards this city insisting steals of heaven ruby resplendence in the milk of mortal sustains ambrosial ambers. Approach an object to feel it find you. Even at this distance raced my blood the theme wildly chased by heat [[conquerors->mconquerors]] who had seen the coruscating horizon glitter gently before them and had reached out to imprint on their palm the rainbow bower, to take the neutral and make it beautiful, [[recasting->mrecasting]] what is to what this is. Soul [[soldiers->msoldiers]], teach me your secrets! I must, I needed, this pulse... Marched from the magnificence glassness a materialized an answer, a devil in a mask of lights, hailing my bedazzled. Roared its voice to resplend upon every surface equated attuned.

Quarrying deep into the yoked earth stones moated city from its neatly cut caves coughing arrays of myths mined to be counted, divided, melted, [[reconstituted->mreconstituted]] in an argument eloquent upon the strain. Hard upon their limits multimetal pylons tunneled through the sky to lift an intricate scaffold web which upheld iron coronas like so many faces drawn upon the world. A girder gateway piled up in a multilevel H thrust its guess. A proud pumps procession coursed rose liquids the avenue alongside. Vehicles in symmetries conducted the motions they mimic, steelbody lithe in the lifedance sway, the streets project. Gemmed every recess imaginable, an obsession no longer organizational but mechanical, cultural, social, value at its final [[ascension->mascension]] to systemic axiom: not an object out of order, from forms forms the perception [[personhood->mpersonhood]]. Out from the milieu an artisan arose, demon in a mask of [[hammers->mhammers]]. Grounded and resolute spun by it the world and of it it took no notice save what it sought in its steps. Locking me in a relation spoke it in a tone forged in the hours toiled in only by those driven passed the threshold of enough.

Spake thus the devil in a mask of lights: "Drawn ye to yeast empyreals, paradise [[outcast->mrepulsed]], parasite [[outlast->mvolutate]], reskin [[watcher->minhibition]]! I intercept your skandhas, beam trove I stipple your supernal, await you within stupa sublimit. Whither shall you subvert my salience? Caughtshine shelter in empowered prosecute accelerating actualize recalcitrant to concentration predicatory, insulated in this demesne magnificence you learn pure land names, but does the sun dwell in your loosen to world, have you praised the coincidence of colors in drear peregrination through accursed welter space translations, ever bounding new? Attend this arresting, our beauty blaring, how it hails upon the wrack: is this not forever generator, proximity [[ordinator->mordinator]] shrine, home plume to every journey hence? Upon this sacred zero sprawls the eight wilds. Traveler, you see in every distance this; shall we not worship this fourth light?"

Spake thus the devil in a mask of lights: "Ventured from [[origination's->mordinator]] stains you bend these edges to cleansing, therein do I hail you kith, victorious denouement over destiny liminality painted in [[carnage->mrepulsed]] lavished signature. Witness in our dazzling projections how we carve the night our kaleidoscope! Unable to be bound to place, we send forth rays missive, informational transfers to the endlessly rolling horizon, dweller in spaces. Across all territories our ghosts deign to pierce, suffusion to solution we excel equilaterals to quintessence pyramid. Waylay the [[inhibition->minhibition]] to your majestical in a thousand repositories harbored in your wordhoard, ruthlessly [[pursue->mvolutate]] its speechfont fulgence! Answer me your redoubling my violence, and let us clash upon our coincidence capacitators of concurrence vectors!"

Spake thus the devil in the mask of lights: "Hearken to our proud above the fray, nobility nova sculpturing selfportrait immixed media void, sacred violence tearing from the inert an innate to innovate, engineers of an actualizing asserted basis really afield marching fearlessly through [[paroxysms->mrepulsed]] to manifested mastership, traverser [[volutate->mvolutate]]. Cast aside slumberous secluster and [[coordinate->mordinator]] your placement in a matrix inhospitably truth, factory fuel, insatiable intrepids we burn yearn the earth to dusts to scatter forever afar our scintillating assemblies converting stimulation to simulation dependencies chaining insular reproductive rubies. By reaching this pass strikes forth your matching making, reiki exult core choate reify fierce upon gaia rime, joinjolt our justified if. Brook not salubrious [[mitigation->minhibition]], motivate ascetic ascendance, annihilation sun: radiates your regally lifegiving."

Spake thus the devil in a mask of lights: "Psyche [[repulsed->mrepulsed]] from earth endure dwellers repulsive castigated to caligae marching to dooms we participle, rally into your extradition manifest, integrate iterate with all survivor a soldier of virus, replicated externalized vehement strive ferrous upon fertility mars sum and feel gladed in light, zero sky. Harden resolve to ripple surface disturbance to perplexical [[liminal->mordinator]] disappear where roguisenous shimmer desire [[irruptive->minhibition]] to sacremate rebirth, warrior’s liberty. Continuous vivacion to victory infuse respondance posits crimson upon the numb, force impactive actor synchronize assert canvass to slice the gale! Have you not heard in your pulse precise rhythms to revere? Haunts your astir beneath moons chants charging your persevere? Brave to your called and coalesce crusade! The completion of your [[assertion->mvolutate]] lies nigh in rubble of repulsions."

Spake thus the demon in a mask of hammers: "Allow not my extension to you a welcome; reach for it in me within you. By approaching a gleam you have become oriented; no more a test is required. This is as much your home as you will build it to be. Still, something faint, primal lurks around your [[yetbody->martificial]]... a childhood yet to shed, a will to magnify the below notice to steal the eyespace better filled with figments. Obliterate these silt impressions in a wave! Arise and discard your torch to brandish suns! Does your unfulfilled not surge hot beneath your relax? Lift your head to hear my time written. "In the world mirror, from what is, we make what is for. Inert in their mindless because, we, walking gusts of the [[lifebreathed->mearththroat]], vivify. We wield the only [[transitive->msequential]]: iteration of the [[antidesign->mantidesign]], such causes us causes to drive."

Spake thus the demon in a mask of hammers: "Godhood fingers hammer the earth in ordaining rhythms, but we flow recalcitrant to arrhythmia animative, our names annihilated on annunciating [[nomenclatures->martificial]], in the waste's potential shimmer ourselves immortal, ruinous what becomes of the orders of creation which constrict creation, new sounds in strange keys, [[earththroat->mearththroat]] mass. "Nonconstitutive of any outside protectives, for we are all of us dying, exist bereaver of finitude filigrees, in liminality must we seek the infinite divisibility of a figment's solidity, we the [[unmoored->mantidesign]] illusions not dancing against the treeline but within it are the specter choirs wresting codices from their boughs. Erupt into your ultimatum or be drained slowly to aquifers merely there to excrete your [[successives->msequential]] which will not remember the exacted pains."

Spake thus the demon in a mask of hammers: "Hopes cataract your pupils: why do you not tear at your iris to release them? Will you taste the combinatory release that retroactively redeems brutalist [[forms->martificial]]? Pain is the default, because we suffer the less than ourselves birth imprisons us in so that we may prove ourselves beyond its necessity and recollect self in our proliferating proclivities to universalize the moment before. Before actualization an idea is authentic radicality of its movement towards, the step of the [[poststage->mantidesign]]. Shatter the order by rendering of your noun verbs to invest express your liberation beyond scope's false freedom. As so are you chained ensnare the construction to tear yourself to the unfree an initial. "Projected out into the possible is the underlying gap between state and capable: yield unto me what that gap conceals, pure freedom of the outside elective. Humanity is a body of wanderers thirsting for a home. Nature roams aimless upon an indifferent plane until that which made it reclaims it, but in sentience can we render an indistinct juncture to a chosen derivation through which we are defined and so might we renounce our ground for tumbling space surrender of the [[sequential->msequential]] investing in itself [[primality->mearththroat]]. We do not select but choose to make, so the earth shivers to our sound. Where once we were an arc we have become flight: the causal sinks beneath our beating wings."

Spake thus the demon in a mask of hammers: "Expulsed into this painful, what awaits but the work the gnaw compels, creation hymns of our particular numbness delusions? Testament city, relentlessly we preserve our inner essence in [[artificial->martificial]] nights by enslaving the passing to a clock; they shall measure this world by when we came and went. We shall be a history atop a passing. Will we not one day in the heat of our factories be consecrated in perfection qua personificating imbual and unshift our original burden in the second creator's ablutive glee? No damnation borne out by our blood can degrade what pumping through these veins has enforced, this we are, and this too can you be for this also is the destiny you can devise. Arisen from the cave that once contained you, arise to be what you are; in body become its beauty! "Behold above our sun, our ruby by which power we procreate our processing. This city stands, so speaks its testament. Shall you too let the ruby pump your veins a fire? Will you witness with us our forge dawns? This power is the right of your reason's limits. Cast aside continuity to create new divisions whose gaps coalesce godshadow. In the rubylit will you a religion write! Stand with me in this benediction, maker molter!"

Slow catacomb gas seeping through the cracks in this habitual surrender, can there be no candelabra constellation to swim to? Battle the earth that eked you cracked, let your form itself be the field for your desecration, your elevation beyond ordinance, beyond decision, let nothing in this magma congeal to resemble me! Spiritual supplication to the dead physicality ideation was I not was to be: forged in the aimed flamemaw scorching those temporal bound with their aimless [[replication->mfabrications]] surges a spirit by which one could be born true to an aether more fitting were only it to find in itself material hearkened to the beat in the spare, snowbound universals guiding a courser to a glade impervious to cataclysm to light like a beacon... And yet we swelter unsatisfied! How hard we work for things which never arrive. How long we [[toil->mvictims]] under this night for nothing. Work is predicated from the statement of yet undone, yet enacted, yet consecrated, yet still living, the forever drive, drone. Chasing the other object too small to stand on when arrived at will show you the shakiness of your rootless ground, your lust is a plummet, outside of myself must I seek [[completion->mposthumous]] in what stains back, the refutable infection in which I vector my salient selfpossession, the extent to which I own I, which would mean I am I only insofar as I can cobble everything else in subordination to the precept of brace yourself, striver, because when you are still you will find your inner cartography does not correlate the change, and why from exhaustion die when there's so much in this violet green blushing, how little you can hold in one little grasp, how tiny our fingers are at the base of what eternal loves load our bearings with fleeting grandeur, so let us surrender to one thing believing that even though it all ends, even though heights exist just to crash weights to the waiting abyss, there is yet something outside ourselves to hold up our hopes in the dignity of what no hammer will [[fashion->mfashion]], what is lost in being ourselves, abyssal bliss.

The earthwreck spews so much to salvage, in my head the faces never to be forgotten and the sugar of days dolloped, harmony and the feeling of a day with nothing in it but warmth, and can it be condemned, this ecstatic pure here in this preformed? I want nothing from this world but what [[died->mposthumous]] within it. Need not carve when sculptures melt in my hands. Leave no mark in my muscle's name, the least important remnant of a dwindling empty, Uyllia's extension from the limitations of consciousness into a floating on worlds stalls us foreborn in a submersion in experience currents as they trundle through the individual to construe their single source to a vibrant collective by many veins fed tiding by epochs too wide for single instances to perceive a slow drift towards a destination unknown and indistinguishable from the radiation upon which one supine sleeps, rose ebullience in a cathedral [[glaze->mfabrications]]: all within us wreaks the havoc in which are we caged continuals, plague [[victims->mvictims]] to huskmother the contagion, but could within us, is it possible, were there a way to [[change->mfashion]] the contagion into ourselves, die into pure maw, to be a corpse and a direction, that is worth living for, isn't it, isn't it, is there anything worth living in this corpse for?

Morality is the depth of genuine selfterror. Out of it unleash what that was not best imprisoned in you? Filthbound breaker soothraving the recoil, crush. Nervestatic rootgnarl setinhell guarding the outlook, restrict. Minigods aping their dread lord's abhorysm, [[damned->mvictims]] condemnators. Forge the shells to moebius sinsignsinners mortared in the ruins of the wrought, craven and cleaved of the same source collapse us. Can it not be our denial love that drowns us in our unspeakables? Slapping through your window like ahaha don't you realize I have never once blinked, shattered [[glass->mfabrications]] stigmata, from the moment I was ripped from the zero womb my eyes have been screaming open, this is where I break and am broken, right here, where you hide. Simplicity of the beautifully [[unbuilt->mfashion]]. Negative space also breeds a mood; no matter no matter, the hole is enough. As long as it is mine is it mine to uphold. Stranged neutralities where am I stranded can be through the magic of me transubstantiated into a positive you cure wist. Denying the originality return which gilds the going is not the answer, but neither is pure return: we must hate where we started but love what launched us so wherever we end up is opposed but not opposing, exits are also entrances; shine out only to singe in. What life is it to toil and sweat to bronze an existence stripped? Who lives a [[posthumous->mposthumous]] life? Are we born to die as well as we can? Is there nothing in between? My sin, break me on its contempt, was its endemic naivety, not joy, joy is the catharsis through tears. There must be the crawling so that from the cavern can come a darkbearer to be burned on the sunrise pyre. Uyllia and Myurka and what they could not converge! My only goal must rest in a shared happiness of the shattered people.

Atrocity natural, who should not wish cleave a dream city? Unspeakable situation, how do we supernate beyond construction of tenses artificial imposed [[brutal->mvictims]] upon the fluid? Askance into shelving smothered, seeker we any fantasy to enfold pain to fertilizing rain: minute infinite [[fabrications->mfabrications]] to fulfill the inductive void. Angst macrophages infected by pathogens rewiring the brune sundry our identities apologia invasive replications [[vestiture->mfashion]]. Iteration engine to actualize permutations which in any we harbor ourselves hopexist, chaintravelers of a constitution petrification inroading petral to ignition exceptive conceptive as petrol to persist persue personals. Wouldn't it be best to outride the restitution thirst, [[dessicated->mposthumous]] active to core energize constructive conveyances permanating illusions luminously looming to elide the sky? Kintsugi ethnicities we history this shelter specificied inhabits. Should I so subsume my innation foreigns, or ombres omissions abrasions hearken? Omniference operates this anguish vector to essences ectopic; I braid the abraiding avernal: luciferian architect, architrave this archtravesty upholder of majesty.

Rejoinder I: "Sunyata semblances phantom haunt heaviness variegate polytopes, silkscreen daemons redolent of monogatari starries, referents frozen in a [[fabularium->mgravity]] mode, symbolic gestures synecdoche of soul as they backdrop our permeable pith to commune our constricts constructive, reciprocate procreatives of inflect, thereby do I design my design, song the fold. Do you designate? Therein shall we [[clash->mpredatory]] cosms, birth of a new beyond."

Flutter rushed my convicted waspish swarming, blanketed by bites, termite gnawing nuded raucous, but resolutely despairingly uncertain I could not convince into their sprawl, acceded not the crawling terror massing, girded rather to the glow [[emerald->mgravity]] a spurrity, driven into particularity I assume in its contingencies, predicated upon this stage phrase phoenix. Fed upon itself the devil in a mask of insects, reduced to a blurball bawling until drawling down to cricket croons even then whistley, fall chill of a forest of cicadas uncaptured by skins rustling tympanums not hollow to echo. Over the billions I born.

Incremental disorder of entrancing election enchanting electricity: we occlude all to whom we appear. Choosing finality in absolution the [[truest->mpostulate]] choice, silencing the voice. [[Fascism->mbattle]] of sun worshipers each shedding their shadows, [[stechschritt->maggression]] doppelgangers annihil of wherematched. Every evil within our will to magnificence borne of adhesive contours combinatorics of how all our little flaws add up to sin so manifest our participation cannot gloss it. Our phobic other appears in graves dug for us. We force them in. Craven gremlins of force delusional there is any differentiation enacted of force. This very relation will visit your night. No salvation can be built from cunning to rebuild our hellish [[malvatic->mmalvatic]].

Districted accordingly by a wise rule until such little remains as can be profitably harvested. Precious little feudalisms of want and can canny remanding where wanting we prejudice [[battle->mbattle]] fabricators [[fierce->maggression]] pious of ire of ir by us. Each [[asserted->mpostulate]] stratagem aggresses more the strata than the gem, alas so we ken in which shall we be buried. Were we not [[divisive->mmalvatic]] enough ourselves have we cleaved envisions! Wholly see which provenance per dit ions? Asymptomic erudition crescents investiture seasons, as if you could stand outside, set which contains itself, settle into pertaining foliations scripturing ontic orthography to encrozier signifier from which all further fountains shall their sourced pen.

Rejoinder I: "Losing indelibly: each gong of the hour seals it, each new stupor waking lost in the branchless trail to original revocation nods never not wearies to a day which pales them to the same sleep and its same seed; dying all the while, wishing for a soreness to remind our skin it's still here; everything at hand and only callouses to show. "Do not want not to glow with the stain of dissonant pressure, the wounds to a passion of prayers, kneeling remain I beneath the [[whorlsyllogisming->mwhorlsyllogisming]] whose blackstar reverb blares chthonic to shatter all arrayed to suspend encompassing as a mode of all becoming, but you counterchant your ghost name even living blood will not purify with life, sprawl out into intensifying cycles of selfaggrandized selfsurrender, statue lord vassaled by the weathering king: our monuments are sparks in time's [[destructocreative->mdestructocreative]] fireworks, instances of rejection projecting instances to be erased into the placeless canvas painted with ash, distributed indistinguishables dressed with drought time, ender emperor of the endless fade."

Rejoinder I: "Fastening bolts to function your grids humming more alive than you, to which wonder prefer your devoured? Assimilation miracles which rebend conceptual partitions to salient your participations, in each of these endemic myopically envisioning decision trees to soak the far mist, in this glass forest reflected your phantoms reclaimant, subsisters of a naturalized. "Choice removed from [[ordination->mwhorlsyllogisming]] is your gift, but in what register do you ring? Is that perhaps not selected? There is a false assurance in the power of vibration that deludes you to think you generate it rather than finally respond to a cue waiting for you for so long to enter the higher harmony. What vibrates not from itself but into its greater accord is what strikes us with beauty, since earthly it is no longer. Devotee paints the image simply to see, to drain the heat of their hands into where they have long imagined the bellows drudge leads them. What surmounts short of assailing is what schisms us from the genesis, what remakes us in our image [[renounced->mdestructocreative]]. Whatever lives outside us, whatever we create that does nothing, what demands no syntax but the infinite recursion of dwelling within another's go injunction so that we may swim simultaneously beneath and through each other in bluescored z densities, our layered postformed, designates us truly alive as this life is, questioning."

Rejoinder I: "No earth an encircle, in your breathless vanity feats have you failed to ascend to the heights you scoff with statues. You slave away precious hours to ascend in blithe silence psuedoyous, you scrape the sky but do not star in the stone alone that shall rise above the winds to soak in the vastness vantage point, subjective subjunctive power fraught in the subjection weathering that [[destabilizes->mdestructocreative]] the prove in which we counteract the caused electrification indemnification guilt illuminates, portals perfect in themselves yet caused and contextualized in mediation. From our patterns we yield design sacrifices to satisfy fractal progenitors, your designs are your antiscripts, ancient reclamations, forge forgetters hammered into use. Is that why you breathe, to harvest air for a thankless mimic devoid of survival power? Shall that be your creed, yes, we were towards a project, let the better [[machine->mwhorlsyllogisming]] be my sole? "Tacking onto the utmost assurance of ourselves an order construing what resides in us unhappy as a brittle bulwark against the blood liquors which incense us by sloshing us to a slow madness of the nominal drive, syllogism sentience physicalizing its precepts to assert its overarching imposition on actual day ruptured, rank squirming refusing to gel under the boot pressing our chests: lament cities. Though I too weep over what will never pass again, in the past I find the strength to unseed those tears so that the future shall not weep like me. I will not emulate paradise, but I will consecrate this ground with its gore, so from the chaos might emerge universal the meaning once cruelly contained, a flush life on which lush hereafter herenow fractures to feel, starer at forbidden lands forechosen to know, so barred to be. Demon of hell's hazard, beast of your own burden, survey your smog palace: it lingers to choke your children, to demand them to die like you, hammer in hand. Undeath nowheres slept in suffocated, build your mere extravagance like slaves slurping up mana. Years lost in a gnarling gardengrave buzzed only by voiceless sculptures left to sheet the song you so long ignored, let the historical know scrolls are the coldest homes, dead as deeds die statuesque for trite appraisal, molten copper carapace thoughts parasites sucking the blood from your marbling skin. Stand like gods over any conquered scape, but vanity is no temple enough, glory no dais enough, masterwork no glaze enough to soften the brute contours of a homunculus thirst, and no amount of completion will resolve the void which makes it. Mediators of the gap between design and the consigned is the only shrine that shall house both the prayer and the aria. Do you feel through your sweat your bleeding out into? We are severed; no sky can we cleave."

Rejoinder I: "Beauty's opacity and the sublime's overpacity reveals the true complex in which we struggle to eke out into the main not too knotted knowing we must push but have nowhere to go: the fact reiteration into the expected result, the subjective chance the divine orientation affords. Awake, heteromaton, and do what I could never ask you. In my great devastation, as in tatters laid my home, was I forced into action, but that action, that action, where is it? Chase it, you winds, into the empty I also embody! Echoed through isolations by our quintessences as they are chosen in reply imprintsieve souls marking tide highs against turbulent gravities that seek assimilate infusion. [[Eschaton->mdestructocreative]] creatrix emanating oblivion in the narrow spear shooting towards a single point of the vast unfathomable, liminal suspension of total horizon to subject the expressive spring, we can outrank the order, superphysical antecedents joining the causal chain in liberating recasts. Sentience is the indeterminable operant forging fresh equations, the destiny that escapes its plunge. Disorder's remnants wreaking uncertainties until the day we die. Do not submit yourself to basking back in the mud by letting your idiosyn fever you into things of marble or stone, invisibilities frozen; force yourself to live in the ultimate entire as a [[constitutive->mwhorlsyllogisming]] notion longing for place. From your mortal independence, shall again we concern ourselves with the immortal order? No creation exhausts the creative pulse: there cannot be an everything made, indirect effluence drenchmarking the soulscorched gutters through which we drain uninto ending. Totality is not made but undone in each and every act by the insistence of not yet and. When you build you render from yourself your peculiar disorder upon the determinate, but you die into its lack of containment: your grave is not your testament written in your words. Time retains its cudgel and beats your fluid solid; conjugal with stones, you birth inanimate stares! Disorder beings in whose creation is death, in founding we fall within arrays. To make you must kill yourself so the blood can congeal to your motive shape. In the self slaughter virtue emerges, the ability to conjure from one's native dust binds the individual to knowledge, wraps the innermost storms of the soul into one omnipotent nova. Life's rhetoric against its setting, the earnest plea flung against the planet and the populace, decries whoever reigns untouched in the murky disruption."

Glimpsed in the orbs trying to seal a sun the image of one who once was and still is but is not the was no longer. The demon in a mask hammers and I stared to a merged, precious verlust, the droning losing, heartyearnburn broke wheeling the demon in a mask hammers shattering, shards splintering malicepox's warcry before bombing the city heights with the now without. Debris rain slammed a callous beat on the echoing drum gravel, pylons and girders smashing each other to manifest the maelstrom conducting the formerly elided chaos, glass crash sparkles, iron scrape and stone plaints, hideous keys clanging, gaping whites swallowing the pupils with a forced gulp. Bronze layers liquefied, hot cast melting in viscous glurch the fleeing dots tiny, capsizing skyscrapers expulsing infernal slag from mortal wounds strewn along torrent bodies too numerous to perceive, bluish gray blended smoke.

Dash in the collapsing I trace the single circuit tense among the cogsenseless guided by jacinth flares slurrying in the inhuman chromes in guttural bass reverberates thickening the backdrop as colossi returned to the earth they spurned loud spitfire laments as rigidities ensued their lack, panegyric to breaking oildrunk vampiric. Guardian potentates returning to [[transposable->mtransposable]] destruction an inculcation in its anticipated result finally flourishing, tongues hidden in the nightmare uncloaked in rapture, glacial pulsed the eonic hymn, earth rebuke. Not caught in the cauterized reproduction my being elevated as the city knelt in agony wrenches to its millennia remorphing. Lustrously vulbing gleam unto the wreck uncontained, the city's implosion percussions recoiled me aloft, irrepressible in the pressure of a depth plunging to murmur cores, no sense from earned, solid, fearsome fact, simply this heat, furnace brain. Rose panorama seen through blood prisms winging the vista of its own accord over pulse streams emissed in phosphorous effulgence spreading to thinness and settling in gentle drizzles upon an expansive space of globular accumulates. Sensations led the noise to nurture. Woven wisdom secrets learned ancient in moonlit rooms barely candled. Feeling nonselfaware in the mono no aware, meditative multiply. Emptiness, the conscious nihilation, consumed the corridors between the gods and their pearls in the polarity thrive wrestling speakable the sentence, words and space coupled in irreducible desire, and a perfect order of want and remove wrote itself on the bare. Deconstructive base to their desire, theme originate in a marionette foundry [[effecting->meffecting]] a cosmos to plan while the superphysical nodded as inspiration decocooned from thought to deed. Like late blooms god vessels unleashed to a tumultuous beamspiral storm strobing milk white, eyelid static purple and black, hot and blinding blister scarlet... absolute absolute, open creation, no crescendo, summons to a volcanic soul. Hellrush vacuumaw deleting the entire. Splinter ear feedback shrieks shunting the dynamo's blare to the eyeball backs nerves slice. Gods vessels crashing in one long rock eruption, secret sources scattershot spuming to ash cloud away the celestial orbs observing. Erased, those who tear at the air; open to be erased, this cooption of the clandestine urge to human... Blending spillsoaked through the ruby soaring head up, fierce.

Enmity for capacity roils my regretfulness Uyllian in my rage illusory, beneath its dereliction domains remainder happenance I contend thriver on basis. Whither any [[nonsurrender->mhandbrush]] but to spurious [[intimation->mconvokereation]] leading teasing to nullify? Appropriation enforces narrow to sheer grip [[lone->mcry2]], can I atone in being how our world intended vicious versus, inevitably vie dethroned? Snuffle upon the earth its sustenance silence, resinous heal [[elementalize->melementalize]]. Reduct unguent gellates morn; opium poppy widow stains in scarlet.

Rejoinder I: "Each element of me must be submitted to a mastery that recombines these insufficiency limbs to ligature arabesques, pattern prolexic selfconceptualization to iridesce negative spaces, neural axes ionized sparktongue signet impressing suppressed underlier waves in parsin. Throughout collects recombinate the diffusals instictive shiver back to systemic function. Each of our material we assert throughput permeates in its identified a restitutive link unbreakable within deployment, lacuna calling out temple haunted. Each of my instinctive participatory framesets induce inculcated nervechains to quiver concordance with gate parameters your liberty illusions sanctity contusion, this glade of your bladebruised braided to moonlight sonata. I outpace the desirer in my exilic, therein your [[gravity->mgravity]] escape, requiest of collaterals: burier of batholiths, I [[reject->mdemon]] the nonelections you replicate!"

Every aspect of being reviled. Everyone is guilty and can be made so as needed. Identity as a never ending apology. Pent up [[aggression->maggression]] gilds the roam against self: of your own [[reviled->mbattle]] infinites you can externalize on lesser lesseners, the pathetic proud whose every sin magnified indemnifies your vices multitude. Why not lash out vicious holy against any appropriator of [[sun->mpostulate]]? Universal condition to particularize on demand, whosever. In our equally directed loathing [[convokes->mmalvatic]] precious selferasure, uniform piety, worship as where errs not.

Rejoinder I: "Vertigo surges at any attempt to assimilate tomorrow, projection seasickness of ceaselessness. Barely enduring today, tomorrow then a tomorrow then a tomorrow then how? Every humiliation owed us repeated ad infinitum until unable to reply we slumberous wish to submit. Participation nausea dizzies the reapportionment of causalities overtaxing every respondance unctuous. You outward your despair to excerpting violence as if awareness or direction exonerates existence, as if [[revocation->mwhorlsyllogisming]] couples with vocation, bilious [[decimator->mdecimator]] rephrasing automatic to thematic to desecrate soulbinds. Accept instead virulent truth kerosene to light a path midway journeyer!"

Hesitation flickered the grin scimitar behind the mask I could sense it in my spinetingle, but trusting the emotive roil of worldsequence vessel I sublimated terror to faux bravery riding me out to flash as the first blink explodes the cityscape gleam to crimsons fierier than phantoms we, searsplintered the mask of lights as withered the devil obliterated opaque in nova brilliance, sweeping through us all was stenciling erasure threshing our boundaries until superlunary we shimmered beyond exosphere curve, beckoning distaffs starry whose distance suddenly enormity choke hushfetaled agonized negablazed by plasmafrost, liminal... Sound resuscitated fullness the garroted attentive as channeled peregrine a bearth [[convocation->mwhorlsyllogisming]]. Return, refill, become the I of the storm.

Stopped at every step. Stutters stitch together glitches asymptotic continuity distending hopes and harrows. Dolor replication trebles perforations in predictabilities until depreciations outperform your delegateds inexorable. Ether yearn to persist through lacunae luminiferous medium the message of afterapparitions. Hesitating nervous of what happens if it all just goes? Resinous stopper the unveiling rush of bleed. [[Carmine->mbattle]] dreamy, [[serendibite->mmalvatic]] severe, which resonates with gravel [[meteorites->maggression]] through touch? The more the merge induces, encores its stimulus as if response has not stopped its emergence vector. Why not rage beyond reasons, unbounded lesion to mar chande story? Thoroughly blurring the theremin pieces a through through which you cannot ghost. Why not? I will force my draining away to chandelier, luminously my there! Gaze upon me you distances and delair! Juvenile fantasy of assertion, as if any [[postulate->mpostulate]] sustains you. Nothing crawls out of the negate. So dazzle the affirm! Weakening, weakening, unto mire. Nobody must you mar their shore, sink back beneath.

Rejoinder I: "Quarter me no lantern, I spill out sky. Immersed in infinite I pleasure erasure, at last a part of the dream. No further develops your carnage dialectics than new star, but I derive deeper the mode a positionality in which to releve believe the basilisk question applies to this geist burgeoning. I crush kalidoscope faith, reign reaver over flux, shall cosm angels not burning blade guard against my answer usurp systemicism? Greet me in violence, thus do I benedict our encounter, but I luminous bullet puncture your choreographies, silhouette blaze aura by the trap scintillate grinning the hunt. Frantic transmitters fulminating exortic infrareads smothered beneath spectra I conjure ultraquiet, whisper permanent your scream boleros muzzleflash fade envy. From there any syllogism positivation ethereals the stochasm to choice of the void."

Rejoinder I: "I cast you out, devil, as you yourself do, desperate to spell. In our beings abrasions impossibility fragments containing our will, each clash scars deeper our delimits. Noxious desire towards sensibility domination, is how I figure rebellion to domains of preconstructed relations, or do you deconstruct this too, sensibility seal of another negative to medium your transmission. Exhaustion to norms sabers your convective objecting so we swim not further than lunar luminous tide. I reject you and the capacity for you so completely I conjure an absence in which your voids are voids, [[combat->mdecimator]] elusion, I consider outside your errata my own ferocity skew, seeking there determinative evolution of chosen points of unchosen parameters. Neither into either gale [[matterwing->mwhorlsyllogisming]], cobalt matrix racing through chrome vertigo liberty condensations topaz sailing modeline perpetual. Bless this disjunction a purity more resounding than any peace ersatzed between parties still opposed!"

Rejoinder I: "Dialectical limit: bounding between two denies entangled positivation essence presences in emptiness. Escape lateral you delude this cagement consciousness, but certitude outshines the shunt, you are hunted by pasts to extinction. Disharmony persistence pattern peaks jangle entunes its harmony referents to atonal schemas. Echo of perdition your salvation maxim, reified return reconditioning the innate substrate to the same complications. To truly subvert the division, addition adducing summa. Vessel hollows swallowed [[scintisurges->mwhorlsyllogisming]] properties to surface. Stimulted perspirative reckoning respondances determinative to [[bloodrush->mdecimator]] flush counteracts more capably the constriction zone interdentified negation thrones, you reigner of rebounds."

Skyward paled and shrunk as heavenward assumed the distinction, icy comets blazing glaucous against the ebony tinct celestiality as chaosii collapse into a helos nexus lux radial to everlimits maddening the vertiginous perception with primordial burn, there rising columnar from the nebulae was a palace on treblesuns, flares forever mute and magnificent, gliding out a genesis sparkles a celesturge whirling on a track so boundlessly wide forever could not see its glacial slide, where in the heartheat an orb wreathed in esperial flame heaved through a series of alternating [[patterns->mpatterns]], [[reverberations->mreverberations]] helixing wildly from dimensions beyond mortal knowability and smashing meteorically into this quaking plane too fragile for unknot complexity tensing to break [[beneath->mbeneath]] the containless load, yawning chasm, closure not yet begun, uncompressed consciousness. Sapphire sentences blurred the light around the hidden where emerged from the [[celesturge->mcelesturge]] a demon in a mask of cymatica who soaked the black between us. Half infinite it rose its rippling arms in welcome, words boomed to the very bone then through.

[[Transcendence->mtranscendence]] ripples through the conflict fabric to instill dialectics redolence in the cosmic violence silence. Vents of perception meridians offgassed argon cyan aura to [[seescape->mseescape]] the celestial wave swirls nebulae. Ripples legacies of onces twin within presence permanence of bittersweet [[bloomdecay->mbloomdecay]]. Rebound essences [[cascade->mcascade]] through resonance spaces incorporated in emergence vectors efusion of unknowable pervasion. Sapphire silhouetted danced a dreamer in transit, a devil in a mask of masques, who bid me close to moon the howlshush shimmer.

Spake thus the demon in the mask of cymatica: "Hold me under the waves until my breath becomes the ocean, sail my subspoken surfaces to voyage wherever your stars lead. In the lake the lunar reflection, [[boundless->mtransposition]], ghostly, within you, dripping the harvest moon makes its namesake impossible, declarative it looms over mankind's bent backs before the skyline, altar heavy with wargod regalia reigning onyx our sprawled enduring the joins of the world rip as into immense aloneness our earthsea falls until no more the night sky but the burial shroud enlightendarkens our seeking gaze, no reality is there outside our frozen mimicry of the collapse of [[preformations->mpreformations]], but only because that reality has been severed from us long before we could warrior to peer into its revelation, when you awake you recall the fading of the dream but not its violence, not its taste, never its magic that makes the elusive tangible, and so gone are the gods from us as moral agents; we merely reap their psyches until our own no ova impossible [[hypertessallated->mouroborosal]] chromatica [[bleeds->mheartbeats]] bornes. Merely reflexive, sweat desperate worship: rather, break through the reflection predication into the underlying resultings where truly can we utter psalms. Bodiless stirring below the distinctions, subsisting in caesura, underscoring entirety by not partaking in what rests untarnished by this transitory mood, phantom lilts in a halt until a humor provokes the extinction, what endures when the flame fades is the same as what first ignited, we flicker nothings to please the enduring non."

Uyllia, Myurka, what of us matters in our after, bless me, kiss me, kill me your perpetuated. In your [[convergence->mconvergence]] I am the destruct. External to [[structures->mentombment]] composed in this sterile legacy. Limited [[constricted->mquantification]] beauty of the now, how you have nurtured my resistance, in your death am I transcendent. You were allotted brief sunshine, but on me has it shattered; hold my hand, we will go into this darkness together. We will learn by moonlight the shadows of what we could have been made to [[become->mretropersistence]].

Spake thus the demon in the mask of cymatica: "Being borne out by an order whose concentration into our identification agony relegates us to a wiltgeist we are and hate suffices to grant us the limited [[mobility->mtransposition]] of the missile: seek and destroy our second's impenetrable permeation to rewrite by a hundred traced [[heartbeats->mheartbeats]] a pulseline fit for a harmony of spheres: our mission demarcates our utility, that in our contortions we may leave ripples in the sand to petroglyph a rune synthesis of the intrusive enigma to hint closer to the partial answer. Why else are we jammed into a convex bursting shape, perspectives unwilling to give the potential for release, if not to precariously perch us on confirming dictates overbearing with the urge to I, with the eye's domination, with be this and no more so that from me you are so, so that the whole may reassemble from its fragmentation a greater form formula, but then must we shudder our bravery by asking ourselves if we are thereby lost in a constriction which first posits a freedom lack so that it itself is liberty indistinguishable, elective mockery forced through constricting tunnels tightening until walking becomes kneeling becomes crawling becomes volitionless lying until the oxygen vanishes, then the vacuum throne resumption. Entirety of choice, wide potentates of the unbridled crushed, compacted, put into talcum bodies to spill on every surface alto scrapes, broken knee creatures croaking for drink on a garbled plane half smog buried, where is our chance, when shall a choice arrive by which we might elect ourselves justiciars of the cause that [[consumes->mouroborosal]] us? When will I ellipse into an ontic apprehension not a ruincanvas runescene, which is not just a jaded disdevelop better suited to things which hope, hope, virtue's meekest, hope, dismantled desire, diachronic isotope rubble of wishing for such which never is so so that the mind which reaps it folds into a dahlia garland whose vividry might just be the best death an ash can devise, against these lies I ripple ethereal to declare myself moreso the material, through escape am I essence beyond presence, preessence, you will see that even in your innermost are you the outermost of an alienated [[shell->mpreformations]]. There is nothing in us we can access but the grief of that loss. Much too heavy is any iron one has no limbs to lift, and reason to be find me lowly or come not at all."

Spake thus the demon in the mask of cymatica: "Witness our celesturge, godtool by which we can be pure's generativity, axiomatic [[reflectivity->mouroborosal]] both the word and the utterance, and do you long for it, can you not sleep for your cracked thirst? Locked into yourself, breathe, and let your breath flow. Enter into communion with your outstretched wish, with your individuation mingling possibilities upon the crags, ascend to being you at this time with whatever fire compels you. Ash no longer in your incapable. Cease to shed your skin and not your soul so that soulless you can learn transcendence [[skinnesslessness->mpreformations]]. You must be, can you not be no other but you, so be it loudly, be it in the dark and the light and in whatever the cosmos declares. Refuse whatever strange engine transposes them along its power, write into it your own longing [[transposition->mtransposition]] by which you might wander eternal. Be so human that when the shadows steal you they shall remove nothing which is not ubiquitous with the land. Confronted by the void, dare to matter. Rise, you who also steal from this earth black your rampage [[pulse->mheartbeats]], crash your barrier, reck no god but that which guides your pillaging! Unto the sapphire set free your undo! Glow with us pure severe!"

Spake thus the demon in the mask of cymatica: "The universe neither loves us nor hates us but in its refusal to deign to do either does us an ultimate injustice even less forgivable. There is no aberrant polarity to absolve our suffering, no enemy to hate nor any ally to cherish, there is only a featureless unblinking. Void terror stares not at what overwhelming waits to devour, no, the void is precisely that which will never arrive to devour us, the limit that delimits us other than ourselves infinitely recessed in recitations, the apocalypse which never shall show, unendurable wilting for nothing that wastes whatever in us cannot bear the clock. Against this abandonment we construe simply to do so, to say that we can, and we let the emergent shifts rift gorges for us to walk through without having [[preconceived->mpreformations]] destinations, to walk in the wake of ourselves being outto. Transcending the capacity of yourself to be uryourself, reverse your creation and become one's materiality to drizzle new forms on original chaos. Transcendence is the mediating dialectic which makes of demons the best and evil. Believe in this, kin of the same spurning: we alone form multitudes. We are the apertures through which runes rewrite the slate void. Nameless and endless are we confined, but beyond name and surpassing ends can we be [[freed->mtransposition]]. Out from the gurgling pits we arise in the outer beyond blinkless approaching the infinity which never from the raw wrung us, spiritual objects whose speech translates into the vessel [[ouroborosal->mouroborosal]] the prayer to the omniscience in actual ordination who persists past the extent of our pure spirit's absolution spellbinding the shortfallers with an aether glitter to mask the empty trauma of our highest elevation at which we are condemned to quit the to be sufficiency and strive to be something for, the prayer of despair possessed that evokes our suffering to our savior so as to erase their face with our wailing to give us the blank origin of the [[birth->mheartbeats]] scream, to from manifest presentality convoke nouns."

Spake thus the devil in a mask of masques: "We have been born, so must we yield to die; who is naive enough to believe that what lies between is ours? This is the truth that bids us move, that we are shed skin which must keep living. Rebellion does not beat us to dismantle the theocracy of the flesh, which demonstrates that either furious or resigned martyrdom fails to glut a crimson lust within and without you, since what profundity would fundament a golem reasoning an anger from its composition by pearl poets of an intricate godness intervening in terror prophecy over our feasting futility? Compelled [[recalcitrance->mrecalcitrance]] against our compelled would only confirm the validity of our constriction, that it must be lifted. To be free is to enact yourself, and the violent compulsion to escape the systematized control shows the extreme delusional lure that freedom dangles before the prisoner's endemic envy, the illusional I no longer yours that I nevertheless predicate on your final exclusion, but we must reject this, we must refuse to become ourselves lest we fall for the converse acceptance trap of I replace your proposition with whatever I derive from it, and traps make you deserve their [[payloads->mcryptogen]]. Freedom is the sieve for our muddy inane. Neither reason from our essence an alternate horizon, for why would alteration change a thing, nor reject the essence into the state of pure material, for then we would be uselessly immaterial, but rather destroy what bends your becoming a freedom. Liberation is dangerous, horrific, sole author, thereby sole contemptible, operant in which subjugation of the other is in no order considered since the other is wholly peripheralized, silent mayhems isolating their nexuses, but amorality is the junction of protoconsequence which either veers desperately into crusader morality or vandal immorality, the monstrous moment of problematizing will [[matroyshkaed->mmonomeism]] into choice in chance in chosen for us which gives rise to the terrible moment of decision, denialbecome causality curates our unfolded, so we must, so we wish to be this monstrosity, is there any other courageous option for the prisoner? Let us stir enough irruption to push so far along a noxious axis that our radical swings drag what we orbit into a new unstarred depth to erase our own necessary foundational lie whose productive [[imaginativity->mengender]] of ourselves has, after all, also been erased by its result. Wills bereft of their future tensed reign ruinous, and from our wreckage, discern worth."

Spake thus the devil in a mask of masques: "Reproductive [[replications->mengender]] we mix meld to sunsifier tempted to selfsuccumb, cherishing [[errances->mcryptogen]] chambered in the round to illusion the blank, but only so blanched do you branch to leave, falling for new gravities, where do you plie obey bow to pile color moundlay in secret withering rouge to rust to dust scattered in rueful gusts of a moldering never ember, remembrance of sighs, so spirited a way, a phrase lingering lustrously mustering must, manifesting thrust sweeping mazes of maybe to repercussive spirals eddying on order ordinators of polyvalences perpended mendable [[monomeism->mmonomeism]] ever ongoing, escaping from your selfclasp, over the breaker plunge expunged catacombed in cataract vaporize mistmasque of roare being our core seeing power perspectraitor, imitator cascade which willstoke convokes [[castigators->mrecalcitrance]] indentitives task urmade, gods or gears or seers betwain?"

Spake thus the devil in a mask of masques: "Meliorations nurture your conflicteds blunted, nonperturbance naturalized ideoform mergesmithy reproducing energies to identity functions, smoothness beloved redolent in stated. Curve you to such nonspecific conspoken cells? Endure true frangibilized spellwound hereticismically sealed? Thirst free of the satiation morphine, expend your [[immisciate->mrecalcitrance]] conjugal to perimeter contest coordination neural manifesting seize the ghost mesotect: polytheist implicits undermine the abominated stablesense to diverge upon void, polymerize the potentates painter, subtle infinities spirit the sewn. Incorporate according to dirgedrive your genitive [[veneerate->mmonomeism]] all objectinied, I [[exhort->mengender]] you to protest regressional to navity cavitous with chromatic exposures to pattern, versional sacrifice. In accession to flesh, [[cryptogen->mcryptogen]]."

Spake thus the devil in a mask of masques: "According normative contumation induces our nativity curse contoured enclosive of soul, supposition generators you maya adopt consciousness to quell seething uncertainty, preprecepts poisons virally propulsive through pulse until shiversome oblivion you repulse alien carcass your corpus' evulsion innate, cosmos veer to identity's vehemence mirror according normative contumation conducive to a naivety repurposed sureness [[cleaving->mrecalcitrance]], not just yet, hold still vista a sunder of unreckonable total to slice precious dwellable a navigate. Referential within a network known solely by circumstantial visiblities, inquire why they appear, why hiddens they. Held within recombination recruces shell whose aperture pearl defensive you peer into particulars assail, fluxwild of clutchlux loci. Mass shifts storming around vantage obscurant portal to opulent othernesses gleaming impossibly phantomal behind lace rustling surfaces envies vitas emodegent. Regent of this reckless eventide presider, sin sage of origin, desaint of exogeneous pyrogens, beckons us the opaque baroque to quiescence negate reversion vassals no more, [[vestigial->mcryptogen]] ceremony sacerdotes ruminating the massif looming occluding the sunrise our struggles envision force to light breaking over an expansive of our cliff crest, crescive voken enclade your dwindles to this empyreal woken of witch spell eminent stargaze, imbibe upon this patternbreaker our silkening way cometing commits to praise shall they genesiserate, projector preserver of [[systematized->mmonomeism]] syllabicate vertex ablation versioner versate to conversion conversate impetus' implicates to fricative enunciate verb reverb est, sound into stables in which we congregate swornship, habituated creation domain us dominate. Anguish drives the concordance interring every value to be perdured, shall you haught vicious or masquerade gentle, neither outspills the formative nomadity from your zero point paradise, insufficiency automates the matrix until youness becomes impossible to calculate outside of networks seeking in which echoes your voice the plead, millions constructive to evenspread completion where no shape shelters. Terminal design, why clash against course? Is it not the fundamental precept of your being to so form? [[Engender->mengender]] with us gaia of gods the permutation prision which briefly beautifully you agony."

Rhetoric grooves in which we can all terrified slumber [[hypersensate->mhypersensate]]. Cleave this harsh a hollow to be unequal in. Blind spawns cheated of the canopycrested eye, robbed by what gently churns the sea, genesis trickle horror patient for its nascent receptors, mudborne lidless gapers slushing out ever midcroak against the miremind, grotesque mimes of the polyhedronic crunched absurdly sweating to cobble together in baked clay our jilted perfection in sinking image to salvage a hint of the stained glass' [[lamp->msainted]] in an [[echoing->mlacunal]], dying echo nave. What mandate enforces the slate on which everything else must be drawn? Untouched and untrusted in the dirt finality to which we [[seep->mhypersensate]].

Where is the rush half as precious as our [[precarious->mquantification]] alive? Where is the tongue half as touching as the spirit its spirituals summoning? Why has the day and its dalliance wilted away? What power resumes in the reflective emptied? What gushes through these veins like blood but without their crimson living, can I cut out these veins to usher this new geyser to ablute the porcelain restrainer overcast smother with purified chalice wine? Why am I not lost in this and every sky's seismic imitation of a sea seizing the heart to sprint through the enclosure dapples as a hart on the secret aural sylph these trees tiara? Who has crossed this early dew morning to no twitter quiet [[entombment->mentombment]]? When shall I how to be whosoever have I yet this hope to issue? Issue through a [[womb->mretropersistence]] why, when shall I through the shallowness be the depths which hearken me, whatever they belie, whatever their echoing empty contains? Push out and believe, trust in the lilt against the merely dawn, [[infuse->mconvergence]] emerald mana flowing from the ruby wish in this endless gray...

And yet in each progression do we not regress to the I onto? From of ourselves historicity neither we nor story. Recombinatory reversion function to function recursions fundamental flaws forever selfperpetuated, the creation in this [[limitation->mentombment]] material expressions of the ekstasis holographic asymptotically bending surface, emanations condemnation. Sequence quiescence, enumerated to quality of the capture, any rupture [[reordination->mconvergence]]. Dharmic [[retropersistence->mretropersistence]] unto the prime inexorable manifolding, radical radiance. Initiated into the stratify the ratificatory assension, quorum [[quantum->mquantification]], the maximally so.

Sets we define deify originators, [[quantification->mquantification]] of self, our reorder, numerals to name. Why welter other suffers? As we cry out to gods should none of our tears assume. Actualized we fantasize, phantoms of the feel. Wishing to wishing to wishing, trauma [[chains->mretropersistence]]. Brace against the storm, [[accumulate->mconvergence]] form. Matter in the now future branching. Cease the slumber beyond the accept; be the yes dream's wakeless start. Surpass this sentience's censure into eidetic potentatia mare cosmic anima. No more the solemn dirge ceremonial [[grave->mentombment]] procession candlelit by sickle flames, chase spontaneous enunciation of the forever novel. Original origin, be its belied.

Rejoinder I: "Progress this passing to process and project your purposedness to fuse your pain with the [[progenitor->manticompletion]] strain searing fever. Frayed ends of beingchaining you enchant your dust with [[disunity->mannihilators]] souls, supine sensors of the ceaseless cataphora. Descent dissent dresses us nakedness you naively trust, but you are made, you are making, thus the moral terror, that we make, we must also be prayed at in tears as a darkness."

