States of Awareness

You are [[Nora Curtis|Opening]].

It is raining. For the first time in many months, it is raining. You can't hear your own breathing over the sound of it pounding against the walls and roof of your car. Idling at the edge of the parking lot, you stare distantly through your passenger window at the scene unfolding [[within it]].

(set: $Opening to (color: #ffd33c)) (enchant: ?Page, $Opening) =><= (live: 1s)[(stop:)[#States of Awareness]] (live: 3s)[(stop:)[[[...|Nora 1]]]]

The Goldeyes are smudgy, stumbling silhouettes. What they lack in grace, they make up for with ferocity, dragging themselves forward like they're as hungry for each inch of pavement as they are for the girl they're chasing. The girl is barely more alert than they are, terror making her footsteps slippery on the flooded ground. As you watch, she nearly (link: "trips.") [trips. Thunder (link: "claps.") [claps. One of the Goldeyes falls into a (link: "puddle.") [puddle. Lightning illuminates the sky beyond the (link: "mountains.") [mountains. The Goldeye emerges – dripping, [[snarling.]]]]]]

You hope, with your entire heart, that this girl is not who you think she is. But as she makes a sprinted beeline for your car, pale face becoming clearer and clearer through the rain-streaked window, there's no denying it (link: "anymore.") [anymore. In a Safeway parking lot, at the end of all things, you've found [[Leah Mowbray]] again.]

The world of high school, of [[homework]] and [[college apps]] and [[dumb social drama]], feels so far away from you now - though really, it can't have been very [[long]] since that was your life. Leah Mowbray, though, is an open wound. You're startled by just how open - a hot, fierce resentment bubbling up as you watch her panicked scamble toward you. Maybe that makes you petty. Maybe you don't [[care]].

For you, high school was defined by hard work. You might have gone a little overboard, packing AP classes onto your transcript like your life depended on it. At the time it just seemed like the thing to do. You were good at it, and a hard worker - never quite able to emphathize with your classmates' anxiety-induced homework paralysis. *Just do your work,* you always wanted to say. *It's not that hard.* Now, you almost laugh at the thought. You all thought the stakes were so high, back [[then.|Leah Mowbray]]

All the little injustices of this period of your life. It still hurts, even now - especially now, really, with all this time you have to yourself to think about it. Your unjust and unexpected rejection from Yale was what set the ball rolling, and from there it didn't stop - you didn't get into any of the colleges you really wanted to go to. *Deserved* to go to. And then there was Leah, the most unjust of them [[all.|Leah Mowbray]]

Your social life wasn't exactly vibrant. It wasn't your fault - the people at your school just didn't really interest you. You had friends. Some of them you even liked - but they all began to annoy you eventually, and over time they just trickled [[away.|Leah Mowbray]]

When did it start? When did it all start? You remember the days when it was as simple as a few alarming headlines, background noise for your sheltered small town-California life. From there, it's – you don't know. It could have been one month. It could have been three. Since what, though? Since what? How do you pinpoint the moment that matters [[most?|Leah Mowbray]]

Her panicked face draws closer and closer. Your eyes lock through the window, and you remember the way she looked when she broke up with you. Not like this. No, she didn't show nearly this much emotion. She was just distant. Cold. It's the only way you remember her, now. Your emotive Leah, drained of all her color. [[Wait for her.]] [[Drive off.]]

Hoping against hope that some good karma will come your way for once, you reach across to open the passenger door. Your arm is too short. "Shit," you mutter, lunging so your side digs painfully into the center console. Your fingertips have just brushed the silver handle when the door bursts [[open.]] (set: $Stay to 1)

Leah sees the decision in your face the moment you make it. Her eyes widen, and she yells out a frantic, *"Nora!"* that you hear even over the rain. You break eye contact just as she reaches the car, swerve your wheel hard to the left, and put your foot to the gas. You don't look behind you. (live: 3s)[(stop:)[[[...|You are Leah Mowbray.]]]] (set: $Leave to 1)

You are [[Leah Mowbray|Opening 2]].

