A Blank Page

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(set: $historias to 0) (set: $ordenadorusadohoy to 0) (set: $quediaes to it + 1) (if: $finalBuenoDisponible is 1)[You feel that today will be a special day(click-goto: "special", "Habitación 3")] (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[The screen glows in the darkness of the room hurting your eyes. You notebook, open by a page full of hastly-writen notes (some old and some very recent), lie near your keyboard. On the screen the cursor(click-replace: "cursor")[misterious cursor] blinks slowly at the end of a sentence, on a document almost completely blank. **>**// It all started ten years ago, at sea.//**|blink>[_]**] (else:)[The screen glows in the darkness of the room, hurting your eyes. Your notebook, open on a blank page(click-replace:"blank page")[blank page that is starting to feel very familiar to you], lies near your keyboard. On the screen the cursor (click-replace: "cursor")[feared cursor] blinks over the white background of a clean new document. **>|blink>[_]**] [[You look through the window|Ventana]] [[You lay your hands over the keyboard|Teclado]] [[You pick up the notebook|Libreta]]

{ (if: $vistasDesdeLaVentana is 0) [The weak light of a new dawn enters the room through the window. A clean blue sky can be seen outside. Birds are singing and flying by the high voltage cables that dance with the morning breeze. It is going to be a cold day and you have already lost count of them.] (if: $vistasDesdeLaVentana is 1) [The fog covers the street that runs under your window and barely allows a glimpse of the streetlights and wastebaskets that line the sidewalk. Some dew-laden cars sleep a peaceful sleep waiting for their owners to wake them up to continue with their lives. Moisture condenses on the window pane, forming curious patterns.] (if: $vistasDesdeLaVentana is 2) [A fine rain soaks the trees and the few passersby who try to reach the next chapter of their lives with a brisk step. The tiny drops rattle against the glass with a constant cadence.] (if: $vistasDesdeLaVentana > 2) [Looking out the window had become an absurd ritual at this point: One more day. Another boring dawn outside. The same timeless feeling.] (set: $vistasDesdeLaVentana to $vistasDesdeLaVentana + 1) } [[Depressing|Deprimente]] (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[[[You decide to take a shower before starting the day's work|Ducha]]] (else:)[[[I wil be better outside.|Fuera]]]

(if: $ideaOriginal is 1)["Depressing". How many times had that word come to your mind when you contemplated the spectacle through that window? Now, however, you just wanted to look away to put it back on the cursor (click-replace: "cursor") [glowing cursor] that wait your instructions to fill the screen with a million of words.] (else:)[At other times, that window inspired or encouraged you in difficult times, but now it seems sterile and depressing. You know that the cursor (click-replace: "cursor") [damned cursor] will still be there when you return to the screen. Waiting for you.] [[You refocus your eyes on the screen|Pantalla2]] [[You check your notebook|Libreta]]

That may be what you need to inspire you: To go out and see people passing by; the living city. The screams of the furious and the laughter of children. Hundreds of city conversations ready for the attentive writer to brilliantly capture in novel form. [[I could go to the café|Cafetería]] [[Perhaps not|Quedarse]]

While you fantasize about the romantic image of the great writers, writing hundreds of words while sipping cups of tea in nice Parisian cafés, you remember that you have not take a shower in days, and the clothes of the last time you came outside are still scattered around the apartment. A whole dose of reality thrown to the face. You decide that if you really want to feel like a person, you should take a shower and repair some of the chaos that your negligence has provoked. [[You enter the shower|Ducha]]

On second thought, you would lose precious time and you are already lagging behind your schedule. You have to start writing now. That's the reason you got up so early. [[You put your eyes on the screen again|Pantalla2]] [[You take your notebook, looking for ideas|Libreta]]