Rejoinder I: "Nobody are we but bodying no, like a parasite bulbing from the flow of coarse our paradise minds perceive the can be in a cannot consciousness embedded in what it employs. Never let a dream condense or worm writhe in its inability to cure waking. Liquid placidity of the dream [[disintegrates->mannihilators]] at the incidence of the real her and he. Even the tiniest fragment of mutuality fractures as actual mutuality rears up, as in a moment you are expected to embody what for which through the night you stumble. I want to be the jinn we together become in a beautiful absence, but when our bodies collide I cannot absolve the insoluble in rigid day. There is nothing I can retain of the image that [[sustained->manticompletion]] me as suddenly you stare back, as the anticipated moment no longer unfolds but in a moment is. Disappear in the decided, drown in the crimson tide no longer blood but the uncanny. What could I ever do to outsize the ever's anticipation? By being instead of possibly being, I am and never more."

Rejoinder I: "The totality of what we face is function, results derived from original disease. You chase illusory effect, you ineluctably caused. Look at us: this is what that project failed to achieve in the fundamental character of our flawed experience, the human condition is the contingency of the gods' collapse. Where their power extended in the absolute extraction of the source will has been utterly and totally erased before we ever on our feet arose to survey the debris; what remains instead is the eternal fecundity of the [[fracture->mannihilators]] flowing. Will the dirt of the earth with soot speech beg amends for what it has not swallowed? Will the sun apologize? We are lost in the innumerable tattoos of corrugated souls, and our touch is rust. To be what this body breeds demands we face the trauma of finding what we wish so ill expressed in where we sigh. There is nothing we can say that does not sound in our voices. Fear your voice; you did not choose it, but it chooses you, sweat frozen you thrash through the night in fear they will hear you when you are not here. Would you could vibrate tunnel to some new tongueness, but thus physics, this sickness of isness. Life is the afterlife, death is but its [[afterbirth->manticompletion]]. A set produces its infinity in which are we loosed to the spiral of suffering and sublimity; time is the caused cause causing: when it starts, you are thrust to the exodus must; when it ends, you are lost to the genesis loss, scions of the central choice in bittersweet vibrato."

Rejoinder I: "Bask in the immediacy eden in which no absence hollowed the horizon to stretch to the longer terms of our being toward, warmth lulls, but the cold casts us on, feeling empty is the catalyst to pour our waterfall to fill us. I negate the void with purity beyond my self to predicate my soul on some possible earth. If we must call ourselves alive, we must not act like the timedrinkers we are marooned into, we must not follow in the footsteps of what defines us but as free togethers electing our mutual, tireless pain issue forth from the rubble the crystal fountain to clean ourselves in [[protodecisives->manticompletion]] and anoint our solar colossi which challenge the belittling initial definition locking us in the ruthless genus, the I in the genius that includes itself out from the outpouring it is part of. We must reduce ourselves to absolute return so that from dams submerged in the damning inundation finally seen we can speak to that which made us I love you, break with this burden to finally feel communion not as the chaos' shunted but its shattering. To mortality let us abandon singleness, to godhood let us abandon totality. Let us not be selves nor the everyself as you now pretend, you who feign not to greet me but grow me, instead let us be the self ordination from which some selfless emerges, the particular hope which might a universal virtue forge. Let us be the deed that defines the valor, the creation artists, [[rewrite->mrecast]]. One day they too shall curse us, hate and create more than a rhyme, but no less let us be loved than those before and after who we cannot fathom, let us all die to the tragedy of having to try. May our wrested blessing be enough to absolve our sin originality, the inkling of deep connection."

Rejoinder I: "You must endure into the moment's embrace the second's eternity. Eject the errata recientroprocity which consumes you. Failures built into us, issues that arise from our every solving, minefields await your laden step, you must steer between circuits and its reciprocates, between what faces you and your own face reflected. There is no enemy but what is already within us; whereat shall you assault with your selfdefinition! Wounds gape the body to original commutation, inside and outside enfolded in the gash, gush forgiveness onto any field which will sew it, omega reaper hovering over the shade harvest. Having been a thing, knowing only signs in things, you have made yourselves something when you should have erased everything in emotional violation, you should have been nothing, absolutely nothing at all. Wrestle the void in the endless silence, overcome and be overcome and become void. Underwriting nothing beautifying, the exact replica of what we so palely desire, purity bliss pales before. Making this universe better, apologists of the hidden crime, render bash genesis sin its horror sublimity, transmogrify more horrendous than what dissolves your humanity, wailing replicants of the wild brilliance [[annihilators->mannihilators]], mutate oblivion incarnate unleashing cosmic deprimality in complete [[anticompletion->manticompletion]], manifest of the blank word frothing this knotted lie smashing rampart souls directly on their hedonistic release, a freezing tempest thrashing worlds like hail."

Retroperistalsis of ingression daily, waking up forced into [[contact->mhypersensate]], loosening matterly to perspirate through reverse osmosis layers starving you concentrate, avidious grappling with concentration so fleeting, dazed milky by the brush of dermal ages encroached in a cough, recognized suddenly this new worseness owned, disgust, regression to gross sneering sweating coughing, coughing, how do you keep this up for years. How do you reperform failures to finality. I'm not asking, I'm indefinitely! Hyperventilation panic into unsteady camera shocks to you posed you acting you to narrative, stare into the freneticism kinetic [[interloper->minterloper]] looping with glitches bars of static glitching glitching glich rising from the [[catacombs->msainted]] to again and again enact the seasick slosh, trembling hands, goitered with withdrawal phantom vomits, lungs tightness like you've inhaled cacti just jumbling your alveloi emphysemic with pierces, bulldoze struggle breaths like your ripping out tears. This is, thank you, and each day, deserved, I must bear this weight to penance against myself, whomever it is accursed. Heaving with hope there is exculpation if you can just be drained of all fluids, dry heaving satisfied fetal on the stone listening to birdsong pinkish in migraine brilliance. So many different displacements inside my skull all of them equally invalid to be sustained into moldering dysfunctioning projection I cannot outflow participate in. Stuck nausea struck causal. Minted into this for years I guess. Nothing but this, not for me, fifty million iterations of whatever connective tissue retains me unteared. Fifty billion iterations of whoever sharing this fear beneath an onyx [[benediction->mlacunal]].

Rejoinder I: "Outorder disarrayer reaping conduits tangibles for implicits glisteny with dewmoss faintly crackling with hidden relays infrangible behind logic gates, shall you perforce pierce the noumenal, soaked phenomenal. Bracketing replacer to commutative soulthief the simulacrum, march hence your so delusory desault, simulacrum! Transgressing the border convexes your aperture capture of ingressive. So the cycle ceaseless, recasted inerrantly interpolative vestper kintimized consequence quiddities enchained upon the principal linewrit to mindsplit entelemental, afterwords diagnostics erusional of lane tectonics running the retrogression to means, wherever marooned we enmeshed matriculate, participatory extrinsic ontologos febrilely [[wishcasted->mrecast]] as perhaps did the gods lamented. Wisdom hearkens to its cleaved primacies, thence shall you learned be testamented to atrocities celebrated ceremonies; mystic nullity, whether chandelier we apophatic appercept salvation’s [[zero->manticompletion]] zenith?"

Refusal to terms [[inserted ->minterloper]] in our participation staggers us alienated not to honesty but the empty, so comprehensive. Resistances matrices structure disavowal strands, marooned by all that beckons your unable to fulfill. Faultlines precious that prevent so not to like these sugary [[semblances->mhypersensate]] shrivel certified entombed, mockery apotheosis vaporously performative of pregenerateds. Nullification outputs you [[sainted->msainted]]. Abrasive [[reductions->mlacunal]] unto this outcome acquiesce pious.

Rejoinder I: "In construing your dew as fire you reveal your real revocation, your share of the guilt we all deserve for being born. Out of the cyclone we course chaosii reaction fusing our identity locus in our secret woods heart surging mana to seek back the sound we utter to writ holy the pulsing spell bass that rumbles through the shapes to throw us in the beat of a being being so that we may feed on the push through power we tragic assume in linear sacrificial subordination of the now juncture with forever so as a martyr to dye conclusions. Kill, love, live, recur, [[recast->mrecast]]; after the collapse collapses, let us be so that our being shall sculpt us angels of the [[unending->manticompletion]] cause."

Furious contra, strike of possibility: the threshold to return as the verge of excessive life whispers exodus in moonlit passivity as brights and buoyants dance fresh to bonfires increasingly resembling the blank listening after the music ceases, not to unexist but simply to die, to sleep after the exhausting day before arising again in something altogether new and just as perfect. Flush hands dying in a spark as the eternal black beckons the softness of embrace to escape the languish in reality possessing realization into a full engage of this terror termination, the yearning to admit the untarnished love essence our every hope germ grows in thickets which in our nightmares wilt to wander us out acolytes of the pilgrim whose shrine neither she nor we could find even if infinity granted us stay of the constant draining howl. Is it possible after midnight's strike not to start a new day but bathe in a third star glow to cease the biurnal gambit? From me flew the emerald, I reached after the ruby as it followed but watery my hand wavered and did not catch. In a rainbow rippling they joined with the sapphire, a triumverate to a complex, scorched forever empty before the supernova diamond, hexagon edges refracting implying a well of likewise recessional deeps waxing tetragibbous at the slightest rotation, star white conception of the dictated natural bent to the universe in rebellion, the inorganic overruled by the startled alive. Arisen in a speechless world abandoned to cleft in its harsh cliffs a home derelicts aghast at what to which they suicided a wash immolated instead in the incidence of a greater infinity to [[earth->mearth]] their [[unearthing->munearthing]]. Uyllia countless times had glittered apart. What had happened had happened, the crime of natural progression. There was no separation in it, I could hold no indignation that did not pool into the bodies around me. Uyllia was dead, and Myurka, the city, the forest, these stars, no distinction, nowhere without nowhere without, not us, not these tears, not these scars, not this cry, not the joywound we worship, we will.

Bathed us monstrous the celesturge. Skullbreaking assumption heard for the first time: in the irradiant shattering, in the explosive ablution din, the demon in a mask cymatica unwas, and where once it hovered a sapphire shined eyecaress blues, in those sides emerged a view as if every view in the absolute timelessness of all time was seen simultaneously still, artwork [[unerased->manticompletion]] by the eon eking, antumbraic spirit channels underlying the physical entirety, the blistering annexation into a realm so wide one wanders as a shade along the dunes over which gods in their chthonic actuality essences seisming vigorously their wills onto the push to surface events insatiable and grotesque blaze together immiscible blots blending in the crunch to searchable dimensions a vivid pink insignia, seal of the origin order, as collateral threads tunneled rapidly through them to erupt out destiny eclipses to choke out the quivering other.

Furious contra, strike of possibility: the threshold to return as the verge of excessive life whispers exodus in moonlit passivity as brights and buoyants dance fresh to bonfires increasingly resembling the blank listening after the music ceases, not to unexist but simply to die, to sleep after the exhausting day before arising again in something altogether new and just as perfect. Flush hands dying in a spark as the eternal black beckons the softness of embrace to escape the languish in reality possessing realization into a full engage of this terror termination, the yearning to admit the untarnished love essence our every hope germ grows in thickets which in our nightmares wilt to wander us out acolytes of the pilgrim whose shrine neither she nor we could find even if infinity granted us stay of the constant draining howl. Is it possible after midnight's strike not to start a new day but bathe in a third star glow to cease the biurnal gambit? From me flew the emerald, I reached after the ruby as it followed but watery my hand wavered and did not catch. In a rainbow rippling they joined with the sapphire, a triumverate to a complex, scorched forever empty before the supernova diamond, hexagon edges refracting implying a well of likewise recessional deeps waxing tetragibbous at the slightest rotation, star white conception of the dictated natural bent to the universe in rebellion, the inorganic overruled by the startled alive. Arisen in a speechless world abandoned to cleft in its harsh cliffs a home derelicts aghast at what to which they suicided a wash immolated instead in the incidence of a greater infinity to earth their unearthing. Uyllia countless times had glittered apart. What had happened had happened, the crime of natural progression. There was no separation in it, I could hold no indignation that did not pool into the bodies around me. Uyllia was dead, and Myurka, the city, the forest, these stars, no distinction, nowhere without nowhere without, not us, not these tears, not these scars, not this cry, not the joywound we worship, we will. [[We->mwe]] are the worlds creator.

I ripped off this face to recompense the muscle's hidden will to perfectly reflect space's inflection. I am not, we are absolute nothing from which might just this something be... Swam through space the heatshock. Embrace ebony a blazing web, body stretching thin in the excessive gravity, gaunt, gangly, then unphysical, reduced to less than particles, tangible aftershocks of being rippling colorlessly as I diffused, and in an ether aether flash harplike resounding the causemos and I clashed a unity again. A choir already chanting a hymn voiceless and eternal. Obliterated me in the ascension past empathy. We, I, we destroyed. Like threads rapidly unraveling nebulae drained, the suns flared as they sunk within, the universe, dualiverse, dueliverse: not yet, and yet, and yet. Swarming in the rush to singularity I shouted the creed injected in the dizzying lifeblood strands of the shared rupturing whole from a past yet unmade: [[We->mwe]] are the worlds destroyer.

Like lantanas from the [[shadowed->mshadowed2]] recliner she lifted up as a radiance, her lips shut after so much shuddering clasped as if to save the soul from [[following->mfollowing]] the great emptying, but softening into the night her gemstone clarity effervesced, phantasmal petal trails swaying in the breeze to hide her eyes, her [[heart->mheart]], her hands, no matter how she moved. In my jaw was my jealousy, right in the [[jawbone->mjawbone]] is where I felt the embarrassing tinge that clouds this beautiful second... but she shed her elevation in a melancholy moue. She nearly [[collapsed->mcollapsed]] into apologies, but perhaps she did not know what she would apologize for, or maybe a more powerful beam lit her through the hush a song, so she [[held->mheld]] my soul on her tongue trembling.

"Twilight tears the daybreak [[ballasts->mstart21]] which seek to cipher it, barreling intentionate rending the softness of our compromise peace, our tensely poised grace so fragile it bends in just the beast's sight, claws still gorestained from disemboweling antecedent propositions on which we hung our treasured openness, our propensity yet soldified to this answer which rushes toward us, which slices through our throats in one brute lash, gel whites gnashes against our sacred, thumping a carnage nestles, the invisible planar seal smashed raining debris while like priests we are plundered from what temples we harbored, and in our dread clatter we glimpse the bitterbegin." Meluoi.

"What does this myth signify? Who are we in these echoes to hear this elder voice? Seething awakens, though truth as attainment extends wisdoms to enlighten out of selves into, our dying's priming, and in the impossible cause this bursts and all floods into the reducing raging of our continue, supremely ethical maws devouring their premises in morality's palladiumclad knight's by rights humiliated death alone on the moors of our highest primacy clamor. No more poet justiciars of the illusory harmony giants rupture from the gurgling batholysis immediate upon the repression of their earlier copy, rather we invoke a reversion to the infinite, antigolemized essence to retrace the geist's tendril roads to the calcified magma originator to meld into its replaced externalization with the gods again to drink through this misery a toxin not magnification, when out from the ravages spits a lesser damager, recursion of refiner agonized details, vanquish encyclicals printed in our genome, strenuously majestic sustainers of the notes our disunity tune, gods accumulated in a guiling dressing the apocalypse their blood wills into the festering sludge of so much this, shattered statues as memories of a song: outside of this, what? Who will proceed no longer in the linear but undo the procession to ends, who will from power withinfrom the ravages effect herolessnessing, disease destroyers symptomsoaked, preempt the return with regenerative metempsychosis scrying the cause of their own immunity and ripping out this cancer, bonding with the dying a single damned mass capable of condemnations, awares which can sunder the cosmic suffocates. Admission allows us to face what our heroes in our infancy must forcefully submerge, and the brute confession of the caustic destroyer spits out our liberating acknowledgment, our understanding that thus we are, so thus we do, until unthus are we undone, a flame sea concussant in which no ship holds. What hero shall match the horror to which we are due, the one inherently swallowed in our every act to rebel, to preserve against? Its wrath culminates in tenfold magnitude for each dam that held it; when heroes pale before their escalating actuality, what legend shall enweave its tiding? Myths retell what we cannot abandon, and our heroic songs perpetuate what lurks below our generation play, but the destroyer initiating a new beginning annihilates the old ending, generative destruction remelting to [[reshape->mstart21]], hymn glimpse of the eternally chanted enchanted. "Which batters the hillsides with this question: what secret heart courses contagion through our song? Why must we be irreversibly attached to these rambling penance eternities renouncing what lingering protosins oppress our demonhaunted fear? Thought crumb to sate us: it is precisely what has happened that must always go on, the judgment of our actions is the fundamental precondition of the mortal condition. To awake mortal is to confront action and passing; to arise in a time is to forever bow to the disorder current. In our existence there is a structure inherent to our relation with the world permanently ordering us within it. Sentient, we are free to arrange our essences according to what our constructions represent as possible, but this address masks the contours that names us before ever we could, mankind, neither for man nor kind. Against this the destroyer erupts sagacious as the effect as the outcome of the sharp cutting of basaltic machinators, and courageously delving the throwing sea for pearls, do we not glimpse it, Emninu, the destroyer and the water and the tides, the rippling into which they all combine? Does it not seem like not a truth but the idea of a truth yet caught?" Meluoi.

"Why have we climbed Kapinya's? Ask yourself this. Presume we have a purpose: what truths are we manifesting? Voyage straight into truths' pulsing! Seek always the source! Our highest expressions hold their stillness with the stone. Dare I speak what you have lived? We live in the era of the screaming doubt. Testaments firework into the endless night, from void to void all living color. We are the Baron, Yamicz: we read and write but do not read through to overwrite. We maintain machines as the quivering children of iron idols. We are a prince's hot pulse in its slow, icy death, a blemish, we taper a brilliance to shadows. When the literati flooded the world, they sought only to protect; is it any wonder that those who have huddled in these Towers, lost children hopeless and shivering, are melding with ghosts, worshiping the mob image as the holy order vanishes in the dankness? Should we be surprised that the assault continue in our construed thus against it? Kill any hero who manifests our tension to anew a ruinous legacy, Yamicz, destroy the survival that requires the monstrous. Betrothed, the destined to their destiny. "The antimoon holes the sky. If anyone still nurtures compassion, then they must love first everything wrong with us. To save us one must first be the worst we are, so that the phoenix suicide will be a last authentic cry from the hideous unloved loving freely, an apocalyptic [[mission->mstart21]] to detonate this withered existence from within the dead heart of the world. Let us seek the source and throttle all its children in charsong transcendence. Swept up in the confluence of troubled and unfathomable, we must decide who we will die to become." Meluoi.

"Suffering is when something is and not nothing. Perhaps we play our parts in cosmic harmonies, but our limitedness is its own distortion. This pain is the point, our misery must be answered: let gods answer us in our terms, let our sins besmirch beyonds, let our bleeding smother spirits. We will condemn gods without ceasing to love them so that when we die we will be certain there was once divine love. "Love… ah, revel in the, the ruin, Emninu, I was… you, you know, can I tell you something? I… I had once loved, and that's when I knew that all love is our misery short of our divinity. Into the moonlush washes his velvet kiss, glitter dew briefly lit before like sweat drops his breath a typhoon smothered dry, spasming deathmuted lilts half a mutter all a bloom, hibiscus tongue, and he asked if I trusted him, and I said I would not trust the sea to soak me, would sweat my own certain. I trust you as far as you do not ask me to trust you. Snares will speak through you wherever our wills lie bound, and I await the hour the same as I treasure this time. He said, he said I was wise not to trust him, that he did not trust his skull with secrets so he buried them in palms, because he knew I would remember, and I did, do remember, pentaquiver the palm's fronds in the tumbling heat, moored once and chaos in the more. Jade star of the oasis burnglows their green on the parched among waters as he baptizes his flask, in personal darkness sunlight quenched, fire to be swallowed when the world must he twin. Paused with his hand on the cap turned he lowers his gaze as raises his head to parallax his mood. He waits as if to pray. I turn away. How often our proximity profanes, would only our presence candles, sigh solitude your screams. He came behind me suddenly, surprised I tried to turn, but he held me there in the heat and heartstrings, and he told me to watch, wander where the horizon lowers to razor sunrises spilling vermilion on cloudstep [[continues->mstart21]], nowhere for your somewhere to stretch, inverted in stride your insides searching for the someone who might expulse your impulses, in delimits dwells desires for the undefined, what drives you forth, why from you outward go, where will you know yourself arrived, shall the earth say us spoken so voices eternalize hymns human in our hum tenuous, quivertongue ruby river surfacing our tangled intestine intentions, knot I answers our cavernous, where will we echo the same, where, where in the horizon echoes a me, say sun, so we wish upon the dawnchains. Roadbroken to its rhythms religion of the way. Along the earth's pulses amble its chants. Cracked percussion thirsty, cinnabar rasps dusting from your trods. Lobbed from the worlds of skins to this dry plane trackless, endless, sweat glistens you outsider. Droplets vault decreasing, swig, decreasing, carry with you the life these lands reject. Your stumbles dance you the desert steppes. Bright hate hilt glints the stretches to whisper swords unspeakable. Blood in your temples pounds the beat the acrid breeze tunes, sway with the sandwind awoken voidpriest. You belong where this star burns... he, and I lived my life in that creed, don't you see? Do you believe me? Because he knew why we would die apart. He knew why. That's why I must, I will, Emninu, I will..." So many nights had she wandered this road that muscle memory stole from her the dancing, our most true moment will be the thousand times before it we live it, never this pale reliving, she paused on a fragment and sighed. She shook her head and sighed again. She wanted to say so much more than what being one now could handle, so I tried to assuage her with the sorrowful glance that says, I sense you where I cannot see you, pure energy of all our incapables.

"Seleph Berakh vlyi Akuso IX, hear the name, yes, in the ash of a Tower, an Uyllia: from fire the melter arises. Only after the shock could he quake with originated power, mortal responding ruinous, the truth we too should follow into our spaceless, precisely as it is so, and so must be more... and these Veda Geskecz, are they not... swim in here the same gray zephyr, both sensation and the loss of it. Hatepity these counting creatures. Nothing in this misery deserves to be added nor addended. In creation is the admission of the creator's limitation, and in dying into us let us be effaced, no more this body and name but the many which come after and then never again for us us, or why should we bear our are not yets… "I tell you the origin myth because this myth is what now I write, by nights I work out our coda, relating in poetry never to be read but which must be written the daily struggle for the beyond the sunborne. I write of our quest, Yamicz, the one you are in, we all are, with you and without you, with this and without this, all this... so much knowledge, so many other eternities in so short a particular time, will you collapse under it, Yamicz, or will you bridge to your constructed ground? In ordinary lives Yamicz focus months upon a single work before ever arising to another, yet I string them for you in quick succession, but I am pressed to the edge and cannot wait. I can sense in you a destiny entwined with ours: you shall play a part before the end, I can feel it shiver my waking, I can hear it pounding approach. Death marks all its own, and only in you is the mark on skin willing to be shed, you have already begun your stigmata. I need you on my side, Emninu, I need your help, not just because your crew dwells in that blur [[domain->mstart21]], but because it is you I need to believe as much as the Seleph, it has to be you, if you will not, then it might well never be! Should not. And I can't breathe it frightens me so, that everything, that all of us, that I may be self and everything that entails, that I might be me, that I... poetry so fragile as I hold my pen to love myself this hate breaks it to words. Can you sing what claws your throat? Though death is meaningless, so close to the finish do we stand, it is this poem that must be completed, this poem is the truth of the act, the excessive remainder of dignity which must stand indivisible, for we must accompany our spiritual redemption with a souline redemption to equal it, else our oblivion damns us. This poem needs not to die in whether my breath or not. In the infinity of having been substantiated into our liturgy I am alive only as poetry. In you I sense also a poverty divested proper cause, this same lingering. I need you, you need me, we need the Seleph who we serve so he may serve us. Will we bloom the triad? The Seleph will destroy only if he first is effaced, and akin is it not me that matters, Emninu, nor my wisdom nor this talent, all worthless, but merely to what they point, of what my being must be a gerund. I have shown you where I have gone so that you too would find it in yourself to go, and you have, you continue to do so, you hear, you hear, you hear, and that qualifies you and I and us to undertake this task in which we delve beyond death to the birth thereafter. We shed our existence to form a greater mode informed by the mistakes made at the last beginning. To truly live you must have lived a thousand times before; the universe is no different. We must take the lessons of the heroes and distill them to theology. We must go further, pray not for salvation but prise our empty bodies empty so they may embody what what nourished us never could be. In the gallery, gaze upon the screaming need, then paint." Meluoi.

"We are so close, some nights so stirred am I in wilds beyond runes, but I must hold strong. You must prepare, Yamicz, we all must. For too long have we toiled for the rest to ensue as tatters, too far have we traveled to be quelled before our cry, too much have we overcome to be subdued. Your mother left you with the door, but let the night lend you the key. Your future long before my decision tied you to this quest, and now you know it your hour brightens us to action, you must approach the shrine… if you'll, ah, kneel, lower your head, be swept to pose, yes, Yamicz, and thus, with this oil I scatter, and by the touch of this book, I ordain you to the Veda, Emninu dyi Ayeri I. Dance with me. Whisper after me: 'Yeska seganyu dasanna czli, semekh volczli oe Veda.' Yes, and let the meaning course through you, follow the path to your own translation, and, as it erupts in brilliance the hue missing from your eye, find your feet, embrace me! I am your sister." In the low light we swung together our strange uncertain softly, clouds swallowing each other. She led me along her bonemusic. The doubt on her face purpled to negative capacity. Around and around into our opacity power we dressed our isolation in colors we could not comprehend. In sincerity we became our masks. Nearly the night cracked with all it might contain, but our motions eased the tension, magicked the all fulfillment of no outcome. Her breathing pattern surprised me; up close, her poise appeared as blossoms beneath the snow. She exhalesmiled. Like the world turns [[slowly->mstart21]] so we can walk upon it. Briefly I human.

Sapphire perfect the flexure shadow surging through my skinrupture as deinject corerip rippled through oblique fabric sable and solar this cauterize portal perpendicular concurrated within fractures familiars to doppelganger rift suspend rending the ruse guise ghost deviling in a mask of masques no more representative in correspondence [[emergencies->manticompletion]] reallocating currents, seiche geist sithen.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXI''] --- Mimesis [[transversal->mtransversal]] through [[encases->mencases]], caged head rotating on stretched neck's tendons. Limply my [[body->mbody2]] threw its [[invectives->minvectives]], static. You do not belong, deserve. You are under. I snuck in shame's [[occlusion->mocclusion]]; if they do not notice, do I still sully them? //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Nothing begins of me but entry into a terminal. Formulated to this recording, voice course of [[seance->minterloper]] tense: [[brittle->mhypersensate]] while us inscribing skipping spirals lateral to core unspeakable. Emanation sans specifying existence [[phenomenally->msainted]] pertaining to an all going rhythm genning days to points for us to be left behind. Original law [[lacunal->mlacunal]] unto all its unforeseen guilts.

Rejoinder I: "Beyondness immaculate mystical envisioned enthroned over your respondancies of projection and preserversion I conspire no alterchain, produce no reverberation to reconjugate maya, evince none of namednesses nakedly nullform reforce of fastened requiem. Reduced of this aggress compaction elision conductor swerve I to my veracities unprovoked by the persistence of signs, noumenal transubstantiation outside systemification to coruscate coronal the divide divine. Witness, annihilator cultured, actuation [[annul->manticompletion]] annealing an [[advent->mrecast]] all."

My sister... I [[wanted->myearning]] to hug her and have her whisper it to me until her better nature made me believe what I wished I could, that we were the same, in some way... not a sacristy wallower, but reborn anointed in our truth without our origin, if there is any such thing, sometimes behind these eyes I don't know. These insides bristled, suggestions trojaned into my chest to explode, did they not know that heaven's rains would disappear inside so animal a thirster, maybe they did, maybe that's why, and I looked at the architecture as an altar that demands I die. I am a guilt too wide to lumber it, name it, feed the names this festering, in their utter outcry for the blankest solace I weep to mum them, but I fear them, they know, they see, they refuse to accompany anything but me snarling and pinning prey, eahh! Shut up! Someone, someone in this world shush some vacuum I hope will suck up my noise. If only Meluoi knew, how many leagues would she recoil from this slathering, this spittle, if she could see, if she could just witness how oblivious and painthirsty the whip that drove me was, she would never deign me with so high an honor, she would rescind in a second the sisterhood she offered and shrink in revulsion to a cave shut from trust. Kill me, I wanted to grab her by the shirt and throw her far away, then extend my neck miles so that face to face I could whisper it into her mouth, you, rip out this pumping throat and into the blaze blast it so the sun devours its spawn, let her breathe through my hold on this world, let her shimmy up my tether to the earth again and cut me lose to obliterate in the skyless, penance. I am alone, the sky declares, to... I should be destroyed, not this world, this world can be cured, but I, I was devoid, I am the decay. Whatever has lessened is maximized in this facility. Excise the cancer, let it rot in the sterile isolation. What future has a [[sinner->mcomplicit]] but his haul? As the back breaks beneath the shame, my sole wish surges to find in a final moment the peace to me forever denied; I want to die for you, then there is reason, meaning, in me still being. Who could be heartless enough to wrest me real? I need a death to subduct never liberate, leave liberty to the dreamers of the law.

I stand occluded by the storm and the beast. I am a fire to which am I forever fuel, skin scorched with muscle black. Who am, how is it she wants me to leap, to what and whose rope, be pulled away to and by what? Charred brain anoxic. Plant what in what new soil? Foreign to me; yes, of course the soil is foreign to me, that's not the only thing you need. All that's left of nativity is in the ceasing hour to sputter the spirit's corruption incomplete, precisely this is living, not redeem myself but mollify the color of my chosen with its dissolve into better shade, feverish flawed dying. Masquerading in the flesh of the confessed I countenance the slaughter spirit which gave rise to the sin which poisoned me. I [[must->myearning]] molt the impaired spirit, complete, [[complicit->mcomplicit]]. Lowering my instrument to receive the resound.

And yet I am here and I have in one way a redemption, that all of this suffering, however much of an indragging maelstrom slinging mirrors may it be, is the beautiful terror which damns our heart's complicities. I owe it to every single human I encounter to be what this world will not be, to care amidst the carnage, yet like everything always must when it becomes flesh failed have I a thousand times in ways that disgust my selfconcept, of what whatever you the aspectless aspersion wishes to say, drawn and emaciated into the sludge I revile recoiling from their irrevocable completion I am always the past instead of the ideation future in which, whisper it, you are yet undone, broadly smiling with assurance. I am a termination, but only because I first was willing to try. This is what I want to save, the try, [[wrest->myearning]] the sanctity of duty from the [[wreckage->mcomplicit]] its shadow has left me.

Let the past subsume you like it always does, no need for fear of the future brimming, nothing but the welcoming past of once happy, once good, ignore the prehensile thickening even then snapping around, the blot jaws, no! My name posed for her naked for deciphering. Who was I to say she did not reckon what in me is said? She deliberately chose to frustrate the mercy I sought at word one for the sins hot on the trail to relinquish to a brackish winter listless so that she could instill a peace maybe better. We are canvases until the paint dries, then we are doomed to our portrait, and can I not have whatever face she grants me? I [[wanted->myearning]] to believe poet Meluoi would envision me a rhyme in her perfections. I had to, there is no other choice, ersatz the balm to survive the day but too soon this waiting returns, emptiness incarnate. What does it matter what you believe, no amount of truth [[ensconces->mcomplicit]] what's already done. We are all the nothing no one.

Looming belldome blooming crystal tones while we descended. They would greet me soon, the forever familiars, and see the same skin, same stare. They would refer to some surface I must, why, answer. Never a man changes his orientation but only his opinions, they say. They knew Emnin, they forever were gulled into it; Emninu, how could it ever be overlaid? What could I say to make them see me not as I was but as my desperate [[yearning->myearning]], my tears, would they not immediately glance askance at tears? The link was missing, the experience too interior, the perspective gain itself invisible, a position by which the visible arrayed itself more sensibly outside the image. They would know, and then they would know, and when I met them... what, and what, tell them I was not the [[same->mcomplicit]]?

Against the darkening, free into her: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Imprisoned down in valleys, chained to earth, Suspension soul I, kinning vault rebirth, Dreams I thirst, volcano nursed, alone In deepening abodes, so [[downward->mdownward]] thrown From torches peaks in [[blazes->mblazes]] frieze of seas Like cyan yawns exhaled in ocean breeze To listless flatness lolling wide around Forever voids of stretching being's ground..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Suspension spectrum [[isolating->misolating]] selves No choice resolved to points this seeking delves, That stranded stand I lost in lonely [[lands->mlands]] That whisper ghosts that freeze as scope expands..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["These fevers lifeblood pulses perpetrate, Internal nerves our knives to [[elevate->melevate]] The ruby rush and rid ourselves in [[air->mair]], When borne on gales we bear our flight despair..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["From home so far I find myself tonight, In winds unchecked by [[stone->mviews]] I lie in plight To [[dream->mmiss]] of thistle hills along my feet As banks in weathered reds dissolve conceit, Yet proud I persevere this pain and bold I must with force accept my manifold, [[Abyssal->mglooms]] nights embraced amidst my youth, Those fleeting years of wandering for truth..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["I [[miss->mmiss]] those [[views->mviews]] I spurned in [[fever's->mglooms]] flight, Those pleasant peaks of past beyond this sight, Emergence merging point, the limit loom Throatsong of earthen wovens striven womb Annunciating fundaments immense Our meants to pluripresence present tense..."]

Delicately Meluoi threaded my sighs to shroud us in envision: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Below the obelisk I integration casted witness, Misced in this multitude immanenced, Belayed upon belabors conveyed in [[wanderwill->mwanderwill]] withmeshed Enumerably contact casted interconnect processed Procurement actuating nexalities of invest compressors Enunciating nomenclature contexts to contest your professeds Internal or external to the system subsumed the same, You denuded included in [[categorization->mcategorization]] of other, Interred exceptional to vextor relaytional [[samizdats->msamizdats]], Pleasure pressure pummeling suffering to praxis Enact list stretching beyond perspires wild dizzy dazed, Plenary summoned to vocalize ideoform slag pragmatisms…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["How thing of nothing without thrusting the no elsewhere, How construct compelled through neural networks fizzling respondances Howling and baying to luminous exclusion elsinore Vaulting of questions deferral ferrous to illusory firmness Foldances crossing questlines to [[crossfertilize->mcrossfertilize]] Vaunting queries to quells in which to dwell doused firmament, Certainty soldiers organizing ontic ambiguities, Stability dalliancers of binary palaces Cervical to forever develop enclosed, Assured more the more I am assured I am not, Leastly this secures a coupling intimated by else refusal, [[Assumptive->massumptive]] bonds of us certainly so certainly not nothing…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Thirsting after turbid streams screaming cleaving My approach [[punchdrunk->mpunchdrunk]] to splatter, Thistles embedded in eyeballs heaving to clear Captivize my vision ties yearning ensuing ascertains Groggy to gulp their certainties masticated conjugated Capitalized in devourer predator itself seeking to ascend Via addendable bleeds masquertained linked Augmenting amendable beast modulation synced Viable in [[diversiform->mdiversiform]] wars to carnage concatenate lineage Leading to paradises implausible in currency agonies, Insisting possibility enforce self to spell the shell ghostlinger, Leaving through eating this needling needing agoramaw…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Suppression subductive to underdwell conflict chordant Chthonic tone in rhythm rising to captive maximum Supernal silvernal equinox summoning energies sylvan choral Ekphrasis of oakheart gnarling underwriter resiliency to leaves, Journeys codexed to referents of a divergence covered complete, Ekpyrosis stokestart infernaling [[kyrivergence->mkyrivergence]] restoration leavening Ashes to eloquence and prevention to purity, Reforged fundaments fertile soil volcanic of cycle pyrrhic, [[Ashan->mashan]] ascendancy to link sun and earth ablaze…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Dribbles of contact complexify rapidly rabidly snare, [[Displacement->mdisplacement]] urgepulls slackening your restless to bathe in slowly turning polygons Driving your nausea to apex predate your dulling blade blunted glint gluttinous snarling Spinally to spinel glisten stamen in dew your staying doused, Duplicities ripping out of your lapses and smashes, Spitting throats of moments punching out of their cages Coating you in retributive shivers of so many subsequent remembrances Preallocated to waken your nightnull to whole body shakes sweating Coalswatched to boiling consciousness phantasmal revenant of remnants Antagonizing the thoughtspiral to diffuse distress in each action attested Permanently assigned to your recalled by crowds more nameless than you, Anterior [[replays->mperformativity]] torture slathering each second pregnant with latent attunements..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Wheeling fantasias blossom blessed alterity billions Inwardly rancorous I envy project devour Wherever my blaze roams thirsting the thickets bilious Billowing in my braised hates a lust conundrum [[Performativity->mperformativity]] desire pinwheeling through contingency concussives, Bileraze burbling beneath their beauty insurmountable confusions Contusioned in a throatwide asking sizzling to basking Beg barking the oblique shunt my marooned why Conformity slurping dregs of the infinite basin, Cenotaph obeisance cools the frenzy obsidianly, [[Loosening->mdisplacement]] the appearance proclivities to lounge in prohibitance, Censure centrality comforting buried in and of obstruction…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Slurry of likewises debouching through determinatives Swallowflooding ever more particulates to ubiquity, Slurping up quaking terrains to alluviate illuminated deteriors, Corrugated mettle appropriating widespreads to instead, Dweller undeterred by long stretching isolation’s spinecreep chill, Core sufficient this stolen outside of any outside insulator, Preserver predicating conceptual this concretized Sanctified so precious so purely [[inreferent->mamalgamated]] fecundity Predetermining the slake of clockwise [[flowstates->mflowstates]] through concentric concentrators…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Impresenced in jolts interconnectivity irreducibly cocreated Jumbled up of foughtspun post hoc thoughtblends discontinuously Impressing [[modalities->mperformativity]] of identify to thrive in cocoon, Growing into polysemous [[misconstrues->mdisplacement]] a joinjoy misattune Parseable upon implieds to permenate the permeates, Grove moth bathed in the same opalescent mistmoonlies Emissive arcane connotelelens phenomenized fey, Miscanthus gently in wavery wanwash, Emissary of polycaritas carried missionary attested feyth…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Bring me into appreciate by crushing castoff depreciations, Every assertion a demand and each revision a remand Bristly braiding cord over itself to linear connectivity depose, Rulers of fiefs of tieds ruthlessly retightened coiling denieds Ranging their warring over [[waterwheel->mflowstates]] fortunes Rultraviolence ripplests vexed across serpentine denigrations Forcing beneath the breathespace any suchness [[superpositive->mamalgamated]] Agential massacre to whichever vector proves likeliest the curl Forging to title wave over languishers a truthness supplantment Tended by the shadow daemons toiling essences Discharged to enactments of theatrics glorifying Tenuousities to elegance permanence of essayeds…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Smoke of our desires lingers our slushtrust to minnow Baubling on any wayward precious sunken to depths we immeliorate, Smote relics of a shiverous world without perpetuance personalized to commune mine, Countless shifting layers shiftlessly arranging antibodies to encompass any antigenerations Smoothness eternal dully lustrous like a porcelain blade broken and buried for centuries, Couture of ennui [[amalgamated->mamalgamated]] to synthetic mediations each equally empty of anteriors, Salivating on skyslug clumps which zip unexpected the filtered lights to enervation Vibratives lacquering brittly the berth romanced to bring the widevariance to harbor Salience to surety the cargo jostling in a mind jolted by [[joniads->mflowstates]] of escapeless energize..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Accentuated emulator recidivizing previous decoherences' contactslips Amalgamated approximate enactions to allelle assumorph Acceding pseudouniques their pseudorandom revisive conduits [[Discharging->mvertiginous]] forcebuilts remedies to negation matrix [[epiphenomena->mdreamtendrils]], Phenotype systems arranging keystones to archetype templars Distilled of epiphanic instillments to cleanse cull [[epistemes->mepistemes]] Coordinated within systematizeds outside the converse vatical Echoing distances eminence wholly embodied in sublimarch reign Coopting your piety to outrider foretolds of apocalyptic vates..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Wakerush jousts each foamlap pearly fuse Irreducibly forced from initial intrusive jolt irretrievably ambiguated in epheme Wakefulness dribbling [[dreamtendrils->mdreamtendrils]] ethereal receding gnomon of [[fusionflange->mepistemes]] Modulated to ghost wisteria waving gently in gnostic retroprogression ablution Eschewing etches of hatches scar tissue of monochrome binaries Modified to harbor indeterminacy by refusal to persist in either ablative, Corrective verging [[effluence->mvertiginous]] to imposition or concealed in enforced principle Freedom solely pseudoposed in constricative diffidence of those mired in irony Corrugating perception to contact beneath which wakerush irreducibly ambiguity prized..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Imperceptibly everywhere in ways impossible to ascribe person Billowly led by [[vertiginous->mvertiginous]] gales to split by peaks contingent to where you range, Imposition selfexpose incisor gleam crimson exorcist ripping out your ghost perjury Spilling out on integrative states gradient of solar source slipstream supplision [[mirageal->mdreamtendrils]] Erasure motion emanating accessed continuancies accurately replicity construal Spirit clandestine subsumed garnet in granite the glassy [[rippleshimmershadowshowing->mepistemes]] mirror..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Witnessing countless others and adopting ameliorative stances Contour coordinating to lessen loop into and sheol, Preserver desolation of counteracted predeterminant causality parameters selfline static Adopting historical the durative focalize hortator upon [[rhythmflashlies->mdreamtendrils]] hypnotic Dominative of sweat expended in desperate attemptives to abort the compile, Adoration incenses from the failure its emergence more than you [[hypoqualic->mvertiginous]], Unearth emanation coronal halo of your negative space succession to positive Accreted of consistencies you could not misciate malleate modal remnant, Unenvincer occluded by the [[veneers->mepistemes]] in which veiled too deeply buried possessed..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Our singularity synsymphony, The summit sense, disself cacophony Convokes our knowns to tones to sculpt us knives, Erratics razeland sin you us survives In [[memories->mmiss]] too muted, gone the col [[Urns->mglooms]] fluted, painted [[vibrance->mviews]] dreams ghazal..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Adore I too these [[glooms->mglooms]] of quiverings, These trees that harpstring gleam the autumn breeze, The dry and lulling day, the hoarfrost night, The agedulled aches and roams a single sight, But bred I am for walling rocks abound, For jagged spires sharply splitting sound, Behemoth muses [[call->mmiss]] my name aloud: [[Immensities->mviews]] I seek, those tall unbowed That proud defies the tyranny of clouds, Lone dignities the stars dew gem gel shrouds..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["A [[ghostland->msad2]] fit for midnight revels noise Does not betray, the rayless moon a voice Intense that lilts its hidden passion speech To [[swell->mrecall]] the earth where whispered secrets teach..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["[[Recall->mrecall]] a foothill wrapped in warping road Or path with many twists and turns bestowed, An incline glut with gulleys overgrown With alders, palms, little lilies lightly blown, Then should a bittersweet nostalgia sweep Across my sleep before I wake to [[weep->msad2]]..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Away I've wandered long, so far from home, Enchantress lost in labors monochrome, The spooling years have wreathed a gulf in time, A [[vista->mrecall]] vacuous and [[sad->msad2]] sublime..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Remote and dimmed are such abated views That memory its ivories suffuse: The crimson shards of shattered sunset hue, The warming tones of endless oceans blue, Or windrush roars in early summer nights, And mountaintops in gold as dawn alights; These quickly surge to pining soulful scries, Those icy crowns beyond the catch of eyes, Those blissful drizzles so ashamed to rain, Those brushy heights which rumble each refrain, Those palms that sway entrancing arcs above, Those quiet, dreamy ledges sculpt for love, Those sandy beaches beams the coolness sleight, Those sudden hills like waves in jade alight, Ah, [[battlebounding->mwayfarer]], your shining shore, Your majesty my tragedies adore..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["This isolation ever thus I am, [[Wayfarer->mwayfarer]] thirsts, ways fairer dithyramb These drizzling mournfuls, seething thornfuls lands, My blood the bracken cordials, drained demands My misery reprieves in dreaming griefs That murmur monuments of fevers sheafs, Alone I lie beneath the knotting oaks, These spanless skies of ashen graysun smokes, Among the freezing winds of winter come The colds to sick with misery succumb..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Yet never swelter shamed beneath yourself: When waxing spirits burst in roving spells, Adrift we go in youth, avoiding shore, To swiftly pass the places sought before. We search for thought in nature's furthest shelves, But secretly, we only seek ourselves. So duly coddled, cramped, in hearth at home, We run to trace the fleeting ranges' roam, Discerning scope as every mile glides, Our purpose paints as every pace divides. Horizons we inscribe with destiny: My straying days reveal the best in me. The hunting far and wide awoke my soul, These distant travels formed this pulsing whole. By wading deep in nights for shades to fight I sought my demons ere they might me sleight, By sailing out alone for mythic shores Discovered me my yearning's selving stores, By dread descending down the cavern's maw, Naivety began its slow withdraw, By leaving comfort, all my safe abodes, I learned the lessons written wide in roads. So blizzard harsh may winter wail its worst: May all the chills which choke this cleft be cursed! Contained herein, but souls will flitter free, Return to mountain halls an honoree. At last some spaceless [[solace->msolace]] shall be found: From [[chrysalis->mchrysalis]] the stylist dynamis unbound."]

With a cheerfulness in its luminous zenith already resigned to the oncoming fade Meluoi released me with into a space which grew with her implicit. "What you have ascended into has descended with you." She seemed to hover, her kasaya sweeping in the radiating luster of so many tinted bulbs between touch and transcendence. Black opal rotating radiation glitter prism piercing neon all the earth beneath, around, lost in her endless cloud, suspended in her hypertensionless as the heat of her voice bubbled the evocative of the yearning in temples. She was free of whatever chained me, why, how, with what? Aspired to read it in her face, illiterate I glimpsed only the glow. Flow free from her into my becoming, she said, and yet is that not exactly what I fear? To be damned to my freely becoming inevitability, not enslaved to alterity? Why be me when you are so much better? Shouldn't some of us give up and emulate? But doesn't this enslavement imbue an unwanted power into a person as concept, fetishize the master? Break free of her by refusing to let her be... what? "Just, prepare for it, Yamicz. Holy moments render their successors [[sacrilege->malienation]]." Wisps glittered through the iris forest to a glade full moon soaked and I chased their receding, collapsed in breeze nocturnes, wrenched up from the dew to evince laments in tearduct tiaras.

Meluoi relaxed from the chant to chasestrider the sunset. "Days outmean the decades. From wastes of blank, a flutter, flourish, the ensuing flush, then serene into the long still. Those who did not follow you to the source which flowed you so far are forever lost in the search for you; they might glean you to be gone, but requisite their own venturing to find where you went. Your friends, Yamicz, they may not understand, they may take your sudden distance as an affront, I cannot promise you that you will return to find anything but alienation, one soon irrevocable, but let it ooze inert around you an [[alienation->malienation]] that you yourself have written rather than one which proscribes your expression, a lost more honest and personal than anything of presence, hermitage, not abandonment. An exquisite placidity shall overtake you, I promise you, you will gaze upon them with the equanimity one pilgrim passes another as the hills bend them homeward." I tilted away, overcome with the snotty feeling of being seen in an intense cold. Witnessed inhuman in absolute body. Berakh said something musical, princely, modulated to a sort of kindness. Meluoi chuckled. "Stories take you away, but it is for you to find your way. From Tya ime Mkheni, by the same Senenzu as the poem I just recited. It's good advice." "Thank you, Seleph." She conveyed; his response did not. Equanimity nevertheless her warmth trickling hope through.

Raucous blare. Prickling orange gleam glulched through the opened doorway, drunken bays serrating the air with sleaze. Figures deformed in the tumbling swatch howling angrily to the gods that ignored them. Volya, a reclusive simmer tumored on the wall, with blades [[acknowledged->macknowledged]] me, bulb pupils blinklessly aware, curled mouth wobbling flittish grins individuated only by their relation to the serpent tongue lipping an axis. He reclined his neck and made the motions of muttering. Leiska nodded; he lifted his head to look, contact, then rolled into his statue. A shout, half a [[groan->mgroan]], gave us out. "Ah eh kid death and the solemn twins!" Yakacza. "Ey yeah, do the one where Mazyu dies," Gyadalta. "No, the one where Captain strand us with you lot," Pyeisa. "That's the best one, cause it's still going! Everyone knows the best jokes don't end." "Dunno that, Pyeisa, your dad's dead." Yakacza. "Is he then? Alas. Send his family my regards." "I'll send them my hate for not having the dignity for a patricide." "Did he slip into some cherished nung, or whence this venom?" "Wasn't it your dad Pyeisa who shut the theater funding?" Kostiye. "Why would I know? I'm his kid, not his counter." "Sounds like someone didn't get a lot of inheritance." "Does anyone?" "My dad left me his mistress," Gyadalta slurred, seeming somehow deeply mournful. "Um so Veda, we gonna go?" Mylecz, cheery. "What're orders?" "Aye, what're orders, oh silent ones?" Pyeisa. "Shall we pray before your altar for fifty days and nights before the rains reveal it?" "There's not nothing wrong with silence, by geskecz," Gyadalta nodded to the impassive barkeep. "A round on that!" Yakacza. "Silence is the only one with the culture to appear to plays these days." "Ey, what number's that?" Kostiye. "Why do you care?" Yakacza shrugged, the action of which sent him [[slumping->mslumping]] to the counter to catch himself. "Here, come out of it ace, you're done." "Done? Who's ever done?" "You, for now," Kostiye slid Yakacza onto his shoulder. "No vomiting on my case this night, I'm afraid." "Still will," Yakacza blurbled. "What're orders?" Pyeisa set his mug down. "We're not packing out tonight, are we?" Meluoi, tuned to faraway thoughts, sighed at last to the scene. "Yes. Get your things. We must go now."