(set: $Opening2 to (color: #ffd33c)) (enchant: ?Page, $Opening2) =><= [#States of Awareness] (live: 2s)[(stop:)[[[...|Leah 1]]]]

It is raining. It is raining, and you are sprinting through the flooded Safeway parking [[lot.]]

The dance of your squelching feet carries you steps in front of a snarl over your right shoulder. You once told your mother you'd rather die than see Nora Curtis again. Across the parking lot, that familiar black car, that familiar dark-haired head peering at you through a rain-streaked passenger window. Thunder rumbles: *Oh yeah? [[Prove it.]]*

You hear a splash behind you - against your better judgement, turn - and see the fastest Goldeye scrambling out of the puddle it has fallen into. It was a twenty-something man and it snarls, gold irises dulled to a yellowish silver by the gloomy sky. The other two Goldeyes, far behind it, snarl in response, like some sort of fucked up background singers. You stare, even as your footfalls (link: "*go*")[*go,* (link: "*go*") [*go,* (link: "*go*") [*go,* - and the lead singger comes after you before it has reached its feet, scrambling, crawling, loping, and then *running* with its back bent at an unnatural angle, mouth gaping, eyes [[wide.]]]]]

You decide you're not going to die today. Fuck [[Nora Curtis|front row seat]], but also fuck getting eaten alive. Especially fuck getting eaten alive *in front of* Nora, who is still staring from her idling [[car.]]

As you bound through the water and Nora's completely impassive expression becomes clearer through the haze of the storm, you wonder how Nora would feel about watching you get eaten alive. It's probably a good sign that she's waiting there to save you, but it's also worth noting that she's got a front row seat to your possible [[demise.|wide.]]

(if: $Leave is 1)[You lock eyes with Nora, and something - something about her face, something cold, something vacant - makes your stomach drop in panic. *"Nora!"* you shout. Time seems to slow down. You watch as she weighs your life in her hands, expression unchanging. And then, a beat later, she's [[gone.]]] (if: $Stay is 1) [Oh, shit. Here you are. Here's the car. For the agonizing moment that your numb fingers scramble over the handle of the passenger door, you have the sense of being suspended, and then the door is open and you fall into your choice. "Drive!" you gasp, slamming the door behind [[you.|Drive]]]

You gasp a sharp, cold breath into your lungs. The world spins around you. And then you're (link: "falling.") [falling. You have a moment to wonder what you tripped on, before your chin hits the pavement, knocking your teeth against each other. You cry out, head ringing, knees smarting – and something falls upon you, a warm, wet weight. Frenzied breaths in your (link: "ear.") [ear. Dull teeth sink into your (link: "shoulder.") [shoulder. You try to say something - you're not sure what - but nothing comes (link: "out.") [out. All you can hear now is the rain.]]]]

A very wet Leah Mowbray tumbles into the passenger seat. "Drive!" she gasps, slamming the door behind her. You [[drive.|Drive 2]]

Nora drives. You need to catch your breath but you can't seem to accomplish this - you hear, as though from a distance, your breaths coming faster and faster. *Pull yourself together,* you think at yourself, furiously. Breathe in. Breathe out. Nora is watching you out of the corner of her eye. In. Out. Your vision is blurry from rain in your [[eyelashes.]] The car is the same, but Nora's gotten rid of the pink plush [[dice]] you gave her to ironically hang from her (link: "dashboard.")[dashboard. "Nora," you gasp, finally. "Hello," Nora says. [["What the fuck are you doing here?"|Leah Convo 1]] [["I can't believe it's you. Jesus. What the hell."|Leah Convo 2]]]

Smudged gray buildings through the front windows. You blink several times and realize that Nora's headed for the nearest highway entrance. The rain has [[stopped.|Drive]]

You hope, bizarrely, that they found a good home and that they're not just sitting in the trash somewhere. Then you remember that even if they did, their new owner is probably [[dead.|Drive]]

Only minutes later, when the rain has stopped and Leah's frantic breaths have slowed into something resembling a normal person's oxygen intake, does she say, "Nora." "Hello," you (link: "reply.")[reply. "Nora," Leah repeats. "Nora. What the fuck are you doing here?" [["I could ask the same of you. Why aren't you in a safe zone?"|Safe Zone]] [["Is that French for 'thank you'?"|French]]]