You take a look at your apartment again, although you already know everything in it by heart. (if: $quediaes < 3)[On the shelf lay the same books on writing and style that you've already read from cover to cover thousands of times (click: "thousands of times")[ (that sound like empty words to you, all things considered)]. The tiny kitchen is still covered by the remains of yesterday's dinner (click: "the remains of yesterday's dinner")[ and the stains of many more meals that have survived your feeble cleaning attemps]. The unmade bed is covered with blurred papers.](if: $quediaes is 3)[The unmade bed is covered with blurred (click: "blurred")[cursed] papers.](if: $quediaes > 3)[ Nothing.] (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[Today, however, you see everything with different eyes. Your apartment is less like a prison and more like a creative haven. You feel that everything begins to get back on track and you will soon be able to emerge triumphant. [[You prepare a nutritious dinner|Cena]] [[You go to bed to read a little before sleeping|Lectura]]] (else:)[The decaying light of the dusk seeps through the window. (if: $ordenadorusadohoy is 1)[[[You take a walk|Paseo]] [[You spend the noon doing some house chores|Tareas]] [[You chat online with your friends|Chatear]]] (else:)[[[You try to write a bit|Teclado]]]]

As soon as the warm water touch your body you start to feel better. Gradually, the shower windows are misted up with condensation blocking the view ot the bathroom, and you feel again that comforting solitude that very few understand. (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[The water running through your body clarifies your ideas. You feel that your decision of exploring the story about the sea is the best that you have made on weeks. You just needed that little push to re-activate the machinery of your mind. Now you had to force her to stay focused on the task. Maybe you creative block is coming to an end(click: "Maybe you creative block is coming to an end")[. And with that thought illuminating your heart, you come out of the shower with illusion and hope.(click-goto: "you come out of the shower", "Teclado")]] (else:)[It's normal to feel frustrated(click: "It's normal to feel frustrated")[. The creative process is complicated and demands a lot from the mind. It's normal to get stuck sometimes. Although your current block lasted for weeks(click: "Although your current block lasted for weeks")[. All you've done is smudge a lot of pages and open that damn document over and over again to face a cursor who doesn't care about you at all. You repeat to yourself that everything will be fine soon(click: "You repeat to yourself that everything will be fine soon") [, although you haven't listened to yourself for a long time. It all sounds hollow. Everything is futile, a waste of time and energy. Why do these ideas always haunt you in the shower or in bed?(click: "Why do these ideas always haunt you in the shower or in bed?")[. Can't your brain leave you alone even in these little moments of intimacy? Does it have to remind you of your failures every time it seems that you can get out of that dark hole? You force yourself out of the shower, almost in tears drowned in frustration.(click-goto: "You force yourself out of the shower", "Habitación2")]]]]]

You close your eyes, trying to focus, and begin to write the first idea that comes to your mind: **>|blink>[_]** (link: "Once upon a time ...") [(set: $historias to it + 1) (if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)]Come on, really? I can't start like this, what the hell am I thinking?] (link: "The rain bitterly pattered on the window glass ...") [(set: $historias to it + 1) (if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)]What the heck was that?] (link: "My gaze fell on his eyes colored like the sea ...") [(set: $historias to it + 1) (if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)]No, no, no. I don't see myself writing a romance novel, I wouldn't know what to do or how to handle it.] (link: "The soldier carelessly wiped the blood of his sword on his victim's clothing ...")[(set: $historias to it + 1)(if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)][Writing epic fantasy would require a lot of worldbuilding work that I'm not in the mood for right now.]] (if: $chatear is 1)[(link: "It all started ten years ago, at sea...") [(set: $historias to it + 1)(if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)]I have already started that countless times and I have not even reached the third page. (cycling-link: bind $elMar, "I can't.", "Maybe it's time?")]] (if: $historias is 3)[(show:?cierre)] |cierre)[You put down the keyboard and sigh loudly. The feeling of not knowing what you are doing grip your chest making it difficult to breathe. [[You stare at the screen|Pantalla en blanco]]]

(if: $elMar is "Maybe it's time?")[[(set: $ideaOriginal to 1)] **>**// It all started ten years ago, at sea.//**|blink>[_]** The words you had written had penetrated your mind. While it is true that it was an old idea and when you had tried to write it you had never advanced too much, it may be that revisiting that concept will help you unlock yourself. Just a few words on the screen, but they had an incredible effect on your brain. It was a start.(click-goto: "It was a start.", "Habitación2")] (else:)[In front of you, only the desktop background of your computer remains. Your outburst of anger hasn't made you feel better and you haven't made any progress. You need a new approach(click: "You need a new approach")[. You need something that will inspire you, some exciting idea that your brain wants to devour as if it were a delicacy. Maybe shutting down the computer (click-goto: "Maybe shutting down the computer", "Habitación2") Maybe checking your notebook (click-goto: "Maybe checking your notebook", "Libreta")]]