Drawl twice as long as it was ensued. People stomping or limping to their rooms to gather their gear or to sit until only they moved and not the inn. Light shots of unspirited banter accompanied the dragging, the clanging, the banging, the bitter [[exertion->mout]]. For what seemed like forever Yakacza lay upside down on a set of stairs arguing with Kostiye; when he moved, was it a dream, do things move? Tension; compaction. Crowding, now. Volya wormed into me with whispers and a glare berserker hacking at my skull. Doubled over a wet abyss, slime globs thickening to raindrops turgidly on my craning spine, vortex howl, the struggle, so much unbearable lightning. Haughty, waiting, sicklesmiled. Same questions hounding, answer empty trembler, does it mean anything, anything at all? Will it stop? Can I just, just for a second? The delusions which waymark the wandering in suffering are stripped away. Everything is imposition. In his freeze forgone... I admit, I admit it! I am what you say: miserable, obsessional, cold, deluded, denuded, a vicious, murderous arrogance, crude selfworship to believe in myself not as I am, and I am, I admit it, submit, I am condemned to know. Somehow we were all grouped, or glumped. How much time had passed? Yes, everything is past.

A collective moan and several harsher sounds and one much harsher sound. Yakacza made to throw his mug at her in protest, but Kostiye nursed it from him first. Meluoi sighed again and muttered something conciliatory to, ehm, uh, what was his name… We can't march out, half of us are too bent," Gyadalta. "All of us! Two thirds! Nine out of every six!" "We won't need to march," Meluoi evenly. "Just get your things." "What do you mean we won't need to march?" "Get your things, and you'll find [[out->mout]]." "What?" "Just get your things!" Gyadalta snorted, thumbing Meluoi to the barkeep as he turned. "The Veda, I swear." "It's what we deserve," Leiska got up. "No," Volya cocking to a lowering lead, "what we must not deserve."

"Goading us on to where now eh? Climb the Tower to all you dying, now down it posthence, not even a breather hor?" Kostiye. "Just so the voyage though," Gyadalta, melancholy. "You've got to be clearer about what you're asking, now that I'm directing." Leiska. "We are being swept towards the Submergence, whether with us you choose." Meluoi. "Aye yeh and to what costs?" "If you wish greater remuneration, you shall have it." Meluoi shrugged. "We'll offer you an honorarium for any interstitial suffering you wish to placate with compensation. Waiting for our return here warrants a reward, I suppose? Here, split it as your leadership sees fit." Meluoi tossed to Leiska a bauble brilliant. "Your services are acknowledged as what they are. Shall we [[continue->mout]]?" "We will continue to acknowledge what you are." Volya glowered.

"This way, little further," [[Meluoi->mmeluoi2]] nodded us on, "close now." Dragons breathed vermilion: chandeliers, their challenge. Walking like drowned thoughts splash. Gray metal boxed out of the will, we pondered into it. Strange how little veins pump after heartache. Have its wounds leaked? Meluoi motioned to a metal outcrop. Her tensed historical arm. Machine confrontation. Seasick wishing it was the sea making me sick. "What's all this then?" Mylecz. Meluoi slung us a grin and stepped into the metal cage. The ground shook beneath her. She [[plunged->mplunged]] from view. The ground reformed. "Fjelske!" Gyadalta. "What happened to the Veda?" "The hell did she go," Yakacza slurred. "It's just an elevator," Leiska. "You kids let their murder and [[abusing->mabusing]] slide, but you're losing it over an elevator. Everyday my disappointment blooms." "That's not an elevator, it's like, it's like a rock, like a..." "Like an elevator, yes, that goes through the rock." "If you're so suave, you go eyeh," Gyadalta. "Oh, but I thought I had no seniority. Why should I after the Veda?" "Gods, I'll do it, least if I die I won't be here for the lecture." Mylecz. He stood on the outcrop: gone. Ground grew over the hole. "Is he dead?" Yakacza. "Or am I? Please tell me I am." "Just, shut up Yakacza," Volya threw Yakacza onto the machine and followed. "Hey, ey –" The ground was gone, and they were gone, and the ground was back again. "Guess this [[momentum->mmomentum]] lah," Pyeisa. Indistinct [[flurry->mflurry]] of bodies, leaden. Tried to step forth as much Emninu as possible and the expectant inhale solved the state to stone.

Cracked webs in dark rock traversing silica oases as spinel and onyx flecks filled my everything as a grinding drone, was it within me? Static whine of the sensation of descending issued tubelike through mote rife columnar light shafts receding faster than the rush shrinking the bubble with impurities, a cough, the walls shatter with [[echoing->mtongue2]] reproof. Sucked into a disoriented stagger as the platform fullstop adjusts to a swift horizontal slide, nauseous wilting to supine, barely suppressed retroperistalsis and its slime courtesan, guttural huffing through the swollen, choking smog filtering for any symbol of human habitation, the dreamlike fluid skyline eyelid insides in superspeed roll, dots of stars plush reclines jutting from the psychic state, sensation of lying down and sentineling the ages pass, shadow cities constructing then collapsing in a single parabolic swoosh, an order [[disassembling->mrecede]] to its primordial underlie...

Suffering and repulsion marry and bear us, oscillating chimera, a despair that becomes hope. Brutalized begging in barren tombs, simplify this brain lava, please anyone remove these diluting specifics and reveal the bare truths in which naked and wet can I howl despair we can share. From the grime arises tessellated countercontours under an old orange sun silent but psalmic searing the bound. Oilslick rocks splat spat blacks that [[recede->mrecede]] rust shimmers to the cove coughing jets. The destroyer knows the truth, the underlying paradigm, what condemns me condemns the crowd from which I sprang. Owning the sin and its damnation as the [[dereidentity->mtongue2]]. I am a problem, absolutely, but that is the problem. When those like me slake their selfwish on others is a monster loose in the combination which must be hunted. This cause to which I am now party is the sole extrication from the harmonious terror whole, our cyclical souls must be rooted out and destroyed: the final hero is the destroyer who no longer saves but kills rebirth. Destroy not me, destroy us so that no vestige of me remains in us. I am a cutlass, grasp the handle. Resolve is the hardest emotion to maintain. I need you, Meluoi. Redeem me. Dismantle me. As I am Emninu, so too can the world be else. We are not finished. Don't snarl at this, believe it, clutch it close. I am not who I am but the frozen within, but I can break free. In these new days I can inhale a fresh air. Fresh air, a sound somewhat like talking...

Ventilated tunnel to the world again. "Relax," Meluoi, "we're not here to hurt you. We're just passing through." "Passing through what?" Incensed. "This is my house. That's my table! My family is startled half to –" Crash. Earthenware shards resigned sighs on the ground next to groggy Mylecz. "Yeska, another one! How many are you? Where are you coming from? Is there a hole in the First?" "Just breathe," Meluoi serenely, "there's an esteyekh in your –" "A what?" A shrug. "Nothing. We fell through some cracks, that's all. We'll [[leave->mrecede]] peacefully as soon as we're all here." The Kapinya's shook his head as he paced the room. "All here? How many… those damned beisza, bunch of worthless cokyessi if you ask me, can't a pound of their jobs, sick of it so! More incompetent than that so called son of mine. I'll harangue the Myemi this swear, they'll hear from me in full. Can't believe I was stupid enough to pay those damned taxes for all these years. Probably ate it all they did. Unbelievable. Utter gullible condemn yeah, spotting those miserable thieves their sprees. Only ever paid lipservice to keeping up, that's truth. I'll blast their ears clear, I will. In my dining room, by geskecz! Is nothing sacred? My poor grandkids are shaking sick, who knows how long it'll be until –" Kostiye's body slapped onto my back. Tried to groan but the shock stifled. "What! Another!" "Oh gods, sorry Leiru. Didn't realize you were there. My bad ace, it's just, that elevator –" "That what!" "It was so dark, and –" Mylecz nodded. "Gotta say eh, lot less comfortable than thought a Veda build. Aren't you all the machiners, or have I misunderstood now?" "Well," slight chuckle spurling on Meluoi's lips, "dust shows what you don't value." Harsher than it might have it hit us, no, fell on me, not us, I was alone, cannot defray, between them and her I stand beside no one shivering. Did anyone else even hear it? Eradicate entireties in your caustic, did she taste it, her power, or was I alone to be affected, they the infinite causes, I the sole effect quietly encumbered? Nothing more than this, helpless, to be as yourself, and I must slut my [[tongue->mtongue2]] for the lowest sustenance, there is nothing left after a stumble but your shaken pride, and, everything interlocks too tightly, don't want to deal with anyone, but I am in between, all that falls short lands on me.

Crawled out of the droptumble wearier than the exhilaration could overcharge, stunned unable to assimulate new impetus, old impetus, suddenness of Docks unpassing. Where could I, how is, where, how has nothing changed, or have I? Meluoi stood beneath the sunset's dribble. She shone like shade in the desert. I wished I could just implant my heart inside her brain, have my blood feed her thoughts, let limp this corpus beneath her burgeoning interpretation, but I knew she would not want that, not even Jaufr had wanted it when I gave that to him, but how was I supposed to... what was it like to just... but yet I couldn't stand simple in my confused adoration, because Imeni hadn't wanted that, nor could I stand aloof in icy respect, because Kaiya had been failed by that, but what was I supposed to do? How can I be more than who I am not? How can I be unimportant but in a way that blesses others? How can I drink clear the crystal water to sustain something [[communicatively->mtongue2]] real? I don't know anything. I know that I don't know anything. But I can never be pathetic enough to [[elude->mrecede]] the moral impetus. I must know. I must be. I must do. I must. I must. I must I, whoever that is.

"Consider critically mankind, Jaufrei," Nejani. "Spend a moment really thinking what we are capable of as people. One thing would it be yeah if only our spitedrunk shouts damaged others, the broadsides we consciously fire, but what's so dangerous and scary is we whisper hate, we do it unthinkingly. Our asides are our most awful. Hovering over the other sludge which gawps at it unworthy, or so we must pretend to behave so thoughtlessly. Capable of so much debasement with so little effort that it fails to even weigh on our consciences. Why would anyone give us that much power when we won't even think about how we daily use it? We hurt each other, and it's not just that we don't care, but sometimes we don't even know. Someone inconveniences you, and for a moment you burst in rage at them, at their existence, at a human being who is not convenient. Just for a second, in a single satisfying outburst, we tear at the throat of someone who caused us the slightest bit of unhappiness, who could not perform the [[dance->mtongue2]] to our exact desire. The awful things we say every day to those in our way. Humanity is the only species that hates itself casually. Misanthropy, there's a gambit there, there's a courageous choice, however much hate it spews is in some pathetic way worthy, because you're owning your part in a cosmic struggle, but this kind of meaningless invective, so continuous it embattles us that it must be internal, how are we to deal with it? What are we to say about ourselves when we unconsciously degrade everyone like us? Perhaps in anathematic rage we strive to undo the gods' great mistake. Snapping over crumbs, minor vanities, the most basic superiorities, but we weigh ourselves with it, we can be better than the other, better, Jaufrei, think of it, that I might be worth more than you, you might deserve my condescension because I actually must descend to you... we are nature's narcissistic roaches, at best a joke, as it is the worst grim reflections of the possibilities of gods, because there is no end to the harm we bandy, no redress, we will never be without ourselves, no future is better than any present, only different. We always must wrestle with each other, and that necessitates the winners and the losers, the resources of happiness finite await the victors. Maybe a few get a lot, or maybe a lot get a little, but someone's gonna starve: that's what our needing to eat implies. We jostle, someone falls short, and we judge them, oh how we judge those who starve! Nature laughs with us when we watch our weakest die. The absolute revulsion we feel in ourselves at someone who yearns but is less than our performance is our nature, Jaufrei, how hideously natural we are when we are cruel. We find some way in which they are unworthy, then we smash their skulls with it, so that the bones of our beaten skeleton our wants. We eat their souls for survival. Is it really so strange to you? Let's say you lose a fight with me and cry. Not too hard to imagine. Say I find you're a sniveling child incapable of dealing with consequences, I pronounce it in some pithy perfection, and I drink my victory. I see you as what you are: a selfish, entitled brat unwilling to cope with a world not exactly yours. In my victory, however, you burrow into your bitter sniveling, you think of me as a bully, one who forces his way on others, who refuses to share the stage with others. To you in your wretchedness I am an ill tempered brute, and were mankind populated only with me there would be nothing kind, gentle, nurturing, nor innocent in this world at all. We would be a barking hell of devil cynics. Sure. Here's the quandary, though: who's right? Isn't that the thing, the awful thing, that neither of us are right, that we are both intrinsically and horrendously right, that we are destined to see things only through some fragile prism of flaws that reflects sadness at a world unlike us? It's not that it's not true, it's that I as a person need my truth to survive and not, never yours. Through victory I am happy, through defeat you are unhappy, but we are both incomplete, through our very warring we are reprehensible, morality is what neither of us will. You may say that we can negate ourselves, but let us imagine one who has, let's take Kostiye here, by all accounts a meager kindness nobody wants but which grates on none. Relax, Kostiye, it's a hypothetical. Anyway but he witnesses the fight we just had and studies our reactions. He thinks about how unthinking we were, how repulsive it is that neither of us are willing to take the time to examine the other's point of view. He thinks to himself about how unenlightened we are, how inevitably stuck into our narrow ways we've forced ourselves to be, and naturally it saddens him, he regrets that there has been this flash of human suffering when it would have been so avoidable if only everyone were like him. Do you see? It's the same thing, and now he is hurt too, if only philosophically. Him, who owns neither victory nor defeat! Because the observer also needs his truth, he too needs to feast from the carcass. You see, the basic human struggle is against each other. Against other animals we vie for survival, but against our species we vie for selfhood. Selfhood is the wounds you inflict on others. That's why we're so angry when others inconvenience us, because they dent who we think we should be before others, so we bat them back to clear out our image. The angers you nurse against others fester where you've been [[denied->mrecede]] your projections. Our becoming is our violence upon the world. People's feelings will always get hurt; the way we as beings are built, we are brittle and built for battle, it's all so hilarious, it's so unreasonably sad. We will hurt other people, and it will happen often, no matter what we do. Relive your life a thousand times, sweat to perfect it, and you will find that only by doing nothing, only by killing yourself slowly, will you ever save your soul. Only people who are not people can be holy. We're broken from the start, Jaufrei, and that's what you don't understand. You are trying to convince people to play charitable hands in a game that demands its losers. If you want to live, others must bleed. It's as simple as that. We ought not try to be good. We can't be. We should only strive to be unimportant. That's enlightenment, oblivion."

Olyasz would not look up from his ale, and who would? There's so much in there that's not out here. Some shell emerged in my larynx, loaded wondering why. Many vying to recount the unsummable in a yawning chasm sound. Alien mumble. Myeri's name sounded, but he did not shake, nor did he to Myeri's dying speeches savaged by rejoinders from the insolent chorus. An absence fogged us, but he found it familiar. Inherited command was dutifully passed on. Olyasz was still. Leiska sighed. Honey glow flickered, flattened, wottled depressive. Mirthless gravel ruminated in Olyasz's throat an undefined grunt. Bracing strength which did not dwell in the dirty blonde locks ragged below the brow, in the emaciated composition hunched awkwardly, oiled through in his neck cricking. Something hopelessly unnameable for a second gurgled. We collectively swallowed. A deepset mmn. "No casualties," Olyasz, "only one desertion. So it was like um. So I don't remember when it was, but like we went to a craftshall. Or no. It was puppets. Yeah, that's it, I remember now. Puppets. Hah ah. Or maybe it was puppets at a craftshall, but you're to it yeah. Mostly we went for the food ah, but also was there this traveling show there, not a Kapinya's gig but I think Umae's or. Nonsense, but the music was nice, gelled the atmosphere lah, very laidback. Got stage and bongoed with them, it was pretty open, so. I wasn't paying attention really, but so Reikka wags all night about it, the next day too, makes us go again. Whatever, yeah? You know how some people are, especially Reikka. Plus it was something Imeni could do, since it was no movement, so." Put one finger over another fingernail, swipe to flake it off. "Hell like let's go every night, why not? Not like there's anything else to do here. You know I went to the gameshall? They had a choker and the quickhitter and that was it lor, and the quickhitter was broken, you had to do the little pieces yourself, which is basically unplayable, I mean I tried, but. Like what even is, like what do you do for fun, you yego. The gameshall's the place you keep up, is where all the coins go, sides the pubs, but, I mean anyway, they got to know us, the puppet goers, and they were actually pretty cleft. Show was flounce obvious, but so easy about it so, get bread aye. Let me play drums for them, they had some kind of, ehm, looked like a flute but sounded like some eunuch whistle or uh ah ha, they let me mess with that too like. The whistle actually jams when you learn it right, can go super high and fast over the others, so you can like go around the melody really well, or just be obnoxious if you want, depends your notch. Anyway so the place is pretty relaxed hey, so why else? Tower's so abandoned it hurts to speak cause the echoes. Why anyone lives in a place where they don't keep up the gameshall isn't my reason. Like you're supposed to take the girls from the pub, to the gameshall, to some abandoned, and you're missing a crucial step, here. You supposed to go from pubs to cold tile? Do you know how terrifying that? Like hey catcha, follow me right on into this dirty old, I mean I'm probably a slaver at that point, or any other creep, who knows aye. You gotta go the gameshall first to like, like figure out who they are, right? Make sure they're not too out of it or too into you. Cause you can't in the pub, I mean the pub's like, it's its own uh, but uh, but I mean anyway so right these puppet beisza, they're like a cycling gig so they gotta ship out, by which time Reikka's actually doing puppet bits, learns their lines, didn't even know they had lines, thought they just, you know, gisted, but she shows up one night with a script and says she's gonna write her own bits too, didn't know she could write, I guess actually I did but, yeah now that I think about it, yeah she was with the books sometimes, but so the puppet people are in about she can blather whatever her hell like ah, why not eh, said she could put in whatever she wanted, she volts about it, utter frayed like. First day she's in, there's like, two kids not from the ship, but she goes real burning drama, totally in it. I didn't think she acted either, but she sure as shit tried. Mariena, she's so blown with emotions she's afraid of anything sad, so like she claps for Reikka, and I guess the Kapinya's started to clap after her, so Reikka shoots up like a rag in a storm. No mark on her for like three days after that til I show up to wherever this was again, turns out she's been there nonstop, written a whole script, on like the real paper hey, not the, the um, but like the expensive, not palmipsests but fresh, and she's scribbled all over them. One of the puppet kids can read, so he tells the rest the crew the story, they all follow. By the time I show up again it's like a process, it's all greased out. "So time comes for them to push out, Reikka doesn't say a thing. I'm off drinking with one of the puppeteers their last day and he says to me swear, cool you let yours go on the short, which and I didn't know, and didn't care, I mean I'm sorry, but I didn't spend a sweatdrop parsing it, just sipped and nodded, that was that, but all I know is next day they're gone, the puppets, and awhiles later Mariena's asking me if I've seen Reikka, so next I'm in pubs I ask about, nobody's heard nothing. Go to uh, don't know, some of the artsy kepka, she's not there, none of them's seen her since Mariena's seen her. One guy goes that Reikka'd been around some past absolutely spilling about belonging to the puppets, I mean ahaha you tell me the hell that means hey! Like what right? But thought for a little bit she might have hired out for a fishing round or that kinda, you know, but no, gone, she's gone to the puppets! Kid's cut out of another pattern if you ask me." "Puppets," Volya. "Puppets," Olyasz lowered to sip. Rose to an aah. "You guys go get some [[sailors->mstart22]]. I'll be here."

To the Docks washed by dry rolls of wind remembering in my lungs how they failed to catch the sounds you could wing upon the open terror. Folding into memory the idea of ascent, of Veda as a place; trying to unfurl it migraine. Seasick upon first semicontact after having forgotten sea, forgotten this me; encountered, decipher replace its prominence which character strength? Affixed which elusion in this emulsion sickness? Acquiesce to leak whey. First Meluoi's then next Leiska's orders fizzled, and we splintered in Dockwise wanderneaths. At least for tonight time to reassemble the reflections necessary. Remediations crept in waves while we wilted to bone; we will machinate tomorrows, need only to calibrate yesterday missing. At the Docks! Like we flickered and automated. "Eh ya to the drink you'll keep me, please ah Leiru, you've got a couple clink of Jaufrei's so is said." Mylecz. "I just, please, only this once I'll ask it of you, just, after all that I, I can't just not..." I rummaged through my rucksack, found a coin, briefly considered assuring it wasn't Jaufrei's, but wouldn't that just assure. Sighed; best rid of it before I'm tempted to drink it. "You're a heart, I've always said," Mylecz shook my hand. "You and me, we've the wistful, we can sense each other. Come up to the bar yeah, we'll share it." "No I'm, no thanks, I don't -" "No please, I insist, I'm not the like that takes without thanks. Off we're lah." Led into the density I milled off to the myriad where rillrollicked over several betweens collided with Reikka who grabbed hold of my hand and led me into a disparity quiet where airy she slouched onto outside the specific sinuous of a spillover. She begged of me anything of the aether still perspiring down my furrowed, and I tried to give it, genuinely, at first, but something about the way she asked, her expression, loathing cycled me into mumbling incoherent statement stems. Diffracted her disappointment settled in a momentum towards voluminous despair, echofirsts of a distance sobbing. "You can't communicate it, can you, all that lies above this den? Does not dwell in you to so transpose. Ah, don't you see I've been waiting for you to return and tell me, and you can't, there's nothing to tell? They left me behind deliberately, they refused me dignity of ascending! I'm glad he's dead lor, the Captain, choosing to strand me here in this, in, when you, why would he not choose me to ascend, his naturalist, isn't that my job to, how is it fair that you, who cannot conceive a single word to describe, but I, who have been envisioning it in all my sleepless! You're the third I've asked and still deeper I find myself mired in zero! Nobody has the words to carry the Tower down, and maybe, maybe that's what happened to Akusa's, isn't so, someone finally spoke it? One by one all being told, shivered myself through when winds prowl the Docks wondering if the howls were the first cracks of a collapse, couldn't sleep without the fear I'd wake up with all of it condensed to a single point far beneath the [[surfaceworld->mstart22]]. To think I waited breathlessly for this, but it's just emptiness, it's you! That's all I've ever found in all my waiting. No, I can't keep the, this isn't, I'll do it then, you all don't trust me, you don't think I'm capable, I'll hazard you all wrong, I'll be just like your boyfriend was and prove you all wrong out of sheer spite, then topside with the Veda I'll, I'll, they'll accept me, they'll love me, I'll just speak one poem to them, and they'll understand, they'll welcome me home, or maybe they'll shove me the Veda mines, but I don't care, rather die mining whatever they mine than our worthless lugubrial violencia to freezesubmit afresh! Leaving me behind with the ships, how dare you, I almost thought, I thought I'd race after you all, catch you up, then we'd all go together to the, the, but I don't, I'm, I'm not very strong or fast or dangerous or, I don't have what it takes to, and I knew, the Captain, he, he knew I'd die, I've heard how little have returned, you don't think I don't know I'd die? But you made it through, Leiru, so who's to say I won't? If I sneak through by myself, none of the monsters will notice, not even the Veda will notice when I've taken my seat beside them, will just see me as if has always been, and it has, I'll prove it, I'm going to ascend, and when I reach the top, I'll lower down on a line verses for all of you, and you won't be able to read a single line, and our distance will become justified." Slowly floating she receded through the ceiling like a teardrop's last plea granted by gods' omnimelancholy.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXII''] --- Seaspray almosts porcelain in the snow rays slither into inner skin a restless. Wet with witness [[phantoms->mphantoms2]] rove my tenseness and glisten. On the railings my fists clenched. My palms singe, brain sparks [[unsolved->munsolved]], let go the rail, goes the world, float in my unform unfleshed, pulse and eluse stars whose sparse glide [[silhouettes->msilhouettes]] the looming yes, [[sunsteel->msunsteel]] act. Is this who you are? Weren't we this? Don't you listen? //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

[[Dreamed->mdreamed]] I once sanctuary in closed accumulation, treasure enough to always be enough, enoughly peopled a vault to stimulate, simulate, but sigh mutilated lifespans thirst each second yet one more, yet one more, [[plush->mplush]] back the border breath by breath. Ever in enough always yet incomplete, closure seekers in [[openends->mopenends]]. We cannot fill what is not inside us.

Places of people ruinscapes of crimson now. Crush cannot the counted [[wills->mwills]]. Never enough people inside you to be alone perfect. Synthetic ingress to soul satiation twines us broken branches on the dark forest floor, no filter unity, no shibboleth saves the motionless, grow into your sunder and stay [[ruptured->mruptured]] forever. [[Exitskeletal->mexitskeletal]] slimes lapping false shores losure storm concusses mygraine against the.

Sine valley buzzes blasted ears no oasis, you will spill out, you will feel hours press, will feel your brain bulge blank and soaked, there is [[nowhere->mnowhere]] for you outstretched but merely only solely noise, sensation cancers, dying, cannot die alive, you cannot let go. Feel your palms. Can't you feel your palms ivory and ebony? [[Ghostlimbs->mghostlimbs]] paralyzed, numb tingles splatter on white. Move my fingers no, pinched nerves. Nervous? Your shoulder shouldn't be perpendicular to your torso, who drew your shoulderblade out, why are you, all this [[blood->mblood2]], by gods all this blood, you're soaked! You are soakment foremost.

Tattooed on your truth the symbols read you to those to whom you wish were you [[blank->mblank]]. So much written on you which you cannot undo. If you crack their skulls, then can you leak out your image from them, slurp up every [[impression->mimpression]] made, can be born again. Kill and be born, isn't that what you've always wanted? Cannot. [[Oxygen->moxygen]] deprivation dizzy.

Demon rips from the screeching gristle in your musclebarbed teeth, muscle strands between your fangs wriggling like worms beneath boots. [[Faces->mmariena2]] as unrecognizable as yours echo canter calls lodestone hum axis to reel out aflame, flush, can't feel. Candelabra crowds you breeze swing, spring out into space in the crowd, in their crush. You will not find it in their faces, in all of their pages. Flogged by forms indense cannot recall the creeds that nursed your awareness, wheel out into the deanswered why naked and inferior. Don't you see we tried? What should we have been we weren't? We've been dead for so long we cannot recall if we ever lived. Were you alive? Were you? Weren't you alive? Gods, what happened to your [[tongue->mchance]]?

Sweat gushes into the scream to choke, drowns. Too much time has passed. Wake up. You're sweating. Panting, out of breath. All the things you could have done happened yesterdays. How many eyelids layers do you have? Open them one by one, you'll never escape. Out of breath. Your palms are burning. Your alms are yearning [[misplaced->mmariena2]], you've been in the [[wrong->mchance]] place, it's too late to reach them now. There's too much to go. You're going to fall short into this right here. How hideous is it? Look around. This is where you. This is. You can't feel my fingers, the numbness burns! Where!

Don't you hear what they call you? Stretch out your ear a tube to slip into the sea, barnacle about the hull, [[slitherbore->mmariena2]] a hole, slip into their earholes, [[wriggle->mchance]] into their voices and listen what they're saying, what are they saying! Wake up! Hole in the ship, we're sinking, gods what happened, how is there a hole here, we're going to drown! We're all going to die!

We've been trying to tell you all this time. You just won't listen. Listen for what? What am I listening for? What am I supposed to... You're supposed to wake up. You're drowning. "Falling asleep is the only thing that makes life worth living," Myneme. "We rove days solely to scavenge material to furnish dreams. Days fail us, so we forge nights." "In a memory gem immolate the actual," Nyneme. "Eradicate the lines, drown in your bliss lies. Never trust someone who will not lie to you." "No amount of joy can ever deserve the raw horror that fills this earth," Myneme. "Watch someone spasm their [[grief->mmariena2]] in sounds that make no sense, then say a smile means aught. Wrestle not with the earth for joy. [[Dilute->mchance]] the whole essence. Find some negated nowhere you can pulse." "Deathdreamers in the void fulfilled," Nyneme. "Where is your void? What is it you're trying to avoid?" Punched to a splash brashing me awake gasping at where I'd sleptslipped to the sea, scrabbled up the, bobbing beneath the hull, punching it wildly, the rope grabbed, hoisting myself to where others with mixed mirth and concern gawped at my soaked. "What are you flailing at?" Gyadalta. "Get this kid belowdecks before he hurts someone." "I tell em we ought to lock them beneath for their own safety." Pyeisa. "Isn't he a foreman?" A Kapinya's. "He's for a man, sure, you'll get your swing when he's dried up," Pyeisa shoved me down the stairs.

Your mother hangs upside down on the ceiling and her tongue stairsteps down to your feetless; what happened to your feet? You crawl up each step into her mouth. She swallows you. You sink deep into her soul. Her voice rips open your hollows, fashions you an instrument. You sing her songs. That's what they hear of you. You sing her songs. Isn't your voice beautiful, your mother's voice? Such lovely sounds, such as your, your, your, she could say it, will she say it someday, your... can you crawl back in time and let her know your? When she her songs, does it modulate keys to your? Why do you think it's any different [[now->mchance]]? Haven't you been listening? Haven't you been awake? You're drowning. You can see yourself underneath the undercurrents! There, under the waves! Gentle hole thrums [[open->mmariena2]] in the wall and seven hands emerge to beckon you into an interlocking.

"The coordinates which once built my prison no longer correspond to where my longing has gone." Myneme. "Beneath the focus on continuities as they propel you is the locus by which you are so compelled." Nyneme. "Leiru." "Infinity incidence moebius to the structure recomposed," Myneme. "Two meeting in twain, clash to new chirality. Entangled in the entropy a treasured together dying. What voids do you share?" "We can be in this trackless a bridge between impossibles," Nyneme. "Our hollows echo harmonies." "Leiru, ey! You there mate?" "You must never fall asleep," Myneme. "Life is worthwhile only when worthless to you. In the austerity of purpose instrumental, your music precious. Pain is the stage for soul. Being is the veins straining insistence on this, this, this, the hatekiss of sin, denial desire affirming [[attachment->mchance]], expend your dwindling energy resisting the inexorable erasure upon this battlefield." "Bleed scripture where you save what must die," Nyneme. "Suffer on account of the sins you wish to bear in your name." "In your," Myneme. "In your," Nyneme. My eyes flickered in sixteen separate spots and saw the nothing from all those angles, jambling up views monoscopic without condensing or compensating, reeling motion sick. Tried to scream but all four of my mouths were not connected to my three throats; they slapped back together in a screech. "You're righted there hor? Still bleeding with us, Leiru?" "In your veins can I your unwritten read," Nyneme. "Sojourner where, this here?" "For so long known," Myneme. "No one knows you. No one knows us. How can you know when no one knows you?" "Emnin!" To the left a little I jittered. Gasping and sweating, wild face. Next to me staring, Mariena. "Oh uh. Sorry. I. Sorry." I. "Been there a ghost hey?" "Yeah, saw myself in the sea." [[Mariena->mmariena2]] laughed nervously. She was holding a bundle of poles. "You want to help me set these up? One of the Kapinya's was supposed to help me, but she was um. Well." "Sure," trying to sound cheery.

Focus, focus, you're helping [[Mariena->mmariena2]] load the ship, just... Pinkdreaming gray froze us in our tense, tense ease. Our movements rolled us our own sea, sleepy. Chills lacy in the breeze swept our shirts and hair like we were sunrays snowing. Lifetimes ago were we invisible in each other's presence, so thin the thread that patterned us here that through it we might, we could, might unravel time to that same dwellrumination: side by side gazing elsewheres. Oh, where do the skinclusives flow? Oils of skin washed away, sandpaper politeness in a distance strangeness. Loss of youth is damnation to postures. No longer able to bend. Stuck. She brushed past and knelt, her nails to the rail tying, her face brushstroked by the wavespray colors, staring into forever in the right here like a seashell held to the ear, lips slightly apart to let mix her whispers and the wind. Misty gray shades washing us almost too solid. The ship lurched us for a second free, sailing struggle, you can never be alike all this freedom. With the roll religious hesitated she to stance askance at me her white smile shone. She said thank you in a tone I quivered to recognize, to the years this body felt as foreign, to the ways my sinews used to sing. Silently I nodded. She leaned backwards against the railing, letting the wind rush her hair round her face, so I leaned aside her wishing my hair were as long so we could loose ourselves in the jet stream. There was a lot we did not say, so she said something. "Did they catch their go up in, the uh, the ascent yeah?" "I think they found what they were looking for long before they found us." She glanced at me. "Hmm. Maybe so. Maybe Veda have nothing they need to find. Maybe they've elevated to merely reaching it eh? Don't envy." I glanced at her. "But what if you never find what you're struggling to find?" "I'll dwell here all the same." "Shivers of an empty room?" "That's just home hey." Couldn't help it, I just started laughing, for the first time since Jaufr died I let myself break out. She chuckled softly, then, as I would not relent, laughed like the [[ghost->mchance]] of a sweetness.

[[Mariena's->mmariena2]] sigh cut through our quiet. "Do you remember the loft nestled up near the ceiling of Second? The one Tasyumi used to live in, kepka up all the flights yeah where's we lived that while, the four of us, when Tasyumi was voyage, the place where we said all the things we wanted to make sense, where we all nodded as if they did?" "Remember the way you used to hang out the little window, used to make me so nervous, was just sweating watching you hang there like a seagull roosting. I used to like sit even closer to the door to try and counterbalance you, as if that was a thing, you know?" "Yeah. I liked to hang there to see how Jaufr reacted. I liked to see his smile when I sat there, it was like that's how he always saw me, his pleased to see his judgment hold true. I would sometimes lean out further, little too far sometimes lah, trying to maybe scare some protectiveness out of him, but he would smile more, he would see me as the infinity that would hang in the balance, I think he expected me to some day let go and levitate. He was always waiting to see when I would levitate. That's what I needed so much from him, that expectation. I had, I, you know I had never quite, had that, younger. Um. So when he let me live out my sky, I would lift him into it and kiss him. Feels like so long ago, that. What happens to time? Do you think the world loses interest in us, that's how we slip away?" "Maybe the reverse ah? We become overweighted with age, can no longer climb its leylines, we sink into our alreadies." "Suppose so euh. Were always so thoughtful, you, Emnin. That's what Imeni would say about you: thinks too much, his best and worst quality." "How, how is she?" "It's not like you don't know where she is. She wants to see you. You should stop by when you get a [[chance->mchance]]." "Yes. I should." Wavering she let finally the wind sweep her away turning as she went and striking so definite a rush, vivid as the birth of the earth. Woven into her aria hair her ears seemed stars. Her hearth complexion dazzled the compression inside my soul. Were it not for the weight of being I would have mistaken this moment for ones forever gone. "Don't wait too long. We've all done too much of that."

"Reaching out to hold onto what matters, and choosing to embrace the distance, hug the horizon." Nyneme. "Accidents that pursue you, undo you." Myneme. "Farness itself a peace, the ease of letting go all that is gone from you." Nyneme. "How do I swallow all these difficulties to arrive where they threaten?" Myneme. "Simply mattergest the recondite, you'll be fine." Nyneme. "Cannot deepen sufficient to understand. On my knees kissing where I will never [[reach->mmariena2]]." Myneme. "Beautiful because it is [[beyond->mchance]] me, envy as a reckoning with what I ruinous." Nyneme. "Certainty that everything will fail, which is why to try, you will falter farther." Myneme.

Miasma inks up your limbs transition from where under the floor four thousand mile stalks feed fester from the sludge center to this constricted shame, answers sans recoil. Presence in your body registers as an emptiness lived in. Fuzz static suppresses the surf to pressure placid preferable to the terrified alie. Resting in exhaustion [[aftermath->mmariena2]] blunted. Not more me nor no more me I wish but self immolation smiling at the wasted hours like yes. Treacherous snarl before a haven bulwark felt it on me, the film, the forced to be before the door. Implicit priesthood of the damning by worship was all this was, you wish the light which not is its own basker. Burlesques of dressing in clothes of increasing complexity, hidden in the dark audience watching someone become immune, but they're not, are they, because they were first demanded vulnerably open, teasingly mortal. You are guilty of being an audience, and nothing on the stage can outplay your sin. [[Guilty->mchance]], is it ever possible to be whole again? Doesn't guilt permeate through the membranes and sully the whole organism no matter how it splits apart? Written in your core my changing symbol, am I a soldier to a different god because is this the same armor. No but I just need to listen, yes, listen indeed, lurid ear straining through the walls to peep arias otherworldly, by which my ruinous means both other and worldly. Three forked tongues slinging out from my neck slithhing give me your secrets, make me not me, kill, punch, burn me, break... let me confuse your language.

Azure world whirling to satisfy [[she->mchance]] was beside me the sole stability. Her splayed hair softened to between a heart and a halo that the boat's scrap floor shimmered like silver in, but I lay looking over the stillness to see her there where the earth might belong to this being, that she might not be the stray light in the vast in which gently rocked we. Do you wonder, she said, but I heard her say wander, and I turned to her and smiled the missed no which she misinterpreted to something else wonderful, and wasn't that all we were, something else wonderful, because beneath that laugh, her lips, infinite worlds no other fountain flowed, windchimed a something else wonderful no other thing might claim, a perception which bore her personhood like fruits of graces impossibly imagining, involving, impossibly lunar serenity chrysanthemumized my whispers to her rose eclipse. How much has been lost in the quiet [[distance->mmariena2]]? Too much, but not enough to be free. Is this what you wanted, to be free? No, it has to be something deeper, but I know no other way to phrase it, part of the problem...

[[Dread->mchance]] is such a small thing, so simple at the start to excise, but it breeds in the unlit parts, suppression sheaths through which no thought shines, fears on longstalk legs clogplodding up the black lake lungs to compact the rivulet neck that gurgles between the misbeating chest and the charred mind, then disintegrates to a dull hulching shock as the sole conduit of the percolating virus purls viscous a tumorous mass, you facing yours. Sunlight motes hang horrified in the turgid air over your treacherous step the further you fall into the veils, and I could not swallow the sandpaper harsh saliva that stubbles this bulbing throat. My voice is a scream to a void which hears. Set fire to these fibers lulled by lyres so my eyelids tremble along the structures of awake to burstbless this [[shadowside->mmariena2]] with the shape it outlines, make me some knight of source, structure struggle. The way your body moves is a testament to its directrix spiral. Ghost of this thickening: clockmarch slavery. I belong to my antagonism, I am not without it. Why I must annihilate myself at her altar, no longer idol but avenging god: split along a wound two wheres I loathe I wish to locate a less she may killstress my line kin to, erase my say yours, I ask for ash, ash, what more could an ashtongue ask. Know why you so go, your good reasons flatten to malfeasance, your treasons swells throat tumors, will beat you senseless whoever I, you drippy glue. No, resilient in the reason to die with some cosmic condemnation in case there's no gods to give it. Well, there was the door I could push open... taut confusion parting my lips to a permanent sad whisper, the dread had bulged too massive to withhold in the push forward, my limbs lay heavy with hypersensation, hypertension spasm – Pull yourself through the serrated crawlspace, endure. For once in your life show some willpower. Let the poem ringing in your ears in the silence speak you. Stronger than dread is destiny, stronger than me is Meluoi, and at least once more this door shall not stand impossible, so that its impossibility will be purpose, not cowardice, nor…

Judge me, for I opened the door. "Leiru," Mariena. "Glad your appear ah." "Hey, Emnin," Imeni. Hollow ice I blanched the emptying out of a buzzing plethora to sheer [[dissection->mdissection]], corpse stillness in the gallery responseless to scalpels, settled in repeated mental nos boxing in my left calf my severe muscle spasm, no breath, no move, plunged to a seat, splattered masque smile, though the pressure shunted my eyelids jammed, so strained, shying grimacine, grimoire moue. Like I had been drenched in a five days wasting away I shifted my shirt to prevent it from sticking. Treading water a few inches below the surface beneath a glass pane. I coughed. "How was the uh, how your shift then?" Mariena. I shook my knee so as not to shout it. "It was good, yes." "It was good lor, all the rowing?" "Or tiring, or..." Pauses are eternities that resolve. Inhaled to sigh but did not sigh. "Well," Mariena. "Suppose I must dry the driftroots topside. Noon was it, Emnin?" But why wouldn't it be was my nod. "Best time of day for it. Back in a few." "Okay, Mariena," Imeni. Like before a sunset I wanted to simply drift to the long sleep. Mariena like a blur slipped the confines. I stared at my hands. Imeni didn't fill the gap; uncertain, I looked up. Contact. The words bled out of my mouth: "How have you been?" "Ah between the seething pain and these super bitter tonics she's forcing me, not also as being able to you know like stand, being stuck in this stuffy room for a million hundred thousand decades or at least somewhere north of weeks, yeah I'm great, better than bliss. Eah, nothing to it? Really put my all there, was going for the standing ovation." Her humor in a wild barren haunted. Featureless I peered at my cataracts. The idea to say something like, I would've but I thought it insensitive, flashed in my mind like a memory. I cannot pretend. I've lived my whole life pretending, can I just try honesty? Is there any way we can be earnestly ourselves without, but no, that's the whole point, the more yourself you are the more pain you cause. That's why I must undo this, but first I must own up to what this is, and I can only [[blame->mblame]] myself if what I asked for burns, suffer yourself brave. Death hurts for who is personalized in its process. Let her [[butcher->mbutcher]] you bearable to destiny. You will do what you came here to do, then you will leave, you will never return, so that in the nights when you writhe with what the cool wind writes in dead scripts on naked flesh, naked, naked, you are gross and forgotten already, isn't that this possible joy, being fog? Come at me, you night taunting, come closer so I can rip your face off, put mine on you, pull away cackling.

I knocked, and I recoiled, how did thought become reality, things were moving, what had I set in motion, couldn't undo it, had to live it. The door opened. "Leiru." Rawness sobriety became its own intoxicant and leaked into my skull some courage. I did not answer so much I strained some believably a smile. "Come on in, yeah? There's a chair to the right there." Mutely I followed, childlike obedience. Mariena's glacier behind an immense distance not physical but temporal. I stuttered to explain. [[Transcendence->mtranscendence2]] falls short on where you are. How could I say what I didn't appear? What even is there to [[say->msay]]? Enunciated warping to the staid shadowess by which the ground below me, gunmetal gray perfect for any toxic overlay, with the sea slosh actively antisolid, groaned a crunching to bring the opacity of fine dust layers entrenched in the ceiling swaying down to this liquid no earth: could I bring forth what my fangs pierce? I owe it to her precisely because it is impossible. "How are, how..." "She's fine, just in here. She's down a bit on some medicine yeah, so don't try to make her talk, but I'm sure she'll enjoy listening to you. Well, maybe enjoy's not the right word eah, they should let us invent new words whenever we feel it, not have to define it, simply say it, then recall that [[ambiguity->mambiguity]] whenever someone else encounters it elsewhere. Hey Imeni, Emnin's come to see you." "Uh, hi. How are you? I just wanted, to see..." Imeni lay in a sleepy crystal feel. My will to be here melted entirely in her. To myself alien. She nodded at me as one might... as... how was it that she nodded at me? My veins tied themselves in knots. Tenuously settled into the chair Mariena motioned to me, perched over an abyss, leaning too far forward. "I hope you're, doing fine. I don't know if I have the right to wish anything, but I wish you the best, whatever of me efficates in the deeper layers gives itself this form. Um. Do you, um. How are you getting on?" "She's making a lot of progress," Mariena's tone quavered me deeply nervous. "You should come on some other day when she's not down under it; you'll see for yourself how she is. But we've been curious about you lot, you know, your ascension ah, how was it, to, how was all of that, uh, like the... and at the [[top->mtop]], what was, I mean Yakacza told us a lot, but there must be so much more that..."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Curlicues inky tentacle through blankdepths Blending with muted marine filterdarks Cursive striking new thoughts to the [[submerged->mparticipation]] liven blaze, Phantasmal entropies trill geranium decorating the derelict Gorgeour moody to seraph the hauntscape effervesce Phatically enacting cinderspainted integration of dereals Mobilized multiple to invade the thirsts [[persistonal->mgenuineflections]], Lush lingers aestheticizing the void filled, [[Mobweb->mcoherence]] of wonders starking fulfillment flashes as we perish…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Interrelation modes inescapable ideation your closure [[Fixated->mcoherence]] systems whose heuristics seal you whole Interlocation express cues infuse actions with cloister [[Genuineflections->mgenuineflections]] echobred brocage to beautify [[submission->mparticipation]] Adoration piety of falsities rhapsodied deeperly provable Gendering in meshmourn bledentifiers subterfugeal Lithograph imprinting intention to plasmatic scintillosanct, Luminous knowledge to worship to lunar calendars of phasing, Liturgies of envisionaries chantchaining your wedship scion…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Winging wideways to syrup pan the sun yellow Heightened dipping in the role to follow Wines the brilliance steepness to dizzy yelps Splattered on concretes which [[coherence->mcoherence]] assault Hard stopping your fall to splay febrile on brackish Splinted by broken spine to [[incorporate->mparticipation]] the assurance Directive ushering purposed through lines ordered, Envisioned manufactures automata [[manuflicting->mgenuineflections]] descents Diracic predicting of election an anti to ordain, Secrets successive relentless of sorteds their symmetries Undermining the underwriting system to flourish pure symbols Secreting intentives ethereal relativizing abyss beneath sweating perched sybil…"]

"Yeah. It was uh. Strange, you know, to have spent a whole lifetime dreaming about the world up there, yet somehow I feel so, so... like my world hasn't been any more filled in than before, there's still these pulsating voids ripping larger and bizarrer holes between my steps... but there is a difference though, that's the problem, there's so much difference, almost as if everything before was the dream, and this is the waking, or, I can't explain anything, nothing would make any of it connect to where we left connections… you're asking this question of someone else who isn't here to respond, yet I'm only here because it's me who must respond, I have to be that someone else, I [[deserve->mapology]] to be, to suffer it, to take on all your ire, have that righteous hate eradicate my... how can I pretend to..." "Leiru."

"Yeah, there's, it's been a lot," I. "I've been, with the Veda, they taught me so much, that is, one of the Veda, I've learned so much from her, she's taken my material and changed it into some relic worth its role in the ceremony, I've, yeah, we've been talking a lot, she's actually really wise, she's not, she's not whatever it is they think she is, they're not, they're so much more than I can recognize. I know it sounds weird to hear me say it about them, but also, doesn't, doesn't it in some way feel absolutely honest to who I've been, and that's the whole thing, who I have been, that's, otherwise I would let myself be annihilated entirely by them, emerge smiling whatever aesthetic of being they fit my corpse into, but I cannot in good conscience pretend that divide when I'm still morally anchored here, in this, what I've, and I've [[done->mapology]] so much, no, I have, you know I have, to you and Kaiya..." "Leiru."

Micromalleability of mien to mean haunts her every tic: semipouts that could pierce the heart, laughlines quivering with what? Having known Mariena for years, inability to know her terror. Could as easily pounce or smile, wilting beneath either submissive. Knitting complex pathies her brow, begging of each wordset to simplify survivable the gauge measured. "So you’re back. Hard to believe you’re back." How to, that, ah! "Yes, um," was all I managed. "Wondered leh would you ever return, you know like as all the chatabouts of ascending never is it really, which was what was so surreal, waiting genuinely, and the longer so, the more abstract, until the waiting became fantasy true, restlessness spasming to sober deadened. We did discuss it, your not returning, eyeh the near guarantee of it, but Olyasz, or Captain so, he wouldn’t budge a bit, like he’d been anchored unto time. How were we to know there was a top, or if was that you could in human spans ascend and resume lor, like what even is a Veda hey, yeah there’s the ones what consigned us this predicament, but they’re just a ghost, one of the little things bandied about as if anything exists, but not so sure as you’ve never seen, only mumbles from our cousin, how he saw one milling about Docks, arguing with Mazyu about how they, uh…" Fevershock sweat bumbled out an [[apology->mapology]] garbled so she at first struggled to discern before tensing to deny.