Leah shakes her [[hair]] like a dog; it sprays water everywhere. "We had an outbreak," she says. "You know, the fucking - [[carriers.]]" [["Yeah."|Saliva]] [["You had one?"|Saliva]]

You were expecting her to lash back - instead, she looks caught off guard. "Oh," she says. "Uh - thank you, I'm sorry. I was just...confused?" "Yeah," you say shortly. "Me too." A moment passes. You can feel her eyes on you. "I was in a Safe Zone," she offers, after a moment. "Alto Field. But we had an outbreak. You know, the fucking [[carriers.|carriers2]]" [["Yeah."|Saliva]] [["You had one?"|Saliva]]

She cut it to her shoulders right after the break-up. It looks better in person than it did on her Instagram, but she should've kept it [[long.|Safe Zone]]

The breakthrough happened when Goldeye was already unstoppable. Not that it could really be called a breakthrough - all it did was explain *why* Goldeye was unstoppable, not how to stop it. They're called carriers. Infected people who show no symptoms. Feel no symptoms. Spreading the disease through their saliva, their blood - and not even knowing it. All bets were off, after that. Safe Zones couldn't be called Safe Zones [[anymore.|Safe Zone]]

She shrugs, fidgeting with the damp strings of her hoodie. "I don't know how it spread," she says. "I guess someone made out with someone, or shared a fork, or some shit. It's so fucking scary. You don't even know if it's you. Like," she gestures toward her own chest, *"I* could be the one spreading (link: "it.")[it." She glances sideways at you. "I really don't think I am," she adds quickly, holding up both hands as if to show you she's not carrying a weapon, "so don't worry. But still." You pull onto the empty [[highway.]]]

You believe her, somehow. For all her faults, she's one of the most self-aware people you've ever known. Strange as it seems, you feel sure she would know if she was a carrier. How absolutely fucked up it is to be trapped in this car with her, under these (link: "circumstances.")[circumstances. But maybe you're being a little dramatic. Maybe the universe is just trying to help, in its own fumbling way. How many times have you imagined confronting Leah? And now she's here - here, where she can't run away. That's [[something.|Convo 1]]]

"Look out," Leah says. There's a Goldeye staggering along the side of the road, back facing them. You swerve to the other side of the highway and blow past it. Leah swivels around to look at it out of the back window. "He's chasing us," she says, in the same tone one might use to say, *it's raining outside.* "Look at him go. You can't eat us, bitch." Still, she watches for the next minute or two before turning back around in her seat. "So is that why you left your [[Safe Zone|Nora's reasons]], too?" [["Mmhm."|Driving Around]] [["No, I was never in a Safe Zone. I was with my family, but they all got infected."|Driving Around]]

You never were in a Safe Zone. You holed up with your family - windows boarded up, kitchen stocked with supplies - and it seemed like you might be okay like that, for awhile. Until the night you woke up to the sounds of multiple pairs of hands clawing at your bedroom door, inhuman groans barely recognizable as the voices of your parents and (link: "siblings.")[siblings. Someone had left the axe in your room. You used it to break out of your own [[window.|Convo 1]]]

You pause. "I've been driving around this area ever since," you add. "I'm not sure where else to go. "We're kind of trapped, (link: "here.")[here." Leah is frowning at you. "Where do you get the gas?" "There's a station far off the highway," you tell her. "We're headed there right now. I think I'm the only person who knows about (link: "it.")[it." "Hm." Leah nods. "Why don't you just stay there and wait for all this to blow over?" [["You think this is going to blow over?"]] [["This isn't gonna blow over."]]]]

"I mean, I hope so," Leah says. "You don't? Oh wait, of course you don't." She smirks. It's an unpleasant expression. You split off from the highway, into the yellow [[hills.]]

For a moment, she doesn't say anything. You can feel her staring at you. Then, suddenly, she snorts. "Oh my god," she says, nastily. "You're exactly the same. Jesus Christ, Nora." You don't grace her with a response. You split off from the highway, into the yellow [[hills.]]