(set: $ordenadorusadohoy to 1) You really like this old keyboard. Its soft touch caresses your fingers. The tapping sound it makes when typing accompanies you in the solitude of the apartment. Even its slight inclination is perfect for adjusting your hands on it. But, like a curse, everything changes as soon as you stop using it to play or chat or whatever and start using it to write your projects. As soon as you start ... **>|blink>[_]** (link: "...feel the roughness of some of the keys") [You notice the roughness of some of the keys and how some of them offer more resistance, slowing you down when typing. (link: "...the sound starts to be annoying") [The sound starts to be annoying, like a little hammer incessantly beating your ears, reminding you that you are not quick enough, that you are wasting time. (link: "...your wrists are getting sore") [You have to constantly change the position of the keyboard because you notice your wrists sore while you are typing. (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[[[... But today you don't seem to care so much about that little annoyances|No te importa]]] (else:)[(link-goto: "Nevertheless, you still try", "Intento")[ ]]]]]

You spend the afternoon walking around the city and reflecting on what you are doing and what it means to you. It is very hard to see how little you have advanced, how much it costs to write each line, each word. (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[Even now that you've decided on a possible start, the daunting task in front of you seems overwhelming.] [[You tell yourself that it will be worth it|Te dices que merecerá la pena]] [[You think it would be better to quit|Piensas que sería mejor renunciar]] [[You tell yourself it's just been a bad day|Te dices que sólo ha sido un mal día]]

You spend the rest of the afternoon putting your apartment under control. (link-reveal: "You do the laundry") [ (Although it does not take long since there are not many clothes to wash). (link-reveal: "You clean the apartment")[ and stop from time to time to reorder the books on the shelves by different rules. (link-reveal: "You take out the trash") [... "Oh, Hi Angie!" "Yes, I'm still working on that novel." "I'm lagging a bit, but it's slowly coming together." "Yeah, i'm pretty sure that all will work in the end." "How's your niece?" "Good night Angie, see you". When you end all your chores it's very dark. (link-reveal: "The computer awaits threatening at the back of the room") [. But you decide that this is not the time. You make yourself a light dinner and spend the rest of the night chilling out and catching up on Twitter. Tomorrow will be another day and you will surely get some writing done. (link-goto: "The next day", "INICIO")]]]]

(if: $ideaOriginal is 1) [You get to your phone to tell your friends that now you have it. Tell them that your goal is a little bit closer. You feel like you've done something very important today and you need them to know it. They need to know that you have had a bad time, that you have been in a well from which you thought you could not get out. But now it's over. (click: "You have your initial seed")[You have your initial seed. The only thing you need now is to water it and give it all your love to see it grow.]] (else:)[The glow of your mobile's screen calms you down. Your friends are just a few bytes away, sharing their experiences of the day and memes to cheer everyone up. A few images and some videos can make you forget a bad day, or your worst week. We only need the company of those who appreciate us. That "Hey, have you seen this?" that let you know that that person, possibly hundreds of kilometers away, remembered you when he saw something that made him laugh or inspired him. It's that sense of community that does not require touching or looking into the eyes, only the memory of what is shared. Tomorrow will be another day. Today you only need to be with your people, wherever they are. (set: $chatear to 1)] [[The next day|INICIO]]

You are going through hard times, there's no doubt of it. All those feelings of failure, all that anxiety, and the fear that you are not good enough for this, are only illusions. The end to that creative block will come, sooner or later. Then, everything will finally make sense.(if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[ You must focus on that new idea, and forget about everything else.] [[You return to your apartment and get ready to sleep|INICIO]]

For a brief moment, you think that nothing you do makes sense. You prefer not to think about how long you have been facing that white wall that you insist on calling "Project". But, no matter how you delude yourself, you haven't made any progress. Again, the voice within you claims your attention to remind you of your purpose. No one has managed to become a successful writer by giving up on their first try (or second, or whatever this try is). They have all needed constant work and an iron will. You have to temper your determination and fight your instincts. (if: $ideaOriginal is 1)[Also, now you have a new lead. A new thread to pull with a lot of potential.] [[Let's wait for tomorrow|INICIO]]