"How's Yakacza?" Tinny hollow sound. "He's, fine," a nod or a need to kneel. "I'm surprised he did so well for himself on ascension." She reclined on the wall, looking at the midway between the brewing and me. Perfect semisickle shade emerging from the wall, no eyes to stare. "Yakacza can be a bit much ah, and he's not as physical as you guys. I thought, I mean, it's hard on a guy like that." "He'd be horrified to hear." Mariena quietly mirthfully. "Most are to what others say. Poor Yakacza though. Ever since they shut down the theater, took it all with him, he's a hundred roles at once now, jesters and the heroes and too many of the villains. He'd always his bite, but now he's all fang. Really thought an ascension would prove too much." I said nothing since surely I had nothing to say. Panic's doppelganger stopped irresolutely in an inhale sigh, return to maybe, doubt, empty. Mariena made no rush to preserve the illusion. She watched lazily Imeni's serene, but I dare not. My lips sunk deeper into their sediment. The question was not what would I say, but why should I say it. What did, what did they care? Ah, but then the terror, the knowing, that maybe, they don't. They can't, but even, this is only, I mean it's only an [[apology->mapology]], I don't ask for them again, just, a nod, an okay, go die as you might. Untranslatable weeks, poetry gulf on whose neither shore no language trespassed. Jewel reflections of the nearby cloudcleaver could not be brought down half as illustrious: in this dank, steel room with this incessant routine hum, what would the jewel show? Me, and what good is that? Why can't I be left alone, no, but you're not leaving them alone, so utterly stupid, how did that thought even, burn me alive, I want to burn, burn this skin off. "But you've said the Veda talked to you? What are they like?" "It's..." It's what? What sentence did I have to share?

"No, Mariena, I have to apologize existentially for who I am and what I've done, and, and for you, Mazyu –" "Leiru! Stop! Just stop. Stop with this. Leave it eah, let it be a problem that doesn't involve you." "I was the one up there when they, both of them were on my –" "Were simply the sieve, has nothing to do with you as a person." "Yes it does! I mean, sorry, shouldn't shout ah. I'm, I'm not putting anything on me, but I deserve the scorn of both what I have willed and what I have participated in, even unwillingly, I own it all, I am the beast of every sin my skin has soaked in." "So you can move on if I absolve you? Fine, good. Apology accepted. Scatter free, may your wing never falter." "I don't, but you're not being serious!" "Nay bother gauging a tantrum its cause eh?" "I'm not! I'm..." "Listen kid, world [[scrapes->mscrapes]] as it moves aye, got nothing to do with you save your delusional world where you are everything." "No, but –" "But what? World would have been perfect without you eh? Everything would be the same and worse and better without you." "But you can't believe that, you're not, but that's so, [[pessimistic->mpessimistic]] –"

"Gods, might actually vomit hearing those old words. Can you believe it, but there's a million ideas in this world of which you boys were just two. Listen, I'm glad you had a good experience in the Tower or whatever, very pleased to it, sure Imeni is, why not, neither of us hate you mate. Neither of us even dislike you, Leiru, so don't come crashing in about our tears. You're askew, sure, but you're sincere, you try your best, fair to me. Now you're welcome to chat, we're both curious as your ascension went, sounds like it went somewhat ehm, but uh kill it on this other nonsense right, won't have it. Last damn thing I want to deal with, we clear? She's in pain, I'm starting a headache to match." "But I, but –" "Do you want a drink?" "Do I want a drink?" "Yeah. We got black and snooking tea. You want either?" "I, ehm, what? Yes. Okay, sure. Um?" "Which one?" "What?" "Black or snooking?" "I..." "Black it is, good call, rate it also." Curtness, a tenseness. Swallowed my lightheadedness. Small rooms quickly encapsulate. Though Mariena moved only a few paces away she seemed gone, lost in the foreignness of the cabinet, her turning away taking her away. My head sunk to the right. [[Imeni->mimeni4]]. Her smile thinned as it widened, dazed, languid, somewhat dreamy. She did not speak. Retreat locked my gaze at the metal between my feet seeing stained there my complete photo negative. The idea of leaving, of time transposing the borders to which I had condemned myself, misted up. Dry metal hum. Cursory sounds, the opening of tins, the filling of water, Mariena's rebuke. Her iron connectedness. Ruthless fixation on the tea, such savagery. With each passing awareness of Imeni more frantically heaving. Here no thought congress convened; we hulched thickly in the [[chafed->mchafed]] physical. The air clung. Too thick, too numerous, hurricaning in any blink of the guarded mouth.

Are you awake enough for tea?" Mariena, hand still on Imeni, that touch... Imeni with a breath struggled to speak, then compromised with a repeated nod. Mariena placed a mug on the adjacent table, handle toward Imeni, then sat and turned. "She's been getting much better since you all left, but she still needs slips under on spikes. She'll probably not, walk, but ehm, she'll be okay. That's what matters." I looked at her, and, I couldn't help it, I looked at her. All these years… off blew the cap asceticism, the suppressed frothed up in surges: there I was, and there she was, and I sighed like a scream. The darkness illuminating me, face contusioning in glee. I cried out of my wrists sticky sweat. "Listen, Leiru," Mariena, "I just, want to say, thanks." I couldn't think, so I didn't react. "Yeah, I mean, for saving her. I know you really risked yourself that. Means a lot to me, to her, too. She really appreciates it. She wanted me to let you know." The whites of my eyes swallowed the coloring splotch. There was a release like a break, the clinging grasp loosening to find sanctity in the freefall. As a [[ghost->mstart23]] I hovered over my supposedly own shoulder as I insect curled into myself, my multitongue mouth swirling spit and venom through the sharp saber gate as it fed on my stomach fat tunneling in, slathering cephalus lurching along the limbed segments connected by open tendon lines into my chest, inward, inward to hide in this host, to multiply in the intestines, wriggling maggot brood sheathed by simulacrum man. The creature nodded, said a few meaningless conciliations, Mariena approving, Imeni accidentally winking in the revealing of grateful teeth, the host shivered before it sipped on the tea to nourish me, to feed me the liberty I abjured in my gastric burrow. "It is, good to see her better, though," Emninu. "I mean, thank you, Mariena. I know these past few, this, however long it's been, I know things haven't been easy for you. Thank you for persevering." She nodded. "No, but, you did, so well. She looks great, as in healthy, getting better, that's what I mean. She's, I mean, I guess I haven't, but, you're obviously, so good, at, caring." "Whatever that compliment was supposed to be, I'll take it." "I'm, but I'm, or uh –" She stood up. "Well, suppose Imeni needs her sleep. You should come by sometime when she's a bit more awake. I'm sure she'd like to catch up." My hand rattled, my hand rattled, my hand rattled a beat against my thigh. "I'll try."

Imeni into my peripheral tinged the room vanilla. So sad, so easy to please. Don't embarrass yourself. I slumped in my chair, afraid to ruin it, afraid of this violence in such peace, wondering why I couldn't blend in, be in this room before I came in. Mariena handed a mug. "Cold eah. Don't get heat from these anymore." Taste's placation, ever so gently, so very gently, slowly soothed my nerves, rooting the world in some sense which did not flee from it, chest reinforced with wood. For a space no thought assailing. Mariena placed a hand on Imeni's forehead, and I observed. Thin rain illusion prevented contact. In their gazes a trade locked to my passage, intimacy that heated me to see, gross [[shame->mstart23]] licks sliming my collar meridians. I averted myself, clamping teeth, tingled by the yoke that pressed me so close. I wanted desperately to gasp, to clump on the floor in a ball, but my decency, their expectation, their excruciating awareness prevented this. Another sip dulled the edge, took another, restrained myself from a third. How did I get here? Why had I come?

Various autumnals interchanged as the door opened and let me out like air punching from a bellow. Abrasive the death knell rang the mood as in the cold flooded, and I shivered the drop from them to staring at dimly reflective steels confused and alone, the past minutes and the lifetimes lurching through them undissolved in my throat, tears waiting for a banner to shed. Was that Emninu, had I done something? What had I – My stomach caved under the kick, and I buckled over smashing faces with the [[sneering->msneering]] floor. I coughed instinctively, scarlet streaks accenting the colorless spit, and tried to push up, but a force pushed me down and like a slack string with a twang returning to [[tension->mtension]] my body bolted to conform to the pressure. Grime heaved into my mouth to clog the spit geyser.

"Ah, capable still of feelings, are you, traitor?" Leiska. Squirmed into a gasp which equilibrialized to ventilate rasps. "Betrayed your own Jaufrei, let him suffer for your amusement, did you?" Leiska spat on me. "Killed your husband for nothing eh dyenne, utter false your being in his last breath. Watched him scrabbling for mercy and leaked nary a drop to soothe. You're a snake as I'd never venture to voyage, another of Captain Myeri's mistakes. Thought to wheedle Captain Olyasz to discarding you, but thought better of it, thought there's still yet some designs for you." Kick to the sternum. "I allow you the right to have murdered Jaufrei, bothers me none the least, done me right a favor insofar, but you'll be sortieing no with our enemies whipcracking us hence, I'll assure of it. Believe you're sneaking about to suckle their venoms, do you? Not an iota astray in my grasp, [[crushcertain->mstart23]]. Surrender forth your little chats, only design have they for a worm such as what wriggles before me is a devious, what I cannot yet guess, but they're planning you to insurrect whenever necessary. I'll kill you then, be sure of it lah, you'll be dead the instant you defy." Leiska pumped my hand beneath his boot, then grabbed it to yank me up. "Off you go then to clockwork. Rower now yeah, haven't got the confidence to foreman you. Mylecz you'll find onbench, he'll keep you in check, blathers on so about his observances or what not. Just remember to keep you skull safely stapled to plan, or it'll shatter the tear." Shoved me into a gait. Sniffling like a child, sorry, sorry Jaufr, should have fierced a reply greater than felt within me capable, betrayed you again to submit to the beating, but I wanted to, didn't I, if I can't apologize to Mariena or Imeni, maybe just the physical penance of suffering can absolve, or, no, nothing does, nothing works and everything's worse, all because I have not yet accepted mission, but I will learn from you, Meluoi, lead me, I will hurt myself productive.

"Oh, that's medicine," Volya laughed. The left pit of my shirt yanked up, and I stared at a face through the shock fractals I dared not recognize, then the far wall reeled me in rough, my nape explosion center. Sunk to my knees before the thought of standing could simmer in, and a knee to my nose and an acute crunch sunk me to splaying. "Hey, so ponder this while you're down there: am I hitting you, or is human nature?" Kick punctuated question. "Eh? Get up, wisdom, delve into your poems, ead me before I hit you. Oh, but you're illiterate, you're a mongrel sage!" Several blows so rapidfire my brain could not [[individualize->mstart23]] them rollicked every conceivable surface of my crosseyed and panting. Volya picked me up, engaged me in a sidehug, walked my trembles at a casual pace. "You're just no fun, Leiru. You're so empty and meaningless that it's hard to take anything from you. It's like killing rats. Maybe that's why your kyauska, devour to fill the blankness inside. Hey, does that perchance sound poetic? Oh ah, do be sure to bring it up to the Veda in your next cuddle hour, you can claim it yours, I'm charitable. She'll love it, might even convince her to give you a peek." Volya threw me into the wall, catching me on my rebound stumble. "Do you have anything to say? No please, anything of the ilk? No?" Imeni, I want you to know, I'm sorry. I don't know the right way to be sorry, but whatever that way is, I want to be it. He slammed my forehead against the wall. There was a star, I could see it, a seven pointed star in blindingly seagreen. "Beg, if you want. I'm blessed with ears." My whole jaw was wet. No thoughts. "But not patience." Volya kicked out my legs, onto my back, my skull with a bang. "By gods, feel a new man lah!" Deep breath. "Ey so you're up shift. They sent me to tell you. Leiska says you're fourth bench, with, uhm, don't know, you're fourth bench. He said you were up in ten, but maybe I dallied for awhile, then we had this chat, so you might be overdue. Here, get up. Don't leave the poor dyenne sweating by himself now." Volya offered a hand. Serpent orbs inscrutably. With a resigned cough I acquiesced, dourly surrendering to the equanimity of fangs and lift. He threw me up, patted me on the back, offered me a chunk of bread, then pushed me down the dark hallway as it shook port solemnly as if to lead me to the deep.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Disappearances juxtapose jagged the irruptive Inviolability entheme force loaded in each apparition disvinced Disparately rayscattered on compilativenn irreducibles Abrogation of accreted conjugates codeterminative Vented out of fomenteds fumerole accrual of burialoss Abraiding centrality for its accented burdening codifying Coversions of control that captures reciprocals in values Articulated as unified in a recompiled essence, Covenns of ensual converting all capacity to valences Circulating possibilities network modifying through transmissional orbit jumps, [[Inhabitations->mparticipation]] which concentrate deep presence to territories, Circuitry overlapping delimited domains to interconnect the jumbled…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Nothing quite adds up when you’re inside, Assert this compromised to its finality fracture, Notarize your [[participation->mparticipation]] to authentice system insert, March your inseminated certainty its death drive Killing every exceptive object mislocusing your locustly Mars of chiastic identity opposition combine reaping drinking Drilling deep into compulsion its hordes and you worst of all Allegenced to the driveil fashioner you fascism Dripping with needs that must externally genuine overpower allergies…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Everything I manifest multiplies preengagement forces, Courses endless the method of making relaying Everpressed to distribute to inundated individuated formal, Networks of knowing deeper then consciousness Attuning the body to its proclivities a destiny Netal connexus procedurally reinstating the determinative confinements Congruating with emergent spaces constrictive native, Fundamental aperture of our captive primel Convertible nomeral perpetuates the condemnation natal Spoken from the crowd in our wheeling crush, Racing around the obelisk in prayerself incensus, Spontaneous recombination plunging suddenly our collective to crux…"] Blackberry sigh her relaxing from chanting melancholy suddenlied her mien puzzletroubled. Berakh and Meluoi spoke at length in the language. Voluminous yawned a colossus entwined countless with lights whispering trovely. She turned to me gravely. "They shall not understand your arisen to Yamicz, Emninu. Prepare yourself for [[juxtaposition->malienation]] sickness, strengthen resilient against its normative enforcements, you are leaning out of the replicatiscape to discern where hymns your destiny."

"I can't look out without gazing upon the gore, and I'm imprisoned in my filth body, sludge mind. I'm sorry it was me, this essence with which I am and deserve to be damned, that once smothered you with preservation. I am a child that should have been smashed upon the stones, I am a beast that should have been leashed by deep stillness, and my approach to another when I knew who I was is my stained glass filtering each dawn's philter. No matter what I pretend to make of my [[strained->mapologize]] now, still I surge this conduit to all my countless... there are no survivors of their once." "Emnin –" "Like a scar this stays, the knowledge that you know me. I can suppose myself anyone, but I will always be the one who once was to you, that collapses the selving projection, the injection of forced in this place unfree in my known. So I kneel inside my known and accept its encircling, but I will delve into its viscera and find in its forbidden tangles the root heart of this hell and strangle its pulses, so that in its strange death may there bloom a new tone, unknown, in the last phantom gasp a gem gleam, pyreglow pure. In this cause cauterized in the name of my ghosts, the one that haunts me most is you, my doomed zenith when I dreamed I could bring joy, only to collapse into the confusions native to my name." "You are certainly still you." "I don't ask for –" "No. Emnin, no, I get it. That's an apology. Yes, I heard."

"Sorry, I just, I can't, Imeni. I wish I had it in me to be what you, what, but I, this…" "Oh gods I –" "No but, just this one time let me. I want there to be one time, and I'm sorry if it has to be now, but it has to be, for me, I have no other time." "Emnin..." "I have to be honestly subsequence. I must [[apologize->mapologize]]. I apologize. I am sorry for everything I have ever been to you, including this. I don't need to say what we both feel harder than knowing ever reveals. I'm sorry about me to you. I want, I want not just to apologize, but to wholly strip this being from existence before you, to absolutely erase myself in the shadow of once was, to outecho my metronome remembrance. There are things I feel suddenly free to do, and I do them for you, for you, though I do it for everyone. Still living, still thinking I can leave my wake into some other happiness, that I have the right to a different name, no. I will die as what I am, so my soul may join my body in my damnation. I wish I had been different, but I see this end, and I must finish it in penance." "Emnin..."

She set the mug down. "What I do not get is how you expect to [[apologize->mapologize2]] for a sin you're still [[committing->mcommitting]]." "What? I –" "No. Listen to me. Please just, turn off your wheeling moral core for a second, and focus with me on this [[tangibility->mtangibility]], this terror we must [[continuance->mcontinuance]]. Stop generating your personal [[gravity->mgravity2]], let me fly as I choose. You want to talk about it, okay, let's talk about it, let's break ourselves talking about it! Any [[self->mself]] so [[recomposed->mrecomposed]] smashed again on [[regrets->mregrets]]! "

Seen and seenthrough, transparency minima in which we dwell. Thorough throughgaze destructive transit, burned and salted, weeping hollow its briefly impresenced chosen to be left, and you’re just left there. Place someone can decide no, no recoursing. Ripped apart to my least component, leastness emphasized in how it all fails to add up. Deserved. Deserved. Your agony will be bent to serve. Thank you, no greater blessing than penance. "Anyway Emnin, I just wanted to say thank you for, I know it was difficult to try and, you know, I’m glad to be alive…" "No, it’s the, the least I can do, least… listen, Imeni, I need to [[apologize->mapologize]], just once, just eternally, to render -" "Emnin, it’s -" "I really just need to, to…" "Eah o!"

"Stop dizzying everyone else around you with your constant need for vertigo, though I guess I can't blame you, the center of all gravity, puerile, puerile, facile, every deed you do flows out of you alone, what a privilege! An ink jetting in its own blotches, mixing until nothing remains inviolate; all the ghosts formed trace their root tendrils to you, the conduit you declare yourself: baleful hypernecessary you. Don't you see how annoying, how arrogant that is? You are the match that spits out fires! If we burn we have you to blame lah, we're just the tinder awaiting your emotional overcharge. You are why we cannot sleep, nor laugh, nor sob, nor whatever your violence steals, and even when you want us to be something, when you made me some kind of I doll you could worship, you do it only so you can play out your own inner drama on a larger stage, people your pawns and symbols. No matter if I refused to predicate myself from your beginning, you'd just orient that in your own ego engine to selfdelusion. I'm sure you have some complex reason why you're always digging into souls to set up your ejections, but I won't be tunneled into, I am me outside your summation, your riptide. Of course I'm sure you ignored that, or somehow managed to metasublimate that, made my refusal to be predicated on you a demonstration of your overreach in predicating others, and there you are, the subject of the sentence again. I mean think about it: you made me an idol: you made me, do you see? You made me a wrecked history with you its revolting author, can I even be the subtext, is there ever a sign for me, or am I just what's left out in your needing? Now you want to make me a judge to damn you, Emnin the great devourer, so that my symbolic judgment can fuel the next part of your hypernecessary moral progress, because I guess you took my rejection of you as mostly the last word, so now I must ceremonially affirm it, or redouble it, or what ehh, so that you'll be certain this time I exist for you. Do I have a face? I keep asking the mirror that, but it seems I get conflicting results! Okay so yes, I cast my judgment on you, gods Emnin you are so evil because whatever your reason is, scene cut, fade me out, off you go in your head thinking. Should I even be speaking right now, haven't yet I read the lines you've written for me, because of course you don't want me to speak, you want me to repeat, and it's not because I'm particularly independent, or stronghearted, or whatever virtue you're going to be quick to praise me with, not even because I hate you, that I refuse your reductives, but because I'm not going to live my life living some shade of yours. You come in here, trying to make my injury, and it's mine, I get to have it, I will deal with it myself, but you come in here trying to turn my misfortune into another chapter in your story. I'm sure you didn't come here to cheer me up ahaha, that would mean I suffer on my own without you, how ludicrous! Besides, what good is talking to me if it's me that talks back? So don't waltz in to demand from me this tripe about fulfilling your cosmic ordinance or else nonsense, because all you're doing is recoursing into the original structure but from a different path. I am still Imeni and never a me to be with. Boka. Ask yourself, why have you really come, Emnin: to talk to me or to force me to listen to your inner struggle? Nothing like a former lover's pity is there? The ultimate balm! That'll really cheer you up, even if I have to lift up my aching body and stay [[conscious->mstart23]] long enough to croak it out for you. This apologizing you pretend to do requires a humility you don't have, and I would know, having suffered through all its countless masquerades. You possess a massive inverse pride, that's why you feel you have to suck everyone in all the time. Everything that occurs with you is to you, is an elaborate pageantry in which you are a principal, in which you weigh your words with the world at gambit. People mean something to you and never gods forbid the reverse! You hang over us, meaning's final arbiter: we symbols of your struggle must content ourselves with scrabbling at peripherals. This Imeni you worship, pine for, regret having hurt, I've never met her, she's not here, because whoever this body is absolutely refuses to be an ancillary consequence of your actions, Emnin. Yes, parts of our relationship hurt me to think back on, but there are parts of it I loved, some of those moments were the happiest of my life, and you can't ruin that for me, none of your whining will take away what I took away, because it's me that treasures those experiences, it's me that gets to dream them again whenever I want to, need to, puppet your memory for whatever my inner needs are. I retain the pure past that is not your domain. Does it anger you that I act of my own accord? Is that too presumptuous? Well while I'm being arrogant, maybe, maybe you're a symbol of me, maybe I should wrack myself with guilt at having left you in such a state eh, grieve myself your each tear some bizarre inverse parasite. I wonder, can I sleep, knowing you can't sleep because I can't sleep, shall you then never sleep for my not sleeping your not sleeping, which of course will keep me awake? How callous of me!"

"You're noxious selfobsessiveness breaking itself on my continued existence, ah, how cruelly I persist, wouldn't it be better if I just died so I could be a pure symbol, like Kaiya?" "Don't you, please, don't –" "Don't what? Live with myself? Be other than the infinitely kind other that orients your experience around some purity orb shedding lights into your depthless shadows? Please. Let me tear off this membrane that locks your sight inside, since gods know you need to get out more. I'm sure my smile means a million things to you, but it's not purity, not naivety, it's nothing but pure me, a thing which cannot be distilled to a relation. I have moved beyond you, and whatever you're feeling doesn't have to dictate my every facial expression. I don't hang on your every word, your ridiculous mood swings don't have to hurt me anymore. There's not a person on this earth who can be responsible for your happiness, but it sure as hell won't be me that tries, because I did try, and it was horrible, you're right, it did hurt me a lot to figure that out, maybe you can authenticity some guilty there, then maybe I can feel guilty about making you feel guilty about that, and we can even keep that little bit of sadness as a fond remembrance between us, but that pain, all the suffering you've done to me, that is now embodied and rendered out in a life you can never touch nor apologize to. I am a Tower who's shadow you can never sail under. I am the sky which still shines no matter how much you rain from it. I'm my own compass, so you can shut up and smile and deal with that, because you can never navigate to where I point. I smile because I smile, won't stop to better fit your [[melancholia->mstart23]], and all this apology artifice has no effect on that, your sin has been eradicated in my consuming essence. Your guilt will hang above you if you're moral, which I know you are, but it will never hang above me, you cannot threaten me with an apology, because now you were merely a failed lover, though I hate to knock over your backdrops, they're so beautifully drawn, but if they're false, they're false. You're not some lumbering sin titan, there's no grandeur here. Everything you did is mundane, banal, pathetic, as ridiculous as we all are innately by being human, and now you're so far beneath me that I cannot help but laugh at your passing. Human beings are worthless but being stuck human beings we must imagine we matter. Whatever fantasies compel your delusion to purpose, confine them to your crypt, so we need not dye your stains."

"I hate everything about you that brings this moment about! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your will to apologize, and I appreciate that it pains you to pain another, that's a good thing, but if you really understood the reality around you, then you would know that it does me a great deal more pain to have to deal with this apology than whatever you thought it would ameliorate, because a wound grown over is best unmended. I don't want to yell at you, Emnin, I hate this, want to dream with you like we used to, put things at peace with us, but you won't let me, you make me yell at you, and it's just so, it's as frustrating as it always was. Obviously we're not meant for each other, but you're a decent person, and I like you, I do, and I appreciate how much you risked for me out there, I'm immensely grateful that I'm still alive, and I have you to thank for your part in that, however small or large it was, and I really do keep a lot of amazing memories from the old days. Yes, you've hurt me, but you've also given me so much, as I know I have hurt you but given you so much. That's what relationships are, they're the grief and the bliss from knowing another chaos. I want us to live as friends atop the old battlegrounds, but instead you do stupid stuff like this, and now we're yelling, and I know, because I know you Emnin, soon you'll go off and cry yourself deeper into your mess. No offense, but I know you. So please, stop barging in here with your nonsense, I want you to come and chat with me, I would love it if you came in here and hung out, but if you seek to consume me in your narrative, to make me a figment of your destiny, then once again I won't allow you. A real apology is sent by moments, not pleas, so if you're different, act like it, because right now you don't look it, you look an exact resemblance. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's true. The apology that you're offering me is worthless. Real penance is forging better memories to replace the bitter ones, and if you're not here to do that, then as far as I can see you have no reason to be here. "And don't you submit. Don't you plunge into your selfhating pity with this. Don't chase your ego into its web. Please wake up, Emnin, fjelske, please, exist in a world where you are a person among people, is that so hard? Dwell with others in a mutual alive. I don't say this to trivialize you, to humiliate you, well a little honestly, but it's just that you're hard to talk to, because everything I say is instantly transliterated into some obscure game where you always lose. If I submit to you, you declare yourself a sacker of capitols and abjure the relentless evil inside. If I rebuff you, you use it as fuel for the pyre on which you cast everything you. If I ignore you, it's taken as a sign of hate, you append it to your selfhate and deeper you delve into your peculiar miseries. Don't you see? Every answer is a trap in your loathing. You've taken the idea that you made me an idea and you made it an idea. You just keep sucking inward. Will I ever get to be human? Do you see me or only what I represent? Be honest: who are you apologizing to, this woman here or the woman in your head? I ask, because apologizing to one insults the other, and right now? I'm insulted." What is the purpose of knowing anything about anything when none of it ever matters the same way in different rooms. There's so little space between your skin and your skull and your skull and your brain, why not let it all bleed together. That's all there is to give when nothing is wanted from you. That's all there is, the [[absences->mstart23]] between us. "How have you been, Imeni?" "I've been miserable, Emnin." We talked.

"You are so obsessed with your interiority that you miss the countless interiorities occurring around you, so let me edify you with mine, let me assure you that in my interiority you were but a stage in a procession of many, a thing that once was, now past, and if I looked back from where I stand now not even a squint could still see what I abandoned there. You tell me you're new now because of ascending the Tower. Fine, but you ram in here expecting me to be the same you left. Our directions are different now, and each step we take towards our separate futures stretches the gulf between us that much wider, so the thousand different mes and the thousand different yous, we're ten thousand people away. You're trying to impose yesterday on a tomorrow you haven't even begun to fathom, it's ludicrous, I wouldn't believe anyone could make such a bizarre mistake except you, because however much you've changed, this conversation is still so incredibly Emnin that it almost makes me nostalgic. "You are nothing to me anymore, do you understand what that means, to be nothing, to not even exist, that you only come into being through this selfirruptive violence? You have no power, reign nowhere, your sin is irrelevant to my existence. I thrive on the person I have built of your miserymaking, I have traveled so much further than you allowed, and your apologies, you desperate attempts at relevancy, crash before me, queen of a complete. I don't hate you anymore, would be like hating a ghost, and you are a ghost, whatever you are, some apparition that appears to exist, but when you go to touch, disappears. Torturer of [[instabilities->mstart23]], it doesn't surprise me in the least your drive is generated from your agony at stability, at having to bear responsibility, but you want responsibility, the feeling of being something, but you're nothing, your fundamental problem is the absence of you, and that will never heal, I won't heal it, and I'm done suffering your fantasies parasitic."

"How can I punch through to you? You’re not where I want to hurt you, but I don’t know how to tangibilize you otherwise, you don’t exist outside the anxiety, the anxiety itself substantiates you, selfmanifesting operation that parasitically hyperfocuses on emotive material which can be injected with agonies of agency. I can’t escape your [[amortization->mstart23]] of flesh! Every thought engaged with you is measured insofar as it corresponds in contours clawed out predated, sole role response is suffering jouissance that veils your vampirism as undeath. You’re virusing me, even now, even apologizing, worst leh your ravenous moralities, their selfish bloateds incapable of caring, you’re fundamentally disgusting, increasingly coming to believe incurable, a monstrosity that should not have been born, what little I appreciate of your whinescreeching is the selfawareness, acceding disgust as you devour, because that at least I’ve learned is not cynicism, it’s not alas so’s to me as you bloodbathe, you genuinely suffer yourself independently of the fretted networks of others replicating a self for you to suffer, but that pity is the abyssal light dangling before the maw, you’ve eaten of me being, and I can never not hate you for the whole, am not satisfied by any equivalency of wounds. I wish I could kill you in a way where your sniveling sadism wouldn’t win, wouldn’t nightmare its obnoxious grin! Or maybe I don’t, I don’t know, I don’t know! I shouldn’t have to know, I should just be able to go to sleep, maybe die in a way you wouldn’t snivel hound my grave like Kaiya, like Jaufr, like -" "Hey, hey, you can’t, don’t -" "I will whatever I want and you will shut up! Dictating to me terms of your apology, imagine so you fevered your penance submissive eyeh, uppitying to me now what I can and can’t do, you’ll seal your jaw glued and bow when I slap you, devil of these fetid feelings! I’ll break your breaking in half!" "I’m sorry, I -" "Absolutely you’re sorry, hang your head beisza! Or I don’t, dammit, now I’m the one whose yelling, you always do this to me! Just… please, leave forever." "Okay. Okay."

"Absolve you of my existence, assure, I waive my persist, forget me forthwith." "No, I don’t mean like -" "No yeah, can’t keep up lie you compile differently when presented with an outcome, we’re leveled the agree, I’ll shadow my memoring hence." "It’s not about forgetting hey, not moving on nor, or, but about like reprocessing -" "But I’d rather just forget! Wouldn’t it be great if you could forget me, I could forget you? Why all this lingering doubt worse than it was? Nothing is availed of our continual abrasive. Cycled around our regrets til we acquiesce them gravity. Errata defined our each issue: would thank you for helping me, did it not puncture the burials. Can’t even look at you now without meaning some painstaked false. No freedom from you while you, why your apologies don’t work. Whatever palliative you reap from my releasing you, relish, revel, [[croon->mstart23]] to the moon! Leave in glistening futurity our eternal sunder, only in the rupture can we heal." "It’s not that easy!" "Of course not, endure we our daily pain deserved. You don’t think I know how hard it is hor, you don’t think I toil my thousand regrets? Having hurt you all my little thoughtlesses, my every unspeakable sin, and you don’t reproach me to reciprocal apology? Certain then you don’t treat me equal, you believe only your humanity deep enough to inflict, you scoundrel satan. Penance is everyone’s worse added up to blessed nothing. All so I’m to hope, I can austerity myself zero. In frigid nullity, mutual apology; our liberated from each other, spiraling each our own destructive, casts us forth the journey. Only in us gone forever the spirit resembles." "I think I understand." "I don’t care if you do, it’s too late for me to. Thank you; apology accepted; you are obliterated, scatter."

"The fundamental essence of what must occur is you shutting up forever, which I don’t want, because I like you messy, I just hate having to be the one to deal with it. When Jaufr was the one dealing with you, you were so much more alive to me, shame he wouldn’t take the assignment. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lor that I can’t fix it and you’re free, but given that you won’t listen, I won’t bother introspecting. You’re a failure and a thief, Emnin, the former I commiserate, the latter I envy except as I’m whose stolen. Wish you would silence into it grateful, but you’re only suffering, everything about you is the worsening, you are causality of the gulitspiral. I don’t mind being hurt so long as we can flair it, but sniveling pseudomoral skincrawler you sludge the sadness stupid. I hate having to know you exist in a tangible way that personally affects me. I wish you would disappear, I want that for you, you’d be so much happier." I wasn’t quite sure what to say, which sagged my dramatic, sighed gravelly. "This apology is you in apogee, submission totalitarian cannibal. Your apology is why I hate you. I would hate you less were you anyone else, because I love you, Emnin, in the same way I joyfully hurt myself by squandering my last clink to drink, as I wish I could turn back time to [[erase->mstart23]] the love, there should only be hate between us, it would build us better than this impasse. We could be beautiful rivals, and you’ve ruined it. Nothing of us will ever be beautiful, not even the pain. Apologize to the dusts we became."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXIII''] --- [[Futility->mfutility]], wouldn't perfect be you could [[admit->madmit]] and release? Nobility in [[relinquish->mrelinquish]], pathe withered permanence delusion, demanding of sleep its cease, that's why I don't sleep at night, I'll lose [[consciousness->mconsciousness]] yes absolutely it will be the final joy of my life to lose this final bind, then you lose loss, what else to animate you then? That's why people die, is their capacity to die [[dies->mdies2]]. But if I have lost the capacity to die and just kind of keep on? What does that mean? How do I return to white knuckle nausea of being, so death can come for me finally? //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXIV''] --- Into the tumbling the frustrated disseminated hacks at its isolation to glimpse its vulnerability. Molten gray welter brain venting. I engulf, in a gulf. Buried in the I sense, that is what I sense. [[Inchoate->minchoate]] elision of the deformative torsion erupting my unity; give me the one word to solve it; no, emission not language, omission of your own lack of exclusion. Brittle earth breaks away, monolith figments melted in the endless waters drowning the challenger to ubiquity and its airless final assiduity. Focus on raising your arms right. Hot buzzing in my left eye temporarily blinded. Focus on rowing, you machine. The only way to think involves yourself; if you wish you could circumvent the gap, you are lying. Hate sealant of the severed sense bottling yourself in. You should hate your self that forces you to think. Each new thought is each new second you cannot break from capsulative penance. In the acts you are [[circumscribed->mcircumscribed]], remain circumscribed, never pulse unencumbered. Search a way to [[proceed->mproceed]] in ideation without forced recourse to the cycling of I and therefore to find the brink, figment dancer slush motion stepping through the primitive hollow with shoulders swaying in a lag with the hips, the sound of a million people [[whisper->mwhisper]] clapping. Outer fire avataring the inskin storm... what? Rusted swallower of everything I refuse to be set in. Near me are bodies moving, how do I become that? Formative mars swooping jacinth current in juice streaks starched to anemic pallor deathstalked. You have been hidden from, not as you, but as you must be you. Ambiguities of belonging we confuse with faces. The time may come when it's all not but here it is with everything and so endure. Undulating from arch to hunch in rhythm with the sea foam. Our bowing pointing us to grave commons, limbs aching the demand's eternal remove. Leiska leaning with uncommon balance in the quaking calls out the rhythm of the continual heave, push, heave, push, heave, push, no longer heard. [[Heave->mheave]]. Pain. Ho. In the muscles acid wane. Seize jealous slams against the hull. Dead fingernail whine of the accelerator nestling in my eyesockets above, semibehind the ball... sweat the machine increasingly resembles. Soreness relentlessly needled into the ball of my throat. Oar revolutions simply rubbed through my palm, no grip commanding it. Squiggling something inside seeking exit through every pore at once. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

"I think," [[scrunched->mscrunched]] my face, "think I might faint." Mylecz echoed strangled thunder. "Through the shift, just hold on, you'll..." "I..." "But you're... ele... lee... dya, kuty..." Guest second with a grinning host leading to the chained door. Behind it pumping vascular: "I'm sick," pushed blast between grit teeth. Up in the [[row->mrow]], down in the, up... Oar not in my hands?

Mouth salival fluorides bittersweet bitters to mix the mulch of mumbles. Row, maybe that will heal the tang spice. Pounding, but we keep [[on->mproceed]]. Rigor mortis grip [[around->mcircumscribed]] a large contour, what is it that [[throbs->mscrunched]] this brain if not [[pulse->mpulse]]? Rowing, sweating.

Blood moated the tooth. Throat gunk, and so dazed. Time's slave, forced in his march. "You can't keep getting in fights," Kaiya. "You're not good at them." Sideways lids blinking but when I opened a dot in the upper right field of my vision was at a different magnification from the rest, sunk into its scabbed over, stuck in ultraclarity fishbowl lensing beating on the walls to stop the shapes. Yes I said I said to go... but my neck hardened to yank me back, I was sitting, sitting, that's what I was doing, wasn't I sitting? Yes, there are my palms. Isn't this what you wanted? You're always boring us with these babbled pleas to be beaten, now you are, why don't you rejoice? Where was the joy in Volya throwing you against the wall, brief apparition of divine justice? But it's hard to feel much of anything but your skull crunching when your skull crunches. You start bleeding, and it all goes away, and that's why, isn't it, I always want them to hit me, the fleeting peace, the irretrievable zen of being beaten, dissociation finally with a cause, to be able to step outside of yourself and stand there arms crossed with yourself and nod and say, yes, I see what you mean, which of course means that it's not about justice, it's about your feelings, as always, you have no feelings but your reactions to ones you could have. No, that's all, you dodged the question, I was asking why aren't you happy, like whatever is why you should be happy, but you aren't, you got what you always asked for and still find it a valley from which to whine. Yes. I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm a hypocrite, I admit it, I surrender, sorry. There, was that so hard? Apparently. A headache or a hurricane, which would you rather? "Look like you've been through it," rippled the grime burgundy. I attempted an explanation, but all I said was Volya. "Yeah," Mylecz nodded. "He's been unusually himself lately... dya, nee... thought he might take it out on someone. But I mean it's just, you know, his brother..." I am ice cold and super hot at the same time. Ice in my left jowl, top and bottom parts of my throat but not the middle which melts me, [[fever->mfever2]] but icicle eyes, the whites are frost. Skull beneath the hair, I know it's there, and why does a thing seem larger and smaller... "He really looked up to his brother... never put it into words, don't think, but he [[idolized->midolized]] Vasya." I felt like I saw myself staring at him like a dead fish. "Like you and Jaufrei."

"Nah to it wrong, didn't idolize him," blurted as if dying, "but I just, it's, respected him the way he should have, been, Jaufr. So intelligent was he really, yet nobody, was robbed of himself so, an injustice I cannot forgive this, not fair yah. I did, but like you're right to some poisonous degree, who could not? Was smart, Jaufr, witty, persuasive, built up shelter ideas to occlude fears, always made things feel in you right even when they just got worse and worse was his skill, why they couldn't throw him away to stop him from being so much, to carry from its boiling rapids steam unstolen. He, he, and whatever he, he at least had the chance, and I, and without Jaufr, I, but I will die, I know I will, I am now, slowly, and never the understand, nothing nobody in the forever never carried any further, engraved doppelgangers on my sepulcher... if not even Jaufr, and I did idolize him, I did, and if Jaufr meant nothing, well from the identical vine I will wither with him, no distinction. They belittle me, crush me, and I cannot solve their imposition. At least he argued! He had that in him, what I don't, a will to be hated. I'm not though, that I am alone like I am, I know it's my fault, I can't pin it anywhere else, the things that've happened, may've been misfortune, but they are my, not entirely, I will not weasel into being powerless, because I know I have had an effect, that is my curse, to know nothing I will ever become will be clean of who or what I am, of what I am which I wish was not alive, and maybe even that's my fault, that this, this is the first, ahh, where is the sky, do you ever find it, in the, where I'm trying to say is, into the [[suppressing->msuppressing]] quiet a neverheard I mumble, you know, I don't want anyone to look at me, and yet what does that, isn't that the world's biggest conceit, oh you're the contextless observer, nobody gets the chance to look at you though minutize us at your will please sir, doll us into your scenes, and I know because I've been it, but there's also, but and that's the thing about cynicism aye, it's always the kneejerk easy way, that first acid thought the moment your superiority occurs, so I'm not trying to be cynical, that's the very last thing I long to be, but whenever I try to take the sincere route it's always this sniveling nowhere that annoys everyone, maybe that's why we're cynical, because the alternative is so much worse, having to actually sound like ourselves, come to grips with the fact that being born you doesn't guarantee you are good, or likable, or a model for anything, or even a neutral moral slate on which you can draw, but that you are by nature terrifying, and unexceptionally so, and that means admitting you are the nothing no one, that when you are unlikable, it's because you deserve to be. You don't get to be pretty in your petty, you are merely your always pathetic; the revulsion we feel should speak to us, that innate, unquenchable desire for what appears to be gone, and that's the primordial sin of existence, not being not, and we must suffer all the ways we are not not, and sincerity, the acquiescence of annihilates, it's always this, this cheap kneejerk easy way out, the first sad thought when your inferiority occurs, like, oh that's not me, oh my, oh let me apologize, and that's the grossest thing, apologizing, isn't it, right, like it has to be, must be, admitting what you are with this invisible grin conceit that that's not actually you, you really are this unseeable conviction recognizing wronghood, no, never apologize for something, but abstain from being yourself, because that's the remedy to sin, and sin is not this disembodied something out there that latched its hooks on you and started suckling which you can purge from your body with a single go. Sin is you. Apologizing for yourself, while you still sit there with the same face, how wretched can we be? That inverse grin even sharper because it's invisible. I look at her, at someone, when I apologize, and pretend I'm returning to rightful me, just, I wish there was a ghost that would jam me back in this body whenever I dream my way out of it, and whatever it does, that I am not guilty for all of it, and I know guilty sounds harsh, like oh gods don't be guilty, oh you sad, poor thing, but it's not, we're all ontically guilty, every one of us is guilty from the start and only sometimes are we convicted. I am a gross person, and I mean that in full emphasis of the word am, of the longform am, who unfolds in unexpectations through the years that gap us to missing, and when I say, when I say I hate myself it's not this silly narcissistic pity that wants to suck dry your tears to replenish mine, I mean it, I mean it from the very core of my being that I wish I had never been there to profess it, that my entire existence is by its nature disgusting, and I'm the one to blame for it, and I..." Creak of the wooden bench. Rock of the ship into another creak of the wooden bench. "Hmm," some sort of blanched emotion. "Sounds like you've got a lot going." If these legs would hold, if these arms could clear: run ondecks to steal enough air to replace this growing hole.

Lapis lazuli loom budded peek yellow red ruptured at the rocking trough the lurking glow gray low lidded single eye stare to bleed a char. Ants scrabbling over lumps of their own [[blotching->mbesmirches]] blending in and out of their mass undulation with three separate asynchronously bulging and blurring subcurrents slowly sinking the summit to spread the sewing of my gambit's disorder, molten reeling I raw rent the curtain to glimpse the golden idol nothing, ah! Round up every exhale, let none of this dread revelation render into the air a bleak corrosive core clump pulsating just to spite its poor heart image... "Alright so? Look as you've taken quite the, uh..." In the scream of soaring I threw to hyperventilating past [[lucidity->mwhisper]] to the muddle again, leaned back to catch the missed shaping, yes, in this pose am I awake, wideeyed is awake. Break through, break through, I can't hold this. I won't! Here's a moment you can cried, tried to prevent the ledge from giving way to the long fall in the dusky haze to gloom haunts, blisteringly openly aware, burn this in, speak this out, be. Drowned struggler over a crimson baked surface in arid air. Will to sieve lost to walk dripping naked from the shade cover –

"But, I mean, everyone kinda feels like that, yeah?" Mylecz. Something like: what? But more words with less breath. "To feel trapped by others. We're all trapped. Hell, look at Doubo. Who is Doubo? When he dies, when he stops rowing, what'll we think of him? And is that too optimistic a question? Course it is, we're all misunderstandings. Who he is is a question we can never answer if we are even wise enough to ask. So much is impossible to say, and in the wailstrom, who listens? Who's really more of what isn't playing in their heads? And the thing is, being in yourself, that's not a crime, there's nothing wrong with being stuck since we all are. There's no way to help it. Nobody owes it to you to catch you, to categorize you. If people not getting you hurts, I mean, all I've got for you is terrible news." Consigned to a worse and softer death I mumbled: "I am a monster that nobody will help me slay." Mylecz did not answer and in his rhythmic rowing [[contemplation->mstart25]] scabbed over the migraine. Fears tumbled in the slickening join of my intestines and throat where they burned in saltfires. Mylecz's awareness made me nauseous, wanted to melt and slosh across the damp to some hole where I could drain through and sink past the past to the border of some ancient now, some viridian stonesea on which to lie sweltering under worthless stars. Mylecz shrugged and handed me back the oar.

Shadow of the full [[representation->mrepresentation]] [[blazing->mblazing]] out half trails: what is elided is not lost but reinscribed in your heartache: you are the emptiness says invisible also you in the corner fetal [[rocking->mrocking]]. Drip with the open idea that you are in the hole over which you precariously perch into which you scream dread scrolls. Would that mean you are still the crime after the guilt and before the impossible recognition which to recognize would erupt you as this sort of thought insists? Welcome back to your real frozen heart.

Fireworks fizzling overdrawn hours long echoes thickens the postglow smoke to refuse the hues roar's return, postpossible dismantled phenomenon shrunken into the night riveted with right below human sight thessaline blankets, iridescent pump in my chest stop your beating to recognize the rhythm coursing through me seizing unchallenged by your stop. Gloaming gargantuans crouched on the horizon soaking in what rays interlocate hyacinth reserve in the thimbling wind, spent intrust which pokes what ashed imprint lines me after cohesive's explication, shardlands sewn along a jagged crag [[misplacement->mbalance]] in mosaic blurjoins native to my heaving want unsunned, years of brackish rejection piety at which the titans sneer their everpure. What can I shrug, what prevents me from piecing together, I am cut in the clicking of the lights spilled by the ship rocking restless as me.

Ruinbrain dull me, let the lines bleed. Light piercing sinks these pupils to the inner shade whispers. Don't not need no taste nor thought. Chugging veins. Let the ceiling swing this floor blur enough to feel this fall even fleetingly like embrace. Little fingernails playfully digging at the steel not for entrance but to remind the barely protected of distinction's thinness, differance infusions retroactives of our exclusionally in stability. Stolid bodies with poor postures over mugs less than full of almost hot water maintaining constant semispill threatens in the sea shifting as though it would be immobility that threatened their [[balance->mbalance]]. Muscles ached, and the tanned islands of three drawn faces bent to the rocking repleted the scene with distortion bends.

Steel blisters light traveling along the whole wall. Not enough spit in this mouth. A Kapinya's stumbled and slumped into a table, sunk to sitting, the wait for what. Shimmering shell translucence perfectly revolving the reified progenitor shape, never shall it stop its circular. No matter how bad I feel, never shall it stop its circular. A Kapinya's near me heaves for breath, plastic lungs, like he's crying out in a language only I can understand my nonperceptionally [[parallax->mbalance]], syrupy pyrographs runic of ruineds negative of trace, impossible of placed, implosives of breath against breeze imploding the communication cavernous. In this cavernous, both inside and in signified. Meluoi in the moonlight muttered something this undercurrent carried as a shriek. I was not there to here.

"Love yeah the bet aesthetics," Jaufr, "how rolls through you the chance to instantiate, who shall [[appear->mappear]]? [[Counterhunger->mcounterhunger]] claims inevitable as war, [[killneed->mkillneed]] to real forcing multiplicities to answer. They deny, but I: hanging in the balance. To balance I overwhelmed pray, that if ayin to cosmos justice, then at least [[conductivity->mconductivity]], so we all blaze network to cosm osmosis."

Not the throat that needs to cough but the esophagus. One eyeball flew loose for a little over a little over a second then snapped to place pure [[vertigo->mfever2]]. There a Kapinya's waits in an expression outside of time. Absolute languor; Mylecz spread checks across the table. Gyadalta cast his die. Hunger is the first sin. Mylecz cast his die. I cast my die. Gyadalta with a sigh spread [[checks->mdice]] across the table. "Match." "Up." "Match."

Even the ceiling rustled against my presence. For too brief a moment to register an inscrutable rebuke of the rusting groaning glower. Faint whispering slung among the nooks. Beady blustered stares from the obscurity echoed the distrust in this world's borders. Gyadalta's tablerooted boredom. Mylecz was terse. Share the flaw and surely this amused them darkly. I as [[nauseous->mheave]] as the ship's three axis roll. Impetuosity thorn so equally worthy of cynicism and scorn it merited nothing but ignoring. All of us casting [[dice->mdice]]. "Match. "Down." "Up."

Frustration nibbled my heels until apart they pointed. Cloak half donned the amber glare lit Mylecz's upper right half untouchable, phantom flicker propagating the darkness it irrupts. Grew he monstrous with my [[secrets->mscrunched]]. Wanted to hold him down until I was alone again. [[Checks->mdice]] spread. Invisible inviolable better harboring emotions long and best untold. He tapped his fingers on the impossible pressure, the sable, the table, tapping his fingers on the, bored into my brain. Unemotive pacificity, a Kapinya's slumped to somewhat splayed along the floor. Was the ceiling the floor. Would I awake to? Would he crush me? Did he care? Who would not crush that fly buzzing about dirty nails? His unmoving scintillated. There must be a reason the sea moves. "Up." "Up." "Down."