You pass a health insurance billboard featuring a smiling family, so brightly saturated that they're nearly glowing with their apparent good health. You pass this billboard every day, but today something is different. Someone has covered the famiy's eyes with splotches of bright gold spray paint. "Oh, Leah says, and then the billboard is behind [[you.|Nora Confrontation]]

"I could ask the same of you," Nora responds, wryly. "Why aren't you in a Safe Zone?" Your wet hair is clinging to your neck - you shake your head, wincing as you spray yourself with water and pieces of hair whip across your face. "We had an outbreak," she says. "You know, the fucking - [[carriers.|Carriers Leah]]"

"Yep. It's me." Nora drums her fingers on the steering wheel, not looking at you. "Crazy. So what happened to you? Why aren't you in a safe zone?" Your wet hair is clinging to your neck - you shake your head, wincing as you spray yourself with water and pieces of hair whip across your face. "We had an outbreak," you say. "You know, the fucking - [[carriers.|Carriers Leah]]"

You managed to squeeze into the Four Seasons of Northern California Safe Zones just before they reached maximum capacity and shut their doors to the pleading, dying public. But it doesn't matter now. The carriers fucked you. Everyone you know came to the conclusion that the world was going to end at different points, but you didn't even allow youtself to consider the possibility until the carrier shit came to light. Unknowing killers. You yourself could be one. But you know you're not. You're not sure how - you just [[do.|Leah Convo 3]]

"You had one?" Nora asks. You wonder if she's accusing you. You fidget with the damp strings of your hoodie. "I don't know how it spread," you say. "I guess someone made out with someone, or shared a fork, or some shit. It's so fucking scary. You don't even know if it's you." You look at [[Nora]]. Seeing her unimpressed expression, you quickly add: "Like, *I* could be the one spreading it." Oh what the fuck, that's not what you meant to say at all. You can feel your hands beginning to shake. Nora still gazes impassively out at the highway. "I really don't think I am," you add quickly, "so don't worry. But still." Nora pulls onto the empty [[highway.|Highway Leah]]

*Why isn't she saying anything?* For all you know, Nora could be sitting there fully convinced you're a carrier, prepared to throw you out of the car at the next most opportune moment, and you'd be none the wiser. You groan, internally, at how familiar this is. Navigating Nora and her obscure emotions, never sure when she's really unbothered or when resentment is bubbling beneath the surface, ready to boil over. You're not going to walk on eggshells again, after all you did to get away from that. You're (link: "not.")[not. You can't fucking believe you're in this situation. How's this for out of the frying pan, into the [[fire?]]]

You notice a Goldeye staggering along your side of the highway. "Look out," you warn Nora. She swerves to the other side of the highway to avoid it. You swivel around to look out the back window. At the sight of your car, the Goldeye has broken into a run. "It's chasing us," you say. "You can't eat us, bitch," you add, so Nora knows you're not actually scared. Finally, the Goldeye is reduced to a dark pinprick on the yellow horizon. You turn back around in your seat. [["Where are we going?"]] [["So is that why you left your Safe Zone, too?"]]

You think maybe you should have asked instead about Nora's Safe Zone, but you don't want to, just as you don't want to look at Nora, just as you don't want to thank Nora for saving your life. It's dumb, but you're still skeptical that leaping into your ex-girlfriend's car was the right choice, even considering your imminent death-by-Goldeye. You have to allow yourself these little (link: "distances.")[distances. "To a gas station," Nora says. "It's far off the highway. I think I'm the only one who knows about it." [["Why don't you just stay there and wait for this all to blow over?"|Blow Over]] [["Mm. Okay."]]]

"Mmhm." She pauses. "I've been driving around this area ever since. I'm not sure where else to go. We're kind of trapped, here." "Where do you get the gas?" you ask her. "There's a station far off the highway," she says. "We're headed there right now. I think I'm the only person who knows about it." [["Why don't you just stay there and wait for this all to blow over?"|Blow Over]] [["Mm. Okay."]]