A bad day, just that. Concentration has failed you. The stimuli were not adequate. You had other things on your mind. Tomorrow will be another day and this time and this time, [[it will be your chance to shine.|INICIO]]

There it is the cursor (click-prepend: "cursor") [ damned ] and its unbearable blinking. **>|blink>[_]** The warden of your cell. The reminder of your unsuitability. You realize with annoyance that you have been staring at the screen and that flashing bar (click-prepend: "flashing bar") [ wicked ] for several minutes and your hands are still resting on the table. [[With a sigh, you put them on the keyboard|Teclado]]

<img src="Logo Creative Whisper.jpg" class="center" style="width:400px;height:225px;"> (event: when time > 1s) [<h3>**>|blink>[_]**</h3>]{ (event: when time > 2s) [<audio src="teclado.wav" autoplay></audio>] (event: when time > 4s) [<h3>A Blank Page</h3>] (event: when time > 7s) [<audio src="teclado.wav" autoplay></audio>] (event: when time > 8s) [<h5>A short story about creative block and the impostor syndrome.</h5>] } (event: when time > 12s) [ (set: $quediaes to 0)[[BEGIN|INICIO]] [[A message from the creator|Mensaje del desarrollador]]]

Your mind has cleared. Nausea has subsided. You look at your computer and it seems that everything finally makes sense. **>|blink>[_]** The cursor (click-prepend: "cursor") [ glorious ] keeps blinking undaunted, but now there is text on the screen. A text that encourages you to explore it. To mold it. The page is no longer blank. A new door opens to the future. You open the notebook and put your hands on the keyboard. [[The magic begins|La magia comienza]]

(set: $finalBuenoDisponible to 1) Today your brain does not seem to surrender to the discomforts or the small annoyances that have been haunting you all this time. Your hands rest calmly on the keyboard, waiting for your instructions. Looking forward to work. You start slowly, one word at a time, remembering how you started on the previous occasions. But you quickly discard continuing around, it's time to give the story a new focus. After what seemed like hours (click: "After what seemed like hours")[, several paragraphs populate the page and you decide with a huge sense of triumph deep inside your heart that [[you can rest for today.|Habitación2]]]

**>** (event: when time > 0.1s)[<audio src="teclado.wav" autoplay loop></audio>] //(event: when time > 0.1s)[It] (event: when time > 0.2s)[all] (event: when time > 0.4s)[started] (event: when time > 0.5s)[ten] (event: when time > 0.6s)[years] (event: when time > 0.8s)[ago,] (event: when time > 0.9s)[at sea.] (event: when time > 1.1s)[It] (event: when time > 1.3s)[was] (event: when time > 1s)[one] (event: when time > 1.1s)[of] (event: when time > 1.3s)[those] (event: when time > 1.5s)[days,] (event: when time > 1.6s)[when] (event: when time > 1.8s)[only the] (event: when time > 1.9s)[most] (event: when time > 2.1s)[adventurous] (event: when time > 2.2s)[fishermen] (event: when time > 2.3s)[dared to] (event: when time > 2.4s)[face] (event: when time > 2.6s)[the] (event: when time > 2.7s)[inclement] (event: when time > 2.9s)[weather.] (event: when time > 4s)[ But] (event: when time > 3.2s)[I had] (event: when time > 3.3s)[a] (event: when time > 3.5s)[purpouse] (event: when time > 3.7s)[, one] (event: when time > 3.9s)[that] (event: when time > 4.1s)[not] (event: when time > 4.3s)[even] (event: when time > 4.4s)[the] (event: when time > 4.7s)[severest] (event: when time > 4.9s)[storm] (event: when time > 5.1s)[Neptune] (event: when time > 5.3s)[dared] (event: when time > 5.4s)[to throw] (event: when time > 5.7s)[on] (event: when time > 6s)[me] (event: when time > 6.3s)[could] (event: when time > 6.6s)[even] (event: when time > 6.8s)[dream] (event: when time > 7s)[to] (event: when time > 7.2s)[twist...]// **|blink>[_]** [[THE END|FIN]]