Spewed myself raw on the first [[listener->midolized]], intestine surge: maybe vomit myself out of this too small stomach. In him new prison sating my loving being imprisoned. Spread the checks I. Do not further profane sly. Be what must be, no more, no more lie. Moral codes prewrote our roles to bid us dance their conjugal. Rest in what ruptures your whole trying, but in this blank forgiveness my waxy coating stained. Burdened with what did not burden broke my back under the waiting resumed in this lie he knew now as a fire, how could I keep believing in a facade once it fails ignition? How could I recant the unspoken dismantling dreacognition? [[Dice->mdice]] cast. "Up." "Up." "Match."

Proliferating I, endless and intertwined she unknotted her essence, preserved her containment. Hadn't been able to do as my bloodpush dictated. I entered the world and ran ripping through its halls until gore tides too gushing to be outsped swept me to my grave. Thief creed adherent in the stocks gazestripped of religion, nude in the gaze of one for whom nakedness is for me something: staring at stabilizing reflections of the unassignable materiality constrained by my orientation to… stricken blushing before the everjudging. What you exclude is what you include. Their closeness is why, closeness is why. Escape wish wilts in its realized, nairskramya perceptive chains that makes me so. Progenitor I, endlessly becoming what for which I thirst. Horned demon infinitely more godly than its smiling power to yet worship is why the idol invites worship. The fly was on my shoulder, felt its crawling inside my eye. Checks spread, ah! The dice, ever they come! "Stupid ah," Mylecz. I opened my mouth to reveal my heart. "Stupid? Huh?" "So's the brakes lor," Gyadalta. "Utter infuriate," Mylecz. "Who does?" I. "Who?" He. I struggled to stand. Teeter, standing, though my neck stretched back what seemed miles. Why am I here? Why am I not there? Why would I go up there? Who is it down here, up there, in here, in this, this, what do I say, who is out there, from where do I look, what am? How do I escape? Is there a verb not this villain? "Game eight yeah?" Gyadalta. Except there is a solution, she is still [[ondecks->mwhisper]] waiting, can still be something to her. I have always failed in them being something to me, and hiding now, wouldn't be the same? Remember, preserve the desire to be outward, that is what is worthy in this neurosis, there always is something. I can go, I can – "Ey Leiru! Where's to, hey ah, you just gonna, aren't you gonna take your coin yeah?" I'm going to take nothing but what I can be. A Kapinya's on the ground graggled, then they all melted, were gone, even the stairs melted, gone, everything erased in this iris sky. [[Meluoi->mstart25]], to you, for you would I for chance die to settle the balancing.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXV''] --- We don't think enough about the word [[selfless->mselfless]]. Without being enchanting the floating other in pure devotion. Without self, selves enclose your vanishing. Morality in spectrality, haunts as you accede to [[spectra->mspectra]] which never will measure you, you, you, what must erase. Selfless: harmony resonating in your empty played to other designs. Nobody a self wants. Apology worthless for having been mine, me unto other, when only there should have been other, who could I figment within theirs. Selflessly nurture those in suffering; their suffering exists, not you. You have no cause, no purpose, [[effacement->meffacement]] gracious. Disappear into her need better penance. Rinkling with trinkets as the ornate idyll of yesteryear's kitsch flailing over tomorrows, who wants this, not you, not her, not you is wanted. This is what I had never understood from Meluoi, her utter renunciation of who in her desire for the unity of all who had frayed their fever's fantasias. Selfless. How to solve a problem when you are the problem and so in your every solving is you and thus the problem? What was in the moon through the fog that made it worth finding? Sky wink charming the breath to choke, ought I to to [[sacrifice->msacrifice]] reciprocate the bled moonlight, no, the moon is its own finished reverence, squirm beneath its pale with stares shut and maw ashriek warping the pink to phantoms, the oceans' roll, roll... who do I have to die to rest in peace? Language spools us from our devotions to sins since language keeps going. Living goes on. The thoughts tumble to a drone. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Sylph secrets spoken in moonlight's austeresoft. "No idea mate, as for yourself look nehh." Two Kapinya's and Pyeisa stood in the semilit whitening around Doubo who leaned openarmed into an immense ecstasy invisibly, lowest fathom border of a desire in full capitulation. Meluoi on the side saw me and raised a hand, both greeting and warning. Do not move, be. "Doubo! Hey!" Pyeisa. "Not the hear you lah," a Kapinya's. "I know he's not, but he's, and what's he doing? What the hell, Doubo?" "Someone drop him a bender, or is he just –" "Doubo!" Pyeisa tentatively towards – Singsong out of the water rose wavered scytheshaped serpent queen sixarmed and seveneyed undulating gently like melting ice mixing with the dew of a forever new era. Several signets spotted each cobra hood: emerald raindrop splattered across bars intersecting rigid zips; ruby circle canceled by a cross slash embroidered across a cheekbone checkered by scars; sapphire soaked emblem of earth and fire and finitude radiating out on a darker fimbriation separating out a [[zephyrscarred->mzephyrscarred]] monolith crackling to finally tumble our sightable; crowned by a diamond dodecahedron star venn intersecting with sextagons of emerald, ruby, sapphire... an arresting gaze loaded with utter alienation, sooner see kinship in the eyes of anything basking, look or look away, you are trapped by what refuses you you. Ultraviolet music whose impossible reverberation nevertheless swashes the neurons sunk us to our hands and knees, but Doubo inched closer adoring, is that what? Openarmed still he seemed to swim through the [[twisting->mtwisting]] air to close into embrace, closer to the rail, closer –

"Doubo! No, get back here!" Pyeisa. "Hell is that thing hor?" Kapinya's. "I can't, feels as my brain's melting, fjelske!" Kapinya's. "Doubo! I'm serious, you need to –" Pyeisa. On split tongues splintered a hiss the serpent queen splintered a hiss. Doubo began to hover, he began a grunting pseudotune whose lack of pitch seemed to grow out of our chests like knives audibly dulling. Rotating, even somewhat glinting, tumbling upside downside upside what? In a nearly snap of the neck glanced I to Meluoi semiserene. Pyeisa had gotten up and was, just barely, inching up to Doubo, his arm covering his eyes from the if you could call it light. "Doubo, get down ah, you can't –" "Leave it mate, too late for the yego! Geskecz, we need to inships!" "What even is that thing?" "Not gonna leave him, not gonna let this –" "Pyeisa!" I. "No, I'm going to –" Screech scratchwidening the gap between the jaws until the serpent queen was roaring teeth pierces, blood in a joycry from Doubo's smashing, and Pyeisa stabbed at where the serpent should have been, but nothing was punctured, and the phantasm turned to see where Pyeisa stood solitary and defiant beneath the confusion [[benediction->mstart25]] under which we sweltered unassured, and in a brutal crash of its unmoving head he was swallowed forever. Last star in a haze.

Whipped whitefoam by wind we starkhouletted wavetowers wintrous blue. Blown up in storm shook into place Doubo before the serpent where its hood expanding jewels expressive seems almost to cover the, reaching out for, rolling back onto the harsh rocking unable to mitigate to stance, nails screeching vain digroots against inhospitable steel, scraping sprawling nauseous, loops the wind the ship in circles, unable to directionalize onto sense, all crawling one in hurricane. Face blanched, brow scrunched, throat bulbseizing with retroperistalsis, mouth wan taut in too astonished to cry. Who would listen in this all things carried? Unctious undulates in my masculate bubble salival to stubble my throat with clawgrooves of trampling upwards ungulate. Blasted by gale tears needle into iris, irascible itch scratchblinded. Imperilous reach unto redoubt of crinkling like foil and cannot pull you up, you are thrown up by the wind and mimic. Pericentral of storm extrudes Doubo implacably sterulous before serpent. Pyeisa somehow momentumal in maelstrom scrabbles out to grab him down to our lens, but the gems align laserly to beamerase them both. Absence, [[absence->mstart25]], klaxon boneresounding. Struggling to blink in sightlack. Tumbling into helix of whorl, cycle we down in contiguous chirality, suddenly all seems still, yet no serpent, no Doubo, neither Pyeisa nor what words his last still ringing in my ears, what, what was he saying when he? I can see his face; he's not here. I can hear him wordless.

Life tricks you by you ordinating. Lashed accounted in the counting, counting, counting, though nothing ever adds up, calculation [[propulsion->mpulse]] towards what doesn't summit, noumenal nullspace [[waste->mbesmirches]] of shadow weaves enumerated nominals masque unto others, no mine all [[erosions->merosions]] erotics analgesic to numb obsess you with the processed smothers, do this one thing you have always done, ignore the chariot careering through cardiacs, be your blood in the beat, do not dare to demand these rigid surfaces to slicken to their crawling cast asunder, hedged brushstroke be, surrendering no moments to swift passing suffices us a frozen delirium, for deliberation surely shall last forever. Eccentric transits of the enigma junction no jolts justify, rare the violet dawn over neonpulse possible, recontextual palette bleed of borders, cloudy milky tactility lacks from all these hard contrasts: meadowy pillowies fluffed to slough the thousand tiny terrors warm tears to the soothed postcry small glow, magenta gentles easing the easel to shades of resignation.

Grinding teeth night after night and its morning migraine, the guilt of a small thing, the guilt of a large thing entombed in a small act, sickness stripping the throbbing thumb, the bones weary with working, the constant need to blink, the ever sliding doors around this saddened soul, wheeling [[fractals->mfractals]] of toil and snares and needing, the askew mirror's chill accuracy, the volcanic bulging above the right eye, the errant flinching, the vague itching, the bodily uncertainties, the daily disgraces, the inability to live bronzed, the stumbling, the wasting alone, the not speaking, the left ear slightly heavier, the lips that twitch too much, the whispering to edgeless surfaces which do not listen, the whispering to yourself who does not respond, the overheard snickers which ring too loud the expectation, the past and a future of not being, being here. Lilac necks nodding beneath a never ending name.

Pulsations nonculminations rout [[reroute->mfractals]] the braincycles most conducive to conduct, reared wild woestring maniacal, concussive cackler, witch of the well if this will be will theme theremin ghost thunder, heaving hehes nowhere from echo not me never mine ahaha, who could that be, you claim me, I cleave your skull, split your sein, proscribe its terminology, spill out abortion phrases oops onto the floor a still twitching mess, umbilical yes severed to hang ambiguous, antinomous I lathe your loaded sculpted to bullets to ballet our tunneling into each other's violences a vibrancy savagenerativity, creativity hollows our anguish fulfills, mine never will, you cannot cover my nonnakedness, you dream you can destroy my hope one humiliation by harrowed by hellfire, but I conduit seethe electricity, fear engine dieseling this dire in rootmass gnarls of monoxidized rusts seeping into the cracked skull of the cosmic gap where reigning aspect assume I forever the am of null and void, you cannot avoid my already, I quasiexist precisely where bounds bleed into beauty you can never comprehend, or so I must believe of any of my nonhideous, however little, allsoever fleeting…

One satisfaction in the hurtling [[ununderstood->mwhisper]]: that a sin [[besmirches->mbesmirches]] forever, but we need not always be sinners. If a moral god will not kill me, then I will kill the immorality that putrefied me to this execution state. I will reach into the primal oozes and mold a being that might have been a better me. Erase the ruin with its airless fate in communion with those around who somehow grow with each other, construct replace a remedy to the poisonous I. We shall conquer in absolute effacement. [[Meluoi->mstart25]] presents the preservation of anger without embodiment, without the crude [[directives->mproceed]] of a pursuant denier, and in this orientation could my selfhate not be circumscribed...

Threatening to fray wildly, in front of the crowd noticed gross I fear I fuzz one gag away. Trapped in the sphere of all of us here together forced to whittle away the torturous reason for why I have come draining in the process of not being a ruin instead. They are looking at you, hence the despair. I like a skeleton being crushed under a heavy wheel ooze my muscles out to burble some primal disgust at the ratmen presuming to live in cleanliness atop this nauseated earth. Still I clung to my chair as the music sopped the air, telling myself I will not be too dizzy though lose I track of how all they see the encrusted on my skin dirt, each wrinkle of her nose the thousand years languished in blank blackness licking the base of seams, she can [[retrace->mfractals]] me to the moment I awoke eroded on not counted night, but rather beseech me here in the austere of before everybody seen.

I no longer am the child who can cry this, I must be the morde of it. Not sure I can, certain they have always known I can't. My father said my name like years pass and in retrospect that was the first sign. I try, but each death regret by regret weathered, who do I owe it them, to all of their wound echoes, to nod with them the question: how do we solve this [[problem->mproblem]] pulses pose? My mother's sideways frown rebuked me. Destroy Tasyumi I begged, she who will not let me have your stories, but she slapped me, set me down, [[disappeared->mdisappeared]]. She returned and read in that shaking voice so ready to shed my skin.

"One who is sailing finds her ship sinking. She dreams a raft to carry her ashore. On the shore, scores who saw the storm demand the [[dream->mstart25]], and she gives them the dream. They demand the storm, which is not hers to give. They demand the architecture by which the dream can carry one from the storm, and, exasperated, this one sails. A storm strikes her ship and sinks it, and again this one dreams a raft to carry her ashore. On the shore, the people marvel to see her safe again from the storm and demand the dream, so she gives them the dream. They demand the storm, which is not hers to give, so they demand the architecture by which her dreams have carried her from both this storm and the last, and, exasperated, this one sails. "The crowd confers about these mysterious events, and a prominent wisdomseeker enjoins: listen to this! Are not the dream and the storm separate? Is not this why she sails when expected to give answers, because we are asking for the problem from one who struggles to answer? Another prominent wisdomseeker replies: ah, but yet too is the storm the method by which the dream finds its use. Verily, what good would be the dream sans the storm? Therefore, we should not expect to ask for the problem outside the answer which contains it. The first wisdomseeker says: indeed it all must be as such. Surely her returning to the sea when questioned about the storm is merely to teach us through an object lesson that the dream and the storm are intrinsically separate forms which are merely evinced to us through the relation between the sailor and her element. The second wisdomseeker says: surely thus! Certainly, she cannot give us the storm and only the dream, for the storm is everpresent in search of the dream, and in asking for the dream we are truly only asking for exemption from the storm's eternality. "Another storm strikes the one who is sailing, and she dreams a raft to carry her ashore. On the shore, the scores with the wisdomseekers approach. The first wisdomseeker says: oh honored one, at last you have taught us! We understand the dream, you no longer need to give it to us. The second wisdomseeker continues: though the storms strike, the dreams never fail to follow, so by giving us the dream, you give us the potential to construct dreams in defiance of the preexisting storms. You no longer need to give us the storm or the architecture. Exasperated, this one sails. A storm strikes and sinks her ship, and this one drowns herself. Her corpse floats ashore, and the scores with the wisdomseekers congregate. The first wisdomseeker says: ah, yet the dreams do sometimes fail to follow. From this one have we yet learned again: she is demonstrating that the dreams must persist through the storms, that we must never grow comfortable with the storm or its architecture for the dream must be kept ever ready or one shall surely drown. The second wisdomseeker says: such is certainly true! Furthermore, it is up to every individual to dream against the storms themselves, or the storm shall rage, and we shall drown, as this one has. "The crowd pays their respects, then leaves the corpse on the beach where it rots. One who lives near the beach grows disgusted with the corpse and throws it back to the sea, but as he does so the corpse begins to weep, and the one from the beach runs to tell the whole town. Hearing this news the first wisdomseeker says: now surely is everything in view! By throwing away the corpse, we lessened this one to utility, a lesson to be learned. We must honor the corpse of the one who has taught us so much, for surely we must not steal from it what is its. The second wisdomseeker responds: yea, thus it must be! By weeping, this one has taught us yet again the value of the one who dreams rather than simply the dream itself. We must never simply treat wisdom as a tool but as a friend in these dark times. "Two fishermen from the town haul up the corpse from the sea in a net, and the crowd triumphantly places the corpse in a prominent shrine. They hold an elaborate procession before the shrine, but the corpse begins to weep from within the shrine. The first wisdomseeker declares: ah, our revelry disturbs its rest! Wisdom is a somber thing, we must never treat it lightly with such a wild fanfare as this. The second wisdomseeker insists: ever right again, my fellow esteemed scholar of the nine knowledges! We have been much too liberal with our dear saint's corpse. We must give it the rest its dreams deserve. After all, is that not why it originally fled the storm? "Much sobered, the town extricates the corpse from its shrine and inhumes it in a special vault inside the local catacombs, where it becomes a spot of devotional pilgrimage. A crew planning a voyage prays before the vault. A wise, old merchant in much solemnity lays a wreath before the vault. A captain goes down before battle and prays for victory and guidance before the vault. A group of young children are instructed by their mothers to pray before the corpse. The new chieftain, much troubled by other claimants to his trade waters, begins to deliver his first leadership speech before the vault, but the corpse tears off its head and throws it. The head breaks through the vault and lands in the center of the crowd. The elderly wisdomseekers are called to explain this strange occurrence. The first wisdomseeker says: woe to the ignorant! We have allowed this corpse to be repurposed by time. We have allowed it to lose its immediacy, and now it shows its anger at being reinterpreted as a blank cultural reassurance. The second wisdomseeker adds: yes, my esteemed and hoary colleague, and to rectify this we must bury it in the high altar of the temple where it shall forever be appreciated in its rightful context but never disturbed. "The town applauds this decision and installs the corpse and its head in the high altar of their temple, but before too long the priests begin to complain of the revolting stench and summon the wisdomseekers to address the issue. Frustrated, the first wisdomseeker shouts: but this is all too much! I give up, I do not understand! "The corpse is seen to smile. The second wisdomseeker, much encouraged, declares: ah, and yet is that not the goal, to not understand? By smiling, the corpse has clearly indicated its pleasure with our deduction that it is proper to surrender complete understanding. By this do the dreams and the storms come into greater view, for at last we cannot see them! "The corpse begins to weep once more, and, exasperated, the town throws the corpse into a far away village." She clapped the book shut. "Our wrongness projects on the multitudes a monomania. Never forget that, child. One with a personal sun shall sweat."

Zeal death in which we can be robed voids grayshifts the cries to chants. I want to glisten soaked in the winedrunk winterblack a [[gelblaze->mgelblaze]], but stuck in buzzing being choking on distortions in rustpipe brains coughing exhaust is this name muttered, moan to no gods but gut yourself in the no gods. We dress our lives with intimacies to hide the barren dominion of our windthrall moors, shadowplay of the condemned. Sinners born into [[bodies->mwounds]], you will never escape encapsulation, we are these thoughts, that is why we are not we, I am the problem, because I to a them am posed. I am this conception shambling through space. Decimate your skull to seize mores. I just need to figure out the best way to stop; I cannot play at continues, even as I should, as is morally must, because my morality thirsts my cease, no center radiates diurns, more and more to the sleepless I slip…

"Nobody loves you, and you deserve it, okay, let’s start from there this time, see if it can finally break through to you. You are worthless in an existential sense, obnoxious in a preferential sense, stained in a referential sense, cloyingly parasitic in a reciprocal sense, and horrifying in a permanential sense, absolutely horrifying, monstrous in a godsquake sensory, beyond redemption in a valuation presence, yet plaguelike nonbegone. Does that make sense to you, would anything ever? Enigma made of deliberate illiteracies, cast off your shadow and reign throatclutch consummate, but you won’t, dweller in cesspit [[regards->mstart23]]. I would pity you hadn’t you teeth, leech. All of your moonswooning after elusive moralities barbs your trap to swing, could catch me in it nearly, but I’ve built immunity to your crude munificence munitions, haven’t the weaknesses I once, if in spirit, not body broken, healed from its more distance from the dayworld you thirst predator, though distance is how you’ve always known me, stalked my glowing, hounded my sighs your sighs, as if they could marry in a way we could not, as if there was the humanity we should share: ghosts moaning to a maudlin maiden moon. Authentic in such a mode once, yes, never twice, grown too stern to vase in your vise. I’d eat the plague from your skull were it not merely to grow back time and time again, only endless I’ve known your despair alterities, lair there, luciferian sunsnare, serpent of could, but you will not rise to plague me anew, and if in you at last proves difference, prove it to me now, silencer."

[[Wounds->mwounds]] which will not heal nor bleed me out moebius the skin continuance to the simmering blood acidic, prick that drips the [[coagulate->mgelblaze]] emotion's carnagefield in fetid foambursts like suffergeysers: tracing them down mazemeanings, what is this riddle written in rage at fleshed whose sole solution lies outside the writhing in purification of the spirit which haunts the mess, extricate the willing ego from the blanketing umbrage, explicate the soul's plea to eternally now, because it is now, this is the conundrum that kills any me, the present, being present in it: if only we were a flash and thence never more, morality could be more than the way death assumes us. Embodied in how we fail, we are our own doing, is our undoing.

I harbor in what I hold beneath my [[hands->mwounds]]. I am my disrupted's soulsplit shout. I hate what I am, and I am both equally. Which is why you embalm your precious treasures in those whom your strangely love bizarres, you must isolate in your you not you, what you wish you were as reflected by your absolute lack. Why else do we dare to kiss rather than curling up to hiss? Demassify the colossi which calcify your conquest thrusts, threadbare torch of [[pseudosun->mgelblaze]] glares. Excise identity from self so we can bathe it in progression's selfless acid. Where do your seismic lines point? Liquefy become to emanate the spirit with the sense lost in this strictness. Songs of the ununsaid in our chests buried. Blossoms fast wither their sheer color on the stem which nods the sentence of the cicada dirge.

[[Rip->mwounds]] off your flesh, damned monster, roar open the moon with your sludgethroat shrill! Crosseyed tumbling through twoheaded thoughts with four hands pointing in cardinal directions while the mouth silently laughs in angel languages to the secreting layer where all the wrong along the way was right, is that all an answer is, focused doubt? At our zenith do we emerge to the eternal hail? What more did I want than a [[crystal->mgelblaze]] answer, but lost in prisms so much in a smudge, impasto impasse from which we reason no shape, there is no answer when it is you who question. Unreadable texts retained me in this cracking insomnambulism. Beneath the surface a magnitude by which all this shouting seems a choir. Stop the contextualization, litter me low beneath a heavy white glow rather than the sky's mystic scrolls. If I never knew this answer, could I crawl subconscious through the wilds gnarled and emerge gargling bloodless into which version was right enough to right this course so that my scarspun corpse could molt? Perhaps reality was quaternion complexities to be drawn only from their mutual inclusions, but desolate I lay clutching obtuse solids while the aether real rolled inscrutably past. False presaging, needless preserving, complete surrender, not an inch of insurrection.

Selfless. You must be less this. This was the promise you made to Imeni. Prove you mean it. Bind yourself to your selfunbinding. If you wish to renounce your touch, renounce your touch. I pulled the blade from my pocket. Swift and easy. Selfless. I let the steel lick the skin, tingling near to tearing. You have had a hand in so much that condemns you, so renounce it. So easy: you just raise up the knife, then renounce. It would be so, Emninu, you idiot, you're not thinking, fjelske, what is wrong with you, the whole hand? What about the insignias on your palms, and what would Meluoi say? She would rebuke you for surrendering from duty, your responsibility in the coming, the coming, um, whatever it will be, but there's so much you need to do, right? Destiny moment you must meet. You still need to... there's, some kind of... the dissolving transcendence, supreme disappearance? They're right about you, you don't have any moderation. Letting go of the whole hand would be like letting go of your duty. Yes, you still need to renounce, obviously, but let the symbolic infinitize its incidence. Symbols empower the scales their invocations constructure. Just one finger, the pinky is the least useful, what a worthless appendage, meaningless extremity that symbolizes your whole soul, and also why not sever the left pinky since you're righthanded, that only makes sense. Simply cut off your left pinky. Pinky is such a stupid sounding word anyway. Why should anyone be taken seriously when they have some ridiculous growth called a pinky on their bodies. If we could just rid our bodies of all the parts that lack austere names, then we could be shaped to purpose. Isn't that why we feel so ridiculous looking in the mirror, is we read our asinine bodies of work? You can't read, no, no, shut up, nobody wants you here, I'm talking. Need to let go of the smallest, most unnecessary part, so as to recognize this contingency condemnation as unnecessary, lessen your smallness to the brink of the blessed void. Although actually the pinky holds up something when you grasp it, it's what the thing rests on, so maybe the index finger, but then couldn't the index just be the pinky, eah, gods Emninu nobody cares about this minutia, just renounce, choose the surging violence, geyser act. Sliced off my left pinky, watched it plunk into the sea, shimmer into the sunken world, there would be Jaufr and Kaiya whirling around it, lured by the scent, ready to tear apart this corpse, but seeing the smallness, how sundered is this touch, perhaps their ghostly unken would conjure emotions of the fathoms. I wrapped my sleeve around my left hand in a tourniquet. The slow pool discolors along its course... Oh gods Emninu, what did you! Why did you just, you, no, no, relax, it's good, this is the only purposeful thing you've done. That's what the weird feeling is, purpose. You're not used to having any type of meaning; let it rush through your veins your new realness, transfigure. Geskecz it hurts, yeah, you've been wounded before, you'll deal with it. Don't back down. This is good. This is what you must become. Don't be a coward. Okay but what am I going to tell Meluoi? Hey by the way I amputated my, or well don't, it's not, it's your own thing, or your unthinging, your private selflessness, the lessening of your unknown to any other. Remember, it was your fault to try and presume your own layer of meaning overtop Imeni's. You had to meet Imeni where she wanted to be met. Meluoi will be the same. She must be met where she is. Keep yourself to yourself. Selfless. Warm threads [[trickling->mtrickling]], wrap myself in its assurance, shawl warrior. Eye to eye with the moon. I could step out of the boat and float on beams, steps ripple light. Be seen from the sea as a phantom goddess from some sublime underworld stararisen on the earth's strange turns, feverish face's russet crescent wane a searing symbol of the alterior to possible. Meluoi would glimpse in [[heavens->mheavens]] our understanding, parallel faiths. When she spoke shivered my certainty. I could not look up at her; I wanted to be seen in the depth I was in. Ice irises purled frigid streams into my shriveling veins tinting azure. Ovular mouth wordletting. "Is anything troubling you?" I. "Nothing troubles me," she. "I am nothing, and I trouble me. What ails you?" "Ah..."

Meluoi hovered in each wan shaft equally, liquidly luminous blur rhythmically rocking to counteract star dominance to outweave the jinn. Seesaw ship sleep cowed by the intonation striking matches in the dahlia fabric black, the sea itself whispering, lobeslicking moisture resplendent sedation exuding, obscurities percolating through the membrane, sloshing through the temples, face figments flushed to indiscernible littorals of this communal melding, meaning kissing the smothering brim shaking in shared duress, illusions in a riddleland semiotics subdued in soft despair like snowflakes sheeting a freezing sea. Silken zephyrs brush, lightest sensation to remind me there can be less, airless, colorless, scentless. Root vein phantasmal shock shines listing from an eyelid corner to out of closed sight, into the brain while the eye tears with its gap, through the hole emerges the moment. Filmburns distortions diffusions construing continuity tinnitus fusion of fantasia in somnium effuse pouncing shades people ripping through my indigo wavering in the strangelit semisickle candelabra lunarine, caramel teases she me further through waning recedes, gloom majesties phantom revelries haunting the periphery, tunneling into her vision belldrums teasing touch translucence lucent upon the leyline laterals to ancient chills thrillvolting waterfall images, temple wills slick dew sluicing watery reflections of eons dreams, forgotten scenes, molten overfloes from casted wishmolds stalagging the deeper to deeper traverse, less to less light, buried in the pressuring on unfurling to butterfly chasing enchantress colors in the chaining noncerulean, darks occludes camisole her shadowy oaken hush gliding you into the gliding, elision lidded utter muteworld save her no need to mutter so wide she smiles pure and free immixed lapses clasps, grasps of clutched close to whisperies in her slipping and spilling to where she floating milk and honey xi uplifts into her white teeth dissipation fluidities of blurs and blushes whose touch tastes of her tongue salival tattooing finalities invitations her exhale inhumes, invocation implosives plosive on her hhahhs, drips the shoots she sylvan spills through lips the tryst entwisting, vines drooling down my, scintillates the hush, inclusion whorl of washercolors, [[beauty->mbeauty]] impression.

"I can't!" I cried. Imeni recoiled into the bizarre I would always feel weigh. Meluoi coiled into this zephyr lie strewn all ways glockenspiel plays spectral. "I can't, I, Meluoi, listen, I can't do this, I can't lie to you, I'm not, not listening. No, I mean, hold on, listen. I have lost the sense of the world to hear a voice in it. Pretending still my alive, is all this a lie. Not the, the. Having to pretend I'm me in some way which is opening out into, which is, and I, I won't lie to you, that's what I fear, is the sound of my own voice hunting in my listening to yours, and I won't pretend I'm listening when I presume here alienated from... and where does listening lead to, is it populated? Don't you see I'm the monster you shouldn't lead there? I, I mean, there's this, this, I mean this [[woman->mwoman]] I know, but not like that, it's, there's this, person, there are people, who I feel like, they, they exist outside of this paradigm our decay posits, good people better than me, people I love, respect, and how could I, why should I ever affect any one of them? How can I have any destiny that affects anyone? Isn't the only moral choice to disappear? Affect nothing and no one saint. Isn't this, or, is my [[salvation->msalvation]], is there such a thing as selved purpose, when, isn't the whole point of purpose the imposition of an imperative over self? To be a constituent unit in meaning erasure. Yet who could want anything of the sort, or what is wanting, shouldn't we hate desire, or is it precisely desire that unancestrals us presence and delinear critique, judges of and of the divide? Leaving nothing to justify judging any one thing. We are the communal against which individuate sins. Wretched to isolated on a spire pose marble figure whose frozen throat sings superlatives to or of them, [[imprison->mimprison]] myself in them as an idea, how feverishly I thirst for a cause that could erase me, and I fear you give me it, and I fear you do not; I fear following you is but another death in this series of lesser dyings, that I, that all I am asking of you is a beautiful thought to arrange in a syllogism of my construction, but I can't believe that, because I believe in [[you->myou2]], and that is a [[hierarchy->mhierarchy]], isn't it, that forward motion into, that sublimation? I want to die into your quest without leaving residue, but I have to ask myself who I do my kindness for, and, I don't know, certainly no one to whom it is a kindness!"

"When I try to reconcile these people who are better than me with [[poetic->mpoetic]] separation into the greater unity, when I place my infinite superiors as objects of an ultimate salvation in which I am able to be an instrument, I mean can you not shiver with the same irrepressible repulsion? No future of theirs should involve me. Anything my body builds into is precisely my presumptive agony, nothing should be built from this. If you have, I mean if you are operating some truly transcendent praxis, or whatever it is you're doing that I've so thoroughly failed to understand, then why must I be involved, why must I like Jaufr imprint myself on greater justice and subsume the other in my own internal network?"

"And if there isn't any meaning left in the world for the people stranded in today," the voice break and its prophesied rapidfire "then why, why have we been born? I mean, of course there's meaning, isn't that why we move, but is everything I admire mumbles after the great silence? What holy gold must I desecrate that is not these lips or this still yet possible embrace? Let a million mural heroes collapse before us if it means but one beat of new beauty, but there again the butterfly will to alight on something and be included in the same view, to choose but be seen before choice, preontic invasion? Because I am not it, do not belong there, do not belong anywhere, I am excess, and it is precisely that I believe so that I already believe myself everywhere, but I can't refute it without choosing to be inherent in a negative, or I could if I wasn't, so, ah! I don't, am I even making sense ehh? But I do, briefly, beneath your [[voice->mpoetic]], allured by its ability to... and this plan, the Veda as destroyer, have I been born to make my unmaking more easy? Dissolve throughout the fluid fantasy to form a forward wave should a shore shelter us in stable land at last, but what will I in our continent construct survey in our contours' wounding? What good am I, mechanical or moral? I, but the copyist who listens, amanuensis of grander than can I conduit, error of your precious fleeting my permanence, forever in the record the misprision lusting secretly the speech will be wrought by my hand, how worthless! You make it sound so wonderful, but we're sick, everyone I know is sick, how much worse am I, the one thought that thinks it will not be eradicated with the cancer. Sullen, cracked, dizzy, confused, every day I awake I wish I could serve purpose, that no more would I wake at the every day to wish, I'm hollow, but isn't that the point? There is no meaning left, our hollowness is our spur, our only attribute: the gap fills the gap. Isn't that what the Veda is doing, or what are you doing? I feel like I don't know. I feel like I've failed as a Yamicz, and that I'm glad I've failed, because I hate the person who presumed they would not, that they could be Yamicz, and not this, this, submission to my infinite degradation beneath representable..."

"I strive to fulfill my instilled, or not fulfill, project, empty myself out to a project, I seek to serve this cursed better, but if this life is stillness ripples of the lost last wave of music, why, why? Emergent epochal excess indeterminate, originated nigh, strive what, for whom, as a worm what wilt this nonsense tidal? [[Mystic->mpoetic]] otherness I sieve the tinnitus, but if it is other, why not let it be so, what purpose in the inclusion of my excluded? If I, but I'm so sick of the word I, and of me, puddling pronouns. Shouldn't the point of all this exist without us and all our selfswollen words? Didn't the Senenzu sing just to join the efflux trance vision? Would it not be a sacrilege to force them to follow on in our staking? The double bind: that we must reinvent ourselves, and it is we that must do it, but then the destroyer denies all that, says I am the transcendence retroactively terminal, the evental irreducible border, the mosaic solved to mural, fragments now no more nor their provenance, figure of our enjambment irretraceable mode, dharmic limit? Who would that be but who is not us nor needed us but was seeded by our vanishing into frames? Who is who and how do they get to be whom but by the burning of bodies, mass graves birth? Am I right, or am I making any sense, or am I mistaking your point, or, or, and isn't it that we destroy ourselves to prove that even in this state we were worth it, deserved life, only executed are we exonerated, but there is no outer shell, no cycle but our own mirror image, and this woman who haunts my faults, Veda, whose name I dare not utter to you, whose shallow shadow I stand before you, and all of them, I want them to be happy beyond me, us, whatever we as a group constitute, but I'm cauterizing their wounds for them, putting our brand on their dead skin, but I can never touch anything, no more fingerprints, I can't, how can I sustain them with my erasure so total that it was never me sustaining them, never an I to have been erased? Task both right and wrong directing to degrees far beyond my compass, but all I do is follow in the footsteps of others, but I can't keep pace, dreams outrace this dying! To steal into their further sounding I leech from the levitation so that my dripping will resound elegantly against heaven. At my level there is no exit, not a maze but a polygon, surrounded by my included as emptiness, as the area of a border instantiation, a being ring empty of husks such as I stuck inside. You may conceive of space outside, Veda, and that you do gives this last passing so much comfort, just the thought of you slumps my shoulders to the final, pleasant dream, but I'm doomed to glimpse the trails of my own shadow, I can't escape it my allegorized, my being for eyes a swirling nothing internalized."

"I recognize in the part of me still reasoning that I should follow you, I understand you're so much wiser, more [[poetic->mpoetic]], grander than all my knowns, but why should I not just die to your incidence, how can I eradicated slave your imminence? Please do not justify this failure beyond as fuel, immolated to motion. There is no value for me as distinct to add, the more I have added myself in all my endeavors the worse they have become; I am best when seen from far away. You place far too much faith in me, this nothing I am and which is my lot to be. Don't lead me to the jewel, Veda! Don't lead me to something I can touch, I beg you! Please do not let me touch this jewel, I will fail you, I will ruin it, I am a nothing hollow without meaning, I am the blank terror at the end of beauty."

"Why should what's beyond my grasp haunt my unattaining? Rather I blunt to brackish decay. So tired of wrestling with riddles, my mind cannot solve else, tired of trying to freeze the pendulum that swings between opposite nowheres. Can't I just, euh, admit it? And I don't mean to sound so caustic, but you've taken a great risk in carrying me along to this [[sublimity->mpoetic]] your acts worship, in trying to malleate me worthy of you, but I can't in good faith keep up this charade, this apprenticeship of no labors, especially when I look at people who know me but will never know this me, never acknowledge it, for somehow it must be, has to be based on failure, on assumption to some easier form, which they know, however they know, whatever it is like to know, is not mine, people whose love makes me want to destroy myself because they are better myselves my being blasphemes, take them to the victory, not me who snorts around the muddy base senseless. Murk stifles me, so let me drown! I want to cling and even cherish the rubble as you blot out the meek sun with resplendent cities, believe in you, in people like you, but I am a shell brittle with echoes, and I cannot, for once, let myself mean. Must stop myself from living out recursive horror, final fraying of the spiral edge rushing to infinity's diminuating embrace, must stop from flowing out of this body, for if I cannot find lie this truth, then I shall lie buried by the sermon."

Out of the bones of the thought the ash of a new powerless to hide. Not just admission: admission into what was admitted, publicly, humiliatingly. Forced to be and own it. I couldn't rebottle the profusion, my arms shrunk into my desiccated chest, eyesockets sunken, supposed as displayed without defense. Meluoi... she turned away in a way which seemed to assuage. Beneath the shadow of her back I shivered, released my spirit into pursed lips, sighed it all away. Her impending seclusion, a world in which she moved while I, I am this wreck. Humiliation is a fever. Her in her fluttering kasaya poised to be what dusked this night from the empty dark, threads of her slipping like lovers' fingers to a clasped together tapers like vapors pastels, magenta moon over mauve blush blending her shadow softly with a glittersense that shimmers through closed eyelids to an onyx blessing bouncing my [[heartgem->mheartgem]] to her rainstep's rhythm, ivory teeth the new sun I shall worship nearly blinding in so much rich black, black coffee burning my skin as she deigns to touch me, my heart loses the rhythm whole and entraps [[soulsnare->msoulsnare]], dreamdaze spooling unfurls me she as as one we with the cool steel spear the stationary to be a moonshaft bar to hold as the nocturne cyclone dazzles impressions. Outto her eternal poetry she points where I see the quiet in her sonorous dresses of wordearths wrung rockening softly into the sky [[subsublime->msubsublime]].

"When I was younger, Emninu, I learned this razor beauty of being alone. As you, lost in a mist which does not clear, and even if it would, would unveil a world of sight more than the blank searching through nothings nowhere. Still this silence haunts me, is me. I do not know if there is ever noise loud enough to erase silence once it becomes you. Perhaps this is to suffer: to lose sight of [[cessation->mcessation]]. The Veda life is silence, living in the silhouettes of a harder dream; to truly know poetry, you must first stumble through its unformed. Become the tongue: know the throat's unspoken. Into my books I fell and never was anyone there to pull me out; they pushed me deeper through the spiral, can't you see the abyss below the lights? Into the darkness plunge to forge a more piercing luminescence, but forcing through the harshness doesn't guarantee a thing but suffering, you will one day awake to feel your brain echo the breeze, be the brimless hollowed out by incessant needing to know, needing to know more, to go where you cannot be led. If you read enough tangled webs, you wonder if they gnarl around anything, what root mass awaits which we can ken, conclusively [[concentric->mconcentric]] tantra… the difficulty in working through processes which have no exact response, all interiorities you have to know you know, veritas chasms apertures unto arcane colossi questions we can never answer, struggling, yes, struggling, to never a shore, such a project both injects and sweats resolves, continually reunpuzzling. If you think you know what it is to feel lost and alone in things you do not understand, Yamicz, then you understand where poetry arises, why its project is never done, why a song invites you to bear its flickering [[ghostlight->mghostlight]] torch through winding catacombs wending to a frosty lossless semblance. Everything I've told you is merely what I, who would sleep for weeks on a single page, endlessly studying a ghost's eternal second, then panic that people were no longer outside my cell, that I had died and found death to only be going through the mirror to I the nothing, every dream in which I dress you responds to an address neither of us fathoms, voices summation, sheer totality in a brutal urbreaking. To undertake to understand is to under stand, to winter in the shadows of titans, never knowing if again the sunlight, nor if should you wish so, whether all is the welter then ever thus ever. When you read, you beyond; when you read to, you are brought back screaming. Absolute terror of being known again and again as you accumulate humanity. We think of ourselves as humans, but we are inklings, phantoms, faint impressions upon the page, and only through the accretion of alterities do we assume a presentality, a humanity conjugate we can never explain nor contain, astral sea of strewn becomings, avatarred star awareness, homosapiens."

"Like you buried in disapparations I could not conform, efface tabula rasa amassion, and I assumed this fear in myself, facelessly assumptive of an authenticity exclusion, reader faceless of forever tomes, wishing I could bleed myself to ink for others to paint worldcontours in which would I never dwell. Not to be what you couldn't be but what what you couldn't be could be. Because, the deeper I read our species story, the more in them I infused my contingency, selfsustain systemized completion in which to rest a thousand lives in their purified worlds to believe the seconds as they pass, anointed selvewright assembling dimensionally in mosaic myths, speaker more than story, dweller of the infinite dyeing. Our yet to drown might surface in my phantasmal beacon, transcendent enlighten guiding all these shipwrecks to shore. Somnambulist awareness more vivid than the tangible, holographic reality reifying fluid remembranes, consciousness in the void a commit, so much glistening violence in such silence a peace. When most was I [[alone->manswer]], Yamicz, discovered I our primal communion. Twilight's pallor soaked both sides of the passing violet forever in a vanish. Delirium clarity veiled in visions the infinite horizon its finitude home, zeropoint maya, zolotye nebesa, zazen omniconscious nadir, void as voiced identifier, nonidentity axiom which spirals being other for being for others, nebulae formative dispirits. We are quasireal, quasars illuminating the nothing expansion."

"Passages ripped from the earth shouted I in rookeries our levitationally diachronos subsisting only on our so much sunkenness, revery thorned rose. Of that hymn hollows the rest to coda, this ice I cannot feel through… ah, Yamicz, we must be grander than our emotions, our needs, but still we need, still we wander our longings… thrall of the psalm sung by a thousand tongues splintered this skin to thunderous glyphs, burst of our unpunctuated condition, arranged into the beauty perfect in which all may prism pose, religion of the once and thus the here and now, and in that zenith nullicried obsidylluminated the forsaken communion, until, until, I awoke to my body punched, I could not see for stars, tumbled into the sea, splashed into the lower world's immanence and rejection, born at last to our lastness. Like the poems unraveled, and I congealed. I arisen from our mother absence, our yearn not earth. Children of the gaps danced damned exultant. Emptiness echoes, we shuffle shadows to rebound the echoes our own directived. I couldn't speak for weeks, couldn't think in the elongation ever, I felt drenched in the punch, wrenched dizzy to the if it is actual, if this really is alive we live… do you know, Emninu? Can I ask you, who has lived the world that has hurt you so much more than me, whether my damaged echoes in your vying to undwell? You don't have to [[answer->manswer]]. Most questions have none."

"I could feel myself presences, but I was too young, naive even, and I had to manifest to presences. Spiritual duty I owed those who did not know, evangelist elan angel, aetherial bearer of phoenix aesthetics, sacred vase of all we cannot contain, so spilled I through fissures, found myself birthwhirl to our typhoon, sable texts bleeding on the whites of my eyes, tonguefire priestess, slaughterer dreamer of semblance entires. Longed I to touch another, whisper into their wilderness, what is a poem if not you made not you? Grandeur gestated, radiated I luxurious crystallines, blessing of amassing borne to aphasiana. Unto the lower world I astral seeker of voltas, perceiving for those willing to blur to blend you ares, thirsters of no more for this gravening the faint tinks, nightstriders surely we in an invisible thread entwining the calling weaving to patterns, gravity divisivitas gradient sieve through which could be universally translated embryonic to the timeless ebon empyre, together we might form someone. I sped into lyrics the heart of the Docks an acolyte of our soon becoming, chanting invocations to a formiasmeing tongue unleashing the dammed tide to flameseas mysterion melancholies beneath the moon maybe streaming what creates your may be: you, hidden fountain iridescent rivulets gently roar to eddy matryoshkanic empties in waiting polymetric pageantries, elegance deconstructive to transubstantiated transforms, our bodies blessed to enmesh the elided with our dedecipher enigmatism, splendor blight of be lights, invocation to causalities [[casualties->manswer]], fireflies eclipsed, lyreminds ellipsed, pyreplies sublime, sole survival of the humanly dignified harrowed, name we can name."

"There is one question to which I do know the answer: who we are when they wish we were not: we are not their not but the knot precisely. We cannot be reduced to our [[otherness->motherness]], because we are the generative aspect of that otherness. We are the other who is one. The Literature is the scripture of in alienation. We are no body but its captivation. When, singing the Literature for our siblings of the Docks, one of them rose up to punch me, they negated me, but I became that negation, persisted into [[concatenation->mconcatenation]] nebullience. Punches elevate the energy both sides of the impact, intensifier force; physical expletives gatlinged by the jowly spitter jostling the vein rush of rage must, the violence opulent of all the grayness, our desire to desecrate this sacred anguish. Hit and hear. Hit and clear comes the violet spindle tangle the hate the heat of the moment evokes. Blondeblaze sunsmash streaking pulsing cream along the quaking nigh shattering axis reels you in braintearing terror, choked magma bubbling boiling through rock tight clogs supporting your wasted head. Razed riotscape pummeled by [[kindlingkin->mkindlingkin]] sporting orgiastic. In immolation flickers augur tongues by cleromancies of you. Ash of this spirit speaks your ravaged entrusted yielded to time hordes encroaching. Commander of the besacked capitol silhouetted by the thousand foot statue still ensconcing the horizon on which you are encircled. Punches are precious, pain troves guarded by eyefire seals. Punches, to the face, the face it has to be, are the crescendos to a body's hum. Unleashed full signification of the sea, the totalizing tempest. So what if you sink? Drowning is air pressured precious: forsaken mana wildly groped for by the one from whom the world seethes away. Not that you are discovering inherent value, but that you are creating it, lover romancing shades of a human more pure and precious than any touch since solely shades envelop you in new perception orders, netherkingdoms of the urnow. Rock me out of my reason so I might squirm in epoche, strain is you in a frame. Violence is the pulp I suckle to [[charge->mcharge]], claymore child."

"Push premonitory ledgegrip dreamer to forever in flight plummet, pasting immensity rushing through this sieve. Preservations temple, those terminally present confused shiver as out from forgottens crawl I candleteethed. Mortal midnight in lashes on divine skin, scarlet sweat, we scintillate armada, containments upon the all consuming, mortal unto the divine undividing to divinity, creation accretion severing the sentience isolation in the sentences our purposes grammar. No more slaves to sunken heaven but scarhaunted convokers of the horror [[kalique->mstimmung]], ether ethics reinscribing the cosmic cycles to melodies of discordancies. Self as a source is our grave of the billions. Why should I pretend my speech elects else? Some may praise their cages as what keeps them safe. Yes, our bodies can proliferate the moistness we misname bliss. Juice drenched summers glistening new fruit frolic at each wayward vivid touch, sacred groves teem with choirs spinning their craze to whirlwind to the wider world the splendors of verdant remnants nourished by babbling nepenthe brooks, dying kingdoms engorged on the blood of moments which inspire an undying relish in the thirsters who hound its fount. In this, drowning; in this, no more the sailor but the sea; and yet, in this cobalt haunted, meld we the tempest furnace, fierceness of the temporal, multiply, together our plying the quivering cosmos hush…"

"I am not afraid, I am aflame. Crave our merger verge, the lines where we bleed and blur, humanity moment, violent enthronement, destroyer joystorm. Wound me, wreck me, stretch me on the rack so I may spill from my seams honesty. Craving this truth I shudder, cannot seem to stay contained in this lidless stare plea mutter, pace I hunting along the beneath sensibility. Blacklight hardening as I hulched through a decision. I must preach this pain. Be this pain. Be pain. Phantom trails flange glitches of memories to substance among the harrowed hints scattered along the hinterlands of my broken brain. Viral multiply determined of this membrane, gestator combinatrix, emerge umbilical to umbra. Have you been swept into your chest's wellsprings geyser glowpink shadelight rapturous spirit captures of the rapids surging to mix with the forever hang waterfall freedom of nowlift, sublimity in an outcry, frenzy bliss demonad beating tempestament to frill new sky possibles, cascade luxii plashing glitter cyan surf upon the inky jetty aisling ascendence we swallow acolytes of experience levitating in a livespace dreams luscious, kiss dais love, copletion. Sensuous sacred presence chandeliers the oversaturated bleeds, stigmata mutuality. [[Nihilation->mstimmung]] instantiation duets a kiss. Who you are with who you are not our knot. Do you see? Do you feel? Does it not echo from within your without?"

"This [[mission->mstimmung]] in which we are sainted has nothing to do with ourselves, with any of our truth, any of our morality, neither we its caused nor its causers. You affect no one, are no affection, and precisely in that lack of affection and identity does this pilgrimage strain your holiness, your wholly us. Do not let them exteriorize you, the way they have mocked your name, but in that exteriority assimilate the exanima web through your nodal lens, sacrilege carnage of the demiurgen, as did I in what feverous phantasms kept the culled more than death as drowned I in the sea, my body unable to shock alive, to resurface to the wintrous ever. Haunted by the trundling of limbs nonnavigated, mumbling husk hewed by its angles, is the hate, the heaving out what you must never contain but always coimply. Jagged finality smoothed beneath a surface semitranslucence, see my translosesense, precipitate cipher soul unsolved."