Nora eyes you. "You think this is going to blow over?" "I mean, I hope so," you say. You're not sure you believe your own words, but you have to say them. That's what will make the difference, in the end. "You don't? Oh wait, of course you don't." It's so like Nora. You get it, you do - the fucking world's ending, for fuck's sake - in fact, if it was *anyone* else, you wouldn't be as annoyed as you are. But it's *Nora,* Nora who could never let you have a single moment of joy without qualifying it. Reigning you back [[in.|Joy]] Nora pulls off the highway, into the yellow [[hills.|Hills Leah]]

Nora pulls off the highway, into the yellow [[hills.|Hills Leah]]

At one time, you thought the pessimism was strangely charming - mature, even. She's a year older than you, and this just seemed like one more part of that: an unfamiliar, interesting (link: "mentality.")[mentality. But this changed when you began to recognize it as a weapon – a device for bringing you down to her level. As if the fluctuations between adoring you and ignoring you weren't enough, she filled your brain with negatives like it was her damn job. One more thing to make you sad, make you reliant on the adoring (link: "moments.")[moments. You're still not sure if she meant it. If she means it now, staring straight ahead like she's mad at you. She's one of the least self-aware people you've ever [[met.|Blow Over]]]]

The road stretches ahead of you - perfectly straight, it seems, until it reaches the horizon - and it is flanked on either side by rolling plains of yellow grass. You pass a billboard on which someone has spraypainted gold over everyone's eyes. You nearly miss it, but catch a glimpse that sears itself into your (link: "brain.")[brain. "Can we talk?" Nora asks. Your entire body tenses up. You put your feet on the dashboard, hugging your knees, trying to hold yourself so you won't start shaking again. [["Let's not."|Confrontation Leah]] [["I'd rather not."|Confrontation Leah]]]

Minutes pass. You wonder if you should be worried about the paint, an obvious sign that someone has been this way recently. "You're right," Leah says. "This is far off the highway." Far, yes. And you have her here. This is your chance. [["Can we talk?"|Talk]] [["We should talk."|Talk]]

There's a beat of silence. Then Leah says, "About what?" You pause. *What do you fucking think?* you want to say. Instead, straining not to sound pissed, you say, "You know." Leah puts her right foot up on the dashboard, then her left, huggging her knees. "Let's not," she says. [["I just saved your life."]] [["I deserve an explanation."]]

She is both the same – skinny, round-faced, dark hair tied back – and different – vacant-looking, where before she had the smartest eyes of anyone you [[knew.|Leah Convo 3]]

"I just saved your life," you point out. "Put your feet down." Leah puts her feet down. The gas station appears in the distance. You press harder on the pedal in anticipation. Leah says, "It's been months." You can feel her eyes on you. *No, Leah,* you think furiously at her, *you're not allowed to do this. You can't just avoid it like you avoid* (link: "everything.")[everything. "So?" you fire back. "Nora," Leah says, slowly, "it's the apocalypse." She pauses. "Let me out of the car." [[Let her out of the car.|Out 1]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 1]]] (set: $Saved to 1)

"I deserve an explanation," you say. "Put your feet down." Leah puts her feet down. The gas station appears in the distance. You press harder on the pedal in anticipation. Leah says, "It's been months." You can feel her eyes on you. *No, Leah,* you think furiously at her, *you're not allowed to do this. You can't just avoid it like you avoid* (link: "everything.")[everything. "So?" you fire back. "Nora," Leah says, slowly, "it's the apocalypse." She pauses. "Let me out of the car." [[Let her out of the car.|Out 1]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 1]]] (set: $Explanation to 1)

Your vision goes red with fury. "You know what?" you say. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, you pull abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," you say. Without so much as looking at you, Leah fumbles for her seatbelt. You notice that her hands are shaking. "Sort out your fucking priorities," she mutters, but she sounds like she's saying something else. You search her face for a sign of what that might be, but then she's turning away and climbing [[out.]]