You have used that old notebook countless times to jot down individual ideas and phrases. Inspirations, drafts, even some phone numbers (click-append: "some phone numbers") [ (with a bit of regret)] when you couldn't find another piece of paper at hand. That notebook has been waiting for some ink for a very long time. You go through the notebook and turn some pages: (click: "You go through the notebook and turn some pages: ") [ (cycling-link: "A girl jumps from a balcony, but does not fall and just floats in the air. The only way to get it to land is to pop her like a balloon.", "Everyone is accompanied by the ghost of their death, who speaks and advises them but refuses to tell how they'll really die.", "A boy has fallen into a cave and the spirit of his deceased brother tries to guide him to escape.", "A hidden door in a hotel in the mountains leads to an unknown dimension in which the protagonist is the only hope for salvation.", "Humanity's dispair has begun to turn into a dark liquid that seeps through the cracks in the earth and drives people crazy.", "The gods have died, but their corpses have become visible in the world, which encourages the emergence of cults in their name.", "After the nuclear apocalypse, the man who caused it ends up locked up with the last survivors.", "When we reached the stars, we discovered that our ancestors had arrived earlier.")] (if: $elMar is "Maybe it's time?")[ You had a very good idea some time ago(click: "You had a very good idea some time ago")[ for a story. About the sea and how it affects people and their lives. You go through the pages of the notebook until you find the first anotations of it. It had... something. It was an intimate story, exploring some concepts that motivated you. However, you had dismissed it several times for not knowing how to continue it after the first few pages. You take your beloved pen(click: "You take your beloved pen")[ and write down the first sentence that comes to your mind after the begining. You review what you have written(click: "You review what you have written")[ and it seems to work pretty well. You go on for a while(click: "You go on for a while") [ jotting down more sentences, crossing out some old passages and adding new ones. You don't really know how long you kept that frantic rhythm(click: "You don't really know how long you kept that frantic rhythm")[(set: $libretaLlena to 1), but now the notebook sparkled with new paragraphs and sentences and a whole host of new possibilities. With a feeling of triumph, you closed the notebook and decided to leave it for today.(click-goto: "decided to leave it for today.", "Habitación2")]]]]]] [[You prefer to search for inspiration in other places|Habitación2]]

You remember that you had buy a very good haul of veggies and other delicious ingredients, so you have a very good number of dishes you could prepare. Lately you couldn't find the motivation to cook anything more complex that some rice or pasta, but now you open the fridge and improvise a wonderful dish. [[Tomorrow looks good, and you have some work to do|INICIO]]

It's been a long time since you spent an afternoon just reading a bit. It always gave you the feeling that you were procrastinating and wasting valuable time that you may be investing in writing your own story. Today, however, you have another attitude. You have finally advanced. You may have broken that blockage that has haunted you for a long time. Reading the works of others may reaffirm you on your way. Plus, you've earned it. [[Tomorrow there is so much work to do|INICIO]]

This short story talks about the doubts that assail any creator when starting their creative process. In the story, we take the place of a writer, but much of the text is valid for any creative discipline, since all arts have their own version of the "Blank Page Syndrome". As an interactive fiction writer I feel very much reflected in the concerns and fears expressed here, but what is crucial for me is what you, the player, feel when you experience this little piece. I truly hope that this little work resonates with you. I will be very grateful for any suggestion or constructive criticism that you can bring to me. You can leave me a comment or reach me on Twitter (@creativwhisper). This way, you will help me to improve in order to become a better writer. Thank you. [[BEGIN|INICIO]] [[Acknoledments]]

<h2><center>THE END</h2></center> Thanks for your time, I hope you liked this little piece. I work tirelessly to improve and create works that impact and inspire others. If you want to help me be a little better every day, you can leave me a comment with your impressions, your criticisms and your suggestions or contact me on Twitter (@creativwhisper). I will be very grateful to you. I will be doubly grateful if you also help me reach more people by sharing my little pieces with others, because there is no use in writing if you are not read. Peace and Love. Edu.

I wish to give my thanks for their invaluable help to... Ertal Óscar González Tensin R. Márquez Andrea Podadera Spirulina [[BEGIN|INICIO]] [[A message from the creator|Mensaje del desarrollador]]