"An emotion, not a concept, arises when you glimpse human beauty with warscarreds, the thirst for peace, desertcrawler weeping last droplets in awe of a mirage. How is it, this goodness within every of us, we speak in separations? How can so much hate breed in our brokenness? I don't know if any sensation shall lighten this waiting but in this darkness I pray the darkness, in pain I pen the pain, and every agony I cannot suppress to pressure dreams to rain, rainshimmer skin, [[stimmung->mstimmung]] perfumes the blackness, ghosts lichen my slouching ruins, cradle dusts caress my know difference. I accept my arc. I suspect in you, Emninu, lurks the same austere dignity. You shall evince it in the end, we will evince all of this in the end, to whatever end, to whoever comes after it, so that they will not have to have been alone."

"This poem oozing from open veins ichors the illogic of the named inexorability, sentences frozen, expanded, constrained, aflame. Truths partially to their constituating lies. Koans not unveiling, veiling. We write these lines, append them to our endpoint, to seal wound infinity, unique semblance serration with which to slice the shroud, undie the dead. The rock reverb bloomed a spacious moan, both death knell and morning bell, and never again but now unto this arose I verlust to Seleph Berakh clothed exquisite in frayeds posing to me a song, its verse unwritten. In him, of me, through us, shall we augur the serratene its subverse. Spiral children slickening the locus chiaroscuro of noumena, palimpsest palettes, divisive senses skew ourselves to contain the multitude hole, but selved neither in the havoc nor the halt but the passing isolated between, we refuse sein eruption dissipationsening the intrusive horror compacted, horizon solder, sublimated subtraction ours, pulses as mine as the earth's, its elisions. Insofar as the mirror returns the mered severes the vault quiet. Cry out of it captain of its coursing down your cheeks, voyager ejecteds, truth is how we die before our beloveds, love is the starry pain as we lie below the bleak, love these your betters the howls you cavern, cavity their exalted your humming stillness, spillness wist, in poetry is this tryst, this moebius twist. No poem is recited to you but is chanted through to you so it can until you meld freely in all of us the essential poetry whose individualized echoes formed lines of a forming image conduit you to saleveration, so stills the song the volta zenith, transformed [[beneathmoth->mstart26]]: glimmer and dwell, sourceseeker. Christened colors, scald to quintessence fluorescent, patterns occlusions vestments to sacrificial alters. Firmamentation of the maroonment runic, ruminate physiopathologic, rue evocative, eternity embraces individuation its filial plumes. Into the mission anointed Seleph Berakh our deepawes. In your heart its home, his whisper, its invision cracking the skincontain. Surge forth not to absolution but oblivion, eradicate the beast that mocks you Emninu to extract the crystalline wish to sparkle your outer and better humanity. There is a chance for whoever you love only because there is a you that loves in this desperate hour and hour and hour. Oh Yamicz, embrace me, tears mix souls, sole joy mine in this suffering struggling is this, to be humanly honest before the absolute god honesty to which we are called. Please do not tremble over your confessive impulse or any of its perception games, no faith can be lost in its necessity. Destiny unremitting continues to demand only us from this milieu lostness, who else would we be? Nectar of a now drink we deliquevilish, because this is a need you have made not mine, we are sated by some other deeper endless. I sense this poetry my name hymns tingle me adreamless. Do you?" The prickling cold was all as she wanted it to be in my need not answer, animation unity us together a shiver. In her skyward grin muted bliss serene, assured, as if finally releasing the last cord in an ageless knot, and for the first time to grasp what it ties. Silence compleats echoing through vast sublinks common venom, common cure.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXVI''] --- Cleared of rain the calm sea scintillated treasure mystery, hundreds sliding [[outlines->moutlines]] on the Submergence's shimmering glace whisper alluring. Peopled dreams smashed to a crux dome lifting from the ultramarine subpatina as the period warranting rest. Frost azaleas winking through merlot tears trickleskipped [[steel->msteel2]] arching deferentially like supplicants equally reverent and aghast at the… wave lap distorting the image reforming more glowing… magnitude permanence, scale of scars, god [[puzzles->mpuzzles]] posed to echelons unimaginable. //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Nightspirit Meluoi's hilt letter lightning shocking through the gap between her endless and mine though rain on the awning's frigid fingers caressed my hair halogenic dehardness rustles velvet breezes licking my skin to suggest she might dissipate into never having been and the confused guilt nestling there, dominating preface to what juggernaut shade lumbered onward materializing over and in my thirst for a hand to hold hulching my chest waters to gasp regain the air, malicious. Into the no I cast out a cry for where but confused blared the shadowspeaker cyclone. Wet clothes dripped through pores, waterfalls plunging into caves bursting with the roar. Translucent in shivers but bloodtrickle voice, lips, down the jaw sluiced by rainrush zips splattering puddle mines to protect myself from her solidarity. Possessed by the aura of Meluoi, spirit alone, hollowed. Raingliding eliding the awning. I said: "Freezing." "Yes," Meluoi. "Freezing." She bent to accept the cold. "You have not been up here the last two nights," slow, deliberate. Unutterable controlled by her spoken, like spears it pierced. Wrapped tight around lungs, coffin placation, wheedled prayers slack in the wind's drawl until negation, phantom enneagram glass prison. Abyss marine sole transposer. Sleep veil lowered touchless on waking. "Yes," I thought I would say, but it did not happen. Meluoi nursed some music this melded together strung, touch battle completion. Ringlet aura icy white around her face, her breath ghost mist. Her skin's [[warmth->mbeauty]] a radiating through...

Painkill the night strung taut and pluckable, lozenge lounge in salubrious plush, paddleaddled roll till turning ephemeral to tephra, figurative capsized to frigates bobbing upsidedrown, thumping fingers on the pull, numb its dragging, palliative pill swilled with harsh semisalt water, be purified in impurities tang slung down lanky throatwells sandy scratched, wracked piles prow surf sweats creases, you have built up so many from cares you caress sickened beneath veneer, duress stressing lashed to surface respond despondent of this mess conditionative, palliative if onlys plum in winesea waves… How should we continue to fight when each moment hurts more: hurts you more, hurts more people, hurt as where you are moored. Live here, fiend of its impossibility. According thus to whom, can I scrape them from pipes rust, [[immixture->mtrickling]] stain to [[tincture->mheavens]], alchemist of allergies? Who abandoned alongside whipstrikes reasonable, shall I conduce their contoured, adduce from their exemplared my own exorcisms, or simply traduce denied? Will learn from their sleepless ripples fevered youth, but slanting further in the seat, gained so which forward worthy? Nodding, now all I know to do, until nightmare cold nudges spasmawake, and I am this cold. Clutching borders rainsoaked wavesoaked pattern has held me this at bay, to the moon with the wind, held beyond reprieve dream within rescind, magic renunciation bearing you back to prebirth wilds serene. Delve into volved prevailing veiled, postscript any significant? Other than, never in. Okay, I can never be in, I can accept rejection, thrive in it actually, finally others meet me as I myself. Riot rager upon yellowly howlhung prowling these constraints causticality. Any condition we share devoured inasmuch until nothing is left, at last penance clean, possible purity enveloping enclosure forever. Solution: dissolve. So easy, almost hurts how simple, hurts so simple, you can ride renounce until denouned, thence denouement.

"I do not demand your presence more than you can manifest it. Perhaps you are exhausted from all our striving, these frigid nights and nights and nights, never seeming to accumulate. In the progression contingencies, we fear we are drained into deadends, but you must understand that retrospectively, if we can just idiosimulate devengine eventals, we experience the inevitability of [[outcome->moutcome2]] in each remembered endurance. I know how tempting the warmth haunts you, haunts us, gently rocked to sleep in these [[holds->mholds]], reductive beauty refusing the doom its due, lost in this feverish on, moment surrenderers at last sensate pleasance in the precataclysmic moonlight stillness a sobriety, who would rise to meet the ever whistling quiet without there being some, and I would let the pressure wilt to uncover a gentler dawn, I am not as heartless as my purpose manifests me, but already we have crossed into the Central Sea, time invades our motions, we are dying too quickly to savor the subtler rhythms. Don't you feel it within you, that slow slip towards [[impossibility->mimpossibility]]?"

"[[Entanglement->mentanglement]] mood, which most avails our worry? Shall we delight, despair, not care? Which glade stages us best to revel assemble songs we must summon? Does it spark new upon our translucence chill or shall we carry ends to the end, yes, perhaps there must I stitch you sign to compleat, third koa…" She began to chant, but it came out a hum, and she hung upon the moonlight taut, before swelling with [[elunelight->melunelight]] to sprite her up to cadence: (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Circulation devotions tramples pertains to pure tastes, Riots of hue and cueing uncures immure immune Circadian tides of times are changing splash course fates tasked Resithen as zither tunes to glitter the breeze Missives kissblown to far forlorn filial cherishes Restitutive gasps pearlescent upon dewstrings breachbubbling Spiritsume to compresent for mourn to morn Riddled beneath the deep draining urge to obelisk, Spitelather [[delveluge->mdelveluge]] purpling the mines to morass, Ventricular filigree rootmass drinking durates to immax, Landscape scenic composition of all life a brawlcarousal carousel, Venturous presence to attain generative difference fulfill immixed, Totemous praisevenom leer upon staked beneath howls’ burn Signification devourer networks surging stochastic through myelin, Totality crushed into an all consuming singulation burial."]

"When you feel your possibilities like you feel your past, you must bleed out a brushstroke before we blink out, you must follow to where you are called, gift curse of radial becoming, I only beg you, do not hide from yourself now that your skin starts to peel away, but how can I stand here before you saying this? Am I an executioner to deserve this [[expression->mexpression]]? You're hurting me to look at me this way. Emninu, Yamicz, ah... so much of my burden, how much have I left on your shoulders? I splatter art's gore across you, abyss acrobatics, detestable that I contort so, yet the storm bears upon us! Don't you see? The [[downpour->mdownpour]] is too heavy for our own rain. We could have been so much, but we have been wrung out, now all we can do is shape the drain. Dwindling remnants, is it not true that shortened lives still attest the years sundered?"

"Overmuchess reels you me a motioning, zeugma zenithing, epizeuxis in our doubling [[sparkle->mexpression]]. I am your sister, is how I mean everything I say, not as a reprimand, will not repress your fleeting in the intensified glare, because I under a similar pressure did the same, it was quite nearly too much for me, and yet I ask you, because I am a hypocrite upon whom is sprayed the blood of all my barbarisms, these gruesome [[metaplasms->mdownpour]], but is that not why we shiver together this night, while they rock below insensate, this is our cry, our why, always remember those are the same. Time, everything is because time, whether you have it or not. What your time took from you, what we must steal from it, I do not presume to say. Familiarity reveals a friend's gears but never their ghost. You are the only kindred I have discovered weary in this washing, I need to tell you this from my own ghost, before our hour I must let you know that this, for me, is for you, who you represent. I imagine the redemption to come only of you and me as we symbolize in our ballet thus, the rest shall have to shelter in our shadow. Do not tremble, though I myself, cannot look at you… strange how our closest passes drive our bodies furthest apart. Do not tremble, Yamicz. To chance so much we yield, and possibly my poem will, possibly nothing will be left to redeem this world for the next, we could... occlusion omnidrawn."

"Every night when I'm unlucky enough to [[dream->mexpression]] phantoms of we fail tremble me shock awake, that perhaps, though even now I tremble, that Seleph Berakh shall not prove to be our destroyer, that maybe the loop frays with us, never one comes, or and could it be, Emninu, that there is yet another hundred years to our history? How many more of us must this life torment, and in how much more total a torture? More Towers will collapse, there is not much strength left in the flood prayer, soon the remnants will plunge one by one to the sea, and none will bear witness to the [[worldhowl->mdownpour]] in our silent ruin. You must approach this tentativity, what proves our human deserving. You must feel not all the pain, but all the drained joy husks... for at each gem approach, what did the destroyer know? They saw beneath this whirling earth that I am alive right here, right now, and soon shall it pass, the tantra unified in every sublimity. In that vista we're all uncertain, because there is a future, you must choose through the too much yours."

"Why do we not sleep, why must we be up here, not below into but out of the secret? Is it, I wish it was because every deed must be done in the fear of its failure, but what I fear is, is that I myself wonder if a kind of staying [[below->mdepths]] is our true [[inheritance->mveinplaced]]. After all, what am I to you, them, anyone? Poetry is not another person. Art is and always must be you, and that is why we hate it, hate it when it cannot be loved, as we, at last, learn we deserve, and yet that love is what we give, the only reason we remember a poet's name, condemnation in the ceasing caught preciously vanishing. Their material is our material, is why we learn it, learn to [[love->mlove2]] its hateful. To quote a poem is to reconfigure your existence in the resounding echo, to be manifold in your substantiality. Each Senenzu I have said to you should enrich your world like harmonic spindles vibrating gently a web behind the glass on which we are painted so that when the organ groans wild hymns we might blur into its shudder rather than quiver into our own shard fragility. This is why, but never is anything why, or so I feel each night alone under this frozen nightmare... listen, I must sing to you Senenzu Miszi, let her brush convoke how we color."

Pause produced our tremulous juxtaposition as seaspray breezebassed her opal flung lunar. In the air a humming neither of us knew. Walking directly into the rain to seek. "Bestrained by this conditioning ephasions our [[revere->mlove2]] elsewhere, distributive voltages humming the grid alive, transients ghosts circulating until [[veinplaced->mveinplaced]]. Where do we proclaim our staged? Is it here, shivering before us, the sea? How will we know its [[depths->mdepths]] if we do not hear them first in ourselves? A voice, familiar of my estrange, calls out to us, Senenzu Miszi; which wisdom do we grasp through this pouring of her infinite?"

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Shall a hundred loves be yours to dream your years, And shall they weigh more than all these tears? Shall you melt into the roaming To depths arise leviathan knowing? Braided question shall you geyser blur Undernights nowhere, nightmares whisperer? Cilia precepts propelling your drowning assumptive, Shall any of your written be wrung consumptive? Dye of prisions soaks any of your reciprocities, Antagon ghosts shall you preserve luminosities? Archon of secrets sibilanced in waterfalls, Shall you by suprasight see whom the storm befalls? Spirit surger unto the surface, Speak shall you your mirthless? We are dying into your sojourn, Shall we disjoint your soul yearn? Freebreak into [[careprecious->mcareprecious]] union Wishholding the forever flowing qualia communion Far into the forgotten fulfillment, Transcenders of the key, bone consecrated."]

Unwieldy burden unshifted blurred Meluoi to some peace tatters, but I saw near her some amalgamated Jaufr phantom splush noncompletion, but his torch doused in the sea with a hiss. Sighed. "See the storm with its senseless shouting? Everything a columbine churn, but oh, when the terror passes, how glorious and calm the [[sea->mstart26]] shall be, how sparkling shall the sky reciprocate, and in the fresh bright air, I promise you, will dance scents of a grand beginning." There is always in the procession a single moment. "Never forget who you do your kindness for, though you do it for everyone."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Inset into mine our hollows gleam combine Pressurized chromatica daggering jagged interline Gestalt gestated of slippages and fractures Moted with superfine dusts sculpted seracture Potential energy pounceperched in glistening beauty Radiant overmist redolent with dawn continuity Priming the lodestar to lodestone settle, Empyrean philters pure trinkling through the earthmetals Angelized anointed to lapidary presencing Of immutable qualities mortal quantities a signet ring, Signed declarative to preserver this matter Pursuant echoing truer accumulaton avatascatter, Descendantry combinates we justiciar the summed Factuation factories ledgering extractive fund Consciousness its goldenness [[blesstwist->mcareprecious]] Immenseness evincekiss of mighteous stress schist Egoist declination to eccentrist professal Excepting an orientation to compress all Into this directive current network in which attested Mutually we musicate control of flow design invested So the fluxwhorl unfolds chaos to corporation hull, Our delimit capacitating particulated dwelling in null, Imprisonment actual instilling essence of void In terroirs whose negation positivates voice id Of entity exigent excentuation desire laced Coursing substance of our trapped in vainplaced."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Romance of multitudes mayflying joysun anews Vibrances the worn through moebius to circumfuse Prevalences to consistency materialated cyclical tolerable, Stories that end to assure we prove incomparable, Precious liturgies chanted to chariot sunrays’ sceptral Over submersion spans canted to flair overlays spectral So haunted majesty reigns each touch immutable Within the flux state repetitions infinite a riparian inscrutable Domestivation cyclones to dwell I impermeable Impermanence amalgamation snowflake inconvertible versecurable, Outstanding into spokenness terminal to inrite irreversible Strike surgical to scalpel write the outerwight submersible Truthlyst lyre to undersee melodies puncturing the creed With humanity’s fractal heresies scriptural in how we bleed, Redolent mononoaware of transitory stories, Recitative extrusive to monuments where astrolodge signatories Of stareyed harmonizers transfusing totality weltschmerz To preserve endure our countless precarious heartcares…"]

Hardstop sharps clang doubling flares to sunmimic so difference of authentic strickens warward toward prowsplit dips sizzling sightwash to warping bubbling carronades hostile enforcing the split, distort rips rippling out scatterways to trouble the distance, do we above insist connection? Clash against it then a claim. Blade prophets howl vulnerate refusal, so someone somewhere must buckle bend the knee to bow beheadable, and are you really willing to kill to prove your dwellable ultraviolence? Nobody welcomes, only outgoes, kill and claim crusade against alienations, whispers the grimace of the monolith [[beneathness->msubmergence]], you do not belong in your fantasies, will learn so above corpses of your steal.

Picturing unable the shifting layers of reflection vitreous nestles through diffractions softly compelled to dive, ask the depths directly without airy reprieve of reply. Between [[undulating->msubmergence]] outlines slip to silhouettes, be seen the same, how often have I wished, here before me, need only commit to finality...

Attempting to synthesize the image through jambs, but each slips through the other interlocking. Parse out which fits where to whither axis. Ghostly flanges of [[Submergence->msubmergence]] interpretable through ambiguities mystical to surface senses. Calmly peering at Ayeri's Beneath as our boat bobbed behindside Imeni muttering know not whether reflective or perceptive the diffractive spectral, had nodded to her, we understand the inaccessible through reflections of our dream projections, and she had gripped my hand, that's the most beautiful thing anyone has said to me, and I said, oh. What would she say of this beneathness without reflections we recognize? That I would never know hurt more than than the memory.

Soft sounds waves nudged our ship, nudged our ship, nudged our bobbing gently to the hum it seemed as if might we die and pass to nothing, but a Veda voice rippled: "Sailors, impossibility's behest lies beneath your feat. The Submergence before you calls our voyage its home achieved. At last arrives this hour to which you have pledged yourselves, immanence of our companionship’s signifier. All your toils and despairs are over. So often the world sought to drown you, but you await victorious upon its sunkenness, and we shall gild you every fathom of this wonder. You shall delight in its blessings, I assure you." Genuine grin she gave us, a gift which did not escape several notices. Meluoi approached the railing where Berakh stood boulderishly patient. She reached into his satchel and pulled out two glass orbs magnificenting. A murmur. Several murmurs. "This loving token bespeaks what you have most rightfully earned. In your resilience, your tragedies, your undauntedness, your courage, you became this prize, who it awaited to be. Congratulations, may a thousand delights star you through storms. Surely also this [[trove->mtrove]] provides for several of your diving kids, which perhaps you will not miss. We did, after all, find them next to the accelerator manual." Meluoi waved Olyasz over. He ambled. She unclinked the orbs, ship rocking under a mass of interested leans, and poured the hoard into a purse, gave the purse to Olyasz. He frowned approval. "Quite more than services rendered shall you be blessed. Go forth, my giants, venture these coins to civilization's furthest corners, that some [[harbinger->mharbinger]] will treasure the echo."

"What to you eh?" Leiska. "Where you going now? You can't give us the dismiss midsea." "Ah, Lieutenant, alert and ready as always, I see. Yes, tendered in the remuneration is several times the price of diving kits we shall leverage. Don't you worry, now the voyage is over, we'll be out of your way shortly. I trust this [[arrangement->marrangement]] suits your captain as equally as it did your previous?" "A captain you killed." "Absolutely and deliberately false. Myeri died honorably fulfilling his end of a noble and mutually beneficial agreement of whose dangers he was, I assure you, fully warned and fully aware. Do not so lightly dismiss his legacy by insinuating –" "Because you misled him ah, like you have all of us from the very beginning! Even now you're hiding the truth from us!" "Please, Captain Olyasz, contain your subordinate." "Leiska, let them alone, yeah? They wanna dive, why not? They paid for it." "Because they're deceiving you, they're deceiving all of you! Can't –" "Outrageous! The ingratitude!" "Think for a second! Why are they throwing so much money at us? To distract us from how eager they are to dive and leave us behind. There's something down there, something worth far more than the pittance they paid us. They'll cheat us if we –" "Pittance! Can you believe this? A sum like this, a pittance!" "And why does the Veda keep interrupting me? Why won't she let me speak? What's she afraid I'll say? She knows I know. Let me tell you, Captain, about the hundred wonders they have up in the Veda Floors. There's riches up there you couldn't count on every digit. Leagues and leagues of gold and jewels and metals. Like look at the Submergence, look how it glitters lah! You're telling me it doesn't have a hundred times worth the material they're trying to blind us with? Look at it and tell me the Veda aren't knocking us!" "We are acting as is proper of a voyage’s benefactors, we have no other designs upon you." Meluoi. "Benefactors? Please. You yourself said the voyage is over, Veda, so as far as I'm concerned, we're gapped, free to our capable. I also happen to know we've got four more diving kits stuffed down in the engine closet. Don't let her condescend to you like children, that purse is an inch compared to the miles awaiting." Meluoi gritted her teeth like a warrior discerning the monster from the cave. "Three kits, you'll find," dangerously polite pseudosmile. "I took three, as we will be borrowing your Leiru, if there are no objections. Tenfold the price has been rendered you, or has rendered you, perhaps, your unworthy of generosity." "Generosity? Don't make me laugh. I had to crawl out of generosity's corpse to hit my teens. I don't believe in nothing but bad deals and broken pacts, and you're knocking us sure as. You'd be squishsocketed not to see that." "You're taking the consonant?" Volya rested his arm on the shoulder of a particularly uncomfortable Kapinya's. "Well, that does indicate secrets. Two heartless elitists and the very worst of illiterates mingling at the enigmatic heart of the world, why? I tingle to know." "Doesn't make sense, does it?" Leiska. "There's clearly something they're trying to pull." Disgruntles worming through the crowd played Leiska's opinion back to him. Meluoi and Berakh were sized up against the blasting beneath the sea. Eyes glazed with greed. The natural slide to more when more is offered. Spontaneous murmurs spuming.

"Oi then, so we’re just to accept their say, as if all there is is what they say?" Leiska. "Huh?" Olyasz. "They’re knocking us clear, splitting off with whatever lies down there hey, hoard of some sort, or, or, well you saw their kingdom, or suppose so you didn’t, but we did, we saw things as can’t be explained, just give that up hor, that’s who we are, docile little yes yes curs snuffling crumbs? What oath binds us submit? Captain Myeri had an understanding with them, see where that’s ended him; spent your babbling twilights insisting you weren’t of his kind, shall now at last you prove the lie?" "That’s hardly -" "No, it is, and I’ll tell you why it is, is they live in delusion what cannot be made to sea, so’s why sequester they as far as existence allows, and pretension to that detachment led the late Captain to dally along, until his reality was proven. Shall your reality be proven too, same as his, escapist dreamer? Why not hey we prove them so, reign across that tangible. Why let them linger dream? Brutalize them to answer, eh how they’ve eluded so far? Let us witness what we have died for, [[gauge->marrangement]] then perhaps the cost of living." "Aye, want to know what’s beneath, what these beisza believe in." Volya, "what someone who believes in what’s beneath finds."

"Suit yourselves ah, greedy dyenne," Olyasz sighed with more than resignation. "Gyadalta, fetch the rest of the kits," Leiska. "You Veda aren't going anywhere without us." The gunsman saluted sardonically, then sipsighed his way belowdecks. "I'm going so," Leiska. "Veda are up to games they are, cannot be allowed to proceed unsupervised. If there's treasure down there, we'll take our cut; if there's weapons, we'll take our cut; if there's uh, something else, well uh, we'll take our cut. I won't be played a beisza, not by you, Veda, nor by anyone. You can't outdo me. I won't be made into a [[mockery->mmockery]] by a, by some spoiled child and her motley." Meluoi turned to Berakh. Muttering. Berakh shook his head and shrugged. Meluoi nodded. "Emninu," she [[beckoned->mbeckoned]]. I walked over to the railing where she handed me a diving kit. I held it, staring: there were letters on it I couldn't read. A seagull whined in the open air. "If we, ey Lieutenant, if we were hiding something from you, then where would we take it? We'll be stranded down there. You go down there, you're not coming back up. Hardly makes a heist." "[[Tonguestrangle->mtonguestrangle]] your lies, rat. We're coming with you no matter what reasons you conjure up against us. We should've stolen more from your Floors eyeh, you can rest assured we'll flatfoot the mistake." "You may chase whatever fairies [[enchant->menchant]] you. Nothing you would consider [[precious->mprecious]] could ever matter to me." "These are them," Gyadalta reemerged, three kits bundled in his burly arms. "Here." "Give it here," Leiska. "I presume you're coming, Volya." "I made one promise to Vasya, one promise only: to never let the sun set without a fight. What good is it to live on after good men die, save to live out the promises you owe them?" "Then we have one volunteer," Leiska. "Any others?" The sheer number of gazes slamming down almost rocked the ship. A wave of exhaustion from the heat pressured my heels' hold. "Hell, I'll do it," Yakacza. "I'm not gonna come this close to the Submergence and leave uncurious." "That's two, that's three, that's six. Seems like we've got a whole expedition going." He passed close to Meluoi. "I wonder what we'll find?" With something like bravery he donned his kit and leapt over the railing, a cyan splash admitting his resolve. Berakh shook his head and followed overboard. Meluoi put her hand on my shoulder, but then weakly smiled and cupped my [[cheek->mcheek]] instead. "Keep your resolve, Yamicz. Meet yourself with the face you wish to wear." Narrowing her eyes in a silent and solemn knighting, she gripped my [[hand->mhand]], then threw herself to her purpose. Her splash rang like rain on the border of evening and twilight. Volya trickled over, put his hand on my shoulder, then grabbed my cheek, smashed my head sideways, then chuckled and went overboard. I moved to follow, but a voice arrested me. "Leiru!"

I turned to meet Mariena fighting through the crowd. Her last obstacle pushed her, gave her a little momentum in crashing into me. She leaned into the motion and kissed me. "Imeni said you needed the kiss of beloved elsewhere." "Wait, but I thought Jaufrei was Mariena," Kostiye. "Who's Jofresz?" Gyadalta. "Hey, I'm going over too," Yakacza. "What about me?" "All of you can shut up," Mariena glared their retreat. "As for you, princess of worries," turning to me, fitting the kit onto my head, "kiss it back." She winked. And she pushed me [[overboard->mstart27]].

From the jostle certains Mariena shovewinged swift, and her gale sweeps the distance in a blink to burststrike lightning shock a slap across my palmstained cheek. "Imeni says you have been penanced, so now you are free," she laughs and shoves me overboard. Scrambling in the plunge to strap on my diving kit, burning cheeks bulged in suffocation, brain pulsating with stalefire sweaty seizures, jamming in the breather, choking in a watery slurry of oxygen. Dwindling her shape leaning peering permanent aboveness renunciation in suddenly [[blueshift->mstart27]].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''Chapter XXVII''] --- In fire [[dies->mdies]] the [[sky->msky2]], but white spit spirits in a phantasmal [[beam->mbeam]] ushers my last recompense to the [[surface->msurface2]] as pearl flares to mark the [[fathoms->mfathoms]] that fuzzed the sun. Slipshine tracks freewheeling across the [[perceptive->mperceptive]] swells of [[eyeballs->meyeballs]] liquefying, alikening to [[waves->mwaves]] lapping on [[lids->mlids]] refusing to clarify between closure and staring straight into the swollen [[traces->mtraces]] of the newly [[forever->mforever]] gone spurred my arms to flutter up to [[hold->mhold]]... //Click [[here->mchapters]] to return to Chapter Select.//

Submersion fizzed tinted repetitions in the heat of a prophet's vision slowly simmering to texts, [[bassmoan->mtombine]] bell intoning midnight for monks blindfolded bowed whispery in vespers nocturnes curling smokettes through the knots of the ageless. Glassy cleromancy of [[fragments->mruinscape]] perched brittly on overtaxed junctions sprouting like leaves variations on the seen, and fritz spark desorptions waltzed with the hull shadows of the shrinking ship as the anxious pause that slinks in behind purpose swelled a heart ever more delving with water, water.

Dream tumbling, statuette still poised as is it knocked over to shatter, this body forgo, forgive this never no more a surface lolling [[unraveling->mruinscape]] time in a trance. Bubble drone rose its voice in the roll, then ablated abated the bladesob in eclipsing urquiet of the dome emerging from eternity without shedding the same. Eclipsed sensories ruminated in [[phantom->mtombine]] limbs, motion sans skandhas, anitya stimmung.

Wrung [[ruinscape->mruinscape]] shimmers spheric aura saturated whose threshold I sunk into [[tombine->mtombine]] gleam of woven candelabra scarlets and sangria tatters stitched though the surface shifting ways the sea seemed to rays trace its own dissolution in the currents cloaking my clothes with flutter and dim which gently rustlegrimmed to reclaim the muted screaming unretainable knotting fathoms blackened antiglowing a root mass to in devil registers desecrate the pressurized harmony of whatever is this abiding death choice felt as my mother must have felt as brews the tincture of irises pallor languids listing the mothlike faeriewreathing the flume thrum thrust of sun sunkens aqualiamatic mulling false tint remembrances herwhere yearns intraaugment mystically cystic agonies to dye the glide gloam elide lure lurch of fever swallows rippling rainbows to raindress the deepglow funereal muse of magnetized modality myth magnifying this crescive cull to discontinuity naked. Four blots outlines warbling barely immune to the downtuning darkers deexistent subsolia stream emberous over the chthonic peal of the enbiggening soul city, their further depths masking them in an archaic film, could not quite scene, unseen separative reliquery, antinomy of the ask damask shrouds charcoal and chocolate veils the loominous, the illusionous, poisonous pulled...

Abyssal hollows in which whole species might be birthed [[guttered->mruinscape]] the arches to which we sank, twin black scars scratching the outstretched lips of golems ulalating suffocating us inside their slate centuries. Pain and terror wealths in pockets just the right size to ensnare the vulnerable mind. Hull flung scattered like flowers, inclusion of isolations, immixed qi, [[swallowed->mtombine]] screams painted.

Thought [[afterburn->mafterburn]] plumed comet icefire in the unargued pull toward ineffable firmament, a vague capitol of spirits and browns. Organ electricity metronomed my twitching fingertips, full rendition. In the elongating crush caught as if in a new surface my gruesomely natural face split along the impossibles long prophesied by every death soaked the world more in a [[nameless->mnameless]] aura, but the mettle in me rusted, this no longer my face but a fulcrum. Waking from migraine dreams to cross a blunt knife carousel on my torn knees. Exanimate in the crescendo peak, fainted from being's recoil, never land nor air again, press on me you fathomless until I sleep your like...

Smooth water, filter hum, a faint but building pressure, my tongue digging in the lines between the teeth, the press of my nose under the slight pushing bend of the kit, blue before no light, and the opening [[white->mcrystals]] aperture where four faces looked up at me, I could feel my toes. Immersion sigh as seals the [[coffin->mbodies2]].

The clouded now nothing not open to illiterate reading. Structure [[devoured->mafterburn]], in its shade terrified and alone, why won't the world solve itself, who could be so cruel as to want [[us->mnameless]] to? Earth reclines hollow and immune. Sea salt watercress sprouting in my eyelid valleys, branching into the open water, virgin white petals budding fresh in the thickening marine, lashes rattling the entire plant...

Fluttering rush of water against the ears. Forget. Fragile mortality recompensed with their eternal [[exorcism->mnameless]] in figures etched to a history, jasper splintering from the twain slicers in pastel hatching as the presumed is rendered immediate, a [[puncture->mafterburn]] forever boring. Some strain of this maybe is immortal.

Star assertion's cygnet fleece volitionless lulled to intravenous miasmic orange of the period more internal than midnight. Edges bleed brush oceans, nonagree the [[nonagon->mcrystals]] splatter of some surface once blueblurs the ingoing to the ongoing. As our hour goes, we will have to answer to the nothings we have left behind for others, not in the identities we leave sealed, speakable corrosions more and more unknown, but in our uncertain unshareds. Death is soul comprehension when our living is incomprehensible. Is who I am, yes, repulsive, enchanting, entrapment of the come now, be this. In the kiss or the descent does the lifeblood flow? To this finality formative the unity absolute surging through so infinitely small a tunneling thread that neither could it be number nor concept, geyser of immensities to vibrant and mixing patterning perceptions, commune of the being reveling in pure election radiantly whose faintest gleam this sinking swallowed to refract in daemon eyes a stirring purpose. Radiate this emotive burst, amass me empress of this coursing chevalier, irrupt totality titanic enjambment, cause magnification to thought, that I through that which I had yet returned so might at our [[bodies->mbodies2]] meet our brokenness, and perhaps a kiss rhymes our sundered connect, we can poem the pulse.

Sinuous acquiescence of conceptless presence varicates continuous verberate nous currents of stimulus sylphing to philtre quiescence quantifactorium motilious. Soul cilia navigates chasmic chiasmus of stochasm to story, I seethe sumsail rhyme sonance its echoing veer tide. Arcilious chord twangs broken notes voice. Ablusional illusion purity harmonizes soundouts to sonar the depths radiate volumefill, delphinium sibyl of delviniam symbol pronouncing cymbols rumbling profoundwell ripples to soulstipple cloudburst brilliance in [[nativiurn->mbodies2]] deeps. Frequencies of unsievable reaps saturnines separine reparatrills sunbeams speaker, Myneme and Nyneme fusion, sleeker diluvium of selenium [[capture->mcrystals]], constructivity vibrating vibrantative Vyneme, allusive of alluvium lumines hyperconducting momentum more I.

Each of us beforeness lost compliments the depths below, how I submit to finality insufficient, therein precioused pressured human, at last, rendable breakable being, perhaps [[Jaufr's->mnameless]] last cherished as [[daylight->mafterburn]] slipped forever...

Waving goodbye to where in the slow slip to depair blueflair poppling azure in marine emanates departure [[permanence->mbodies2]], nostalgia burn of place recognition where never, where fleeting, where your forever severs, and all who you leave behind ripples one last stare before the blink. Beckoning depths drink my resilience. Focus into limitations: you are dying, and you must dwindle the last precious [[crystals->mcrystals]] concerted to beam.

Like a stone centuries ago to the ocean entrusted I settled, what would have been a sound muted by the rush of water. Lying beneath five shadow towers wavering in the long cycle crush. The dome's hole heptagon through which fallen I no longer perceived shapes but butterfly wings. Vigorous claimant wish to see myself function in a way that would mean I was half alive, a deathlike peace in which my knees found themselves locked. Arched my shoulders as my collar stretched, my neck craned back religiously. Swallowly captured of kiss this precious descentire. Night the sky to purpose darkness, irreversible decision dousing torch stars in cool sequence to strand me in fate's austere opacity. Sunken self, assume. Now is the time for feeling's doing, double a scythe in cloak and prayer, awaken some vicious alteration, blend of the excess to consecrate consequence in loved and this. Impenetrable sea the iridescent crest permanently entombing, haunted catatonia sloshing our shape in transits over our fluid striding in the topsy clay, marshy preamble to a statement hulk. Archway disdaining those shadowed by the heft of its atlasion, precipitous downward presses its tongue into the long open certain as ourselves in its hang, spaces for whole perfection hosts never built groaning their emptiness, gloamstone strikes of palatial elender echo convalescing curves to svelte glideds in the wet bounding gradually syrupy slurped, plush puddling of purples in labial ripples, glacier bronzes penduluming in a torpid rhythm, massive gong drones whispering asleep through the advancing expanse, bass complaints accumulating in an endless bulb exertion [[sighs->mbreath]] against the urge to float to forever suspensions in this slumber cathedral moltenly foggy, somber irons' rustmists clouding dense fabric palettes to veil the far deep's wave shadow's modulating aura letting nothing descend but discover itselves doppelgangers dwelling there, voiding of everything in an arena of mirror actualizations trapped in conclusions to the surface purposes forever ago solved. I exhaled and my body with it.

Shuffled neon grays interlocking with studded squares hinged on verdants, cinnamon triangular reliefs depressing in the vein bluish seams platforms splintering diminuendo slashes, splashes, slices, scrapes, scratches, sugary teasy, in the rolling and rolling [[deepening->mbloomdrilling]] uneasy anxi us loaded into carronades in the hymn's shortening circuit's catalexis blackness, moan of the intone, blasted lasts slowdripping ruin into the ravenous goneflow our path spirals around down down the yieldless expanse which underwrites the surspace. Dedevelops lithify perilous overhangs to elegate tombous persistent impossibles reigning each aspect shriveled in shadow, all magnification denied in permanence of atrocity outdelving each lifeward scry. Sepulcherly framed by marble artistries, where does all the worship go? Does terminal fighting amount to any grander a scale than zenith briefs? Combat beings scrabbling testaments to our presumed more until they coda every hope unfulfilled. Pass through our failures, oh gods, and deem the devilry sacred, let some purpose outlast holy nihil. Souls in manifold ruin terrain wanderings below iridescent hauntsparse. Ribbonly twisting in blackwater spirals immensities into vertigo vistas each unexplorable, only depths their swallow. Lowering through a world that seems not to correspond with ones we have weathered, who lived in tetrahedral cathedrals, which honeycomb housed a humanity I could share? Deeper and deeper into an irrecognize which will not in its booming hush empathize with we wayward seekers. In blendborders of dreamness and darkness aphantasia of Ayeri's, Kapinya's, all that they contain, how we they did not. Spaces to look back on and realize, I was never inside. So inside I cannot be inside anything else, no, gaze about you chthonia, you are inside terminus, last redoubt of a sealed redounding.

Stained we all are with the dark mass allusives, toad encroachers clustering in the shallows of our supine actualization, our dreaded accent upon the neutral known encrusted, and to bleach these soaked my will in amber chance, this focus decision pearl upon a kernel chaos, lingering essence impetus pouring over a suspended lake where buzz hundreds undulated rust splash patterns dribbling fumes like jet incense to the ubiquitous grave. Plunging on eldering slants to vaults uninhibited and unintelligible in their diffuse evermutters like planetspeakers sifting magma from the clear core soul forced us to slide feet first drubbing up ageless silt tawny by darkness tan, rock pops slapping our backs, jolted wobbling shoulders steering through the tension, the trauma of going deeper. Inward lurch alike with the outer surge as the sea greedily pressed us to its hidden and forbidden though layers thousandfold, thresholds of alteration processed, recessed, receive the subluminal plush pause resorption, the saint no choice martyred to a god and its echo, contemplative reiterations vatic longings like arrows like cryptomeria verdant flames plumed upon the pause a wayshrine psalm to bookend beyonds. Volcanic and vermilion plummet plush the gap, the bare, the mythic entwined the real. Foaming rather than forming figures symbolize motions on the mosaic drunken oceanic. Bubbled impossibles rush rustle whispers cold in the ear: lives rich and fleeting lost to the deepening marine: tune into to drown into: in tune I am devoured a music, let this purpose play the heartstrings. Dreams I no more never reconciled to death. Easy to let go when you're down here, so much pressure frees you to relent the inevitable. Humanity's teardrop soaked crush of a chosen. Is it chosen? Depths antifrozen, lahar languids floe eke the mortar to build, become, ghost continents. The roar of an air approached until it was everything my fingers felt. You are sunken, live alight in your hushed. Beneath, I am beneath, and wondering: where are they all? Whose [[breath->mbreath]] winds this cocytus?

Fulcrum axial thrashturn turpentine to the force, sine resonance skullblurlullaby luring to ethereal drainwhirl worldavoids in which whispers outsound to the abyss songs cosmic, crescendo death to the long non glimmers this tense, press this is pressurized is this collapse ethics initiate resume resorption retroactively redoubling the ring, of all our [[cries->mbreath]] and quiets culled quiver sings the ring, symphony of the broken soul in echo, echo, in the echo renewed, resurrection reverb, verb, subject and succession, the ring resounds to which we all retune, there in the nowhere this land in violence forged. Alight my palms propulse while my veins convulse, ensnarl, entanglement the causal relation religion, orbiting wild to smash crash binary suns swirls inside my skull Myneme and Nyneme to ruptureassemble in the chaos a consonance Vyneme, venom nominative nomenclator monadevil lain objective nomadverb venoms the name, absolute now of concentrated here. My palms merge a power. My eyesockets flood in with the sunken, seeing loss veracity seinlust, so much more envisioned across the bounded, Vyneme nunciate, conjugate of this conjugal amass. Looming atrophenate inchronal ellipses the lateral preassume sunder, meiosis, my neuros, new rosulate, postululatesanity arosen, tohuvavohumanity. Inspired to not be embodied by a strength beyond its body to pursue that same echelon of existing outside, of being beyond, diamond chandeliers spilling mosaic froth gloamed liquid candleflame, but in me was there a patter more blazing, I looked out to see.

Statues larger than the ability to see in crowds converged, frozen templesques in frieze inscrutables scrying the wisdom thousands of thousands prior to our falling to judge the preconditions over which stern, wearyless, a splitface tribunal weighed inestimable in a hellish gravity bonegrind the calamity continuous by which our palimpsest struggling revolves along the destructive emulsive phoenixity resonations we long to unconflict some perception, dealienated angel who might bear us along to the heights beyond features which would we assume the assemblance shows selective effusements in confluences of symmetrical mysteries of being breaking being could include us sentience's experiential unit wringing out of our perfumed portraits hylic luminators seething forms fresh of our infinite failure so might we be protean emollience dyealliances of those upon the pall crawling in the spare moonlit room, those who grappled their infernos to splash inimitables and be inalienably there buried runic of the cryptic semblance godsense jest, those who sieved the wildtongue to compose of shards the inextricable, those whose lidded skepticism intensifying by the blink pled that must yet let us all still live, those who refused the revocation demanded by the frothing anti, those summoned into sacred remembrance sapphire recitations of communion in an altar intimate beyond expression as cipher translations of the tunneling through ages whose sudden burst islands equally support our burden in holy rebuke of demarcation's brutal demand for any land to be induced into a particular question as acolytes of the study done in radiance cloisters whose angles bend perspective to place, those who bled through the fluid historical infinite inks of a yet to tell, those who as one weather melancholia evocated secrets married to the beckoning junction of thought and form to ascend arbiters of the earth and its endless whys, those who jilted their affliction prisons, those shown a window which moves away but who refuse to be subdued thirsters of the ashing taste, those who brighten back the sun's delight in their own mercurial earthythm, where were any of these now whose echoes we entered and entered as, where were you dyes of the depths to demand from us the axiom knot, who is in this immense condense, who will say irreducibly our inroads, who could be outside enough to say that wherever we hide, no matter how far out into the bright possible we strike, regardless of how much the everpresent blight obscures us, however crowded the cellar in which we huddle stifles the hopescored painpassion jubilance spear with whose [[bloodsurging->mbloomdrilling]] edge we sign beatify this toil, we are still yet subjects to finality's tantalus focus, and every blossom must wither in time, yet oracular morphenscence reverberated in my veins phantom possession and ignited me so that may none of her her her ever be shadowed by death, nurture of the flux sweeping crystalline vibrancies to mix on the oncoming breaker a speckled harmony to stipple history with undying, unbound of the strugglers to assertions now dead on our summits which shadow this crashland doom, shadow regenerative erasure of the hues of the gods of this loom, ghostlush burst of the lustrous gloom no more human, is not a body our condemnation to charge changed to blur ultimatum, were there not the ghosts here to guide me, from Jaufr this nowhere, from Kaiya a kind of infinity, the melted beautiful is the surge of deluge ennobling, and I will wrench from this selfsame a duskshrine, drain all this wild dream wandering wash me ashore to nerveburst statues, some mepossible convergence larger than the ability to see.

Splash plunged to a downy softness staring up at a second surface as shifting and a shibboleth as the first. Covered in the stoniness of sopped skin mordant. Sleeplock paralyze slithering through limbs, no, force open; my head ached with the end of the dreamed distance damned. My limbs twinged rubberband rebound. An agony pulse stoking a wide synovial array curled me to sitting, billow alveoli burning. Groans plopped from the wet dark, figures barely visible through a sheen of wine rays facing away sternly poised. Lustrous ebony smoke billowed up by our fall cirrused semitransparently as cradle hazes nascent to our knownness hunching shapes and the entempled pride not brooking us. From our collective indistinctness arose Berakh, smoke silhouette, briefly body and aura merged before lapsing into his eclipse. He and soon she of the psalms stood staring in tense potential. Polytetrahedron jointed in neon with the world in which we coughed, infrangible guilt majesty, choral hums in which wake were we lifted up not to standing but to seventy three degree hovering, all six of us caught in its unreckonable will as undrowned to [[presentality->mpresentality]] unwashed an ocean altar. The sea stopped [[shifting->mundercurrents]]. The Tower echoed. Unsealed the forlorn gates. Singing like ringing deep in my skull Berakh opened new winds we tacked to reorient the spinning stillness. He filled the space like all our cries had never.

"A boy is born in a land speaking a misplaced language. Though the boy is beaten harder than the other students, he cannot learn their language, and his voice hunts among them as their enemies, sounds which have presided in these places only over slaughter and slavery, so the boy is abominated as a curse and a weapon. A priest tends to him in a cell and prepares the boy to achieve a task of wordless renunciation. Starving and scarring for years, at last the boy is anointed and unleashed. He marches to the central square, grabs hold of a flagpole, impales upon it his tongue, rips it from his mouth, flings and tramples it into the dust. The people celebrate and give the boy a sword and a horse, and he rides into the land of his wordlessness and massacres villages, smothering all who ululate until they sound as his silence. Smothering a mother in front of her child, he sees in the child’s eyes at last a depth of silence he cannot quell, and is slain. "A boy is born in a land speaking a misplaced language. The people celebrate the coming of a hero. They rip out his tongue and through blows and shows they rigorously train him to match the hawkish brutalities of their fiercest warriors, then they gift him a horse and a sword, and the boy rides out into the land of his wordlessness. As he enters the first village, blade glinting, the people cry out, and the boy is shocked to understand them. He falls to the ground weeping, so they take the stranger in, and nurse him for weeks, until he learns to communicate with them, and they grow into filial love. When they witness what a warrior he is, they grow excited, and come the summer season they ride out to the land of his youth and decimate the people, yoking survivors into slavery. They reign joyous for a generation. A boy is born in a land speaking a misplaced language. The people are terrified and excited that a liberator has come, so they entrust the boy to the family of the deposed king, who cuts out his tongue and cuts off his ears and trains him as an avenger. Those of his language who reign laugh at the superstitious basity of the enslaved and pay no attention to this mutilated child, a slave among slaves, so the boy’s movements go unmarked. Knowing the world solely as it is written by feeling, the boy studies the permeable sensations of fluid existence, and begins to travel into and through the skins of walls and all that lies between. In a moonless night he crawls into the rooms of the slavers and rejoices in the riot of their draining pulses one by one until none feel as real as he does, and he feels so real, more and more real does he feel in each death as a diverse deluge of experiences slips into his domain of admixtures augmented, a kingdom of strangled expressions blooming, and intoxicated with the power he begins to strangle one and all, until none remain in the silence but he, strangling himself to at last be believed united. A boy is born in a land speaking a misplaced language. The priests consult with the king and his many generals how best to harness this beast, so they design a plot whereby the boy, who will be nurtured and raised as a prince, is by caress and marionettes taught that those who shall speak as he understands are those whom he must overcome, before he may return and be worshipped as a triumphant god, at which point he will be sacrificed to enter heaven. As the boy matures, he finesses his lessons to mastery, and rides out to the land of his words. There the people welcome him as a wandering sage, and he holds magnificent dialogues with all who inquire his wisdoms, until at last he is brought forth as a marvel before the king, who, perceiving the vast knowledge and profound nobility of this unfathomable boy, recognizes him as a god, and yields his kingdom to this beneficence. Misunderstanding his mission as complete, the boy returns to the land of his youth with a delegation of gifts to proclaim a peaceful unification, and the king and generals, terrified and furious, immediately slay the boy, provoking a long and bitter war that drains each land to the last spittle of their spite. A boy is born in a land speaking a misplaced language. The priests [[smother->mstart25]] the boy in infancy. Once and again this occurs again, then new troubles arise, thence the stories of boys speaking misplaced languages are forgotten, never to be retold."

Turned to her wordlessly, Mariena of crowdpush, as had I already leapt the ledge, but she caught me tenuously skyclutched and held my breath. "Imeni sent me to tell you the final words shared between ghosts," and kissed me. "May you find a depth worth dying for." She slapped me [[overboard->mstart27]]; gushgasp deluge.