You stare at her. You don't think you've seen Leah angry at you before now. Even at the end, she didn't look angry. Just sad. Withdrawn. "Why?" you ask. "You can't leave." "Let me out of the car," Leah says again, enunciating each syllable carefully. [[Let her out of the car.|Out 2]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 2]] (set: $Stuck to 1)

*"Why?"* you ask again. You can't believe she's doing this. You're so furious you can barely speak. After you rescued her, she's making a fucking scene out of you wanting to have a conversation? Jesus Christ. "Nora," Leah says, warningly. [[Let her out of the car.|Out 2]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 3]] [[Kiss her.|Kiss one]] (set: $Stuck to 2)

"There are Goldeyes out there, Leah!" "I'll take my chances," Leah bites out. [[Let her out of the car.|Out 2]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 4]] [[Kiss her.|Kiss 2]] (set: $Stuck to 3)

"Jesus," you hiss. "Is this that fucking hard? You would rather be *eaten alive* than spend a minute with me, is that it?" Leah groans, throwing her head back so it thunks against the head of the seat. "Of course you're doing this," she says. [[Let her out of the car.|Out 2]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|In 5]] [[Kiss her.|Kiss 3]] (set: $Stuck to 4)

"Of course? What do you mean of course?" Leah scowls at you. "Ohhh, it's just *classic*. it's *my* fault for wanting to get out, not your fault for putting me in an uncomfortable position! *Never* your fault!" Your vision is growing blurry with anger. You're about to do something insane. Throw her out of the car while it's still moving. But no - you could do something worse. You lean across the console and [[kiss her.|Kiss her 2.]] (set: $Stuck to 5)

The door slams behind her with a stomach-dropping finality. You take a moment to gather yourself, and then you pull back onto the road. You don't look behind you - don't look for Leah stumbling along the side of the road alone - instead you look ahead, at the straight, deserted street. There's a smudge of something dark against the yellow (link: "horizon.")[horizon. By the time you realize you've blown right past the gas station, you don't even (link: "care.")[care. [[...|You are Leah Mowbray.]]]] (set: $Out to 1)

(if: $Saved is 1)["I just saved your life," Nora says. "Put your feet down." You put your feet down, feeling immediately more vulnerable. *Is that why you did it?* you think, bitterly. *So I would owe you something?*] (if: $Explanation is 1) ["I deserve an explanation," Nora says. "Put your feet down." You're not sure this is true. You put your feet down, feeling immediately more vulnerable.] "It's been months," you say. "So?" Nora bites (link: "back.")[back. "Nora." You stare at her. "It's the apocalypse," you say, hoping to knock some sense into her. You can't believe this is happening. You can't do this again. You have the sudden, urgent need to get away from her. [["Let me out of the car,"|Car 1]] you say.]

(if: $Stuck is > 0)["Why?" Nora asks flatly. "You can't leave." [[*Get out!*|Car 2]]] (if: $Out is 1)["You know what?" Nora snarls. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," she says. You pull in a sharp breath, relief and terror flooding you all at once. You fumble for your seatbelt. "Sort out your fucking priorities," you hiss at Nora, and with the one sentence, you try to communicate everything she never understood. The self-centeredness. The hot-and-cold treatment. The complete unwillingness to admit she was hurting you, ever in her life. But as you climb out of the car, you know that she'll never get [[it.|alone]]]

She pulls away from you. You stand by the side of the road, watching as she blows right past the gas station. Maybe you'll start there. It seems as good a place as any, when you've got nowhere else to go.

(if: $Out is 1)["You know what?" Nora snarls. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," she says. You pull in a sharp breath, relief and terror flooding you all at once. You fumble for your seatbelt. "Sort out your fucking priorities," you hiss at Nora, and with the one sentence, you try to communicate everything she never understood. The self-centeredness. The hot-and-cold treatment. The complete unwillingness to admit she was hurting you, ever in her life. But as you climb out of the car, you know that she'll never get [[it.|alone]]] [(if: $Out is 0) + (if: $Stuck is > 1)["Let me out of the car," you say, enunciating each syllable carefully. *"Why?"* Nora says again, this time with more vehemence. [[*Let me out!*|Car 3]]]]

(if: $Out is 1)["You know what?" Nora snarls. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," she says. You pull in a sharp breath, relief and terror flooding you all at once. You fumble for your seatbelt. "Sort out your fucking priorities," you hiss at Nora, and with the one sentence, you try to communicate everything she never understood. The self-centeredness. The hot-and-cold treatment. The complete unwillingness to admit she was hurting you, ever in her life. But as you climb out of the car, you know that she'll never get [[it.|alone]]] [(if: $Out is 0) + (if: $Stuck is > 2)["Nora," you say, warningly. "There are Goldeyes out there, Leah!" Nora protests. [[*Let me OUT, goddamnit!!*|Car 4]]]] [(if: $Out is 0 )+(if: $Stuck is > 1 ) + (if: $Kiss1 is 1)["Nora," you say, warningly. She leans across the console and [[kisses you.]]]]

(if: $Out is 1)["You know what?" Nora snarls. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," she says. You pull in a sharp breath, relief and terror flooding you all at once. You fumble for your seatbelt. "Sort out your fucking priorities," you hiss at Nora, and with the one sentence, you try to communicate everything she never understood. The self-centeredness. The hot-and-cold treatment. The complete unwillingness to admit she was hurting you, ever in her life. But as you climb out of the car, you know that she'll never get [[it.|alone]]] [(if: $Out is 0) + (if: $Stuck is > 3)["I'll take my chances," you say, and genuinely mean it. "Jesus," she hisses. "Is this that fucking hard? You would rather be *eaten alive* than spend a minute with me, is that it?" [[*GET ME THE FUCK OUT!*|Car 5]]]] [(if: $Out is 0) + (if: $Stuck is > 2) + (if: $Kiss2 is 1)["I'll take my chances," you say, and genuinely mean it. She leans across the console and [[kisses you.]]]]

(if: $Out is 1)["You know what?" Nora snarls. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," she says. You pull in a sharp breath, relief and terror flooding you all at once. You fumble for your seatbelt. "Sort out your fucking priorities," you hiss at Nora, and with the one sentence, you try to communicate everything she never understood. The self-centeredness. The hot-and-cold treatment. The complete unwillingness to admit she was hurting you, ever in her life. But as you climb out of the car, you know that she'll never get [[it.|alone]]] [(if: $Out is 0) + (if: $Stuck is > 4)[You groan out loud. "Of course you're doing this," you say. "Of course?" Nora repeats. "What do you mean of course?" [[*HELP!*|Car 6]]]] [(if: $Out is 0 ) +(if: $Stuck is > 3) + (if: $Kiss3 is 1)[You groan out loud. "Of course you're doing this," you say. She leans across the console and [[kisses you.]]]]

"Ohhh, it's just *classic*," you groan, hearing yourself being dramatic but unable to stop. You've wanted to say something like this to her for so long. "It's *my* fault for wanting to get out, not your fault for putting me in an uncomfortable position! *Never* your fault!" She leans across the console and [[kisses you.]]

Leah shoves you away with both hands. "Jesus fucking Christ!" she says. She claps a hand over her mouth, stares at you with wide green eyes. "Oh," she says. "You can't do this to me." "I can't do this to *you?"* you echo. "What did *I* do?" Leah looks away. She runs her pointer finger over her top lip, then her bottom. Then she massages along her jawline, frowning. [[Confess.|Confess]] (set: $Kiss4 to 1)

"I thought we were good." The words spill out of you in a stream. You didn't want to be making accusations; you wanted Leah to come to *you* with the apology. But apparently that's not going to happen. "Did you not love me, Leah? Not at all?" Leah makes a noncommittal noise, as though she has already removed herself from the conversation. Fuming, you watch her pull down the sun visor and lift the mirror flap, peering into her own (link: "reflection.")[reflection. "Checking your makeup?" you ask. Leah says, "Let me out of the car, Nora." [[Let her out of the car.|Yes]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|No]]]

"No," you say. You blow past the gas station. Leah closes her eyes, folds the mirror back up with shaking hands. "You don't even know, do you?" she asks. "You have no idea why people– what you do. Do you? You just can't admit it to yourself? Is that it?" "You're not making any sense," you protest. "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Let me out of the car," Leah says. [[Let her out of the car.|Yes]] [[Don't let her out of the car.|No 2]] (set: $No to 1)

Your vision goes red with fury. "You know what?" you say. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, you pull abruptly over. "Get the fuck out," you say. To your surprise, she does, without another word - shaking hands fumbling with the seatbelt. When the door slams behind her, you sit in silence for a moment, stunned despite yourself. And then you get a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. A feeling that maybe you should [[move.]] (set: $Out2 to 1)