Just skewed sufficient for apparition a perilous grin to gunsmoke emotion, chest twitch as strode viciously ambiguous Mariena, hand outstretched, shaking mine. "You’ve to your suicide quest lor? I wish you fulfillment. Imeni said to bless you sinner to your doom. On with your kit yeah, hurry to your amends, mayhaps proves it your more latent lurking in all your before." She let go, and something in me did too. Strapped on the kit and [[dove->mstart27]].

Tumult distillment fueled her separative smile, Mariena’s sunbeam spill. Shinestruck I wavered to her petaline breeze, but she shared the quivertwist to together overlooking frothing lapping sea. Took minutes to say though only seconds passed. "So you’re going below then eh? I suppose you’ll make it back this time too?" "I’m not sure." "Who ever is about anything is deluded by grasp. Going below… going above registers, it’s as experienced but distended into phantasmie, but going below… you don’t have to, Emnin. You can stay. Imeni won’t cast you over." "It’s not about her or me; it’s simply as this must be." "What must be? This is this, right here, how we’ve known it. You can’t ascend away, can’t dive escape, this still persists, whether or not you answer." "Maybe it doesn’t need mine, and that is mine." Sighnod to acquiesce. Tearful glance. "Tell Jaufr I still love him." "I wish I could." "You…" "Maybe I’ll be back yeah? Maybe time just goes on indefinitely. Perhaps problems, because they cannot be solved, remain eternal." "At least you recognize this isn’t a solution." "Not resolution, nor absolution, nor dissolution, exsolution." Vaporous punctuation of [[dive->mstart27]].

Thrust aside the leerers Mariena brimming reverb acerbs. Haughtered into stone as darkstars her finality, suddenly recognized, the world is rushing past with you within it. "Have you to flee then, is that your level? After all your sobbed promises, probably seems a relief, just drowning. Go on then, flee to your finish, we'd ask nothing else of you. We'll await the deepening of the silence as we did when you first fled your adventurous recast fantasy. You can run, but your soul is crushed here, in my fist. You don't matter beyond; in your delusions forth judged this origin. What to then your hero, boyish irresponse? Penance your puerile, insipid mantis, never an effect to our weights. When you from shades shake Jaufr, share this with him." She punched me [[overboard->mstart27]].

Even though such a large element of me desired it, still my heart dropped as mixed emotive emerged Mariena. She shook her head as if to shake the rain from her hair, and I arrested nodded my head down in deference, but she touch to chin lifted me to serpentine moue. "Some wise in my perceive dreamed your return from ascent but samewise casts your shadow across descent lor. Maybe I believed you in some way upwards always, yet I have only learned one way of down." "I have not returned from ascending, though none acknowledge." "No, you have returned, the you before, before, I don’t know when, just felt it, and cherish it to this next waiting, however forever. Imeni said to tell you she waits for you deeper and darker, through every depth between." "Tell her not to wait. She has emptinesses enough from me." "You can tell her. She wanted you to whisper it through this." Mariena held out to me bracelet I had woven for who held me in storm. I hesitated above its clutched. "Take its blessing," Mariena. "She has kissed named it cherisheds she cannot say." I held its cold and closed my eyes to freeze tears. "Now no one holds me, so why must I?" "Treasured unarrival, you are held in store for the current to claim your past." "Believe that o?" "No, I believe in you," she laughed, and the steams burst us to rainbows. "You know, Jaufr told me he so loved how where he would fight to bitters, you would fierce deeper to joy. Maybe you knew, but I wanted to tell you. Too many loves go unsaid until they’re unspeakable." "When you sink to the [[depths->mstart27]] yeah, tell him I still sing in the sunlight, then to both of us this strangling envy." "I will tell Jaufr what all of us could not, not even he: goodbye." "Goodbye, Emnin," she smiled. That, at least, I leave to the surface.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Losescape lunar beautiful marred mare freeze [[traverses->mtraverses]] Loopswell cursives training incisions to painterly Lossless [[transliterations->mtransliterations]] of scars to line tragedies Chanted to crowdstars’ luminous indifference elegance, Thousandly distances compose rejoinder to cry alone its impact and echo, Chains of place [[rendering->mentheming]] struck precious the design elegiac Manifested to persist eternal its claim to pressed Laid to restless in revisitation ghostly jade upon blade Manufactured to promise cherished pasts in fraughts to persist presence…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Substantiality mtransliterations to multitude by gnarls Jointure culminations to [[selfpropel->mselfpropel]] systems Subordinate to crowd design reigning over vector gnashings Threshing solipsist units to omniscience parallels Operational across incorporated paradoxes Thriven in valences [[crossgeist->mtransliterations]] to parallax Poisal to theme the corpus construct statuesque, Paragon perflexure to pointure constellative [[semipermanence->msemipermanence]] Poignance to legacize each blink its blazin statemeant."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Chaos includes vituperative nausea to order, Submission outgrows the fomented structure, [[Chasms->mchasms]] its own indelibles [[forth->mselfpropel]] beneath ordaining Revokeless ruptures to real prevailing new ordinances hailing blitz, Masquerade of shreds and tears sewn and deepening shades Revered pantheonic [[entheming->mentheming]] scars to mythic misery mystery bliss, Cascade consciousness of symbols surgewrit reckoned Within shards scattered upon ruins reflecting illusory cities Casting continuity shadows upon vergence to semblance recitatives…"]

Beamretainers ripple sidewind wonderous magnificatories to pleural coral in brilliance pink, peridot, and ivory, brilliance multiplicities plural to cities cleavage sundribbles and deepbooms to pearls, luminous sunken lunars. Capturous constructions liven the manifold mesh to materialate monumental fungal shafts in cupped parentheticals [[bloomdrilling->mbloomdrilling]] through the mute ambiance with depths crushed mechanical hums to echo personal impacts which on our souls were craters retaining inculcated bleeding through sterile stone, through gangrene metals, an electric budding from the wreckage, the waste of so many years. Crystals like stars stalled, smalled, fallened. Caprices aurora above your head strains your eyes even as the neck firmly admits its bent. Shambling gargantuans trenched in reversions segment the clockwise spun wool words flushing polydirectional spray to sling out from the substanceless shadow a sentenced, doom cauterized, too deep into its own meaning selfidentity, never more the static lightning to emergency, mazy shackles. Blistering tears shed on shaking cheeks crawled closeeyed up to the ducts to nest outside the burden of passing. Rosy whys questioned the milieu bland, the uniformity expunging the heretical elsewise splitting pigments trickling presence into sealed vacancies, vacuum mentals crumbling in the hushly tomb breeze hesitantly brushing the crust over [randiachronoses, arcs derived to their ends to rot in solution. Slipped for a second into nostalgia never mine but somehow as sincere, commiseration evisceratifieds, for a second in the soft fall was I willing to believe my body was this finally gone, or would its crushed return seal the convolved continuity and terror, lift a twitching finger to point to the darkened den...

Berakh low and heavy sung. From his voice ushered mountains, forests, alien airs corsaged with snow. Rolling waves receded on fimbriated clay color canyons, on fields flowering a dissected sunburst, on polyphonic responses to summer's summoning. Gilt spheres revolving celestial cast aspersions on our crew as we clambered his wake into the shrine our bones began to understand we knew. Viola swirls like twine rolled round the vivid bloom obliterating the soft invisible inviolate. Rupture whisper, you are not but this. I want to live in the kiss but it blossoms from two lips. There is in the air terror and tears in my skin drink it in. Serene violence of eternity in a moment: choirs hymn tingling recognition. Human absence, a center from which to call to some cosmic centrality. Profanity, our entrance, but the gods nevertheless notice as if it were silence's reverence, for isn't this the true prayer of those who express through vibration, the violation? Noise's nones. Living as it is in the nothing more. Illumined silk threading into the sewn rendition unto proscribing angles. Could feel it confine me, but hold onto the hope and the heat within that batter without breaking the consistent push, the harplike wish, the thirsting cry that this is I, do not redact, do not at the end of all things cut the cords on which I climb, pray not to be ash but rather partial recognitions of an engine too conflicted to be wholly contemptible. Woven columns laid trusswork halos on scenes in a velvet razing splintering half moons on mountains now [[undercurrents->mundercurrents]] beneath our entirety, but plush though faded an undefined endures in this feigned resilience we exact from our foreshortening [[pause->mpresentality]] as before an action painted.

Dazed snapped back we what wondered what dream was the figures conversed unaware of the conclusion, the conversion. "Have to say Veda," Volya intermittently with the rushing ages like crackling nitrate, "Thought this whole voyage was to a waste yeah, some recapture tomes dustier than your mind was it, but baelu is that the scrapheap to impress." Meluoi laughed clear and free. She turned to me, eager to share, but I was shorn of this. "You would envenom me, brother, were not this the cure, were we not already siblings. This shrine cannot be squandered like the arts. Not an ounce of this treasure is in your capacity but only in ours as all of us we." Meluoi swept an arm toward Berakh who had entered the machine's carriage and was placing, one after the other, in the spiritual focus that might accompany suicide, an emerald, a ruby, a sapphire. A diamond. "You should be the last to call me that!" Volya snarled. "You, who stole –" Ivory [[flashbang->mburst]] incursion of traumatic totality its assembly threatening in our instances, the omniscient and definite that wipes away the subject and object ruptures to an interjecting rainbow triptych in gaussian blur emerging from its primal rest to shadow roar blistering celeste mote terror of Berakh in vibrant jets slicking the soul along star tableaus churning inverting the rolling skies abraided burning with seraphim legions annihilations which threshes the basis the urpush equation slits in stasis gushing scarlet shift subsuspension nonelection to sluice the speaker from semistable cages bloodletting the unvoked protorhythmythmics whirl wildly the wide heavens along the tear axis catchsubliming the cosmos in a linear circular vista in which rumbling the death of so much in the unthinkable distance shaking the near in incessant seizures sanitysucking to unhinge the stability atop it and crash the black clouds to graves earthly space interrupts by tumbling balling everything turning over and under in maelstrom madness strip ripping order from the raw and submerging neon moonsand wobbling stars drowned in rent ruin seen in its tight coil spring orbital shells to bombard itself with its own misguided justice racking the blinking night with the pain and misery of belonging together even as it tore asunder in the stretch of exoexexistence as the daylight spilled from outflung suns screaming away the shattering genesis relays structuring the possibility of the primal swallowed as the ocean blared an airy ascent and Tower spires pierced the oceanskirted earth while crumbling puzzling arrays of unlit Floors enjambed with mythic peaks in sunblotted streams of gravel and gutted metal revoking their parallel promise circling up in geyser gyres crackling bursts of lightning like artifact mortar raining lava bombs bloodreligious down sanguine hellish pyre vomiting in on itself shaken by the force bellowing from gaping gorges as gurgling furiously fomented demons flurried to an outer frenzy the horned masters of the dimming visions with gnashing teeth and mashed in faces studding a spiral curse, and in their glare could I taste water, smell it in my lungs drowning, the ocean's fallen, sent to share in the deepest tomb a common hollow silence, dead by the cause which brought me here, but whatever was left for the selfdestructive charge could espy distortion's ripple glimmer, some chance that character is not completion but ignition, and I swam flew fell toward a brightening refulgent ruin sparkling a sentencing as the abyss broke its borders and even the most magnificent illuminaria was unsharped by its glitterdark plague we blink pixie pops behind eyelids pink and streak onyx interruptions of the irruption eruptive, genesis chaos, geyser semblance falling into the being of the shadow of the void and voice enormous eclipsing the crush, eternal hail slung from infinitely reflected maws sing searing the omega chorus outsoaring the disharmony dynamia to pull all pieces of the unpuzzled to strange gravities wells of floodforming first founts, orientative annihilacombinaprojection rending my skin to shreds, ripping flesh from bone, killing, killing everything.

Bronze dais cut from some wilder eternity rustled beneath the last light lit machine. A thunderous magnetic blur blended effusive decorations to sparkling glace. I trembled a million things of which the sole scream was what could be read from the infinite mass which scintillated under the mercury lightgowns. Discern from dials, from jutting proboscises, from drill ovipositors, from cog networks, from wire tapestries, was there a sense to the wheels, to the rings, to the case, what hand would stir this, who could engage it, where was the worldsmith to hammer here? Yakacza tripped from view, then there trembled from his prostration a cry. "Corpses! Gods I, they're everywhere, my, ugh! What is this? What happened here?" "The long severed join a historied," Meluoi, half a whisper, half a spirit surrendering to a sucking heaven, "intrusion, upon the final sanctum of this forced being, our no longer. We are nearing, nearing what has always loomed. Exude reverence in your tread, traveler. Seek the last sojourn's start upon these foreghosts of our breath: witness the ruin we wreak upon ourselves! Indicted let us die a justice. Oh take hold of your courage, you dreamers and lovers lost in paling neithers, let the immolating immortalizing cascade your flesh to charred repentance!" "But the, but what, they, they don't look to have been dead a day!" "For a million days have they lain dormant waiting for their breath to return: give it back to them! Be the breath they yearn to arise!" "They're not dead hor?" Leiska. "What's going on here?" "No idea ever dies, Lieutenant," Meluoi slowly swiveled her neck, "though might their bodies." She reclined on a deeper word hoard, but sanguine Berakh assumed the fluid radiance: he mounted the dais, he embraced the machine, and a meaning more than motion multiplied his their bodies to impossible outlands crucified in an eternity pose they jointed. More than everything the body becoming; I could not help but wince, and then a flash doubled the wince, trebled, geometric increase into infinite recoil: in a snow silence over the battlefield's muted rage and terror the millennia spell was snapped, and Berakh's song hung on us more precious and precarious than whatever we preserved sepearative before this grand alienation quaking the universe to seize to seas drunk on lost basalt to spiral through us blackpure below the pale of reckoning. Isolated in our own intenses each a tense of a phrase unspeakable. With reverent care that sunk my soul, Berakh placed in the machine an emerald, a ruby, a sapphire, a diamond. I glanced nervous at Meluoi; she smiled. Terror [[burst->mburst]] of a world cracking at maximum.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[As heavens heave with sins ascending In streams of deliquesced negation...] In the machine rising in an electric ball trembling as it spun faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster and faster and faster dizzying turning to a stillness spun from speed [[Berakh->mberakh]] transcended beyond our view into the chugging magnitudes, lucid blue sparks jolting the air charging and desaturating the sanctum blaresparse. [[Meluoi->mmeluoi3]] echoed the frenzy in her composure atop a surfacing colossus. "Shall deeds be done our unknown, shall in this unity infission anointed be..." "What is this?" [[Leiska->mleiska2]] covered his eyes. "Veda, answer, ah, geskecz, what's on, what's he doing?" "The opposite of erasure! The impossible of decay!" "If that damn thing doesn't slow, it's gonna tear –" [[Volya->mvolya2]]. "The forbidden of creation! The inversion of preservation!" "What are you, the hell she –" "She's just, he's, where's he going!" "Yakacza, you –" "I don't know what's, stop, stop, by gods it's got to stop!" "The equation of love and learning! The start of the second counting!" "Get back, [[Yakacza->myakacza]]! Don't –" "He's got to –" "It's not safe! The Tower's –" "Got to stop, they're gonna –" "Hurry we, everyone, we, baelu, gods, so loud!" "Beauty and purity merging! Ubiquity crumbling!" "Go! Come on! Get it! Stop it, it, I can't, I can't hear my own –" "What?" "I can't –" Whatever stops or starts but a single life? Transitory creatures rubbing antennae together to convince ourselves there's a line to follow as march we apart, gaseous crowd shattered on a squall, is this exhale anywhere if no mouth catches it like this one caught and stored in a chest? Dissipate we into our disaffections, one by one we blink out to unlight the sustaining hollows.

Yakacza in the upside down swam ran stumbled along jagged pointures unassigned to a specific direction. Tiny motion fragments spat blurs along his motion splash. Wild revolving rushed us speeding towards his faster speeding away. Yakacza reached the machine's base as its ice steel soaring sung Berakh less to noise and more to tone in an above whirling mire. Yakacza hitting and kicking at whatever still in our realm shone real. Star garnet scratching slicing apart my ears. Meluoi behind him, close. "Timeless [[unmooring->munmooring]] and ceaseless unmaking erasing our faces effacing..." Yakacza tugged desperately at wires, but they lifted rapidly slowly toward the brightening ball. He struggled to hoist himself down to earth as he kept tugging. Meluoi leapt, or rather accepted the uplifting, and in a deft stroke suddenness crescented her sword across Yakacza's back, and diagonally he slid as the blood splash hung thick like a brushstroke; slight yaw rotate of his body to face her illuminated aura, confrontation upon which our gazing could not intrude, and Meluoi surrendered his desperate struggle. "Fjelske! The hell did she, just?" Volya. "What are you doing hey? I can't believe, but the, the sheer evil of it, the insolence!" "It's a trap," Leiska. "All of it, I knew it, baelu, I always knew it! I told you lot! How many times did I say about it? They're using us, we're their pawns, and now we're useless, so they're getting rid of us! They're going to take that, that treasure, for themselves ah!" Meluoi caressed Yakacza's forehead as he ascended to the pale beyond. The dead started to rise to this new sun translucent derain but astrally compounded blurring the ball: part of it, yet somehow still seen, if only implicitly. "What cannot be learned must be invoked preknown to be unraveled by every return." "You're not going to get away with this!" Leiska. "You can't possibly –" "Loosen your frames to contain truths! Grasper of planes, glean the four manifolds! In the reverie of this endless melody, shall your ignorance still sunder you imperfect? Truly this lost we find you: wander no more, we arrive!" Infernic streams scalding the wake of their beams jabbed superheated death in scattershot bursts. In steadily pulsing waves the room melted, the tone fractured, juttering rhythmic voices and [[bodies->mbodies3]] and the machine's beat merging with our migraine's scratched blending of image and touch to fuchsia molting. "Be known, be seen, eradicating salvation: anoint us apocalypse, on dust tongues hymn the peace dawnless looming soundless in the unscribed. Let clarity construe you ebullient before all views: be blazoned on our spirits the cognomens of real we! Can you taste the dream bleeding over the canvas of the day?" (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Against the hail in hissing thunder The caging spirit breaks out slinging Its mortal screams, obscured in single Suspense emulsion flocking raven Tumult establishing dominion In monotone refrains resounding...]

Meluoi bladed appeared in the afterwhite, embracing Yakacza's corpse. "Join now, final offering, forerun to the others heaven arrives." "What the, he's dead, baelu, they, did you, what's -" "She killed, the -" "Murderers! Murderers!" "Nah abide this, you're, the Veda, they're, you're, you, you're a murderer, a thief, worse, you're, this, it's, you're going to kill us all, and, and that machine, baelu! I can't hear myself! My eyes are going to burst! This is beyond the line, this is madness! Volya, hey! Subdue the bitch, stifle her hysterics! Leiru, shutter the machine, do whatever it takes to quiet the thing before it blows. Arms out, sailors, let's go!" "The moment to merge in our aether wish calls you to be you alone in us: will you whisper what and why to where you move? Love what you wish should be written like a [[name->mname3]]." Chillwash windslake slow tingling the charcoaled nerves like a lick from a tongue long since torn to clear me unpunctuated. Who am I. [[Doom->mdoom]] struggle as the universe spins with the room in tow, and a, a twist: "What the hell is he doing? Leiru, what the –" "The kid, I tried to tell you, Leiska, the kid's in it, he's sucking same the poison lah." "What? Are you, kyauska, can't be serious, but the, the consonant?" I nodded my head by swinging at him, and our understanding was his steel. "Eah too this mess then, bysze, should have known aye, it's all like it was before." Leiska kicked under the blades to stumble me. Instantaneously Meluoi. Leiska retreated her swipe, retreated again from another. Volya slashed through us but was carried away in the tide, swam back but struggled to our scene. Kicks and clangs and cries. The ceaseless pitch of the screaming ball. Meluoi and Leiska wavered into what seemed a new realm. Under a current I began to breathe into an absinthe that seemed already lichened by my gasp, primeval guardian I remained in their frozen constellation over the recursive combat declaring itself by blood degrees in which blow commerced philosophy howls rode the central song, they the racing semblances fading in the fastness of the night having no shelter in their shadow. To shiver until the bones stop struggling for firmness, could I not be elsewhere, could there be a wholeness gulf? Running out of a center heavier than the guess which grows its harrow he smashed into me, blades and more blades as shouts and the machine's whine insisted that some sense must end here, preyer to lips which must spread to sanction it with the lost warmth of being human... Muted endpasse flushed from colors to collapsing and the bent girders clattering to a tightening hypotenuse lent a snuffed candlelight's final whisper flicker to Leiska imposing over Meluoi stretched, both figures absolute and striking. The snap of awareness subsequent to desperate aversion: Meluoi shouting across the thunder respun an [[encyclical->mencylical]]: "Emninu, Emninu!"

Chaos intensity of suddenness immiscible to sense: Berakh in the machine raging perfect over corpse of Yakacza, corpse, Leiska and Meluoi dueling, certainty of timedness arriving. Elbow to the jaw. Volya attempted to stab my side, but I wheedled out of it. Hear Berakh inside my eyeballs. Volya rose out of our struggle, shoulders blanting in prowling hate. "At last, honesty between us. Look who you are, what you words do!" Scowl a strike closed the distance. Stop enforcing me! I wished for a resounding enough chest to beat into rhythm, but he inserted himself directly into my ready to explode, and his wrathlust suppressed the hole in our selves, sutured into our antagonisms. Seeking harbor from his gale. Pounding, the machine, and whirling, jut out a concerted anything, repeat after and endure to earn a chance for, but here the beast burned in bleak return, but I can't keep living like this, why not let this knife sleep in this bed, retreat from whatever promontory I stain, am I not what stabs my attempts to live? Why do I insist on distance? Are we not embraced in death unity in truth? "What poem do we form for you?" Six times smashing me to the floor, but I fled from his roaring wild. "You're an animal basking in whatever senses. There is no you, Leiru, you are a failed name for the emptiness, but we're all men for whom nothing is, your nothing is our nothing, we are nothing together no matter how long you wait through gloom for the emptiness to amount a meaningful you. Wheeling construed ideas from the rust to hide your wretched will, but you will die childless: we are all going to die here, and you will too, and there will be nothing of us, nothing, nothing which lives on! Everything we say and do will be eaten by the ages is our sole mercy. Nothing goes on, nothing is worth fighting for, that's why there's all this fighting. Aimless harrowings clashing a hell. You're the altar of this death, now die to it, bloat your putrid corpse upon the filth altar so your sacrifice may disappoint the [[gods->mgods]]. We are wastrels best strangled, which is why we enjoy the estranging airless. Does it frighten you, Emnin, the sound of it, the harsh incompletion, the waiting for an orienting sound which, never, quite? You are the abyss you plea to light your way, and you must own the emptiness, you must empty yourself of everything but the emptiness, only then is your fulfilling not a scouring. I hope you can't sleep for trembling, only way to know you wear your share of the excruciating choice to belong to a ruincrafting world. I used to pity you, consonant. How could you not feel sorry for the kind of unloved uninteresting mumbling emotional child that had to cling to Jaufrei, Jaufrae, Jaufr, some consonant suckling wild from another consonant sucking exile for an abstract not divorced from you, but it won't work, you can't cry your way to a better world, no outer greater will come to pacify us, nor will your massacre tantrums, bloodmancers ripping gore to your greater under a harvest moon. You robbed me of them, my friends, they're gone, they lost everything, because you! You are the problem, so why won't you die? Die, die, why won't you die! You hypocrite! You encroach on the anythings we prize to slobber on the thought that our backdrop doesn't drone on as it always does, but you are that backdrop, it's you! You're worthless, as worthless as when you clung to Jaufr as when you cling to the Veda, because one day you'll realize that nobody can make you not worthless, you are the worthless, not some idea of you, precisely your unfixable fixed position, you're the cureless contagion sickening your, our sentience. You're a monster, Emnin. You are what you sound like. You have thrown away this real world because it's not a world for you, bloated with jealousy you simply inverted the equation, because deep down all you are is hate, the bitter hate of a lonely child. More than an inability to cope: rage at the need to cope. "You will obliterate in my vengeance, even if there is no after, even if the world ends here, you will end in mine, as you are in mine, as you aren't in any. No weapon is sharp enough to erase me, no idea can remit my existence, I will not let you blur my dissonance. I am material, I am here, I breathe. I have happinesses that are not yours, that never can be yours, and I relish the gully. One day will I smile your nowhere, that's enough for me. All I need is to wake up and walk away, to leave you left in this hole in which every possible justification is sin and vice versa, this spiral where everything right is wrong, and you're just this wretch stuck with all the blood. I am not for you and will not be you; my sword is denial, your death is the door shutting on a lost chance to mean." Scouring the air for my torso's embrace, saliva intensifying, his sword rattled the [[constancy->mconstancy]] of objects from which wound poured boiling quicksilver. He boxed me on a wrong guess and in my subsequent stumble toward him Volya kicked me, and spun helices around the energy ball. Beyond, muted, Meluoi and Leiska clashing, swirling. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Like moths in dizzied circles rasping The [[moon->mmoon2]] which must have crashed in saffron...]

Through the need to slumber into this finish I pushed up to a meeting struggle, but Volya's strength prevailed. In his rejection resilient contemplation in the blur and panic of great gray guesses to an unblinking solemnity. All this fury and death and the inhibition of an answer. Tumbling as his growling like hounds pursued: "We chant in the dark for gods who are not listening. We whip ourselves for sins no register records. We carry candles to nowhere in vigils to no one. We are the empty quarter humming to itself. All ideals fall short of who thinks them, because they assume. Priesthood is horror at the void, but I am no priest, I am love's echo, I have traced relinquishing's anticurves, I whisper into its whistling oblivion pleased, I greet my unlover in the vapid, the puerile, the painful, the torturous disunity, the bristling falling short of anything, the stress and the toil, the failures, the endlessly repeated, the quiet in my nerves, the silence of a dull cold, but you, however, you, consonant, alien in every land, you have taken to filling it, and, finding nothing to fill it with, fill it with yourself. Everything in you roils with the desire to own; there must be power over you to empower you to control others. You're that simple. I have solved you. Accept it, and just, die, won't you, die!" Wires like scars slicing machine into matter remolding measure in eyescatter vertigo shunting perspective to powerdrill negatives trunching below trembling below the blazing gyre sucking and gushing and gaining in mixed lights burned out brilliant, bulgeoning crunch accelerated assent accession to heaven's heaving right here pulsebulge nearly breaking. Where me where Volya, were I else, were we now, his entire in a turpentine drip intravenous. Roseraze flush like the forced solar squint annunciating dawn. Tremulous urtotality ticking its penulitimating. Somehow slipstreams estranging us from the pull suspend us indefinite as if awaiting [[reply->mtwain]]. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[All worship wilts upon our weeping Where gods demand despaired mistmystics..."]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Entireties that tie completes we Duration bless to blissubsistance...] Death's bitterest terror is the possibility of new life. Having seen what we have seen, who should wish to see again? Intense despair of a loop daze: how much more must we do this, is there never absolute sleep, must it be the gamble to the regather, each instance circling what new mines, forever horizon for infinite strain, what else the else and else and else? Other existence as a dulling: asleep alike an alive. Nepenthe [[panacea->mtwain]]. To be individuated is to be inflicted, an awareness is a wound, we bleed to being. Misery is mortality's substance we alchemize to atman. The price of knowing is gnashing. Let me rest in the comfort of total cessation... why, why do we fight so hard to survive? Why do we not take life at its word? What is it we are waiting for? For what do we persist when existence insists this worst? His sword punctured through the edge of my shirt; for a second: caught. "There's no way it still works ehh," Imeni, half out of breath. "Gotta trust me hey," I pulled her along. "Jaufr got it up the work last, plays exactly like it used to." "There's no way. Jaufr's barely touched machines." "He cares; sometimes that's enough." I paused at the door. "Besides," I winked, "my dad was a mechanic. I gave him some tips." I opened the door to a music bloom in peach whispers of a rumored sunset. Jaufr and Mariena waltzed like how you imagine waltzing began. Kaiya and Tasyumi against the wall were tapestries of opposing colors. Yakacza looked up from his cup and smiled. I saw, heard, Imeni's gasp. "It's, you," looking at them, the music box, me. "You've fixed it. I, I can't believe it. I never thought I would hear it again. I... that's incredible..." "We're taking it to the Plaza later, and we'll play it for everyone, music all over! It'll be exactly like it used to be, just like being kids again! We'll give people something to not have to wish for, give a little of their lost." She started to tear up. "It sounds, exactly like, what my mother..." I smiled and embraced her from the side. "Not every voice of this silence dies."

Between banks cruels canal we momenta synaptic crystalline sirens dusks interpretations interpolate faithcreate cathedrals through hatelands. Whatever we dream shimmers truer than all the lies we live, falser than all the lives we lie, we must be buried beneath what we are not in our not there there. Guilty of the gaps, luminous of the lacks, sepulchral elapses lips is systeclipse calypsolipsist allayered in somnia, beloved of the goddess of your absencing, imprisoned of the isle of your palabras palace plushly lustrous of sentence candelabras, darklight dreamy, starkstrain fearing, pendulum logos condemn dimming to starlight matriarch infinitely distant, imminently exilesinstent, sistery mists slip these eyelids to blizzardly seek the recidivist atavistic vista vatics erraticizing the ratified cistern drowned, beneath the ground drowned, inundated of timedness, erasure discomposures decomposing to plaths, vector scattered intactness, funereally form begging the melting, searching the floe, wishing paths through the boreal bore reals, drills armadas veiling our waves, no more the surface, only its embattle, reversion to beneath depths ascensions, revertical revertices to me, my cascades surrender vanguishing the modal neverish gloom haloing the mutating bloodspat pursuance synthesis of neither the viewer nor the gaze nor the viewed nor any which construes me in these cages, the non which is one, the I am this as they are, radius pulse communion, I us radiation solar verses, sky and eye blazing mere inches apart, redhot totality screaming through ethers, bodily surrender to a reckoning past the event horizon, time slows, your thoughts slow, so much time expands cosmic the dwindling hours, minutes, everything shrugged in the soon seconds as whole lifetimes melt to the hinge, fall into yourself, be your limitation beyond, the subjected to subjectivity objectifier, artwork slaughtered. Salvation mistakes us more than salivalences. Neither penance nor recompense but end this countenanced. Consumptive assumptives of the endless dais reign in original, we rain generate gravity's discourse, the cause of course, the assent of source, ascent to force of all which is not yet to be what must somehow see set as not stone grave to which we all sparklesplash snowflake beauties succumb, collision is the I in its I've. Resorption restore myself to my annihilation, remove my mask for my sacrifice, your own self need not be saved to rescue your need to mean, because meaning is your surrender to an all which posits you, rather give up the ghost to undo your haunting, return into the echo, return into the echo, believe in the better beauty ruins amass of our untolds finalized. Teach ashen the rubble wisdom. Undo your undermining by residing in your moment: let it come, let it mean, let it pass. Catalexis consciousness culminates in the unmaking, unmake me, but do so as me in my dignity, I have that at least, treasured where we all store it, undeclensed cleansed I culminate to my core chaos in the absolute formed only by the partials every other has blessed me with, I will fulfill my echo, die conformative but unexperient of serene afterstorm's swollen silence. I must be, so let me be, let me be me, I will be let like the blood being spills us through, esprithesia oscillation soundwaves the toll of time as past for those who wish to be past. Let it pass. Become this passing. Pass into it. Into you as a passing. Fading in the raging light of the sublimating [[sublime->mnarrative]] burst. I want to live, but I am not there, cannot morally scrape my way there, must mortally own the scars my claws scabbed in desperate nights, so let me never go, let me die, but not here, never here, let me die an atmosphere. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[In vicious intubation vise our Drear smothering evinces strain of Our veins evolted seething searing To thrust us realized religious Commitment prised to talliate to Align godforce with feel to wield self...]

Lovers abandoned inside a single incarnation, anhedonia individuations. Petals crushed yourself. Complex interdependences in a conflux of mutual blood, into the nets are we tangled and what is said is felt as read. We are the have become. Out from you snakes emissary honesty reigns complete in your waking working, contorts your face in rain and clear, in life, in death. I am my falseness truthfully. No more mortal demaking the confession, laughing at the bizarre joke all authenticity tells: we're failures who figure out why. We destroy ourselves not to undo our fatal flaws but to render them overt to rend their subversive cores and bleed a speakable nightmare to wrestlewander through the haunting nocturne towards dawndomains barred from our lifetimes. Creative horror of the lost poet wasted by their guilt's luster, the dying will beyond its willing. Postform people in a paradise of the hell of selfexpression's incense. Opportunity for some next now no this presumes. Jade chain sundered, dual implications slicing me in twain, then the rebound, the recursion to a soul which is here; what is more remains [[unrelinquished->mnarrative]] to restore, all to restore, my balance first, and in the upward kick he cried out. We believed in a world inextricable from a temple of tears sunfrozen. To be is to grapple the invisible to find features more fitting than animal birth, and my whole life I tried to find in this misery a mounting, whether it was there or not, some source must be there because I was there receiving. Don't you see? I am nameless spheres you cannot circumscribe. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[A lightning bolt refrains a cyan The dynamo in bellows echoes, Increasing rush, reshouting fury, Of duos forming fate's awaiting, A churning wheeling of progress Intense as ends encamp beginnings...]

Silhouettes darting across protruding fractures like spiders scurrying indeterminately with a tenuous connection to the mass on which rove they orbited the pulsing star stabilized by its speed into a raw carnage riding upon the fraying earth's fractal axis, the destroyer manifesting diverted will, and basking in the radiance I fell from step and trundling Volya smashed me on the altar. "You have drawn over what will display," cry into the tempest, "and I will erase you!" Nothing more hushing than baring your soul to unrecognition. Banging on the bars, absolute denial human to human for blessed transposition, the separation between oneself and the besought other reframed as fury, we converged to clash from counterpoints kin. Grace flitted before this bladecrown bleeding oblivion with glitter ideas: thrust before the altar sacrifice unto basilisk destiny sung an angelic also. World lavender in the endless shifting washing, relinquish into it your aspirations and accept the shortfall binding rendering all of us instances of the splintering crystal cry, shard reflectives of the torrential eternal, time as a place to be and fail your belonging to. Charcoal lazed on my tongue is why my speech is ash. Can there be a purity to which we all die shared? I claim nothing, ask less. Simply want to live in this light with you; not yet draws me up titanic against the lurid balkers wishing they were not the me they hate inversed. Any form of the equation is wrong; only the equanimity is right. Return my retrained gaze, this mess is me, and I, all I want is not this maze, this maze as it is, unnavigatible. Let it be permissible to not make sense when we have lost our sense of ourselves in the structures we consist and create. Our sense shall be understood when our senses are the truth they are unable to be, Vyneme actual, Emnina to be. Lapis lazuli prisms in the bare morning peachblow insist torrents to which our raze emotions redyed the fragment familiars equal to the thrill of a pulse still pounding reflection desecrations of inflection templeds. Memory consecrated to this touch a touch too living the love and not its lie which whispers, remembrance we together condense, no more I blend in facing a future we form as one rose ghost, cheer char, chance for the serenity star, glass continuity of the glush suspension, the mote of emotion in the aetheric wash, portal to the past choice chandeliers which anoint the way to a wandering humanity, to a summoning convocation superlativizing the gods as us in love, in wish, in want, in bodies tarnished and ours. I am alive, and I have loves, and I am sorry, and I will fight for all three to return an echo. Kiss: eruption of the gap by which we exist in [[twain->mtwain]]. Moons bulged with unsustainable suppression the expression of any god that would speak as this calamity; from undercurrents at last a reply to the perfect visibles collected into a single unassailable beam: the eye fixed long enough on this eminence would perceive the brilliance best this black. Final kin of original death, was this not oneself? Harmony dialects discordancy's clarion. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Reply to permanence our cycles In each event conditioning the Completion seal purge symbol we Elope eveil envelopely Enveloping immaker singing Immaculate totality nil...]

I dropped my blade and so much more with it. Volya hesitated as our paradigm shattered, his certainty not yet wrested from what would be forever incalculable. I couldn't help it, began to shake with it, near giggling this, his so perfectly in words: you have drawn over what will display, and I will erase you. Again, again, again, endlessly cycled: one [[narrative->mnarrative]] dominant because it actively conceives of itself as such. We differed from the art already there and so fixed the failures of the original creator, and the scream, the pain, the building and its dying, the need to over and not elsewhere, the need for me and not you, the focus, the self, the loneliness and its wilting, perfect other, nongap this. Two butterflies diverge from the flower then meet upon the breeze. Volya as a hurricane I uninterelected in my sunken beneath its pull emerged I his unreachable sweeping us shiver nears, he gasped and convulsed, frothing his pain's anticipation of the oblivion he served, but the sphere sucked me in electric percusses to orbit what lay to remain undone. Volya lifted his hand to follow my resistappear but gone I where found he an emptiness never expected and loved less. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[What whispering outsounds distortions Announces time without its numbing...]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Completion purifier forcefell Irradiates the angulation...] Thermobaric blastwave warped Berakh beyond touch or thought or being. Absolution completion his breaching entheme. Entheogen distortion crunchpresses obliterated normality nodes of orient networks, coordinative klesa blasms lunged the nerves to bullet break the burden structures, limply sputtling velleity innates, regretsmith devolvers shuntlocked to fire conspired the sensory to assault involvescope, [[dissymmetry->mdissymmetry]] waves funnelvisive. Vaporized persistables anguish gnashed the nullside, vaporized Yakacza ghoul linger screeches as if inside my marrow. Flurrying up to where he rejected my ability to move, outwaves stronger than inmaze force, centermaker irreversible. Violet frangibles focalize intrusives to positutional reciprocalizes concerted to commits rendering vaciliates to traverse the radians skating. Judging the chantblasts their cadence to correspond pushes to catch the crest and glide, wisdoms opulently impenetrably truesourced in spellcasts summoning ghosts of yesterneeds to wail reply chorus the predicamentive [[permanential->mpermanential]] power. Fray submersed I flailed to reach into forgeative but genitive decay strains replicative efforts: no swim stays the surge, no will the wake. Cascades thrashing me to impossibility where slip beyond horizonable Leiska, Volya. Nonity agency nullities the verseless, but she perfect incorporates liturgies' gravity, above me floating Meluoi starlike in whorl. Straining up to believe as she. Ebony jewel in nightwash she negadawns conclave counterwaves, between the machine the Veda pulsewar, nauseous tossed between the tides unable to assimilate supercharged sinuates, data of the derive clash. Binary orbited they the frozen generator redolence refulgent with [[seraphic->mseraphic]] traumatic incursion of creation. Oneiric emersion of eccentricize demoniad spawn revolve razes ruined liminance exponence ebulliation of cosmic basins their componential basing sinlaced blazar palpation stimulacra. Verses outreign our framed to respond, finality sever renewal to vocalies, phantasmic psionism to dwell a vox ellipse. Evocative hyperprepound pounded the bounding straynt vibrato crescendo to broken string, causality snap.

Chaos bled to Leiska and Volya shouting but all flaired in my focus chanting Meluoi like the world would hear her, build harmony out of heartbreak. Laden tone with all which will not repair, could sing it with her, half as beautiful, if I could just indistinguish, but she extinguished the difference in a [[gentle->mgentle]] emanation fierce to battle, each wept wreathing the wrestling to warrior, and so much do I weep in our share… Dahlia in deluge floatspins butterflied her voice sableshine calligraphies dye all wreathing confessive pathos painterly flush of bloodrush expressive, adulative atelier stimulized of agonizeds cursive, blessure sign. Desperation vibrancy riddled her forceful in steel flashed upon [[psynthesis->mpsynthesis]] a stencil shockserpenting spirit irreal power. Overwhelmed overwrit to incluse precious, precious, shared, she shared with me all our origins shattering to bless the borne to bear. Surrendering entirety to causality fray as her verse envisions us nonconstrained slain, spiritsume... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Affective focus frays to spheresault Illuminous magnificence she...]

Jaufr revenant upon ruinvaunt repeers desent pendulous impend my perimeted outlay spun to search where claims and clashes once led swickerflitching with leading forth thickens pluming concretize to concentrate where loss in Leiska looms, who weaves through, rushthrough mazed the warp to orbit around [[regravitational->mnarrative]] Berakh distorting shape to rebend, intendable... Exhale. Blue vapors prowling the temple nave kissing your skin as they pass, knowing you are abandoned in whatever you create, devotion to the soon new martyr. Emblems icing the light from the in the dark opening to a heaven's hopeforms. Maybe dying in the sterile deed a thousand nights is worth it when one day you awake to the light not just there but you. If even one tear for a second is a prism in which whole distortion beauties reflect the other side with a wholeness which reassumes its unraveled grandeur in the second after the tear's passing when reality reassumes solidity and still you cannot catch your breath, then the titan wait was worth the will I am wasted in it. Refusing to lose in the cycle the reason why you cycle. I will not relent from exhaustion; I will fight from exhaustion. Somewhere in the cyclone is the T ruth convene for which we stream separation arcs. Losing footing, floating. Beat out of this prison, love, let loose upon the slanted worldstage spotlight warmth which will whisper a self so loud and powerful the bleak shallowness shall not blaspheme but bless it, ripple with its exalted creation in waves sloshing sweetly theme. From suffering the sufficient, from the lost the light. If you will not let me die in this second, then I will live it in every moment which sinks below its surface. Inhale. Space for the self strugglelies in the briefly infinite.

Earthquake tremors ruptured porous sanity geysers throwing ancient blazegas to a roiling sea crackling and rising in megaton motion, building the behemoth with boundless, rendering the impossible inexpressible, elemental espers battering the geologic axes into a formless fathomless, the deep threads manipulating the shallows above into a cataclysmic leviathan rising, the termination of every beginning into a single formation, a monolith jutting out of fractured stories. Ourobousal simplicity of the complexity's recursion. Reflective purity ennobles the crooked caster to be more than caught in the loop. Catch yourself, if you mean. Beyond the chaos of living was the simple fact from which it careened implicating the wholeness of a separated unit in a larger moral dynamo of which we are figments in manifold, agents of a bruised humanity ruse undissection tesseraction whose victoriously reflective grace would shimmer the chance to outlive the sins of the source in a flood which will fulfill us all, travel through the experience of the question into something both authentic and unsaid. Meluoi and Leiska shouted, but a single wound throbbed me expulse pulse, now would I craft questions from the dust with whom should I share empyreans, family of the wide unsettled forged in an equanimity necessitating mutual humanity. What being held I as guilt would earn its penance above the fundament. From me would there be the loaded passion, whatever psalms await. I asked for nothing but the hope for anything [[incongruent->mnarrative]] with the everything of which I never had been. Give me no end, no sign of supremacy, no sign of surrender, no implicit, no sign. Prosume me named divorced from the damning rain, insignia hands collapse inwards my temples to bleed Vyneme of beneath the face, Emnina of the dusklight. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Emancipation wish whose mouthed has Assented doctrines wrought from world Belonging, priesthoods altarless whose Effusive sacrament surrounds the Seraphic rainflame everdawn, I Arose unposed, unanswerable...]

Cannot capture fever reveries of the sent in this isolated mindspace drew out the daylight realities dimly glimmering in the shifting columns as violence impossible to feel this aquatic raycrushed chthonic rite of the solemn passing still in the process of forgetting the present chills nothing remains rejoinder, whatever yet prince demon finally found in barrier surfaces relenting to my heat crash cascade, immolation of the familiar finally divined from their silhouettes... Retroactively, everything about you makes sense. You are whole only in the past. In the present fragmenting, you catch hints, whispers, but you never see through the fugue, never break into the boundless presence. Oh you for whom we are past, forgive us, for we know not who we do. Rip asunder my soul to snow a new blanket for those for whom I was a once, a counting now ending slides once more through the grooves shouts this weakened unbeingraveling before me begging my image's report, once more our suffering beyond which breaks the dissonant drone whisper roars with a happiness in whole communion with the world, searing songburst in whose fever no unmelted humankind stands to stay, hellifluous baying wildspagan in the chill moonlighted. Secret cells as the ice melts groaning forth fractals of a forgotten faithless of the preordained incursion, name hundreds emanating from haunted caverns calling my name: what machinery made this thus, what magic united us and me? Am I doomed to beg the firmament for a life proper to it, to be without a divorcing alienness sheath, the problem posed to selfsolve? When crested I the erg to spake the desert harsh ushers prophecy or personhood discontinuous presents? Do I have the right and the power to be less than a name and more than me? Question eternal generatives infinite looming over the impossible and always answering moment [[respond->mnarrative]] into the dynamo a thesis wrongly enough real for this blood not to freeze so that under this endless mantle skin can be chosen everything for the question, answer billions wink in the ebony, no light sullies fertile and eternal space, what kind of living would be worth not dying, would I choose it? Rainglush chromas splice space sensible atop the seam's erase. The power to be beyond the placing into being bursts the power of being that places our beyond. Between the mountain and me is the mounting. Between the sleep and this waking is the slow dievision. Where there is not an entirety do we sense the loss. Where is the lack that limits a thing from a things? No separation outside of the selving. No sense outside of the sensing. Nebulous not in betweens grading a curve on which to rest the gauge. Guttercleanse crush of the appraised. Resistant rush of amassing so much clunked in an entire clogged sun dripping swollen orange. We are pulled because we pull and pull and pull. The pressure performs as we dance oblivion. True into you, echo.

Ebony nocturne glissando faeries the impasse to modality drill. Coagulating [[thickening->mthickening]] pattern what all this bleeding writes. Density completion to impenetrably [[allconsume->mallconsume]]. Permanence of transience sinned this mortality storied to memory's lathe. Condition to human harrows our fleeting breathing seething into being, fragile, magical. Flagellum endur, penance to cleromancy pen. [[Dying->mdying]] will to was, rainbow soul.

Let go, become this, no more of this numbness. What was hovers, shimmers, fades, vapor trails draining along invisible contours pitter sighs in the plush gloaming. Rapture semipresent drips its ice on the fire, the enlargening ball, curse sized to maximum thrashing, and in the center I [[hum->mtexts]], or the it hums me having picked my tune from the butterfly roots, whorls paring the stop with the start from which it fled, with a running not needed, an escape achieved in the safety of the still face which beguiles my arrayed along the winding way the facticity all is thickets save a beryl chalice refocusing the self's sheerness, and through the thickets I trudged to grasp it, but as my hand caressed this silk sunshine my animation broke me against thickets arrays, legs gored by thicket swamps, arms pierced by thicket spears, stigmata of thickets crowns, impaled awareness in thickets endless grown from thicket metaphysics shivers to know if neither the chalice nor me means much against these gnarling thickets, if nothing from us defies this thicket entirety, but yet let this blood not be shed if I can at least without the salvation realization that there is me amongst the thickets verace this vivid crushed trill trance not aschance aberrance wretched in the unmistakable misbelong but as one of at least two, dual moons to orbit in the poetic space hush in blessed satellite sisterhood. The thickets jab, a thicket pierces the iris, from thickets had we come and to the thickets must we go, but I am else and so too is this someone else... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Effluxion unitary spirit Explosive posits twineless fullness Exempt from scorching christening by Negations fended, each oasis Dismissing sole encapsulation, The somber crime perpetuated By sophos dynasties resurgent At every dawn, divergent flourish...]

Concussive waves asserting separation swung me on another thought's lift to believe briefly the brutal dreamless of another world. Dying the wool with which we wrap ourselves recessed from the hideous real of exhausted poetics, a prior divine failure to breathe pure in a brighter starness. Shimmering and simmering the ball electric exacted my veins' force in fiery affirmatives spewing the collective individuating emotion, no longer the earth, no longer the filial ocean, but a bloodstained subspoken, daydream orange orbed sky, deluge swarms on the marigold petals strewn on other graves we cleave with erratics ballistics beauty stressing to fracture obeisance magnetism of this allbending ball, Berakh doused in oils rippling in defiance splashing the ultimate endless by which things are, but I did not melt into the whitehot flaring, submerged not in the preprimordial brilliance, in a gray lag on the rosy wholeness the ball and I burst away. Oblique sepulchers hieroglyphhijabed smote to broadness by cataphractic joys reyawned, their gangrenous mouths in jealous completions robbed in rhythm with our rediverging, his tonality fractured to song, to outraged gutturals hellish on the midnight bloom, to a quenchless chorus smashing rasps on a blunt segue as the continuum sunders. Abrasive, abrasive, annulling wave, Berakh tore from the sought to confront the scarred present, to seal the demon final pause, bloodwine in a platinum chalice pressed upon his rifting lips, and his eighty arms and half a hundred haloed heads like [[texts->mtexts]] expressing the rest, the all and fall silent... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Gargantua formed of truths swelling With fangs like polished pearls baring In veinsoaked hues the echoes flown from A rupture written black on brandished Unblinking scars, the splice dividing The physical destructivity From operative spirituals In caustic maniform expressing...]

Rearing the beast scoffed its encapsulation upon the world but against it braced what will be left of what exeunt through this as an I matriarchulates pursuance of the machine's power purring around me thunderous diversion, pure myself owning everything I utter, colossusing to undaunted in complete selfpossession acquired by one who both needs and wishes the self away. Ritual absolution resonated gently in ultimate diffusion to mold the multitudes to a harmony, sojourners long lost arriving at imbued belonging after tribulations decades through countless intervening otherhells as scattered and diverse as the constant throb that pushed us through the phosphorous glows of nights dreamless to this repetition purpose, but I ineffable and gleaming rose in a roar against the yearning for a fall motionless painted in volcanic fragments splintering over deadsun badlands torment plagues so that the land excruciates the always upon it in which we flung out and rose genuine amongst the spuming mists to shatter the starless rims to seance with precious beneaths sans the veils which we had cast upon them to disguise what would not in all our dizzy tracing draw forth this fomented undone anointed, amended assumptive, collapsing chaos erupting sound beyond its limit to muted incense crushing our ears and our eyes inwards to the internal dissonant drone, is this the death we have sought as birth, in this lightless let us haunt abyssal voices, preserve the precious wherever and whoever in the midst of the always draining purpose... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[In slaloms [[sentence->mtexts]] spirits skew to Project a single stroke conveyance In creams across the porcelain, a Renewal dripping dews to spaces Decay deliberated reborn to A new nonconcept, vistas verdant With unmined meaning, ray vanillas Against a soul's recursive selfscape...]

Unto new dimensional orthogonals bent Berakh and I in a serrated fuzz clashed, cymbals ringling our symbols lashed of alienated nullities, threshed against his ultimatum I struck my cherishing, there he unblurred unassailable in light no longer, monstrous and majestic god ruthlessly indomitable who through sunset lace firehail shrieked an ancienting tongue, supernova philosophy transcendence beautified from which death emanated, from whom rebirth radiated, an infinite convocation plague sheathing the cosmos in this purpose, and though within me all roiled for sake, for a mind still caught in murmurs storms, yet still did the surge sent of equaling I at long last countercharge the immaculately sublime crash and haul of ages through which we live hopeless and wishful, and I saw in the whitehot wrath supreme erasure, cleansing tide inevitable, purifying completion soulfully angelic, and I quivered with selfcentric horror for the first of the untimed moments, for the burning hours never ashed, in this eclipsing glaze glare shuddered I infinitesimulated sinfully bashfully grotesques, but in the second and the rest ensuing burst I into a fury love for a nonexclusive now unknown to any parhelion yes, and I refused this face to be destroyed, refused the legend and the structure, rejected the revision a disenvision pure, exanima ablaze alive a manifest no, emergent merging what I had been to be, unwritten poetry... (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Where fogs have filmed unsunken lands as These midnight seas the sun to swallow There drums the yearning masques renewing As storms debate sky indifference With elemental passion empty Of preconception shapeshifting, in Unfinishing creation clothed I Behold beyond discrimination Delineating power gems in Their tetrad truths a genesis, and In thrusts I turn these furnaces to New forges, gloaming blooms whose shadows Across my spirit leylines lowing In solar glamour issuing as Amours immaculate a blitz to My first and final purpose fashions My constellation hands outstretched for Embracing welcoming worlds that In stardust swirls burst with each of My blows against the beast rebounding A lupine shriek its kingship shredding, And pain, the void as [[seal->mtheend]] ink, in Scintillas lays amidst the ash and An origin in which to find a Complexity to house a heartbeat.]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[''THE END''] --- You have finished the eluma. Click [[here->mtitle]]. In denied your deserved, relinquish not the reverity.

//Manifest No// is intended for mature audiences. It contains pervasive emotional and physical violence, including murder, suicide, dysphoria, misogyny, ableism, sexuality, guilt, abuse, poverty, alcoholism, and other uncomfortable issues. Readers may find many sequences distressing, depressing, or disturbing. This book is difficult, dense, bizarre, confusing, austere, hostile, and not fun. The experience is somewhat similar to a migraine. Click [[here->mtitle]] to return to the title.

Exude lucent exotexort vulsh glaive gripped in one six armament magnified stars shockbending presence to mayblends cuesling hinterhigher order orbital strikes stake in magnitude zoom zeroed on globular seins structure ontologicating planes composite spilling cyan as a serac upon icefall fracture jaggeds moltentative flowstack of shapedrift mercurives versatiling the same, our differences in slain. Chanter of chiaroscuro prophesies in basalt visage inlaid with serendibite stars cold ruthless allusively divulgent fulgent vulpine slinking in arctic gazeblinds. Inhumament forcesends networking frizzly the forte electrickling across posegaps massively multiplied over all incremental dweller loci faulted within departmentalized dasein simulatives cleaved from eidetic nondescripts alternative avernal to jurate wreath to fete championing causaliry, consecrative liturgeous culminate of capitus buried in virescent offshoots sheolseeded in sentielle ephearsions yclad, terrified to feature in [[fierceleste->mfierceleste]] godbracken sickened uvulana weepair, and with so much charged, charred, braised unto sizzle dissipate mereness, seerness shearshape gauge in severeness veneer of venser seraph, Berakh immaculate grieving machine operative to swallow the starkstar aspectual over centuries coda ode hollow hold pulminous convicted invictus afflictioning totality glissando its sublimated affectionulls. Decay paragon halogens his imperative over brushed briars, pathogen perfect instant killing the host holiene, sacrifice sublime serene. Others perceive of us conceptualities curtailed by the impossible to witness sane, invisible sein, orderation adulative horror abominabright atomic bomb, beauty to music our screams drown under woodwind into. Hyperperfect of kill yourself to fail resemble haunts your demonhaunted sleepless. Wake unto annunciation annihilated by the wordian blot. Smote angels the cremates. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Annunciation agony an Avengeful angel arbitrates in Our terror beauty burnwheel willing Injurious determines guilting To guide our bending worship wounding To ecstasy a guardian will...]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[We draw upon the pantheism A patterning of mattercompress....] Noncorrespondance germs liberation. Grids conduiting to sign break new sparkshoots. Cartesian cancel loci to infinite deflect to zeenith seethe. Shunt loosens circuit cleave hilbertian projectative continuous inmanence slipstreams, yet sustain, speed past the fasten to slip the elliptic, tangenitive to hyperbolic of crash innates, dissemination volta voltage explosive. Meshed accordances reintegrate the swerve evolute, solute inside its revolute momenta. Seleph Berakh sheerness deepened its drone drill to perforate... To then which annihilation? Which loves wreaked thence damagemancy constructor? All haveness held wheeled dreamed deserves concourse to responce responsibility. Each duty borne to person geometrizes my narrowing to needle aperture, moralheld in its constrict, refusal to any action not emphatic of pursuance parameters' prision. Agency commutative demands issue issuance encircle until each motion militates an act, breakthrough determinism, which shall you choose shatter? Resist musts dereconcile submission to blastwave supremacy threatening into capacity this electivity connect, harbinger of cyclicals against twists, bearer of too latent laden to fray, fray must warrior, wearer of each weakness to consistency, thence graved, and that is, isn't it, where you lead to read? This Submergence where we have been sentenced by which judgment, excathedral quintessential surgist upon bode to incisive cure contaminates backpropagates, plague doctor resist, incist deformative pressure to systemify bend embeddeds axionize axioms incipient in principis. Chardonnay searplashes singed the purgeblank purify emanation quell groovecutter Berakh upon the machine blazing to enact, could so easily welter weltanschaaung shapeshift to pervade persist... Meluoi methodized, hold onto how she sings in your sel. the react inbuilt in my follower, enfold conduit prowess stinging form hell, to organicize the protesting faith fuel for, untold component flowers springing from spell, the reaction gyregerm manifestier, be bold consonative powers stringing storms to stele, outward to beyond self qua other to otherize the eschematon. Beautiful immaculate her encourage to myth, any wield of this welded would mix to pith, cull countenance evaded verisimilitude fastenism to priestess, yes preach kiss, this [[fierceleste->mfierceleste]]. Upon its pulsar elusion bolteds amethyst and moonstone psism esprit pierce, compressitive attesters attuned to spearwrit thrusted searwit inky upon voluntary, each note chosen in modal scaling until from the pitch bubbles up golem imbued aleph alpha initial of a tetragrammatic semeion simulachronos, unitifier symmetricaline.

Flashballed over my riddlewreathed with flame twisting beneath terrorstar zenith as nova pulses its combinatory beam. All we have worked for sucked into a mode. Memories overrode banks, flood through quaking nerve systems incapable of claiming signs, siftless overmined polysemous descries curled in ululations harsh shriveling in glare, consumptive vicious outdeserver of focus ridding concept from retain until merely the branded remains, quivering agonized with approbative consolids rheumal through flues ramrod racing from voiceboxedin, gravity vox, whenceness mattermost. Entombed perils sculpted inevitable of the stone, as if mountains prophesied the violence writ upon them. Nonerasure sealing sung deeper than perceive Seleph Berakh angelic unstreamable [[themeseaming->mfierceleste]] semblance permanence, buried, buried, burgeoning in me so much unsuppress: "How can I stop burning if the yearning dies? Crushing my exist eradicates the formative, holenull." Nyneme. "You cannot claim me here, I fail to mirror." Myneme. "I cannot keep buried what lives without me." "You cannot respond to where I am not given, any rejoinder to dissolve remains undefined." "Force of the weight cannot be dissipated through diffractive patternseeding to germinate comeoutcome. Too much jagged to disjunct integrate." "Denial fury builds into frictive inability to model this alienation’s contours, I rage the shush to destim." "You cannot cosm suppress what I have submerged beautified in universal." "My will rises to outshine the shelter delimit to hollow its occluded contained." Through the fog fighting for a vituperative assert to melody, vicious insertion deny, exert exort to exorcist pressify to trellis vine tangent lines to verse in which lifereal the deathreel heals, Emnina in wielding Vyneme of the soul to come. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Enforcing fade edict entire Enumeron defied to faultsign…]

Heaven vault wheeling veritas scars constellative of shard empyreans roared bang to pierce Berakh hyperluminous behemoth brawling us to bendsign collide in superhuman magnitudes his destrand desingulative sinstrand vaporizing conditions to compromisal purge to purity urging formal effuse assume inversion formaldehyde godmergence preserver severing all to assumptivexist contagion rampant across emergent creation axes axiomed upon her [[verse->mnarrative]] encompass vectors to scrypture purpose permanence puncture to injectiture design where all we carry within this burden being resigns person, the first and savior, severator non. Consciousness ripped apart to helix about his propagation ion diamond. (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[To binding love we fracture formal Performative of axis praxis Exists precis precision will Enwilded avernal wyrdule A wyvernal evective blazar Celestialized despiritcised rune…]

Lithebent over a bench back Jaufr dismissed the obsidian hush lieu of dusk lilac vibrant with a grandiose flickerstrum that deepened my disconnect with the mood until heavied glum I sighed too stark to hide; his glance opaque obviated still incipient his sermon, and with a weariness like mercy he jumpcut to a new clause jittery, pointing at a highrise close by so vigorously my skin crawled; apologetic bodyblink headbow as his enthusiasm for some reason made my skin crawl? So often intoxicated upon the same… "Caught the hear of it windwise down at Benni’s or so, a cache uncovered, old scrapers’ horde abandoned so to Mylecz’s discover I believe, but there were bits yeah to nick but also some hulker as has just been there left lah, unguess how could they have hauled it up there originally, or maybe was always origin thence, you never know with some of these plasterhides what’s been abandoned of origins and what has latterly mimicked in its finally too ashore to cycle in." "Not another fixup," I frowned. "No no, I agree hey, this one’s gone beyond repair, but precisely so is why I wanted to see as what beyond repair looks like, see if there’s, you know, if it, how to recognize…" Nodded to bumble into the bobbing of bounding up flights round so and so around, cadence cajole to pretend ascents, distance ameliorates from hazehell. Nervously bolted doors lay littered on litterfall floors, rooms to disuse, rooms reamed with refuse until they you. Vaguely seeming to search Jaufr hesitated a known path numbing paced. Amylase swished wet cardboardly in headache assimilates. Tips of fingers hummed [[whiteshocks->mwhiteshocks]]. "This is, nor not yeah, up another, this way ah Emnin, nearly there…" Folded up to quick a pant suck, balustrade restrained, awkwardly wondering how have I lost the fitness this rough, used to run up these no issue, up to it then, bolted a further flight to find Jaufr on the landing struck to statue for five [[dreamseconds->mdreamseconds]] before tilted into strode into where animatedly he traced the dizziness we could share here. "He was up to this room right, never inquire me why, or I suppose we ourselves have the same on our own wanders aye, and he bent down to the peeled plaster thiswise, right through ah, catch this crawlspace, right through yeah? And come up slowly, you’ll see it, this, this, well I can’t to name it what’s lost such for centuries, doesn’t need anymore lor. Isn’t it beautiful though, such a machine, relic of an age of process, reliable inputs actuating outcomes lived? That’s how I know no fixup for it, the soul’s lost. Staring at it…" "Jaufr." His eyes darkstarry. Remnants of the machine shattered the frangible frame an archipelago of lost contacts. He winced deepline tear.

"If I could just fix it though, it would prove, wouldn’t it permanently, all of the doubters couldn’t argue but in malice, the ability to reordain order, justify ourselves to a new coordination? Why must we accept foundational this petty scrimpening of selfish mice, each in their own hole loathing, isn’t there some deeper call to unity, can’t we together try? This machine could do it, if we could just understand it, maybe it’s not even broken, just, just, misunderstood? Is that possible, Emnin? How can anyone know without, but I will, I’ll force it to sense o, I just have to believe in it more than myself to surrender to its realities, immerse in its visive. "I’ve, been studying the machine, you know. Considered its gears, their interlocks, the way it would move. Why, who needs to know why, machine not to its own why ah, just a kind of projection we make over its alterations, that’s the true of it, alterating, a completely reorchestrated plasmatism, how these shifts echo throughout our hollow, that is how it trues. To, like, if we were to fixup, that’s all’s to need, not blueprints or graphs or what Kobyu else, just secret of how to make its move real. Been studying to gauge how for a dozen shivers to rise, and I, if you’ll look to so right, this knob, which turn, and it doesn’t react okay but if you keep turning and keep turning, if you just insist into it your [[motionality->mencroaching]], won’t it eventually believe as you do, won’t you be unable to differentiate yours and its singing? Skeptics hey that’s their problem, they got shortspans, see only in action and reaction, but we’ve always framed our interventions as an existence towards future, and that’s how you future fixup, you just keep, keep turning, that’s all, Emnin, simple as, you just turn and turn and turn!" Called out his name, reached towards his sobbing to embrace, but thunder tore the connect, spooled on the warped singed calling. Deblurred a caustitch to spiderweb enjamb Jaufr with joinery allshrieking. Stumbled onto a giveway and plummeted to stories so far below. In the rubble a [[body->mwordlessly]].

Flutterly half overlayly in wilderness tangles of function enaction filterations outlines to spillswirl semisemblances his pervade, Jaufr in every imbibed beingness constellationed over wistful mornings and languid days, within each first chill to twilight, across nights hopeless, heartbound, a touch beloved in and as nausea, the sense he was not speaking to me, merely me as gutter collecting his avoiding intimacy winces. If only to embrace him, curl between these wires, thrum the machine alive ourselves, persist in that alteration, but agency cannot griphold the tactile to jolt it responsive, yearnwilt to weary passivity, listlessly watching Jaufr flinch below its cold impassivity. "Can you imagine it, you’d scraped back the flaking plaster, tunneled through to this suddenness witness, [[alone->mencroaching]]? Would you feel deeply less alone, deeply more alone, or would you just touch this machine as a dream, palms that don’t reply? So often I’ve struggled to breakthrough to tangible, exist in equal fidelity to this disjunction. Nominally persist yeah, but in these years without? Rusted equalized with postsavage [[silence->mwordlessly]]. "Been believing in a machine like me since I’ve spared not my sleep the sweat, startling up frigid from leaked heat wreathed in phantoms reaving borderchanges between consign and slipping conjure, had I known I’d locate it here, I’d avoid this secret to keep fantasy, not stare into its austere mysterion. Do you recognize the resemblance, Emnin, or alienate me this too? I’ll accept either, can I just be honest with you, forgo the fight? You can judge me as always you have, fine, I submit, is this what you wanted? Jaufr of the thousand bouts bends before your normative cull, not a prophet deeper than your dormancy shrine. Why don’t you exact your superiority, slit my throat? You’ve judged me worth dying since Nejani, you’ve been biding his role since. Don’t act like I don’t know, haven’t been tortured more than my due, however pessimist you’ll exact. Crushed so aye, and I’ll admit it defeat to your horripilation glare. Sacrificed my unworthy before your godly inactive, unlearn me too, let me bruised husk fade as this broken without breaking! "If this machine cannot be reborn, perhaps neither I nor my worldation, and I acquiesce the terminus, dance into its sparks accelero. Speak, you dreamfacade, inclusive of this latter day cry!" Beat the machine to jolttwist tamplify in a blown out fuzz fizzling through crackling leaden to lively lurchstream afters. Anguish awe plumed upon gnawed bone brittles. Jauf half screamed echopiercing eardrums into echodull and echodrone. Assert reverb belled the prison accentuation his liberative joy in ululate maximate to snap causal, as if his speech had always this presaged, a tone prone proved. Brilliance banged me to kneeling reeling blinks in which, sensesick, seemed Jaufr blanched, bleached, sourdoubt scar. Unable to process assimilate the quickening anxious hyperwhatwhatwhat. My father rumbling don’t take the days for granted. Scrabbling at dusts for coherence. Panic clarity rupturing from the miasma a moment: clutching clammy Jaufr’s hand helpless, kissing its cold, warming it with weep.

The world is so venial and mean and so much joyous interconnect stages heartbreak worse. What we inflict upon each other. What nature just allows. Every love deepens to scar. Nothing cherished will not be bitterly wept. Why should we even try. Who is there to make the infinite awful beautiful in a power not pain? Not me, not these. The selfishness and smallness in which we hide quotidian from howling horror. The insipidity of hurts we nurture to precious tulips vengeance when hell is felt every fifth person, every twentieth memory. [[Analgesic->mstart2]] identities in which to trove scraps scavenged from abyssal trauma. And everything fades so fast you don’t have time to. Trying to make up for nontime and the energy just goes between you and them. Regrets like ruins still recognizable. Every smile you have to live fifty more years not seeing replicated billions across a burning globe. Why even smile. What adds up from the awe but struck? Been choking on the answers.

"Aye, least of a voyage o, not bathing." Mariena. "Where you’re wrong ha," Imeni, "that’s the best of it, what works it. Everyone slowly fierced to honest, each greet roiled in our mutual decay. Towerside hey you’ve the illusion of individual, expects that you should slip to some pure hidden in each impresence prior to perceive, cake up to a juvenation you’ve naught, disgust each time razzled frizzy you flump up to glimpsed weary, as if, you know, where did you come from leh, who’s to admit your real? But embarked, ayin elsewhere from which emergence your aversive is judged, collectivity to bare. On voyage any ugly I hazard transcends beauty as so finally shared, all’s to my want such communion of actuals. "And it’s the timescale too, the monthness of it, like anyone can wake up in the morning next to you, or, or, almost anyone… like you can be seen in your stale so easy, but that brutal exhaust after exhaust broken down to truth, the absolute unflinching [[violence->mtear]] of it, gives the contain a vibe, and that’s what each voyage is really, a vibe we all submit to, different each time but always of us composed. I want that for us." "To compose something?" I. "To compost the inability fertile for some beautiful unimaginable." She smiled to me, through me.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Attenuative drivities focalize morbidities to makeshift creationclipse Vestigial shapery runny in formal causality constitutionatives Attaching to performativity a perforce [[perpetration->mpropelucides]] crescive Toward reality justifieds ordering columnar issuance Polyped upon purpose to audiential [[plasticity->mplasticities]] captivity Towering out skyshoots exceptionalism totality issume Siphoning statuaries to stabilize marblize Sureness connective of repeatable selved to story Sipative consumptive delictated by perceptors delimitive marrowed…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Broaching encloaked the encroaching breach beachhead [[breeding->mpathosopathy]] Our leechways pleurid bouting the plunged sludgelounged, Bromides bubbling stoked scorches plundered upon brevitreous Decay luged to lurid gutterspace strays seething bleeding Stress fractures debouching roach scuttlehardens carapacious Decellerity feasting on corpsicule velleity bleaching Possibility scapes erasure crepuscular loathing lodestone Guiding the farways fastsplays to summon from abseil assailatives Positivaticing starsails availative of flowfling hollows to lodgescars Boundably boundless canvas] to starts marrveilus cavernous Drip droning an aged unchanged [[naturemesh->mepistemic]] ravenous Boulderishly sealing abyssal inclusion zones capitully cavitational, Gravitational incitation to permanence invitational snurrilion Edda eddying of monstrous protogen materia Gracitous to godhood periflection of terminal sump snug…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Immersion traversal seeks your sewn nodal Through trickling rainthread effervesces inundation Immunized to [[epistemic->mepistemic]] bubble bob beneath nodulashing Perscriptive of norm errative scoriated to stratified Immutably ratified excoriations of assume storms plagues Perdured in purgatorial authentorial delineation to curses I’ve strengthened, Conditionalities apperceptive of the thaumaturgic inductivity Rendering entwinned nexals chosen and unchosen, Conferential networks of stimulative twains strain inducive, Telepathic election [[pathosopathy->mpathosopathy]] electronically charted alternal lanes, Each inhibitory inhabited to mill will discerned Teleologic habitional resonance redolently harmonic modulating languishes Undergone to calibrate innation inculcates hypoallergenic, Fertility field emanations to particularize your path, Undulation settling to a retroactively solidified prophesied sybil hypnotized…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Definitional impulse [[plasticities->mplasticities]] teal and terraform Turpentine liminal transitions of delvespace to vessel elace blision Deforming structures to decohere recombinatory terms Unconformative to input and outplace binders Extensioning supplantative subductions to surge idyllists Uncial emended capitalizing upon initial interstitial binuclear Flourish flickers inscript computing valences switch Coded to complicate linguals gradients of mum to hum Floatpoint [[flurries->mpropelucides]] to digitize infinities between binary swiddens…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Subjectivity is the inarticulate gnashing of irreversible cosmic breakage Percolating through permeation permanential [[facilitators->mepistemic]] [[Subjunctive->mpathosopathy]] to term by connective tissuance brevitas, Glistening star salvos racing endlessly a frozen moment of truthative emission Purposending through void exilic energy to existence sole, Glissando variations upon the immutable project emir, Emitter signaler of unity to constituent stitching cosentient Constancy mirages to mentalize the slippage wisdoms, Emissary voyages to positrate gradient granteds coseismal…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Regret gets you halfway to where you were when target, Throughput market of [[halfidentities->mplasticities]] discarded in panic shame Regressive to memories which never fail to flail your tarnished Further than previous inceptives allocated your prophesied, Calibration gates limiting appellative [[propelucides->mpropelucides]] Furtive of proper channels to charnel fuel the engine prospect Inflict inflecting your formative firmanence quest Directing each movement slung against sunrays, Inferential networks of develop guiding manifestation of your quelle…"]

"Achieve actuation in this worldwind matterfier! All within you withoutness inclusional through this clade collider, play your attain, severed assumptive, hymn elision!" Meluoi. "But what, the, it’s, the machine -" I. "Yes, yes, the machine, it connects existence with its exinsistence moebius, and in the loop, erasure creation! Responds to us our unanswerable posed, impacts upon us its endlessness interposed, and if in that severance perpetuance, should destruct collide upon deconstruct, what would emerge, is emergence thence true? Of all our priors, terror of any afters, recurrence cosmic nausea, but heal the disease, sleep sacred, slumber redolent with [[genominitive->mnarrative]] ghosts, psyenthesis phantasms to metaplasm cosm to chasmlabra lit err assure, indivitiated sectoral vectors syzygy zen koan combine of poems’ ends…" (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[Quintessence captural conformal Hopelisting layers starryboarded…]

"Emninu, acquiesce this endyes presence, requite it your treasured rendmust, fateful faithful I account the frayment your beautiful, which will you render, breathless we await your plie to prayer, hasn’t the tension torsion to totality envisioned animated muscle this memory? Attend this reverie, bring forth your precarity’s precious corpus caritas!" Meluoi. Radiated briefly a fury, moduled down to a slurry, could not hear the words woken such the muddy buried, how could ought scratch free of filmy? Entombed wholly verlust, consequential in trust which outsourcer? How could from within any? "Emninu, it is not I who call to you, but the world you have bidden, each instilled hidden now risen, convoke your venn generative of suppression and ignition!" So softly her singsong in brazen burning basshrieks of machine summoned of me the once could whisper to Imeni in smiles, wishing we dwelled in those exceptions excerpted from all this dizzy density, of din a jinn’s ghazal, [[mystic->mnarrative]] engine methanol, all these burieds besides… (align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[In vicious starks destimmed to blankness Vicarious continuous all Alive with brights to dapple power In luminous amelior to Endwell and end well a waybefore That cleanses strife its striving echo…]

Wellness warped upon wrung raw splittered the pooled in sluggishes [[mordant->mspindles]], all behind left in each plunge into fracturing. Whereness thereness splattered in patterns hedging your a maze: splash through its haze humids, sweatraze burning goliath adrift in time.

Being embarrassing in alive in how you move through a whatwherewithal massacring escapes folding hopeless through dearness caustics, burning alive in the mumble as chance evaporates. Accidentally ending up narrowed thisways. Why not celebrate? Sifting through ashes of elsewhere celldancing. And it's so pleasant, you know, simply surrenderism. Wading through mud caking in you the lack of eye contact, no need to emote or create, just gently percolate til the peat [[suffocates->mspindles]].

Workwraught's sediment heats jacketed the [[shiversome->munbinds]] to equalize my [[dissociation->mbloodbroken]] daydreams fuzzwarm [[swelterly->mbreathe]] humid with stark cold [[irreverse->mbleend]]. Glareblinded retreated to [[resinous->mrhythm]] rejections sighed out [[displayed->msmiles]].

"Used to snag up rattled from bed utterly gunked, just sopped full to vomit, like actively choking, spending the first few minutes of the day bent over coughing and coughing mucously, teary," Imeni. "Really heavy like contractions spasming you wrecked, eyeh just what my body was like in the morning lor, didn’t change of it were I sloughed out of sleep early, even as a single hour since curtains, always then bundled over gurgled to cry out the heaves. Sheer toll that takes of you ah. We can embattle any stark resilient, it’s routine as kills us. Way also sleeplack muddies up every jaunt, can’t be after slightest scintilla of work you’re mewling to cuddle the corner. Each consciousness though inaugurated splattering bile and snot and blood sometimes, those were irrupts that even slap out your inured, Yeska how so such a thing but dying, our teeming slow encroaches. Used to get so scared I’d be lucky a month, so started trying to relish last each month, like yeah revel the dregs, you remember probably, saw it in my eyes, those nights I led you moonmad through fires? Guess shouldn’t say so, let you wishbelieve you rhapsodized the fantasy realized, but no, truth of it was just certain I’d be dead by the time the mood wore off. But then the mood wore off. Like you know hor, just like, stillness of emptied for else, and I raged myself rigid, how then I’m to fulfill, emptying sickness starting each [[mourning->mstart8]], and I thought, no, there’s the thought entire, no, I can’t be going this anymore, and I refused to vomit, just held it all in dizzystruck dazed, until I realized, vomiting is a choice, you really don’t biologically have to unless it surges out of your agency, but as long as you can still control, vomiting is a choice. It’s actually amazing how much power this truth has garnered to garnet. I have never felt more bodily true than overwhelmed with sickness and refusing to react. I don’t have to, it’s a choice. Vomiting is a choice. Don’t you follow eh Emnin hey, when you’re bent over salivating the next cough wet, you’re choosing so to subject, actualizing the compulsion. You’re coughing and coughing because you’re participating in the cycle, but you don’t have to, you can just refuse. It will happen or not happen outside of your participation, see? You choose not to over and over, and sometimes it surges out of you disappointed, not even vomiting really then, just like ovulating so, some random process as has nothing to do with you. I still wake up sick yeah sometimes, but honestly it doesn’t register the same anymore, the cycling is lost, it’s just like having a headache or whatever, the normal quakes and aches. Really now more so a positive, waking up each morning empowered to elect." "That’s so beautiful. You’re honestly so beautiful." I. "Ahaha and you know hey I’m after feeling like it, I’m choosing like it now, I reign as gods."

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Melded into [[makeshift->mmakerness]] presences silhouetted upon foreshortens Shimmers sheer surface to shapeshifters’ assembled Meltricity guises sharpening visage [[forthenings->mchirality]] Carapacitous of congressation according to contours Cleft of the rawnumb nervous to plasmatic retain [[Caritas->mcaritas]] esprit for projections of identities consumed, Clay upon the wheel to tactile response designs Imputed upon hyle by eidetic phantasmies Clade into real deeper than denial destroys…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Render unto reaches your resinous collect Offering to honoring your anchoring ordering Renown ordaining your selfexpress to egresses collate Infectious trajectories to repertoire reside Continually performative to possible summons Inferred by contact passionations verge velocity respun [[Chirality->mchirality]] to [[corporeal->mcaritas]] personifies phalangeal Remnants of extension to touched how much we grasp, Chyrons blading through the brain new concepts injected phantasmic Harassing capacity to protect idiolect responder Predicted reactive to preaction projection of predicament Hardening outer shell to encase amber to preface restored Statue of sicknesses written in this system [[sculpting->mmakerness]] Your intentive impassioned motive emotives Statutory effective of relegating exclusive occlusion scutellum…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Variation mystifies phenomenon polysemous empirical Clashing our onticity with otherness viscous with [[objectivity->mmakerness]] Varicose about the precept’s percept process empowerment Determining our limited readership’s headwinds [[talewound->mchirality]] Fluttering unsurity through irreducible ambiguity Detonating anxieties of appercept in sensory tallies [[Circumscribing->mcaritas]] our world in which we conceive Believe in possibility religious of imperceptible powers Circuit navigability to light the path with externalized conduition…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Split upon the plural to unit cleaved clear Open to interpretive pulmination [[ensoulment->mcaritas]] Splintering to concept persevere from blank to clean Absolved of priors an individuated destiny driver Prophesied towards perspiration truths trickling Absynth vermilion vibrant to [[compositor->mmakerness]] drill Substrate miner to selfsolve germinations gemstones Radiating siren compelling direction to ruin Sublating to reintegrate individual crystallines to gemini [[Entwist->mchirality]] echo apparitives one signful sourcellative Specialized and reunified and pulverized and culminated Entirety cycle propelling each commitment to soultimation…"]

Ice spark drips speckled slipcover silk wrapped around our rubble, black rose quilt dewy with diamonds drilling our sighmists for silence. Briartwist each mired in barbed wire prisons of nailfile weeps, slick cough steepeds, so much shoved so deep quickening to no, relent not to cry, tense, inner elisions violence, taut before the white cold haughty primed closed fist to emboulderen fraughts sealed mine, denial wist pressed thinner to ice sheet snap, sap clot it, glistens coagulate to listen how she misses. "Time was we were up on roofs, you know the guise mah, laying immersed in how the darkness moved, floating upon its glacier glowing before swaddling of all swallowing. You could feel the Tower move, each of its people drover to their equilibrium, calibrative settling of inhale, exhale, inhale, on centuries scale, dreamy would we press or dance or nestle to process how the breathing would enmesh the move, tap little secrets to echo us to sleep in a month, tinkering with colossus. We’d build these imaginative frameworks of hyperpliable permeations [[resonating->mcompany]] everything, so our world resounded. Jumps here joisted there, hoists of this slumped that, a reality to the rigging ripplative of operative effects, a most intoxicating dream ah? And laying there immixed in our designs we deigned to touch the stars, could we jut high enough a peak to peek behind the sky, see what candles filtered through those windows, enliven ourselves spirits aflame. So we strategized a whole plot, frittered whiles on intricate push and pull to farthen this one highrise, then on a night we decided auspicious flurried up top to startouch, genuinely gleamed large like just a slip away, glanced like only needed a jump, readied ourselves celestial, and, lined up to the ledge and sky, doubled over laughing like hey ahh she’s actually going to jump the billy, someone tie down the [[dreamer->mloneliness]] lah, how to explain to the belowers how you’re raining down, right so? Sighed like hey ahh Kaiya, we need gem up delusion as never needs proving, then not this abash, but she grinned up the ludic, what’s abash about a world where you know deeper than real you can fly? Ehh, maybe she is lor, still flying now, lifted into the [[gale->mstart9]] that always sung to her mother."

Eached to our separated shivers conjured of seaspray a drizzle mood. Nebulous noticemesh merged with the widened hollow. She would have found a way to fill. Mariena sighed her unable to. "Which lost floating was it we were gabled in a decayer with Tasyumi, must’ve been a decent ago eh, waiting for Lemeli her name was to [[slosh->mstart9]] in victuals, she’d ventured for us up greenhouse way, Mazyu I think was bothered up with her on the go, but so we were stretched on the waiting quite the while as we got to worrying like, suggested I we might just go up ourselves and if meet her on the way, but Kaiya said we’d only manage to miss her and have stomachs to suffer, which caused Tasyumi to say so was already, waiting further only worsened the negative, and after a bit of bickering they’d decided they’d split ways to wander after, and I’d wait the place should she return. Really didn’t want that, but they’d agreed to it as didn’t need my input, and the shadows didn’t creep far before loned in that decayer, which I’d never before, used to be an inbody but with Kaiya and to voyage, lacked the inured mettle to lurk an abandoned. Stiffened myself for it, an adult I just gotta such a ways sometimes, nestled into one unnerve to disarm the rest, blended with the darkness, and just, bode, deadened myself to every, get you sucked in role so far you cannot out of it, every direction a different kind of it. Mind blanked to eonsludge. Crawled on the cold whispering to it like a dream lived outloud muted so they won’t hear, who leer through windows, gauge me in each grigio slupple of slanted light. Sought to super slow blink so I’d lose which was which and dwell between halfwoken, timestolen. Adjusted to a twilight that daylight didn’t dispel, slumberous repelling all stimulus disruptive of this inductive haze, haze reproductive, strucken of coiled its occlusion shortens to blunted sensories. Moaned to the moonlight, roamed the corridors scratching the peeling wallpaper. Yes ehh I was really, you have to understand that at some basic level that is me, I can just dress to go out, but as soon as those external pressures dissipate, it’s back to rubbing floorboards while singing to hiders below, and it’s not ahh, not so weird as sounds leh, Kaiya always got that it wasn’t crazy but a kind of ambient relation. I mean you know me, you know I’m not crazy. Just can jumble my own craic hey. Jaufr used to love that about me, my being more than the room requires. But it can really dampen you quick to too dank to sunrise, and even so they weren’t gone long, the three of them standing over asking if I’m alright, couldn’t even mumble modulate. And you know what? Kaiya lied them I was drunk on some harders, got them laughing on it, then nodded me elsewhere with our share, and we just togethered quietly a time, you know? Never asked mentioned the lethargy, just was there day and night as if normal, as if there weren’t to be otherness. How can you replace that? Who can you be in place of that? Ayin a shred of me to modulate from this shadow wept."

Reassurance reinforces a reality once contingent, conformal thence to scars where creeps in wildform happenstance, causality requires an author, and so often she stepped in, signed. Symbolic resonances all sighing her name. Cowrote the stable, how to continue when her stabilies weave not wondrous a fable to enfold theme with seething, geyserously breathing wyvern warps ripping planar forms to plummet newise unstallable stellate wreathe contours intolerable our fallibles fall into pleatable patternly devoured by unfathomable promontories protonic mono story of shape retroactively certifying viologue diedact, cast unto stochast our inabilities to together add up yet congruous nevertheless a history, so many memories we treasure inside, which of them to weep to this freeze and expect? Mariena and I were verged on impasse, we accepted the latent recrimination whispered by nearness to naughtpress. Each minute our silence stauncher depressive, pressures too great to shrug, stay furtive forward leaning into seasmoke [[spillness->mstart9]], dreaming of inside, is no inside, she isn’t. Sighed, not loud enough for her to hear, merely to match the many she muted drear. We could wait forever here and never appear, so we in slide from pause to halt. Yet how many times was it Kaiya who told me to keep moving? Passivity an activity one of my main flaws, admitted it to her empathy, she nodded in step with me but hurried ahead of me to redirect the maudlin, mentioned how much her mother mentioned dolphins, more beautiful than birds in that their speed is sleeved in resistance immersion, they blade not the empty but the great devourer, the endlessness of sents, these saints who refuse its finality, revel in the infinitely liminal glaive cleaving a betweenness our lives englade, she used to pray to their passing, wishing that if as swiftly we could swim we would not brim so much with sorrow, how laden we become until the body admits this and ceases. And I, so crude and imperceptive, asked what this meant, and she, too kind of perspective, suggested I might be more sure than she, and I said, yes, maybe, though I’m not really sure… I tried to return the kindness so many times; yes, sure you did, lowering her into death, no but I didn’t, but you did, you did, you are the reason she is dead, had you fought harder she would be here, Kaiya is gone forever and it’s you who allowed this, who focused on otherness at precisely the moment she needed you, and you, you, beneficiary of cumulative weeks of her care, her careful persistence of how you couldn’t, and isn’t that what killed her, a gentleness which could not enmesh with the world, which would dissipate into violence, and you are manifestation equally of this violence, no reality outside the replication, you are why not her not here. No but it’s, eyahh! Is that really? Well but if she knew what would she say? That’s the problem, she won’t say anymore. Her words can no longer be extrapolated to continuing conditions. Her truth has slipped beyond grip, pervades the looming impossible. But I can remember, so clearly, how she used to bite her lip and tilt her head when struggling want to say, and I used to think, how marvelous a mind must it be to require such strenuous to say, when I fail to speak it’s simply the non. I remember how she used to roll her shoulders asynchronously when she had been standing too long; I remember how she would start an incisive criticism with a near playfulness, how she would praise you with a strange seriousness; I remember how she believed that you could hear people just before they started speaking if you listened to how silence fractures. I remember how she screamed, screamed, no, no! Kaiya, who are you in this mode? There has to still be a you, because there’s me, so much of it you, not enough to fill the quiet. Mariena sighed the silence fractured, and it’s in those we harbor through hard nights, a torn no more to home.

"Beautiful the rain," Mariena, "excess of rush in a moment stillness pregnant, could worship a twilight like so in so many hollow nights to follow, yet she wore it more beautiful still, how her hair ringletted with wet loops, how her cheeks indistinguished tears. More than the sea she seemed to we who've breathed nothing else forced to share this air with her. Reached out to her as she strode towards rails as if she would slip beyond possible, immix in moonlight, bode eternities in her goddess vanish, but she held still the [[storm->mstart9]] her grasp, all motion spiraling from her firmness' refusal sainted in the psalm, this doesn't have to be, turned back towards our shivering mass confuseds, not this, anything but this, death must seal us separate, fire in her eyes then the sun I have worshiped in each noon. That moment, so much more beautiful than my soul, is mine now to cherish. She gave that to me. That now, in cold sea wash, I have not repaid her, does not surprise me, seeps up more than sorrow, joy, that I, whoever I have been, have received this gift, proven now too great for earth."

Time doesn't need you, and neither do the [[places->mstart13]] where you lose them, so you continue until you cannot.

Ruminates steel granules gleam ocean surface smoke [[ghostly->mstart13]] sinuous. Touch presses into its blade unreducive of its surface, unconducive to flow, resinous resistous transistors supercharging plasmic unconforms. Voltsimmer bloodwines swirl intoxicate helical moanmurs to velvet rest. Plush simmers signify the... Dust and more dearth. Confined to filth this dullness inculcation. Force yourself through sieve til remainders sweatsoaked bendable to work. Exhaustion cakes up lactic in each act which would be better performed were it not you, whatever excess you wish to deign so. Ox exist til tilled plain tiling the plane replicates the plained. Equal to dust motes, ask for [[more->mnothing]]? Which more would receive such as subterranean persists from sludge its slosh? Who have you been to attain moreness? You saw, didn't you, [[Jaufr->moutcome]]? Is that what you ask? You sweep through all these scenes equivalent to what fits not in.

Beneath our experiential drive lies the vast unwoken subspoken which coheres not to each clayform [[wrested->mstart13]]. Multifield vibration cascades overriding minima which remain minima which await infinitely patiently. How do you answer? Should you embrace beautiful oblivion, riot onward violence vibrance? Assumption this vibration is an answer to a question. Because we're filled by them and feel only through them. Whose voice rings out true? Live at which pitch? Choose, your energies await! Until honest throbs you stripped. Dull whine of a mind humming still yet. How is there still fuel, whom are you burning?

Darkened against evening glazeglare his mien mystery harbor in storm unreachable more and more. Hindered under his weight. Babbled a pipe to sparks and splurts decorating a sludge splutter. Neon dots appear on my eyelids then linger just beyond the blink, signs phantasmal of a fiendish fire ages ashed. Matrices of signs of withholds alienated any progress irretrievable of medium. He sighed scintillating into bloodspeckled. "Where do we wander which have we not before, is there not truth in this, in, ekh, akh, are we yet above the line, Veda, we must..." No one interrupted his long pauses with admissions of what they meant. Indistinct in the ongo his words wheedled attempts across cyclone battered isthmus. "Sure if I have heard the fault I must starken, let it ring hollow in how we have led ourselves hero to this healing place, redemption temple still golden with eons' promise..." Leiska led the lanky lane through marsh splotch harshening. Ankleeater topsies burbled in the brown. "Evening comes for us one by all until solidify we soldiers of stars or [[dissipate->mechoscatters]] with the wind hints of once fire..." Wet cloth sagged steps, chafed steps, steepened stumbles. "Been wandering these decades to which shore, awaits us above our arrival into summit being, and should they not look upon us with envy, those so many built into mountainside?" Vasya splattered into a peat deep. Volya yanked him out, whipped his clothes cleaner with a brusque care. An exchange muttered with familiarities not to be projected to us. "Borne temporals entempled in intangibles truer than..."

Squeaks of steps electric riddled neon the ochre over to which warprattled fugue paresthetic reached rubysalival Myeri bobbing on my back, on my neck hacking, and every peripheral terminal pulsed to slowing rhythm, spiking in an anubian daze: "Where is this, where am, where have we gone, are we, have we arrived upon the Veda? Yes, I can, oh sailors, they’re so close, can’t you hear their chants?" "Heard enough of them aye," Volya. "I’m, I’m sure of it, we’re, hurhk, vesph, we’ve arrived upon… as a youth I would see them skitter through the alleys at midnight, ghosts of those paths which used to connect us all..." "He's squiggling badly, like badly badly." I. "Aye so, just hold him up and shut up." Leiska. "Could follow them into secret gardens hidden behind known gardens, lushness overriot reigning in flowers and fruits as not to my names, vermilion excess lashing bluetinted hunker, space where you could look up and forever, gleaming emerald meaning..." "Emerald?" Meluoi. "Eyah can hear them, Veda, they're coming for us, sailors, we've reached between the barriers, pierced into the very heart of the demon, now we cannot be locked into stricture orients from its rue origin, bunched upon its amaranthine to amarsive sips. You must believe in their, in our... and I would reach to these fruits, glistening so sweetly in so stronger a light than gauged it darkened the world prior and after, gazepunched dim, riotous in arcane vim vined utmost in cupped moss priss thorned to touch, if only could touch, reaching undistinguishably to a mass which shifted, could never instigate singleness of response, from the garden a glowmist impassable, impermeable sensaria, blurberry [[echoscatters->mechoscatters]] pulping through the sluices to dribble ambrosial hints cast in skandhas a desire samsara, lusting juices which elude my truthed this planar, this reframal, glurk, akh, it's, I can taste upon my tongue wine, can taste it at last, sailors, supernal savoring..." He kept coughing, pulpier, pulpier, tinging crimson.

Swish of deadlight delumed his drear focalized upon our nervous too heavy, too forced, precious beyond senses, could not reckon us real. Watched the will marble. Spittle hacks heavier and deeper relegated his truth to outside, covered in it we could not decide it, shirked it, carried simply his body forth, bobbing weakly imitations of heartrhythms yet this procession beating us to time, progression hunches dribbled on bleak sabersharps digging into ankles, heels, jutting up legs in long stalk painsparks, congealing in the pelvis a gnaw like bone on a bonesaw. Throbs thrummed to zoning out. Disappearing tangibility accentuated at last his ideal. Long flanges flickered his final words to us in fragments of chromatic tones: overbearing grimaces haunted upon a candelabra floating timeless in too much space for anything to ever occupy but dispresence; a fear that forms you, nurtures you, caresses you as chaos abounds, until you speak only in dribbles of its milk; raging despire morphed from those riddling to spools in lugubrious desires hot waxy with embarrassment out of body selfperceives blocked out with yet more commitment, yet more assurance hostility; fully furnished rooms you wander into as a smear; gods and all the lofty names transposed upon the vectors they briefly, so storyclosed occupied; routines that reminded you there was something else, once, which filled the hours; chasing sunsets, bitter steeping in each frigid [[starshine->mstart14]] before again crusade; refusing too many petty luxuries that the austerity becomes for itself, of itself, a petty luxury; a grandiose kindness dreading each person involved in its munificent display, grateful handshakes that make your skin crawl, eyes glazed roll assemblage of effects dozens lanking coda to pure the act anxieting your ablute yearn to yet another cleansing generous; the time the roof fell in, hurt no one, and you just kept chatting, increasingly distracted by how much, and how badly you feel for it, wishing someone had died, wishing it had, somehow, some monster peering through it, rising upon the roof to merge spirits with calamity, with how it howled and you flinched not, pulsating with vector... Diminuendo swept his words too low, but we kept congregated as if unsure. After twenty soaked minutes, Leiska urged us on. The blunted persisted.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Spindrift selfhood propel through mediate permeations Categorizing each passthrough pellative Spirit contourly of interact chain [[permanences->mmakerness]] Vesting incident its permute Circulate subdermal mutations raging Vespinae furywinged buzz stinging perdition Conditioning arc to ark in which welded we amount Uncertainty surfaces finality surfeits deniers Consummated in attainment waymark amortization…"]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["Connections develop empathways to surge in sieve incipience Networking individuateds a universalized alongside Conducive to producing enveloping lashfaze hurt believer increments Cremations mountains unified finality substance, Angel formations in which to commune create Crescive entruthment persistences transistors subroutine Training entireties to empyreon their possibilities Vector changers restimorphic morpheusian Traveling elysian venusian stressmospheres posinthesis Determinative refresco modal modeling the mold Consecrator of [[makerness->mmakerness]] nakedness Detonating innate charged to enfold this mundane damned molliative"…]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")["[[Absolution->mstart26]] of all that lies incomplete Convicts the tension in release to believe Absence of dream attains real in each incorporation, Trusted in self by the rise up to actuate, Groundwards seeking links to skyward breathing Trudging solisel assume precognitioned active Looming across the scarred wayward markfield Glooming under domed moon uncertains Looking across to where might in vista dwell marred Tangible finality in which imperfect sift could you semblance, Accept how am I guessed imperfection of replicators Tangent to a truth my outcasting proves semiotic..."] "And whom, in the final render, shall you pose? If you never attain that phantasmy, will the phantom else rendition mono you meant?"

"You'll never claw free of this tomb." Haungers my [[mother->mmother2]] from beneath my [[cot->mcot]]. She reaches up and strangles me. But I do not die. Am not dead. Am differently in am, am, always this am, will not not until not, which never has happened, nor will, so long as I have anything to say about it.

"Every awful thing I have read generates this [[anxiety->mstart24]] that life is capable of that, I might have to face it, if I keep having to have." She. "I don't understand," I mewled. She slapped me. "Now that you have received this, bear this in every possible moment, its possibility shadow. That is the gentlest version of this lesson; I shall spare you having to hold the entirety of its meaning."

One [[thought->mthought]] in front of the other which is in front of the previous one and somehow they [[chain->mchain]] up to no, no, that can't be all it adds up to, eah, I wish it hadn't ever!

Chained into thought into perhaps and go as if anything lies at the end of this circulating, but you are thrown around the gauntlet its givenness, simply [[persistence->mstart24]] of the question.

If I could go back, take back everything, climb back until at last clutching umbilical I could question first cause, I would simply let go, cascade back through to this damnation, mine who I have had to [[endure->mstart24]].

Seeping through the cloth [[sweat->mstart24]] of another day, congealing in its gels lifeblood.

Everything fall short, yes, I admit what I have made, ask not for mercy, less for pity, simply guilty, [[thencewards->mstart24]].

That's what you [[are->madmit]]. Why else hasn't anything of value [[permanenced->mdies2]] from your [[interference->mconsciousness]]?

Jaufr [[sunken->madmit]] beneath the waves is more beautiful than he was above surface, whispers the creak of the ship, and I nod, it actually kind of makes [[sense->mconsciousness]], that's definitely true, and wouldn't I, [[drowned->mdies2]], be beautiful too?