Still with her eyes closed, she tries to open the door, but you have your finger on the central lock button. "No," you say again. You think you see something on the road ahead of you, far away. A smudge of something dark against the yellow (link: "horizon.")[horizon. "Nora," Leah says, and something in her voice makes you [[turn.]]] (set: $No to 2)

Leah is staring at you with electric yellow irses. "Let me *out,"* she gasps, and then she bares her teeth and snarls. (live: 1s)[(stop:)[[[...|You are Leah Mowbray.]]]]

You put your foot to the gas, and as you do, you hear a horrible, inhuman cry behind you. You do not look back. (live: 3s)[(stop:)[[[...|You are Leah Mowbray.]]]]

Her lips are very hot. You put both hands on her shoulders and shove her away. "Jesus fucking Christ!" you gasp. You clap a hand over your mouth, staring at her. "Oh," you say. "You can't do this to me." "I can't do this to *you?"* Nora spits. "What did *I* do?" So like her - so like her - of course she has to ask - your lips feel numb. You [[touch]] them.

Nora starts to yell at you again, but you're fixated on the numbness, now - it spreads through your face, behind your mouth, up the bridge of your nose, across your forehead like a headache. Your brain feels fuzzy - Nora's voice fades in and out. A horrible thought hits you, piercing through the fog. "Did you not love me, Leah?" you hear her ask, distantly. "Not at all?" You open your sun visor and the mirror flap inside of it. *Of course I did,* you think, dazedly. You blink and blink until you can see - see your face, see your [[eyes.]]

Nora says something else. You don't hear it. "Let me out of the car, Nora," you manage to say. (if: $Out2 is 1)["You know what?" Nora hisses. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out." You do. You tumble to the pavement, head swimming. Of course. Of course she didn't know. Anyone else in the universe would've figured out by now that they were a carrier, but not Nora. You gaze up at her car as it idles in front of you. You can't hear anymore. You keel over, kneeling on the rough asphalt, and then you set your head sideways on the ground and gaze up at Nora's car again. Your vision has blurred so all you see is black and yellow. And then you see nothing.][(if: $No is > 0) + (if: $Out2 is 0) ["No," Nora says. You close your eyes, fumbling for the mirror to fold it back up. You want to scream at Nora. Nora, who didn't know. Nora, who should've known. Anyone - *anyone* would've figured out by now that they were a carrier, but not her. Not Nora. "You don't even know, do you?" you groan, not even sure what you're saying. "You have no idea why people– what you do. Do you? You just can't admit it to yourself? Is that it?" Nora says something else. Your ears are [[ringing.]]]]

"Let me out of the car," you say. (if: $Out2 is 1)["You know what?" Nora hisses. "I will." With a horrible squealing of wheels, she pulls abruptly over. "Get the fuck out." You do. You tumble to the pavement, head swimming. You gaze up at Nora's car as it idles in front of you. You can't hear anymore. You keel over, kneeling on the rough asphalt, and then you set your head sideways on the ground and gaze up at Nora's car again. Your vision has blurred so all you see is black and yellow. And then you see nothing.][(if: $No is > 0) + (if: $Out2 is 0)[Still with your eyes closed, you try to open the door, but it won't budge. "Nora," you say. You open your eyes and everything tilts. The world outside the dashboard is a blur of black and yellow. Nora is staring at you, and as you look at her, she warps, swirls, is swallowed up by darkness. You can't see anything anymore. "Let me *out,"* you cry, to the darkness, and then you're gone.]]

For reasons you can't explain, your impulse is to lean across the console and kiss her. Leah shoves you away with both hands. "Jesus fucking Christ!" she says. She claps a hand over her mouth, stares at you with wide green eyes. "Oh," she says. "You can't do this to me." "I can't do this to *you?"* you echo. "What did *I* do?" Leah looks away. She runs her pointer finger over her top lip, then her bottom. Then she massages along her jawline, frowning. [[Confess.|Confess]] (set: $Kiss1 to 1)